(Part 1) Disappearance
I got it, I really did. That glimpse of the alternate realities had made it abundantly clear, even without Carter expounding on the quantum physics.
Our lives are determined by hundreds of defining moments.
Like Carter deciding to joining the Air Force, or Daniel accepting Catherine Langford's offer to come decipher the Stargate's coverstone, or Teal'c in that one instant deciding to turn his back on all of his family and friends and fight along side of us, or me, leaving that damn gun where Charlie could find it.
All of those moments had brought us to where we were that day two weeks ago, standing on P3X-437 in a temple while Daniel did his little 'Wow, this is amazing' dance, and Teal'c stood guard tolerantly by the Stargate, and Carter collected samples of the rocks and soil, occasionally meeting my eyes and silently laughing at my exasperated expression as I tried to stay alert and not loose my patience.
What I had never thought about (because let's face it, that's more Carter and Daniel's realm) is that every breath we take can be a defining moment. Each move we make can be a divergence from what we do in another reality. Turn left instead of right. Have Fruit Loops for breakfast instead of oatmeal. Most of these choices don't shape our futures, but any one of them can.
The defining moment, when it came, was so innocent, just another little joking around moment between Carter and I. And it would trigger weeks of soul searching that would bring me to the ultimate defining moment that I am currently facing.
**** Flashback****
Since a previous scouting mission had shown that P3X-437 was uninhabited, and that the only item of interest was a temple, hidden in caves where the Stargate resided, we had been granted an easy 6 hour mission to allow Daniel to record the writings and collect artifacts for further study. The main chamber of the temple was reached via a narrow rock corridor that led away from the Stargate, so while Daniel was concentrating on that chamber, and Teal'c stayed close to the gate, Carter and I had explored a few other passageways. Finding nothing, we were just about at the end of our stay, and we had returned to help Daniel pack up the gear. "Did you get enough rocks, er um, artifacts Danny Boy? We really should be getting back."
"Uh, yeah. I'm all finished Jack."
"Well then, head back and dial us home Danny. Carter and I will carry the last of this stuff out."
"Ok, but be careful with that pack. There are some incredible carvings in there." "Yasureyabetcha"
And so Danny headed down the passageway which was only wide enough for one person to walk at a time.
"After you Carter. I've got your backside – er back." (Crap! Did I just give away how much I love watching her backside when I am behind her?)
"That's ok, sir. I think I'll watch your backside, um back, this time."
At that I raised an eyebrow, (Carter you devil), and proceeded with just a slight wiggle in my backside. I could hear her laughing behind me, and I wondered – does she really watch my backside the same way I watch hers? As I stepped clear of the passageway, I turned quickly to look back and sure enough caught her doing a bit of ogling. She didn't even look embarrassed, she just smiled that smile that lights up my life. But even as I opened my mouth to comment, I saw her expression change, and I felt a vibration under my feet. Small rocks began to tumble down in the passageway, and I reached out a hand to pull her to safety, when suddenly she was gone. Honest! One second I could feel her hand as she reached out to take mine, and the next second there was nothing there, except for a vague sensation of energy, like static electricity. And the passageway began to seriously crumble.
As I jumped back to avoid the rocks now crashing down, I was in disbelief. Carter just vanished into thin air, didn't she? Please tell me she did, because if she didn't then she was buried under about a ton of rock.
(Part 2) Frustration
24 hours. I flipped the cover of my watch closed for the fifth time in as many minutes. Sam had been missing for one full day, and frustration was beginning to set in. The first few hours had been a flurry of activity. After the initial shock of seeing the rock slide bury the spot where Carter had stood, I had tried to explain to Daniel and Teal'c, who had both instinctively started to hurl rocks aside, that Carter was NOT under that pile of rubble. After a few minutes we had returned through the gate, and reported to Hammond. He had been skeptical, but had agreed to contact the Asgard to see if they had 'beamed up' Carter for some reason. At my suggestion he had also contacted the Tok'ra to let Jacob know that his daughter was missing. Then he had insisted that an engineering team be sent to stabilize the area around the gate on 432, and once it was deemed safe, volunteers had been sent through to start clearing the rubble. Every able-bodied male and female currently on base had volunteered. Shifts had been established and the digging had been goin on for at least 15 hours.
