Sam woke up and pulled herself out of bed. Today was the Colonel's Fourth of July barbeque, and Janet Fraiser wouldn't be there with them this year. And Janet wouldn't be there next year, or the year after that, or the year after that one. She wouldn't be there ever again. She had died in the line of duty just a few weeks ago, the same exact day that Sam had almost lost the most important man in her life: Colonel Jack O'Neill.
Now, here she was, supposed to be getting ready to head over to his house and celebrate her country's independence, when that was the last thing in the galaxy—let alone the world—she wanted to be doing right now. She wanted nothing more than to crawl back into her bed and sleep through the day, not wanting to celebrate anything when her dearest friend was gone. But Sam knew that Cassie would be at her house in an hour to ride over to Jack's with her, so she needed to get up and take her shower. She had to be strong for Cassie today.
Once her shower was done, Sam pulled on her red and white shirt and her blue, denim shorts; added with her sandals, she was ready to go. She left her room and walked into the kitchen. While she waited for Cassie to arrive, she finished putting together her contributions to the barbeque. She made a Jell-O salad with red and blue Jell-O and whipped cream; this way her salad was patriotic. Plus that way, she and Colonel O'Neill had their favorite flavors of Jell-O. She remembered this last thought with the barest hint of a smile.
As if reading her mind and being right on time, the doorbell rang and Sam went to let Cassandra Fraiser in, glancing at the young woman that almost mirrored her friend and noted that Cassie was wearing an `I'm proud to be an American' t-shirt that Janet had given to Cassie as a gift for last year's Fourth of July celebration at the Colonel's house.
"Hi, Cass. I'm glad you agreed to ride over with me. I would hate to have to show up at the Colonel's house alone." Sam told the teenager as she hugged her tightly. Cassie smiled at Sam when she pulled back to look at her `aunt'.
"I'm surprised that you didn't ask Pete to take the time off to go with you, Sam. Jack said he was coming to the barbeque. And Mom had told me that you two seemed to be getting serious with each other. Although, I always thought that you and Jack would end up together." She replied. Shocked at what she had just said, Cassie covered her mouth as Sam shrugged it off dismissively. Cassie had heard her mother speak often to her of the potential relationship that was underneath the tough military exteriors of Sam and Jack.
"I broke up with Pete last week. I haven't told anyone about it yet." She told Cassie.
"What?" She asked Sam, unsure if she had heard her correctly. The look on her face gave away the shock and surprise in her voice.
"Yeah, I told him that I didn't love him the way he loves me, or the way he deserves to be loved. I told him that I was just using him and he deserved someone who would be able to give him their whole heart. Mine will always belong to someone else." The last part was said in a whisper, but Cassie had heard it.
"You told him all of that?" She asked disbelievingly as Sam chuckled.
"Well, I didn't tell him the last part. But, yeah. I told him most of it. And it's all true," Sam replied as she picked up her salad and turned back to Cassie. "Ready to go to this shindig?"
Cassie laughed when she saw what Sam had in her hands. "Trying to make sure that you brought Jack's favorite Jell-O flavor, too? I bet you're using the lame excuse of how it's patriotic, huh? I know you, Sam. Almost as well as Mom did."
The mention of Janet reminded them both of her sudden absence. "I miss her too, Cassie," Sam told her as she placed an arm of comfort around her shoulders, while balancing the Jell-O dish on her other hand. "Whenever you need someone to talk to, usually about men, it was your mom I went to."
"Sam, if it's alright with you, I'd like to be there when you need someone to talk to as well. I know I can't take mom's place, or know a lot about men, but I'd like to be there for you like you've always been there for me. When you're on-world, that is." Cassie said with tears in her eyes, while Sam hugged her comfortingly again.
"You got it, kiddo." Sam told her as she led her out of the house and towards the car.
Jack and Daniel were setting up the back yard for the party, both of them feeling the loss of their friend today as much as Sam and Cassie were. Jack could feel the tension-filled moment of the loss as he turned to Daniel, who was messing with some of the refreshments for the arriving guests that would show up soon. His attention was obviously not on his task because he was putting too much of one thing into the ice chest with glazed over eyes.
"Daniel, you have to make sure that there's an equal amount of beer and wine coolers in the ice chest. Oh, and make sure that you throw some regular and diet sodas in there with them, too. I promised Cassie that she could have one wine cooler. But only one. But I also promised Carter that Cassie wouldn't drink at all tonight." He got the barbeque grill ready for the steaks, beef patties, a few veggie patties for the vegetarians and the chicken that he planned on cooking later for everyone's dinner. He wanted to make sure that he had a variety of meats for everyone's difference in taste. He knew from first hand experience that the few people from the SGC that he had invited had a varied food regime.
"Jack, if Sam finds out that you promised Cassie even one wine cooler, you know she'll have your ass in a sling. How are you going to keep her attention elsewhere at that time?
"I'm sure one of us, or better yet, her smarmy boyfriend can keep her busy long enough for Cassie to have a wine cooler." Jack grumbled when he mentioned Sam's boyfriend, Pete Shannahan, just as Teal'c walked out of the house with a huge ice chest full of more sodas and other drinks.
"O'Neill, where do you wish me to put this?" He asked as Jack turned to see what Teal'c had brought out as far as beverages, noticing Coca-Cola, Diet Coke, regular Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew Code Red, Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, 7-Up and other sodas. Daniel muttered as he took the sodas that he had just put into it and put them into Teal'c's cooler as the Jaffa started walking away. Jack just smiled and helped Daniel with the process of shifting the sodas from one to the other and filling the missing spots with more beer and coolers, therefore creating an adult cooler and one that was non-alcoholic.
