I hate that guy.
He's just so...so...slimy.
Yeah, slimy, that's the word for him, among others, but I'm not allowed to use those kind of words, my mother used to frown upon it God rest her soul.
I hate it here.
I hate it here and I hate living here with this guy. He only pretends to like me because of her, because of Sam, my Sam.
"Hello? Hello where are you?"
Ah nuts...he's looking for me again...
"Come on now...I saw you come over here. You know there's nothing for you outside"
Outside? There's nothing for me in this whole damn place! Maybe if I stay quiet and low I can hide from him. Mind you, there's not much to hide in or beneath unfortunately.
"I know you went this way, now come on, we have some food for you inside"
Food? *Food???* That stuff isn't food, it's horrible and slimy and grey and I hate it!
"Schroedinger...where are you?"
Horrible, slimy and grey. Those words fit more than just the gruel they feed me around here, that's for sure. I take off down the corridor and luckily a few passing Tollans are moving into the main hallway, so I bolt after them and make it through the door by weaving through legs and bound into one of the alcoves to catch my breath and plan my next evasive move. I hate him, I hate Narim. Maybe I should go scratch him some more, or maybe I should find a new way to annoy him, I mean there must be something I can do to throw a spanner in the works of this guys life, maybe something to do with Sam...hey!
Suddenly I find air under my paws as two strong hands lift me from the floor, the fingers curled securely yet somewhat clumsily under my stomach. I go limp with a sigh at this unwelcome intrusion, but due to the handling I know it's not Narim, the hands are too big to be Sam, and none of the other Tollans ever seem to notice me. My ascent continues until I'm a few feet from the ground, then the hands move and twist me, fumbling to turn me to face my captor, yet still hold me at arms length as if I'm some delicate thing or an object to be feared. Finally I face the right way and the hands spanning my middle yank me close till I find myself staring into puzzled brown eyes. The eyes study me for a few seconds, jumping about as he scrutinises me from nose to tail, then he lifts me above his head but still with outstretched arms as he glances at my rear end. Hey! I'm a boy okay? Sheesh...some people...I'm brought down to eye level again, and the man screws up his face as he examines me, tilting me this way and that before finally speaking in a matter-of-fact voice.
"Hello kitty"
My, how original. I screw up my eyes at him and wrinkle my nose in a fetching manner. I suppose I shouldn't have expected any more from Colonel O'Neill. That must be who this guy is, he's wearing the same clothes as Sam and Daniel, but he has brown eyes and an air of confidence that identifies him as the man Sam often spoke about to me at home. By the way he's regarding me warily I can guess he's probably not a cat person. Judging by his strong frame and the outdoor activities Sam told me he likes he's most probably a dog guy, which explains why he's never been around to see me at Sam's apartment. God I miss that place.
"So...you like it here huh? Uh...Schroedinger is it? What the hell kinda name is that for a pet...only Carter..."
He shakes his head at that, and I start to swish my tail and narrow my eyes. No I don't like it here buster, and don't you dare say anything like that about Sam! She's mostly only ever said nice things about you! In fact sometimes she's given me a little too much information about this guy, I mean I'm a cat, lady! I don't care how Colonel O'Neill looks in his desert fatigues, whatever those are...
Voices sound from behind me then, and he looks over me at the people walking by.
"Looks like the closing session of this diplomatic circus is about to begin Schroe...and boy I'm glad I'm sitting this one out, this kinda stuff is best left to Daniel and Carter, it gives me a headache"
You and me both pal, and what's with the Schroe? Actually, that's not half bad, makes me sound kinda macho, the 'dinger' part on the end always did kinda bug me. I'm lifted closer in O'Neill's arms once more as he studies me. Then he looks both ways down the hall as a very familiar voice rings out.
