Sam balanced her Goddaughter on her hip as she answered the phone. `I bet this is your Mommy,' she cooed at the six-month-old child. `Hello? `What? … No! … But she … This afternoon? … Thank you.' Sam hung up the phone. She couldn't believe it. Her best friend since high school, Kate's mother, had just died in a plane crash. Her lawyer was stopping by that afternoon to discuss custody arrangements. Sam had agreed to go down as Kate's primary care giver in the event that something happened to Lucy. Neither of them had ever expected it to. Kate's father had been killed in action before her birth, Lucy didn't have any family meaning Sam was the only person she had left. Sam sunk to the floor with tears pouring down her cheeks. She'd promised Lucy that she'd look after Kate but Sam had no idea how she was going to manage. She'd never been very good with children. She had been looking after Kate all weekend while Lucy flew to Chicago to attend a funeral. It was ironic really; the funeral had been that of Kate's Godfather. He was the one who would have originally taken Kate if anything happened to Lucy. He had died of a heart attack a week earlier so Lucy flew up to say goodbye. It was, indirectly, that which had killed her, leaving Sam alone with a baby and no idea of what to do. By that afternoon Sam would be Kate's legal guardian and somehow she'd have to make sure that she did this right.
*
That evening Sam strapped Kate into her carrier and sat it on the table in front of her. Kate fell asleep immediately so Sam got a cup of coffee and an unread science journal. It didn't take long for Sam to fall asleep as well. That was how Jack found her the next morning, asleep with her head on the table and a baby in front of her. Jack scooped Kate out of her chair before she could start crying and rocked her gently. A small giggle from the child was enough to wake Sam and make her sit up with a start. She almost panicked when she saw the carrier empty. Turning around she couldn't help but smile at the sight of Jack bouncing the baby in his arms with a contented look on his face. `Morning.' Jack smiled when he noticed Sam was awake. `What are you doing here?' Sam asked with a yawn. `You didn't arrive for the briefing so I came to see what was up,' Jack informed her. `I thought this little one was meant to go home yesterday.' `She was but…' Sam sniffed, took a deep breath and relayed the whole story to Jack. Holding Kate in one arm he held Sam's shaking form tightly and led them into the living room. Sitting down he held Kate on his lap and pulled Sam to sit next to him, holding her close until she stopped crying. `I think she needs changing,' Jack announced. `I'll do it,' Sam insisted. `I'd better get used to it I suppose.' Carrying the baby to the changing mat in the kitchen Sam fished around for a diaper. `Oh no. We're out of diapers,' Sam groaned. Dropping her head into her hands. `Here, let me.' Jack moved over to the table, picking up a clean tea towel and some pins he expertly put it on like a diaper while Sam watched in awe. `My God,' Sam said. `You're like MacGyver with oestrogen.' Jack laughed. `Sara refused to use disposables when Charlie was born, that lasted all of a week before she changed her mind. But I was pretty good at it by then.' Sam smiled; even now there was still a degree of pain in Jack's voice when he talked about Charlie.
*
Sam greeted Janet with a yawn as she entered the infirmary. `Hey Sam.' Janet smiled. `You…look dreadful. Are you ok?' Sam nodded, yawning again. `I'm just tired. I didn't realize how much work I usually do until I had to combine it with childcare.' Janet agreed, remembering how much her life had changed when she had adopted Cassie. `Where's Kate?' Janet asked noticing that Sam was alone. `The Colonel took her to the mall. Apparently babies need more things than I thought,' Sam replied with a small smile. Janet remembered a video that Cassie had asked her to show Sam. `Cassie wants you to watch this.' Janet pulled it from her bag. `She made it in her film studies class.' `What is it?' Sam asked through another yawn. `A music video,' Janet answered pushing play on the VCR. Sam sat down, rested her chin on her hand and began to watch. With each passing second Sam's eyes drooped a little more until her eyes closed and her chin slid off her hand jerking her awake suddenly. Janet didn't fail to notice. `Lay down,' she ordered, stopping the tape and pointing to the closest bed. Sam reluctantly lay down, her eyes involuntarily closing again. Within seconds she was asleep. Janet chuckled to herself, leaving the room and closing the door quietly behind her.