"Why don't you put it under the table umbrella, T? That way it stays cooler in the shade and the ice won't melt as fast," Jack replied as he saw Sam and Cassie walk through the side gate and into the back yard. "Hey, Carter. Cassie. It's about time you two got here. Are you guys trying to get out of helping us set up or what?" He asked them, causing Sam to roll her eyes at his joking manner.
"No, Sir. I was just trying to make sure we had enough dessert is all." She held up her dish and watched his face suddenly light up as Daniel walked over to hug them both and then took the dish from Sam.
"Red and blue Jell-O, Sam?" He asked her, rolling his eyes at her.
"Hey!" Jack called out to Daniel. "I think she brought the best dessert in the entire galaxy. Next to cake, that is. Don't make her take it back, Danny Boy."
Daniel just rolled his eyes again and took the dish into the house. He was careful not to drop it, while Cassie followed him, carrying the bag of chips that she had brought along.
"What else needs to be done, Daniel?" She asked him as they walked into the kitchen and he set the Jell-O dish on the counter and pulled down a bowl for the bag of chips that Cassie still carried in her hands.
"Not much. Jack had most of it set up before Teal'c and I arrived about an hour ago. He must have been up real early to get all the red, white and blue decorations up," Daniel remarked as he looked back out into the yard. "Hey, where's Pete? Didn't you tell Sam that he was invited to this thing, too?" He asked her, turning back around to face her. Cassie looked around to make sure that Sam and Jack were still out in the yard before she answered him.
"She didn't invite him. In fact, she broke up with him last week." Cassie reported with a smile. Daniel was shocked that Sam hadn't mentioned it to any of them. He was happy to hear the good news, but it still came as a complete shock.
"Really? She broke up with him? I wonder why." Daniel asked just as Teal'c walked inside.
"What is the matter, Daniel Jackson?" He asked when he saw the look on his friend's face. Daniel spun around to make sure that Sam was still occupied with Jack outside.
"Teal'c, did you know that Sam broke up with Pete last week?" He asked, causing Teal'c to frown and shake his head; uncommon for the Jaffa.
"No. I did not, Daniel Jackson. That is good news for O'Neill, is it not?" He replied as he grabbed the meat out of the freezer, causing Cassie and Daniel to smile.
"That's great news, Teal'c! Now Jack and Sam can finally get their acts together and get together!" Cassie said, giggling. But Daniel sobered and shook his head.
"No, Cass. They can't. Remember the Air Force regulations? They say that as long as they are both in the same chain of command, they can't be romantically connected." Daniel recited, causing Cassie to become slightly depressed as she looked out into the backyard at the couple sitting outside talking and laughing together.
"What if they're careful and no one says anything? Couldn't they be together then?" She asked, remaining hopeful. But Daniel just shook his head and watched his two friends as they sat next to each other and talked, making Daniel realize just how unfair the United States Air Force was being towards them, and suddenly realizing how lucky he was to have loved Sha're.
"So, Carter. Where's Sand-In-The-Hand?" Jack asked her, not really wanting to know. He tried to sound like he wasn't hurting, but not really doing a good job at it; his sarcasm was coming off cold-handed and calloused. Uncomfortable with his question, but he knew she'd answer him anyway. He made the joke about Pete's last name.
"You mean, Shannahan? Um, well, Sir. He's not coming." She paused and looked at him. "I, uh…" She didn't know how he'd react to her next statement, so she just came out and said it. "I broke up with him last week." She wasn't prepared for what happened next as she looked up at him and he gave her one of his killer `O'Neill' smiles and took her hand.
"Well, Carter. I always thought you were too good for that scum anyway." He squeezed her hand, and then, just as quickly, let it go. They sat in silence for a while, unsure what to really say to the other, and then he turned to her. "So, Carter. You wanna beer?" He asked her finally.
She looked at him and smiled. "That would be great, Sir. Thank you." She replied as he got up and went over to one of the ice chests and she watched him and admired what she saw. She loved the way his shirt hung on his back, but clung to his biceps. His legs and arms were wonderfully tanned, and she really loved the way his shorts hugged his butt. All in all, he was the sexiest man she'd ever known.
When he bent over, her heart started pounding tightly against the inside of her chest cavity and she felt all tingly inside as his shorts clung even more to his rear. A giddy smile spread across her face as she watched him. When Jack turned around, he caught her watching him and the smile on her face suddenly disappeared. He pretended that he hadn't noticed, but felt a warm rush suddenly fill his heart, as well as other parts, as he walked back to her, but didn't let on that he had seen her watching him.
"Here ya go, Carter." He said handing her the bottle. She smiled as she reached for it, and as their hands brushed each other, she blushed.
"Thank you, Sir." Sam responded, looking down at her lap, causing Jack to growl in frustration, making her head snap up to look at him once more, blue meeting dark brown.
"Look, Carter. Just for today, while we're off-base and on downtime, my name is Jack. Do ya think that you could do that for me? Please?" he asked her as she looked down at her beer and then back up to him. She was torn between saying yes and no.
If she said yes and called him Jack out loud, it would seem like all the walls would come crashing down and she'd be vulnerable to not only him, but herself as well. On the other hand, if she said no, then she wouldn't be tempted to take it a step further and reach out to touch him or to want to kiss him so badly. It was a battle that he could see being waged on her face and deep in her eyes. He also saw when she'd made up her mind: her face broke out into a big smile, a smile that she had used towards him since the first day they had met. He had fallen in love with it from get go.
"Only on one condition, Jack. You have to stop calling me Carter and call me Sam." She answered, causing him to smile back at her with a wink.
"Okay. Deal, Sam." They laughed for a few minutes and then continued to talk a while longer.
