He took a detour on the way to his quarters, his secret weighing heavily on his heart. He wanted to tell her, wanted to get it over with so they could enjoy what time they had left together but he couldn't.
Not until he knew there would be someone to catch her when she fell. Someone to put the pieces back together when he was gone.
Preoccupied with concern for his daughter, he didn't knock on the closed door. Jack might be a General and the commander of the SGC but he still considered himself to be Jack's superior.
Even if he was a retired old man for whom time was too quickly running out.
Jacob opened the door and was already stepping over the threshold when he noticed that the man he'd come to see wasn't alone.
Not to mention that Jack and the woman he was with looked suspiciously uncomfortable at the interruption.
"Jacob."
"Jack."
As Jack's gaze flickered between the retired General and the floor, Jacob's wandered over to rest on the brunette standing awkwardly beside the desk.
"And this is..?"
"Agent Kerry Johnson, CIA." She took a step towards him, holding her hand out. Her smile was warm if not a little uncertain as they shook hands. "I've heard a lot about you, General Carter."
Jacob considered returning the sentiment but found he couldn't.
Not without lying. Besides, his mind was still trying to catch up with what was obviously going on.
"I'm going to go now." Kerry removed her hand from his and took two brisk steps towards the door. "Jack, I will see you later."
Jack nodded, his shoulders tense. "You will."
She closed the door behind her, leaving the two men alone in a very small space.
Very small, very confined small space.
Jacob clenched his fists at his sides and wished, not for the first time, that Selmac was still able to guide him. Still there to keep him in check.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Jack?"
The look of surprise might have been amusing under any other circumstances.
It was quickly schooled into a blank, noncommittal expression as Jack took his seat behind his desk. "Nothing that involves you."
He ground his teeth together, his head already beginning to hurt. Jacob wasn't even aware he'd started pacing. There was no little voice in his head to tell him to stop. "You're involved with Ms. Johnson."
"I am."
No denial, no excuses.
Jacob stopped pacing and sighed. If he'd had any hair left, he would have run his hand through it in frustration. "What about Sam?"
"What about her?"
Barely a blink, but the quickest flash of a wince Jacob had ever seen.
"Jack."
The General sitting behind the desk looked up at the pained tone, surprised at the strain on Jacob's face. "She's engaged, Jacob. Happy. Let it go."
Jacob shook his head, clenching and unclenching his fists. "She isn't happy. Not as happy as she could be. *Should* be. Shanahan's a nice enough guy but he's not the one for her."
"I think that's a decision Carter has to make for herself."
"She doesn't think she has a choice." Forcing himself to stand still, Jacob met Jack's eyes evenly, staring at him. Studying him. Seeing the same look in his eyes as he'd seen all too often in his daughters. "She doesn't love him."
"Yes she does." Jack closed his eyes for a split second too long for a normal blink. "She wouldn't have said yes if she didn't."
A half-nod acknowledged the comment, the half-truth in it. "Okay, but she doesn't love him enough. Not to make it work, not to be happy." Jacob clasped his hands in front of him, his knuckles white as he welcomed the pain. "You can't let her go through with it."
"It's not my call."
"It could be."
"It can't be."
It was Jacob's turn to wince, to grimace as he remembered the times he'd repeated those sentiments to Selmac when they'd discussed the situation. When he'd tried to do what he thought was best for his daughter's career.
"You'll regret it if you let her go."
A small, sad smile played on Jack's lips, shadows dancing in his eyes. "You'll regret it if you don't."
Silence.
Jacob swallowed the lump in his throat. Turned and faced the door. "I don't have a choice. You do."
He left before the General could say anything else.
Suddenly feeling as tired as he'd led his daughter to believe.
=*=
The conversation made more sense to him now. Jacob's insistence, his stubbornness. The unnecessary dig about Carter shopping for flowers for her wedding in the briefing room.
It made sense.
Jacob hadn't wanted to hurt his daughter but Jack understood now. It was his attempt at banging their heads together, metaphorically speaking.
To make them both see that it wasn't what they wanted before he died.
"You should have told us."
He couldn't keep the accusation from his voice. Thankfully Carter wasn't sitting in the observation room watching. He'd made sure of that before venturing to the infirmary himself.
"I thought it could wait."
"You thought wrong."
"I know."
They looked at each other, two men with a lot of differences. With something more than just the Air Force and their ranks in common.
Jack ran one hand through his hair, his other clenched. "I don't know how to help her through this. Don't know if she'll let me."
"Just be there." The smile was weak, but understanding was clear in his eyes. "She'll need you. No one else."
"I'll be there."