*
Jack walked through the isles packed with diapers and formula, trying to figure out which brand was best. `Jack?' a voice asked from behind him. Kate was strapped to Jack's front in a carrier; he turned around, keeping one hand on her back and one on the trolley in front of him. `Sara? What are you doing here?' he asked, smiling at his ex-wife. `Roger forgot to buy diapers last night when he went to the shops.' Sara referred to her new husband. `Kimberly must go through about a million a day,' She complained light heartedly. `How old is she now?' Jack asked, genuinely interested. `Three months,' Sara replied, getting distracted by the child Jack was carrying. `I didn't know you were with anybody?' she said accusingly. Jack seemed to have forgotten that having a child strapped to him was strange. `I'm not,' he replied, automatically untangling one of Kate's hands from his sweater. `Oh,' Sara sympathized. `It's such a shame to split up when they're so young.' `What?' Jack looked confused and then it suddenly hit him. `No, no, she's not mine. I'm just getting some supplies for Carter.' `I'm sorry,' Sara said sadly, remembering the conversation she had had with Jack a year earlier about how much he cared for Sam. `Why?' Jack was confused again. `Oh.' It dawned on him what she meant. `No, she adopted her after a friend's death. Not that we can…anyway.' Sara nodded to show that she understood. `I have to go, Jack. Take care of yourself and don't be a stranger.' Sara began to walk towards the checkout. `Roger still wants you to take him to that hockey game,' she called back. `Give him a call when you've got some free time.' Jack waved as she disappeared out of sight. He was glad that he got along so well with Sara's husband, he liked seeing her happy and was glad that there was no jealousy. Having settled their differences when he had joined SG1 it seemed like a shame to stop being friends, however if Roger had been uncomfortable with it he would have given her up for the sake of her happiness. According to Sara, Roger and his ex-wife were still good friends so it wasn't a problem, him and Roger also had a lot in common.
*
`So Carter, where did you say you met this guy?' Jack asked as he watched her getting ready for her date. `The book store,' Sam replied. `In the bloody, occult mysteries section by any chance?' Jack inquired. `How did you guess?' Sam laughed. `Actually he was buying my book.' `Oh no. Carter can't you see where this is going? He only wants you for your mind.' Jack feigned horror. `Damn.' Sam smiled. `Whatever next.' `Don't be late back. I've got a hot date tonight,' Jack informed her. `Yeah right.' Sam nodded. `With a dancer right?' `And a model,' Jack spoke up. `Well you better call her because I don't intend on being early.' Sam grinned. `You're going out with a guy who bought your book. You won't be later than 2200,' Jack pointed out. `Don't hold your breath,' Sam threw back as she went to answer the door. Sam came back into the living room to pick up her purse and gave him the last instructions. `Remember, Kate doesn't like the Simpsons. If you brought a tape to watch then wait until she's in bed.' `She loves it,' Jack defended. `She finds the childish humor below her,' Sam insisted. `She's eight months old,' Jack laughed. `See you later,' Sam called behind her as she left. `Much later!'
*
Sam pushed open the front door and crept into the house so as not to wake Kate. There was no sound but she could see the light from the TV flickering in the living room. `Sir?' She walked over to the couch and smiled at the sight. Jack was lying on his back, fast asleep with Kate lying on his stomach, also asleep. The Simpsons was playing with the sound turned down. `You can go on your date now,' Sam called to him quietly. `Uh huh,' Jack muttered in his sleep. `You were right,' Sam whispered as she pulled a blanket over the two of them. `I'm back at nine thirty. It was boring.' `Umm,' Jack sighed. Sam smiled again, brushing the hair from Kate's forehead and giving her a kiss. She instinctively repeated the process on Jack, pushing a gentle kiss against his head. `Sweet dreams,' She whispered before leaving the room.
*
Jack unlocked Sam's front door and let himself in. He had been away on a mission for a week and planned to look after Kate so that Sam could sleep in. He checked on the nine month old child who was still sleeping and then quietly entered Sam's room to check that she hadn't set an alarm. It was only 0500. Sam wasn't there. Jack walked through the house, checking each room as he went. He finally found her in the living room. She was sat in front of the computer. Her head was resting against the wall and she was asleep, one of her hands was still resting on the keyboard and the other was still holding the mouse. Jack moved her hand ever so slightly to turn off the screen saver and looked at what she had been doing. The first page showed a browser error. Jack closed the window and looked at the second page. The Mulder/Scully shipper's fan fiction archive. Jack chuckled, knowing that Sam would deny intentionally opening the site. He closed the rest of the windows and shut down the computer before lifting Sam into his arms and carrying her to her bedroom. The fact that she didn't wake up when he moved her worried Jack. He could imagine how little sleep she must have been getting in order to start sleeping that heavily. It was time she had a break. Jack decided that he would talk to the General later that day. Him, Sam and Kate would go up to the cabin for a week. The relaxation and fresh air would do them all some good.
