The cell Sam Carter was in was pitch black. At first it was just annoying, but after a bit it was confusing. She was occasionally brought food and water (she dreaded to think how much food was spilled down the front of her. Eating in the dark was hard) So why wasn't there any light at least visible through a doorway when the food was brought in? Did the inhabitants of this planet not need light? Perhaps their night vision had evolved to a point where they could see in the dark. And where the heck were her teammates? She'd seen them both get hit with some energy weapon before she herself had gone down. She had no injuries other than a headache that was finally receding, so she assumed that a zat-like weapon had just stunned them. If that was the case where were Teal'c and Daniel?
Her mind kept her busy for the first day. What did these people want? She hadn't been interrogated or abused in any way and based on the number of meals served she'd been here for almost two days. Finally, with no way to get any answers to her questions, (the language was not anything she'd been able to even understand a word of) she was getting bored and more than a bit concerned. Especially when she remembered how the Goa'uld percussion grenades had temporarily blinded them when they were on Apophis's ship. What if the room wasn't dark, what if she'd been blinded? Were Daniel and Teal'c sitting waiting in darkness somewhere too?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Daniel and Teal'c were not sitting in the dark, although for the amount of information they were getting from their hosts they might as well have been. After two days all Daniel had been able to determine was that the beams they had been hit with just after exiting the Stargate were part of a defense system; that Sam had been 'damaged'; and now that the Yetolans had discovered that they were not Goa'ulds they were most apologetic. They offered another servant to replace the one they had 'damaged'.
"Do you think that means that she is dead, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c had questioned once they had finally begun some sort of dialog with the village elder.
"I hope not, Teal'c. I think it means she's injured which could be bad. We need to get them to take us to her so we can get her back to the SGC," Daniel replied.
It took another day. Finally they determined that this was an Asgard protested planet, and like many others they worshiped Thor. They convinced the elder that Sam was a handmaiden to Thor and that they needed to return her to him. Soon they were being led to a building off of the square, one of the few made entirely of stone. There on a bed they found their teammate sitting with her back to the wall and her knees pulled up to her chest. For one of the first times since Daniel had met her Sam looked scared.
That changed the instant she heard his voice.
"Sam? Are you ok?" he asked as he and Teal'c were escorted into the room.
Her head, which had been resting forward against her arms with her eyes closes jerked up and she turned towards his voice.
"Daniel?" she replied in relief.
"Are you ok? They kept telling us you were hurt, but they wouldn't let us see you," Daniel exclaimed. There seemed to be something off about her but he couldn't put his finger on it. He didn't see any obvious injuries.
Her next words stunned him. "Are *you* Ok? And where is Teal'c?" she questioned.
Teal'c felt his heart sink. He too had sensed something wrong the instant he'd seen his friend. Now he knew what it was. He walked very quietly over to stand in front of her and spoke. "I am here Colonel Carter," he informed her as he reached out to put a hand on her shoulder.
Her face turned towards his voice and she put a hand up to cover his where it lay. "Can you both see alright?" she queried.
"Indeed we can, Colonel Carter. Are we correct in assuming that you cannot?" he asked in concern.
"The lights are definitely out," she quipped, and Daniel couldn't help but think that she had learned a few too many lessons from Jack O'Neill.
"We'll get you back home and let the doctor's check you out, Sam," he told her. And with a few words to the people behind him, he and Teal'c retrieved their weapons and packs, and each took one of Sam's arms to make the journey home.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
When the Klaxons sounded and Davis announced that it was SG1, Jack was relieved. They were several hours overdue and they had just been preparing to open the gate to try to contact them. When he saw all three of them walk through onto the ramp upright and not bleeding he let out a huge breath he had been holding, and headed down to meet them. As he skidded to a stop in front of the three he realized he had relaxed too soon. Daniel and Teal'c were looking at Sam in concern, and the Colonel was gazing off into the distance blankly.
"We need to get Sam to the infirmary," Daniel told him, and Jack heart sank. One look at Daniel's face told him something was seriously wrong.
He immediately began running down what could have happened. There didn't appear to be any bruises to indicate physical torture, but then there hadn't been any marks left behind by Fifth when he had done a number on her mentally. Rape was always a concern, and he felt nauseous as the possibility presented itself to his active imagination. As soon as the medics arrived he held his breath and tried to pay attention to what Teal'c was telling them.
"We all took a blast from some Asgard defense weapon. It stunned us, but for some reason, Colonel Carter's sight was affected," he told Dr. Brightman as the medics got Sam on a gurney.
"She's totally blind," Daniel clarified. "She has been since five minutes after we arrived on P4R-033."
At first the words didn't sink in. Of all the scenarios running through his head, this wasn't one of them. The next instant the enormity of it hit him square in the gut. And suddenly the concern and despair in his eyes matched that to be found in Daniel's and Teal'c's who had each already had time to think about the consequences.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The next several days were a confusing whirlwind of tests and specialists. There were discussions of possible surgeries, and a team was sent to Cimmeria to contact the Asgard since it was their technology that caused the injury. Teal'c sent a message to Bra'tac to have the rebel Jaffa try to pass a message to the Tok'ra. Another team was sent to try to study the weapon itself.
They pieced together that the defenses were designed to shoot out beams at about knee level to stun whoever came through the Gate. Somehow the first volley had missed Sam, and when she had bent down to check Daniel's pulse a second round had hit her square in the face damaging her corneas and retinas.
Sam tried to remain hopeful throughout. She was rarely left alone, which most of the time she appreciated. However twice over the course of the next three days she shipped her teammates out of the room so she could indulge in a crying jag. After the second one, Jack asked if she had contacted Pete yet, and offered to get him clearance to visit in the infirmary. Sam told him he was busy wrapping up his final case in Denver before he made the move to Colorado Springs, and she had missed him both times she had tried to call him. She'd left a message just saying she was back the first time. Just a few hours ago she had left him a more urgent message to call her. Somehow she couldn't just blurt out the words to an answering machine.
Pete called back several hours later and it was all Sam could do to stay composed enough to give him the basic details. He was at her side in the infirmary two hours later listening in confusion to the doctor's prognosis.
"Are you saying there is nothing you can do?" he asked in astonishment.
"There are currently no procedures to correct the damage incurred," Dr. Brightman confirmed. "Perhaps as medical science progresses, or if one of our allies come forward," she began only to be cut off by a signal from Daniel. Pete wasn't authorized to know about any of their 'allies'.
Daniel watched the couple accept the news. Sam had her best military face on. He knew she must be scared to death, but you would never know it by looking at her. Pete's fear was a little bit easier to detect, and Daniel was actually glad Sam couldn't see it. He hoped that the man was going to be able to deal with this. The detective's next actions didn't relieve his mind any. Pete sank wordlessly into the chair by Sam's bed leaving Sam looking lonely and confused. Daniel moved in to take her hand and gave her a kiss on the top of her head and she leaned into him letting him know that the quiet show of love and support had been just what she needed at that point.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
Pete stayed overnight in one of the VIP quarters, and the next day he took Sam home. Daniel promised to stop off at the grocery store and do some shopping for them, and Pete invited him to dinner along with Teal'c. By the time the two arrived, Sam was maneuvering around her house fairly well, although she didn't try to assist with getting dinner on the table. Her teammates certainly knew where everything was in her house by now and had no problems finding plates and silverware.
The evening set the tone for the next several weeks. SG1 was off the mission roster, although Daniel and Teal'c both were putting in time on various projects. They still had plenty of time to spend with Sam. Pete started his new job a week after he brought Sam home, and was glad for the help from her teammates. Jack stopped by when he could. The reality was that with no one to lead SG1and no Carter to work on the Gate and the technology that was brought back he was swamped. Siler was doing his best to keep the gate humming, and other teams were picking up extra missions, but the science geeks were driving him crazy. Sam had always buffered both he and Hammond from the day to day workings of the labs. Now every petty problem was brought to him.
On top of all that, he was busting his butt keeping the brass from serving up Sam's discharge paperwork. He lobbied hard to allow time for the Asgard or Tok'ra to get back to them. He didn't want to have her drummed out only to have a miraculous cure show up through the gate. While he couldn't be with her in person as much as he wanted (and he thought maybe that was a good thing since her fiancé would be hanging around) he talked to her on the phone every day. He, better than anyone, knew that she was antsy and depressed. In his spare time he did some research and planned a surprise for her. He personally paid for a new laptop loaded with screen readers, a raised letter keyboard that spoke as you typed, and other speech enabled software and told her the Airforce had authorized it. Teal'c reported that she was practically bouncing in glee when he delivered it. She had been in PC withdrawal.
None of them were surprised at how fast Sam learned braille. Teal'c, who was very familiar with the public library as he had used it extensively in his quest for knowledge of his adopted planet, was the one that pointed out that they had books and magazines both in braille and on tape. Soon Sam was stocked up her precious science journals, which cheered her up immensely.
Still, even as she progressed rapidly in adjusting to her new condition, her mood swings became harder to control. She tried not to take it out on Pete or Daniel who both tended to hover, but some days she just needed to order them both out of her house. She felt bad afterwards, especially since Pete really had nowhere else to go. Teal'c was better at spotting when she'd reached her breaking point than the other two men were, and often offered to take her out when she was about to explode. As a result she ended up shedding a lot of tears on his broad shoulders which he bore with silent compassion.
