An old man walked on legs that seemed unable to bear his weight, causing him to sway from side to side as he made his way to a bed in a corner of a room. The room was very basic, it had an unfeeling look about it, as if it cared little for the person living there and the person cared little for the room. The room served a purpose and that to provide shelter, but that was all it did. A table was in another corner of the room; it held the remnants of a solitary meal. Little care had been taken in its preparation or in clearing it away.
The man lowered himself onto the bed, sighing as he did so. He no longer thought about his actions, they were merely a repeat of the previous day, the previous week, the previous year, decade even. He completed them because he had to, someone had told him that he had to, that he had to hold on, but he could no longer remember why, or who had told him that.
He lay on the bed looking at the ceiling, staring at small marks that were there. The marks had a pattern, but what he did not know. He thought he might have once, but not any more. His eyes began to close, and his breathing slowed as he fell asleep.
Around him the room began to fade, fading in time with his sudden shallow breathing, until eventually as the man's breathing and heart stopped, the room faded to nothing - along with the man.
Present...
Colonel Jack O'Neill found himself in the exam room that had been used for the interrogations of the members of the SGC when under threat from the Goa'uld brainwashing. He could not remember arriving there, or how long he had been there. He turned to look around the rest of the room; the rest of SG1 was there. Daniel looked a bit upset, whilst Teal'c looked more stoic than usual. He lastly looked at Carter; she had taken one step towards him, and held her arm outstretched.
"You have to hold on Sir, we're nearly there. It's just going to take a little more time, you have to live and hold on."
"Carter?" Jack asked, confused. "What are you talking about? I'm here - Now!"
"I know Sir, but not for long. We're working on a way to bring you back in phase with us, it's just taking longer than we anticipated."
He stared at her. He didn't understand what she was trying to say to him, which wouldn't be the first time, or the last he admitted to himself, but the look on her face told him that this was important, and that he had to trust her.
"Okay Major, what's happened?"
"We think it has something to do with the R...."
Jack was unable to hear the rest of her words; his ears were filled a whooshing noise, the type that you hear before going under a general anaesthetic. All around his peripheral vision, blackness was closing in until all he could see was Sam's face being circled within the black, and then nothing.
Slowly the blackness faded, in its place he could see a barren landscape.
"What the..?" He exclaimed, his own voice startling him in the silence.
A pale blue sky was overhead, with a pale yellow sun that seemed smaller than the one he was used to. Under his feet the earth was a pale yellow, and scattered about, small plants struggled to grow, there was almost nothing for as far as the eye could see. On the horizon, as he continued to stare, there appeared to be a dark shape. He looked around, hoping to see a Stargate to travel back to earth through, even though he did not have a GDO, but there was nothing.
What was it that Carter had said? Back in phase, something to do with bringing him back in phase with the rest of them? He shook his head, he had to start thinking military, stay with what he knew.
'Okay, what have I got with me? He looked down at himself; he was wearing his fatigues, but none of his recon gear. He was wearing what he would when he was on base, attempting to do the administration thing. He felt in his pockets, a notebook and pencil, a pocket-knife, and a stick of gum.
"Cool" he said out loud. He looked around again, trying to decide whether to remain in his present location, or head out to what he hoped was a town or village in the distance. He lifted up his hand to rub the back of his neck; Carter always managed to give him a headache, even when she wasn't around.
He decided to head towards the horizon, taking the pacifist option wasn't really an option in any of O'Neill's books. He scribbled a note on a sheet of paper from the notepad, giving the date, time and direction in which he was headed. He placed a small rock on top of the note to keep it from moving where he placed it on the ground, grinning to himself as he wondered what Daniel would make of it. It was strange, despite the situation he was in he felt no threat.
After several hours of walking, Jack was approaching the outline he had seen on the horizon. As he had drawn closer, he was able to make out that it was a hut or shack of some description. It appeared to be deserted, no fire was giving off smoke, and there appeared no signs of any other habitation.
He approached the hut slowly, his eyes darting from side to side incase anything should jump out at him. He reached the open doorway.
"Hello? Lucy, I'm home!" he called out.
There was nobody there, or signs that anybody recently had.
"Sweet"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three months later..
Jack was bored. He had never spent so long in his life in such inactivity. The first few days that he had been there he had been filled with an expectation of an immediate rescue from Carter, but that had dimmed as the days went past. He had kept himself from getting depressed when he thought of how it had taken them around 100 days to rescue him from Edora, so he wasn't giving up hope. He kept a record of the days that past by marking them on the doorway of the hut that was his so called home, which he had re-named the Ritz. He had just placed the 100th mark in the wood.
He turned and looked out of the door, the landscape had not changed, neither had the weather. He had spent some time wondering how long the planets' rotation was from this systems star. The planet had only one sun, but had a binary moon system. He had decided that the rotation must be greater than that of earth as the season and daylight hours had yet to change. He spent a lot of time wondering on things like that to try and pass the time.
When he was on Edora he had been able to keep himself busy, working in the fields, and rebuilding homes, but here there was nothing to do. He had discovered a garden that had been planted at he back of the hut, so he didn't worry about going hungry. The variety left a little to be desired though. The garden consisted of vegetables that seemed to be a cross between potatoes and swedes, although he was able to sometimes catch some of the creatures that came to feed in the garden. They appeared from beneath the ground, similar to rabbits, and tasted similar to them in texture. There was also be an underground water supply, which he had found conveniently next to the garden.
He returned to where he had left his note every other day, at first he had returned there twice a day, but as time had gone on he had started to go there only once a day, and now every other day. He made a note of the date, and time that he had been there. He was reluctant to go too far from where he had first appeared on this planet, incase he needed to be there when Carter finished her phase shifting thing. She had told him to hang on and that was what he was doing. The living thing was a little harder; he felt that he was just existing in some sort of limbo. In more fanciful moments he had even thought of this place as some sort of purgatory, and wondered who would pray for him if that is where he was, he figured he was going to be here a long time if that was the case.
He had at first tried talking out loud to himself, just to hear a voice, but that had become old fast. He had even started writing a diary, but when all he had to enter was got up, then retired, he had got bored with that. He spent a lot of his time thinking. Thinking of the things that he was missing, like everyone back at the SGC. He wondered what Cassie was doing, how she was enjoying Junior High, how Daniel was getting on with his rocks, how Teal'c was doing in his earth studies. He didn't think much about Carter at first, that had been easy to do, he'd had plenty of practise putting her out of his thoughts, but as time went on she kept invading his everyday thoughts. 'What would Carter make of this?' or 'Carter would have laughed at that', especially at night times when he was trying to catch one of the rabbit things.