Daniel, Teal'c and Cassie stood in the living room, watching the couple talk and occasionally laugh together. When they heard the doorbell, Daniel went to get it and then he came back into the room, looking quite upset and distraught. He was holding an envelope in his hand. Jack and Sam must have heard the bell, because they were looking through the sliding glass door at the trio, noticing Daniel's facial expression and got up to see what was going on.
"Hey, guys. You might wanna have a look at what was just delivered." He was looking at the envelope when everyone reached where he was standing and froze. It was addressed to all five of them in a familiar scroll.
They all sat at the table on Jack's deck and looked at the envelope that was written in the familiar handwriting now laying in the middle of the table. No one wanted, or had the courage, to touch it, afraid that it might be too real, but knew that it was important to see what its contents were. Jack looked around and noticed that no one was really ready to reach out and open it just yet. But they also couldn't take their eyes off of it. Jack finally cleared his throat and reached out, his hand shaking visibly.
"We might as well get this over with. I mean, we all knew something like this was going to happen eventually." Jack replied and then opened Janet's letter. He cleared his constricted throat again and started reading aloud to Sam and the others.
`My Dearest and Closest Friends and Loving Daughter,
If you are all reading this, then the unthinkable has happened. I am no longer with you. Who would have imagined that after all these years of knowing each and every one of you, that I would no longer be around to share in your adventures and lives, your ups and downs, your happiness, and the turmoil that you somehow always found; to be there when you sing `Row, row, row your boat', or just be there to hear you argue about being in perfect health, when at least two of you have had your physiology drastically changed. Ahem, Colonel and Sam. Ring any bells?
One can only imagine how or where my end finally came. I hope, and deep down somewhere, know, that I died with honor, doing the thing that I loved the most. Saving lives. That is the one thing that made me happiest, next to knowing all of you and loving you all as the family that you became. I never thought that my life would be filled with the wonderful personalities and laughter that each one of you brought to mine, and even the moments of extreme impatience and frustration towards a certain Colonel. And for that, I will always be grateful and blessed.
When I first came to Cheyenne Mountain to work amongst you, and then become a mother, I never once thought I would have spent so much time there, let alone make the wonderful and lasting friendships that I have held so dear for so long. I had always thought that I would be brought in for one special case, but I found myself living around all of you and sharing in the missions that you all went on, even though I hardly went to places like you did. And sharing with you a part of me that I doubt that I would have exposed, had I not been friends with each of you. You all are so important to me. Each of you has a particular quality and quirk about you that I love so much, something that drew me to all of you, and that will never be extinguished.
Sam, your friendship has been one of the best. You were always there when I needed someone to talk to and vice versa. Next to the Colonel, you've had the second thickest medical file that I have, and on more than one occasion, teased you about. I've been around in your darkest days, your happiest, and even your most loneliest. Even if you didn't know that I was there or around.
You are like the sister that I had dreamed of having, but never had the luxury of getting until the day that I met you and we became friends instantly. I love you so much beyond words that I can't even begin to thank you properly for the many years we have spent as friends. You have heard tales about me and what my ex-husband thought of my career; you've seen me argue with Cassandra and, above all else between us, you never once judged me for mistakes or decisions that I was forced to make when it came to keeping you, or the rest of the team, safe. You truly are my sister, no matter what happens, life or death. Soul-sisters, as I used to call the truest best friend that I had back in high school. Not sure if that fits, but I think it works good enough for us.
Cassie, you are the finest daughter anyone could have ever dreamed of having. Even if I'm not your real mother, the love I have for you will always be there. Don't ever forget that. You came to me from beyond the stars through Sam, Jack, Teal'c and Daniel. You are just a part of my family as the rest of them are. You even held a deep and special meaning when General Hammond had first told me that I was allowed to adopt you and become your mother.
Even on your sixteenth birthday when you got `sick', I was right there to make sure that you got better, rarely leaving your side or giving up hope of looking for a way to make it all better. Even when you were feverish and told me that I wasn't your mother and the other things you said, I never once gave up on you, and never stopped loving you. You are my daughter and you will always be loved. Cassandra Fraiser, you are truly my miracle from beyond the stars. If I have ever given you reason to doubt me, in any way, shape or form, I do apologize. And sorry if I ever made you think I didn't trust you or have faith in you. I did and do.
Teal'c, you are the finest warrior we could have ever come across. I thank you for keeping your ultimate promise to me, which was to keep Sam, Jack, Daniel and Cassandra safe, even if I can't be there now. As proud as you are about yourself, you still need to learn to ask for assistance every once in a while. There is nothing dishonorable about asking for help. I know that you are as stubborn, as Colonel O'Neill, but that's what I get for trying to make you see reason.
But then again, you've probably hung around him too long. I know that you are proud of who you are and I wouldn't change that for all the medical awards in the world. Teal'c, you are a true friend to me and everyone that you have the honor of being friends with. Don't ever change that wonderful trait. I heard a rumor that you might be able to get housing off-base, and I wish you the best of luck on that. Tek ma te and kel shaw, Teal'c. I hope I said that right.
Daniel, what can I say to you? I find that when I think about all that you've been through as well, I can't seem to find the right words. I can usually talk up a storm, but now words escape me. But then I get to thinking about how much there is to say, how much I wish that I could have told you, the deepest part of myself that I couldn't in life. I guess now is as good a time as any.
You'll have to excuse any tear marks that have, or might have, fallen onto this letter. Daniel, you've been the consciousness, voice of reason and curious child of the team since I first met you. Now I can see why Sha're fell for you. You're interesting, smart and good-looking. When you ascended, I thought my life would surely end and float away with your ascended aura. I guess that would be the right term. But somehow, you sent a vibe or something to tell me that everything would be okay and that I would see you again. You have no idea how right you actually were. And when you had all those people's identities inside of you, I wanted nothing more than to hold onto you and make it better; not knowing how much pain you might have been in. I guess what I'm trying to say, Daniel, is that I love you. I have been in love with you for the longest time. I never even got to tell you thanks for being there when Cassie was sick and holding my hand in the corridor like you did. I love you with everything that makes me who I am, Daniel. I think I will miss you most of all.
