It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life.
It was supposed to be that very special day she had dreamed about since she was a little girl.
Then why did she feel like it was the beginning of the end for her?
Samantha Carter observed herself in the mirror with a frown playing between her eyebrows. Somewhere in the back of her mind she had always been aware that she had inherited more than just average looks, in fact she had been described on more than one occasion as being quite beautiful, but she had never been one to be obsessed about it.
That was until today.
'It's my wedding day, so surely I'm allowed to be a little bit vain,' Sam thought as she turned around in circles, inspecting her total visual image with a critical eye. She was dressed in a plain, but elegant, pure white wedding dress, a variety of small artificial flowers was braided into her blond hair. White sandals made her feet appear petite and very feminine. All of that combined with professional make-up, courtesy of a certain daughter of the late Doctor Fraiser, resulted in giving Sam an overall natural appearance, exactly what she wanted for her big day.
'Then why can't I seem to shake off this gloomy feeling?' another thought seemed to cross her mind. Shaking her head slightly, almost like she was trying to get rid of the depressing feeling that way, she approached the mirror and turned her head from side to side - just to ensure that there was no makeup smudge or something else that she might have overlooked.
A knock resounded on the door.
"Ms Carter…it's time," a voice could be heard on the other side of the door. Sam could feel a cold shiver making its way down her spine.
'What is wrong with me?' Instead she replied with a neutral voice, "Yeah, just give me a minute, okay?"
Mumbled words were heard again from her unknown addressee but Sam decided to tune out the annoying voice. It was only when she could hear the sound of retreating footsteps that she realised her body had been tensed up during the brief conversation and an involuntary small sighed escaped from her lips.
'Right, can't delay this any longer. After all I want to do this… don't I?' Making a final adjustment to her hairdo Sam turned around and walked to the door with purpose in her steps. As her hand reached the door handle she stopped in her tracts.
'Why did I just think of him?'
Shrugging her shoulders she grabbed hold of the door handle, pushed open the door and suddenly stopped again.
'Stop it Sam.'
Her heart was beating furiously, her palms were sweating, a slight headache was forming at the back of her head…and the image of a certain grey-haired, brown-eyed man kept on forcing itself to the foreground of her conscious mind.
'I decided to marry Pete,' she argued furiously with herself. 'I want to marry Pete,' she tried to convince herself.
'Then why can't you stop thinking of him?' a nagging voice from her subconscious decided to interrupt her chain of thought.
"No! No more stalling!" This time the words were spoken out loud and full of emotion as she left her sanctuary and started walking with determination down the corridor. The lonely corridor in turn would lead to the small hall that Pete had rented for their wedding ceremony; it was just big enough to accommodate his and her closest family and friends.
"There you are!" A beautiful young woman suddenly entered her field of vision and with familiarity encircled her arm around Sam's, "Hey you, everybody's waiting for you."
Sam did not say anything in reply, merely nodded her head and bit slightly on her bottom lip.
The two women had barely walked a few more steps when the younger one of the two stopped in her tracts and cocked her head slightly to one side…she had sensed something disturbing in the woman her mother had considered to be her best friend. The smile disappeared from her lips and got replaced with a slight frown on her forehead. She pulled her arm away from Sam, turned around to stare at her for a few seconds before reaching out a hand to touch her shoulder, "What's wrong?"
Sam refused to meet her gaze. Her eyes darted from the maroon colored carpet underneath her feet, to the slightly dirty windows of the corridor, looking out on people going through the paces of their everyday lives. It finally came to rest on the chandelier swinging slightly from side to side above her head, courtesy of an open door or window somewhere behind her. Eventually she had no choice but to lay her dull blue eyes on those of her companion's.
"I…I can't -" She swallowed in an attempt to get rid of the imaginary growth busy forming in her throat.
How was one supposed to explain what was going through your mind when you had no idea yourself? Or could it be that she did not want to acknowledge the stirring of her subconscious mind?