He felt as if he was going mad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Year Later..
Jack was on his way back to the Ritz. He had spent the last four months investigating the planet he was on, and had basically found nothing. The planet appeared to have only one dwelling place, and that was the one he lived in. He could detect no other occupiers of the planet, either now or previously. He had taken to talking to the members of his team as if they were there. Asking Daniel what he thought this would mean when he came across a strange looking rock, which turned out to be just that - a rock. He talked to Teal'c when he thought he saw movement in the distance, asking him about the threat they might pose if they turned out to be Goa'uld. He talked the most with Carter, or should that be argued with Carter. She would never let him have the last word on anything. He was vaguely aware that this was what Ernest had done when he had spent time on the planet by himself, but he reassured himself that he was not going mad as he knew he was doing it, besides, Carter would tell him if he went too far.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ten Years Later..
Jack sat outside of his house, looking up at the stars; he had named the constellations that he could see. The dying symbiote was a personal favourite of theirs. He could not see any of the ones that he knew from earth, but he had marked them on the ceiling above his bed. He liked to lie there before he went to sleep and gaze at them, telling Sam what they were called, sometimes he forgot some of them, but she reminded him, she was smart that way. Daniel and Teal'c were not talking to him at the moment, he had laughed at then when they had fell over when digging up the pot-swedes, but he knew they would start talking to him soon, they always did in the end.
He called out goodnight to them, and went indoors to sleep. He had eaten earlier and straightened up the place, Sam didn't like going to bed with an untidy room, said she couldn't sleep properly if they didn't clear their things away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Decades later..
Jack walked on legs that seemed unable to bear his weight, causing him to sway from side to side as he made his way to a bed in a corner of a room. He had just left the table; the remnants of a solitary meal were left discarded.
He lowered himself onto the bed, sighing as he did so. Someone had told him that he had to hold on, that he had to live, but he could no longer remember why, or who had told him that.
His eyes began to close, and his breathing slowed as he fell asleep.
Around him the room began to fade, fading in time with his sudden shallow breathing, until eventually Jack's breathing and heart stopped, the room faded to nothing - along with Jack.
"NO!.. Co..lo..nel!" Screamed Sam. But she was too late. The Reetu's weapon had engulfed O'Neill, and she watched as his body dissolved in front of her eyes. His eyes staring at hers until they no longer existed..
"No!.Sir!" Sam sat up in her bed, her body sweating and shaking. Doctor Fraiser hurried over to her.
"Shh Sam, it's okay. You're in the infirmary, try to keep calm" Janet said this, even though she knew there was little chance of Sam heeding her words.
Sam gazed at the doctor, her eyes starting to fill when she remembered what she had been dreaming.
"It's not a dream, is it Janet?" she asked her in a quiet voice.
"No Sam, I'm sorry. There was nothing you or anyone could do."
"He's really gone?" Sam asked as she lay back down on the infirmary bed.
"Yes Sam, try and get some rest." Janet pulled the covers over Sam, making sure the IV had not come out of her arm. She stared down at Sam as she fought against going to sleep, but the sedative in her system was to strong for her to fight. She walked back to her office, looking at Sam's medical records. She had been lucky this time. Teal'c had had to half carry, half drag her back through the Stargate - after they had seen Colonel O'Neill killed.
She swallowed back her grief, there would be time for that later, now she had to be strong for Sam. She knew that the feelings between them were stronger than what they had admitted to. She had been a witness to their unwillingly declarations to caring for each other, but she also knew what they hadn't said. She shut her eyes as she leaned against her desk, there were times she almost hated the military.
Janet realised that she must have fallen asleep, for when she lifted her head, she could not see Sam lying in an infirmary bed. She hurried into the room calling out for the nurse, asking her why she had let Major Carter out of the infirmary, but the nurse had not seen Sam leave.
Janet almost ran out of the room, She knew where Sam would be, in fact she had expected to find Sam there at some point - the exam room.
Sam stood in the middle of the room, hugging herself. She was reliving the moment in her head when Jack had admitted that he cared for her, more than he should. How she had stood there willing herself not to react, part of her cheering to hear that he cared for her, and yet another part wishing that it could have remained unsaid.
Her mind reliving the moment when she had given him the option for what had been said never to leave this room. How she wished now that she had never said that. When she closed her eyes she could almost sense Jack in the room, calling out her name.
"Major, what are we doing here?"
It was funny, even now in her head, he still addressed her as Major.
"Sam? Are you all right? You look as if you should be in the infirmary. What are we doing here?"
Sam gasped and turned round. There in front of her stood the Colonel, staring at her. She stretched out her arm to him, but then he started to disappear. Fading into nothing.
"Colonel?" she shouted. But he was gone.
Janet ran into the room just in time to hear Sam call out, but she saw only Sam in the room.
"Janet, he was just here! Where is he Janet?" Sam started to sway. Janet put her arms around her to support her back to the infirmary. Sam never said another word as Janet helped her back onto the bed, her face showing no reaction as her mind raced trying to find explanations for what she had just seen. She didn't believe in ghosts, she couldn't. If she did, it would be admitting that the colonel was dead.
23 hours and 56 minutes later, Dr Fraiser and General Hammond were sitting in the briefing room, waiting for the remaining members of SG1 to arrive.
"I'm worried about Major Carter Sir. Even after all she's been through, I've never known her to lose it the way she did yesterday. But she seemed adamant at first that she had seen Colonel O'Neill in that room but then." her voice trailed off.
"I don't understand Doctor. What was she doing in that room anyway?"
"I'm not too sure General." Janet looked down as she said this, hoping that the General would not push her on this issue. But before anymore could be said Teal'c and Daniel entered the room.
"Where's Major Carter, Dr Jackson?"
"I don't know General, I thought she would have been here." Daniel looked at Janet, who he saw was staring at Teal'c. He saw a look of realisation cross her face as Teal'c nodded in recognition. They both knew where they would find Sam.
"Sir, permission to go and get Major Carter?" Janet asked this even as she stood up from the table and was heading out of the door as the General gave his permission. Daniel was following right behind her.
They both entered the exam room to find Sam standing there, looking at her watch.
"Sam. What are you doing?"
Sam looked up at them as the came into the room. She looked tired as if she had not slept since Janet had let her out of the infirmary last night, which in truth she had not.
"Janet I got to thinking. When I saw the Colonel yesterday, it was exactly 24 hours since the Reetu weapon had shot him. I don't think he's dead. I think that he's just been shifted somehow. I can't explain it, I just know he's not dead."
"Sam," Daniel said gently, "We know you cared for Jack, and God knows none of us want him to be dead, but you saw the Reetu kill him two days ago."