As the next shift started in digging, with Teal'c insisting on rejoining them, the pile of rocks finally neared the bottom. Daniel, just up from a restless nap had been pacing for the last 15 minutes. I had not been able to sleep, but was too tired to continue hauling rocks, so I alternately watched the crew work, and stared at my watch as I tried not to snap at Daniel when he passed in front of me for the 20th time. Mostly, I was fighting this feeling that I was the one that should be missing. This was not just the knowledge that as CO I should have been the last one through the passageway, making sure everyone was safe (although there was plenty of that guilt going on). This was a niggling fear that something had gone cosmically wrong. I had a gut feeling that when Carter and I had switched places, we had somehow messed with the Universe. Fatigue, I told myself. Just fanciful delusions brought on by fatigue. But I couldn't shake the feeling.
Just as my nerves sent me to my feet, the gate activated and I picked up my P-90 and stood back aiming at the wormhole, signaling Daniel to do likewise. I wasn't surprised to see Jacob Carter stride through, and I could see the emotions pass over his face as he looked from Danny and I to the pile of rock being moved.
"She's not under there Jake, I swear."
He nodded. "The Asgard just contacted Hammond as I reached the SGC, Jack. They did not transport Sam up to any of their ships."
Damn! Some small part of me had still been hoping that this was all that simple. That Thor had just wanted to talk to her. Unable to sit still another minute I joined Jacob and Daniel, and we started shifting rocks along with SG2 and a couple of Marines.
Two hours later we reached the bottom of the pile. Everyone had breathed a sigh of relief as it became obvious that there was no broken body to be discovered under the last rocks to be moved. At the end, Jonas and Griff handed Daniel the remains of the extra pack that Carter had been carrying.
"I'm afraid there won't be anything left of any value in this Daniel" Jonas said. "We did find this one strange looking rock with carvings on it at the bottom of the pile though. It must be of a harder mineral than the rest, as it is in one piece."
"Thanks, Jonas. I'm just grateful that the pack is the only thing we found under there" Daniel replied.
I was the only one to voice the question everyone was thinking. "So if she is not here, which I said all along by the way, and the Asgard don't have her, where the hell is she?"
Part 3 Revelations
Once back at the SGC, after quickly reporting to Hammond that the pack was the only thing recovered, I used my time in the locker room and infirmary to try to come up with a plan. 'No time to panic Jack, you need to figure out where Carter is and go find her. Carter wouldn't panic. She'd be working her butt off to rescue you.' Once in the briefing room, the others had thrown around ideas, but we were getting nowhere. Hammond listened, and asked questions, and then turned to me.
"Colonel, you haven't said a word. What do you think?"
So I laid out my plan. Jonas and Daniel should be assigned to analyze and translate the remaining artifacts found in the temple to see if they held any clues. Teal'c and I with help from any of the other team leaders who had time, would go over past mission logs to see if we could identify any planet that might be advanced enough to have developed such a transportation device. Then I turned to Jacob.
"It would really be a big help of the Tok'Ra would put out the word to their agents to be on the lookout for any such technology, or any rumors of the capture of a Tauri."
"Consider it done, Colonel" Selmak replied to my surprise.
That was how our next week was spent. Jonas and Daniel surrounded themselves with books and chalkboards, while Teal'c and I were up to our elbows in mission reports. Luckily, Major Griff had offered to personally go through all of SG2's reports, and several other CO's had stopped in to help as they had time. Finally, at the end of the week, we had narrowed it down to just a few files that had possibilities. As Teal'c and I reviewed these again, Jonas, Daniel, and Janet came in bearing sandwiches and drinks.
"Janet said we needed a break, and thought you might, too."
