Sam couldn't believe the Colonel had retired.
She'd really thought some future version of Daniel Jackson would dig the man's bones from the ruins of the SGC. Seems she had been wrong.......about so many things. If she was honest with herself, Sam knew the Colonel hadn't been himself since returning from Edora. She supposed he had been pining for the wide open spaces, fishing...and Laira. Despite the fact she wasn't supposed to have feelings for her commanding officer, Sam couldn't fight back the wave of pain the name evoked. Sometimes she wondered if she shouldn't have just left the Colonel there.....but no. Even knowing what she did, Sam realised abandoning him would never have been an option. No one gets left behind...wasn't that what the Colonel always said? She would have worked her butt off for Daniel or Teal'c, at least they would have been grateful.
But the Colonel had seemed happy to be home. When they got back through the 'gate he'd been a little quiet for sure, but he'd certainly appreciated the trip out to O'Malleys. By the end of the evening he'd been laughing and joking as usual. They'd been on a couple of missions since and nothing had seemed out of place...until Tollana. Despite the Colonel's words, Sam knew he wasn't the type of guy to steal alien technology. Not even if his orders came from where the air was very very thin. So what the hell was his problem?
Sam had initially been glad that Daniel had been the one to confront him. She hadn't wanted to, not after his last words to her. 'I haven't been acting like myself since I met you...now I'm acting like myself.' What was that supposed to mean? Maybe he'd been trying to live up to what he supposed was her ideal...but that didn't seem like the Colonel. He wasn't the kind of person who cared about what others thought....the hats he wore off duty being a case in point. Anyway, what did he really think she wanted from a man....a commanding officer. She certainly didn't expect him to be a saint.
And what did it mean for them now he was retired? Now he was...for want of a better word....free? Despite all that had happened, Sam couldn't help feeling something. He wasn't her commanding officer anymore, which meant...? She didn't know. If he received her in the same way he had received Daniel, she knew she'd be out of that door faster than he could snap his fingers. On the other hand, if he wanted something to happen, Sam wasn't adverse to the idea.
She debated with herself for a long time before she went to see him. It was a few days after Daniel's visit. Sam figured she'd give him a couple of days to cool off. She dropped round in the late evening, thinking they could maybe go out and grab something to eat....in her mind's eye she saw him falling into her arms....even thought she knew he was more likely to slam the door in her face. Despite outward appearances, Sam did have a romantic streak. She made up a happy little fantasy as she drove to his house. It was very believable, and gave her the courage to get out of her car and ring the doorbell.
The Colonel wasn't exactly pleased to see her. But Sam saw a flash of something in his eyes...it was the only reason she didn't turn tail and run.
"What do I owe the pleasure?" he asked.
He was clasping a beer bottle in his hand, Sam found herself wondering how much he was drinking. Yet he didn't seem drunk. His eyes remained steady.
"When can I expect the visit from Teal'c?" he went on.
Sam shrugged,
"I don't know...the others don't know I'm here."
"Would they disapprove?"
"Probably, but you know me, sir....."
She tried to laugh, but the sound died in her throat. If she didn't know better, the Colonel looked scared. He may have been able to shield his emotions from everyone else, but Sam thought she knew him better than most. His eyes always gave him away. They went flat and dead every time he was trying to shield emotion.
"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked.
It was the Colonel's turn to laugh.
"Why do people keep asking me that?"
"I don't know, why don't you tell me?"
Unwillingly, he stepped back and led her inside the house.
****************************************************************************
Carter, why did it have to be Carter?
Jack couldn't help the unpleasant squirming in his guts. He felt like he had half a dozen Goa'uld down there. He really didn't want to fight with her. Seeing the hurt look in Daniel's eyes had been enough. What if he made her cry? He'd caused Sam enough pain over the last few months.
"So?" he began.
Hopefully, she'd say her piece and then go. With Maybourne's boys watching the house, Jack knew how it would look if she stayed too long. He wasn't about to put Sam through that kind of crap.
"Sir...," she began.
"Jack," he corrected her.
"Right....Look, Jack, I don't know why you doing this.....I know what you told Daniel, but frankly that story doesn't hold up."