"Never mind, let's go," Sam mumbled in an abrupt fashion and commenced walking again.
A soft hand reached out and grabbed hold of her arm, "Sam wait!"
"Cassandra, I'm going to be late for my own wedding if we don't move it right now." She turned around and forced a half-hearted smile to her lips, anything to try and convinced the younger woman that she was okay and ready for the big step that awaited her barely a few steps away.
"You know there's still time," Cassandra replied. She had let go of Sam's arm and instead was looking now up at the woman she had always considered to be like a surrogate mother figure to her. A strange all-knowing look passed behind her eyes, almost like she was aware of something that Sam still needed to figure out.
"W-w-hat are you talking about?" In the background both women could hear faint wedding music playing, calling out to the bride that it was time for her to come forth.
In her mind's eye Sam could already visualised all the multitude of faces in that room, all turned in the direction of the door…waiting…anticipating…the arrival of the bride. Then there was the groom, Pete Shanahan, she could imagine him standing there at the front already, now and again eyeing the impatient minister, wondering what was keeping his future wife from being at his side.
'Why do I feel like screaming…running away from this place until I reached the safety of his -'
"Sam," Cassandra's voice stopped her from completing her thought. When she did not reply immediately the younger woman asked again, this time with serious concern in her voice, "Hey Sam…what's wrong? You look like you are about to scream or run away from this place or something."
Sam blinked a few times. She was trying to rid herself of the image of a beautiful wooden house at a tranquil lake that had suddenly crept up on her and the fact that the younger woman in front of her had managed to sum her up so accurately.
'Was that the place of safety my thoughts were trying to lead me to?' Sam could not help but ponder, 'what is going on with me? Is my subconscious mind trying to tell me something?'
Turning her attention back to the younger woman, Sam took a deep breath before continuing, "Cassie, what did mean you earlier on?"
There, she asked the question.
When it appear as if the woman had no idea what she was talking about, she quickly added, "I mean when you said there was still time? What did you mean by that?"
Now it was Cassandra's turn to appear slightly uncomfortable and to advert her eyes from Sam, "I…I just mean there's still time. You aren't married to Pete yet. You can still change your mind."
'You can still change your mind,' it was six plain simple words, yet they went on to repeat over and over in Sam's mind.
"Why're you saying that?" The words came out abrupt again, almost rude, but she needed to know, she needed to hear the words being spoken aloud from someone else's lips that her own.
Cassandra's nodded her head in silent understanding; she was not upset at the way she had been spoken to. "I think you know what I'm talking about."
"I need to hear it out aloud."
"Alright. Jack. I'm talking about Jack here."
"Excuse me?" Sam took a step backwards, the answer had hit her hard, and it felt like she had run full-speed into a brick wall.
Cassie's hands moved to her hips and she stared at Sam with a disapproving look on her face. "Don't play stupid on me Sam. It really doesn't suit you."
"I…uh…"
"No, maybe I wasn't too sure about it before, but just one look at your haunted face convinced me of what I've always suspected," the woman continued on, not sparing Sam's feeling's one bit. It was going to be now or never in her opinion.
"Cassie, you aren't making sense here," Sam's looked over her shoulder in the direction of where the music was coming from, was it her imagination or could she hear voices now too?
"No Sam. I'm making more than sense here and you know exactly what I'm talking about."
"Then why don't you spell it out for me. Especially since I'm already late for my own wedding and don't feel like playing mind games with you, especially today of all days." Sam could feel the beginning stages of anger starting to transform her currently emotional state.
"Fine. I'll spell it out for you…"
The next few minutes only the universe played witness to the honest conversation happening between the two women, sometimes angry, sometimes sad.
Eventually the older one of the two felt quiet, tears started forming at the corners of her eyes. She nodded her head and whispered something to her companion before she turned around and hurried back in the direction of where she had came from…it was also the direction that would lead her to fate and destiny.