"No." Sam insisted. "I saw him shot with a weapon two days ago, but I never saw a body. I never saw the colonel dead."
"Sam.." Janet started to walk towards her, but Sam backed away from her.
"Humour me Janet. If I'm wrong then nothing will happen in the next 60 seconds, but if I'm right then Jack's alive." Sam gave her a pleading look, asking Janet to give her this chance. Janet nodded at her.
Sam went and stood in the middle of the room, again wrapping her arms around herself. Both Janet and Daniel looked at each other; they didn't want to have to force her to realise what had happened until she was ready to face it.
Janet looked down at her watch, only 20 seconds remained of the time that Sam had pleaded for. 15.10.5.4..3..2.1. Janet looked up from her watch as she heard Daniel gasp, and there standing next to Sam stood Jack. A very confused looking Jack.
Sam had approached Jack. She placed a hand on his arm, it was solid, and she could feel the warmth under her hand. She could feel her eyes filling up as she realised that she had not been hallucinating yesterday. Although she had tried to sound convincing to Janet and Daniel, she had not been sure that she had not just convinced herself that Jack was alive because she had wanted to believe that.
"Sam? What's going on? I thought we were on the planet where the Tok'ra had said there were Reetu."
Suddenly, as it had the previous day, Jack began to dissolve in front of her, before she could answer his question.
"No!" But it was too late, Jack was gone again.
Daniel and Janet walked back into the briefing room, this time accompanied by Sam. General Hammond looked up as they entered, his eyes looking straight away to Major Carter. He had expected her to look upset, especially after what Doctor Fraiser had told him. He knew about the attraction that existed between O'Neill and Carter, but as any good commander, he knew when to turn a blind aye, as long as no regulations were being broken and the job was being done. He was surprised to see Carter looking almost excited as she strode through he doorway and came and stood to attention in front of him.
Hammond looked to see if Doctor Fraiser was concerned with this behaviour, but the doctor seemed to share Carter's enthusiasm, albeit a little bit bemused.
"Major?" he asked Carter.
"Sir. Request permission to return to P2X 974."
General's reply came instantaneously "Request denied Major. We almost lost an entire team there, not just damn a fine officer."
"Colonel O'Neill is not dead, Sir. He's alive, I was just with him."
Hammond narrowed his eyes as he stared at her intently. After losing one of his best officers, it appeared he might be losing another due to mental instability.
"Sir I know what you are thinking, but it's true. Janet?" Sam finished and turned to look at her friend for support. Janet took a step closer to the General, as if to impress upon him the sincerity of her words.
"I can't explain it General, but we did just see Colonel O'Neill. He was able to communicate with us."
"Did he tell you where he is?" asked the General, wanting to believe his people, even though it sounded unbelievable. Then again a lot of his work at the SGC would be considered 'unbelievable'.
"No Sir." Replied Janet, almost apologetically.
"Actually," added Daniel, frowning as he remembered Jack's reaction to being in the room. "He didn't seem to know where he was, or how he had got there. He asked why we weren't on the Reetu planet the Tok'ra planet had told us about."
General Hammond stared at them, with an incredulous expression.
"You expect me to believe that you all have been communicating with Colonel O'Neill, when you yourself Dr Jackson told me he had been killed in action two days ago."
Daniel uncrossed his arms to push his glasses further up his nose, an unconscious gesture. "I can't explain it Sir, but we have to go back, we can't leave him there"
General Hammond sat back slightly in his chair, he then nodded his head as he came to a decision.
"Very well. Send a probe through in 30 minutes. If there is no sign of the Reetu I'll authorise a recon mission, SG 6 will go through."
"Request permission to.!" interrupted Sam.
"Denied Major. You are not physically able to take part in this mission. Besides, if the colonel has been shifted somehow, you'll have to start on a way to bring him back. Dismissed people."
Exactly 30 minutes the remaining members of SG 1 were in the control room watching as the probe entered the gate to P2X 974. As one they turned to look at the screen where images would be received from the probe. Carter sat at her customary chair; there was no one else she would trust to do the job properly.
Sgt Siler informed the people waiting, "We should be receiving telemetry in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1."
A grainy image showed on the screen, as the camera angled wide. A TER weapon had been attached which allowed the MALP to relay images of any Reetu in the immediate vicinity, despite their being out of phase. There was no sign of any. Although there was evidence of recent heavy weapons fire.
General Hammond narrowed his eyes as he came to his decision, he nodded at Teal'c, and then bent down to speak into the microphone that would relay his voice to the embarkation room.
"SG 6 you have a go. You are to return in one hour whether you have found evidence of Colonel O'Neill being there or not."
Teal'c had already left for the embarkation at Hammond's signal and left with SG 6 as they went through the gate.
Sam jumped as the alarm went off for an off world activation, even though she had been waiting for it.
The signal came through as that of SG 6 and so the iris was opened. Hammond stood behind her; he had entered the room as soon as the incoming klaxon had been sounded. The members of SG 6 came through the gate, Sam held her breath as Teal'c came through. She leaned back against her chair with a sigh as Teal'c shook his head at her to indicate that the mission had been unsuccessful.
'He had to be there, where else could he be?' she thought to herself in irritation.
Ten minutes later, they all sat around General Hammond's desk. He started the briefing. "Okay people. What are our options? How long till Colonel O'Neill makes his next appearance?"
"21 hours Sir, if it follows the pattern that seems to be establishing itself" replied Carter.
"We could contact the Tok'ra again to see if they know anything about this sort of Reetu weapon. They might be able to spread more light on this" put in Daniel
"They haven't been forthcoming with information about alien weaponry before, what's to stop them doing the same again?" argued Fraiser. She tried to keep her voice impartial but was not entirely successful. She still hadn't forgotten what the armbands that Anise had brought to the SGC had nearly done to the members of SG 1.
"Agreed, but we don't have any other choice but to ask for any information they can give us. Major Carter, will you send the signal?"
"Yes Sir." With that Carter got up from her chair, relieved to be able to do something even if it was just send something else through the gate.
Three hours later, there was another off world activation. This time it was the Tok'ra. Carter, Jackson and Teal'c went into the embarkation room to meet who ever the Tok'ra had deemed worthy, or replaceable, to send to the Tauri home world this time. Sam's face lit up with the first smile in nearly three days as she saw her Father walk through the gate, who was then followed by Anise.
Jacob held out his arms in greeting to his daughter,
"Hey Kid. What's the emergency or did you just figure it was time to see your old man again?"
"Actually Dad I need your help, or maybe Selmacs" Sam's eyes flickered across at Anise but she made no mention of the help that Anise could offer.