"It doesn't?"
"No. If you'd wanted to command a base you would have General Hammond's job by now. You're a field officer and you know it."
"Whatever you say."
"I didn't come here to argue with you. I was hoping we could still be friends."
That he hadn't expected. After everything he'd done, Sam still wanted to be friends with him? Was she nuts? Then again, if she'd put up with Jonas Hanson for as long as she had, Jack figured it would take a lot to push her away. He was really going to have to hurt her badly. Taking this mission had been a mistake...a big one. This was the last time....the very last time he was doing something like this. The Tollan...the Asguard, the Nox, they thought themselves so damn smart.....but it wasn't their butts on the line. They didn't have to get their hands dirty. Why should they care about the people he considered as friends?
"Jack?" Sam questioned.
"Never mind."
She stepped a little closer to him and, to Jack's surprise, took the beer bottle from his fingers. Now he was really confused, especially as her hand stayed entwined with his. He knew he should drag himself free, but he didn't seem to be able to move. Time slowed down as she moved closer, tilting her head slightly, Jack was unable to stop himself reciprocating the
motion...their lips met for a brief second and Jack no longer seemed to have control over his body. He pulled Sam into his arms, kissing her for a second time. Her body literally seemed to melt against his. She was giving herself to him, heart and soul.....and Jack felt like a complete bastard when he roughly shoved her away.
Not able to look at her, he stumbled out onto the deck, taking deep breaths of the fresh air as he tried to calm himself down. This was so not fair. Needing to put more distance between them, Jack jogged out into the garden, dropping to a crouch in the middle of the lawn. He knew Sam would follow him, so he wasn't surprised to feel her hand on his shoulder.
"Just go, Sam," he mumbled. "Please."
"What's going on, sir?"
"Leave, now."
He kept his back to her. Staring out into the flower beds. Eventually, he heard her footsteps fading into the distance, the slam of a car door, the roar of an engine...and she was gone. At least he hadn't seen her cry, he thought to himself. He stayed out there for a long time, until the day faded into night. This had to end and it had to end soon, he decided. To hell with waiting any longer. Jack had originally intended to wait a fortnight, but maybe Carter's visit could be seen as a reason to speed things along a little. Going back inside, Jack found Maybourne's business card and picked up the phone.
It didn't take long. Maybourne sounded delighted and promised to be back as soon as he could. It made Jack feel cold to think he was now painted with the same brush as that creep. He found himself wondering how different they really were. What lengths he'd go to for something he believed in? Jack had always thought of himself as a good person, but now he wasn't so sure. He hoped Sam was okay. If everything went according to plan, Jack knew he was
going to have to twist the knife even further. Going back to Edora had seemed a great idea at the time....but it was going to hurt Sam. She wasn't to know it was a necessary evil.
When this was all over, Jack hoped that he and Sam could spend some time together. Who was he kidding? When this was over she'd go back to being his 2IC. Life, in general, sucked. Right now he didn't care about helping his country, his planet. He just wanted to get on the phone and call Sam, explain the reasons he had acted like a complete jerk. Some of the stuff he had said to her had been true. Like the speech about not acting like himself since he had met her.....she had changed him in subtle ways. He had a lot more time for scientists for one thing. And he knew more than he'd ever wanted to about particle physics. Every time she smiled at him, he felt a deep sense of well-being...but he couldn't tell her that, she'd think he was
dumb.
Knowing he wasn't going to sleep that night, Jack made his way onto the roof. It seemed as good a place as any to spend what was, possibly, his last night on Earth. Jack had few illusions about this mission. He knew it could go bad at any time....his one regret was not telling Carter....
****************************************************************************
Someone was watching her. Sam sensed something as soon as she stepped through the Stargate....but this planet was meant to be deserted...wasn't it? Teal'c must have felt it too, because he paused in front of the DHD before following them away from the 'gate.
Sam was struggling slightly, trying to juggle her MP5 and the crate of test equipment. She was all for equality but Colonel O'Neill would not have lumbered his fellow airforce officer with a heavy box. Not when Teal'c could have picked it up in one hand. A slight exaggeration, maybe, but Sam wasn't in a position where she could defend herself or the rest of the team.....Makepeace saw her as a scientist first and a soldier second. A mistake Colonel O'Neill had never made. She should have been grateful her new commanding officer hadn't considered her a burden because she was female.