The younger woman remained on her spot for a little while longer, closed her eyes for a second, before walking slowly towards the door that would lead to where the wedding ceremony was supposed to be held. She did not relish the thought of what she was about to do, but she had made a promise to Sam, and maybe it was only fair for her to carry the burden given the fact that she had been the one to open the woman's eyes to the truth.
She reached out her hand and opened the door…wedding music started playing again…the crowd's eyes turned towards her, they were after all expecting the bride to appear…when they saw her instead a hushed murmur made its way through the room.
Swallowing, Cassandra lifted her head proudly and hurriedly made her way to the front of the room, she had a duty to perform and she was going to make the best of it. Only once did she dare to glance around, the only faces she recognised was those of General George Hammond, Teal'c and Daniel Jackson. All of the men were staring at her with what counted as various types of confused expressions on their faces. She smiled quickly in their direction before continuing onwards.
When she finally reached the side of the groom she stopped and hesitated for a while.
The young man, Pete Shanahan, stared at her for a few seconds.
'He's dressed in a typical groom's outfit, black tuxedo the works,' Cassie could not help but to think disapprovingly, 'Jack would have been, maybe still will be, way more original.'
"She not coming, is she?" Pete asked in a subdued voice.
Cassandra felt her disapproval making way for sympathy. She pulled him gently to one side and then said, "I'm so sorry. Sam said I must tell you it is better this way, to know in time that she had made a mistake, instead of…instead of getting married and realising too late that you weren't the one."
***
"Here you go…keep the chance," Sam said with a husky voice and pushed the notes into the taxi driver's hands.
"Gee thanks lady, with this I can go and buy myself my very own slice of bread," the driver replied sarcastically before reversing and driving away in a hurry, leaving only a dust cloud in his wake.
Sam coughed a few times to clear her throat from the dust irritation and then turned around to observe the house in front of her through slightly misty eyes.
'Will he be at home?' she wondered, scared and yet excited at the same time. She could not wait to tell him how she felt.
'But what if he didn't feel the same 'bout you?' another voice, maybe it was her logical side, inquired suddenly, 'after all it had been four years since he admitted his feelings to you. Maybe you should wait, you're only going to be making a fool of yourself this way.''
Sam took a deep breath; her shivering fingers started making small patterns across the layers of her wedding dress. She had no idea how to proceed from there on and as a result proceeded to sit down unceremoniously on the step leading to the entrance of the person's house she had came to visit.
After a while her mind started registering the fact that a cold breeze had picked up, she pulled her knees up to her body and her arms encircled around them in an attempt to maintain her body warmth.
In that manner she continued sitting for a long time, her head supported on her knees, her eyes staring into nothingness, her senses ignoring the curious bystanders that stopped to stare at her every few minutes.
Maybe her body language was shouting out to any potential Samaritan, "Don't you dare interfere with me!" Especially since every now and again a stranger would try to approach her, even a cop stopped once to observe her from a distance, but one look at her haggard face make them disappear quickly from her view.
After a few minutes the cold breeze increased in size, distant thunder was heard and small raindrops started escaping from the heavens.
But still Sam did not move from her spot.
The raindrops started multiplying until they became big and heavy, soaking everything that was in their paths.
But still Samantha Carter did not move an inch.
It was when the last of the daylight faded away until only darkness remained that her silent body started showing life again.
She stood up. Her eyes blinked a few times, whether it was to get rid of rain or tears drops nobody would ever know. Her hair was plastered to her head, makeup was forming black blotches underneath her eyes, her shoulders were hunched over, her former glorious wedding dress was now beyond recognition and she was shivering tremendously from the cold. Her head lifted up and for a few seconds she just observed her intended destination peacefully before a determined expression started forming across her face.
She had finally made up her mind.
With arms crossed across her chest she stared walking towards the front door of the familiar house. One small step led to another and grew bigger and bigger with each passing second until before she knew it she was standing directly in front of Jack O'Neill's wooden entrance.