Finally the day came when Jack could no longer put off her discharge. He made a case to the President and the Joint Chiefs that even as a civilian Sam Carter was still *the* expert on the Stargate, and that she should retain her security clearance by being given a position as a consultant. While this was true, his ulterior motive was that she still was on base for medical check-ups and spent a lot of time with people at the SGC and he didn't want people to have to watch what they said around her. He was hoping that this would help keep her from feeling too cut off.
Still, he brought Daniel and Teal'c with him the day he had to give her the news. Their job was to get Pete out of the house so that he could talk to her alone. After a few pleasantries Daniel made some lame excuse and the three men left.
And Jack was left facing the woman he loved about to give her news that he knew would devastate her.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
She knew something was up and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what it was.
'Good thing,' she thought, 'because I think my days as a rocket scientist are over'.
She tried to pay attention to Jack's words, and she knew that there was some good news about still being a consultant buried in there somewhere, but all that kept echoing through her mind were the words 'medical discharge'. She suddenly realized that he had stopped talking.
"I'm sorry, Sir. Where are my manners? Can I get you something to drink?" she asked already moving into the kitchen. "Is it too early for a beer?"
"Not for me it isn't," Jack replied following her every move with concerned eyes.
When he saw her falter as she reached for the fridge he was immediately at her side, and as she took great stuttering breaths trying to maintain her control he drew her into his arms.
"Let it out," he ordered.
And as if she had just been waiting for permission her entire body shuddered as she did just that. Eventually he moved them into the living room where he sat down on the couch and gathered her in even closer, pressing kisses to the top of her head and promising her it would be ok.
As he rocked her he could only hope that it really would be.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Meanwhile, Daniel and Teal'c were trying to keep Pete away from the house after telling him what was going on. He was adamant that Sam would need him to comfort him.
"Pete, don't take this wrong, but I think in this case Jack is the best person to console her. He understands better than anyone just what losing her commission this way means to her," Daniel told him.
Pete looked doubtful, but agreed to give them some space. Still it was a scant hour later that they returned to Sam's house. They heard quiet murmuring from the living room and Pete made a beeline for the voices, only to stop short when he saw his fiancee curled up practically in Jack O'Neill's lap in a very intimate pose. Her head was on his shoulder, their hands were intertwined and she was talking in a low serious voice. If either of them had heard the three enter they gave no indication. Even more to his surprise, when Jack finally did indicate to her that they were back she made no move to get up.
"Hey," she sniffled in their general direction. "So I suppose you all know the news," she sighed.
Pete's mouth opened and closed, but for the life of him he couldn't make any coherent sound. Luckily Dr. Jackson came to his rescue.
"We are so sorry Sam," Daniel said moving to stand behind the couch and placing a hand on her shoulder in support. "You look like you could use some tea," he suggested and when she nodded with another sniffle, Pete snapped out of his stupor.
"I'll make some. Do the rest of you want anything?" he asked and then set about being the perfect host.
It was only when they all sat down that Sam moved out of Jack O'Neill's arms and Pete could see that the man's shirt was soaked and streaked from Sam's tears. Somehow that made him feel better.
They sat around and he listened while her friends chatted about her possible career moves now. He tried not to feel jealous of how Sam seemed to lean on the other three men instinctively, but he couldn't help but wonder if she would even notice if he wasn't there.
"You're still needed at the SGC Sam," Daniel was assuring her.
"Thanks, Daniel and I know I will still consult. I doubt I'll be there full time though. Realistically I can't do too much research without my sight," she said sadly.
"No, but we sure could use you to do consulting and training, and I know that Kerrigan would jump at the chance to have you teach at the Academy," Jack offered.
Sam perked up at the thought. She always enjoyed lecturing at the Academy.
"Well, there is no hurry for her to decide," Pete contributed. "She can use the downtime to plan our wedding."
There was total silence.
Daniel and Teal'c avoided looking at anyone by both staring at the ground in front of them. The two of them had already had a very interesting conversation about what they thought would happen now that Sam was no longer under Jack's command. And Jack's thoughts had been running along those lines as well.
Sam didn't know what to say. Her life had been turned upside down and getting married was the farthest thing from her mind at this point. She just smiled, and let the subject drop. However later when she and Pete were alone he brought up the topic again.
"We should think about setting a date soon so that you can put all of this free time to good use," he suggested.
Sam didn't want to hurt his feelings, but there was no way she was up to planning a wedding at this point. She couldn't admit to him though that the thought of trying to pick out a wedding dress that she would never see, not to mention flowers and all of the other details, left her feeling desperately depressed. Really all she wanted was a simple backyard wedding. She could easily limit her list of people to be invited to twelve. When she suggested this however, Pete quickly vetoed that idea. He had a large family and wanted everyone in attendance.
After a couple of tense discussions on the subject over the next several days Pete astutely backed off. There was no hurry and if Sam needed more time to come around to the idea of a big wedding he was willing to wait. Instead he launched into plans to go buy a bigger house for the two of them. This time Sam was adamant. She was not moving anytime in the near future.
"I don't even know where I'll be working, Pete. It's just not practical to be looking at houses at this point," she told trying to appeal with logic.
"Colorado Springs is not *that* big Sam. We should pick the house based on the neighborhood and schools," he countered.
Sam figured she owed him some honesty. "I can't handle moving Pete. The thought of having to relearn every step and where every item in the house is all over again is more than I can cope with right now," she admitted.
If Jack noticed Sam's stress levels building during their daily calls he didn't say anything. They talked about other things, Cassie's latest news from school, Sam's appointment with General Kerrigan over at the Academy, and the new Captain on SG12 who had developed quite a crush on Daniel. Then one day she called obviously upset, and despite his promise to himself to keep out of her personal life he found his mouth was ahead of his brain as usual.
"What the matter, Carter?" he asked, cringing even as the words left his mouth.
She paused. She too had made a vow to not bring up anything related to Pete to him. But she was feeling especially down and was too tired to worry about whether it was appropriate or not to tell him her problems.
"Pete and I had a huge fight. His department is having a barbecue, a family thing, and he wants to go. I really don't," she told him, knowing she wouldn't have to go into the reasons with him.
"Doesn't sound fun to me either," he sympathized. "Tell Pete to go without you this time, and you will work on meeting the people he works with in smaller groups. That way it won't be so overwhelming," he suggested, instinctively knowing that was what was bothering her.
"I did, and he understood in the end, but I hate having to keep explaining to him that I just can't cope, and I hate not being able to cope. I used to be able to cope with anything," she confessed.
"You're just off your game, Carter. You'll get back in the swing. You're already astounding all of the therapists so stop pushing yourself so hard," he ordered. "When is this party?"
"Sunday," she sighed.
"Well, I have Sunday off, so what say while Pete goes and does the party circuit you and I have a little outing of our own," he offered. "Just the two of us, I promise. No place crowded or noisy."
"What did you have in mind?" she asked, her interest peaked.
"It's a surprise, Carter," he chuckled.
"I hate surprises almost as much as you do, Sir," she reminded him.
"I promise you'll thank me later," he teased, and she gave up. There was no way he would tell her a thing when he was in that mood.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Sunday dawned bright and clear, and Pete tried once more to convince her to come to the barbecue. She admitted to him that she was going to spend a quiet day with General O'Neill, not wanting to keep anything from him.
"What are you going to do?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, which he was glad she couldn't see. He didn't want to act like the jealous boyfriend but something about Jack O'Neill caused warning bells to go off every time he saw him around Sam.
"I'm not sure, he said he had a surprise for me," Sam admitted. "But he promised no crowds," she added and Pete could see her forehead crease as she tried to puzzle out what the General could possible have planned.
"Well, I won't stay late. I'm just going to make an appearance and then come back," Pete told her.
"Relax and have fun, Pete. You deserve a day out and I'm sure you are anxious to get to know everyone better," she told him, giving him a kiss goodbye that was too short for his liking.
Twenty minutes later Jack arrived, and five minutes after that she was in his truck still with no clue as to where they were headed. Her previous inquiries on what to wear had been answered with a mysterious "Doesn't matter," so all she could do now was sit back and trust the man. With a small smile she acknowledged that she still did trust him with her life, even though he was no longer her CO.
Huh.
No. Longer. Her. CO.
It wasn't like she was just realizing that now, so why was the thought so disquieting?
Before she could analyze it, a noise from outside the truck drew her attention. She'd recognize that sound anywhere. Plane engines. A moment later they stopped and she realized they were at a security checkpoint.
Peterson. They were at Peterson. She straightened in her seat and turned to Jack in excitement.
"Sir?" she whispered.
"Care to go for a spin, Carter?" he asked watching her face light up, glad he had followed his instincts in setting this up. He needed a few hours flight time to keep his certification up, and he was sure that Sam would be up for it. The woman was an adrenaline junkie.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
They returned to Sam's house six hours later to find Pete pacing anxiously.
"Sam where the hell have you been. I've been so worried!" he exclaimed even as he noticed that that his fiancee was glowing.
"I'm sorry, Pete. We didn't mean to be so long, but we had the chance to take an F-16 out and it was so fantastic we spent more time than we meant to," Sam babbled excitedly.
It had been a stroke of luck really. The normal fleet at Peterson was comprised of C-21A support planes, but there were always a few trainers around for pilots to take out for certification runs. Jack had called over to Peterson the week before planning on reserving one of them only to learn that there were going to be three F-16D's at the base over the week-end. For the first time since his promotion Jack used his rank to pull strings, and by the end of the call the two of them had the use of one of the fighters for several hours.