They assembled in the briefing room moments later.
"What's wrong?" Jacob asked.
"We went to P2X 974, the address that the Tok'ra gave us concerning the whereabouts of the Reetu and.." Sam started to inform Jacob of the events that had led to them asking for the Tok'ra's help when she was interrupted.
"What? Even the Tok'ra won't go to that planet. What were you thinking?"
"We were given the address but no mention was made of the fact that the Tok'ra themselves would not go" Interrupted Hammond
Jacob looked at Anise, who sat there with no reaction on her face.
"I was not told of the intention of the Tok'ra to give the information of the Reetu planet. If I had, I would have insisted that you were made aware of recent developments."
"Dad? What developments? Colonel O'Neill was hit by some sort of weapon three days ago. At first we thought he had been killed, but then he showed up on base for a few moments before disappearing again. He's been appearing at 24 hour intervals, in the same room each time."
Jacob nodded his head as if he expected to hear something like what was being explained to him.
"We have heard about it, but we're not too sure what it involves. What little we have heard, tells of a weapon that results in some sort of alternate existence."
"Something like the alternate reality mirror that we found a couple of years ago, allowing you to cross from one reality to another?" asked Jackson
"Not exactly. The reality is more subjective. Depending on the individual, the reality can be almost the same to the one that we live in, or it can be a living hell. The longer they're there, the less likely it is that they can return."
"How do we bring the colonel back?"
"You can't."
"Actually, that is incorrect." Anise suddenly entered the conversation. "I have found evidence to suggest that there is a way to return someone from their own reality."
Everyone turned to look at her. Doctor Fraiser sat back in her chair, her jaw clenching slightly as she waited to hear what Anise was to suggest this time.
"I've never heard of any working before." countered Jacob
"That is because it has not been successfully tried before"
"What are you suggesting?"
"If a person is sent into the reality with knowledge that it exists they should be able to influence whoever is trapped there." Anise made this announcement as if it was the most reasonable explanation. However by Jacob's reaction, it was not so reasonable.
"You can't send someone into the same reality, it's different for each individual. That's why it's used, so no-one can communicate with each other."
"Not if there is a connection already in place between whoever is trapped, as is demonstrated by Major Carter experiencing the ability to see Colonel O'Neill every 24 hours."
"For that to happen that means there has to be an.." Jacob stopped whatever he was to say next, as he looked at his daughter first and then at General Hammond.
"George. I need to speak with my daughter. Alone" He finished his request in a manner that only a general can impart, despite the blending with Selmac.
Sam looked at Anise as she realised what it was that Anise was referring to. She clenched her jaw as she realised that what she had told Colonel O'Neill would remain in the room, was now threatened with exposure. As everyone else left the room, Sam was convinced that the look on Anises face was more smug that usual.
Sam and Jacob stood facing each other in the briefing room. Neither said a word, until Sam broke eye contact and looked down at the table. Jacob lifted his head and looked towards the far wall.
Finally Jacob broke the silence. He turned to her, his eyes shadowed with regret.
"For this to work there has to be an attachment that is beyond the physical and the emotional. If you go there's a chance that both of you might not return."
"We can't just leave him there. He'll die."
"Sammie. I thought you knew better than this" Jacob said in a reproachful voice.
"We haven't done anything Dad. God forbid that we should do anything to upset the regs. We only admitted how we felt about each other because we had no choice. Anise and her damn 'zannix' detector."
Sam walked around the room, throwing up her arms in her frustration at having to explain this to her father.
"We both agreed that what ever was said we would leave in the room, it didn't go outside."
'So that's why he keeps appearing in the room' Jacob heard Selmac say, as he nodded to himself. 'You have to warn her'
"Sam. If you get back.When you get back.." Jacob started his sentence again at he look on his daughter's face, "He won't remember any of it, but you will. And you might not like what you see." He held out his arms to her and she walked into them and buried her head into his shoulder, but all too quickly she stepped back away from him, once more a military officer.
"So what do we do then?" she asked.
"I'm not sure on all the details, but I'm sure Anise will have them" Jacob left the room to call the others back, giving Sam a few seconds to pull herself together.
Without askance, Anise launched into an explanation of what would be involved in preparing Carter to enter Colonel O'Neill's reality.
"From what my research has discovered, the L'arnoc device causes the subject to exist in a reality that is of their choosing. There is no way before hand to know what this form will take. There have been some recordings of experiences like those shared with Colonel O'Neill and Major Cater, where the subject becomes briefly aware of their true reality. It is necessary for Major Carter to enter the Colonel's reality in the brief seconds that he is aware and convince him that he is to return."
"You mean to say that it is a simple as asking Jack to click his heals three times?" Interrupted Daniel incredulously. "If it was that simple wouldn't have Jack done that already?"
"The L'arnoc uses the mind of the subject against themselves. When the subject is first attacked, they lose any ability to make a conscious choice. The reality that they find themselves in will be the only one they can affect without any external influence."
"How will Major Carter enter this.reality, without being affected herself?" Asked Dr Fraiser. "If it is the same way that Colonel O'Neill entered it, she will be compromised as soon as the L'arnoc is used on her."
"The Major will not enter into Colonel O'Neill's reality in the same way that he did. From my research, the Major will need to be inoculated against the effects of the L'arnoc before she can enter it."
"If there's something that could have prevented this in the first place, why was my team not made aware of this before they went to this planet" came the outburst from General Hammond.
"The inoculation itself causes hallucinations, which cannot be easily overcome."
"Hallucinations like those that were induced from the 'Blood of Sokar'?" asked Dr Fraiser, looking more and more disturbed as Anise gave her explanation.
Before Anise could answer the Doctor, she was interrupted by Daniel, who also did not look happy at the thought anyone having to experience the hallucinations that they had been forced to endure at the hands of Sokar.
"Where did you find your research Anise? Would it be possible for me to look at it?"
"Certainly Dr Jackson. However, the dialect is an obscure one that I'm sure will take you much to time to translate. Time that Colonel O'Neill does not have".
Whilst Daniel looked ready to argue that it would not take as much time as Anise implied, he was stopped by Sam asking how she could reach Colonel O'Neill if they were both hallucinating different things.
"It will be necessary for you to reach a meditative state that will allow your mind to reach that of Colonel O'Neill. For this to work there has to be a connection already in place. This I have already observed, and it is proven by your being aware of Colonel O'Neill for a few seconds when, to use your explanation he is back in phase."
"But," Daniel stated, "Both Dr Fraiser and myself have both seen Jack. Does that mean we can also try to contact Jack?"