So, Colonel O'Neill, I believe that leaves us with just you to end with. I know that you getting your shots and pre- and post- mission exams won't be the same. Just promise me that you won't give the person who takes my place the same hard time that you gave me. I have always loved your sense of humor, cynicism, acerbic nature and just the overall personality that makes you who you are. Don't you ever change! You have probably the thickest medical file that I have ever come across in all my years in the Air Force, let alone my medical career. Who knows what other medical troubles you'll get yourself into. But hopefully Sam and the others will be there to get your ass out of it. One can hope, can't she?
Colonel, I know you and Sam both value your military careers and wouldn't put each other into a situation that would question either of your judgments or command decisions, but I think you both are pig-headed and very stubborn. I don't understand why you won't just let it all go and let Teal'c be stubborn for the both of you. God only knows he's got enough stubbornness in him to put you to shame.
Sam and Jack, you both should be, and deserve to be, happy. You've saved Earth, I don't know how many times. I've lost count. But I'm sure Daniel or Teal'c have been keeping score. What I guess I'm trying to say is, GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND GET TOGETHER ALREADY! You both have been to hell and back, literally. What else will it take for the both of you to see that you're right for the other? I mean, Sam, Pete's a nice guy, but just not for you. I'm sure you like Pete for the nice guy that he is, but I always got the feeling that your heart wasn't totally committed to the whole Pete dynamic that created your relationship with him. I believe that fate brought you and Jack together for a reason seven years ago. I mean, even alternate realities have proven that. Isn't that enough proof for the two of you?
Probably not, if the colonel has anything to say about it. Sam, you've thought of ways to bring Jack back from the brink of death and such, gone beyond the call of duty for him, sacrificed your health for him. And, Jack, you've never left Sam's side at the really worst of times for her; Jolinar, the Entity, the change of her DNA by Nirrti, and whatever else I might be forgetting.
What is it really going to take for you to realize that you are special to the other? Another death? I don't know about Daniel, Teal'c or Cassie, but please don't let that happen before you guys finally admit it all.
Please, take my advice. Don't wait until it's too late to tell each other how much you care. If you do, you might regret it and feel miserable for the remainder of your lives. I think the fact that you two were destined for the other really solidified when you were `touched' and when Sam—Don't laugh, Daniel.—nearly and primitively tried to rape Jack. Sorry, but I didn't know how else to phrase it. I believe that's the first time the true relationship between both of you started to take form.
So, please, don't let one or the other die before you say something. Do it now, while you're with Daniel, Teal'c and Cassie, or even when you're alone with each other. I beg you, do not let another day go by like I did.
I love you all and you all will be a part of me. Just remember that I am here with you in spirit every time that you go out `into the wild blue yonder'. I have carved a part of my soul into each of yours, and yours in mine, going where you go, experiencing what you do, and loving each other like I do. Daniel, Cassie, Teal'c, Sam and Jack, I love you all and you are the best family anyone could have ever wanted to be a part of.
Love in Life and in Death,
Janet
There wasn't a dry eye once Jack finished reading it, including himself; Jack hardly ever cried, even in front of his team. He looked at Sam and could tell that she was hurting bad. Janet and Sam had been the best of friends, but really were like the sisters that she mentioned in the letter. He could see just how much she missed and needed Janet right now.
He looked at Cassie, who, although not Janet's biological daughter was so much like good ole Doc Fraiser; almost had the same hair and eye color, not to mention demeanor and personality. She had tears in her eyes and her cheeks were tear-stained as she clung to Sam for comfort, just like she had when they had found her on Hanka and had decided to go back to Earth. Sam's arm was being squeezed like a life preserver that Cassie was desperately clinging to, emotionally flailing in a wavy ocean of grief.
They were good for each other and would continue to take care of each other, just like the letter had asked of each of them to do. Next, Jack looked at Daniel and, for the first time since Janet's death, really saw the turmoil in his friend's eyes. Daniel had tears in his blue eyes, but there was something else, something that he couldn't put his finger on. He guessed it had something to do with Janet's posthumous admission about loving him.
He'd have to remember to talk to him later about it, just the two boys. And then there was Teal'c, the wise and strong Jaffa warrior that was always there when they needed a shoulder to cry on or just to lean on. Even the strong warrior had tears in his usually stoic brown eyes. So Jack didn't feel so bad about not being able to hide his own emotions.
After a few minutes of silent tears, Sam handed Cassie off to Daniel and then stood up, walking into the house, her sobs about to explode into audible sounds of devastation, as if her heart was being ripped out of her chest. She needed a few minutes away from her friends to try and compose herself.
Daniel looked at Jack. "Why don't you go and make sure she's okay, Jack? She doesn't need, or have, to be alone right now. Not when there are people that care about her here." Daniel told him. Jack didn't need Daniel to tell him to go after her; he had already decided to do it when she first let go of Cassandra.
"I've got Sam, if you two take care of Cass." He then got up and went after Sam. He walked through the house and couldn't find her, but wasn't ready to call out her name yet.
He didn't want her to hide behind the wall she like to put up when the two of them were alone, the instant barrier that had been built when they both promised not to take it out of the room. He continued on to the back of the house, finally finding her in the guest room, coming out of the bathroom, her slender fingers drying her cheeks.
She didn't see him right away, so he watched her walk over to the window where she leaned up against the sill and sighed. He walked up to her and almost touched her body with his, when she spoke, as if she could sense he was there.
"I really miss her, Jack." She said as he placed his hands on her shoulders.
