"Bastard!"
"Sam, are you OK?"
"Colonel O'Neill is a bastard!"
Hardly the most descriptive terms, but that's the only phrase I can come up with. Janet looks at me sympathetically. Everyone knows that the Colonel can be a difficult man, but why the hell does he have to take it out on me all of the time? It wasn't my fault the mission had gone badly. Difficult to provide back-up for another team when you're pinned down in a valley trying to avoid being shot. If SG5's intell. had been better....but no..it was all my fault...again.
I'm starting to wonder why I fought so hard to get myself get reassed. here. I should have stayed at the pentagon. It wasn't like I was unhappy there. Probably would have done if I hadn't have wanted to go through the Stargate so badly. I regretted my decision the second the Colonel questioned my apointment. The General overruled him on that occasion, but O'Neill got his way when it came to SG1. Hell, that was my assigment, but he made sure his old pal Kowalski was on the team and I was shoved onto SG2.
So he hates scientist's...big deal...get over it...Maybe he would have done if the CO of SG2 hadn't got taken over by that Goa'uld. We dealt with the situation, but Major Davis didn't make it. In the absence of another officer General Hammond promoted me. I was shocked, stunned....It was way earlier than I had been expecting. Hammond gave a great speech during my promotion ceremony...wonderful...but did he have to tell the entire SGC that he'd once served with my father? I know what O'Neill thought. His face gave him away. Turned out that he'd put Kowalski in for that promotion and his best friend been passed over for a woman scientist who's daddy knew all the right people. After that our relationship was never going to improve.
Every time I opened my mouth, he came back with some snarky comment. My opinion meant nothing, hell it got to the stage where I would consciously avoid saying anything if we happened to attend the same briefing. And now this latest debacle.....SG2 were the ones who came off worst. We're the ones who have to remain on world for two weeks while we all recover from our injuries. But guess what? SG1 has to take our next assignment! Their downtime has been cancelled...for which, naturally, O'Neill blames me. Don't know why. He doesn't seem to have a life off the base. In fact, I think he's rivalling me for the number of hours overtime he puts in. I see him sometimes, wandering the corridors late at night. Not that he acknowledges my existence, but we both seem to feed on the same brand of coffee.
"There you go," Janet tells me, completing my wound dressing.
I flex my hand experimentally. It hurts.
"Thanks, Janet," I say.
"Now, I think the best thing you can do is get some rest."
"I'll try."
Gingerly, I get off the bed. My ribs protest, painfully. I guess I shouldn't have gone hand to hand with that native...at least I have the satisfaction of knowing that he came off worst. All that training definitely wasn't a waste of time. Maybe I should just go ten rounds with Colonel O'Neill....then he might believe that I'm able to do my job properly. Who am I kidding? He's special forces, I wouldn't last two minutes. Be fun though, just to see his face if I challenged him. He didn't seem to be adverse to a spot of arm wrestling.
Janet's used to me complaining about O'Neill. After all, she's the only person who can afford to give me any sympathy. Anyone else just thinks I'm off on some feminist kick. My fault really, I kinda gave that impression right from the start. If I could have that time over....
Thinking about it, the rest of SG1 are nice guys. Even Kowalski doesn't seem to hold the same kind of grudge his commanding officer does.
"Don't worry about Colonel O'Neill. He'll come around," Janet tries to reassure me.
"That's what I keep telling myself. Doesn't seem to be happening," I return.
"Sam, you're doing a good job. If you weren't Hammond would have replaced you by now."
"No one else believes that."
"Don't let one impolite, obnoxious, male chauvinistic colonel ruin your career, Sam."
"I won't, don't worry. I've dealt with worse."
"Come on, I'm all finished here, want to grab a cup of coffee?"
"As long as we can do some more O'Neill bashing."
"All you want."
We saunter along to the commissary. There aren't that many women here and we all tend to band together, not from any fear of male domination....Sometimes there are things you can only discuss with another woman.
More bad luck. The commissary is full. Yes, there are a couple of seats available, but there is no way we're going to sit with SG1...no way at all...Hell, Janet's going over there. Why won't she stop? At least don't make me sit next to him. No chance, she takes the chair opposite,
"This seat taken?" I ask the Colonel, really hoping that it is.
He looks up at me, as if I'm not worthy to scrape mud of the sole of his shoe, but does honour me with a reply,
"Suite yourself."