Needless to say they had spent every minute in the air that they could and he'd let Sam take the controls for a stretch. He'd seen her pilot the F-302's and knew she was a good enough pilot to fly by feel. Besides once they were up high enough there wasn't too much danger. He'd been right. Even sightless she'd flown rings around most pilots he knew. And there had been such a freedom and joy to her maneuvers once she'd gotten past her initial nervousness.
Still, they would have been back hours ago if it hadn't been for the conversation they overheard once back at the hanger. One of the pilots of the C-21A's was describing to a mechanic an odd noise he was hearing in one of the plane's engines. Soon Sam was in the pilot's seat with the engine rumbling. The young Captain and the tech sergeant had both looked skeptical when she'd climbed down and diagnosed the problem, but an hour later they were shaking their heads and offering her a job. Seems they had been trying to find the problem for a week.
"Don't feel bad," Jack had advised them. "There isn't anything with a power source she can't figure out."
Sam had overheard and blushed. That might have been true at one point, but not now, she thought. Still, it had felt good to be digging into a problem and coming up with the solution again.
So it was a much happier Sam Carter that was saying goodbye to Jack now. As he made to leave she stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"Sir," she started.
"You know you really don't have to call me that anymore, Carter," he complained.
She nodded. "I just wanted to say thank you, *Jack*," she continued emphasizing his name.
"You're more than welcome, *Sam*," he replied. She didn't need to see him to know he was grinning.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
That was just the beginning of what turned out to be a very good week for Sam. On Monday she met with General Kerrigan, and he immediately offered her a post at the Academy, telling her she could lecture part time or full time, whichever she preferred. She accepted a part time position to begin with. On Tuesday, she was called into the SGC to deal with a dialing glitch. Slightly nervous about how much help she would be at first, and sure everyone was staring at her, it only took her a few minutes in the control room to feel like she was back in the groove. Siler and Davis were both there to answer her questions and get her the results of diagnostics and both treated her so normally she forgot her earlier concerns. She even stopped correcting them when they addressed her as 'Colonel'.
Then on Thursday she was called into the SGC again. This time to meet with a visitor that had come through the gate. As soon as she entered the boardroom she recognized the voice. Unable to read any facial expressions she was immediately concerned.
"Malek," she greeted. "I hope you are not bringing us bad news."
"No, Samantha," he responded. "I worked with several of the rebel Jaffa on my last mission and they told us you had been injured. I was zig-zagging my way through the various gates to bring my report to the Council and thought I would stop here to see if I could be of assistance. I regret to tell you I have no news of your father and Selmak. I have not seen or heard from them in many months. We are quite scattered at this point," he explained.
"I appreciate your offer of help, Malek. I'm not sure if there is anything you can do, but as you can tell I have lost my sight. The injury was due to a shot from an Asgard defense weapon. We have a healing device here. If you are willing, I would be most grateful if you could use it to see if you can correct any of the damage done," she told him.
"Of course, I would be honored to be of assistance," he told them.
They moved on down into the infirmary and Teal'c went to Sam's lab to retrieve the healing device. Sam couldn't believe how nervous she was and somewhere along the line she grabbed Jack's hand and now had it in a death grip. Jack had been surprised at first, but one look at Sam's face had told him all he needed to know. He sat by her side and murmured a few words of comfort. Luckily Sam couldn't see the look Daniel threw to Teal'c when he noticed their clasped hands, nor the Jaffa's raised eyebrow in return. Jack saw however and was going to chew them out when he realized it would just upset Sam. He vowed to talk to both of his friends later.
Malek worked on each of her eyes for about ten minutes. When he was done he sat back with a sigh telling Sam to keep her eyes closed for another five minutes.
"I think I have been able to fix most of the damage to the right eye, except for some scarring on the clear front part, I believe you call the cornea. The left eye was more severely damaged, and I'm not sure if my efforts have made any significant improvement. In a few minutes Samantha may open her eyes, although I recommend we keep the lighting levels low and increase them slowly to give her eyes time to adjust," the Tok'ra explained.
It was an hour later before the doctor's would give an assessment, but the entire group present already knew from Sam's face that the news was good.
"She can see out of her right eye, although the scarring is causing some blind spots. The left eye is now recognizing light patterns, but beyond shadows it is still not functional," Dr. Brightman reported. "We are going to put her on the list for a corneal transplant in her right eye. With that we think we can restore full vision on that side."
It was a cheery, grateful group that saw Malek off through the gate. He promised Sam that he would pass along word of her current condition to the Council in hopes that when Jacob checked in they would be able to give him the updated news.
It was only after he had left and Dr. Brightman had cleared Sam to leave with strict instructions to wear sunglasses as she would be light sensitive for a bit that a thought struck Sam.
How exactly did she explain this sudden improvement to Pete?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Pete wasn't happy with her inability to tell him anything and Sam could tell he had a million questions. In the end though he simply wrapped her in a hug a whispered that he was happy for her. She did sit down with him and outline what would be involved with the transplant once she made it to the top of the list. The operation was fairly straight forward, and the rejection rate was extremely low because the cornea did not involve any blood vessels, so blood type was not a factor that had to be matched. However the recovery was fairly long, and her sight would actually regress for a period after the surgery.
All of this made Pete want to set a date for the wedding and get married and into a new house while she was on the waiting list, so he began to push again. Sam still had no desire to move. If anything she was having a harder time now as she was less cautious so furniture kept leaping out of those blind spots when she wasn't paying attention. Her poor shins needed protection.
And she still wanted a small wedding, Something that led to another fight. But that one was nothing compared to the one that came when Sam returned home from an appointment at the SGC all excited and told Pete she was going to go away for awhile for more treatment. He wanted to come with and was furious when she told him he couldn't.
What she couldn't tell him was that the Thor had finally shown up, and on hearing her plight had immediately put a couple of the Asgard scientists onto the problem. They had cloned corneas for her, and with their surgical techniques and medical pods she would be able to recover in a matter of weeks. In addition, they thought they could correct a lot of the remaining damage in her left eye. Of course they were going to need to transport her to one of their ships with a large medical lab, and so she would be gone for up to three weeks.
He'd argued with her for hours, telling her she shouldn't be alone while she was going through something like this. Finally she'd admitted that she wasn't going to be, that General O'Neill was going with her. The silence that followed that confession was a bit scary.
Finally Pete exploded. "O'Neill? What gives him the right? I'm you're fiance. It's my right to be by your side not his."
Sam took a deep breath and tried to explain. "Where I'm going is classified. You can't come," she told him. What she omitted was the fact that she had asked Jack to go with her, and he had instantly agreed, calling Hammond and telling him that he needed to take some personal time and asking for someone to cover the base. When Hammond had found out the reason for the request he had volunteered to come fill in himself.
But Pete had had enough. "Anybody but him Sam. Take Daniel or Teal'c. I don't like the way Jack O'Neill looks at you. I need you to take someone else."
"And it doesn't matter to you what I need?" she asked with a dangerous glint in her eyes.
Pete realized his mistake. "Of course it does, but if you love me, then you will ask someone else instead," he cajoled.
"Just like if you loved me you would understand that I want a small wedding not a big one, or that I don't want to move just now," Sam countered. "I know you've been out looking at houses behind my back."
"I figured if I found something great you would change your mind," he defended himself.
Sam gave a big sigh and ran her hand through her hair. When had this relationship gotten to this point? Shouldn't they be making joint decisions and compromising instead of giving each other ultimatums? Besides , she was finally being truthful with herself, and she'd admitted that she couldn't imagine going through this without Jack by her side. Pete's request for her to take someone else had just brought that fact home to her once again. And suddenly she knew why it was so hard with Pete, and it was crystal clear to her what she needed to do.
She slid the ring off of her finger and held it out to him. "I'm sorry Pete, this isn't going to work. You deserve someone who wants the same things you do, and that's not me," she said simply.
He argued of course, but the more he argued the more sure she became of her choice. Finally she put a hand up to stop him. "This is for the best Pete, and you know it. I'm going to pack my things, and spend the night on base. I will be leaving tomorrow. There is no hurry for you to move out, I'll be gone a minimum of two weeks. Hopefully that will be enough time for you to find someplace. Maybe one of those houses you've been looking at?" she told him, and then she went into the bedroom and shut the door.
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Thor picked them up the next day. She's said a teary goodbye to Daniel and Teal'c who had each once again offered to accompany her. They didn't push the issue though. Both of them thought that it was good thing she was taking Jack with her, and were hoping that the time away would bring the two together. They both had pointedly reminded Jack of the lack of regs earlier that day earning a glare from the General for their efforts.
Jack was more than aware of the irony that the only thing keeping him from exploring a relationship with Sam now was the fact that she had another man's ring on her finger. Still, she had asked him to go with her, so that had to mean something.
Sam for her part wanted to tell Jack that it was over with Pete, but she was nervous. She was afraid that she had ruined any chance there might have been of sharing a future with Jack and that telling him she was free wouldn't change anything between them because he no longer cared for her in that way. But if he did still care for her it wasn't fair to let him continue to think she was going to marry Pete. So after they had stowed their gear and settled in for the three-day trip to rendezvous with the Asgard ship the 'Urlic', she sought out her former CO.
She stood outside his quarter's door working up the courage to knock when suddenly the door opened and surprised her enough that she took a giant step backwards off balance and landed less than gracefully on her butt. She sat for a moment with her eyes closed cursing her newfound clumsiness. Maybe she should take this as a sign and just forget about talking to the man.
Then Jack was at her side helping her up. "Sorry, Carter. I didn't know you were outside the door. You need to make some noise or something," he told her.
"I'll remember that for next time, Sir," she commented standing and dusting off her rear-end.
