It was an image of Colonel O'Neill that I knew would remain with me for many years to come, if not for ever. It was a very warm autumn evening, and he was standing on the threshold of house and deck, the french windows wide open, letting the slight breeze wash over him.
He was dressed only in loose, burgundy boxers, and an old North Stars grey T-shirt, the logo and writing long ago faded. His hair was in complete disarray, pointing in every direction possible, and his eyes twinkled in the dim light as he stared almost absently up at the stars, lost in thought. I smiled from my vantage point beside the couch, thinking that he'd look so
mysterious, alluring and bewitching right now in the light of the stars, if he didn't have one hand jammed deep in a box of kids cereal. He seemed to remember what he was doing then, and the moment was spoiled by the sounds of his fingers scrabbling about in the bottom of the nearly empty packet of sugary, sickly kids food, looking for those last stray unclaimed morsels.
He shook the box, once, twice, before lifting it to peer inside. Satisfied there was food still to be had, he inserted both arms up to the elbow, jiggled the box from side to side, and eventually brought out a heaped handful of colourful sugary balls, leaving his other hand inside the now distorted box. He carefully surveyed the precarious mountain, and looked around for somewhere to dump the box. Finding his hand stuck, he shrugged and quickly slapped the handful of food against his mouth, hoping to catch it all. He almost succeeded, but I must admit the sight of him desperately trying to shuffle all the cereal into his mouth before it fell was not the most attractive display I'd ever seen. He repeated this whole procedure several times, and I don't think I've seen the man exert the level of concentration and determination he applied to this task in any aspect of his working life. Well, you know what they say about men and food. Finally he was reduced to licking the last remnants of flavoured powder from his fingers, and I decided it was time to step into the light.
"I think it's finished"
He spun on the balls of his feet, one entire arm still in the now misshapen box, and smiled sheepishly. I grinned and stepped closer.
"Needed a sugar fix" He explained, and I smiled and walked over. I pulled the box from his limp hand, and he simply watched as I surveyed the name and fat/sugar contents of the cereal.
"And won't your bear be missing you?" I added cheekily, waggling my eyebrows in the way he so often does. This time he scowled at me, and I could tell he already regretted letting me into the secret of the teddy bear he keeps hidden in the bottom of his closet. A bear he's had since he was six years old, a bear that went onto being his son's bear for a number of years: a bear that's still much loved. In point of fact he told me he takes that bear out every time we foil death, and gives it a great big hug. It was a dare we had for him to tell me, and he only did because I told him a similar pathetic story, and promised I'd treat his with the same amount of decorum he showed at mine.
I didn't.
I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. Poor man is starting to regret trusting me, and probably regretting the promise he made to me about the toy after I stopped laughing...but a bear in his closet! Still he quickly shook off any embarrassment and stepped closer, indicating the box with one hand.
"Try it...you'll like it" He said, sounding a little distracted, and I peered inside, and finding nothing I shook the box, and it sounded just as empty as it looked.
"I think you did a pretty good job of 'trying' it all by yourself" I returned, handing the box back, and he grinned, before letting his eyes drop. I took a slow, deep breath as he let his eyes trail over my body. I was wearing much the same as him, shorts and a USAF T-Shirt, but he seemed to approve of my attire, or the vast expanse of legs it revealed, I'm not sure which.
"There's still flavour" He said in a rush, brandishing the box back at me, and I smiled at his childish voice and demeanor and took the box. The Colonel watched with rapt attention as I found the bottom of the box with my fingertips, and when I found the corner, sure enough I came into contact with a heap of 'flavour'. I managed to coat my fingers a little, but when I withdrew them I found I'd managed to secure only a little powder. The Colonel took a step forward, mouth open, finger up, ready to deliver some advice, but I knew what I was doing. I was a kid once too. Smiling, I took my index finger into my mouth, and closed my lips on it, slowly withdrawing it. This action was carried out in all innocence, doing just what he was before, but when my eyes flicked to him, I realised he had stopped breathing.
Suddenly he was standing ramrod straight, hands lax by his sides. His eyes were wide, mouth slightly open, and his gaze was fixed on my finger. It is so easy to captivate this man if you know what to do...or if you happen to be a foodstuff. Or a hockey game. Or sports in general. Or cartoons. Or...well you get the picture. So I slowed my actions, pulling my now wet finger slowly from my lips, looking up at him through my hair. Men like it when you look up at them through your hair, and I know he loves it. Still...I know I really shouldn't have teased him like that, it's not fair.