"I know you do." He pulled her back to lean on him and wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands on her stomach.
"So why does it hurt so much? I mean, I thought I was doing better and just starting to cope with her being gone. Then this letter comes here out of the blue and all of the pain and loss comes back, hitting me full force again. I feel like my heart is being torn out and then stomped on, while it's still beating." She couldn't stop the tremors in her voice anymore than she could stop the tears that somehow just kept falling. Jack couldn't take anymore; he turned her around to bring her back into his warming embrace.
"C'mere." He whispered, the sound just the same as when she had gone to see how he was after Janet had died and he been wounded. She welcomed the warmth that his arms brought and she enjoyed the feeling of being at home as he held her. But as she calmed down a bit, she pulled back hesitantly, feeling the loss of the warmth.
"I'm sorry, Jack. I know that this is making you uncomfortable. But I do thank you for being here when I need you." Sam told him, tears still cascading down her face, causing Jack to pull her back into his arms.
"I will always be here for you, Sam. Don't you know that by now?" He asked her, cupping her face between his hands as Sam smiled through her tears.
"Yes, I do know that, Jack. I want you to know that I'm sorry if I hurt you by being with Pete. I just wish I could take it all back." She told him, tears lightly sliding along her cheeks where his hands held her face, knowing he could feel the light tickle against the pad of his hands where the base of his thumbs were.
"Hey, it's okay. You don't need to cry anymore." He replied as he wiped the tears from her face. "I'll admit, I was hurt seeing you and Pete together, but it also felt good to see you happy finally. To me, that's more important than whether I'm hurting or not." He leaned down and kissed her briefly on the lips.
It was done so quickly that Sam didn't have the time to respond. When she got over the shock, she smiled at him and placed her hand on his cheek. "What did I do to deserve a wonderful man like you?" She asked.
Jack laughed. "What, this loser?" He asked, pointing to himself.
"You're not a loser, Jack. You're a wonderful man who thinks of others before himself. And I love you for that." She whispered.
Jack was speechless, he just stared at her. Then he wrapped her in his arms and held her. "I love you too, Sam. I always have." He told her.
Sam enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms and could stay like this all day, but the ringing of the doorbell brought reality crashing back down around them.
She pulled back and held his hands. "When everyone leaves, can we finish this conversation?" She asked him with a twinkle in her eye.
He nodded and pulled her into another hug. The ringing of the doorbell made him growl, half in frustration and half in anger, and then pulled back.
Sam laughed. "I'm gonna go wash my face before I go back out there. I'll meet you out back, okay?" She told him. Then she reached up and kissed him this time before walking back into the bathroom.
Jack watched her walk away with a grin on his face. He was happy that it was him, and not Pete, that she loved. He headed to the back yard with a spring to his step.
________________________________________________________________________
Cassie, Daniel, and Teal'c were in the backyard filling General Hammond in on the letter when Jack walked outside. "It's good that you were able to make it, Sir." He told Hammond as he joined the group.
"It's George today, Jack. Thanks for inviting me this year. I'm sorry I missed last year. I heard it was pretty wild." He replied.
Cassie walked up to Jack. "How's Sam doing? Should I go and check on her?" She asked with concern.
Just then Sam walked out of the house. "I'm okay, Cass. I'm sorry guys; I just needed a few minutes to compose myself." She looked over to Hammond and smiled. "It's good to see you, Sir." She said.
He moved over to her and pulled her into a hug. "It's great to be here to celebrate with you all. And, Sam, what have I told you about calling me George when we're off base? I've known you all of your life and even changed a diaper or two of yours. I used to be Uncle George, what happened to that?" He asked her, and then looked at all the confused faces around him.
Sam grinned. "I forgot that I used to call you that. I guess the Air Force happened. I'll try and call you George today." She looked around at everyone staring at her and got defensive. "What?" She asked.
Jack was the first to speak. "He used to change your diapers and you used to call him Uncle George?" He asked in shock, but a grin threatened to break on his lips.
Hammond laughed. "Yes she did and I did. After all, I've been Jacob's friend since we were in high school. I'm also Sam's Godfather." He told them with a smirk on his face.
Daniel and Cassie's shocked, "Godfather?" echoed off of the brick fence.
Teal'c looked at them all confused. "O'Neill, what is a Godfather?" He asked him.
Jack looked from Sam to Hammond, then to Teal'c. "A Godfather is someone who will step in and care for a child if anything happens to their parents. It's a common tradition for us." He explained.
Teal'c just raised his eyebrow in the way he usually did. "I see." ________________________________________________________________________
Things progressed as the day wore on. Siler and Davis, the only other members of the SGC to show up, were watching everyone. They pretty much kept to themselves and were wishing silently that they had gone to Graham's party instead.
Jack flipped the burgers, steaks, and franks on the grill while keeping an eye on Sam. Most of the time she smiled and kept up the façade that she was alright, but he could tell she wasn't when she wandered off away from everyone.
She tried to hide herself behind the big tree in his back yard, but Jack knew she was there. He was about to go over and check on her when Siler and Davis approached him.
"Need help with anything, Sir?" Siler asked him.
Jack handed the spatula and plate to him. "Sure, Siler. I could use a break. Just don't let them burn like Daniel tends to do." He replied then headed off towards the tree Sam was hiding behind.
They just stared after him before Siler turned his attention back to the food. Davis went over to the cooler and got them both a beer. "Hey, Siler, you get the impression that we're missing something here?"
Siler looked at Daniel sitting and chatting with Hammond while Cassie and Teal'c played a board game. Then he looked over to where Jack had disappeared behind the tree.
"Yeah, everyone seems to be too quiet for an Independence Day celebration. Almost like this is a wake instead of a party." He replied.
"Yeah." was all that Davis said.