"Can't we finally drop the Sir, Carter?" Jack asked with a sigh.
"I'll try, but it's a pretty well ingrained habit," she admitted. "You still call me Carter."
"Point taken. I'll work on it," he offered. "So did you want something?" he asked just now remembering that she had been outside his door.
"I wanted to talk to you about something, but if you were headed off to see Thor it can wait," she said looking for an excuse to postpone the conversation.
"Nah, I was just going to walk around and explore this ship. I didn't get a chance to the last time I was here," he explained.
"Would you mind some company?" Sam asked. "Although I'll warn you in advance you are going to probably going to have to keep me from walking into walls," she admitted.
Jack gallantly held out his right arm and offered it to her. "Hang on tight and I promise not to let you trip over anything," he offered.
"Thanks," Sam replied with a grin as she looped her left arm through Jack's and fell into step close by his side.
They walked for several minutes in companionable silence, while Sam thought about how best to bring up the subject. Finally she just blurted it out.
"I wanted you to know that I broke up with Pete," she told him, and then cursed the fact that he was on her left side and she couldn't gauge his reaction.
"I'm sorry to hear that," he replied noncommittally.
"Yeah, well it wasn't working out. I knew it would be hard to keep up a relationship having to keep secrets, and I was prepared for that. But ever since I was injured I've begun to face up to the fact that the reason it was hard was because we wanted different things. I don't know, maybe if I'd really loved him I would have been willing to compromise more," she admitted.
"Carter, you were going through a tough time. Did you stop to think that maybe you just needed time to adjust?" Jack asked, although personally he was thinking that if he'd been in Pete's place he would have gladly given into whatever Sam wanted. He'd always suspected that if by some miracle the two of them ever got together he would be totally whipped. Strangely that thought didn't bother him in the least.
"Of course I did. The problem was, Pete wanted to move forward, get married and buy a house. The thought of all that change scared the crap out of me. Funny how that works. I can stand up to a Goa'uld aiming a ribbon device at me and not back down. Ask me to make a major life change and I just want to curl up in a ball and hope it will all go away. McKenzie would have a field day with it all," Sam confessed.
"You know, ol' Pete's probably kicking himself right about now. I bet we get back and he's singing a different tune," Jack suggested.
Without knowing how he still felt about her Sam wasn't quite ready to admit that this whole crisis had made her realize she'd been about make a huge mistake because she had been lonely. But she could at least give him a hint of how she felt.
"Maybe, but I don't think I will be. Oddly enough I think it took being blind to open my eyes to a lot of things," Sam said.
Jack wasn't sure what to say to that. He'd thought he had his feelings well under control. He would never be able to say he was happy Sam was with someone else, but he'd made his peace with it. Now his foolish old heart was filled with hope once again. He reminded himself that Sam was way too vulnerable right now and vowed that he wouldn't do anything stupid that would cause him heartache when she was stronger later and no longer needed to lean on him.
He'd spent over seven years being just her friend, and just her friend he would remain until he was sure she was back on solid ground.
It was a resolution that would be sorely tested over the course of the next few weeks.
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Jack had brought his Gameboy and several games along to keep himself busy during the long trip and Sam's recovery. Luckily Sam had come a lot more prepared than that. The General's attention span was about that of a seven-year-old, and so after a couple of hours that first afternoon when he started to get grouchy she pulled out the first of many distractions.
She had brought a chessboard and put that to use now while her sight was still good enough to play. Once Thor's buddies did their thing there would be at least a week before she would be able to enjoy the game again. She had also brought several other board games, including Battleship, which was a team favorite. Braille playing cards would be able to be used the entire trip. Crossword puzzles were stored away for Colonel to work on while she recovered, and for herself she had several books on tape.
She pulled out the real surprises after dinner. Thor had beamed several larger items (along with food supplies) up for her and after dinner Jack was thrilled to find a TV with DVD and VCR set up along with a microwave for making popcorn and other snacks. Both were hooked up to some funky Asgard generator that Thor had modified to Sam's specs to work with the Earth technology. Next to the TV was a box chock full of tapes and movies, including all of the available Simpson DVDs, the Monty Python movies and several of Jack's other favorites.
"Carter, this is great! This little vacation might just be more fun than fishing!" he exclaimed while going through the box.
"No problem, Sir," she smiled. "I figured if I left you to wander around the Asgard's ships without entertainment you would get bored. I didn't want you to break something and start an intergalactic war."
"Carter, you aren't going to call me Sir the entire time we are gone are you?" Jack whined. "It's not like I'm your CO anymore."
"I don't know. Depends," Sam teased.
"Alright, what is it going to take to get you to finally call me Jack?" he asked with a sigh.
"Stop calling me Carter," she demanded firmly the smile momentarily departing.
Jack felt like an idiot. Of course it bothered her to be called that now that she had been medically discharged. It probably reminded her of everything she had lost every time he opened his big mouth.
"I'm sorry. I promised I would work on that didn't I?" was his only response, but he was no longer teasing either.
"So what movie do you want to watch?" Sam queried deftly changing the subject.
"You pick," Jack offered. After all, in a few days she would be without her sight again while she recovered from the Asgard version of surgery.
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The next couple of days passed by quickly. When they weren't talking to Thor, they were kept well entertained with everything Sam had brought. They even got Thor to watch 'ET the Extraterrestrial' with them, something Sam had brought along just for the occasion. Their small gray friend was mesmerized and thoroughly enjoyed the story. He asked if he could join them again for another movie on the return journey.
"So what do you think, Ca.. Sam? What would Thor enjoy?" Jack asked as they walked back to their quarters that night.
"I don't know. I brought a variety, but we could always just go with 'Close Encounters'," she offered with a grin causing Jack to laugh at the thought.
As Jack said goodnight to her he was overwhelmed by the knowledge that he couldn't live without that smile and wicked sense of humor in his life. When things settled down he was definitely going to have to do something about this second chance he'd been given.
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The day they met up with the "Urlic" Sam was a bundle of nerves. She trusted the Asgard, but she couldn't help but worry about the outcome of this procedure. Realistically this would determine how well she would see for the rest of her life. Jack watched as she pushed her breakfast around on the plate.
"Come on Sam. I spent three whole minutes nuking those reconstituted eggs. They really are quite tasty," he coaxed.
It earned him a wan smile. "I appreciate the effort, Jack, really. I'm just not hungry," she admitted.
"You know at worst you will be able to see just as well as you can right now," he reminded her.
"I know. And even this much is such a relief," she agreed.
"But? There is definitely a 'but' hanging there," Jack pushed her to continue.
"I want to be able to work in the lab again," she admitted. And then as if the flood doors had opened she let it all out. "I want to be able to drive so I'm independent again. I want to at least have good enough vision that I might be able to go through the gate again, even if it's just on scientific missions," she admitted. "But mostly I just want it all to be decided one way or the other. Every time I just about get acclimated to my new condition it changes again. Once this is done then that will be it, and I can move on and put my life back together again knowing this will be as good as it gets."
She'd gotten up and started pacing as she spoke and now she stood with her back stooped, arms crossed in front of her facing away from him. He knew it was because she was on the verge of tears she didn't want him to see. He walked over to her and turned her around gathering her into a hug.
"It's ok, Sam. Do you know how incredibly brave and strong you have been over the course of this whole thing? Daniel keeps expecting you to crumble at any moment but Teal'c just proudly reminds him that you are one of the most courageous warriors he had ever known. High praise indeed," Jack told her as he held her tightly in his arms.
Despite the firm grip he had on her she leaned back slightly to look into his eyes. "And you, what do you think?" she wanted to know.
He paused, taking the time to push a stray hair away from her face to try to find the words. He really was terrible at expressing himself. He was more a man of action and his instinct was to grab her and kiss her until she was in no doubt of what he thought of her. But now was not the time. Now she needed a friend to lean on so he shut those feelings away and stammered out a reply.
"I've gotta go with Teal'c on this one. But I've got to wonder if Daniel doesn't have a point. It's probably a lot healthier for you to let out some of the anger and frustration," he counseled.
Sam had been watching his face carefully hoping to see a sign that he still cared for her 'more than he was supposed to'. But it was impossible to read anything in his closed-off expression. Regretfully she had to admit that they'd probably left it too long, and that her relationship with Pete had most likely put an end to any romantic feelings the General had ever had for her. Still, he was a good friend, and she knew she could count on him to be her rock over the course of the next several weeks.
Little did she realize how much she was going to need him.
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The first day was taken up with final test and exams that the Asgard scientists needed before they were ready to begin. They told Sam to get a good night's sleep. The procedure was scheduled for first thing in the morning.
At what her watch told her was 04:00 Earth time, she finally gave up any pretense of trying to sleep, threw on some clothes and wandered out into the corridor. She followed a path she remembered from several hours earlier and found herself in an area of the ship that opened up into a wider room with a wonderfully large window looking out into space. She slid down a wall and curled her knees into her chest as she sat mesmerized by the view.
Jack found her there several hours later, his internal body clock having woken him up despite the approximately five hour time difference between the 'days' on the 'Urlic' and those on Earth.
"Carter, you should be sleeping," he chastised.
"Sorry, Sir," she replied absently not even noticing that they had both slipped back into old habits.
Jack did though and corrected himself before replying. "So what's keeping you awake, Sam?"
Sam shrugged. "You know me. Thinking too much," she admitted.
"Ah, well then I guess I'm not overly concerned. The day you *stop* thinking, then I'll be worried," Jack told her with a smile. "Come on, let's go find out what you can eat and get some breakfast."