I quickly polished off the powder on my finger, and walked to the kitchen to drop the empty box in the trash. Yawning I turned to head back to the living room, but a dark silhouette was stood in the doorway, and all I could see was a pair of dark, glittering eyes.
"Oh" I said, the exclamation escaping my lips as I saw him, both hands braced on the doorframe.
"Ya done with midnight snacks, or ya looking for something else tasty?" He asked me, voice low, trace of a twisted smile visible on what I could discern of his face. What could I say to that? It was obvious he wasn't talking about food. I smiled, took a step forward, and he simply stood there, looming in the doorway, leaning forward, eyes on my lips as I took another step closer, and smiling up into his dark eyes, I spoke.
"Do you have anything that tastes...sweet?"
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So that's the position I was in, not half an hour ago. Now I lie here, in this vast comfortable bed, with my arms flung up behind me, just enjoying the sensation, feeling comfortable, relaxed, and yet...
Well. Let's just say I can imagine feeling a little better. Not that I'm not feeling good, and happy, it's just...I turn onto my side and sigh, and warm brown eyes meet mine. I smile, seeing myself reflected there, and pull him over for a cuddle. He's soft and warm and seems to fit perfectly against me. Smiling again I kiss his nose, then we both settle down for the night. Oh wait...I have a little unfinished business...
Sitting up I reached to the night stand for the last bite of my double choc chip cookie and sigh. Well...it *is* sweet, but let's just say it wasn't the first thing that sprang to mind. Still...this is the only option I'm allowed I suppose, even if the Colonel had offered me anything else.
I turn onto my front, smiling at the figure beside me in the bed, and remember when the Colonel finally broke the silence in the kitchen after I asked him for something sweet. The moment was long, and I don't think I've ever looked into his eyes for as long a time as I did then, but finally our eyes dropped at the same time, and as the tension ebbed away he brushed a hand over his tired eyes and smiled, holding out his hand.
"Come on, let's go back to bed"
"Okay, you've persuaded me"
He took my hand and tugged on it and we passed through his living room and trotted up the stairs. We walked leisurely towards his bedroom door, then he stopped, faced me, and quickly kissed my hand. The gesture was so sweet, so unexpected, that I stared at him, and he quickly looked embarrassed.
"Uh...sleep well" He mumbled, taking a step back, and I reached out a finger to stroke his cheek, smiling when his eyes widened, before he quickly adapted and leaned into my hand. He smiled, and I turned and opened the door to his spare room.
"Goodnight sir"
"Goodnight Carter"
With that I stepped through, and offered him a brief wave at the threshold. He remained standing there, looking at me, as I slowly closed the door on those deep, velvet eyes.
"Oh Carter! Wait!...I promised you I'd..." I stepped out again, confused as he disappeared into his bedroom, and when he came out he was grinning shyly, and I smiled when he pulled something from behind his back and thrust it towards me. I laughed, and he suddenly looked shy, ruffling his hair nervously.
"Yeah well, ya did ask"
"I did sir, and thank you. I promise I'll take care of him"
"You do that Carter, or you'll have me to answer to...Oh...and I snagged ya this...since ya asked" He held out a large chocolatey cookie which I took with a thank you, hugging the bear to my chest and clutching a cookie as I slowly closed the door.
I smile at the memory and glance across to the furry face beside me, that of the well loved teddy currently sharing my bed. Mr.Theodorus. I can't believe the Colonel has a bear called Mr. Theodorus. He told me when I spied him in the washing machine that his mother has suggested he call him Theo, but that name wasn't different enough for a young Jack, so in a childish fashion he had added the 'dorus' part, and the Mr. My white plush bear is called Kimmy, and while tears of laughter were falling down my face I suggested the two bears had a tea party, and I've never seen the Colonel look more horrified ever.
"Goodnight Mr Theodorus" I tell the scruffy old bear, and I flick the bedside lamp off, and settle for sleep. What a strange night this has been. I've stayed over at the Colonel's before, but tonight...tonight was different. Even though nothing was said, nothing was really done, tonight we walked the line longer than we ever have before...and we swayed...but we never fell.
Just yesterday I would never have imagined I'd be sharing the remnants of a kids cereal with the Colonel, sharing a bed with his bear, and coming closer thane we ever have before. He's a surprising man at times, the Colonel, but I wouldn't change a thing about him.
Still.
A bear in his closet.
I never would have thought.
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THE END
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Story Notes: FEEDBACK: Yes please! Feeeeeeeeeeedbaaaaaaaaack...drool...
SPOILERS: Uh...don't think so...but it's set season 3.
SPOILERS: Uh...don't think so...but it's set season 3.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]