Touching on the Truth
**
You stalk around the small room for about the fifth time in probably as many minutes, no longer really expecting to find an escape route that you didn't find in the past day or so - or has it been even longer than that? - but needing to do something besides just sitting here. That, and you hope the exercise will warm you up a little because for some reason you're really, really cold.
"Carter," a voice complains from behind you, his words echoing slightly in the bare room, "would you sit down? You're making me restless just watching you."
You suppress a sigh and turn toward your commanding officer. "Yes sir," you mutter as you lean against the wall and slide down until you're sitting next to the general, knees drawn up to your chest and your arms wrapped around your legs, huddling into as small a ball as possible in the hopes you'll feel warmer.
The silence is broken by General O'Neill. "I wonder where Teal'c and Daniel are," he muses aloud. It's not by any means the first time he's said this and so you say nothing, instead shivering violently before trying to huddle into an even smaller ball.
Beside you, the general sighs noisily. "This is what I get for agreeing to go off-world. I could be in my nice, comfortable office, but noooo-" he draws out the word, exaggerating it - also not for the first time, you might add, rolling your eyes - and waves his hand around your cell. "Instead, I get to sit on a cold floor, leaning against a cold wall, and freeze my ass off."
You shiver again - thanks for the reminder, *sir*, you think snippily, but wisely don't say - and he finally seems to notice that perhaps everything is not hunky dory and peachy keen with you. "Hey, Carter, you okay?"
"Fine sir," you tell him through teeth clenched to keep them from chattering. "Just a little cold."
This time he doesn't even hesitate before telling you to "Come here" and shifting closer, wrapping an arm across your shoulders. Every annoying thing he has ever done is instantly forgiven as you burrow into his heat, wondering how he can be so hot when you're so god damned cold. But you don't really care as long as he's sharing that heat with you.
You are both quiet as you sit together on the floor, and it is a comfortable silence. You're not surprised that the general is the first to speak, but his choice of conversation shocks you.
"Will Pete be worried that you're overdue?" he asks, and you can't believe that General O'Neill has actually brought up this topic voluntarily. Pete has not been mentioned by either of you since his ill-fated decision to follow you (you will not call it 'stalking', for your own sanity) on that stake-out several months ago.
You tense, knowing that what you're about to say will lead to a conversation you're not sure you're ready to have, especially when trapped in a room with him. But he's asked and you have to answer. "Probably not, since we broke up."
He jerks against you and you're sure he's about to pull away, but he doesn't. "When?" he demands, and you know that this conversation is going all the way to the end.
"Right after we defeated Anubis," you tell him, very carefully not saying, "Right after you were frozen and I had no idea if we would ever get you back." Your entire life had, for those three months, revolved around finding a way to free him from the Ancient's technology and learning how to restore his brain to normal. You suspect that Pete had already figured out why you always held a part of yourself back from him but were afraid to ask, not ready to face that reality just yet. In either case he hadn't looked surprised when you broke things off, only sad. You still miss him sometimes.
The general is very quiet and you say nothing, waiting for whatever comes next. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asks finally and you nearly snort. Is he serious? You would give him a look of disbelief but you are still comfortably ensconced in his arms and can't be bothered to move. The chill has lessened somewhat and you don't want to start freezing again.
He is waiting and you brace yourself before giving him the answer, not wanting to tell him but knowing he deserves the truth. He'll only keep after you until he gets it all out of you anyway.
"You touch me more," you say, the words coming in a rush and muffled against his jacket. "When you learned that I was dating Pete it was like you weren't afraid to be around me anymore, and you touched me more often. And I liked it. So I didn't tell you that Pete was gone because I didn't want to lose that." You have no doubts that he has touched you more in the past six months than in the past seven years combined, and each small touch has made you feel alive in a way you can't even begin to describe. You were willing to lie to him, to let him think you were still seeing Pete, rather than lose that feeling. You feel guilty for the lie but are just insecure enough about his feelings for you to be afraid of losing that small connection.
You're absolutely positive that he will pull away from you now, incensed at what you've done, and are stunned when instead he pulls you closer. "Sam," he says, and you shiver again, but not from the cold this time. You shift, wrapping an arm across his stomach and hugging him as tight as you possibly can. The obvious affection in his voice makes your chest hurt so much that you're sure your heart's about to explode. You smile against his chest as he leans his cheek against your hair.
You are no longer cold.
--end--
Story Notes: SPOILERS: Chimera, Lost City 2, kinda sorta Death Knell and Heroes 2, general S8 spoilers
My muse wanted to write this story and I wanted to give second person pov a try. Vicki subsequently told me that I must never write like that again. :) In spite of her lack of support she does get kudos for the beta and the brilliant title. Thanks muchly.
EMAIL: the_fourth_dimension@hotmail.com
My muse wanted to write this story and I wanted to give second person pov a try. Vicki subsequently told me that I must never write like that again. :) In spite of her lack of support she does get kudos for the beta and the brilliant title. Thanks muchly.
EMAIL: the_fourth_dimension@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]