Denial
He wasn't expecting her but here she was, in his office, unannounced and waiting for him to say something.
"Carter."
"Carter," she repeated, and he knew it wasn't good.
He tried to think of something else to say, something that would convey his happiness at seeing her since his departure for Washington, but nothing that ran through his head could match the electricity racing through his veins.
She broke the silence. "Mind if I sit down, sir?"
He blinked. "Um, sure." As he resumed his seat behind the desk, he managed to catch a glimpse of her bare calves as she crossed her legs. Not that he really tried to look…his eyes just naturally wandered to any exposed Carter flesh. Always sexy in her dress blues, and he had to shift his hips to relieve the pressure.
"So," he began the pleasantries. "What brings you to Washington?"
She cleared her throat and avoided his eyes. "Meetings, mainly."
"Weren't those over yesterday?"
"Actually, yes. Wait a minute...you knew? You knew I was here?"
"Yes."
"So I spent the last half hour or so working up the nerve to come in here and say hi to you, and you already knew I was in Washington?"
"Why do you have to do that?"
"Do what?"
"Get up the nerve to talk to me?"
"Well, let's see...when you left I waited to hear from you, to know if you settled in okay, but nothing. I had to hear from General Hammond that you had arrived safely. After that, I tried to call you, but the times that I somehow did get through I ended up talking to your assistant because you were away at some important meeting somewhere."
"You called?" His heart skipped several beats. She called and he never knew? Lt. Miller was *so* dead.
"Yes," she responded. "I left three or four messages, I can't remember exactly how many, but when I never received a call back I just figured that you needed a break from me." She lowered her head so he couldn't see her face. "You needed a break from us."
"No, I've never needed a break from you. Where did you ever get that idea?" He paused for a moment then continued, "Besides, if I needed a break from anyone it'd be Daniel, that ungrateful dirt pusher. At least Teal'c has the common decency to bring snacks even if he does eat them all."
"Hell with it." She stood up. "I knew I couldn't talk to you about this." She started walking towards the door, and just as her hand touched the door knob she turned around. "Okay, I'm putting myself on the line here. I have to because I don't feel I have any avenue left to finally get out what I've been trying to tell you for the past year. I thought when you left Colorado and accepted the job here we could, you know…"
"What?"
"Start.." Her voice broke and she didn't continue.
"Start what?" His hands were clenched together in frustration now. Was this always going to be this way between them? He really hoped not.
"Forget it. I'm just going to go back to my hotel now. I'll see you later." And with that she opened the door and walked out into the hallway, past several high ranking officials. He looked past them and into the hallway as they entered his office. Even as they started to debrief him Jack could hear the rapid clicking of Sam's heels for a long time as they eventually faded into silence. Looking back down at his desk he saw her cell phone sitting there mocking him.
It was almost 2000 hours and he had just gotten home. There was only one message on his answering machine and he knew without listening to it just who had left it. He pressed the play button and went to grab a beer from the fridge.
Her familiar voice filled the room. "Hi, it's me…Sam. Like you didn't know who this was. Um, I'm sorry about taking off like that but I didn't want to stay around with you looking at me like I was insane. Listen, I'm leaving on the first hop I can find and just wanted to let you know. I'll see you whenever you come to Colorado. I'll make sure to say hi to Daniel and Murray for you. Goodnight, sir."
He put the beer down and replayed the message. He was amazed that she had said all that in one breath, but he was also worried. She was leaving? Tonight? Damn it! He started to panic and grabbed the yellow pages and flipped to the Hotels section.
He was so frickin' stupid. Oh, fuck! She never said which hotel she was staying at. Okay, he reasoned, start at the A's and go from there.
Half an hour and many hotel clerks later, he finally located where she was staying. He vaguely hoped the poor front office person would forgive him for slamming the phone in her ear once she confirmed Carter was there.
He got there in record time and fully believed that explaining to a police officer that it was a matter of National Security as to why he was going so fast was not in the least bit wrong. Getting out of the car he realized his next problem…he had no clue which room she was in. He just shook his head and looked up to see which rooms had lights on. When he did find her, and if everything went right, he would kiss her silly for choosing a mid-sized hotel and not one of those humongous chains.
Going to the first one, he knocked was greeted by an older man in his boxer shorts and undershirt. *So* not a sight he wanted to see. Apologizing and moving on, by the tenth room he was almost afraid of what, or who, would be behind the next door.
He almost couldn't believe his eyes when the very person he was looking for opened the next door. She dressed in a top that may have been light blue but his gaze couldn't get past the image of spaghetti straps on creamy skin. The phone nearly slipped from his fingers as he just stood there.
"Sir!" she breathed "What are you doing here? And how did you find me?"
He needed to catch his breath before he spoke. "How quickly you forget my training, Doctor. And besides, you left your cell phone on my desk."
Her eyes narrowed, and she stepped back to allow him entry, grabbing her phone from his hand as he passed her.