"Yeah, these old eyes are getting a bit bleary"
We compared notes for awhile. And then perhaps because I was tired, I blurted out the thought that had been on my mind all week.
"It really should be me out there, and Carter here figuring this all out. She'd be doing a much better job than I am. I hate this, not knowing where she is and feeling helpless." Jonas snorted. Daniel frowned, and Teal'c, well that eyebrow did a distinct dance upward. Janet had a sudden interest in her shoes. Then to my surprise, three voices responded in quick succession as if they could not hold back.
"I disagree, O'Neill."
"Yeah, Jack. I don't think that you would want to put Sam through that again."
"She didn't do too well the last time you were missing, Colonel."
Janet's head snapped up and she glared at the other three.
"What are you talking about? Doc, would you care to enlighten me?"
She shook her head. "Sam would kill me."
Four sets of eyes held a silent conversation. Finally, Janet sighed and shrugged.
Daniel cleared his throat. "I was only here for the first time you were missing. I just know Sam was obsessed. She worked day and night to get you back from Edora. We couldn't get her to slow down."
Now it was Janet's turn to snort. "Except of course when I snuck Valium into her coffee. And that day that she collapsed from exhaustion."
I remembered how thin she had been when I got back, and how the sparkle had been gone from her eyes. It hadn't been until months later when we confessed to feelings we shouldn't have that I had realized just what a jerk I had been. I don't think I ever even thanked her for getting me home. Of course I had no clue how to apologize so long after the fact.
"There's more though, isn't there?"
"The second time you were missing, I think she felt guilty since she was the one that had asked you to consider blending with Kanan,' Jonas added.
I looked at Doc Fraiser for confirmation.
She sighed in resignation. "She did, but that was only part of it. She was sure that after what Kanan did, she had lost your respect and friendship. She didn't think you would ever be able to forgive her for asking you to do something that she knew you hated the thought of."
I had figured she was feeling guilty, even though I didn't blame her. It had been my decision. But this explained so much. She had been quiet and reserved during my recovery, hovering when she thought I was sleeping, and rarely around when I was awake. And when she did visit, I had felt her watching me warily on more than one occasion, as if she was afraid of me. Damn, she had been more screwed up than I had been. As revealing as that all was, it suddenly hit me.
"Wait, Jonas said that it was the last time I was missing that Carter didn't do too well. Kanan wasn't the last time I was missing."
Three sets of eyes turned to Teal'c. That was certainly curious. And for the first time since I had known him he was actually avoiding looking at me.
"I do not think that it is my place to reveal Major Carter's private thoughts, O'Neill."
"He might as well know all of it," Janet whispered.
"Very well." He raised his head up and looked me in the eyes. "Last time, she cried."
There was nothing that I could say to that. I could count on one hand the number of times Dr. Major Sam Carter had cried. In each case, someone had died or was dying. Interestingly enough, twice that someone had been Daniel. But for her to have cried because I was missing? What the hell were we doing to each other? I rubbed my hand over my face to clear my thoughts, looked at my friends, and opened my mouth to reply. Instead I just shook my head and left the room.
Part 4 Discovery
Two hours later, Daniel found me in my office. I was expecting him to try to get me to talk about my feelings for Carter, so I was pretty shocked by his excited exclamation.
"We think we know where Sam is!"
It turned out that they had been reviewing the mission reports that Teal'c and I had flagged as possibly having advanced enough technology to have transported Carter, when something had jogged Jonas' memory. One of the planets SG1 had visited 6 months ago, called Novorom, had a population that had been fighting off the Goa'uld for 50 years. Unfortunately, in one attack 5 years ago, their main science center had been destroyed, and several of their top scientists had been killed. Carter had been in doohickey heaven, studying their defense technology and helping the new generation of geeks to understand how they worked, as much of the knowledge and documentation had been lost in that previous attack. Jonas had spent some time studying their history and culture, and even Teal'c and I had been busy talking to the men in charge of their defense talking strategies and trading weapons knowledge. Two further missions had negotiating teams working to trade technology, and another mission to study their defense shields was planned.