*
Sam walked through the living room of Jack's cabin, glancing at the toys all over the floor with a smile as she passed. She shivered a little as a breeze blew through the open door. Entering the kitchen she found Jack whistling to himself as he put away the plates they had eaten dinner on. `Hey,' she greeted him. `Hey yourself.' Jack smiled. `Did you put Kate down for her nap?' Sam asked, assuming that that was why she wasn't playing with her toys anymore. `No. She's on the rug playing,' Jack replied casually. `Did you leave the door open?' Sam asked, slightly panicked. `Of course not,' Jack immediately realized where Sam's questions were going and they both ran outside. `Kate?' Sam shouted as loud as she could. `Katie?' Jack called, facing the other direction. Sam ran towards the gravel driveway. `Kate!' she screamed, eyes frantically searching the area. Jack ran towards the woods, also yelling for the child. Both of them appeared to have the same thought at the same moment as they turned and ran towards the lake. Rounding the corner of the cabin they saw Kate standing unsteadily on the edge of the deck. `Kate, no!' Sam screamed breaking out into a run again. Jack reached the deck before Sam, just as Kate fell into the cold water.
Jack was immediately in after her, catching hold of the tiny girl's arm before her head could slip under the water. Jack passed Kate up into Sam's arms and hauled himself out onto the deck. A wave of relief flooded through Jack as he realized what a close call that had been. If Sam had been even a few seconds longer in the bathroom. If he had hesitated when she asked if he had put Kate down. There were so many `ifs' and Jack didn't want to think about them. Tears of shock were streaming down Kate's face and tears of fear and relief slid down Sam's. Jack led them both inside and ran a warm bath for the shivering child. Kate's crying stopped as the warm water removed the chill of the earlier shock. Jack stood by the door watching Sam as she knelt by the bath and played with Kate. He was still wearing the wet clothes from the lake, but he was so absorbed in watching bath time that he had completely forgotten.
*
`She'll be fine,' Janet announced, having finished her exam of the infant. Jack and Sam had driven home from the cabin as quickly as possible after the incident, just to make sure that she was ok. `I feel like such a failure,' Sam sighed. `I promised Lucy that I'd take care of her and I almost got her killed.' `Sam, it's not your fault. Things like this happen no matter how much care you take to prevent them. She's fine. That's what you need to focus on.' `I should have been watching her.' Sam wasn't ready to forgive herself. `I almost killed Cassie a few times when I adopted her,' Janet reminded Sam. `and she was 11 years old.' `Exactly, you didn't expect to have to watch her all the time,' Sam pointed out. `You weren't to know that she'd expect cars to stop for her, or that she didn't know what electrical sockets were.' `But I should have been more careful because I knew that she didn't have the advantage of experience. The point is that she survived all of my mistakes. We don't think about them,' Janet concluded. `How's J…the Colonel?' Sam asked, changing the subject. `He'll be fine. Nothing a few little injections won't sort out.' Sam would have sworn that there was an evil glint in Janet's eyes. `And you can call him Jack you know.' Sam looked down at Kate instead of answering so Janet changed the subject again. `Has she spoken yet?' `She said her first word while we were away,' Sam beamed. `She called me Mommy.' `That's great Sam,' Janet grinned, stopping when she saw Sam's face fall. `What?' `Do you think the shock will set her back?' Sam asked concerned. Kate chose that moment to open her eyes. `Mommy,' she whimpered, reaching for Sam. Sam beamed again and lifted her into her arms. Jack walked cheerfully into the room, smiling when he saw Sam and Kate. He walked over so that he was standing right behind Sam and bent down a little so that his face was level with Kate's. `How's our little water baby?' he cooed, his face so close to Sam's that his breath brushed across her cheek when he spoke. Kate giggled happily and reached for Jack, who without hesitation took her out of Sam's arms and into his own. Jack walked to the side of the room and sat on the floor to play with the little girl. Janet watched Sam as she watched them together, a soft smile on her face and a look of complete devotion in her eyes. `He's pretty good with her isn't he?' Janet broke into Sam's thoughts. `Huh? Oh…yeah.' Sam tried to brush off her behavior. They both looked back at Jack and Kate. Jack was sat with his legs straddled and Kate lying on her back in between them. Kate rolled onto her side and pretended to bite Jack's leg, he responded by tickling her, causing the child to shriek with laughter. Then the farce would start over. As Jack pulled Kate into a sitting position and began a game of pat-a- cake with her Sam's eyes glazed over again. `Sam!' Janet raised her voice to get Sam's attention after holding a conversation with herself for a few moments. `Sorry.' Sam snapped back to reality again. `Mommy.' Kate's attention had been attracted when Janet had shouted so she ran over to her mother and held up her arms. `Up,' She demanded. Sam lifted her into her arms as Jack climbed to his feet and joined them again. Sam turned to Janet and was about to speak when Kate grabbed hold of Jack's collar and whined; `Daddy.' All three adults snapped their heads around to look at her. `Did she just…?' Jack questioned. `She did just…' Sam and Jack's eyes met. `I never said…' Jack was about to start defending himself but Sam interrupted. `It's understandable why she'd think that. You spend as much time with her as I do.' Jack nodded slightly. `But there's no reason that she'd have even heard the word, I don't think we know any fathers.' Sam smiled. `I think it works,' she said shyly, shifting her gaze to Kate. `You mean you don't mind?' Jack asked, catching Sam's eyes again. `She should have a father,' Sam replied with a new resolve. `If you want…' She averted her gaze again and blushed a little. `I'd like that.' Jack beamed. Sam turned to speak to Janet, only to realize that at some point during the exchange the doctor had left them to their privacy.
