'I will arise and go now, and go to Innesfree.'
***
"Colonel?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you ask me again?"
"Ask you? Ask you what?"
"To go with you."
"Oh." He smiled faintly in the darkness.
"Well?" she prompted softly.
"Well, I'm kinda scared at what the answer will be."
"Why?"
"Because I've asked you three times and I never hear the answer I want."
"Maybe this time will be different."
"Why should it be different?"
She sighed and that small expulsion of air, barely heard above the commotion outside, held the answer to his question.
"Tell me what it's like"
"I've told you about it before."
"Tell me again."
"Ok." He turned to look at her as he spoke. Her head was resting against the wall and the moonlight cast a soft blue glow against her features. She closed her eyes as she listened to his words.
"Well the best time to go is just at the beginning of Fall. The airs got a bite in it that pricks at your skin and fills your eyes with water. It reminds you how real the world is."
Leaning back, he curled his arm around her shoulders and then he too let his eyelids fall closed. Outside the sounds drew nearer, but in his mind there was no sound save for the echoing cry of the loon, that circled up through the cerulean sky. Feeling her settle against his shoulder, he looked down at the top of her head and reached up to brush away the rubble and dust that clouded her golden hair.
"In the morning there's a haze that hangs in the air; a mist that comes in from the lake that makes it seem like you're lookin' through frosted glass. If you listen just after sunrise you can hear the crickets and they're chirping so loud it's like they're having a party in grass and it's lasted right through till dawn."
"Tell me about the lake." Her voice sounded almost sleepy and although he knew that they should stay alert, in case someone stumbled on their hiding place, he was reluctant to shatter the cocoon they had spun around themselves. No, it was more than sheer reluctance. He felt powerless to do anything, as though they were being lulled into a trance by his litany.
He told her about the lake.
"When the Dakota called it the land of sky-blue waters, they did it an injustice. On a calm day the waters are so still that in places it's hard to see where the sky ends and the lake begins. Sometimes I feel that there's no end to it. It just goes on and on.
Those are the days that are good for fishing and I don't just mean for the catch. It's on those days that the afternoon sun melts into a purple glow across the horizon and the mountains look as if they're painted onto the sky. It's almost like a movie set it's so perfect."
An explosion rang out somewhere very near. Too near. But still he would not be distracted. They couldn't stay here forever, he knew, but for now this was their time. He wanted peace for just a little while. For peace comes dropping slow, as a poet once said.
"You wanna hear about the nights?"
She didn't speak but he felt her nodding against his shoulder. He told her about the night-time.
"At night it can get bitterly cold, dangerously cold, but if you can brave it for a little while and if you don't stray too far from home, you can look up at the sky and see just how big the universe is." He sucked in a breath at the image that his minds eye presented to him. "I swear, Sam, there're so many stars up there you wonder how God had time to make them all. Y'know it wouldn't matter how many worlds we travel to, I don't think we could ever comprehend how big it all is.
"Just behind the cabin there's a wood full of oak and maple and in the summer the leaves are so thick on the trees, you wouldn't know if it was night or day. Sometimes you can just spot the white-tailed deer flitting away from you. But in the autumn the leaves fall and blanket the ground with a layer so soft you could just curl up and go to sleep right there."
The words he spoke were hushed and soporific. He could almost feel the cold stone beneath him soften and turn into the crimson and gold carpet of the forest floor. The debris above became the protective canopy of branches.
"You know there're times when you can stand in that wood or on the edge of the lake and it's easy to believe that the world has never been touched by man. Everything's still pure and new."
Her hand grasped tightly onto his arm and he glanced down at the top of her head once more but could not see her face. He wondered what she was thinking but was scared to ask, knowing that if she was troubled or afraid there would be little he could do to make it better.
A sudden sadness gripped him and he took a deep, shaky breath as he tried to quell the tears he could feel forming in the back of his throat. A pain had arisen in his stomach that the images in his head could not diminish. If anything they only served to worsen it. He longed for his cabin and for the lake and to be there when the woman seated next to him saw it all for the first time. He wanted so much for her to see it.
Both sat in silence for a time and as the noise outside raged on he knew it was time to move.
"Sam?"
"Yes." It was a statement rather than an acknowledgement.
"What?"
