Two Words
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Despite everything that I'd "seen" and everything I'd done and the rest I'd been trying to do, I couldn't help it.
One second I was face to… mask… with one of Anubis' drones. A drone that was absolutely hellbent on killing me. Finally achieving his objective, I'd seen the drone raise his arm, I could almost feel the imprint of the aim of the weapon; my own mortality suddenly swinging far away from me. And the next second I was no longer facing the mask. Instead, he was there, *they* were there.
The new power-pack, the second shot, confirmation of the kill, confirmation of safety and nothing… just him.
His voice.
Part of me didn't really hear him, autopilot kept me where I was, giving me a few precious seconds to collect my emotions so that I could behave in a manner befitting an Air Force officer.
But I couldn't.
Not just then. Just a few seconds more then I would be Major Carter again.
Then, as unexpectedly as his timely arrival, I'd felt – rather than seen - him shift, come to rest beside me. And then it happened. He said it.
Those two words that part of me still wonders if I'd heard at all.
So soft, so tempting.
Too tempting.
'Come here'
And I did.
It didn't matter, any of it. Not the promises I'd made, the steps I'd taken to keep those promises, or the road I'd chosen.
At that moment, I didn't care. I was too tired to care, to analyse, to worry. All that mattered is that when the weight of his arm rested on my shoulders I felt his warmth, his strength, his comfort. And I felt better. I felt safe. I felt… more than I should. More than I'd promised myself that I would. In that brief moment, I'd felt his need and I'd let him see my own. Sam let Jack comfort her. And Jack let Sam know…
And now, I'm lying in an infirmary bed, Major Carter trying to assert herself while Sam has just said goodbye to her Dad. Just a few seconds more and would have been ok. But while the tears Sam had tried to hide from her Father are denied release, my attention is once again taken from myself.
"Hey there."
Two words.
Different words, unexpected words, but the tone familiar.
I look up and see his silhouette in the doorway.
"You ok?"
Two more.
Funny, I know exactly what he means and exactly why he's here.
"Dad's gone."
"I heard."
I close my eyes against the fresh wave of emotion. I can't do this, not now. Not here. Not with him. I promised myself.
But despite all my promises, I know I am lying to myself. If I'm going to show this to anyone, it will always be him. That acknowledgement rocks me almost as much as the sense that he has moved, perversely, calms me. I can feel his energy, his presence. Close by, almost too close. And yet, nowhere near close enough.
The tears win the battle with my eyelids and one slides down my cheek. In that moment I know that Major Carter has lost the battle to Sam. That the recent events have proved too much for even Major Carter.
"Here, Carter."
A small infirmary standard tissue is placed gently into my hands. The fact that he's now perched on my very edge of the bed, well… I momentarily forget that just another two words front a wealth of meaning; for us both. This is new. Edges of barriers seem to be blurring with my tears and I suddenly feel that he doesn't care.
"I'm ok."
I attempt to reassure, attempt to be Major Carter. Still uncomfortable with being just Sam with him.
"I know."
Still so soft, so gentle. Too soft, too gentle. Too much like Jack, not enough like Colonel O'Neill.
And then I realise, that right now Sam doesn't *want* Colonel O'Neill. That right now, Sam doesn't care about everything she's said, done, tried to do and promised. Just for this small moment in time, Sam wants Jack.
His perception, though I should know better, surprises me.
His words; more so.
"Come here."
Too soft, too gentle. Too full of promises I'd tried to deny.
So I lean forward, into both of his waiting arms and allow Sam to absorb Jack's comfort, just for a moment.
And I realise again, in just two words I feel… better.
The End.
Story Notes: This one is the result of Death Knell and the subsequent war between Fic!Muse and Icon!Muse. Fic!Muse, who apparently plays dirty, won.
Thanks to LM for reading it through!
lindsaymallen@yahoo.com
Two Words: Copyright to Lindsay Allen, January 2004.
Thanks to LM for reading it through!
lindsaymallen@yahoo.com
Two Words: Copyright to Lindsay Allen, January 2004.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]