"Always?"
There was a question in his voice, in his eyes. One he wouldn't ask but one they both knew was related to the scene he'd interrupted just twenty-four hours before.
"Always."
"Good."
Jacob let his eyes close, let go of the worry that Sam would be alone.
Or would be with someone who wouldn't understand.
"Damn it, Jacob. Are you sure there's nothing they can do..?"
The anguish had him opening his eyes. Jacob was surprised to see the pained look return to Jack's eyes - and to know it was he who caused it.
"It's my fault. I waited too long. Made Selmac wait." He made a weak attempt at shrugging. "The only way to live would have been to take another symbiote. I couldn't do it, Jack. Didn't want to. I don't.." He sighed, his eyes dim. "I don't trust them."
"Well, we have that in common at least."
"We have something else, too."
Jacob shifted, grimacing as his tired limbs protested. He wasn't scared of dying this time, not like he had been the first. It was just frustrating when his body wouldn't cooperate. When his brain still whirled, still as sharp as ever. His fingers fumbled with the drawer of the cabinet beside his bed but he endured with the task, satisfaction running through him as they wrapped around the envelope and withdrew it from the drawer.
Aware of Jack's eyes on him, Jacob tipped the unsealed envelope upside down and shook it gently. Two envelopes and a small cloth-wrapped item fell to rest on the bed.
One envelope had the name 'Mark' scrawled across it.
The other had the name 'Sam'.
Jacob picked up both and held them out to Jack, his eyes sombre. "I want you to give them these. After the.. After my funeral."
The bobbing of his Adams apple was the only sign of Jack's discomfort. He took them from the old man's hand and nodded his agreement.
One matter taken care of, Jacob returned his attention to the small bundle. He picked it up and his fingers closed around it.
Held it tightly.
He looked up with bright eyes and opened his hand so that the item rested on his palm.
His gaze never leaving Jack's face, he held it out to him.
"What is it?"
"Something you'll need. Eventually." Jacob moved his hand closer to him, mildly amused by the expression on his face but refusing to let his amusement defuse the situation. "It was her mothers. Sam doesn't know I have it. She thought it went to her mother's sister but I kept it. Her Mom wanted me to keep it. To pass it on."
"Jacob.."
"Take it, Jack. The one she has now isn't enough. It'll never be enough."
Jack nodded, taking the item carefully.
Slipping it into his pocket with the envelopes as Carter walked into the infirmary, her pace slowing and eyes widening at the sight of him beside her father's bed.
"Sir."
"Carter." He fingered the cloth in his pocket, glancing briefly at Jacob's face, at the closed eyes and almost serene expression the older man wore before turning towards her and the door. "Just thought I'd come and talk to Dad."
Jacob's eyes opened, a small smile on his lips.
Sam glanced between the two of them, an expression Jack couldn't decipher on her face. She gave her father a discreet nod and closed the distance between them, taking up her position on the opposite side of the bed.
Jack watched her hand close around Jacob's. Watched her father still her trembling fingers.
"The Tok'ra are on their way," she murmured, her gaze averted to the man on the bed. "They'll be here soon."
"Okay." Jacob gave her fingers a quick squeeze. "Jack. Thank you."
"Not necessary." He ignored the confused look on Sam's face and took a step away from the bed. "I'll go.." 'Give you time to say goodbye'.. "wait for the Tok'ra."
He walked to the door, pausing over the threshold.
Looked back and saw father and daughter embracing for the last time.
=*=
He sat in the observation room and watched the final exchange between Jacob and Sam Carter. Lip read the words "I love you" and saw the first tear escape from Carter's eyes as she fought the others back.
He wanted to go to her, to take her in his arms and soothe her with platitudes he knew weren't always true but he didn't.
Couldn't.
It wasn't the right time.
He thought back to the envelopes in the top drawer of his desk, to the small cloth-wrapped bundle safely stored in his pocket.
To the small hand written note folded neatly instead it, accompanying the ring.
'Take care of her.'
One last request made by a man he respected and admired.
One last promise he swore to keep.
=*=
Loose Ends by Jo R
Story Notes: Author's Notes: First section set after the mess hall scene with Sam and Jacob, second section is set after the scene in Jack's office with Kerry but before the infirmary scene with Sam and Jack. There may be a sequel of sorts.
Love, hugs and sniffles to Fairygnomes for the beta advice.
*Hugs* to the Hussys, those present in person and those present through the phone for the moral support.
Love, hugs and sniffles to Fairygnomes for the beta advice.
*Hugs* to the Hussys, those present in person and those present through the phone for the moral support.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]