Jack kept her distracted until it the Asgard were ready for her. Then with a squeeze of her hand and a promise that he would be there when she woke up he handed her over to the alien scientists, for Sam's sake pretending a confidence he didn't feel. Thor must have sensed his disquiet because suddenly a thin gray hand grasped his arm and a familiar calm quiet voice was telling him that Sam was in good hands.
"I know Thor. I just can't help but worry. She's been through a lot lately. I just don't want anymore setbacks or disappointments for her sake," Jack confessed.
"The procedure is quiet safe, I assure you O'Neill," his friend repeated. "It will take about two of your hours and I have instructed Gwn to update us when it is complete. Samantha will be kept sedated for another six hours while the medical pod begins to heal the tissues. We will review the progress the tissue is making each day. She will probably need additional time in the pod tomorrow and possibly the day after. We will need to keep her eyes bandaged to keep out all light until the healing process is complete. Then she can begin to adjust her eyes to low levels of light," Thor explained.
Jack had heard it all before when they had walked Carter through the procedure, but it was comforting to go over it again. It all sounded so simple when Thor described it, but Jack O'Neill was a firm believer in Murphy's Law. He wouldn't rest easy until the bandages were off and Sam was bugging the Asgard to let her play with all of their cool toys.
As promised, almost two hours later one of the other Asgard, most likely Gwn although they all pretty much looked alike to O'Neill, found them and told them the procedure was complete.
"She should have normal vision from the right eye. Unfortunately we were unable to restore peripheral vision in the left eye, but she will be able to see perfectly well straight ahead," the scientist reported.
Jack was relieved. And disappointed at the same time. The lack of peripheral vision on one eye would probably be enough to keep Sam from going through the gate again, except possible on the safest of scientific mission. And he wasn't sure if she would get her driver's license back. But it meant that she would be mostly self-sufficient and certainly could resume her work in the lab.
Thor convinced him to get some sleep. Sam would be out for hours and he would want to be there when she woke up. Since he had woken up in what equated to the middle of the night here and spent hours talking to Sam, he didn't argue too strenuously. He really was exhausted.
After a nap and a meal he had to admit he felt much better. He hadn't realized how the worry and stress had been effecting him until now that Sam was on the road to recovery. Eventually he found his way to the medical bay, and since it lacked even the uncomfortable chairs usually found in the infirmary he slid down a wall and sat waiting for Sam to wake up.
The pod opened before she regained consciousness and Jack anxiously watched for the first signs of her stirring. With no vision he didn't want her to become disoriented. Several minutes later a slight change in her breathing signaled her awakening, and Jack moved to her side.
"Hey sleepy head. Time to wake up. You're on one of the Asgard's ships and they've just finished fixing your eyesight," he reminded her.
Sam was still floating pleasantly from whatever the Asgard had used to knock her out, but she heard him and understood what he was saying. Were her eyes fixed? She raised a shaky hand to the bandages.
"Gwen says its should be almost 100%. You'll just be missing some peripheral vision in the right eye," he told her sensing the question.
"Gwn," she corrected automatically. The hand that had been hovering around her bandaged eyes hesitated slightly then moved to find him.
Realizing that despite the procedure being success she was totally blind at the moment he reached out a hand and grabbed hers. "Thor said you could get up when you felt like it," he informed her. "I feel like it," she concurred, and he gently helped her out of the pod and steadied her as she found her feet. "Thanks. Can I get something to drink?" she asked.
"Sure, let's take a walk down to the rec room," Jack suggested, heading them to the small room in the same corridor as their quarters where Jack had set up all of their gear. There was bottled water and pop (both regular and diet) in a small fridge there, so he got Sam settled on the couch that they had brought he and got them both water. "You are supposed to take it easy for the rest of the day. So why don't you make yourself comfy and let me know what you want," Jack offered.
"Honestly, I'm still pretty groggy. Why don't you just put in a movie and I'll curl up and listen in," she suggested. "Then later we can eat and maybe I'll feel up to a card game."
He was slightly surprised when halfway through the movie Sam snuggled into his side with a sigh. After a minute he gave in to the temptation and wrapped an arm around her to pull her in close, and he turned back to the movie with unseeing eyes.
He still was resolved to give Sam space, but if nothing ever happened between them, and she went back to Pete when they got home, he knew he would remember this one perfect moment for a long time.
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Sam was disappointed the next morning to find that the comfortable closeness of the evening before had vanished. Overnight Jack had put back up a wall between them and without her sight to look into his eyes she didn't have a prayer of figuring out why. So she did the only thing she could and pulled back into her own shell to protect herself.
Jack noticed that she was quieter than normal while the Asgard checked her progress after breakfast, but didn't think too much of it. Gwn reported that as suspected the delicate tissue was healing, but that it would be beneficial for Sam to spend more time in the medical pod.
"No sense in you hanging around," she suggested to Jack. "Go watch a movie or something and come back to get me in time for lunch."
Feeling dismissed, he did just that. Later he would kick himself for leaving her alone, sure that if he'd been keeping watch he would have noticed that something was wrong long before the Asgard did.
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They didn't put Sam completely under this time, just sedated her so that she floated in a soft haze. Several times she hovered on the border of consciousness, and it was during these times that her mind became confused. She couldn't quite remember where she was, so her logical brain tried to kick in. Each time she got a little bit further in solving the puzzle.
It was dark. And quiet. She wasn't in any pain, quite the opposite, she couldn't really feel any of her body. The situation seemed so familiar. If she could just stay awake long enough……
And then the fog lifted slightly. And she knew what this was. The absence of any senses, the floating feeling, the total isolation. She was back in the mainframe that the entity had built, stuck there in that awful limbo until either someone figured it out, or destroyed the machinery that was acting as her life support. Frantically she began searching for a way to communicate. There should be an interface she remembered, but she couldn't find it. Her mind screamed out for help not knowing that she was vocalizing the scream. The simple words became a mantra.
I'm Here, I'M HERE, IMHERE, IMHEREIMHEREIMHEREIMHEREIMEHEREIMHERE
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Gwn had become concerned when his charge's heart rate had begun to increase. The healing cycle was complete and they were slowly bringing her back to consciousness when several of the monitors began to flash warnings. Within moments Samantha was exhibiting unusual behavior, and General O'Neill was instantly sent for.
Jack walked into a room that was total chaos. Several Asgard scientists were running around checking controls. The lid of the pod that Sam was in was opened, and inside Sam was laying chanting something.
"Would someone like to tell me what the heck is going on?" he bellowed causing all movement and sound including Sam's rant to cease.
The silence lasted only a moment as Sam once again called out, more urgently this time. For just a second she thought she'd heard the Colonel's voice. Maybe he could hear her too.
"I'M HERE COLONEL!" she screamed, shocking and confusing the General further.
"I know Sam, it's ok," he told her walking over to where she still lay in the pod.
Sam's mind was starting to clear and at the sound of Jack's voice she realized that there were other noises now audible around her. Some machine was beeping and in the background she could hear the quiet murmur of voices speaking a foreign language. Asgard?
"Where am I?" she asked and reached out as she realized she could now move her arms. When her hand collided with Jack she latched on, grabbing a handful of his t-shirt in a death grip.
"You are on an Asgard ship. Not one of the cool ones named for one of us. You had an accident three months ago that caused you to lose your vision. The Tok'ra got part of it back and some of Thor's buddies are trying to fix the rest," he explained, now really concerned.
But Sam was nodding. "I was having a nightmare. I was back in that damn mainframe the entity had built," she told him, tightening her grip on his shirt.
Jack felt her tremble and looked over to Gwn. "Can we get her out of this thing?" he demanded.
The request sent the Asgard into a flurry of activity and barely more than a minute later he was helping Sam to sit up and get out of the medical pod. Once she was upright he could feel her start to relax, although she squeezed his hand when he made as if he was going to let go. Tactile human contact was obviously still needed.
Gwn and one of the other Asgard were hovering obviously concerned at Sam's reaction. They tried to reassure Jack. "This has never happened before, General O'Neill. We do not understand what caused it but we will check the pod over carefully," Gwn told him.
"It wasn't the pod's fault, Gwn. Sam just had a bad reaction to being deprived of all of her senses at once. Maybe you should think about adding a sound system so you can pipe in some music," Jack suggested. When the Asgard still looked confused he added, "I'll explain later. For now I think Carter would like to get out of here and maybe get something to drink, what do you say Sam?" he offered.
"Yes, please," Sam nodded in relief.
He led her down to their little rec room and sat her down. Remembering how she had been after the Entity, needing light and noise and touching everything in sight, he put some soft music on the CD player while he went and made her some tea. By the time she had finished it he could tell she had calmed considerably.
"I'm sorry for the meltdown," she apologized.
"Don't be. I've been in those sensory depravation chambers before and even knowing where I was it took all of my willpower not to freak out. I can't imagine just waking up not knowing where you were, especially having been through it for real once before. I'm surprised you didn't tear the pod to pieces," he assured her.
She didn't admit that if he hadn't been there to bring her out of it she might have done just that.
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The rest of the day passed quietly. Jack made sure that Sam wasn't left alone for too long and that there was noise and activity around as much as possible. After lunch Thor stopped by to check on her. Having shared in the experience of having his consciousness trapped in a computer he was sympathetic and told her that if she needed to use the pod again there would indeed be a sound system and a communication device so people could talk to her while she was being treated.