"Schroedinger? Come on now, I need to put you back in your room"
O'Neill winces at the sound of Narim, then looks around for an exit. His arms sag with my weight, and it looks as if he's about to dump me and bolt. Please don't, please don't abandon me in this hallway, I can't get through any of these doors and he'll find me easily. A ginger cat does kinda stick out in a white corridor.
"Schroedinger? Please Schroedinger, we can't have you running about in the hallways, you know how that fur of yours gets everywhere"
O'Neill suddenly moves as the voice draws closer, stalking quickly over to a bench where his pack lies, and I can tell he's about to put me down. Using the last tactic available to me I summon all my strength and let rip with the biggest purr I can manage. O'Neill pauses, and looks at me curiously, and I give him my sweetest little kitty expression.
"I guess you don't want to bang into old Narim any more than I do huh Schroe?" He whispers, and I intensify the purr. He nods with a snort, then looks from me to his pack, his bottom lip between his teeth. He hefts me in his hands a few times, he eventually shuffles my weight and lifts me with one arm, placing me against his chest. I loop my paws over his shoulder and dig in tight with my claws and he supports the rest of me with his arm curled around my rear and scoops the pack onto his other shoulder with his free arm. Not bad for a cat novice O'Neill, this is actually quite comfy. Both secured he quickly and silently trots down the corridor and out one of the doors back to the west wing and the staging and resting area SG1 have been allocated for the duration of their stay.
"Whew! Close call eh Schroe?" He tells me as he dumps his pack and pauses in front of one of the slightly-more-comfortable-than-normal-chairs they have around this place. He tries to pull me off, but all four sets of my claws are dug deep into his vest, and its rather warm and pleasant being pressed against him and hearing his strong heartbeat. He has a rather pleasant smell as well actually. He soon gives up his efforts, and with a sigh he whirls and drops himself into the chair, holding me to prevent any jarring. Once there I move down into his lap and curl there contentedly, and after rolling his eyes a few times his hand drops tentatively onto my back, and he starts to stroke my soft fur with a growing confidence. I close my eyes and claim his entire lap as my own and eventually he settles too and trails his hand lazily the full length of my body.
"So...you miss Earth huh?"
I give a small mew and he chuckles.
"Yeah, not much to do around here is there? No mice or rats to chase, and not a whole lot of trees to climb in. Mostly plain corridors and Narim eh?"
I give a low angry mew and swish my tail, and he laughs again.
"I feel for ya Schroe I really do, having to spend your days with him. I betcha miss Carter too huh? Ya miss her?"
I purr loudly and bury myself in his arms, and he laughs indulgently and gives me a sweeping caress right to the tip of my tail before speaking in a quiet, warm voice.
"Yeah, yeah I'd miss her too. I was away from her once, for a long time, and I missed her like crazy. Kinda scared the hell out of me how much I missed her..." He shakes his head ruefully at his last words, and scrubs at his head with his hand as if he'd just said too much.
"What am I doing, telling all this to a cat..."
I sit up on his lap and look into his eyes, and his mouth quirks into a lopsided smile as he reaches out to scratch my head, moving behind one of my ears. I flick the ear a couple of times until he finds the right spot, then close my eyes and lean into his fingers when he does, and purr. When I look at him again he's smiling at me, the puzzled and unsure brown eyes of before now warm and humorous. I'm beginning to see why Sam likes him so much.
"You like that huh?" He asks, moving to my other ear, and I voice my agreement.
"Well, I know I'm no replacement for Carter, but I'm sure I'm a step up on Narim"
I purr and nudge his hand to reassure him that he is, but his hands stop and smooth down my sides and I watch his eyes as they drop to the floor.
"Yeah well I wish Carter thought I was a step up from Narim" He says almost inaudibly, but before I can process this new information the recess bell thing goes and he stands, forcing me to leap down from his lap onto the chair.
"Looks like we might be heading home Schroe" He says, gathering his pack and Sam's which is the only other one here before striding to the door. I follow him to the doorway and when he walks out he pauses and looks down at me.
