Sam was fuming.
'How dare…he is such an…who does he think he is,' she thought bitterly as she walked hurriedly, almost running down the corridor back to her lab.
She just rounded a corner when a poor Airman saw and tried to stop her. "Uh…excuse me Colonel!" he called out and rushed to reach her side.
Sam paused; her hands clenched in fists at her side, and turned around. "What?" she asked in a strange, low tone of voice. Her eyes were narrowed warningly; anybody that knew her a bit better would have run for their lives right there and then.
Poor Airman, he would never forget that next few minutes for as long as he lived.
The man smiled innocently at her, he seriously had no idea that fate and destiny was about to conspire against him. "Sergeant Siler asked me to come and find you. Apparently you are needed urgently in the Control Room and -" He never got around to finish his sentence.
Sam's face turned a dark shade of red, her lips pursed together for a few seconds before she bothered to reply. "Why?" Just that one word, nothing more.
"Ma'am?" the poor soul queried, his face displaying how confused he was feeling at that moment.
Sam's hands went to her side, her legs parted slightly, she was so definitely in her 'Sam, Warrior Princess' mentality.
"Are you deaf or something?" she snapped at him.
"Colonel?" The Airman retreated a few steps backwards. His eyes darted slightly from one side to another. If his fairy godmother decided to appear in front of him right at that moment and granted him one wish he would have pleaded to be granted the right to disappear from the face of the Earth. Anything not to face the woman in front of him for a second longer.
Sam took a few steps forwards and pushed her finger against the chest of her unlucky victim. "I'm going to tell you something. Turn around and marched right back to the Sergeant. Tell him…tell him I'm tired of always having to be the one to fix things around here. Tell him to go and bother one of the other so-called scientists. Tell him…"
She hesitated for a few seconds, turned around and then as a sort of an afterthought concluded the sentence, "Tell him…in fact you can tell the whole base I'm resigning as of this minute. Just make sure to tell our beloved General the good news first, he'll sure love hearing it from you."
Without waiting for a reply she stormed down the corridor, leaving the poor Airman staring open-mouth, stunned and with shaking legs at her retreating form.
After a few minutes, half of the time it normally took her to make her way from the General's Office to her lab, Sam was back into the safety of a familiar, comfortable environment - her lab, her home away from home.
She had charged into her office, swearing profanities that would have made her father's hair grew a few extra shaded greyer, and was now sitting at her desk, staring unseeingly into the distance.
She sat that way for quite a while, trying to fathom what the hell had happened between her and the General earlier on. She had no idea what step to take next, what action would be sufficient to make her future tolerable. Most of all how was she supposed to give expression to the strange feelings that were running rampage through her mind, threatening to turn her into one crazy Colonel, to force her to go and look up the closest madhouse…
Oh…wait…maybe there was a way.
Sam sat up a bit straighter, a bright smile started forming slowly across her face, her eyes lightened up.
Yes, there was definitely an idea forming at the back of her brilliant, yet sometimes almost scary, mind.
Dipping her head below her table Sam started browsing through the disarrayed contents of her drawers, a stark contrast to her otherwise neat lab. After all nobody ever had the privilege of laying their eyes on the interesting secrets hiding away in the deepest, darkest corners of her drawers and neither was she planning to allow it in the near future.
"I know you are here somewhere. I put you away just the other day, to get you away from the doohickey-obsessed hands of the General," Sam murmured to herself as she pushed away sweets wrappers, pieces of paper with hastily scribbled calculations on, an old, unopened envelope with the words, 'Letter of Resignation: Major Samantha Carter' typed on it and as she delved deeper a long ago taken photo of a certain grey-haired Commanding Officer and herself was revealed.
Sam pulled it out, gave it one look, made an attempt to tear it up but at the last moment thought twice about it and instead threw it back into the drawer. After all it was the only photo of The General and herself that she possessed and the way things were going it might be that way for some time to go. She was just about to give up hope on finding what she was looking for when she noticed something gleaming at the back of her drawer.
Pulling it out Sam could not help but utter a satisfied; "Aha…found you my trustworthy palmtop." Turning it around and around in her hands she still was unable to understand how the General could have thought that it was a Gameboy that one day when he was fortunate (or was that unfortunate?) enough to lay his hands on it.
"A thought for another day," Sam decided while shrugging her shoulders. After all those years of working closely with him she was still unable to comprehend the way his mind was working sometimes.
Holding her breath in the Colonel switched on the small electronic device, it's small screen flicked to life almost immediately. Luck was on her side, the batteries were still holding after all the time. Pulling out the small pen-like object that came with her favourite toy she only needed to think for a few seconds before scribbling down in big, bright letters:
TEN EASY WAYS TO MAKE JACK O'NEILL GO CRAZY
The big smile planted on Sam's face increased in size as she admired her handiwork before continuing writing.
Revenge: Nothing is as sweet as a woman's scorn. If I'm to turn crazy then I'm taking that man along with me for the ride.