Jack saw Sam visibly relax at that. He hadn't thought about the fact that she night need to go back in the pod the next day and that she'd be dreading it, so he thanked Thor for letting them know. Unfortunately, several hours later, the other thing he hadn't considered was about to bite him in the ass. It was getting very late, and even though he could tell Sam was tired she was insisting that they play another couple of hands of cards. It didn't take him long to realize she didn't want to go to her quarters and be alone.
After debating the issue silently for several minutes he finally made a decision. As dangerous as it would be to spend the night together he just couldn't abandon her to face the night alone. Now he just needed to figure out how to bring up the subject.
For her part Sam was trying to suck it up and face the thought of going to her quarters. She doubted Jack would want to sit up all night with her, and he certainly hadn't given her any indication over the past few days that he wanted to sleep with her (in any sense of the word). So she was knocked speechless when he looked up from his hand of cards and cleared his throat a bit nervously.
"Listen Sam, I'm getting tired, and there is no way I'm letting you go to your quarters alone tonight. So how about I take you back and you get changed for bed and let me know when you are decent and I'll come and sleep in with you. If you're not comfortable sharing a bed with me we'll have Thor's buddies move my bed into your room for the night," he suggested.
She was quiet for a moment and then nodded. "Alright," she agreed.
He breathed a sigh of relief. That hadn't been so bad. Then he realized something. "Aright I should have Thor move my bed?" he tried to clarify.
"No, I think we can manage in one bed. We've shared worse before," she commented.
So that was what they did. And as Jack slid into the bed that was barely big enough for the two of them he thought that he really should have had Thor move his bed in here for the night, because as true as it was that they had shared tighter more uncomfortable quarters before, he had always been her commanding officer at the time. Now with no regs between them he wondered if he could keep from embarrassing himself.
He took a deep breath to calm his nerves and was assaulted with the scent of Sam's shampoo.
Yeah, this night was going to be pure hell.
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By the time he woke up the next morning he had revised his opinion. After a restless beginning to the night where neither of them had been able to get comfortable, Jack had finally fallen into a deep dreamless sleep. Now upon waking from the best rest he'd had in months he found that the reason was wrapped securely in his arms, spooned with her back to him. Her breathing was even and shallow so he didn't dare to move from the intimate position for fear of waking her. Finally he surrendered and allowed himself to relax and enjoy the few minutes he would have to hold her before she too awoke.
In reality Sam had been awake for several minutes already and was faking being asleep so that she could stay just where she was for a few more minutes. She was desperately trying to memorize every detail of this moment, unsure if she would ever get an opportunity like this again. She knew the instant he woke up, but she remained quiet. When he finally was unable to stay still any longer, and he eased himself out of the bed from behind her she almost cried out at the loss.
Breakfast was a quiet affair and Sam had never wished for her eyesight more fervently since losing it. Without being able to *see* him she had no clue what he was thinking. Had waking up with her in his arms affected him at all? Her only consolation was that he couldn't see her eyes either. She was sure they would be a dead give- away for her love and desire for him, and if he no longer felt the same it would be extremely embarrassing.
Jack took her silence for nerves, and hoped that she didn't have to spend any more time shut in that damn pod today. When they reached the medical bay, Gwn began his tests and Jack pulled Thor aside
"Listen, if she needs to be shut in that thing today we will be able to communicate with her, right?" he demanded.
"It has already been taken care of O'Neill," Thor assured him.
"Thanks," Jack replied and then wandered over to see how the patient was doing.
He could tell by her smile that the news was good. Gwn reported the corneas were healing nicely and that in another day or two they would be able to remove the bandages and let her eyes start to adjust to light again. She wouldn't need any further time in the pod.
"Colonel Carter has amazing healing powers," he commented to Jack as they observed while one of the other Asgards marked down all of Sam's vitals and made notes on her progress.
"What do you mean?" Jack frowned.
"The protein marker left behind by the Tok'ra aids in the healing. It's not as good as having a symbiote but it is certainly an improvement over normal Tauri anatomy," Gwn explained.
"Does Carter know this?" Jack asked astounded by the news.
"She said that she and Dr. Fraiser had suspected as much but had never been able to prove it," Gwn told him. "It would never have been enough for her to recover from a life threatening injury on her own, but once she has medical help, her body should be able to assist as well." Gwn paused here, and then decided that he might as well tell the Tauri General the rest. "Colonel Carter also said that they were unable to determine the effect the marker and the naquada in her system would have on her abilities to conceive and bear children. I have assured her that there should be no problems."
He hadn't known it was ever an issue but then it would have fallen into the area of topics she discussed with Janet, not her team. As much as Sam was one of the guys there were certain things that the three men never mentioned. Like the extra chocolate that appeared in Sam's pack once a month or the times she disappeared from the campsite off-world for longer than normal. Or just exactly how all of the events of the last eight years had affected her body. He wondered how many times she had dealt with the aftermath of injuries alone in silence and was glad that at least now she had one less thing to worry about.
With all of the good news they both cast off the retrospective mood of the morning and decided to celebrate. Jack went through their supplies and planned a festive dinner. Sam went through the CD's (which Daniel had thoughtfully labeled in Braille for her when she originally went blind) and picked out some cheery music. Afterward they played cards making ridiculous bets. In the end Sam theoretically owned the cabin in Minnesota, Jack's entire collection of Simpson tapes and his next three paychecks.
"Don't worry, Jack. I'll let you win them back later," Sam grinned as they put the cards away.
"Let me win?" Jack demanded. "I was just having an off night Sam. By the end of the week I'll have won back all of that and a promise from you to come to Minnesota with me."
He almost kicked himself as he said the last part. Damn he hadn't meant to let on he still wanted to take her to the cabin, especially since he was pretty sure she knew he didn't have fishing on his mind when he asked her.
Sam could tell from the sudden silence that he was regretting bring up the cabin, but her heart did a little flip anyway. Maybe there was still hope.
"You mean you'll invite yourself to *my* cabin," she joked to break the tension.
"Don't get cocky, Sam" Jack warned, then paused as he finished up putting everything away for the night.
She knew instantly what he was worried about even without seeing him. "I think I'll be ok alone tonight, Jack. Thanks," she commented, while desperately wanting to lie and tell him that she was still feeling shaky and needed him to sleep with her again.
Although it wouldn't really be a lie. She did need it. Almost as much as she needed the air to breathe.
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She couldn't sleep of course so eventually she felt her way quietly through the corridors to the room that Jack had discovered her in two nights ago. She slid down the wall and took up a similar position with her knees drawn in. This time it was Gwn who found her.
"Dr. Carter. Should you not be sleeping?" he asked politely.
"I wasn't tired Gwn, and please call me Sam, or Samantha," Sam replied.
"Perhaps you should take something to aid you," he suggested.
"No, I just needed a place where I could see the stars," Sam said, then sensing his confusion she added, "Figuratively speaking."
"I'm glad to have a chance to talk to you. I wanted to apologize for the incident in the medical pod yesterday," Gwn told her.
"You couldn't have known, Gwn. It wasn't your fault," Sam assured him.
"Still I should have noticed the increased respiration and heart rate sooner," he apologized.
"There was no harm done," she relied.
"And yet you are unable to sleep," Gwn worried.
"Oh, that really doesn't have anything to do with my panic attack," Sam mused. "I just have a lot to think about now that I'll be putting my life back together one final time," Sam confessed.
"Yes, and that is another thing that we wish to apologize for. The defense system on Yetola was obviously set at too high a setting. It has been adjusted," Gwn informed her.
"That's good, although it was a stupid accident really. What were the odds that I would be in the perfect position to get zapped in the face just as the second volley went off," Sam postulated.
"It was unfortunate timing," Gwn agreed.
"I do want to thank you for your help. With any luck now I should be able to see well enough to at least work in the lab," Sam gratefully told him.
"It was our honor. We value your friendship and assistance. It would have been tragic for us as well to have you incapacitated," the tiny alien admitted.
Sam blushed slightly at the compliment, then before she could think of a reply a small yawn escaped.
"I believe you might be ready to rest now. May I escort you to your quarters?" Gwn asked.
"Thank you Gwn," Sam agreed getting to her feet and reaching out a hand.
In a moment she felt a cool, fragile hand placed within hers, and they walked in silence to her quarters. Once there she surprised the Asgard by leaning down and kissing him on the top of his head.
"Goodnight Gwn," she said before slipping inside.
"Goodnight Samantha," Gwn replied.
And then one totally besotted Asgard headed off into the bowels of the giant ship.
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Sam and Jack spent the next few days in pleasant companionship. Mostly they sat in comfortable silence as Sam read and Jack played his GameBoy or watched one of the DVD's Sam had brought for him. They spent more social time together playing cards and working together to come up with creative meals using their limited supplies. They walked the halls of the great ship for exercise as well as doing some light workouts each morning.
On the fifth day after Sam's procedure it was determined that the bandages could come off her eyes. She sat in an almost dark room as they undid them and held onto Jack's hand with a grip that told of her anxiety. After a moment of blinking in the dark, a light came on at the far end of the room, and Sam was given the Asgard version of an eye test. The results were encouraging. Sam could see clearly out of both eyes with two exceptions. There was a minor loss of peripheral vision out of the left eye, but it wasn't as bad as she had feared. The larger problem was a definite flaring and halloing of lights when it was dark. The Asgard assured her that this was simply a result of the cornea transplants not being totally healed and that the effect would diminish over time. The bad news was that it would probably take months to go away completely.
Despite this unexpected setback, Sam left the medical bay sporting a pair of dark sunglasses and a smile that Jack hadn't seen since before this whole crisis had begun. He couldn't help but grin at her in return.
"Well I think this calls for a celebration," he commented.
