"Carter?" Jack whispered as he entered her lab, the only light being the occasional flash from one of the many machines lined up against the wall, which seemed to draw the room in around him.
There was only silence.
"I know you're here, I saw you come in," he told her gently.
He thanked whoever was listening that he spent so much time in Sam's lab because it made it so much easier to work around in the dark.
He heard a muffled sigh coming from the back of the room, where her cool swivelling chair was but she remained silent.
He moved expertly around her worktop, only stubbing his toe once on a chair that most definitely didn't belong there. His eyes were beginning to adjust to the blackness and he could barely make out her silhouette. He could feel her eyes on him as she watched him manoeuvre his way around her lab.
"What can I help you with, Sir?" She asked icily and Jack shivered involuntarily.
He did not answer as he pulled the abusive chair up behind his knees and perched on the edge of the hard plastic, ready for flight if she did not like what he had to say.
He took several deep breaths. He didn't do `talking'; this was one of Daniel's many areas of expertise – including death.
"You're mad." Talk about stating the obvious. The grunt from Carter showed that she held the same sentiments. "Okay, that wasn't as smooth as I'd intended," he smiled to himself slightly. "I'm here to apologise, Carter."
"Sir, you don't have to," she told him weakly.
"I'm also here to give you a lesson in Jack O'Neill." He continued as though her words had not been uttered. "I've lost a lot of people, team-mates in my career and I suppose, my life. I'm not gonna say that I've learned to stop it from hurting because that's virtually impossible. But I have learned not to let it affect my work and to mourn them in my own way and time. If I let every death affect my work ethic, I wouldn't be around to protect this world from impending doom. So, you have to understand, Carter, that I miss Daniel just as much as you do and I will mourn for him when I see fit. But for now, we need to stick together as a team and work through this. You can't blow me off like you did before Freyr came through. We have to do what we do best and protect this world the same way we've did everyday over the past seven years."
Both sat in silence: Sam in surprise; Jack in embarrassment. He heard her breathe deeply, shakily, but he made no move to comfort her.
"But this is *Daniel*, you're best friend!" She whispered harshly and Jack could hear the tears in her voice.
For some reason, her words angered him. He dropped his open palm onto the desk and saw Sam visibly start from surprise.
"And Charlie was Charlie!" His voice was louder than he'd intended and he didn't know which Charlie he was referring to.
"I'm sorry, Sir, I forgot… I'm sorry," her words held true regret and Jack felt like an ass immediately.
"No, I'm sorry. This has nothing to do with anyone else, this is about Daniel."
A new deeper, more serene silence fell between the two friends. Jack could hear Sam's sobs and knew that she was trying to mask them. He reached his hand out and covered hers; her hand twisted beneath his and their fingers laced together.
"It's just… I miss him so much," she sobbed and sniffed.
"I know, me too."
He could feel his own throat closing up and swallowed several times, trying to dislodge the lump.
They sat in mournful silence for a few minutes, both lost in memories of their ascended friend.
"So what? I'll see you around?"
"I don't know…"
His eyes filled with tears as he remembered his surreal exchange with the now ascended Daniel. He didn't trust his voice to speak and was glad when Sam did.
"When I told Osiris… When she asked where Daniel was, I had to tell her that he was dead…it was so hard," her last few words were lost in her tears and Jack felt his own cheeks dampen.
"C'mere," he told her and pulled her gently by the hand until she was sitting on his knees, leaning into his chest, weeping openly.
He ducked his head and pressed his lips to the crown of her hair, gently rocking her back and forth as his own tears of despair leaked down his face.
Now was the time for mourning, he decided as he picked Sam up by the knees and rose from the chair. He leaned against her desk and slid down the solid wood into a more comfortable position. Still he cried openly, the first time in many, many years and cradled Sam to his now soaked chest.
She was right: this was Daniel. And he could mourn.
TE
Story Notes: (gater_101@hotmail.com)
Spoilers: Revelations, Meridian.
Episode: Just after the end of Revelations.
Archive: My Site ( http://gater101fiction.tripod.com ), Helio, SJD, Carterfic please, Jackfic and fanfiction.net
Spoilers: Revelations, Meridian.
Episode: Just after the end of Revelations.
Archive: My Site ( http://gater101fiction.tripod.com ), Helio, SJD, Carterfic please, Jackfic and fanfiction.net
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]