"Well Sir, I'll see you later, I have to get started on the mission report." Sam said as she got up from the table. Jack smiled and nodded to her and went back down to reading Daniel's notes over on the mission in case he missed something.
Jacks eyes was just starting to glaze over and Daniel's words started pooling together when he heard the excited whispers behind him. Glancing up he saw that most of the cafeteria was gone except for a couple of airmen and SG-12 spread about at tables around the room.
Sighing he rubbed the back of his neck painfully before trying to re-read the same paragraph over several times. He only half coniously heard his name before some names pricked at his senses. Hears tuning into behind him, he started at the paper in front of him while depicting the conversation behind him.
"So, what's the story? Did you talk to Simmons? Did he confirm what I said earlier?"
"Yup! You where soooo right. I thought you where exaggerating when you said Carter came out of O'Neills quarters last night. I can't believe Hammond lets them get away with it. I mean once or twice on base, but from the sounds of it O'Neill is an animal on base, he can't keep his hands off her."
"I know, I heard the same thing from an airmen who was on duty the other day and she said that she heard screams. *male* screams."
"What did he hurt himself?"
"No, Stupid. Carter was wild, the airmen said the screams went on for hours and he *wasn't* in pain."
Jack coughed as he chocked on his coffee and he spluttered as he tried to breath. Colonel Writhers from SG-12 looked at him strangely and Jack waved him off mentioning that he was fine. Thinking he'd given himself away he glanced nervously around the room, but the conversation behind him didn't sease.Sitting back down, he listened intently to next part of the conversation.
"Well you know what I heard? Hammond is sleeping with the doctor."
"No way!!!!"
"Oh now thats bullshit, hes got a wife hasn't he? And kids."
"I'm serious, guys. Airmen Jeffrey's told me, and he said that he always calls her up there and she doesn't leave for hours, and she *always* looks really, really tierd when she leaves."
"That's just stupid. Everyone knows Janet is always called up their because one of the teams is sick and anyway, she's going out with Daniel Jackson."
"Really? God, now that guy is soooo hot. But I liked his hair before he cut it."
"Me too, but I'd rather O'Neill if he wasn't taken. I mean that grey hair, god that is such a turn on."
"Shhh. If Carter heard you you'd end up as the next lab experiment."
"Oh come on, she couldn't hurt a fly. No offence, I like her and everything, she saves the world and stuff, but it's so unfair that she gets the three hottest guys on base."
"Not just those 3 ladies. I have found out that concerning our last conversation, Carter was in fact sleeping with Makepeace."
"Get out of here. Makepeace? Didn't he get kicked out or something?"
"Where have you been the last 5 months? Under a rock? He was sleeping with Carter and O'Neill found out and got rid of him. Ah ha, so never cross Carter, she'd do the exact same thing."
"Oh I agree with Michelle. Remember Captain long legs , um Rogers I think her name was. Anyway, you know how we all thought Daniel was sleeping with her, and then we thought O'Neill was sleeping with her?"
"Yeah. I even walked in on her and O'Neill laughing....and his hand was on her shoulder...."
"Really???Wow."
"Anyway *ladies*, remember her? Well news is that Carter walked in on them having it on....on Carters desk as well, and anyway Carter told the Doctor and they came up with a disease and put it in her, and now she's in Africa or something with a life threating disease and the only herb to help her is in Africa."
Jack rolled his eyes. This was absolutely absurd. Never before had he heard such garbage. Everyone knew that Rogers had been transferred because she was suspected of having smuggling out alien technology and he'd only *arrested* her on the desk. There was no sexual activity involved, as pretty as her legs where, but no and Carter had been their with a camera for evidence to back it up.
Is this all they did all day? Discuss who was sleeping with who - no matter how *untrue* it was. Truth be told some of the incidence that they described where all simply coincidental. Carter and himself where not sleeping together, no matter how much he fantasized it. But there was nothing, they where friends. She was his 21C and he was her Colonel nothing more.
"Don't you think this is getting old guys?"
"What do you mean?"
"Yeah? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well I mean, we've all been here for 4 years right?"
"Yeah, so?"
"No, I came a year ago."
"Oh yeah, well *most* of us have been here for that long."
"Quit dawdling, whats up?"
"Nothing, I'm just saying is that why are we so obsessed with what SG-1 does?"
Jack smiled, his ears perking. That was a good question, one that he wanted to know.
"Well, because...."
"What's your problem today?"
"Nothing, I'm just saying...."
"What the hell are you trying to say Shelly?"
"I.....forget it. Don't worry mild crazy talk."
"No, you don't just say something without meaning it. Your not O'Neill you can't just say something and then take it back."
"Oh that reminds me, I got the video from the surveillance guys on when Carter and O'Neill where in the room when they had that truth lie detector thingy."
"Really, how'd you get that?"
"You slept with the Rielly didn't you? I knew it, by that smug grin you wore all day."
"Yeah, well we where wrong girls, he's bigger than we thought, the muscles from his arms have gone into his-"
"Wait a minute, Shelly. What where you saying before?"
"Oh, nothing. Just that you know how Carter told us O'Neill was this big?"
"Yeah. I can't believe she said that. You know I never thought one of them would admit it, but she just turned around and basically said O'Neill was an animal in bed."
"Those where her exact words?"
"Oh I forgot you wern't here. I'll have to fill you in."