"What did you have in mind?" Sam asked turning to study him. She loved that she could see his face again, even if it was a bit shadowed from the glasses.
"Well, I had some special supplies loaded when we left. Thor has been nice enough to keep them appropriately stored. So how about a nice NY Strip steak and baked potato dinner. There are veggies too, but they are frozen, cause I wasn't sure how fresh ones would hold up. And there's champagne and a surprise for dessert," he told her.
Sam stopped in her tracks. "You arraigned all of that?" she asked with a lump in her throat.
"Yeah, well I figured we would both be ready for a nice meal by now," Jack quipped, unable to meet her eyes as he downplayed the fact that he'd done anything special for her.
"Thank you," she grinned. Now that she could see him again she found it much easier to read between the lines of what he said.
And she was beginning to have a glimmer of hope that maybe she hadn't totally ruined any chance of a real relationship between them.
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Over the next few days she tested that theory. Using the advantage that the dark glasses she was wearing gave her, she immersed herself in an advanced class in Jack O'Neill. She studied him when they were playing card, eating, or watching a movie for any sign of his true feelings for her. And by the end of the third day she found she could predict the patterns perfectly.
There were basically two. One she called 'Hitting Jack's Brick Wall'. The way it worked was that the two of them would be laughing and joking around and just when she thought that maybe she was breaking through to him she saw the wall get thrown up. It happened regularly over the course of the three days, often enough that she honestly felt like she was suffering from whiplash.
It left her feeling lost and slightly less hopeful each time it happened.
The second pattern that she saw qualified as the 'up' part of the emotional ride. At least twice a day she would catch Jack staring at her with a look in his eyes that made her heart practically leap out of her chest. If she were careful not to give any indication that she noticed it sometimes the look would last a full minute. It was like a man dying of thirst who had just spotted the oasis. Eventually he would look away, and she would see him shake his head as if to clear it. A moment later it would be as if nothing had occurred.
By the time Gwn gave her the all clear and they were packed up and ready to fly home on the 'Daniel Jackson', Sam was frustrated at being on the seesaw. Although she was still hopeful, she really was no closer to knowing for sure how Jack felt about her beyond being a good friend.
But she definitely knew how she felt about him. This time there was no denying it. She was head over heals in love with the man.
And there was nothing standing in her way except her own fear of rejection.
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Jack had been right about one thing, Sam thought with a scowl as she looked at the man in front of her. By the time they returned home Pete was there waiting with his tail tucked between his legs, ready to do whatever it took to salvage their relationship. Trouble was Sam didn't want to attempt to rekindle what she had finally come to realize was her attempt at getting over Jack O'Neill.
She knew now that she had no desire to 'get over' Jack O'Neill.
So she let Pete down as gently as she could and still managed to get across the message that they were over. She felt guilty and a bit sad for a couple of days, and then picked herself up, and moved on with her life.
The first thing she did was go to the Academy and work out a schedule with General Kerrigan. She would be lecturing two days a week, two classes each day. She was quite excited and spent the entire next two days mapping out her curriculum. By the end of her first week back on Earth, she was down to wearing sunglasses only outdoors during the day, so she went to the Department of Motor Vehicles to see about getting a driver's license. As she suspected the light flares were a problem and she was issued a license limited to daylight hours only. Hopefully when the condition improved she could get a regular license issued.
During the week she kept in close touch with Daniel and Teal'c, and both explained that Jack was swamped with issues that had arisen while he was gone. They kept asking when she was coming back. At first she was able to hold them off by explaining that she had to wait for an official job offer, as she was no longer in the military. A contract hiring her as a civilian contractor would need to be ironed out.
Of course that came quickly. The Pentagon had no intention of letting their Stargate expert get away. The offer was generous, but Sam had some problems with it. First of all it was for a full time position and she wanted to allow for time to lecture. Also, with a limited driver's license she was going to have to either leave the mountain early every day, stay on base a lot, or rely on an airman to drive her back and forth all of the time. None of those options appealed to her.
She would just have to work on the idea that *did* appeal to her, and the USAF could wait. Because if she was going back to the SGC she would want a permanent chauffeur, and at the moment he seemed to be avoiding her.
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Jack wasn't exactly avoiding Sam, but he was glad to have the excuse of work to keep him too busy to spend any time with her for a week or so. He wanted to give her an opportunity to settle back into her life on her own. Still, he couldn't help but be thrilled when Daniel told him that Pete had been given his walking papers. Nor could he help starting to think about asking a certain scientist out. However in true Jack O'Neill style he even avoided that and instead started planning a gathering where he could be with Sam in a social setting without risking rejection.
Daniel was the first one to let something slip to Sam about Jack organizing a party to celebrate her miraculous recovery. Sam had smiled a bit too brightly at the idea and Daniel had wanted to know what she was up to.
"Nothing. Why?" Sam asked.
"You have that look in your eyes," Daniel commented.
"What look would that be, Dr. Jackson?" she inquired.
"The one you and Jack get just before one of you tells us the wild- assed plan you have for escaping," Daniel explained.
"Don't be ridiculous, Daniel," she assured him in her most innocent voice.
Still Daniel warned Teal'c that something was up, and on the night of the party the two were on guard. Neither was prepared for what Samantha Carter had planned.
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She took a taxi to the General's house. Besides not being able to drive home after dark anyway, it would allow her to get roaring drunk if her plan failed. Still, if the once over the taxi driver gave her when she opened her front door was any indication, she should have one Brigadier General eating out of the palm of her hand by the end of the evening.
For the first time in a good twenty years, Sam Carter was dressed in an outfit that would have scandalized her father. Even when she had been dating Pete she had only ever let her hair down so far, ever mindful that she needed to keep to a certain image as an officer in the USAF. Now however, she had no such restraint, and she'd gone shopping with the express purpose of finding an outfit to make jaws drop and eyebrows raise (depending on the gender and age of the observer).
The skirt was black, slim and very short. The amount of legs displayed between the black strappy shoes with the three-inch heels and the hem of the skirt was enough on it's own to make any grown man fall to his knees and beg for mercy. When paired with a raspberry top that clung in all the right places and showed a fair amount of cleavage (Yes cleavage - It was amazing what a non-sports bra could do!), a new stylish haircut with blond highlights and just the enough make-up to make her blue eyes stand out, she was every mother's worst nightmare. She was the woman that would steal their sons' hearts without lifting a finger.
Of course there was only one heart she was after that night, and she knew that it was well protected and wouldn't go down without a fight, since she had hurt it so badly in the recent past. That was why she was prepared for battle. All was fair tonight. It's not like she could be court marshaled for her actions. Just embarrassed to death.
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Teal'c had been busy answering the door for the past 15 minutes as SGC personnel had been arriving in a steady stream, so when he opened the door to see the blond standing there he at first didn't realize who it was. When recognition hit him he literally sucked in a lung full of air and let it out in an almost whistle.
"Samantha," he welcomed, automatically addressing her as she appeared tonight, not as a colleague or friend but as a beautiful woman.
As his eyes appreciatively slid from head to toe his eyebrow raised to an impossible new height. "I believe this is a new look for you," he commented with a grin. "You look stunning," he assured her once again looking her in the eye.
Sam blushed lightly. She couldn't fault him for his reaction, after all that was what she'd been going for. She just hadn't expected it from Teal'c.
"Thank you Teal'c," she acknowledged with a nervous smile, reaching up to give a brief hug.
As he stepped back to let her in, she saw Daniel approaching. As she moved towards her friend to greet him she saw his eyes open in shock.
"Sam?" he choked out.
She moved in to give him a hug before he could recover.
"Hey Daniel," she grinned as she stepped back and used one finger to snap his jaw shut.
"Is that Carter?" Jack yelled from the kitchen where he was getting drinks organized.
Sam raised a finger to her lips and quickly took the couple of steps to the kitchen doorway.
"What have I told you about calling me Carter, Jack," she scolded.
"Sorry, Sam," he apologized with his head still in the freezer pulling out a bad of ice. As he turned he realized that everyone in the room with him had gotten very quiet and he looked over to the doorway. Suddenly the bag of ice in his hands hit the counter with a bang and he looked down at it in surprise. Then with a shake of his head he raised his eyes to the vision standing in the doorway.
Holy Mary Mother of God.
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A half an hour later Jack was wondering if it would be bad manners to slip away from his guests and go take a cold shower. For the last thirty minutes the guest of honor had been steaming up every room of the house. It's not that she was being flirty or outrageous. Quite the opposite. She'd talked science with the science geeks and battle strategy with the Marines. However throughout it all there hadn't been a male in the house that hadn't been mesmerized. Including Jack.
The few women present started out confused. But it became clear to them soon after Sam arrived that the woman was on a mission, and their confusion turned to amusement as they watched Jack's reaction. Eventually they congregated in one corner of the family room to watch the show. As the evening wore on they were joined by Major Griff and Colonel Reynolds, Daniel and Teal'c. Soon bets were made. They started out fairly modest. How many more minutes would Jack hold out? How long before Sam lured him away from the party out onto the deck? As the drinks flowed though they began into the more risqué bets with Daniel laying odds that Jack was going to take Sam right there in front of the fireplace while they watched. (He was promptly cut off from further alcohol consumption)
Across the room Jack was starting to have fantasies about doing just that very thing. Good lord would these people never leave? If he didn't get Sam to himself soon he was going to explode. Five minutes later he saw his chance when the lady in question slipped out on the deck for some fresh air. As he followed, he missed the groan that rose from the family room as everyone began paying off Captain Laura Philips.