"Gotta go Schroe, maybe see ya later, and listen, give Narim a scratch for me okay?" He grins and gives me a jaunty little salute, and I watch him go with a goodbye mew of my own, making a promise to give Narim an extra big claw next time he catches me. I think I like this O'Neill guy, he kinda reminds me of me, hell, that's probably why Sam likes him so much. I was there last time she came through the gate, and the brush-off she gave slimy-head kept me purring for a week, but I never really knew before now why she stumbled over Narim's question as to whether there was someone else in her life, but I guess I do now. This guy. I watch as he strides away and meets Sam at the large door at the other end of the corridor, handing her pack over with a smile and a flourish, making her laugh, and even blush a little. They walk off with Daniel and Teal'c and a few Tollans, and when I hear Narim's whining voice call me again from the other direction I slit my eyes and smirk in the cat manner. There's one thing I can do to give O'Neill one up on Narim, and I'd be happy to do it.
Very happy indeed.
***************************************
"Thank you, we've come a step closer to making the relationship between humans and the Tollans official. Goodbye to you all, goodbye Daniel"
I shake Travell's offered hand, and walk towards the stargate where my team-mates are waiting. Teal'c is standing impassively as always, and Jack and Sam are standing conspicuously apart, but still glancing at each other every few seconds. I decide to stay away from them, and head to Teal'c instead. Pleasantries over we turn to activate the gate with the Tollans fancy new DHD thingy, but suddenly there's an exasperated shriek and a streak of ginger funnels its way between numerous sets of legs and comes to a stop in the middle of the square. I push my glasses up my nose and the tense tail-up form of Sam's cat Schroedinger leaps into focus. Behind him the crowds of well-wishing people part to admit a very shook up looking Narim. His normally 'bullet-proof' hair is pointing in all directions, his normally immaculate clothes look scruffy and ragged in places, and his face and hands show signs of scratches. He attempts to straighten his appearance as the onlookers start to whisper to each other, and the unmistakable sounds of a snort and a whack come from behind me. God I must be getting sad if I can identify Sam and Jack's interactions by sound alone. Narim staggers into the square, smiles briefly at Sam and holds a hand out towards Schroedinger who is squatting facing him, tail thrashing dangerously.
"There you are Schroedinger, I've been looking for you everywhere. Why don't you just come over here then you can say goodbye to Samantha and have some dinner hmm?"
His smile appears slightly forced, and his tone of voice is one of a man harassed. Subdued chuckling still sounds from behind me, and Schroedinger certainly doesn't look convinced. Suddenly Narim seems determined to show Sam how well he's looking after her cat, and he grits his teeth against Jack's now plainly audible laughter and strides towards the cat, arms reaching. I wince as Schroedinger's hackles rise and he hisses, looking about to attack, but suddenly he changes his mind and shoots off towards us, and past me, doubtless into Sam's arms. I only turn to see what's happened at the silence that suddenly descends, and when I look round I just gape at what I see. Sam is standing with her mouth open looking down at the cat, who's purring like a small motorcycle as it winds its way tightly in and out of Jack's legs, pushing its broad little head against his calves, demanding to be picked up and caressed. Jack has a dopey grin on his face as he looks from the cat to Sam's face, and even Teal'c has raised an eyebrow. In all the time I've known Jack I've never seen a single cat react favourably to him, nor the other way around. Makes me wonder how much of a coincidence it is that he and Sam's cat have suddenly become fast friends. Narim simply stays where he is, aghast, disbelieving that the cat he's been trying so hard to make friends with has betrayed him in the worst manner possible, by running straight to his rival. Rival, are Jack and Narim rivals? I mean I know that Narim has feelings for Sam, and secretly I've always suspected that Jack did in his own way, but his triumphant smile to Narim as he bends and scoops the happy cat up into his arms just confirms my suspicions.