Her hand reached out, formed a fist but withdrew almost immediately again.
She swallowed a few times.
In her mind numerous potential words started forming, words she might use to address him upon first sight.
She jumped slightly in shock when a wind chime started singing above her head.
Her eyes darted up to investigate the musical interference. It was when they turn back to their original position that she realised how in a small instance of time fate can sometimes decide to throw one a curve ball. Where the door used to be was now only an empty space…occupied by a tall, dark and very bleary-eyed Jack O'Neill, dressed in a faded blue denim and color-matching jersey, his feet were bare from any shoes.
For a few moments they just stared at each other, each one's face registering intense surprise.
It was Jack that first broke the silence. His surprise slowly made way for one of casualness. He rubbed at the corners of his eyes, yawed with arms stretched out high above him and then finally decided to acknowledge Sam's presence.
"Carter…kinda wet there, aren't we?" he asked in a deep voice, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning with his right shoulder lightly against the doorframe.
"I…uh…don't know," Sam stumbled over her words, having lost all self-confidence, especially since she found it impossible to determine what was going on through his mind at that moment. She was suddenly very much aware of her own cold and was unable to prevent herself from shivering uncontrollable.
For just a split second a worried emotion passed behind Jack's eyes before disappearing just as fast.
"Right," was all he commented at first, then after giving her a quick glance over, he added, "You're dripping water all over my doorstep and you don't know whether you're wet or not. Yeah, seems 'bout right to me."
At these words Sam could not help but to grin fleetingly.
"Ah, was that an actual smile I detected Dorothy?" Jack stated, two of the fingers on his right hand rose in the air to emphasise his point.
Sam gave him a full smile this time. She was acknowledging that in his own way he was trying to lighten what could only be described as a tense situation between them.
Deciding to repay his kindness she rolled her eyes mockingly before saying, "So…any chance of me getting the opportunity to make the same mess from inside there?" A hand left the safety and comfort of a still shivering arm for just a second to point to the inside of his house.
His face turned into a solemn mask. For a moment Sam feared that he was going to refuse her entry, but after the barest moment of hesitation he said, "Just a sec," before disappearing inside the house.
When he came back he had a huge navy-blue towel and a similar type blanket, which appeared well used and very comfy, in his hands.
He looked at her apologetic before saying, "Uh…my cleaning lady is very bossy…," he shrugged his shoulders while letting the sentence trail off.
"No problem." Taking the towel from him she made an attempt to dry herself off as best as was possible, including the excess water from her hair and the now smudged makeup from her face. When she tried to hand it back to him he shook his head.
"Leave it out there."
"You're not worried it'll get stolen or something?" she inquired.
"Who would try to steal a wet towel Carter?" he replied with a question of his own, his eyebrow rising slightly in the air.
"Sorry Sir, guess it was a stupid question," she felt herself blushing faintly and immediately changed the topic of conversation, "Can I come inside now?"
As she said the last few words she made an attempt to walk passed Jack but an arm snapped out in front of her. "Ah…Shoes," he stated and pointed in the direction of her now dirty-brown and damaged shoes.
"Right," Sam whispered and removed them from her feet, shaking out the water in each of them before bending down to put them to the one side too.
When she straightened again Jack handed her the blanket and waved for her to enter.
"Thanks," she said softly, threw the blanket over her shoulders and entered into the welcoming warmth of Jack's house.
"Take a seat Carter. I think there's coffee around here somewhere," Jack called out and disappeared into the kitchen. After a while he showed his face again and said, "No coffee, how 'bout beer?"
Sam sat down on one of the chairs and pulled the blanket closer around her, "Beer's fine." While she waited for the beer to arrive her eyes started scanning the contents of the room. The television was switched on, although on mute, some sort of cartoon was playing. From the indentation on one of the sofas it was clear that someone had been stretched out on it only a few moments before.