"Ah." She nodded. "So, I suppose you came all the way here so you could give me a message to deliver to Daniel or Teal'c?"
He turned around to face her. "Stop it. Just stop it, Sam." Considering her shocked expression, the use of her first name was not lost on her.
Unfortunately she recovered quickly. "Stop what? Feeling like I'm the last one on the list of people you care about? The last one you even want to be around? My God, you couldn't even be near me at your office without flinching. Did you enjoy stringing me along for the past four years? Were you glad to leave and finally be rid of me?"
Where the hell did that come from? Had she been drinking? He held up his hands, trying to deflect her anger. "Look, Sam, I never strung you along."
"Really? And not calling me wasn't just a repeat of the same pattern? You never wanted there to be an 'us', did you?"
Now he had had enough. "Me?" He interrupted. "You're the one who never wanted it to be mentioned again!"
"Oh, don't you DARE put the blame solely on me for this one!" She moved past him and opened the door. Pointing to the outside she said, "I think you should leave."
"No."
"No? You don't have a say in this matter, I'm afraid. Please just leave before I call the front desk." The hurt in her voice was evident; there was also something else underlying the pain and he was determined to find out what that was.
"You won't do that." His tone changed, but when her eyes met his, he could see that she remained undaunted.
"I won't? You know me better than that, Jack." Just as she crossed the room to the phone he put a knee on the bed to head her off and grabbed her arm as she was about to pick up the receiver.
"No, you won't."
She struggled with him a little, trying to pull away, but his fingers wouldn't budge. "Damn you, Jack. Let me go." His eyes met hers as she held his gaze.
"Tell me," he began as he started to unbutton his shirt with his free hand. "Did you ever think about me when you were in bed with your ex-fiance?"
Her eyes widened. "Of all the arrogant…"
He ignored her. "Did you imagine it was me and not him fucking you from behind? Hmm?" He lowered his head and smiled darkly as her eyes closed. "Would you like to find out what I really feel like?"
She didn't have time to answer before he had her in his arms and up against the wall, pressing fully into her. The next few minutes were a blur as clothes fell haphazardly to the floor, and they roughly explored each other with lips, teeth, hands, each vying for control over the other.
He knew he would be in pain the next morning, but since his brain had gladly given up coherent thought he lowered them both onto the bed and lay on top of her, putting both hands on either side of her body, lifting his upper body up slightly.
She wasn't going to give in that easily and bit his lower lip as he tried to kiss her.
"Ow! What the hell was that?"
"You expected this to be nice? Shut-up, Jack, and just hurry up before I really make you leave."
He just smiled and lowered his head once more.
--------------------------
Afterwards, as he lay on his back and stared at the ceiling, he didn't dare to look at her, afraid to see disappointment on her face.
"Even now you can't look at me?"
He turned to see her head propped on her hand. He blinked and shook his head. "No, it's not that."
"What is it then?"
He rolled over onto his side. "You see," he began and he lightly stoked her arm, "there once was this guy. This guy was a complete ass. And there was this girl and she… but her ass was nice." She laughed. "And they liked each other and both knew it, but they refused to tell each other-"
"Jack?"
"Yes?"
"You're a crappy storyteller."
He looked shocked.
"But you look hot naked."
That got his attention. She extended her arms to him, and he gratefully folded into her embrace, breathing in her scent and molding her body to his.
After a few minutes of just being with her he spoke up, "I thought you had to catch a hop."
He could feel more than hear her snicker. "Oh, that. That's not until tomorrow."
He pulled away. "What? I thought you were catching one tonight."
"No. I said that I was catching the next available one, and that's not until tomorrow."
He thought about it for a bit. "Either way, I still have to go into work today."
She looked past his shoulder and checked the clock on the nightstand. "But that isn't for another five hours."
"So?"
"We can do a lot in five hours." The smile on her face was evil, and he couldn't help but laugh.
"You're going to kill me, you know."
"I'm aware of it. But first, shower."
He snuggled deeper into her. "Oh, but I'm happy where I am. And correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you already take a shower?"
"No, I actually didn't have time this morning." He could feel her breath tickling his shoulder. "Just to let you know, there is a non-skid surface in the shower. And I'll be wet."
That got him moving. "I'm up!" He stood and helped her to her feet.
She came around behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "No, that's later."
--fin--
Story Notes: Content Warnings: Profanity (F word a couple of times)
Thanks to the super-cool beta besyd who stayed up late one night specifically to help me with a real-time beta session. From now on if it has a sex scene I'll place the 13+ version on LJ and other non-17+ lists and the Adult version on my website. http://www.geocities.com/jemsters/
Feedback: Would love it, along with constructive suggestions, but they are not required.
Thanks to the super-cool beta besyd who stayed up late one night specifically to help me with a real-time beta session. From now on if it has a sex scene I'll place the 13+ version on LJ and other non-17+ lists and the Adult version on my website. http://www.geocities.com/jemsters/
Feedback: Would love it, along with constructive suggestions, but they are not required.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]