*
When Sam put Kate down for the night it was already 2200. She flopped on to the couch next to Jack, her head dropping against his shoulder. `I'd have never thought that a trip to the zoo could require that much energy,' Sam yawned. `Did you want to stop here tonight?' Jack asked. `I can take the couch.' `I'll have the couch,' Sam insisted. `I know what it does to your back.' Jack laughed and agreed without a fight. He knew that he wouldn't be able to change her mind. `Thank you for today.' Sam turned to face him. `I know Kate had a blast and I…it was nice,' she said, smiling. Jack smiled back. `I spoil her,' he admitted. `She has me wrapped around her little finger.' Sam laughed. `Me too.' `You're right,' Jack agreed. `How did I end up being wrapped around both of your little fingers?' `I meant that I'm wrapped around Kate's,' Sam blushed. `Oh.' Jack looked away from her to hide his embarrassment. Sam put her hand on his cheek and turned his head back towards her. She smiled at him softly, her clear blue eyes sparkling in the dimmed light. `Thank you,' she repeated, her meaning clear to them both. Their eyes stayed locked on each other.
*
Jack rang the doorbell and opened Sam's front door without waiting for an answer. `Hello?' he called out to the quiet house. One of the bedroom doors creaked open down the hall and Kate walked out rubbing the sleep from her eyes. `Daddy,' she called, coving the rest of the distance at a run and jumping into his arms. Sam appeared a few moments later from a door that Jack was sure led to the basement. Kate also seemed to notice where Sam had emerged from. `Were you making magic again Mommy?' the four year old asked. Sam smiled and nodded her head. `Magic huh?' Jack raised his eyebrows. `What you doing in there?' `It's just some experiments,' Sam assured him. `Nothing you'd be interested in.' `Ah-ha,' Jack agreed. `Lots of boring chemicals.' He turned to Kate. `Yuck, chemicals, ick.' He laughed. `Yuck, ick,' Kate copied. Earning her a smile from both of the adults. `Come on then Katie.' Jack moved towards the door. `Lets go to the park and leave your Mommy to her magic.' Kate went to Sam to say goodbye. Leaning in for a hug, Kate whispered. `You should make some magic for Daddy, Mommy. Cause his aren't very good.' `Shh,' Sam insisted. `Don't tell him.' `He doesn't do them himself. I think they're done by someone not as good as you,' Kate told her. Sam smiled again and kissed Kate goodbye. `Have fun you two,' she called as they left. `Make sure you look after your Daddy, Kate. Don't let him get lost.'
Sam was careful to stay out of sight as she observed Jack playing with Kate at the playground. Her camera clicked almost continuously as he twirled her above his head and chased her around in circles. Sam had never seen Jack looking happier than he did when he was playing with children. They jumped and leapt and rolled and laughed together. All of the worry lines that usually seemed fixed to his face had gone. There was a glint in his eyes with every smile. Sam watched them until they moved away towards the swings. There was no decent cover there so if she followed she knew that she'd be discovered. No doubt if Jack hadn't been so absorbed in Kate then he would have seen her before. She watched for just a moment longer as Jack lifted Kate off of the ground and slung her over his shoulders. Sam had seen him carry injured men out of battle like that in the past. He had carried her out of danger like that before. The difference was that this time his eyes were dancing. He spun in circles while Kate's arms wrapped around his neck, clinging to him despite knowing that he wouldn't drop her. Sam captured a few more shots and then backed out of her hiding place.