Number 1 -
He's an old fashion, chauvinist SOB!!!!!!
That very first day we met…that day in the debriefing room…my blood is still boiling at the thought of how he treated me. Who says he's not still thinking I'm just another scientist in the privacy of his own thoughts.
But…
On the other hand….
No! I refuse to see any more goodness in that man.
Now, what will be the best way to make him go crazy? Hmmm….
Aha, got it.
I WILL attend the next debriefing dressed in nothing else but my watch and shoes. I will enter that room in my birthing suit a few minutes after everybody else had already taken a seat. Once I'm in the room, and sure I'll have everybody's attention, I'll give the General one look and then say casually, "I want you…right here…right now."
And then…and then…and then (why do I keep on stuttering here?)…and then I will throw him on the table and ravage him over and over again for the whole world to see.
Haha, can only imagine the poor man's face.
Note to myself – I wonder what J-A-C-K (see I can say and spell his name, hehe) tastes like? Maybe like chicken…nah…but like my dear old dad always say – you have to try everything in life at least once. I'm sure he meant with that tasting a man's butt too.
Number 2 –
This is in case nobody notices me entering the room naked and hence spoiling all my fun.
Man – men – testosterone maniacs – whatever you want to call them are all the same. When you least want it they don't notice you're body (or the fact that you're naked) and with my luck that is exactly what will happen to me.
Okay, so what else can I try out?
HIS GAMEBOY!!
Will need Daniel's assistance in this regard, but I'm sure he won't mind. After all I'm sure I saw just the other day him compiling a list on how to get revenge on J-A-C-K (see once again I'm more than able to say and spell his name. Wow on me!)
Right, so what I'm going to do is take the Gameboy and program everything to display in Ancient. Or better yet whatever language those cute little Asgard guys talk.
Man, I must remember to concentrate more when Daniel explains something to me.
Another note to myself – stop daydreaming about your commanding officer.
WHAT!!!!
Did I actually just write that? For the record I've never, ever (okay maybe just a tiny bit, but nothing to write home about) daydreamed about Jonathan `Jack' O'Neill.
Number 3 –
In case the General is smart enough to go and buy another Gameboy or get another Ancient implant in his head and go and program his Gameboy to say who knows what.
Or…
In case Daniel will look at me petrified and tells me to go and see someone for my definitely severe case of the crazy bug.
Contact my Dad and ask (no plead, no dad can refuse a daughter's pleading you know) that a certain big breasted Tok'ra female come and visit the base. I don't think that lady will need to have a valid reason to come and visit, in fact I'll tell Dad that any reason will do. I can only imagine the General's face if she's to show up at his office's doorstep without any prior warning.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Jeesh, now that I think about it he never had to deal with his favourite alien species since having taken on his new responsibility.
Shame, I just can't do that to my poor innocent General.
Number 4 -
To use the General's favourite quote, "For crying out loud," can I think of nothing else?
Let me see.
Hmm.
I wonder what will happen if, if I were to rig the Stargate? I can just imagine it now. Changed the Stargate so that once the General steps through it…well let's just say he will come out the other side known as Jacqueline O'Neill.
To make it even better I'll give him a year's subscription to the best woman's magazine on the market.
Maybe that way he'll finally get to feel what it's like to be me…a woman in his world.
Another note to myself - I wonder how black lipstick (Jack's favourite colour) will look on him?
Number 5 -
Wait.
Wait for it. I just had the most wonderful idea, something that's sure to rock Jack's world.
I'm going to march right now over to his office and tell him - a big smile is crossing my face right now - that I'M PREGNANT.
No…
I think I'll wait until Kensey honours us with one of his rare visits and then I'll give both of them a surprise of their lives.
Nah, this idea's just plain stupid.
Number 6 -
Isn't Jack's (still can't believe I can call him by his name) birthday just around the corner?
Well, then we should definitely get him pie…and cake. Cake is good!
I'll get all of the SGC personnel to assemble in the Gateroom when I provide him with a plate full of nice, delicious, good old-fashioned cake.
Just as he finished the last bit I'll take one of his fingers and…
HOLLY HANNAH!!!
I Can't believe the direction my thoughts are going here. PG-200 here. Shame on you Sam for your dirty thoughts.
Number 7 -
Man, I really do crave for some nice, delicious cake right now.
Anyway, to get back on tract. What else can I try on Jacqueline O'Neill. Hehe, that name still cracks me up, must remember to mention it to Daniel.
Daniel…
Daniel?
Daniel! Yes Daniel.
Daniel and I can pretend to be a couple. We'll wait until Jack's busy with a very important - in fact Galaxy important - meeting in the debriefing room before doing our act.
I'll get the Gate to start dialling automatically and just as everybody in the debriefing room starts peering out to see what's going on Daniel and I will appear in the Gateroom and start making out right there and then.