"The balance of Colonel O'Neill's mind could be disrupted if there were too many minds trying to bring him back. His reality is so subjective that the introduction of more that one could cause him to retreat to a point where there would be no hope of return."
General Hammond, after further listening to arguments for and against Sam entering O'Neill's reality, especially, the arguments against coming from Dr Fraiser as to the safety of the procedure, turned to Sam
"Major, I cannot order you to do this. The decision is entirely yours."
They looked across the table at each other, the words unspoken between them that they knew Sam had no choice. She would do whatever it took to bring Jack home.
She turned to Teal'c and said. "So, Teal'c. How does this meditation thing work?"
Sam pushed out of her chair in frustration. It had been four days since Anise had came up with the idea to rescue the Colonel, but she was still no closer in making an attempt. Whilst Anise had managed to come up with the L'arnoc, Sam was still unable to reach the necessary level of meditation that would allow her to over come the hallucinations.
Each day, despite Dr Fraiser's protestations, a small amount of the drug was injected into her system, but almost immediately she would be overcome by the hallucinogenic properties. The worst thing was, Sam was unable to recall any of them. Anise claimed that until she could recall and control the images she would be of no use.
Teal'c stayed in his chair, his head tilting slightly as he watched Sam pace around the room agitatedly.
"Major Carter. There is no purpose in moving around this room. You must allow yourself to relax and.."
"Teal'c I know all this, you've told me again and again, but it's no use. What help am I to the Colonel if I can't even manage a simple relaxation technique." She ran her hand through her hair in a determined manner and sat back down in her chair.
"No, I *can* do this. I will not let it beat me"
"You must not think of this as a battle. You must find a balance within yourself, allow yourself to see every part of your body as the equal parts that they are"
She settled herself in the chair, moving her head from side to side as she worked to free herself of the tensions that had filled her neck and shoulders over the past few hours.
Sam inhaled slowly, and exhaled. Feeling the air enter her lungs, imagining the cells transporting the oxygen to the various parts of her party, each working in harmony with the other. Dimly she was aware of Teal'c's presence in the room, but only as she was aware of the air in the room.
A flash of a blue sky suddenly filled her senses, and the warmth of a distant sun bathed her in its light. She opened her eyes in shock, and looked to Teal'c. He simply nodded at her.
A few hours later, the three remaining members of SG1 were gathered in the exam room that had been used for the interrogations of the members of the SGC when under threat from the Goa'uld brainwashing. It was nearly time for O'Neill to make his customary appearance. Although he did not seem to recall his previous appearances to the SGC, they derived a small measure of comfort from trying to communicate with him in those few seconds that he was there. Dr Fraiser had also accompanied them this time, although if asked, she would have claimed that it was to ensure that Sam was not suffering any ill effects from the L'arnoc. They all became silent as the moment approached.
And then he was there. O'Neill turned to look around the rest of the room. Daniel looked upset, whilst Teal'c looked more stoic than usual. He lastly looked at Carter; she had taken one step towards him, and held her arm outstretched.
"You have to hold on Sir, we're nearly there. It's just going to take a little more time, you have to live and hold on."
"Carter?" Jack asked, confused. "What are you talking about? I'm here - Now!"
"I know Sir, but not for long. We're working on a way to bring you back in phase with us, it's just taking longer than we anticipated."
He stared at her. It was apparent to those in the room that he didn't know what she was referring to, but that he trusted her judgement implicitly.
"Okay Major, what's happened?"
"We think it has something to do with the R...."
And then he was gone again.
Daniel turned to Sam to offer her some reassurance.
"It won't be for much longer Sam, we'll get him home. *You* will get him home"
She nodded; looking at the space in the room that had been so recently occupied by her CO.
"It's just taking so long. I should have gained control by now."
"Hey, it's not as if you're just building something simple like a particle beam." Daniel countered wryly.
They looked at each other, Sam smiled softly, accepting the support that Daniel was giving her.
"You'll get there Sam. I know you will."
She nodded, and without looking at the others left the room.
"I should be getting back to the infirmary" announced Dr Fraiser, "Call me if Sam decides to make another attempt."
Daniel nodded at her, as the three of them left to go to their various destinations.
Sam sat in her quarters. Her first thought on leaving the room had been to go to her lab, but this time it didn't matter how hard she worked, physically or mentally, it was not going help. Not this time.
She had always attempted to meditate when Teal'c was with her, needing his presence to calm her. But this time, she needed to be on her own. She didn't know why, but seeing O'Neill had filled her with a sense of urgency. Time was running out. If she could not control the hallucinations soon, it would be too late.
She slowed her breathing, shutting everything out of her mind. The images started immediately. She was standing on a shoreline, with the rock face behind her. A storm was taking place. Water pouring down, big heavy grey waves that crashed onto the rocks and spraying her. High winds were causing her to sway as they buffeted against her; she had to put her arms out to the side to hold onto the rock face.
'It's not real. It's only in my mind.' She told herself. She brought her arms back to her sides, as the wind seemed to calm, becoming eerily quiet as if in the eye of the storm. The waves settled and started to lap gently at the shoreline. She turned to look out across the sea, which had become as tranquil as a boating lake. Sunlight began to break through the clouds, dissolving them with its warmth.
A warmth that suddenly became hot, too hot. The sun suddenly began to burn intensely, Sam could feel her skin crisping, and she had to shut her eyes against the glare as the light burnt her eyes. The sea in front was evaporating, a hazy mist forming from the steam.
'No!' She cried inside her head. Struggling not to scream from the intense heat. 'This.is.not.real.' Each word was an attack at what she was feeling. A gentle rain started to fall on her skin, cooling what she thought must be heat-blisters on her skin. She sighed at the relief that this brought. The heat fading from her body until she began to feel slightly chilled.
She opened her eyes and saw that the view had changed, instead water all she could see was snow. A white blanket covered the area as far as the eye could see. And yet she wasn't cold. She felt a slight chill from the rain that had been a balm to her skin, but no more than that.
She lost track of time as she stared at the vista, the white view unchanging and unending, hypnotic. She struggled to remember what it was she was doing here. She was meant to be looking for something .or someone. Whispers of thought and memory flickered enticingly in her brain, but she was unable to pin them down. It was important, something was important.someone was important. She didn't have time to be staring at nothing..the Colonel! He needed her to find him.
Sam sat upright in her chair. Her eyes wide open as she stared around her room; it's familiarity reassuring her. She stood up, staggering slightly as she made her way to the doorway. She remembered what she had seen and she had been able to control it. It was time. She couldn't afford to wait any longer.