"You know that rock that Jonas found with Sam's pack? Well it turned out to be in a different language than the rest of the writings in the temple, and I couldn't translate it. Jonas thought it look familiar, but it wasn't until we were looking at those files that he realized that it was a form of the Novoromian language. By the way, I think those people are descendants of people brought from ancient Rome, and Novorom may actually have literally been New Rome."
"Daniel!"
"Ok, so the writings on the rock, and yes it is just a rock, are basically an S.O.S. It translates to: SEND HELP. BAST ATTACKED. And then a symbol that is the point of origin for their planet."
"Bast?"
"A minor Goa'uld O'Neill"
"A daughter of Ra, she was the goddess of cats, or in some legends the lioness of war."
"Ok, so we go to Novorom."
"Not so fast Jack."
"Jacob! When did you get back?"
"A few hours ago, and based on what I am hearing I think my news has some relevance. When I put the word out that we were looking for planets with transporting technology, one of our agents reported in from the sector of space where Novorom is located. Thomac has infiltrated Bast's ranks, and said that she is building up forces in that region. She has attacked several planets, in hopes of gaining hosts and Naquada. We relayed to Thomac to be on the lookout for Sam, and his best guess was that she would be on one of two planets. He is going to get better intel, and get back to us. "
"So now what?"
"Now we wait for Thomac's information. The Tok'Ra have agreed to get a couple of ships to the area to stand-by for when we are ready. We would like to get Major Carter back, and wipe out this Bast in one fell swoop," Hammond replied as he joined us.
And so we waited, none too patiently. On the second day I decided that maybe I could at least use this time to have a little off the record chat with a certain General. When we got Carter back, I wanted to know my options. I was starting to think that maybe retirement was in my near future.
Or not. My talk with Hammond was a bit of a revelation. Seems the man had contingency plans on top of contingency plans for the day when either Carter or I finally came to talk to him off the record. He even updated them and reviewed them with the JC every six months to be sure that he would never have to loose one of us from the SGC unless that was what we really wanted. The man was a two star General for a reason. We discussed several options, including the very real possibility of an upcoming promotion to Lieutenant Colonel for Carter, which would mean she would definitely be getting her own command within the next year. In addition, if I wanted to step down as CO of SG1, he had an expanded 2IC roll for me that would include more training and recruiting duties as well as helping to map out a Beta site. He even mentioned that he had a new head of science and research position planned that he was thinking Carter might be interested in, which would mean she would have very little time for fieldwork. Sweet. Now there were only two things to work out. First and most important was to get Carter back in one piece. Then of course there was the little matter of seeing how she felt about things. That second part made the first part seem like a piece of cake.
The following days, waiting for the Tok'Ra to get back to us seemed endless. If it hadn't been for Teal'c, Daniel, and even Jonas keeping me occupied with rescue scenarios, accompanied by generous amounts of beer and pizza, I don't know how I would have stayed sane. Finally, on the fourth day, the klaxons sounded and knowing no teams were due in, we all headed to the control room.
"It's the Tok'Ra.," Sgt. Davis stated with a relieved look over his shoulder at our little group standing behind him.
"Open the Iris," Hammond ordered.
As Jacob Carter walked down the ramp he looked up at us and smiled. We all released a breath that we didn't even realize we were holding.
"Jacob, Selmak, join us in the briefing room."
When Jacob finished relating the information that Thomac had passed on, I was stunned.
"You mean they really WERE after me and got Sam by mistake?"
"Yes. When Bast's mothership entered their orbit and starting to attack, they got worried that their defences would not hold. They had been working on the transportation technology, and on the chance that they might need some help, they used DNA they had collected from your team when you were there to track you for several days. When it looked like Bast was winning, they tried to transport you from P3X- 437. However the technology was not very sophisticated, and you and Sam were standing too close together. They could only transport one person, and had hoped to get you Jack, as they wanted your help with battle plans. However, they did not plan on the vibration from the beam causing the rock fall. Once they realized they had Sam, they decided to make the best of it and not try again in case they caused more damage. They did leave the carving to let you know where Jack, or as it turned out Sam, was."