"Yes, I'll go with you." She sat back and turned to face him. The moonlight picked out the profile of her delicate features and he knew that she was beautiful. And then the moonlight was gone, replaced instead by the last gasp glow of a sodium arc lamp that hung mournfully from the wall. The moonlight didn't reach down here, into the belly of the Cheyenne Mountain, 28 floors under the surface of the Earth. Down here where they'd fled that morning, taking refuge in the facility that had become no more than a multi-million dollar crypt.
The Goa'uld ships had left orbit after circling the globe for two days and descended on their world unhindered. They had circled like vultures who were unwilling simply to scavenge, but took delight in making the kill themselves. They had circled for two days, taunting them, mocking them, rubbing their noses in the fact that they were powerless to defend themselves against the invasion, their primitive defences ineffectual against the might of Apophis.
At no time had Jack O'Neill felt this helplessness more acutely, than when Major Carter and he had been forced to conceal themselves as the Serpent Guards overran the mountain complex, slaughtering at random members of the SGC staff. They had retreated into the bombed out storage cupboard, desperately trying to think of a way to stop the carnage that was unfolding. But eventually despair had triumphed.
As time had gone on the furore outside had diminished and Jack had known then that there was no one left. Daniel, General Hammond, even Teal'c were gone. He could imagine the proud Jaffa, standing unrepentant before his former god, defiant to the last, accepting the accusations of 'sholva' without remorse.
So now they were the only ones left. The guards continued to swarm through the corridors of the SGC, like a virus through veins, intent on wreaking destruction even though there was little left to destroy. He could even hear them laughing.
Sam sat watching him.
"We should go now."
A fleeting look of confusion gave way to one of quiet acceptance. She nodded. Reaching out he grasped her hand and they rose to their feet. They stood that way for a few seconds, their hands held tight, their eyes locked, unsaid words passing between them.
Outside staff blasts ricocheted down the halls, blasting into concrete and sending tremors through the floor. Jack looked out through the crack in the door. A squad of ten Jaffa were making their way from the other end of the corridor towards them, unaware of their presence.
Sam and he clutched their weapons, a pair of MK23's with barely more than 3 rounds per clip. He turned back towards her and saw the water that glistened along the bottom of her eyes. Jack smiled and whispered softly, "Now."
Yanking the door open, both soldiers burst into the corridor. Jack could hear himself yelling, but the sound was dulled by the roar of the guns. Both Sam and he fired blindly at the guards who rapidly overcame their initial surprise and raised their staff weapons to begin blasting down the corridor.
As Sam and he made their charge, he became aware of the warmth in his palm and realised that she was still holding his hand. He rushed headlong towards the intruders with Sam at his side and then suddenly his movements met with resistance, as if he were dragging a weight. He turned and Sam was no longer at his side. The warmth in his hand remained though and when he looked down he saw her lying on the ground, her eyes staring, her chest a raw gaping hole. But still she grasped his hand and still he fired at the oncoming Jaffa. Then he realised that the only sound coming from his handgun was the hollow click-click of the hammer hitting against an empty chamber.
He dropped the gun and fell to the floor, gathering into his arms the body of his second in command, now bereft of all life. That precious spark gone from her crystal eyes, whose blue he realised was as translucent as that of his lake. He held her head and whispered into her ear.
For a moment the staff blasts stopped and the Jaffa viewed this scene with a mixture of awe and curiosity. The words they heard described a beauty that none of them had the means to envisage, yet somehow they were reluctant to put an end to them.
Then one of the soldiers, anonymous in his steely grey garb raised his weapon once more, discharging a single shot into the chest of the kneeling man. He fell forward on top of the woman, his body still, his words silenced.
Yet somewhere the wild, sad cry of the loon still rings out as it has done for sixty million years and somewhere the night stars besiege the heavens in their multitude. Stars that probably glowed their last aeons ago but whose phantom light still marks their presence. And somewhere a woman stands on the shores of a lake, her hand still clasped in the hand of her love, as they gaze out over the ethereal blue waters that lap softly at their feet.
***
'I will arise and go now for always night and day I hear the lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore; While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey, I hear it in the deep hearts core.'
From 'The Lake Isle of Innesfree' by W.B. Yeats
Story Notes: Season/Sequel Info: After S3 but it doesn't really matterSpoilers: Any episodes that mention fishingAuthors notes : This is based on one of my favourite poems 'The Lake Isle of Innesfree' by Yeats
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]