General Hammond called a meeting in the briefing room when Sam informed him of her success in controlling the hallucinations. He was still unconvinced that she was ready. Although he shared her sense of urgency, as much as he wished to have Colonel O'Neill returned to the SGC, he wanted to have as much information as possible before he allowed another of his officers to be put at risk.
"Okay people, what else have we learnt?"
"That which we did not know four days ago?" Anise asked, "Nothing. Colonel O'Neill is still appearing at intervals of 24 hours and will continue to do so until Major Carter contacts him in his reality."
Dr Fraiser shuffled her papers in front of her as she tried to hide her irritation at the Tok'ra.
"The L'arnoc substance has caused Major Carter to suffer hallucinations that have caused her body levels of stress that cannot be endured in the long term. I cannot recommend that we continue this for much longer." Dr Fraiser kept her gaze on the general as she said this, not wanting to see the look that Sam would give. Knowing that her friend would see this as a personal attack, despite her impartial medical evaluation.
"With all due respect General, I'm ready to try now." Insisted Sam
"It will be necessary for you to wait until tomorrow." Anise interrupted before the general could respond.
They all turned to look at Anise. After stressing the importance of contacting O'Neill promptly, she was now telling them to wait another day. Hammond looked slightly incredulous as he asked,
"Why?"
"You must enter the Colonel's reality just prior to his coming into phase with this reality." Anise answered as if it was the most logical thing in the world. "You must make him aware that the reality he is existing in is not the real one, and that he must remain in this one."
"Just like that."
"Yes."
"Jacob?"
"It makes sense that the less time Sam has in O'Neill's reality, the more likely she is to be able to control herself and convince him that he is to return to the SGC. The longer she experiences another reality, the harder it will be for her to react."
"So tomorrow it is then people"
Less than 24 hours later General Hammond, Daniel, Teal'c and Jacob were assembled in the observation room, looking down at Sam lying on a trolley. Dr Fraiser attached various medical devices in order to observe any changes. Whilst Anise watched, holding a Tok'ra medical chart.
Dr Fraiser turned to the observation window, and called out
"We're ready General"
He nodded down to her to proceed. She turned, her movements stiff, showing her displeasure although she offered no argument. She knew it would be no good to try and talk Sam out of this, or change the General's mind. She picked up a syringe that contained some of the L'arnoc, and injected it into the drip that was attached to the Major's right arm.
Sam watched as she depressed the plunger, emptying the contents into the line going into her arm. She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing as she had been practising for the past five days. Allowing everything in the room to fade away...
She slowly became aware of a room that was very basic, which had an un-lived appearance to it, apart from a table in the corner of the room that held a single plate and cup. She looked around till she saw a bed that had a crumpled cover over it. A figure lay in the bed, but was so slight that they hardly made an impression. She walked over slowly, afraid of what she might see. Her eyes darting from side to side as she looked for any other indication of Colonel O'Neill, but there was none.
She gasped silently as she realised that the figure in the bed was Colonel O'Neill. She barely recognised him, in fact she would not have done had she not already witnessed the Colonel as an old man in one of their earlier missions.
The colonel appeared to be sleeping, although his breathing was very faint.
"Sir? Colonel O'Neill? Can you hear me? It's Carter?" Sam touched his arm gently but there was no reaction to her calling him.
"Sir, you have to hold on. You're nearly home, you just have to stay there."
But Colonel O'Neill did not respond. His breathing started to fade, as did the room in which they were both in. Sam stared in horror as he stopped breathing altogether, and then disappeared along with the room.
She was left alone with nothing.
Sam wrapped her arms around herself as she fell to the ground, her legs unable to take her weight as the impact of seeing O'Neill take his last breath suddenly came crashing down on her. Her distress was silent, as she couldn't bring herself to take a breath in, let alone cry out.
Two thoughts kept chasing through her brain, following each other as she tired to comprehend what had happened. He was gone... She was too late.. He was gone.. She was too late.
Painfully she took a breath. The sound of her lungs, dragging in much needed oxygen, seemed too loud in the silence that was left. She felt traitorous as her body continued to survive even without her willing it to. It seemed unfair that she should continue to breathe when she had just seen O'Neill take his last.
As she lay on the ground in an almost foetal position, her eyes tightly shut, the room in which she had first appeared began to slowly reappear. Fading in as slowly as it had faded away only moments earlier, until it was fully formed. Sam lay there unaware of her surroundings or the passage of time.
A man approached the hut slowly, his eyes darting from side to side in case anything should jump out at him. His movements slow and calculated. He reached the open doorway.
"Hello? Lucy, I'm home" he called out.
At first glance the room appeared empty, but then he caught sight of the crumpled form of Sam.
He hurried over to her still form, his hand going to her neck to check for a pulse, his body relaxing slightly as he felt the steady beat of a pulse beneath his fingers. He looked around the room, trying to determine how she had come to be lying on the floor and whether he should risk moving her, but there were no obvious indications of how she had been injured.
As his hand was still resting against her throat, he felt rather than saw her reaction to his presence. He felt her body stiffen, but the military in her did not give any visible signs of her awareness to his presence.
"Hey Carter. Whatcha' doing on the floor?" He kept his voice low and reassuring but was unprepared for her reaction.
Almost as a blur she turned and was holding him. Holding him as tightly as he found himself holding her. He recognised the hold she was giving him. He recognised it, as he had once given Carter the same hold after his unwelcome guest at the hand of Hathor. It was a hold that said she had never thought to see him alive again.
"It's okay Carter. I'm here. I'm here"
Slowly Sam released her death grip on him, and looked up. Her eyes searching his to see if he remembered anything of his earlier death, but his eyes only showed concern for her and some confusion.
"What's going on Carter?" He asked her.
"Don't you know? " She replied. Her eyes widening as she realised that he had no recollection of earlier events. She sat up straighter, pulling away from O'Neill as she did so.
"What's the last thing you remember sir?"
"The last thing I remember is going through the gate for P2X 974, and then showing up on this planet about 20 minutes ago. Where are we? Where's Daniel and Teal'c?"
"They're back on base. We were ambushed when we went through the gate. A Reetu weapon hit you, it made you phase shift into a different reality. That was eight days ago sir."
"Eight days Carter?"
"Yes sir. It took us a while to realise what had happened to you. We thought." She hesitated, before continuing her sentence on the look he had given her. "We thought you were dead sir."
"As you can see Major. Tales of my death were greatly exaggerated." He quipped, before continuing more seriously. "So, how do we get out of here?"
"That's up to you sir"
"Cater?"
"There's no actual 'here' here. 'Here' is a subjective reality that you control, highly individualistic, based on the life experiences and decisions of the person..."
He rolled is eyes as his brain started to complain at her explanation. "Carter? Short answer please?"