Jack found Sam sitting on the ground and joined her. "Hey, Sam, whatcha doin'?" He asked her.
She moved over and laid her head on his shoulder. "Just thinking about Janet. She was the first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning. I almost felt like I was betraying her spirit for coming to this party today. And then the arrival of the letter just made me feel even guiltier." She told him.
He put an arm around her. "Why would you feel guilty?" He asked.
"I feel guilty because I betrayed her when she died. I was more relieved that you were alive. In the moment when I found out that Janet was dead, I was so busy thanking God that you were alive, that I didn't have time to think about her death." The tears were falling in cascading rivers again.
Jack pulled her closer. "Shh, please don't cry, Sam. I don't want Hammond to think I'm making you cry. Have mercy on an old man." He pleaded.
Sam actually laughed at him. "I knew that there was a reason why I loved you. You seem to always make me laugh. Even when I'm feeling down like this." She told him as she dried her tears.
"Well, you are the only one to laugh at my corny jokes. You're good for my ego, babe." He pulled her a little closer to his side.
She smiled at his endearment. "Okay, I'm ready to join the party now." She stood with him. "Who's watching the grill?" She asked him.
"I left Siler and Davis in charge of it. I had something more important to do. Someone who needed my attention more than the grill did," he replied.
Sam laughed at him and reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for rescuing me, Jack. It means a lot," she said as they went to join their friends.
They had just reached the steps to the patio when they heard a familiar voice. Sam turned towards the side gate so fast that, if Jack hadn't been there to catch her, she would have fallen.
"Hey, anyone got any real food around here?" Jacob asked as he walked through the gate.
"Dad!?" Sam asked as she ran to him and engulfed him in her arms. "I missed you so much!"
"I missed you too, Sammie. I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner. I heard about Dr. Fraiser and I'm sorry, honey." He said as he hugged her.
Hammond stood and joined them. "Did you have a hard time finding a ride, Jacob?" He asked.
"No. I just asked the SF like you suggested," he replied.
"You knew he was coming today?" She asked in shock.
He looked back to Jacob. "Yeah, but he swore me to keep it a secret so he could surprise you."
"I hope it was okay, Sammie. I didn't want you to get your hopes up in case I couldn't get the time off from the Tok'ra," Jacob told her.
She hugged him again. "I'm just glad that you're here, Dad. How long can you stay?"
"I can stay for a couple of days. I need to be back no later than four days from now. You don't mind putting me up, do you?"
She smiled at him. "Of course I don't mind putting you up. We have a lot of catching up to do." She looked at Jack and shrugged, then watched him walk over to the empty table.
Jacob saw the look and the shrug. "So, where is this boyfriend of yours I've heard so much about? Mark was bragging about him the last time I was on Earth."
Sam took her dad's hand and led him over to the table. When he started to leave, she motioned for Jack to stay seated. Once they were seated she spoke. "Dad, about Pete. I broke up with him." She said.
Jacob nodded and looked over at Jack. "I see. Didn't love him, huh?"
Sam shook her head. "Yes and no. I did care about him, but I wasn't in love with him."
Jacob looked over his shoulder to make sure they were still alone. "So, he was no Jack O'Neill, huh?" he asked her.
Both Sam and Jack were speechless as he sat back and smiled. He was so enjoying this. He was also glad that he'd had a little chat with Hammond earlier.
Sam was the first to recover. "What do you mean by that, Dad?"
"Just what I said. I've known how you both felt for years now. Anise and I have had a long talk about the Zatarc test. And don't give me that look, Samantha. George and I had a bet on how long you two would hold out. Let's just say that your secret is safe with me." He told them.
They slipped into comfortable conversation as the food was still cooking.
Across the yard, Daniel spoke with Hammond. "So, Gen…I mean, George. Isn't there anything we can do for Sam and Jack? I mean, we saved the world how many times? Can't we call in some markers?" he asked in frustration.
Cassie overheard him and joined in. "Yeah. I mean, anyone who knows them knows how much they love each other and deserve to be together."
Teal'c only bowed his affirmation.
Hammond got up and turned towards the house. "I agree. I'm gonna make a few calls." Then he left them standing there.
Davis and Siler watched everyone and shrugged. They felt like things were going on, but didn't exactly know what it was. They were feeling left out, as usual. They both found themselves hoping that things got more exciting…and soon.
________________________________________________________________________
Dinner was a somber affair. Sam and Cassie picked at their food; Daniel threw chips to the birds while Teal'c watched as Jack stayed at the grill.
Jacob and Hammond watched everyone and couldn't think of a way to cheer them. They exchanged looks and ate their dinner in silence.
Siler and Davis also watched everyone. They sat in a couple of lounge chairs on the lawn away from the rest of them. Davis finally spoke. "Hey, Siler, does this seem a lot more low key this year than it was last year? I mean, no one is eating or really drinking like they did last year."
Siler nodded. "Yeah, I know what you're saying. And I was really looking forward to Dr. Jackson getting drunk again this year and seeing what crazy and funny things he would do this time around."
Davis chuckled. "I know what you mean. Maybe we should leave and head over to Graham's party. He's supposed to have enough fireworks for everyone who was invited. I feel like being around happy people right now."
Siler looked back at the somber group. "I don't really think anyone would notice if we left. They all seem to be in their own little worlds anyhow. Come on, if we leave now we might make it before dark."
They stood and took their plates into the house. They cleaned up their messes and collected their things before quietly slipping out the front door.
No one heard them or noticed them leaving, and no one heard the engine start as they drove away.
________________________________________________________________________
Sam just couldn't seem to eat anything. It just felt wrong to be here without Janet. She stood up and carried her plate inside.
Jack watched her go inside, so he followed her. He didn't find her in the kitchen, so he looked in the living room. There he found her sitting on the sofa. He sat down next to her.