Or maybe I should try it with Teal'c?
Shrug, who cares. They are both bodily delicious in their own right and are sure to make the General go bonkers if he were to see me making out with one of them.
Number 8 -
I wonder if a good hit over the head will work with this man?
Or maybe a blast with a Zat on a certain, strategic spot?
Number 9 -
Think Sam, think. What else is there?
You're ideas are going downhill rapidly here. I wonder if I'm allowed to push a one star General through a Stargate? If I remember correctly I still owe him one after that first time for me through the Gate when he dared to push me.
Number 10 -
What I'm thinking about now a nice sharp knife will be quite sufficient for and -
Wait, is that a knock at the door?
Sam spun around at the realisation that she had actually heard a knock on her lab's door…but who would bother to knock - especially since she did not actually lock the door to begin with.
Her eyes grew wilder and her mouth hung open involuntary when she saw who was standing at the entrance.
"Jac…I mean General…Sir - what are you doing here?" She wanted to hit herself for stuttering over her words.
At first Jack did not say anything. He just stared at her with a strange emotion displayed on his face. "Busy are we?" he finally commented after a few seconds.
"Sir?" Sam asked, confused as to what he was referring to. Then registering the palmtop that was still clutched in her one hand she blushed guiltily and tried to let it disappear into one of the drawers without drawing too much further attention to it.
Jack's reply was to cock his eyebrow at her.
"Uh…was just busy with calculations and stuff," Sam tried to defend herself.
"And stuff," was all she received in reply.
"What are you doing here Sir?" Anything to chance the direction of the conversation.
This time it was Jack's turn to appear uncomfortable, even unsure of himself.
A long silence followed.
"I…" Jack started off after a while and then hesitated. His eyes connection with the Colonel's for an intense moment before darting away.
It was then that Sam noticed a piece of paper crumbled up in one of his hands.
"Is that meant for me Sir?" she queried and then added quickly, "I mean the piece of paper. Do you want me to do something for you…I mean a calculation or something."
Jack's nodded his head slightly and took a deep breath. He appeared to be in an urgent need to say something to her, but struggled to let the words come out.
At the end he sighed, took a few steps forward and pushed the piece of paper in her hand.
"Call me after you've read this," he whispered hurriedly and rushed, almost run out of the lab without looking back once.
Frowning Sam opened the strange letter and started reading it:
TEN REASONS WHY I LOVE SAMANTHA CARTER AND WISH TO MAKE HER A PERMANENT PART OF MY LIFE
1. Because of that special smile she normally reserves for me.
2. Her wonderful, caring personality.
3. Her bright, shiny smile - definitely the windows to her soul.
4. Her outer beauty (inner beauty is also relevant here) - man she's hot!!
Sam struggled not to giggle at his number 4. That was between trying to hold down the tears threatening to pour down her cheeks. After a while, after having composed herself in a reasonable fashion, she continued reading.
5. Her chancing hairdo. Someday I have to ask her why she keeps on trying to improve on perfection.
6. Her brilliant mind. She has a way of making me want to listen to her, although most of the times I don't understand a word she says.
7. Her sense of humour. She's the only one that has ever laughed at my lame jokes and at the same time appeared to be genuine about it.
8. I have to make mention of her laughter too. She doesn't laugh aloud a lot but when she does…All I can say is I'll be willing to miss every single episode of the Simpsons for one of those.
9. Her fingers. I love the way she types on her keyboard.
10. Her legs - I wonder how it will feel to run my fingers up and down them.
At this stage Sam had given in to her overpowering desire to cry. The tears were now streaming down her cheeks. She almost did not notice a sentence written down at the very bottom of the page.
11. Lastly, but I guess I can call it number 11. Samantha Carter, will you marry me?
P.S. Is it too soon to ask you yet?
TE
Story Notes: E-Mail: ngeldenhuys@wol.co.za
Category: Humor/Romance
Pairings: Sam/Jack
Spoilers: Season 7 onwards
Season: Future Season
Content Warnings: None really
Archive: SJD Yes, all the others just ask me first
Author's Note: I'll be lying if I say I wasn't over the moon due to the wonderful feedback I received for the first story. Thank you to everybody that send me an e-mail. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.
Anyway you guys inspired me to write a sequel. You may interpret it as a sequel to the first story or a story standing all on it's own. I just hope it will be of the same standard as the first story and that you'll enjoy it too.
Category: Humor/Romance
Pairings: Sam/Jack
Spoilers: Season 7 onwards
Season: Future Season
Content Warnings: None really
Archive: SJD Yes, all the others just ask me first
Author's Note: I'll be lying if I say I wasn't over the moon due to the wonderful feedback I received for the first story. Thank you to everybody that send me an e-mail. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.
Anyway you guys inspired me to write a sequel. You may interpret it as a sequel to the first story or a story standing all on it's own. I just hope it will be of the same standard as the first story and that you'll enjoy it too.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]