'Honey we're home,' Jack called as he closed the door behind him. `Where's Mommy, Katie?' `She's probably in the dark…' Kate trailed off and bit her lip. `In the basement,' she finished. Jack opened the basement door only to come face to face with a thick black curtain. He was about to push it aside when Sam appeared from behind it. `Hey,' she smiled, placing a hand firmly on his chest and pushing him backwards out of the door. Craning his neck to see past her and the first curtain all he could see beyond was another equally thick, equally black curtain. Sam closed the door behind them and locked it. She waited until Jack had gone into the living room before hiding the key underneath a vase on a nearby shelf, unaware that Jack had been watching from the other room. `Did you have fun?' Sam asked as she joined them on the couch. `Yeah.' Kate yawned. `Did Daddy behave himself?' Sam smirked, glancing sideways at Jack. `He tried to fit in the baby swings,' Kate revealed. Sam found herself wishing that she had stayed and observed them for a little longer. She could only imagine the amount of bribery she could issue if she smuggled a shot of that into the SGC. Kate yawned again and laid down with her head on Jack's lap. She closed her eyes and was asleep in seconds. Jack lent him head against the back of the couch and closed him eyes. `Not you too?' Sam chuckled. `I'm just resting my eyes,' Jack insisted. The rhythmic breathing that followed told Sam otherwise. She lent her head again Jack's shoulder and joined them. Knowing that if they slept now and she didn't that she wouldn't be able to keep up that evening.
Jack eased Kate's head off of his lap and gently moved Sam off his shoulder, careful not to wake either of them. He crept into the hall and found the key that Sam had hidden earlier. He unlocked the door and went inside, closing it behind him. Flicking the light switch on the other side of the two curtains caused the darkness to be pierced by a dull red glow. He carefully made his way down the stairs, his eyes quickly adjusting to the dim light. There were trays of chemicals on a bench in the middle of the room. On the far side of the room sat an enlarger, something that Jack vaguely recognized from an astrophotography magazine he had looked at. Around all four of the walls there were pieces of string hung. Pegged to the string were dozens of photographs, some were dry and others were still dripping. Jack began to look at the photos one by one. There were a few at the start that looked like things that he had seen through his telescope. Following those there were some of people, some of the faces he recognized and some he didn't. None of the subjects seemed aware that they were being watched. There were a number of shots of plants and animals, every single one capturing the pure essence of the subject. A voice from behind him startled Jack out of his daze. `So you found me out.'
`Sorry,' he quickly said, `I shouldn't have come down. I was just curious.' `It's ok.' Sam smiled. `I was gonna tell you tomorrow anyway.' `Why?' Jack asked, immediately feeling stupid. `I did this for you for your birthday.' Sam picked up a frame off of one of the surfaces that Jack hadn't reached. She flicked a switch in the corner and bright white light replaced the red. Jack blinked a few times and squinted at the brightness. He took the offered frame out of Sam's hands. In it was a picture of Jack. He was holding Kate under her arms and was swinging her in a circle. Both of their faces were visible and both of them were smiling, their eyes locked together sharing the fun of the moment. `It's amazing,' Jack breathed. `Thank you so much.' `You're welcome,' Sam assured him. He walked to the edge of the room that he hadn't seen. There was a whole row of prints of him and Kate together at the park. `You can have any of them you want.' Sam insisted. `And I can change the size if you like.' `These are brilliant Sam,' Jack gushed, completely lost in the silver coated world in front of him. Then he turned to look at her and grinned. `Magic huh?' Sam returned the smile with one of her own, her blue eyes dancing at the thought. `I showed Kate how the picture just appears from nowhere when you put it into the developer,' Sam told him. `She thought it was magic.' `Show me,' Jack insisted. Sam tuned to red lights back on without argument. She turned on the enlarger and projected a shot onto the base. Changing various parts of it deftly she had a print ready in seconds, Jack hadn't even had time to see what was being projected. He followed Sam over to the trays and she handed the paper to him. `Develop it,' she stated, holding his wrist and guiding the paper smoothly into the chemicals. `Watch,' she whispered, as if speaking aloud would ruin the magic. Jack watched as a picture began to form. Within seconds he could see what it was. Him, asleep on his back on the couch with Kate lying, also asleep, on his stomach. Sam lifted the print out and dunked it in a tray of water before emerging it in another chemical. They both stood there for a few minutes then Sam removed it and rinsed it thoroughly before hanging it up to dry with the others. `It is like magic,' Jack told her as they left the dark room. `Yes.' Sam smiled. `Yes it is.'