A small glitter from behind the paw of the mentioned sofa caught her attention. She squinted her eyes and leaned a bit forward in her chair to take a closer look. A few darkish bottles with various amounts of liquid were clearly visible. Although from the way some of the bottles were laying on their sides, spilling their contents on the carpet, it was clear that the owner of them had clearly tried to hide them away in a hurry, and not that long ago too.
'He's been drinking,' Sam realised with a sudden shock jolting her body. 'Well, what did you expect - that he'll just accept your marriage to Pete without blinking an eye?' another voice resounded within her. 'Could this mean that maybe he still cares 'bout me?' a third voice decided to add its 50 cents worth.
Sam shook her head and raked a hand through her still very wet blond hair, drops of water splattered over the cushions around her, never before in her life had she felt so close to the edge of going crazy. She was feeling almost delirious at that moment and knew instinctively that the main reason could only be due to the adrenaline pumping furiously through her veins. She was quite aware of the fact that the next few hours were going to have a great influence on the direction the rest of her life would lead.
A hand with a beer bottle clutched in it suddenly entered her view. A familiar voice followed after that, "A beer for your thought?"
She turned her head to one side, only to look up into the brown eyes of Jack O' Neill, a small smile lined his face.
She accepted the bottle, took a sip and returned his smile with a small one of her own. "Thanks," she replied afterwards in a soft tone.
He nodded his head and proceeded to sit down right next to her.
For a while they just sat like that, in silence, each one involved in his or her own thoughts.
After a few minutes Jack put his beer bottle down, turned in her direction and stared at Sam until she had no choice but to meet his gaze. Both of them realised that it was finally time for the truth to be revealed.
The vein underneath Jack's eye jumped and the side of his mouth twisted slightly as he stared at her for a second or two before commencing, "So…"
Sam's eyes alternated between Jack's intense stare and the swirling liquid of her beer bottle that was steadily becoming less and less. Her front teeth bit lightly on her bottom lip before she added too, "So…"
"Weren't you supposed to get married or something today?" he tried to make the words sounds light-heartedly but it came out as everything but that.
"Y-yeah I c…g-guess so," she stuttered, although barely noticeable, over her words. Whether it was from the alcohol that had started to affect her mind or from the closeness of the man next to her she had no idea.
"Carter…" His tone of voice was very low and soft now, almost like he was berating her for her seemingly reluctance to speak the truth.
"I…" the first word started out clearly audible, "I just couldn't go through with it," and ended so low, it was almost beyond understanding.
Somehow Jack still understood her. "I see," was all he said before taking a deep, long sip from his beer bottle.
Again a couple of minutes passed in utter silence.
Sam started fidgeting in her chair before suddenly jumping up from her seat, the blanket falling away from her shoulders. "Uh…this has been a mistake. I'm sorry. I think I should -"
"Carter -" a voice tried to interrupt her.
Instead Sam continued rumbling on, "I think…I think maybe I should go." She gave her watch a quick scan before adding, "Besides it's getting late and tomorrow it's Sunday and maybe you'll need your rest. I…I'm sorry for having bothered you and -"
"Sit down," Jack's voice rung out loud and insistent.
Two pair of eyes met each other and all mumblings stopped abruptly.
Sighing Jack turned the bottle around and around in his hands, causing the dark liquid to twirl in circles, before finally saying, "Finish your beer Carter, after that you need to stay at least an hour before I can allow you to go."
Sam took her seat again and this time it was her turned to raise her eyebrow at him, "Before you can allow me to go?" she mimicked his words. "I didn't come with a car Sir and last time I checked you don't need to be sober to get a lift in a taxi."
Holding his bottle in one hand he leaned over her lap, picked up the blanket and handed it back to her before replying, "Yeah, well you're still cold and wet and I'll consider that a crime any time."
Smiling to say thanks, pulling the blanket around her safely, Sam asked in what could almost be considered a sly voice, "I guess as my commanding officer you can't afford for me to get sick?"
