"Sir, when I saw you lying there … I …"
"I know …"
"It was so hard …"
"Carter, I know," Jack emphasized.
She looked at him with that expression and he gritted his teeth and slowly counted to ten. He thought of his rank, her rank and said over and over in his head `court martial'. It was getting harder, especially after such a close call, he'd nearly died, they'd lost someone dear to them and now … now Carter was here giving him that look.
She'd been crying and that made it worse, so he compromised and moved forward to hug her. She took the comfort crying softly into his shoulder mindful of his recent injuries.
"I just can't keep going like this," she whispered.
He tensed wondering if she was thinking the Same things he was.
"We've lost daniel so often, each time I never could get over the loss, then nearly you, now fraiser… I can't keep doing this, Sir. I want out," she continued whispering close to his ear.
He tensed even more feeling his heart break, she was giving up and it felt like a personal betrayal.
"Nonsense, Carter, we'll make it through this and we'll continue fighting for our planet and all those other ones with humans on it," he said drawing back enough to see her face. He still kept his hands on her back so that she was close enough to comfort.
"But … I don't know if i'll survive loosing … y… another friend," she said correcting herself.
He almost winced but didn't knowing that it would only encourage her in something that they both shouldn't do.
"I know," was all he said.
She looked at him intensely and both knew what he was agreeing to, she nodded and slipped out of his embrace.
"Well, need some help getting out of here?" She asked.
"No!"
"Just asking, Sir," she said with a teasing smile.
He gave her a suspicious look and she answered it with an innocent one, he humphed and slowly made his way to the door of the infirmary.
"The day I need help getting out of the infirmary is the day I should be in it," he said over his shoulder to her.
Sam's smile disappeared, she remembered all those times the colonel had annoyed janet into letting him leave. All the times he'd griped about after mission checkups. She knew he'd only been showing, in his way, how much the doctor had meant to him, but now… they never know whether or not the doctor had known that.
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