She leaned into him and he put his arm around her. "I'm sorry, Jack. I'm just not in the celebrating mood."
He pulled her closer. "I know. It's okay. I only wish I could do something to make you feel better." He told her.
"You know the last time I got to sit down and talk to her, she told me that I needed to tell you how I feel. I told her that I was seeing Pete but she kept after me, asking me if I loved him. I told her that I didn't know. Then she asked me if I even felt for him as much as I feel for you." She said looking up at him.
"What did you tell her?" He asked, curiously.
She grabbed his hand. "I told her no I didn't. I couldn't feel for him or anyone the way I feel about you. She knew it long before I did. She told me to get rid of Pete before it's too late and I lose you forever. Jack, I miss her so much."
He pulled her back into his arms. "Shh, I've got you." He rocked her as he held her.
_______________________________________________________________________
Daniel looked around the back yard. "Hey where did Davis and Siler go?" He asked.
"They left about an hour ago, and Sam and Jack went into the house about 30 minutes ago." Jacob said.
Hammond and Jacob exchanged looks and then they headed for the house. They found Sam and Jack on the sofa; she was still in his arms crying.
Jacob went over and sat next to Sam on the sofa, while Hammond chose to sit in one of the chairs, the both of them looking at her with obvious concern. She didn't even look up when Jacob sat down next to her.
Jacob put his hand on her back. "Sammie, honey, are you okay?" He asked as he rubbed her back like he used to do when she was a kid.
She sat up and looked at him. "No, Dad. I'm not okay. My best friend, who should be here celebrating with us, is dead. Her daughter is in the back yard mourning her second mother's death. I'm getting tired of fighting something that we aren't going to win." She leaned back against Jack, but kept looking at her father.
Jacob looked at them. "George, is there any way that we can get permission to move this little get together to the cemetery?"
Jack and Sam sat up. "Can we really do that?" She asked hopeful.
Hammond smiled at her. "I might be able to pull some strings and get us permission. Why don't you go out and help them pack up some food. Oh, and don't forget to bring a couple of blankets to sit on. I'll make some calls."
Jacob watched them leave the house. "I hope this works. She really deserves some happiness in her life. I hate seeing her so sad."
________________________________________________________________________
Jack and Sam walked out of the house. "Okay, campers, let's get this food packed up and loaded in my truck. We're moving this shindig." He called out.
Daniel turned towards him. "Where are we moving it to?"
"Well, Hammond is on the phone right now getting us permission to spend the rest of the day with Janet. We're gonna move over to the cemetery." He told them.
Cassie stood and moved over to Sam. "Do you think he'll get permission to do it?" She was starting to look a little happier.
"He'll try, Cass." She replied.
They packed everything up and put it in Jack's truck. Once it was all ready to go, they went back into the house to check on Hammond and Jacob.
"Everything is all set. It's a go. We can stay there as long as we want." Hammond told them.
Jack smiled. "Got the President involved, huh?" He asked.
Jacob laughed. "How did you know that?" Then everyone laughed.
They all filed out and into the cars. Daniel and Teal'c went with Jacob and Hammond, while Cassie and Sam went with Jack. Sam sat in between Jack and Cassie.
Sam leaned her head on Jack's shoulder and he put an arm around her, holding her close. None of this escaped Cassie's notice. She pretended not to notice, but she smiled anyway.
Sam put an arm across Jack's stomach and held him, turning her body slightly towards him. His presence was very comforting, so much more than Pete's had been. She should have realized this before she got involved with the wrong guy. She not only hurt Pete, but Jack too.
Jack saw the smile on Cassie's face. "What?" He asked her.
She tried to look innocent. "Nothing."
"Don't give me that, kiddo. I saw the smile. What's up with that?" He asked again.
"I'm just wondering if this means that you and Sam have gotten together now. So, are you?" She asked him hopefully.
Sam sat up and looked at her. "We haven't had the chance to really talk about it yet. So, could keep this quiet right now. Please, Cass?" Sam pleaded.
Cassie hugged her. "Of course I will, Sam. I love you both so much. I just want you to be happy."
"Thanks, Cass, we want that too. And we love you too, kiddo." Jack told her.
"Mom would have been so happy to know that you finally got together." Her smile vanished. "I wish she could have been here to see you together. She loved you both so much." The tears were forming in her eyes again.
Sam pulled her into a hug again. "We loved her too, honey." She said, tears in her eyes too.
By this time they had reached the cemetery. Jack pulled up behind Hammond and shut off the engine. Everyone started getting out and unpacked the truck.
Sam grabbed a blanket and started walking over to Janet's grave. She set it out under the tree next to Janet's headstone. She sat on the blanket and touched her grave. "Hey, Janet. Happy Independence Day." She whispered.
Cassie sat next to her. "I wish we would have thought to bring her flowers." She said.
They both watched the men bring the food and sodas over and join them on the blanket. Jack sat behind Sam and leaned against the tree. Daniel sat next to Cassie while Teal'c sat across from them. Hammond and Jacob brought over a couple of umbrella chairs and sat on them.
They were pretty quiet as they passed the food around and made themselves eat. This time they all ate because they were hungry.
By the time they finished eating, the fireworks show had started. Cassie had laid down in Sam's lap to watch the sky.
Daniel watched as Sam brushed Cassie's hair back with her hand. He smiled at the picture they made.
"You know, the last time I was in the infirmary was when Sam was being chased by that Super Soldier. Or Kell Warrior wasn't it? I kept telling Janet that I was fine and that I wanted to get up and go find you. She threatened me with a big needle if I didn't get some rest," He chuckled. "I could tell that she was just as worried about you as I was."