They had been on a couple of missions since Jack had left, neither of which had been entirely successful. Not from a personnel point of view. Daniel was very resentful of their new team leader, and Sam had found herself running interference between the two of them. Despite appearances, Jack was actually a lot more tolerant than Makepeace, especially when it came to non-airforce personnel. Certainly, you had to earn a certain degree of respect....but that was true for any commanding officer. However, once you had run the gauntlet, so to speak, Colonel O'Neill would pull out his own teeth before letting anyone criticise a member of his team. Sam knew he had probably shielded them all from a great deal of unpleasantness. Especially, Teal'c......Although Hammond had done his best, Sam knew it was Jack's pig headed stubbornness which had stood between Teal'c and a life in Area 51.
As the morning progressed, Sam still couldn't shake the feeling someone else was here. No one was watching them directly, even so.....she would have mentioned it to Colonel Makepeace, but he would have just laughed. He wasn't the kind of man to believe in feelings.....Making her excuses, Sam disappeared into the surrounding undergrowth. She was about due a bathroom break. Moving silently, she hurried back towards the Stargate. This was probably insane. Why would anyone be hanging around in the undergrowth on a deserted planet? It didn't make sense.
Still arguing with herself, Sam entered the clearing in front of the 'gate. She looked around...nothing. Moving towards the DHD, she paused again...as someone took a sharp intake of breath. If this world hadn't been devoid of all animal life, she probably would have missed it....If the wind hadn't chosen that moment to die to stillness.....
There was a large rock, just behind the DHD, large enough to hide behind. Slipping the safety off her MP5, Sam headed towards it. She peaked over the top, to see the last person she'd expected....
"Hi," he said.
"What are you doing here?" she exclaimed.
"Shh....."
"You went to Edora!"
"Carter would you shut up! I don't exactly want to advertise the fact I'm here....okay?"
She looked at him, unable to decide what to do. Theoretically, she should have contacted Colonel Makepeace. There was something very irregular about all this. O'Neill was armed for a start, which he shouldn't have been.
"Carter, please. You have to trust me," he pleaded.
"Why?" Sam demanded, gripping her gun tighter.
"Look, all that stuff I said at my house, none of it was true, okay."
"So?"
"So, Hammond knows I'm here. Just ask him when you get back, but there's something real big going down."
"Big enough you couldn't tell your friends?"
"Yes. And I'm sorry Sam, I really am....for everything."
Sam allowed herself to relax, just a little. She wanted to believe him, she really did.
"Are you coming back?" she asked in a small voice.
"I hope so," he replied, "one day. For what it's worth I didn't spend long on Edora...I didn't even go and see Laira."
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, it does...but I'm still mad at you."
"Really?"
He made puppy dog eyes at her, making Sam smile and then laugh.
"I've gotta get back," she told him. "Please look after yourself, sir."
"I will," he promised.
Raising his hand, he let it rest briefly on her cheek.
"Thanks," he told her. "I can't tell you what this means to me."
Sam nodded, then she really had to go. She had to jog back to their test site, but she did so with a full heart. O'Neill wasn't a traitor. Suddenly, life seemed very good again. Sam didn't even care when Makepeace questioned the length of her disappearance. She just quoted women's problems and watched him turn an interesting shade of green.
Now she had her own dilemma...what to tell the others regarding her conversation with Jack. She'd feel guilty if she told them nothing....on the other hand she couldn't say anything while Makepeace was in hearing distance. She may have trusted Daniel and Teal'c, but her new commanding officer had yet to do anything to earn that honour. It would have to wait until they got back to base.
Oh.....
That kiss....
Was going to take some explaining.
Story Notes: Waiting 3 : SPOILERS: Shades of Grey
SEQUEL: Waiting and Waiting 2: Politics.......I'll Happily send copies to anyone who wants one :):)
SEQUEL: Waiting and Waiting 2: Politics.......I'll Happily send copies to anyone who wants one :):)
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]