"Yes sir. This place only exists because you are subconsciously creating it. You have a small window of returning to 'our' reality in 24 hours. But you have to choose to return."
"Choose?"
"Yes sir"
"No wizard to send us, huh?"
"No sir"
He let out a breath and stared to pace around the room, looking at the sparseness of it. He turned sharply to her as a sudden thought occurred to him.
"What about you? How do you return home?"
She nodded at his question, expecting it as it showed O'Neill's dedication to 'No-one gets left behind'.
"I'm only here when you're here. When you go back, hopefully I'll wake up in the infirmary."
"Hopefully?"
"It's all subjective, sir. But when you're not here, then this place will not exist, so that means the only place left for me to go will be back home."
"24 hours? That shouldn't be a problem then."
"They might. Those 24 hours sir? They're subjective too."
"Which means?"
"Which means when I first got here more than 24 hours had passed."
At his asking glance she continued. "You've been appearing on base every 24 hours, but when I first arrived here you were an old man sir."
He gestured to himself, with a wry grin. "I am an 'old' man in case you hadn't noticed"
"No, sir." Despite herself, Sam grinned. "You were 'Argos' old." And then the smile left her face as she continued. "You seemed to die in your sleep, everything disappeared, and then you came through the door as you are now. It seems that you have created a reality in which you live out a lifetime."
"I don't remember any of this Carter, are you sure that.?"
"Yes sir. The L'Arnoc device works so that the victim has no memory of being here, otherwise they'd be able to leave when they recalled what had happened previously."
"So, when I get back I won't have any memories of this?"
"No."
"What about you? Will you remember all of this?"
She hesitated slightly, before answering
"No."
"Okay. Have you got any plans on how to spend our next 24 hours?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6 hours later..
Sam was bored. It felt as if she had never spent so long in her life in such inactivity. The first few hours that she had been there had been spent coping with the colonel's expectation of going home. Although from her perspective only six hours had passed, the colonel was experiencing a different passage of time. As far as he was concerned three months had passed; it wasn't so much as time speeding up, as him remembering things that she didn't.
She had left him inside putting marks on the doorway. One minute she had been explaining to him yet again why they were there, the next he had been walking to the doorway with his penknife in hand, ready to make a scratch next to the others that had suddenly appeared. When she had asked him what he was doing he had replied that she knew what he was doing,
"The same as I have the 99 days previous Carter. Keeping a check on the days in this place."
And so she'd left him to it and went outside to look at the unchanging landscape. The view had surprised her initially. If the Colonel had to create a hut or cabin to live in, she would have expected it to be more like the one that Teal'c had described, but there wasn't even a puddle in sight, let alone a lake to catch fish in.
She turned as she heard the door opening behind her and watched as O'Neill walked out, stretching as if to ease kinks out of his spine from sitting too long.
"Hey Carter." He greeted her as if he hadn't seen her for a while despite her just leaving the room.
"Sir." She nodded in response
"What do you say we head back to where we left the note, see if anyone's been there recently?"
She tried to relax as her spine stiffened automatically at his denial of where they were, it made no sense to keep arguing why they were there, he forgot again moments later. She might as well go along with him until 24 hours were nearly up, it was only then that it was imperative that he remembered the truth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12 hours later..
Sam and Jack were heading back to the Ritz as O'Neill had creatively decided to call it. Jack had decided about an hour ago that they should investigate more of the planet that they were on, and so after walking for an hour with unchanging scenery as far as Sam was concerned, Jack had seen as much of the planet as was available to him.
It had worried her at first that he had suddenly taking to talking to Daniel and Teal'c as if they were present. Jack had stumbled a little over a pile of stones that had been in his path, and had then started asking Daniel of what cultural importance they had, and then replying to the answer that only he heard. She had tried to tell him that there was only the two of them present, and for a time he was silent again. Then Jack decided that he had seen some movement in the distance, although she hadn't seen anything, and started asking Teal'c what threat it might pose if it turned out to be Goa'uld.
Sam had tried talking to him, to see if she could keep him grounded by getting him to interact with her, but it was hard trying to keep a conversation going when they were making leaps that she had no way of following. The colonel didn't look to be concerned though. At one point in their conversation he had turned to her and said
"I'm glad you're here Carter, you'd tell me if I were going mad, wouldn't you?"
At first she thought she had made a break through with him, but then he'd turned to a Daniel that only he could hear and see and asked him what he thought of the cabin's structure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
18 hours later..
Sam was tired, she had been awake for nearly 27 hours straight. It had struck her as strange at first that she should be tired, as to all intents and purposes she was deeply asleep in a meditative state, and yet she still felt weary. It was tiring trying to keep up with the colonel and the way he had jumped from one thing to another, all perfectly logical - to him.
She looked across to where O'Neill was tidying away the remains of a meal that they must have eaten at some point, she smiled to herself. 'They' hadn't eaten a meal, but the colonel must have remembered eating, it was getting hard to keep some of the things straight in her head. He was as methodical in clearing away the table as he was at clearing away their campsites when off world. He put the last dish away, and then turned to her with a smile. He started to walk towards her with his hand outstretched, reaching for her hand.
She let him lead her towards the corner of the room where the bed was, she rationalised that the colonel would soon jump to another time in his life of 24 hours before anything untoward would happen, and told herself that it wasn't disappointment that she was feeling. But the colonel didn't show any signs of being distracted, if anything he looked more focused he had been anytime in the past 18 hours.
He sat down on the bed and pulled her gently to sit beside him. He lifted his hand, and without saying a word he softly brushed his fingers against her cheek. She stared at him, unable to take her eyes off his face. She felt a lump form in her throat at the look of contentment on his face, and felt almost voyeuristic. She was seeing a reality that was very private and personal to him, and although he wouldn't remember any of this, she would.
He moved to lie down on the bed on top of the covers and looked at her to join him, almost against her will she lay down beside him. He moved so that his arm was around her, holding her to him as he looked up at the ceiling. She turned her head to look at what he was staring at, confused at first, but then realised that they matched certain constellations that could be seen in the night sky on earth. She turned to ask O'Neill why he had put them there, but he was fast asleep.
She had to stop herself from laughing out loud, here she was inside the Colonel's own reality, lying next to him on a bed, and he fell asleep! He sure knew how to show a girl a good time. She looked down at the watch on her wrist and saw that there was another six hours to go before the alarm would go off. At least she was hoping that it would, she had set it before entering the meditative state, and had convinced herself that it would still go off. She didn't know how long the colonel would sleep, but she felt her own body starting to relax on the bed. Just five minutes she told herself as she put her head on the colonel's shoulder, smiling slightly as she felt him move his arm around her even in his sleep.