*
`Daddy's here, Daddy's here, Daddy's here!' Kate ran away from the window that she had been watching out of and towards the front door. Moments later Jack opened the door and was flattened by the very excited five-year-old girl. `You were meant to dress up Daddy,' Kate scolded him, looking distastefully at Jack's black pants and black polo neck jumper. It was Halloween, the first one they had been out of the mountain for since Kate had been old enough to care. Jack had promised that he would dress up and take the child trick or treating. `I have,' Jack defended himself. `I'm Jonas.' `That's not a good costume Daddy,' Kate accused him with a frown. Jack sighed and pulled a long black cape out of his bag. He tied it around his neck and put a set of plastic fangs in his mouth. Kate jumped up and down, clapping her hands in excitement. `Can we go, can we go, can we go?' she begged. `Ok,' Jack relented, giving up on the idea of having a coffee first. `Give Mommy a kiss.' Kate ran over to Sam and flung her arms around her neck. Sam straightened Kate's witches hat and kissed her goodbye. Kate returned to her father's side and was about to go out of the door when she stopped, turned and told Jack in no uncertain terms. `Give Mommy a kiss.' Jack chuckled, knowing better than to argue with the stubborn little witch that stood before him. He walked over to Sam and pretended to sink his fangs into her neck. `No Daddy,' Kate complained. `Take out your teeth or you'll hurt her.' Sam giggled as Jack reluctantly removed the plastic fangs. He leant forwards and placed a soft, chaste kiss on her cheek before moving back and opening the door. `Come on then Katie.' He took her hand and walked outside. `See you later Carter. Don't scare all the little kids ok.' Sam laughed as she closed the door behind them.
*
Sam had almost run out of sweets when a tiny skeleton, a little devil, a small fairy and a larger Princess turned up at the door. `Trick or treat, trick or treat, give us something nice to eat,' the three children chorused. As Sam handed out treats she spoke to the Princess. `Cassie, you look beautiful.' `Thanks,' Cassie replied half-heartedly. `You sound happy,' Sam joked. `I came home from university for the week and find out that Mom has volunteered me for SGC babysitting duty,' Cassie complained. Sam gave her a sympathetic smile. `You should have recruited Jonas, I'll bet he'd have been fascinated.' `Mom said he'd ask too many questions. Personally I think she just wanted to be home alone with him.' Cassie laughed. `He's at your house?' Sam was surprised to say the least. `Mom thinks that it would be unfair for him to be alone. I'll tell you one thing, if they get together and have kids…I'm not taking them out on Halloween.' Sam nodded her understanding, having opted to stay in and hand out the treats rather than going out with Jack and Kate. `Where's Kate?' Cassie asked. `Colonel O'Neill's taken her out,' Sam responded. `Please tell me that you don't call him Colonel when the three of you are out together,' Cassie groaned. `No,' Sam defended herself. `You call him Sir don't you?' Cassie accused. Sam didn't have an answer. `For crying out loud Sam,' Cassie complained. `You're daughter's gonna end up calling all her boyfriends Sir or something.' Sam laughed. `Cassie, you're exaggerating.' `That's not the point. Promise me that you'll start calling him Jack when you're not at work. For Kate's sake,' Cassie insisted. `I'll see what I can do,' Sam replied. `Oh no you don't. Mom uses that one all the time,' Cassie informed her. `It's just a way of saying no but still getting the person off your back. It won't work with me. Promise me.' `Ok,' Sam relented. `I promise.' Cassie began to walk quickly away from the house having realized that the children she was with had already moved on to the next one. `I'll see you tomorrow,' she called behind her as she disappeared.
*
Jack browsed the isles of the department store, trying to figure out what to get Sam for Christmas. In previous years they had tried to keep everything professional and had bought each other books or videos. Now they were on a first name basis, thanks to Cassie, and he felt that he should get her something a little more personal. `Jack?' Sara's voice interrupted his thoughts. `Sara? It's been too long.' Jack briefly hugged his heavily pregnant ex-wife. `Yes it has.' Sara smiled. `Kimmy, don't touch that,' she called over to her daughter. `You're having another one,' Jack needlessly pointed out. `Very observant,' Sara laughed, waving over Jack's shoulder as Roger approached holding Kimberly by the hand. `What are you looking for?' Sara asked. `A Christmas present for Sam,' Jack sighed. Sara laughed, recalling the assortment of odd gifts he had given her over the years. `Just avoid anything that breathes and you'll probably be ok,' Sara suggested. `That's it!' Jack cried out with a grin. `What is?' Sara inquired. `A cat. She used to have a cat. I'll get her a new one.' Sara just nodded slightly, choosing not to point out that she had recommended the opposite. `Daddy, look what I found.' Kate ran towards Jack and thrust a Major Matt Mason doll in his face. Jack grinned, remembering the rather old and worn out one that Sam had stored under her bed. `Can I have it Daddy, please?' Kate begged, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. `Sure,' Jack relented. `Daddy?' Sara asked quietly. `I thought you said she wasn't yours.' `Things got very complicated,' Jack offered by way of an explanation. `She started calling me Daddy and Sam decided that it would be good for her to have a father figure.' `I'm happy for you Jack. You deserve this.' Sara touched his arm lightly. `Have a good Christmas.' `You too. See ya round Sara. Bye Roger,' Jack called over his shoulder, taking hold of Kate's hand and heading to the checkout, his mind now focused on where he could buy a kitten.