"Is she OK?"
"As of Thomac's last contact with them, she was fine, and the Jaffa that are on the planet do not know of her presence. She is hiding out with a group of the Novoromians working on building up the defenses and upgrading their weapons. They provided Thomac with all of in the information they had gathered on the number and position of the Jaffa and the Goa'uld, so we have a good idea of what we will be up against when we attack. The group in hiding will be ready to lend assistance as soon as that happens, and we should have surprise in our favor."
"So what are we waiting for? What's the plan of attack?"
Four hours later, plans solidified, we geared up and set out to get Carter back and kick some Goa'uld ass. SG1 and Jacob gated to a planet near Novorom where the two ships and a group of Tok'Ra waited. The rest of the SG units to be deployed would gate directly to Novorom, with any luck arriving shortly after one of the ships did. The second ship would stay in orbit with the Mothership, and Thomac would ring the Tok'Ra onboard to fight Bast and her guards. It was all a matter of timing.
Amazingly, that is exactly how it all worked. No surprises, nothing that the Tok'Ra had forgotten to mention. The Jaffa on the planet were taken completely by surprise, and those around the gate were lured away by the fighting so the other SG teams were able to gate in unscathed. The second ship was able to take out the Mothership and capture Bast. And once the fighting started, the Novoromians had joined in using the shields and weapons they had been working on in hiding. As we rounded up the Jaffa, and began to aid the wounded who were mostly those Novoromians who were being held by the Jaffa at the time of attack, organized chaos reigned. Through it all I was alert for any signs of Carter. Then suddenly I spotted a blond head through the crowd. Even as I stretched up on tip-toe to try to get a better view, I heard Teal'c call my name and saw him point.
"O'Neill!"
"Yeah, is that her?"
"It is indeed," and he smiled.
"Carter!!!"
"Sir?!"
And then she was in front of me, looking tired, and dirty, and more beautiful than anything I had ever seen.
***** END FLASHBACK*****
So now here I stand, with a big-ass grin on my face, and something incredible is happening. I can actually see two separate paths laid out before me. Two realities diverging. This is one of those moments. One path will keep us fighting side by side together. Certainly not an unpleasant future, as long as I have her by my side. Until the next time one of us is missing, or hurt, or worse. The other path will mean facing some changes that are uncertain, for the possibility of a different future together that is even less certain. But suddenly I know, without a doubt, which is the path to take. So I step forward, and wrap my arms around my future, and pull her in close. And with a sigh, she wraps her arms around me, and leans in as if she too has seen and decided.
"I knew you would come for me," she whispers, her breath against my ear making me shiver in delight.
I can't resist giving her a quick kiss on her neck, as my arms tighten instinctively.
"Wild horses, Babe," I whisper back. "Let's go home."
The End!!!
Story Notes: Season: 7 (Daniel's back)
Spoilers: Tiny ones for 100 days, Abyss, Paradise Lost, TBFtGoG, Point of View
Archive: SJD, yes. Anyone else, please just ask.
Notes: Ok, this is my first fic… it has taken me forever to write, beta and then figure out the whole posting thing…. Constructive comments on anything I screwed up appreciated! Feed back on the story craved!
Spoilers: Tiny ones for 100 days, Abyss, Paradise Lost, TBFtGoG, Point of View
Archive: SJD, yes. Anyone else, please just ask.
Notes: Ok, this is my first fic… it has taken me forever to write, beta and then figure out the whole posting thing…. Constructive comments on anything I screwed up appreciated! Feed back on the story craved!
End Notes: There originally was a part 5 to this, but I kind of like this ending. If I get enough feedback, I will post the rest as an epilogue!
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]