"On what?"
"Oh well I might as well tell you now. We where discussing their sizes, and O'Neill and Teal'c come into the he room and made some phonny excuse about helping the Major with something, but we all knew that they where going to the gate room to have a three some and-"
"A three some. Carter, O'Neill and Teal'c?"
"Yeah, anyway. They go to leave and Carter turns around and goes 'He's great if you wanted to know and he's this big at his best' and then she leaves and slaps him on the ass as they left."
Jacks jaw fell open and he blinked. Why the hell would Carter say that? And more importantly by the sounds of it, she *thought* he was big.....a big grin formed over his face and he gazed into his coffee cup with a smug grin.
"She didn't slap him."
"She did too, I was there."
"So was I."
"What ever you want Shelly."
"So she didn't say he was wild in bed?"
"Well aparently he is good in bed, I mean you all heard about the whole loosing the memory thing didn't you?"
"No, was this when they went missing for a month?"
"Their always missing, what's the difference?"
"I know, I so agree. But no, they went to some planet and they lose their memory, they couldn't remember who they where. Anyway, we heard from Simmons, who overheard McKensie talking-"
"Isn't he that councilor dude?"
"Yeah, Apparently SG-1 use him all the time, anyway-"
"I've been to him once, he's weird."
"*Anyway* as I was saying Simmons told us they he found out that while they where trapped O'Neill and Carter had it off on thier planet, even though they couldn't remember each other, they still felt connected."
"This is starting to sound like 'Bold and the Beautiful."
"I know, isn't it cool?"
"Do you wanna hear the rest or not?"
"Sorry Sandra, go on."
"Yes, so remember how Carter had that *awful* hair style for a while?"
"Yeah, she should go to the hairdressers in maple, their good and they are cute."
"Oh I've been there. I went there for the Jenifer Aniston look and it turned out fab."
"Oh yeah, looks great."
"Yeah, so we all remember right? Well word has it she tore it out, he was that good on the planet that she was pulling her hair out."
"God. That's weird."
"I don't think it is, I mean a man like O'Neill, how could you contain yourself?"
"So thats why he had that huge Scratch mark on his back."
"How the hell do you know? What aren't you telling us?"
"Nothing I was getting that blood test done, when SG-1 was getting their physical and I must say Daniel Jackson is in prime form."
"Why didn't you tell me, I could of gone with you for moral support."
"Yeah, that would of worked."
"So she scratched him?"
"Hey is it true he has a tattoo on his thigh with the name 'Sam' ingraved with a heart?"
"I don't know, they wern't exactly walking around in their underwear."
"I would pay tickets for that."
"How'd you find out about that?"
"I heard it."
"Oh."
"Hey Colonel! Janet says your due for your Physical 10 minutes ago."
Jack looked up from his cup as he saw Sam standing in front of him smiling. Behind him gossip whirled into a frenzy and he stood up slowly gathering his notes. "Sorry, Guess I lost track of time." Jack said noticing that all the eyes where upon him as he stood up.
"That's ok. Janet said she was worried that the cut on your back was infected." Sam replied casually taking one of his notepads.
Jack bit his lip as Sam looked at him concerned. "Ok, I'm coming. Just go on ahead, I'll catch up." Sam looked at him confused before shrugging and heading out of the room. Jack turned to the ladies gossiping behind him and finally got a good look at them all. Grinning he came over to them. "Evening ladies."
"Sir." They all retorted, one gulping and sitting back slightly.
"Just to set the record straight. You shouldn't talk about Major Carters hair like that, she's awfully embarrassed about the whole incident, what with the General finding out and all." He grinned and mentioned to the coffee one of them was drinking. " Carefully what you eat, what with that virus going around. Poor Captin Rogers came down with the same thing, tragedy really, we wouldn't you to come down with anything now would we? Well have a nice day." Jack said cheerfully before walking out of the cafeteria and turning smugly to see them all inspecting their food.
"What's with the smile?" Carter asked as he stepped outside. "Not like you to be looking forward to the infirmary. Maybe you *are* sick." Sam joked.
"No, I'm just fine. Just setting the record straight." Jack said slyly pulling her into the elevator. "What's say we blow this base after the infirmary and find us some food in town."
"Sounds good to me, Sir." Sam answered with a smile and they stepped out of the elevator.
~Nikki.H.
Well that went on longer than I expected.
Story Notes: Author: Nikki.H. scc@theplanet.net.au
Spoilers: Foothold, Beneath the surface, upgrades, season 4 basically.
Archive: SJA yes, Heliopolis yes
Notes: Well this story was 'by demand' that Jack have his own version of 'Getting your facts straight', and I'm not one to disappoint *g*. Hope this is what you where after!
Feedback: yes please, everyone was really nice for sending me feeback on th e last one, I hope you do the same. Thankyou to those that did, it was much apreciated, and thanks for Tim 'the man' for betaing for me.
Spoilers: Foothold, Beneath the surface, upgrades, season 4 basically.
Archive: SJA yes, Heliopolis yes
Notes: Well this story was 'by demand' that Jack have his own version of 'Getting your facts straight', and I'm not one to disappoint *g*. Hope this is what you where after!
Feedback: yes please, everyone was really nice for sending me feeback on th e last one, I hope you do the same. Thankyou to those that did, it was much apreciated, and thanks for Tim 'the man' for betaing for me.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]