Sam smiled. "She wouldn't let me out of her sight that whole night I came back. She even threatened me with sedation if I gave her anymore trouble. Then she sat with me all night after you had to leave, Dad. She held me as I cried, and tried to calm me down when I said that I felt like I had seen you for the last time." She wiped the tears that were forming.
Cassie nodded. "I remember that. She had Daniel pick me up from school and stay with me all night cause she was gonna stay on base to keep an eye on you."
Daniel smiled. "I told Cassie what had happened and why Janet wanted to stay, and I got my ass reamed by her the next day. She was pissed because I worried Cassie for no good reason."
"Dr. Fraiser was very protective of Cassandra Fraiser." Teal'c spoke for the first time in over an hour.
Hammond agreed. "She was very protective of all of you. There were many times the two of us would sit together waiting to hear news on you. I got to know her very well during the last seven years. She was a remarkable woman."
Jack, who had been quiet since arriving, sat up. "Visits to the infirmary haven't been the same either. I may have joked about her being a Napoleonic power monger, but I'd give almost anything to have her back again and sticking me with her needles," he said.
Sam leaned back on Jack. "I just want to wake up and find that it's all been a dream. Janet was a wonderful person and she didn't deserve to die like this. She should have been here for Cassie's graduation, and should be here for her wedding."
Jack pulled her back into his arms. "It's okay."
"No, it's not. She should be here with us. We should all be back at your house celebrating and watching the fireworks with Janet there." She ignored the tears now.
Cassie sat up and crawled over to her, throwing her arms around Sam. "It's okay, Sam. Please don't cry. Mom wouldn't want you to feel this way. She'd want you to be happy."
"She's right, Sam. Janet would haunt you if she knew that you weren't happy, but were feeling guilty about her death." Daniel told her.
Sam wiped at her tears. "I don't know if I could be happy. I lost the best friend I have ever had to this damn war. I work at a job that I love, but never know if I'm gonna come back from a mission. I never know if I'm ever gonna see my loved ones from day to day, but I can't give it up until the threat is gone. I just broke up with the only real boyfriend I've had in the last 8 years because he's not the man I love." She stopped then, realizing what she had just said. She buried her face in Jack's shoulder.
Hammond and Jacob exchanged looks, and then Jacob spoke. "Daniel, can you and Teal'c start packing up Jack's truck? Cassie, can you do me a favor and go get the envelope from the front seat of the car?"
They started packing everything up and all three of them walked to the cars together. As soon as they were out of sight, Jacob got down to business. "Okay, you two. I made a phone call today and called in a really big marker."
Sam looked at him confused. "Dad, what are you talking about?" She asked.
"I'm trying to tell you, so give me a sec here. You both have been responsible for saving the world numerous times. You never ask for anything in return, you never ask for anything personal. So, I asked for you. I called the President and asked him what it would take for two officers to be together. He said that they couldn't be in the same chain of command for one, but I already knew that." He explained.
"Jacob, what are you getting at?" Jack asked.
He held up his hand. "Well, as soon as George signs this piece of paper that Cassie is bringing from the car, then Sam will no longer be under his or your command."
"WHAT?" They asked in unison.
Hammond spoke before Jacob could. "Before either of you say anything, hear him out. He's doing this for your future happiness."
"Thanks, George. Okay, Sam would be under the command of General Meadows at the Pentagon. He will write all of your reviews and your promotions. You are on loan to the SGC and will still go through the Stargate as a part of SG-1," Jacob finished.
Hammond picked up his drink. "Before I sign it, I need to know what you both want me to do. Do you want to change the status of Sam's command and be together? Or do you want to stay as is, and try and wait out this war?"
Jack looked at Sam. "What do you think? It's totally up to you, Sam."
She looked from Jack to Hammond. "There's no chance that he'll try and transfer me away from the SGC? Everything will remain the same on the team?" She asked hopefully.
"As long as you keep it professional at work, you can have a personal life together at home. Everything will remain the same on the team. Well, almost everything. All of your reports will be sent to the Pentagon to be signed from now on. He also can't transfer you because the President and Joint Chiefs won't let him. So, do I sign the papers or not?" He asked.
All three men looked at her, but she only looked at Jack's anxious face. "I say, how soon do the orders take effect?"
Hammond chuckled. "Is now too soon?"
Jack pulled her into a hug and the he kissed her. She kissed him back and held him tight.
Cassie, Daniel, and Teal'c were just getting near when they saw Jack kissing Sam. "Hey, what's going on here?" Daniel asked.
Jack got up and held out his hand to Cassie. "Can I have that, please?" He asked.
She handed him the envelope and watched him shove it at Hammond. He took it out and signed it.
"What is it?" She asked.
Hammond signed it as Jacob explained everything to them. Cassie cheered and Daniel slapped Teal'c on the back with a grin on his face. Teal'c raised an eyebrow and smiled.
Sam and Jack were too busy kissing each other to notice anyone else around them, until Cassie asked, "So, when is the wedding?"
Everyone laughed and hugged each other.
Cassie went over to Janet's grave and whispered. "You did it, Mom. They're together now." She blew a kiss to her mother's grave, then turned back to watch her friends happiness…for all to see.
The End
Story Notes: FEEDBACK: Would be welcomed, but not mandatory.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I wanted my turn at saying good-bye to Janet. Thanks to my beta readers, Suz Whitmarsh and Tiffany Flowers for their help with this. Extra thanks to Tiffany for writing the letter from Janet, as I got writer's block and called her, asking for her help.
Copyright 2004, Trisha Steere
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I wanted my turn at saying good-bye to Janet. Thanks to my beta readers, Suz Whitmarsh and Tiffany Flowers for their help with this. Extra thanks to Tiffany for writing the letter from Janet, as I got writer's block and called her, asking for her help.
Copyright 2004, Trisha Steere
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]