"Try door number 2."
A frown played between her eyebrows, she had no idea what he was talking about. "What?" was all she could think of to say.
"Never mind." Jack put his beer bottle down on a table next to him, turned around and stared at Sam for a while before finally speaking up. "Why're you here Sam?"
"Excuse me?" Sam turned her gaze away from him and appeared uncomfortable. He had called her by her name; there was no delaying the eventuality anymore. She knew that question needed to be addressed sooner or later. The problem was just finding the right words to express the multitude of emotions she had experienced since the start of the day and to describe what she was feeling right at that moment.
"From your appearance and the fact that you are sitting here next to me I assume you didn't go ahead with the wedding. Why?" His face had turned into an unreadable mask.
Swallowing Sam nodded her head. She slowly put her beer bottle safely to one side, anything to allow herself a few more seconds to compose herself, and turned her gaze downwards before saying, "I just couldn't go ahead with it. Cassie…Cassandra opened my eyes for me."
"Cassie?" he asked strangely. She refused to look up; afraid that she would loose her confidence if she were to see what type of emotions was playing around on his face.
"Yes," her voice sounded husky to her ears.
"And?"
"I knew…somehow I always knew but needed Cassandra to make me see the truth."
"Truth about what."
"The fact that it would have been a mistake to marry Pete."
She could hear him moving around on the seat next to her, but she was too scared to glance up. She waited for him to say something, anything, but when no words were forthcoming she gathered it as an indication she was to proceed.
"It would have been unfair to marry Pete…especially…especially since I didn't love him."
"I see," his words were spoken very softly.
Taking another deep breath Sam decided to take the chance, to tell him how she felt once and for all.
"I…I need to tell you something. I don't expect, nor want anything from you in return. It's just…I can't continue living like this." She could feel the start of new tears forming at the corner of her eyes and clenched her teeth; there was no way that she was going to cry at this critical moment, not if she could help it.
"Afterwards…I…I don't want things to be uncomfortable between us. I'll resign or ask for a transfer or something. It's just I can't continuing denying what I'm feeling."
She waited for a few more seconds, there was no indication that he wished to participate in the conversation, before carrying on with her confession.
"I might as well come out and say it. I have feelings for you. For so many years I tried to suppress it. Even went so far as to convince myself that marrying Pete is what I wanted, what I needed. I think that deep down I thought that will make me forget about you or that I could force myself to fall in love with someone else."
Sam kept quiet for a few seconds, struggling to keep her emotions under control, and then stumbled onwards, not caring as to whether she was making sense or not. "I'm only going to say it once and then I promise I won't say it again. I think…no…I know I'm in love with you. Have been for the last few years."
There.
She said it.
The truth has finally been revealed. There was no turning back.
Two small tears rolled silently from her eyes and poured over her cheeks. Her shoulders hunched over and she tucked her hands between the safety of her knees to prevent them from shaking openly. Never before in her life had she been so scared of the unknown future.
Seconds ticked by and turned into minutes. A sad wind could be heard singing its lonely song outside the house.
Just when she thought she could take the silence no longer, and started considering as to whether she should just leave while she still had some sort of dignity left, a hand reached out to touch the side of her cheek.
The shock of this unexpected touch made her caught her breath. Sam could feel electricity moving through her body and closed her eyes in response. She too was scared to move, afraid that any action from her side might caused the strange, yet electrifying, sensation to vanish from her skin.
At first the hand just stayed on one spot and then after a few seconds it started moving slowly down her cheek, caressing her lips when it passed over them, until it finally came to rest underneath her chin.
No words were said. The only sounds that were heard were that of deep breathing from a man and a woman.
The hand gently, but persistent, forced her face to turn in the direction of its owner.
"Open your eyes," The words were uttered so softly that at first Sam had no idea as to whether it was all in her mind or actually said out loud.
"Sam, please look at me," The hand disappeared, there was no denying the facts now, he had indeed spoken to her.