"Heya Schroe, is the bad man being nasty to you?" He coos quietly at the cat, scratching at seemingly the perfect spot behind a triangular orange ear, making the big ginger tom wriggle with delight, and start to knead his claws in and out of the thick material of Jack's vest. Sam's eyebrows shoot upward in tandem with mine at Jack's behaviour, and also his traditional shortening of almost any name he comes across. Sam takes a few steps over to him and the cat looks up at her with half closed sleepy eyes, and Jack beams right along with him.
"When did you two become friends?" She asks, amused, her eyes sparkling as she gazes up at Jack. He smiles down at the cat then back at her and shrugs as he runs his hands through the cat's fur, trying to look nonplussed.
"We had a little chat when you lot were yakking. A little man-to-man you understand"
The cat purrs even louder and rolls over in Jack's arms, and Sam reaches out to stroke the tawny fur of Schroedinger's belly. Jack's hand joins hers, and the two just grin stupidly at each other as the cat's eyes close in obvious pleasure. Narim skulks backward to join the lines of his fellows, and Teal'c returns to the job of dialling home, but this time with a strange look on his face. I try and concentrate on what Teal'c's doing, but I can't help but glance at Sam and Jack as they bestow caresses on the cat, beaming at it and each other, looking for all the world like a Mom and Dad fawning over a new, and very happy child. The gate whooshes open as Teal'c finishes dialling, and Sam leans forward to give her cat a last hug, and as she leans into Jack to cradle the animals head in farewell I swear I see an indulgent smile form on his face, and if I didn't know any better I'd of said he took the opportunity to smell her hair. Finally she steps back, and Jack moves away from the wormhole and places the cat on the ground. It faces him for a moment and he crouches down to give behind one of its ears a last scratch, and I swear I hear him whisper "Thanks buddy" before rising and turning to Sam. The cat turns and shoots off around the corner of a building as Narim sighs and runs after it, and I have to struggle to contain my own chuckle at this amusing turn of events.
"Daniel Jackson, we are leaving"
"Oh right, thanks Teal'c"
I turn and follow after Teal'c, but I can't help but grin when I see Sam and Jack deep in conversation, her wide blue eyes shining up at him with what can only be called adoration as he smiles gently down at her. I think Jacks sudden parental behaviour to her beloved and much missed cat may have gained him some ground, and I think Narim is way out of the picture judging by the fact that she never even took the time to say goodbye to him, so focused was she on Jack. I can still hear the echoes of their gentle mingled laughter as I follow them into the wormhole, and I swear he hand his arm over her shoulders right up until they went through. Huh, if I didn't know any better I'd swear Jack somehow engineered this whole thing, from Narim's humiliation to his own seeming bond with Schroedinger. Nah, sly though Jack is there's no way he would have even thought of this much less been able to execute it so perfectly. It must have been pure luck on his part, and yet it seems so unlikely...
I pause just before entering the event horizon when the strangest feeling tickles down my spine, and glancing back over my shoulder before the wormhole takes me, I see a very satisfied looking large orange cat sitting on the roof of the council building, just watching. His amber eyes smile at me, and as the picture fades out of view I find myself thinking of some rather unrealistic notions.
Nah.
Surely not.
He's just a cat after all.
************************************* THE END *************************************
Story Notes: EMAIL: dustdevil@btinternet.com
WARNINGS: Narim lovers avoid!
ARCHIVE: S&J Archive and Heliopolis, Yes. Others...please ask.
FEEDBACK: Yes please! Feeeeeeeeeeedbaaaaaaaaack...drool...
SPOILERS: Enigma, Pretense, brief mention of 100 days.
WARNINGS: Narim lovers avoid!
ARCHIVE: S&J Archive and Heliopolis, Yes. Others...please ask.
FEEDBACK: Yes please! Feeeeeeeeeeedbaaaaaaaaack...drool...
SPOILERS: Enigma, Pretense, brief mention of 100 days.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]