Moments: Settling
Holy Hannah, don't kid a kidder, Sam! Don't try to fool your old man that this is everything you want because I know better. I'm pretty sure that, under that façade, you aren't as happy as you deserve to be. I'm gonna die and I want to know that my little girl is going to be taken care of; happy. I don't think that Pete guy is gonna cut it. He's okay, I guess, and he seems to make you happy - ish - but that doesn't mean that he's everything you want, and certainly he's less than you really need.
That damned pretender had the nerve to call me dad. Dad? I'm not his dad; don't wanna be. Jack O'Neill can call me dad and we can joke about it because he's my kind of guy. I don't even know Pete. Dad? What are you thinking, Sam? Probably too much, as usual. You're suffering from genius fatigue, or something. That's gotta be it because you can't be serious about going through with this. If you do, I'll support you and welcome him to the family. Then maybe he can call me dad. Heck, I won't live to see it anyway.
I've watched you and Jack O'Neill over the years and you're professional, keeping it all boxed in tight. Friends, but not intimate. CO and subordinate in a very close knit team. The best. One of the finest groups of people I've had the honor and privilege to work with. You've stuck to the regs and I admire and respect that, but I don't want to see you make this mistake just because you're honorable people. I brought you up that way, and I'm proud of you Sam, but it's time you put yourself first. Jack's a good man. The best.
I always figured you'd end up with him. He has his faults, don't we all, but he loves you, sweetheart. It's so plain to see and you must be the only one who doesn't. He's way better than simply a good man. How the hell can you marry that Pete guy when you could have a man like Jack O'Neill? Pete's okay, will probably make someone a good husband, but not you Sam. You need more. He isn't enough. Maybe I'm being too much the father - no one's good enough for my little girl - and I could be wrong.
No way, I'm not wrong! Do I think that Jack's good enough for you? Hell, probably not. Okay, so I am playing pernickety dad, but I like and respect Jack a lot. Besides, you love him and that's what really counts. Just admit it and he's yours, Sam. I wish you'd let yourself feel it; let it out and act on it. Both of you should. It's important and it has to be now, before you go marrying Pete and making the biggest mistake of your life. Pete doesn't even look like he's old enough to shave, for Christ's sake!
Okay, so I'm prone to a little exaggeration, but he seems so callow. He's no Jack O'Neill, that's for sure; nowhere near good enough for my daughter. Jack's not perfect, far from it, but he's one helluva man. I bet he'd give you a heck of a ride. You'd be good for each other. Just an old, dying man's opinion, but pretty valid. You've changed so much Sam. You've become so much more well-rounded, more human, a better soldier, a better woman. He's had a lot to do with that. He's already been good for you, and you for him.
We've had our differences, but he's not how he appears on the surface. It can take a while to warm to him, and some people probably never do. For those who make the effort, he's worth it, Sam; he's worth a lot. Reminds me a little of another guy - me! Fathers and husbands; you know what they say about women being attracted to guys like their dads. You could do worse, you could probably do better, but your mum and I had a few good years and I think she was happy, despite everything. If only she was here now.
No point thinking about that. Strange how the mind wanders around when you face your own mortality. I've been here before and got a few extra years because of you, Sam. We got so much closer and for that I am truly grateful. I hated that we were so distant, and Mark too. I had my chance to make it good with him, and that means I can rest in peace. I don't want to leave you Sam, but I must, so I want to go knowing you'll be okay. I guess you will, whatever you decide. I hope so.
A few good extra years - yeah! I could never have dreamed or imagined it. What a life you lead. And I thought you were stuck inside some mountain doing a dull scientific job. All that while you were out there saving our asses. Then I got the chance to do the same. I can die a happy man; satisfied that I did my best, and proud of the heritage I leave behind. That's more than a lot of folks can say. Your mom would have been proud too. She loved you so much. Me too. It's hard to go.
Will I be joining your mom when I die? Not sure I believe in that, but my eyes have been opened to new possibilities over the last few years. What an experience! There's been sorrow and joy, pain and comfort. Selmak has been. interesting company and I miss that. Life - can't say I haven't lived it, and neither can you. Who'd have thought that my little girl would do so much. I always knew you had it in you to be great, Sam, and I was right. You're an extraordinary woman, and deserve an extraordinary life, and an extraordinary love.
Pete isn't the one who can give you that. Yeah, so I wasn't impressed - go figure! You know it deep down, too. If you stay with him, you're just settling and I don't want to see that happen. Don't miss the chance to have something vital and special in your life, Sam. There's more to life than ambition and career; your mom showed me that big time. She gave my life meaning and balance. I don't know if Jack can do that, but I think he has more chance than your Pete. Love is important Sam, more than you realise.
Don't deny it to yourself. Go for it. Stop trying to be in control and go with your gut. The gut normally speaks loud and clear, take it from someone who knows. Don't be afraid to take the pain along with the good stuff. I'm guessing Jack O'Neill wouldn't be easy to live with, but suspect he'd be worth it. I bet you're not easy to live with either. I figure that you might find it a whole lot easier together than apart. I hope you take the chance to find out. Taking chances is what life is all about.
It was damned hard for us when your mom died. I loved and missed her; blamed myself even more than either of you did. I didn't do you or Mark justice in raising you. You needed a mom, but you both turned out pretty good despite my best efforts at sabotage! I wonder what life would have been like if she'd been around? Won't dwell on that. I know she would have wanted the best for her beautiful daughter. She might have taught you that better than I did. She wouldn't want you to merely settle. Don't settle, Sam; live!
The End
Story Notes: Moments: Email: su_freund@ficwithfins.com
Website: http://www.ficwithfins.com/
Content Warnings: Use of mild language
Season: 8
Spoilers: Threads
Sequel/Series Info: Drabble series of POVs based on a moment from an episode
Status: Complete
Archive: My site, Jackfic, SJD
Author's Note: Thanks to Trish for the "encouragement and direction", which inspired me to write this ficlet - she wanted a Jacob PoV for this episode, and here it is. Called a drabble ficlet because each individual paragraph is 100 words long. This series is not necessarily written or appearing in episode order so does not follow a particular sequence - except my whim in writing them.
Website: http://www.ficwithfins.com/
Content Warnings: Use of mild language
Season: 8
Spoilers: Threads
Sequel/Series Info: Drabble series of POVs based on a moment from an episode
Status: Complete
Archive: My site, Jackfic, SJD
Author's Note: Thanks to Trish for the "encouragement and direction", which inspired me to write this ficlet - she wanted a Jacob PoV for this episode, and here it is. Called a drabble ficlet because each individual paragraph is 100 words long. This series is not necessarily written or appearing in episode order so does not follow a particular sequence - except my whim in writing them.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]