"Having a good time?" Jack asked.
Sam turned towards him and flashed him one of her brilliant smiles causing his breath to catch.
"Yes, Jack. Thank you. It's wonderful to catch up on everything that's been going on in the past two months," she told him, all the while studying him carefully. She almost broke out laughing at what she saw.
The man looked positively shell-shocked. She wasn't about to back down now though. So she took a step closer to him and reached out with one hand to lay it on his arm.
"I never got to thank you for being there with me up with the Asgard. I never would have made it through that without you," she told him sincerely.
"No problem. That's what friends are for," Jack told her forcing himself to not take a step towards her.
Sam looked sad for a moment then looked him in the eyes. "Is that all we are? Just friends?"
Jack cleared his throat nervously. Was Sam coming on to him? A voice in his head screamed at him to just kiss the woman, while another desperately reminded him of Pete and the pain that her moving on had caused.
"Best friends?" he suggested.
Sam shook her head in the negative.
Jack took a deep breath. So this was it. She was making it perfectly clear she wanted more. The ball was in his court. He could feel his carefully constructed walls beginning to crumble.
"Best friends who would like to be more?" he tried again, his voice now taking on husky tone. He saw her eyes darken in response.
"You're getting warmer," Sam nodded taking another step towards him.
He looked into those blue eyes and was totally lost. How could he possibly hold his heart in check when everything he'd wanted for the last seven plus years was waiting right in front of him looking slightly anxious.
He swayed forward so that their lips were just a hair's width apart.
"Two idiots who are both too scared to admit they love each other?" he whispered, his lips brushing hers.
"There you go," she approved and he felt her lips touch his in response.
Then there were no more words. He pulled her firmly into his arms, and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.
From inside the house a cheer went up and money once again began to change hands.
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When they parted they looked over to see people peering out of every window at them. Sam hid her face in Jack's shoulder, chuckling.
"Glad we could provide the entertainment," Jack grumbled, and Sam just reached up to kiss him again, making him forget why he was upset.
"They are all our friends Jack. They just want us to be happy," she reminded him.
"If they are really our friends they will all have disappeared by the time we get back inside," he suggested before capturing her lips again in another searing kiss.
Five minutes later when they finally made their way back into the house several groups *were* getting ready to leave and had only waited so they could say their goodbyes and offer up a well intentioned ribbing to the couple. Soon it was just the original four members of SG1 left, and Jack and Sam were immediately wrapped in warm embraces.
"Well it's about time you two got your act together. We were beginning to wonder of we were going to have to lock you in a room together. We thought for sure you would see sense while you were off with the Asgard," Daniel told them.
Jack shrugged. "She had enough to deal with, I didn't want to rush her into anything," he explained.
"As many of your Earth stories point out, `All is well that ends well'," Teal'c commented. "And hopefully all will now be well for the two of you."
"Thanks, T," Jack acknowledged.
When they has finished clearing up Daniel offered to drive Sam home, but Jack told him he would do it. It took a minute but eventually their friend figured out that Sam wasn't going anywhere that night.
"Oh, um, ok," he stammered.
"Daniel Jackson, I believe it is time for us to take our leave," Teal'c said with a rare grin, enjoying both Daniel's discomfort and Sam's blushing.
And then there were two.
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There was a moment of awkward silence, and then Sam brought up what Jack had admitted to a few minutes earlier.
"Is that what the problem was? You thought I needed time?" Sam asked in dismay. "I thought I'd hurt you too badly and you couldn't forgive me."
"I just wanted to make sure you knew what you wanted and you didn't make your decision based on your needs of the moment," Jack told her.
"You are such a fool Jack O'Neill. I had begun to realize that I'd made a mistake before the whole blindness thing, but once I couldn't see, well, it's amazing how things can be a lot clearer when you are suddenly thrown into a crisis. Whenever I was scared or feeling lost, it was you who I wanted there to hold onto. You were the rock I clung to in the darkness, Jack. And as I started to regain my vision, it became clear to me that you were the only one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I just had to figure out if you still felt anything for me, and you were not giving me any clues," she explained.
"So you came up with this rather unique method of figuring that out," Jack smirked letting his eyes roam over the sexy figure in front of him.
"Do you like the outfit?" Sam asked turning around so he could get the full effect.
With a groan Jack admitted, "Sam there wasn't a male here tonight that didn't love that outfit."
Sam grinned. "Teal'c actually ogled me!"
"T' has good taste in woman," Jack informed her.
"Well you haven't seen the best part of the outfit," Sam told him, walking up to him and leaning her warm body up against his.
"There's more?" Jack moaned, taking her in his arms.
"There's less," Sam corrected before conversation was cut off by their lips meeting.
A few heated moments later, Jack's hand had wandered under her skirt and discovered a small scrap of lacy material.
He leaned back to take a breath and couldn't help muttering hopefully, "I don't suppose they're black?"
"If we adjourn to the bedroom, I'm sure we could arrange for you to find out," Sam suggested huskily.
So they did.
And they were.
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Sam awoke the next morning slightly disoriented. Then the evening's events rushed back and she wiggled under the covers in contentment. At her movement an arm came out to capture her and pull her hard against the body next to her in the strange bed.
"Hope you're not planning on going anywhere," Jack mumbled into her neck as he kissed it.
"Not in this lifetime," she sighed as she turned to face him.
"I like that plan," he said giving her a kiss. Then he groaned. "You know that this is going to be all over the SGC by tomorrow morning, don't you?" he asked.
"Of course. Besides everyone seeing that kiss I doubt that Daniel will be able to keep quiet about the fact that you didn't let him drive me home last night," Sam replied.
"I told him I would drive you home," Jack protested.
"He didn't believe you, Jack. Come on, it won't be so bad. We put up with false rumors for years. Now at least it will the truth," she pointed out.
"You don't have to worry, you won't be there. Which brings up a good point. When did you tell the Pentagon you would start back to work?" he asked.
"I didn't," she confessed causing his hands and lips to cease their wandering instantly.
"Why not? You *are* coming back to the SGC, aren't you?" he asked suddenly panicked.
"I think so, I'm just not in any hurry," she admitted.
Jack sat up pulling her into a sitting position with him and looked her in the eyes.
"Sam, what's up?" he asked.
She blushed. "Honestly? Well first of all, if last night's little stunt had fallen flat I probably would never have come back," she admitted. "I couldn't imagine seeing you every day knowing you didn't feel anything other than friendship for me anymore. I know it would have been my fault for giving up on us in the first place, but I still couldn't have handled it," she explained.
"Well your 'little stunt' worked very well, so what's the other concern?" he asked. When she raised an eyebrow he pointed out "You said first of all… that implies a second of all."
"Very observant," she murmured. "I don't know how I'm going to get back and forth," she told him. "I can't drive after dark."
It was a tough confession to make. Sam was an independent person, and she hated admitting that she was not able to even commute to work on her own.
"We can work around that," Jack protested.
"How? And before you say anything I want you to imagine yourself doing whatever you are going to suggest," she challenged.
He opened his mouth to speak a couple of times but quickly shut it. She knew he was going to bring up some of the options she had already thought of and discarded. Then a smile lit up his face and he turned to her in triumph.
"Guess you'll just have to move in with me and carpool," he stated confidently.
Bingo. Whoa… wait a minute!
The best she'd been hoping for was dating and perhaps sleeping over occasionally allowing for them drive together.
She looked at him in surprise. "You want me to move in with you?"
His eyes narrowed slightly as he studied her.
Oops. She'd forgotten how hard it was to put one over on Jack.
"That *was* your plan, wasn't it?" he accused.
Sam paused, then nodded. She caught his hands so they wouldn't distract her and looked at him with big wide serious eyes. "Eventually, but I figured we would work our way up to it. We still can," she said giving him an out.
"It's taken us way too long to get to this point, Sam. And while I don't want to screw it up by moving too fast, I really don't see any need for us to go through unnecessary hoops to get to where we want to be. We aren't getting any younger," he reminded her.
"So you *really* want me to move in?" she asked.
He flipped her quickly so that he was hovering over her and as his lips descended to capture hers he grinned. "I may never let you leave long enough to pack," he threatened. "But what about you, you're the one who has problems with major life changes," he pointed out.
She had said that, hadn't she? And it had been true in the past. But none of those changes in her personal life had ever felt so right or so exciting. With a grin she took the final step out of the darkness and into a new life.
"Just promise you'll be there to hold my hand and I think I'll do just fine," she told him.
"I can do better than hand holding," he assured her.
And then he set about showing her just how much better he could do.
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The End
Story Notes: Email: jackiesfic@aol.com
Classification: SJ UST/Romance
Season: Season 8
Spoilers: The Entity, Chimera, Affinity, and small ones up through season 8 mid-season
Archive: SJD, yes. Anyone else, please just ask.
Author's Notes: Wow! What a ride this had been. I started it in the spring, then summer came and Muse refused to work on anything with any angst. So it got put aside, and morphed into a longer piece when we weren't looking! Now only the opening couple of paragraphs look anything like the original. Hopefully it's worth the wait!
Classification: SJ UST/Romance
Season: Season 8
Spoilers: The Entity, Chimera, Affinity, and small ones up through season 8 mid-season
Archive: SJD, yes. Anyone else, please just ask.
Author's Notes: Wow! What a ride this had been. I started it in the spring, then summer came and Muse refused to work on anything with any angst. So it got put aside, and morphed into a longer piece when we weren't looking! Now only the opening couple of paragraphs look anything like the original. Hopefully it's worth the wait!
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]