*
`You won't go home will you daddy?' Kate pouted from the doorway. `I have to Katie. I need to sleep so I'm all ready for Christmas tomorrow.' Jack smiled. `I want you to stay here.' Puppy dog eyes accompanied the pout. `Don't worry, Daddy's going to stay,' Sam assured the child. `Now bed, or Santa might not come.' Kate scampered out of the room and was in bed in record time. `Sweet dreams.' Sam kissed Kate goodnight and smoothed her hair. `Can you ask Daddy to tuck me in?' Kate asked sleepily. `Of course.' Sam went into the living room and sent him in. `Night night Katie.' Jack kissed her forehead. He pulled the covers over her and tucked the edges tightly around her body. `How's that?' he asked as he switched off the lamp. Kate just nodded her head. `Yeah, you'll be fine so long as you don't need to scratch your nose.' Jack grinned, realizing that he'd tucked her arms inside the cocoon too. `I'll take the couch tonight,' Jack offered as he sat down wearily next to Sam. `No that's ok,' Sam insisted. `I volunteered you to stick around.' `Really Sam, it's your house, your room, your bed. You take it.' Jack was adamant. `No,' Sam answered simply, leaving the room to get changed for bed and effectively ending the argument. Jack laughed to himself, for some reason he never won any of the fights he had with Sam. Not that it could really be called a fight but it was the closest to one they ever came.
It was about 3am as Sam switched off the bathroom light and walked into her room half asleep. She climbed into bed and was sound asleep once again as soon as her head touched the pillow.
`Mommy, wake up! It's Christmas!' Kate ran into the bedroom and 5:30am shouting. Sam half opened her eyes as they adjusted to the light, only to find herself lying with her head on Jack's chest. She rolled onto her back at the same time as Jack began stretching. Neither allowing themselves to react because Kate was sitting at the foot of the bed. `Good morning Honey,' Sam yawned. `Did Santa come?' `Yes,' Kate announced excitedly, running from the room. Sam buried her face in the pillow. `Even earlier than last year,' she complained. `Ah, I got to sleep in last year if I recall,' Jack mocked, sounding surprisingly awake at the early hour. `About this,' Sam motioned between the two of them. `I must have gotten up in the night and I just forgot…' `Not a problem Sam,' Jack laughed. `It's not everyday I get woken up by my daughter to find a beautiful woman asleep on me.' Sam blushed and was trying to think of a reply when Kate came back in, dragging a stocking full of presents with her. Jack climbed out of bed wearing only his boxer shorts, much to Sam's shock. He walked over to his draw, which Sam had cleared out for him a couple of years earlier when he had started spending the night, and took out a small, Christmas bag. He got back into bed and handed it to Sam. `I thought we weren't going to do stockings for each other,' Sam reminded him. `I couldn't help myself.' Jack grinned. `Me neither,' Sam admitted, lifting an almost matching bag out of the drawer in her bedside table and handing it to Jack. Half an hour later all the presents were unwrapped. `Ok Kate,' Sam announced. `We're going to go back to sleep for a while.' `Ok,' Kate agreed without hesitation. She climbed into the bed beside Sam, forcing Sam to move into the middle to make room for her. `Merry Christmas Mommy, Merry Christmas Daddy.' Kate lay down with her back to Sam and went quickly back to sleep. Sam and Jack exchanged a look of disbelief. Jack moved his arm so that it was around Sam's shoulders, giving her a little more room to lie. Sam gave up on trying to find room and keep a professional distance from Jack. She draped one arm over his stomach and placed her head on his chest. `We should probably think about getting a king size,' Jack whispered as they closed their eyes again. `I don't know,' Sam whispered so quietly that she didn't intend for Jack to hear. `This is quite nice.' He grinned, pulling her a little closer. `No argument from me.'
