Unguarded Moment
It's hard for all of us.
It's hardest for the Colonel.
He has to stand beside the man who was her husband and resist the urge to kill the sonuvabitch with his bare hands. To break his neck the way he should have before the other man bashed her to death and went out for another drink.
That's not what the autopsy said, of course. Captain Samantha Carter-Hanson fell down the stairs and broke her neck.
I saw the body. I demanded to see it in my capacity as Chief Medical Officer of the StarGate Project. No woman ever broke her neck, her arm, her femur, and suffered bruising to the ribs and hips, and lacerations to the back from falling down stairs. One shoulder was dislocated, her left cheekbone was smashed.
Fell down the stairs? Yeah, right.
I catalogued the injuries in my mind, one by one, as a last gift to Sam. The morgue has the photos, and I have the knowledge of what was done to her, even if I wouldn't tell any of the others. Maybe someday when he does a repeat performance on another woman, he won't have the Judge Advocate General on his paylist.
Why the hell didn't you get out of there, Sam? We tried to get you out before he killed you and you wouldn't listen to any of us. Not me, not Daniel, not Teal'c, not the General, or even the Colonel. We argued and pleaded and begged, but you stayed with him. You stayed with him for love, you said.
I find that hard to believe. No woman loves a man who treats her like shit. And you were always the strongest woman I knew. What did he hold over you, Sam? What was the bastard holding over you like a whip? There must have been something, and if you'd only let us know.
The bugles call, the rifles fire, and the Colonel stiffens as if he's been shot through the heart, while Hanson stands as if he's on parade.
Dammit Sam. Did you ever look beyond the man you loved to the man who loved you? Even just recognition or acknowledgement of his friendship? Or did you only see Hanson with his brute charm and animal magnetism?
Six lieutenants take the flag from her coffin. In ritualistically slow movements, they fold it, fold it, fold it. Compacting her life, her energy, her brilliance into the flag of the country she served.
Folding it into a bundle that represents all Sam was. And handing it to the person whom she loved the most.
The man who killed her.
The man who loved her most stands rigid as they offer the flag to the man beside him. But his fingers twitch, yearning for the recognition that he meant something to her. Something more than commanding officer and friend.
He'll never have it.
Hanson takes the flag and folds his arms around it, pressing it to his heart. Beside me, Daniel takes a long, shuddering breath of pain. We all know Hanson never loved her. He just owned her.
God only knows how the Colonel is coping.
Later, he stands away from the people who close in to offer their condolences to the widower. Quietly watching from one side, talking with those who'll dare to approach him, accepting the expressions of grief from those who truly mean it - the people who loved her.
"How is he?" I ask Daniel as we walk away from the crowds.
The archaeologist shrugs, "He's Jack." He looks over to his friend, "Teal'c and I and the General are going around to his place afterwards. It's probably not a good idea to leave him alone right now."
"Or maybe it is," I murmur. "He won't let anything out with other people around." The Colonel plays his emotions like he plays his cards at poker: close to the chest.
"He won't do anything stupid with other people around." Daniel mutters. "Are you coming?"
I nod. "Later. I have to pass by the solicitor's office. Sam left me something."
"A million dollars?"
"I'd prefer a statement saying Hanson was beating her up on a regular basis signed by a QC and with God himself as the witness," I say grimly.
"Oh, that'd do me as well," he growls. The smile he gives me is faintly bitter. "Come around when you finish up, okay?"
"I will."
It's nearly an hour later before I get away. SG-1 - what's left of them - and the General and a few others from the SGC have already gone to Jack's. I go in to the legal chambers, and am given an envelope. Slim, flexible, but with the springy resistance that tells me there's at least one photo in there.
Back in the car, I slide my thumbnail under the flap and rip the envelope open. Curiosity overcomes neatness at times like these.
There's only two things in the envelope. A short note in Sam's neat handwriting, and a photo folded up in paper.
I open the note first. Dated nine months ago, it's short and to the point.
I can't keep this at home, Janet, but I can't destroy it. And I can't let anyone see this, either. Please take care of it. Sam.
Carefully, I unfold the paper around the photo, and stare at the revealed image with a sudden ache in my heart.
It's a picture of SG-1.
On a planet where they camped for the night and someone - probably the Colonel - insisted on having a picture taken with all four of them in it. This photo appears to be the 'premature take'. The sky behind them is alight with sunset, and the Colonel has turned his head to make a comment to Teal'c on the other side of the photo. Daniel is rubbing his eyes before he puts his glasses back on. Sam's looking up at her CO.
It's an unguarded moment, frozen in time.
She never let her guard down with anyone. Not even me, her best girlfriend.
She let it down this once, and the camera snapped and caught her with the most naked expression I've ever seen on her face.
I stay with him for love, she told me, just once.
I begin to shake.
She never said for love of whom.
A woman will do a lot of things to protect the man she loves. Some of them unthinkable to the man she's trying to protect. And Sam bought her commanding officer's safety from her husband's poisonous influence with her bruises and her silence and her self-respect and her life.
Oh God, Sam.
a.. FEEEEEEED ME! OH, FEEEEEEEEEEED ME! SelDear@bigpond.com
Story Notes: SPOILERS: None
SEASON/SEQUEL INFO: It's an AU - there is no season!
SERIES: Veils of Reality
CONTENT WARNING: character death, domestic violence, S/J, S-other
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is part of a set of S/J AU sketches I'm entitling "Veils of Reality" - this one developed from two separate sketches I was writing, but the resultant effect of this one is much better than the others I sacrificed. Thanks to jenni for beta-ing! J And to Unicorn, Kristie, and Mistress Tanith who feedbacked me first - it meant HEAPS, girls!
SEASON/SEQUEL INFO: It's an AU - there is no season!
SERIES: Veils of Reality
CONTENT WARNING: character death, domestic violence, S/J, S-other
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is part of a set of S/J AU sketches I'm entitling "Veils of Reality" - this one developed from two separate sketches I was writing, but the resultant effect of this one is much better than the others I sacrificed. Thanks to jenni for beta-ing! J And to Unicorn, Kristie, and Mistress Tanith who feedbacked me first - it meant HEAPS, girls!
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]