O'Neill doesn't just come right out and insult me. That's not his style. He'll wait until the perfect moment and then try to shoot me down....digging a knife in my back as he does so.
I sit down and he proceeds to ignore me, continuing his conversation with Kowalski. This is probably Janet's idea of therapy. Well, it's not going to work. I mouth 'help' at her, but she just shakes her head. I'd get up and leave but he'd see that as a weakness.
"How you feeling, Major?"
Looking up from my coffee in shock, I notice that Kowalski is speaking to me. He doesn't usually do that when O'Neill's around.
"Saw you take that guy down," he goes on, "Nice work."
"Thanks."
I can't help blushing a little. It was a nice thing for him to say, but O'Neill's glaring at me,
"I'm surprised," he says, no doubt seeing another opportunity to bait me.
"That I won?" I ask, rising to the challenge.
"That you've had any hand to hand at all. I mean I would have thought that Daddy would have made sure you stayed away from any actual fighting."
"I'm here, aren't I?"
"But for how much longer?"
"As long as it takes."
I smile at him, but inwardly my heart is sinking. I'm suddenly aware that new battle lines have been drawn. For some stupid reason he seems to have taken Kowalski's compliment as a personal insult. The stakes have been raised in this game we seem to be playing, and it's going to be a matter of who cracks first. I'm even more determined that it's not going to be me.
***************************************************************************
OK, I can do this, I can be nice to him. This is my new strategy. When faced with Colonel O'Neill, I'm going to be perfectly calm and polite, I am not going to let my emotions get the better of me.
He's sitting in the locker room, a cigar box in his lap. From what I can see, it looks as if he's flipping through some pictures. SG1 just came back from a mission...the one SG2 were supposed to go on.... According to Dr. Jackson all they found was yellow sand and some blue crystals. I've had one sent down to the lab. I might as well take a look at it....after all it isn't like I have anything better to do. SG2 still aren't cleared for gate travel and it's driving us all stir crazy.
"No offence, Colonel, but this becomes the women's locker room in....well now, actually," I begin.
I need to change into my uniform, but O'Neill acts as if he hasn't heard. That box is definitely holding his attention....but then again so does Nintendo.
"You don't have to hurry on my account," I add.
Curious, I wander over to him, catching a glimpse of one of the pictures. It's O'Neill with a woman and a boy. His wife and son, I guess. Wow....someone actually married the guy. Brave woman.
"Nice, you have a family," I continue.
"Yes," he replies.
"I'm an aunty myself. My brother moved to Santiago, so I don't get to see him much, he has two kids now, a boy and a girl, I miss them like hell. I don't get out there near enough."
Yes, I'm babbling, but that's probably because he's not being actively unpleasant. It seems he's got a new tactic....ignoring me completely. He stands to put the box back in his locker. With new determination I try again,
"I see you feel the same way..."
"Bye Sam," he mutters and heads out of the door...almost knocking over Dr. Jackson on the way.
"Jack seems very...focused," he observes
"Yeah," I reply.
Well, that was weird. O'Neill called me Sam....I didn't think he even knew what my name was! The fact that another man has just come into what is supposed to be the women's locker room escapes me for a moment,
"He was looking at pictures of his family, I guess he must be in a hurry to get home. I didn't even know that he was married."
"Oh, he isn't," Jackson informs me. "He was but they separated after his son died."
Oh My God, and there was I going on about my family and how much I miss them....O'Neill doesn't have one at all.
During the next few hours I managed to get the whole story out of Dr. Jackson. I didn't know what to say. I had never even imagined...Poor guy. The last thing I wanted was to feel sorry for someone who was supposed to be my sworn enemy, but I couldn't help myself. From what Jackson said it looked like O'Neill's life had fallen apart when Charlie died and his marriage disintegrated. He was holding it together now, but I found myself wondering how fragile that bond was. If I ever wanted amunition against him, this was it. I could really hurt him. Having that power should have made me feel good. It didn't. Destroying him wasn't what I had in mind.
I guess I should have realised that the man in the locker room hadn't been the real O'Neill. He was too nice. Silent, but far too agreeable. I had nothing but good intentions in mind, when I told him where his double might have gone, I swear. But O'Neill berated me for not telling him earlier. How could I. I'd only just worked it out myself. He yelled at me for a while before taking off with the rest of SG1. This time I just sat back and took it. Damn, but I really did felt sorry for him. Deep down, I've always thought that we could be friends. I mean he does have his good points.....I can't think of any right now, but he does have them.
