~Lying beside you, here in the dark
Feeling your heart beat with mine~
It's late here on our latest planetary mission, and you sleep soundly beside me. I can't sleep, not with you right here. I watch the steady rise and fall of your chest, hypnotized by the rhythm. I miss not being able to do this at home, being able to watch you sleep, being able to listen to the beating of your heart as I hold you. I have no one to blame but myself for that.
We fought, or more to the point I argued with you and didn't listen when you tried to get things straightened out. Then you left, angry with me. I can't really blame you; I'm such a pain in the ass. I almost feared you'd want to avoid going out on missions with me, but fortunately you decided to put the personal issues aside and continue working on the team. Of course that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less to see you every day and not be able to go home with you like before.
~Softly you whisper, you're so sincere
How could our love be so blind~
You begin to talk quietly in your sleep and I strain to hear what you're saying. I catch bits and pieces, and I realize you're reliving our argument. Does it still bother you so much, I wonder? It was stupid, really. My pointless jealousy over some guy paying extra attention to you. And, well, the way you smiled at him...that smile I love to see directed at me and no one else. Maybe I've been so blinded by it that I never noticed that that smile is not meant for me alone. Others have your love, I know that, but I always felt like that smile was my own little secret treasure to enjoy. Like it was that something extra for the deeper love you felt for me. How dense could I be to think that?
~We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side~
I guess I have to admit that I let you go that day. I let you walk out the door when I could have very easily stopped you. All I needed to do was say I was sorry, to tell you that I was wrong. But I didn't, and now here we are, together, but apart. And it hurts like hell.
~So now I come to you, with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you'll see, what your love means to me...open arms~
If I told you all this, would you listen? If I got down on my knees, arms wide open, begging forgiveness, would you come back? Or would you think it was all for show? I would do it, if it would convince you to come home again. I would do anything to get you back.
~Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near
How much I wanted you home~
When I go home at night, the chill of the house is even more palpable than usual. I don't know what it was about you, but you were able to make that place seem like it was the warmest, most inviting home I'd ever been to. And now it's like any other house again, it doesn't feel like a home any more. I was a fool to have taken this for granted before. Now I don't know if it'll ever feel like home again. Without you there, I don't think it could. I wish there were some way I could convince you to come back.
~But now that you've come back
Turned night in to day
I-need you to stay~
Dawn breaks and your eyelids flutter open. I attempt to look like I haven't been watching you all this time, but you know me too well. You give me an admonishing look for not getting any sleep. I open my mouth to come up with an excuse, but your hand covers it before anything comes out. And then you give me *that* smile.
I melt instantly at the sight of it. Oh god how I've missed it. You don't say a word, but I know by the expression on your face you've forgiven me, and that is all I need to know.
You pull me in to a quick kiss before the others awaken, and I linger briefly near you, drinking in your scent. I could stay like this forever, but I move back when I hear the other two begin to stir, sharing a happy smile with you. Everything is all right; you've come back to me. And now I won't be so alone, day or night.
THE END
Story Notes: Tiffany, whom some of you may remember from the S&J list, wrote to me recently and asked me to use the song "Open Arms" to write a story. Well, I sat on it for the past couple of weeks and I finally wrote one. It's kinda angsty, but that's the feeling of the song, so I just went with it. Enjoy! =)
Anything between the tildes (~) is song lyrics.
Anything between the tildes (~) is song lyrics.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]