"This isn't funny."
"Yes it is."
"No it isn't."
"Is."
"Isn't."
"Is."
"Isn't."
"Is."
"Isn't."
"Isn't."
"Is! Damn, I can't believe I fell for that."
Sam Carter grinned to herself and continued to watch her CO vainly attempting to rig up the christmas tree lights. "Well, you were the one who volunteered to do this job. You could have been on of those roped in to help the kitchen staff prepare the food."
"No, thank you." Jack O'Neill said tersely, gritting his teeth as the tree fought back, trying to dislodge him from his rather precarious perch on the ladder. "Who's idea was it to put the tree in the gateroom, anyway?"
"Um... I don't know. They only realised after they'd gotten the thing that the gateroom was the only place large enough to put a tree in." Sam answered distractedly. "Yes, I can see why you wouldn't want to do the cooking thing. I think it must be something of a tradition."
"Tradition?" Jack echoed, grimacing at the amount of sap from the pine tree that had somehow managed to coat most of his arms.
"Yeah. The turkey comes out of the oven burnt to a crisp and black as death, while the sprouts that have been simmering in the pot since late October are just about ready for consuming of individuals who know just how disgusting they really are but still..."
"Carter, how would you like the wonderful experience of being the fairy on top of the christmas tree?"
"And another thing, christmas trees. It's a pine tree, all it'll do is shed its needles! And then baubles will fall of the slowly defoliating branches, and the tinsel will be picked to shreds by people who can't keep their hands off it, and then we'll be picking up debris until the middle of july and..."
"Sam, you really need to shut up now."
Sam glowered for a moment, then said, "Well, since you don't need me to hold the ladder steady..." she headed away from the tree, towards where Daniel was helping to decorate the Stargate in tinsel.
"CARTER!!! GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!! SAM!!!!!"
Janet Frasier stood watching the choas in the Gateroom, and the interaction between Sam and Jack in particular. Maybe she was just letting her romantic side get to her, after all, there was a reason why she had three shelves of Mills and Boon back at her house, but she could help but think that Sam and Jack were being stubborn. A blind idiot could see that there /was/ a chemistry there.
Janet intended to do something about it.
Janet stuck her hand into her lab coat pocket, frowned, and slowly pulled something out. Mistletoe. "Ah-ha..." she said, a grin slowly forming on her face. She headed in the direction of Daniel and Teal'c.
**
The party came, and was being held in the gateroom, the only place large enough to actually hold everyone who wanted to come to the party. It was amazing to Janet that Hammond had actually allowed the party to go ahead, but when she had seen him, he had been taking that prozac she had prescribed him after SG-1 had returned from P8H287 along with a being who resembled a large bunny rabbit and wanted to distribute large eggs to the members of the SGC. Daniel had called it the origin of the Easter Bunny stories, Hammond had called it insanity.
Janet spied the objects of her search as they sat on one of the steps to the side of the ramp, looking as if they were having a very intimate conversation.
'Perfect,' she thought to herself, catching Daniel and Teal'c's eyes and nodding in indication of her readiness to begin. Janet approached Sam and Jack as they sat quietly chatting. "Can I ask a question of the two of you?" she said when she had their attention.
"Sure, Doc."
"Would you abide by a christmas tradition?"
Sam narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Depends on the tradition."
Janet shook her head. "Forget about that for now. Would you abide by it?"
Jack was cottoning on to what Janet was going on about. For one, Janet had been bugging the two of them about going out for a drink some time. It wasn't hard to guess what she meant. "Not in public."
Janet pursed her lips. "How public is public?"
"Janet!"
"Oh come on," said Janet, spreading her arms in a 'for goodness' sake' gesture. "How's anyone supposed to know you've abided by the tradition if there's no one there to see you?"
"We wouldn't be talking about a certain green plant would we? And the traditions associated with it?" Jack asked her.
'Damn,' "For all you know, I could be talking about the tradition of eating turkey at christmas."
Sam blinked. "But you're not."
'This isn't working.' Janet thought, peeved, and pulled the piece of mistletoe out of her pocket. "Right, now, as the self-appointed Cupid's christmas temp-standin type, I am empowered to use this mistletoe to get you to kiss."
Sam and Jack were regarding her as if she had suddenly sprouted two heads and were raving on about the need to use leeches in state-of-the-art medical treatments. They started to edge away, but suddenly realised that their escape routes were blocked by Daniel and Teal'c.
"This has to be the most unsubtle attempt at getting two people to kiss I have ever seen." said Jack.
Janet shrugged and waved the mistletoe above their heads. "Now don't make me force you two together."
Sam turned her head to look at the man sitting next to her, and raised her eyebrows, as if to say 'shall we?'. Obviously the answer was the one she wanted, because within seconds, she had wrapped her arms around Jack, the two of them locked in a kiss that neither seemed likely to break any time soon.
Janet grinned cheerfully. "My work here is done."
Story Notes: I'm sorry, I tried sappy, I just couldn't do it. *sob* I'm addicted to comedy! (At least you didn't get the first version, that was... weird...) And the whole thing with the mistletoe... it actually happened, IRL. Put the author in the role of Janet, and her two best friends in the role of Sam and Jack...
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]