That was several hours ago. Apparently they came back and O'Neill took the crystal entity through the gate. That was the last I heard. I hope he's OK. Gossip says it took the form of his dead son and that's got to screw you up some.
It's late now, and I'm still here, haunting the corridors in search of my next cup of coffee. Like there's anything unusual about that. Neither was it exactly strange for me to run into Colonel O'Neill. He was sitting alone in the darkened commissary. This time....he was in a bad way and it wasn't just coffee he had been drinking. I didn't really know what to say to him. But O'Neill quickly proved he could find enough words for himself.
"Well, if it ain't daddy's little Major," his speech is slurred and, even from several feet away, I can smell the whiskey on his breath.
There was no reply I can really make. He's drunk, he's not going to listen to me. I'm just going to grab my coffee and leave. With any luck the General will walk in here and that'll be the end of Colonel O'Neill's career. Good riddance.
"That's right, Major. Walk away, don't get involved."
His voice mocks me and despite myself I have to turn back.
"Look, I know you've had a rough time, but there is no reason for putting me through this shit!"
"You don't know squat!"
"Daniel told me about your wife and son. For what it's worth I'm sorry."
"I don't want your pity! You're sorry...How would you know what it's like? Who have you lost, Major?"
"My Mom, when I was thirteen. I was angry for a very long time, so never say that I don't know, Colonel, because I do!"
I don't know why I tell him that. What difference is it going to make? Jeeze, I can't even be nice to this guy without him taking it the wrong way. I should just go. Leave the bastard to his self pity. Why can't I just walk out of the door?
I'm not going to leave him like this, that's why. He's slumped over one of the tables, probably unconscious. I walk over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Colonel, I really think you should go back to your quarters," I tell him.
"Don't wanna," he mutters into the table top. "Don't wanna go to school, mom."
Oh this is just great! Why me? Why aren't the rest of his team members here to look after him? I look down at him. He just seems so vulnerable and I can't help but find it attractive. What the hell is wrong with me? My unwilling fingers reach out to stroke his hair....Oh well if there really is no one else.
"Get up, Jack." I order.
He does so, very reluctantly. By this stage he obviously has no idea who I am. I sling his arm about my shoulders and persuade him to walk, but I don't think he'll make it as far as his quarters. Come to think of it, I don't even know where his quarters are....but the VIP rooms are on this level. I think I can manage to get him that far. He's dragging his feet, I don't think he wants to go where I'm taking him, but he's not conscious enough to protest. God, I hope no one sees us. This'll really get the rumour mill started.
We're lucky. I get him into the VIP quarters and let him fall on the bed. He rolls onto his back, looking up at me.
"What're you doin' here?" he asks me.
"Putting you to bed," I reply, bending down to take his boots off.
I'm removing the left one, when I feel his hands in my hair. His running his fingers through it. What the hell? I look up and he's smiling at me. For a man who's half cut, his eyes look pretty damn sincere. He's never smiled at me before, I never realised how much it could change him. His face has softened, making him look younger, less careworn. It's actually a very good looking face.
"Go to sleep, Jack," I tell him.
If anything his grin grows even wider and before I know what's happening, his arm is about my waist and he's pulling me backwards. We land on the bed in a tangle of limbs. I give a little shriek as he rolls us, trapping me beneath him.
"Thank you," he says, "for coming back."
"I couldn't just leave you there."
It's the truth. I damn well tried, but I couldn't do it. His face is coming closer to mine, his brown eyes filled with warmth. He's going to kiss me....Colonel O'Neill is going to kiss me. I should stop this, I should stop this now...
I close my eyes as his lips touch my own. It's amazing, soft, passionate....uncharacteristically gentle. His leg works it's way between mine and I can't stop myself giving a little incoherent moan as he exerts just the right amount of pressure.
"Oh God......Sara...." he groans.
Sara? Who the hell is Sara? Then it hits me....his ex-wife. He's so far gone, he thinks I'm his ex-wife. Dammit, I wish....I wish that kiss had been meant for me. I struggle out from underneath him. O'Neill starts to protest, but the alcohol in his system takes over and the next thing I hear is snoring. Probably a good thing, saves me punching his lights out. I twitch the blanket over him. Wouldn't want him to get cold now, would we? Suddenly feeling very, very tired, I slump into the nearest chair. I get the feeling this is going to be a long night.
