SG-1 was waiting outside the infirmary while mini-Jack was being checked out by Doctor Fraiser. Jack was contemplating the events of last week and decided to voice some of his worries.
“Carter, I’ve been thinking - don’t look like that. Why do you think Thor likes me? You think it’s got something to do with my err… ‘genetic superiority’?”
Genetic superiority… yeah, that didn’t sound half bad, he thought.
Carter tried to keep from rolling her eyes and blinked instead. “Sir?”
“We all know how diplomatic I can be when it comes to alien alliances. And still, Thor likes me. I think. Why is that? Besides for the fact that I might be the key to saving their little grey butts some day.”
Okay, so that made him feel pretty important, but he would also be insulted if Thor was only interested in his DNA.
Carter smiled a little and pondered the question. “I don’t know, but I’m sure it’s more than that. I’d bet your wicked sense of humor has got something to do with it.”
His eyes almost popped out of his head. “What?! My wicked…” She was smirking at him. “Carter! I don’t have a wicked sense of humor!”
“Yes, you do.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Daniel! Tell Carter I don’t have a wicked sense of humor,” he said turning towards Daniel who had been talking to Teal’c.
Daniel stopped talking to Teal’c and turned towards Jack, blinking. “What?”
“Do you think I have a wicked sense of humor?”
Daniel looked away contemplating his answer for a few seconds. “No…,” he said slowly. And when Jack started turning back to Sam to say something similar to ‘see?’ Daniel continued, keeping a straight face. “I think you have a bad sense of humor.”
And with that he looked towards Jack again who froze and turned back towards him, his face a picture of shock.
“What?!” he exclaimed.
“I think you have a bad sense of humor,” Daniel repeated. Jack gave him his best death glare and tried to put as much threat in his voice as he could, when he said: “Daniel!”
Daniel merely shrugged.
Squinting his eyes, he looked at Daniel and wondered since when he couldn’t scare him anymore with his ‘Big, Bad Colonel’- attitude. He sighed and turned back towards Carter, who was now grinning at him. He hated it when she did that.
‘Why?’ a voice in his head suddenly asked.
It did… things to him. And these things were bad, very bad.
‘Things, you say?’ the voice continued.
‘Yes, things.’
‘What kind of things?’
Jack gave his inner voice a mental death glare and he could picture it raising its hands in a defensive manner and taking a step back while mouthing ‘okay’.
Deciding to ignore that voice and Carter’s grin, he turned towards Teal’c for some help.
“T.” Jack gestured with his arms towards Teal’c. The Jaffa assumed this to be his cue to share his opinion.
“I do not believe you have a,” Teal’c paused and tilted his head, “wicked sense of humor. However, I do think it is rather peculiar, as is most Tau’ri humor.”
“Right. Thanks, I think,” he muttered and Teal’c responded by bowing his head. He should have known he’d get this kind of answer as this was Teal’c after all.
He looked at Carter again and saw that she was *still* grinning. Even more so than before, if that was even possible. Had he missed something? One look back at Teal’c gave him his answer. Was that a *smile* on the Jaffa’s face? He squinted his eyes and studied Teal’c’s face for a moment. It was indeed a smile.
He couldn’t believe it! His team was ganging up against him? Was the meaning of authority completely lost on them? Was he losing his touch? Or had he missed yet another memo saying that it was “make-fun-of-your-CO”-day?
Turning back towards Carter, he started glaring at her, deciding that he would take out his frustration on her. She was the one who had started this in the first place anyway.
… and she just wouldn’t stop grinning. Trying to look innocent and failing miserably. He really should put an end to that grin, because those things were only getting worse and weren’t doing anything good to his mood.
‘But you *like* those things,’ his inner voice mocked him.
‘No, I don’t. They’re bad.’
‘Why?’ his inner voice asked him and Jack wondered how old it was. Was it even possible for a man his age to have a 5 year old inner voice? He should ask someone sometime… or maybe not.
‘They just are!’ Jack answered in frustration. He hoped that that would make it keep its mouth shut. He was really getting fed up with all this.
‘Well, you still like ‘em.’
His inner voice really needed to learn when it was time to shut up.
‘No, I don’t.’
‘Yes, you do.’
‘I don’t.’
‘You do.’
‘I don’t!’
‘Then why aren’t you doing something against them?’ came the smart reply.
Jack decided he’d had enough and while he mentally smacked his inner voice upside the head, he said in his best commanding voice:
“Major, I do NOT have a wicked sense of humor. Is that understood?”
That sobered her up. Carter straightened herself and answered, “yes, Sir”.
In the corner of his eye he could see Daniel and Teal’c share a look and did Daniel just roll his eyes?
At least the grin on Carter’s face had disappeared and along with it those things. It was a relief to see that there was some sense of authority and respect left in his team. Or at least in one of them.
‘You happy now?’ his inner voice asked him while it was rubbing the back of its head.
He ignored the question, but did wonder ‘what now?’ since everyone had gone quiet. And apparently that was his fault.
Carter cleared her throat. “I have to go. There are some experiments waiting in my lab that I need to check on. I’ll see you guys later.”
“Later, Sam,” Daniel said.
Teal’c just inclined his head.
“See you, Carter.”
And with that she went back to her lab to do whatever important stuff she’s always doing. Suddenly a feeling of loss came over him, like he was missing something.
‘Some things, maybe?’ his inner voice supplied. Jack thought it better just ignore that voice completely because it wouldn’t do him any good arguing with it.
Instead he considered the things he had left to do that day. After Fraiser was done checking the kid they had a meeting with General Hammond to sort out this whole mess. After that he could do a workout with Teal’c – he hadn’t done a thing in the last week after all. And by that time it would be a good moment to pay a little visit to the labs.
‘Thought so.’
The End
Story Notes: Author's notes: I wrote this down on paper half a year ago or so, but it never got typed up until now. It's just something that suddenly popped up in my head and I needed to write it down. As always, thank you Arrietty for betareading. :-)
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]