She slowly opened her eyes. At first she had trouble distinguishing his facial features due to the mistiness still covering her eyes. She blinked her eyes a few times and after a few attempts she was finally able to see clearly.
She had no idea what to expect after the revelation of her feelings for him, but the raw emotions she could see playing across his face was still a huge shock, and yet at the same time invigorating, to her. There was no denying his feelings for her.
His eyes locked with hers and neither of them dared, nor wanted, to look away. For only the second time in their lives they freely allowed the other one to see the full extent of the emotions they harboured for each other.
This time it was her turn to break the tense atmosphere.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered hoarsely. She was afraid to break the spell between them, but needed for him to hear her say the words out loud.
"For what," he replied, his voice sounded strange and haunted after the silence that had besieged them for a while.
"Pete," she struggled to form the words and had to force herself to continue talking, "For Pete. For having almost married him." Her voice became a bit louder, "For having hurt you. I never realised how much until now."
He nodded his head, appearing deep in thought for a little while before turning his gaze away from her and answering her unspoken question in a neutral tone of voice, "You did…" he paused suddenly and then chanced the direction of his sentence, "but let's just forget `bout it?"
"Sir-" Realizing her slip of the tongue Sam coughed to cover up her mistake and then quickly said, "Jj-ack?"
He turned to look at her again; his face had turned into solemn mask once more, except that the continuous movement of his adam's apple was more than enough evidence of the whirlwind of emotions that must be searing away at his soul.
"Yeah," was all he managed to say to acknowledge her.
"Can…is…" Without warning Sam jumped up from her chair like it was burning her. She scratched the side of her nose and then finally said, "Can we…is there a way for us to start over again?"
Jack slowly stood up too, stared at her impassively for a few seconds before answering, "There was never an `us', at least not in the way that most people will understand it."
"I know," she replied and then softer, more as an afterthought to herself, "don't I know it."
When he did not comment on that, except to cross his arms and narrow his eyes, she realised that it was now or never. "Then is there a chance for it…for an `us' to happen?"
Just as the last words left her lips she found herself holding her breath in anticipation. She made a promise to herself that if he were to say no she would turn around and disappear from his life, never to bother or cause him pain again.
"There is one thing you are forgetting."
Confused, it was not one of the two replies she expected, she asked, "What?"
"Regulations. What had happened between us tonight can already be interpreted as being against Air Force regulations."
She closed her eyes for a second, wondering whether he was testing her to see if at the end of the day her career would be an obstacle, "If…if that is the only thing that stands between us I'll resign, in fact General I'm resigning as of this moment. My letter will be on your desk first thing in the morning."
Sam took a deep breath. She knew that she had just jumped open-eyed into an unknown situation. She has no idea as to whether he was even willing to consider a possibility of them being together, not only as friends but as a couple in all sense of the word too.
He took a step closer to her, his face still unreadable, although Sam could have sworn she saw a warm, welcoming light flickering somewhere behind his eyes.
"That is kinda going to be a problem."
"Why?" She stared at him without blinking an eye, daring him to tell her in her face why they could not be together.
"Because I can't authorize your resignation."
"Uh?" immediately realising how childish her comment sounded, although nobody could really blame her since Jack O'Neill had once more managed to catch her off-guard, she bit on her bottom lip and instead hoped that he would care to elaborate on his statement.
A slight smile passed over his lips, "You know you have six facial expressions."
`Right, this I was so definitely not expecting,' she thought, but refuse to say anything more in case it might make her sound childish again. Instead she just lifted her chin slightly in the air, giving him permission to proceed, to say whatever was on his mind.
The side of his lips tucked again into what could be considered a smile. "When you just realised you made a mistake you bite on your bottom lip. When you are excited your whole face lightens up. When you are scared your eyes widen and your shoulders slack slightly. When you are shocked your eyes closed for a few seconds."