23 ½ hours later..
Sam woke with a start, looking at her watch in a panic. 'Thank god' she told herself when she saw there was still half an hour to go before the 24 hours were up. She sat up, and looked around the room, squinting in the gloomy half darkness. The lighting in the room was very much like when she had fist appeared in the room. She looked down at the bed towards the man lying beside her, and couldn't stifle her gasp. The man lying beside her resembled an old man, the colonel had aged as she had slept, he now looked as she remembered him looking after his infection with the nanites from Argos.
"Colonel?" She whispered, almost afraid to wake him, but knowing that she had to reach him, or she would have to watch him die again and then relive the whole day.
"Colonel?" She called again, this time in a louder voice.
He awoke with a start, and stared around him in confusion until his eyes settled on her, and then he smiled at her. She couldn't help smiling back at him, despite what he looked like, he was still the colonel.
"How are you feeling sir?" She asked him.
"Peachy.." He replied, his voice not as strong as usual. "And you?"
"I'm good sir. Are you ready to go home?"
He frowned at her, confusion in his yes. "Home Sam? We are home."
"No sir. We're not, you have to go back to the SGC"
"No Sam. I've told you before; I'm not dying in no infirmary or hospital. I want to die in my own bed with you beside me." He settled himself back against the pillar on the bed, as if having just finished an old argument.
"Sir, you're not ready to die yet. You have to hold on a bit longer and live."
"Sam, I'm old. We've won the war and I'm ready to go now."
"No sir, we haven't won the war and you're not old yet"
"What are you talking about Sam. We did it, we beat the Goa'ulds and then I took you fishing with me up to the cabin, and you said 'Yes'."
"No Sir, we haven't beaten the Goa'uld. They're still out there and we can't do anything from in here to stop them."
"What are you talking about. You said 'Yes'." He struggled to sit up in the bed. "You said that we could grow old together, until the death thing."
"I never said that to you colonel. It isn't over yet. I've been here with you, watching you live out a life in your subconscious, but it isn't real, none of it is. I never said 'Yes' to you sir."
"You said 'Yes' Sam. You said 'yes'" He said the words as if they were a mantra to him. You said 'Yes' and then we grew old together. Till death do us part"
"No sir. You never asked me anything and I never said yes. This isn't real. None of it is, and if you stay here you will die"
"I'm ready to die Sam."
"No Sir, I'm not ready for you to die on me. We've gone through too much for you just to give up and roll over and die." Her voice was starting to rise in anger and frustration. Time was running out, if she couldn't reach him now, then she didn't think she would ever be able to.
Jack stared at her, confusion written across his face.
"Remember Sir. We were on P2X 974, the Reetu ambushed us and you were hit by a weapon that caused you to shift out of our reality, and into this. None if this is real. We haven't been living out some idyllic life in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. If you stay here then you will die!"
Slowly recognition started to spread across his face.
"You told me this when we first arrived here. But I don't want to leave this room Sam. If I leave here, everything that has happened here will have to remain in this room"
Suddenly they were no longer in the cabin with the half light, but standing in the medical examination room. Jack was no longer old but looked as he did normally. Sam glanced at her wrist watch, there were still a few minutes remaining of the 24 hours, so she surmised that this was only another part of O'Neill's reality.
"You once said that nothing had to leave this room and I asked you if you were alright with that, do you remember that?"
She nodded, unable to voice her reply.
"I know that what we said couldn't leave that room, but I wanted it too. I wanted it then, and I want it now."
She stared at him. His brown eyes burning with an intensity that made her catch her breath, she swallowed before answering him. Regret in her voice.
"But we can't Sir. There's too much at stake. I don't want to give up the fight yet, and I don't think you do, not really"
"How can we be so arrogant as to think that whether we are in this war we can ultimately make that much difference?" He replied incredulously.
"I'm not saying that what we can do will make much of a difference, but I don't think I could live with the consequences of not helping."
They stared at each other,
"I need you sir, I can't do this without you. I need you Jack." The last was said with a silent tear running down her cheek.
Jack raised his hands so that he was framing Sam's face, and he slowly moved towards her. She held her breath as she felt his lips gently touching hers, brushing almost hesitantly, as if asking permission before becoming bolder as he felt no resistance. Almost against her will she felt herself kissing him back, raising her arms to hold him to her.
As one they pulled back, resting their foreheads against each other for support.
"We don't even now that we would work, we could drive each other crazy within a month." She tried to lighten the moment, a rueful smile on her face.
"We wouldn't, I know. I've spent a lifetime with you and I didn't go crazy. And it was a great life Sam, and if I go back I won't even remember it."
"I'll remember it for you."
He looked at her.
"When you asked if I'd remember it.I lied. I'll remember all of it."
"I guess this makes us even then."
"Sir?"
He took a step back from her, a half smile on his face at her question. But he shook his head.
"I guess it's time to go home Major."
As she stared at him, he started to fade slowly she held out her arm to him. They stared at each other's eyes, neither breaking contact, until O'Neill had faded completely.
Sam stood in the middle of the room, realising as she did so that she was no longer in the examination room at the SGC but back in the cabin. She looked across at the bed in the corner, she could make out two figures lying on the bed. They were of an elderly couple lying comfortably together. One she recognised as O'Neill, and the other she realised was herself. But only as she imagined she would look when she was older, if she lived to get old.
"Sam, Sam. Wake up. Colonel O'Neill is here."
She could hear the sound of Janet's voice as she tried to bring her round, and for a minute she wanted to ignore Janet. She wanted to remain in the room with Jack, and eventually grow old with him. But she couldn't. She had to leave everything in the room again; she could hear the colonel's voice in her head asking her if she was all right with that. She wasn't, but she would be, eventually.
Besides, what did the colonel mean "Guess that makes us even?"
Story Notes: SPOILERS: Divide and Conquer, and lots of other oblique references.
SEASON/SEQUEL: Set in late fourth / early fifth season.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I didn't know if I could write a Sam and Jack fic - still not too sure. But I wanted to read a story where they have another chance to go inside the room and see if they would make the same decision. This isn't what I originally intended, but I just knew what the last scene had to be and this was the route it went by. Thanks to Jo and Jillian for convincing me to finish it J
SEASON/SEQUEL: Set in late fourth / early fifth season.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I didn't know if I could write a Sam and Jack fic - still not too sure. But I wanted to read a story where they have another chance to go inside the room and see if they would make the same decision. This isn't what I originally intended, but I just knew what the last scene had to be and this was the route it went by. Thanks to Jo and Jillian for convincing me to finish it J
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]