***************************************************************************
You know these VIP quarters aren't half bad. At least the beds are comfortable....wait a second....I don't remember the bed. I struggle to my feet. O'Neill is sitting in one of the chairs, staring at me. I glance at my watch...it's late, I'm supposed to be on duty.
"Sam," his voice stops me as I head for the door.
"Colonel?"
"It's Jack, remember?"
"Jack, right."
He doesn't want to meet my eyes....hardly surprising given his behaviour last night. I mean he was the one who kissed me. I didn't do any kissing back, no way, not at all....well...maybe just a little. I'd like to say that it was because I haven't been kissed recently...but it wasn't. I haven't really missed sex much....at least not until he started running his fingers through my hair.
"I think I owe you an apology," he begins.
It's obviously not something O'Neill...Jack...is used to. In fact, in the months I've known him, I don't think I've ever heard him apologise before. No wonder he's not very good at it.
"And to say thank you."
"What for?" I ask.
"You could have just walked away....but you didn't. By the way my head feels, I must have been in a pretty bad state."
"You were."
"I didn't...try....anything...Did I?"
"No, you didn't."
The relief on his face make's the lie worthwhile. There's no reason he has to know.
"Good. I'm glad....I mean I wouldn't want to jeopardise our working relationship."
"What working relationship?"
"Yeah, right....buy you breakfast?"
"From the commissary? It's free."
"Hey, it's the thought that counts."
I can't help laughing at him. His sense of humour is starting to reassert itself. Under normal circumstances I would find that threatening but this time I just can't help myself. He can be really funny and....God help me....I find that attractive. And he has really nice eyes....No, Sam, don't go there. But he does. I'm only telling the truth.
"So?" he pushes.
"Yes, you can buy me breakfast....even though no money will change hands."
"Great."
We sneak out and into the commissary. I think everyone turns to look when we walk in together. Both of us try to look cool as we collect our respective breakfasts; Jack's Froot Loops and my pancakes. When we sat down together....I thought Dr. Jackson was going to choke on his bacon. Oh, this is fun. Jack's eyes catch mine, obviously thinking the same thing.
"So Major, you going running to see Uncle George any time today?" he starts.
"I might have a word, just to tell him Daddy sends hugs. Anything you want me to pass on?"
Dr. Jackson's eyebrows almost leave his skull. On the other hand Kowalski, is far more direct.
"Is there something you two want to tell us?"
We both burst out laughing. I guess the feud is officially over.
When we are alone again, I ask him why? His attitude changed overnight and it can't be due to one kiss.....which he says he doesn't remember. Jack hesitates before he answers...
"I have one rule, Sam. No one gets left behind."
"Oh."
"You didn't leave me and that'll always mean something."
"But it wasn't in a combat situation."
"Doesn't matter. I was in a bad way....I haven't drunk that much since...well...since I got back from Abydos the first time and found that Sara had gone."
"Must have been hard."
"It was."
I can't believe he's talking to me this way. For two people who don't know each other very well, it's incredibly intimate. We're sitting in my lab. I was on a break and he brought me coffee. Seems he knows alot about my working habits.
"Anyway I just wanted to let you know," he finishes.
"Thanks Jack and thanks for the coffee."
"No problem, see you later."
Yeah, we're Sam and Jack now. A little improper maybe, considering the fact that he's a colonel and I'm only a lowly major, but I guess we've made the first steps towards a tenuous kind of friendship. What I did for him...well, it was only a small thing but it obviously meant alot. I find myself wondering about this man. What made him the way he is? I think there's more to his story...and I'm looking forward to finding out.
The End.
Story Notes: Steps 01: AUTHOR: Ruth M. King ruth@snowqueen.demon.co.uk
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack, anyone else please ask
SPOILERS: Cold Lazarus
NOTES: This is a challenge response :):). I can't recall the exact details, but it's the one where Sam and Jack don't start out as friends.
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack, anyone else please ask
SPOILERS: Cold Lazarus
NOTES: This is a challenge response :):). I can't recall the exact details, but it's the one where Sam and Jack don't start out as friends.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]