He took another small step closer to her, there was now barely an inch left between them. "There is just one problem though…"
"Oh?" she whispered, scared that she might say something wrong.
His hand reached out to cup the side of her face. "For the life of me I just can't remember the other two right now, although…I'd like the opportunity to rediscover them again."
She closed her eyes, could she dare to believe she had heard and understood him correctly.
"Air Force regulations…my resignation?" she queried and had to suppress a shiver as his hand moved from the side of her face to the back of her neck.
He paused and then replied, a mischievous glint in his eye, "Well, if you are so insistent on resigning you better give your letter to good ol' George."
"General Hammond? Why?" She barely managed to say the words out loud. His one arm had moved to her back and was caressing it gently and his other hand had replaced the tender spot at the back of her neck now. His mouth was a few inches away from her face, his hot breath caused goose bumps to form over her skin.
"He is the current Commanding Officer of Cheyenne Mountain, therefore only he can authorize your resignation." Jack was now openly grinning at her and his whole attitude was almost like he was saying, `Du'h' to her.
When she did not react to his statement, except to stare at him in shock and astonishment he continued on casually, "You see I sorta resigned earlier on this morning. It was my third this time and hopefully the last."
"Because of me," she needed to know.
The smile disappeared from his face, "Pretty much. I just couldn't bare the thought of you being married to that man and then… having to see you each day knowing I will never be able to do this."
He lowered his head slowly until his lips were only a few inches away from hers. He then paused, waiting, needing to know that he had permission to cross that last distance. When he sensed no resistance from her, he moved his face closer until he was able to plant his lips softly on hers.
After a second he lifted his head, staring into her eyes, trying to determine her feelings.
Her eyes were shining blue marbles; her arms had made their way to his back and an encouraging smile told him all he needed to know.
Once again Jack lowered his head but this time he did not hesitate or wait for permission. All the passion he had been forced to keep hidden for the past few years suddenly boiled over and he allowed himself to claim her lips in the only way that was left possible for him.
After a couple of minutes of self-indulgence he was forced to come up for some much needed air.
"Wow," he could hear her whisper after having taken a deep breath herself.
"Yeah," he replied in an equal soft tone, it was the only thing he could think of to say at such a short notice. His mind was clouded over and no words wanted to make sense to him.
He removed his arms from behind her back and neck in order to be able to cup her face into both his hands.
For a few moments he allowed himself to stare into her eyes, he was taken back, but not surprised when he could see the full extent of her emotions for him in them.
"I need to tell you something too," he murmured softly under his breath.
"Oh?" the smile she sent him must have been one of the most beautiful things he ever had the fortune to lay his eyes on.
"I…" his tongue licked over his bottom lip to clear the dryness he could feel there, "I'm in love with you too."
"I know," she stated, her smile increased a few sizes, her one hand had moved up to his shoulder.
"Oh, just checking…well…in case…you know," it was his turn to stutter over his words.
"Jack," she asked with a twinkle in her eyes.
"Yeah."
"Will you do something for me?"
"Sure, anything." He had no idea what she was about to ask but at that stage he would have given her the world, anything to be able to remain at her side for the whole of his lifetime.
"Shut up and kiss me," she said with a slight laughter in her voice, the happiness in her heart could be seen on her face and in the glitter of her eyes.
And that he did…that day and many days afterwards Jack had kissed Sam without the slightest of complaints.
After all two hearts apart had finally been joined together.
TE
Story Notes: E-Mail: ngeldenhuys@wol.co.za
Category: Romance/Drama
Pairings: Sam/Jack
Spoilers: Season 7 onwards
Season: Hopefully season 8
Rating: PG
Content Warnings: Nothing
Archive: SJD Yes, anybody else - just ask me first
Category: Romance/Drama
Pairings: Sam/Jack
Spoilers: Season 7 onwards
Season: Hopefully season 8
Rating: PG
Content Warnings: Nothing
Archive: SJD Yes, anybody else - just ask me first
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]