George Hammond sat in his office and stared blankly out the door. So much had gone wrong in the last 48 hours, so much. Several people were seriously injured on P3X-whatever, and one had died, she had died.
He remembered telling Samantha that you try to tell yourself that every man and woman under your command meant the same to you, each has to be equally valuable if you're going to make the kinds of decisions that affect their lives, the way he had too. But you can't help it; you get closer to some people, you never want to loose anyone… He choked up at that point and had to leave. He wanted to say that although you would never treat them any different, you always held your breath when you sent them into harms way. Sam knew and understood; he could see it in her eyes.
He could also see the surprise in her eyes when he had asked her to speak at the memorial, but then she understood.
Now he sat here with a finished mission report ready to deliver it to that NID goon. Did the NID think he really wanted to loose her, that he would purposely do anything to harm her? No, it was just political posturing and he knew it. But, damn it, didn't they know how bad it hurt to loose her?
Every time an injured person came back through the gate, a knot tied itself up in George's stomach. But when her cold, battered, dead body came through the gate, his heart fell to the ground. It was all he could do, not to drop to the floor of the gate room and cry like a baby. His legs felt weak like they were going to give out on him, his mouth went cottony dry, his eyes burned like coals of fire when he looked into Samantha's crying eyes. They held each other's gaze for a moment and then looked away, watching as the wounded and dead – her – were whisked away to the infirmary.
He heard himself ask for a report, what had happened? Daniel rattled off something, the only thing he heard was a Jaffa shot her. Colonel Dixon explained how O’Neill had been shot, and the others. George nodded his head and followed them to the infirmary, unable to speak.
Dr. Janet Fraiser’s body had been placed in a side room, so he let himself in, allowing himself a moment to say, I'm sorry, and good-bye. He even allowed a few tears as he took her hand and held it close. He reached down kissing her good-bye, for one last time, then left to check on the wounded.
George took out a small box from his desk drawer and opened it, he had intended to give it to her last night but things got busy and they never managed to have dinner as planned. Now he planned to ask Cassandra if she could be buried with it; tears returned as he thought of burying her. He placed his face in his hands and cried.
Wiping the tears from his face, he looked once again at the box on his desk, a small diamond heart pendant. It was all he could give her until he retired, but knew it would be enough.
He placed it safely back in his desk and left his office, to give his report to the NID agent.
Story Notes: For my roomy
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