"in each person's life a huge illusion called the first love"
'Out of sleep' by 'Annis mansor'
*******************************************************
there are things that can never change..
that what you have always believed,
but obviously it is not the truth,
and why are you so angry,
you ask yourself this question over and over again,
jack oneill is with a beautiful and a nice woman,
he even looks happy and carefree,
where's the surprise,
it's so normal..
you are engaged and wearing a ring yourself,
a nice handsome guy, you can marry him,
start a family with him and have his children,
he has changed your life,
after long years of loneliness,
death of many good people you really cared for,
feeling that you are getting old,
you are approaching 40,
only few years until the count down begins,
but deep inside you knew they are all excuses,
why do you even need excuses for thing like this,
being engaged to a nice guy..
it's so normal as well..
but you cant help yourself wandering
back through the years,
you remember things that used to be there,
smiles, touchs, hugs, comfort
and even kisses or just one kiss to be frank,
but along you remember other things that used to be there,
many chances that you had with Jack O'Neill,
and one thing you remember the most,
when you would watch him from across the room,
or the camp fire..
this thing is a look that you always recognized
on that man's eyes, a look of a desolated person,
a lonly person and a lost person
one look that was gone now after this woman came along,
he looks happy and you love that,
and after all this time you do know that Jack O'Neill
is a good man and he deserves to be happy,
for some reason you recall something from long ago,
your first love..
the very first boy your heart beated for ..
his name was Billy .. Billy Abotts
you almost can still hear what your mum said
when billy was gone, she told you that if you really loved
him you would want the best for him,
that you have to let him go even though it hurts you so bad,
and you just let him go
but can you let go of Jack O'Neill,
every logical sense says yes
but your heart says no..
because it's only now you realise
your first love was never Billy Abotts,
and it wasn't anyone you knew before,
it's not even the guy you are going to marry
it has always been Jack O'Neill,
you loved him even before you met,
it sounds crazy but it feels so right
it was something you can trust..
it was something meant to be..
it was something you blieved..
still loving Jack O'Neill was something you shouldn't do
with that woman in his arms.
with this diamond on your finger..
it's too late for you to make it right
it's a love that you can't have
you still blieve..
there are things that can never change..
***********************************************************
"That's all Folks"
MARYAM
Story Notes: Notes: i know they are just some thoughts saying what i blieve sam is going through, but this is my very first fic so please i need feedback, please please!! the book where i got the thought, is from my lovely friend Emma, thanks alot dear!
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]