`Kate, will you get that?' Sam called from the kitchen as she fought with the turkey. Kate reluctantly pulled herself from her new toys and went to the door. `Janet! Cassie! Jonas! Teal'c! George!' she cried out all in one breath, jumping up and down on the spot. `Mommy they're here!' Jack emerged from the bedroom and smiled a greeting at the guests. `Come in guys, make yourselves at home,' he invited. As they entered one by one he kissed Janet on the cheek, hugged Cassie tightly and kissed her on the cheek and shook hands with Jonas, Teal'c and George. `Dinner's almost ready if you want to take a seat.,' he told them. `I'll just go help Sam in the kitchen.' `Are you winning?' Jack grinned affectionately as he watched Sam trying to carve the large bird. Sam laughed. `I don't think so.' She handed him the knife. `You know I've always had a thing for women in aprons,' Jack leered playfully as they dished up the vegetables. `I may have to wear one more often,' Sam replied flirtatiously. Placing all of the dishes on the table Sam and Jack took the only two remaining seats at the end of the table. Dinner seemed to be over before it had begun. Jonas and Teal'c managing to finish off most of the food between them.
`Presents!' Kate shouted excitedly as they all took seats in the living room in front of the Christmas tree. Presents were distributed as the adults drank eggnog and ate minced pies. Kate once again received more toys than she could possibly know what to do with. `Sam.' Jack took a box that she had seen Teal'c carry in earlier and handed it to her. `From me.' He smiled. Sam untied the ribbon a little suspiciously and lifted off the lid. `Oh my God, Jack.' Her entire face lit up. `It's so adorable.' Sam knelt up from where she was sitting on the floor and threw herself into Jack arms. The force of her movement knocked them both over so that she was lying on top of him on the floor. `Thank you thank you thank you,' she enthused, hugging him tightly before pulling away. Jack just sat back up with a lopsided grin on his face. `I named it,' he told her. `On it's little tag.' Sam reached into the box, the tiny, silver tabby kitten swiping playfully at her hand. She looked at the little tag that was attached to its collar. "Zat" the collar read. Sam chuckled at Jack's choice. `Zat the Cat,' she snickered still grinning a 100W smile. `She was the closest to blue that I could get,' Jack informed her. `Blue?' Sam asked, bewildered. `Like the energy that comes out of a zat gun,' Jack pointed out meeting her eyes. They both sat grinning at each other for a moment. `Sam, why don't you give Jack his?' Janet interrupted, bringing them both sharply back to reality. Jack noticed the box as being one that Janet had brought in with her. He untied the ribbon and lifted off the lid, the same look on his face as the one Sam had had earlier. A little Dachund Terrier cocked its head to the side and looked up at him. Its scruffy brown hair sticking out at all sorts of angles, making it look all the more adorable. Its blue eyes met Jack's and it lifted a paw up in an attempt to reach him. Jack noticed that it also wore a tag on a collar. He looked at the inscription. "Danny" it read. The second Jack had seen the dog he couldn't help but think about how its innocent blue eyes and unruly hair made it look like their old friend. Jack broke out into another grin, propelling himself at Sam in the same way she had moments earlier. This time Jack was lying on top of Sam; he pushed a kiss against her cheek. `Thank you so much,' he breathed holding her closer for a moment. Both seemed oblivious to the room full of people, one of which who just happened to be their commanding officer. They sat back up, watching Kate as she stopped stroking the kitten and moved over to the puppy. The kitten mewed, causing Kate to turn back towards it. The second she had returned to the kitten the puppy whined. Kate turned back but hadn't even left the kittens side when it mewed again. Kate looked from one to the other and back again before dropping her head into her hands. `For crying out loud,' the child complained, slumping against the couch, apparently having given up on both of the animals.
*
`How was school?' Sam asked as Kate climbed into the car. `It was fun,' Kate replied. `I painted a picture of a piskie and my teacher liked it.' `You mean a pixie?' Sam asked. `That's what I said, a piskie. Where's Daddy?' Kate remembered that Jack was going to pick her up that day. `Daddy couldn't make it,' Sam replied. `Is he still at work?' Kate pressed. `Yep.' Sam started driving them home. `He promised that he'd finish today and take me to the park,' Kate sulked. `Daddy wanted to honey, but he got hurt and had to stay there,' Sam carefully told her. `Is he in hospital hurt or just a little bit hurt?' Kate continued. `He's in hospital,' Sam sighed. `Can we go and see him, Mommy?' Kate asked. `I don't think so, not today.' Sam pulled up outside their house. `Please,' Kate pleaded. Sam walked up to the house in silence, not speaking until she closed the door behind them. She knelt down to Kate's eye level. `Daddy's still in the mountain. Remember, you aren't meant to go in there,' Sam explained. When Kate had been a baby they had occasionally taken her to Cheyenne Mountain because there was nowhere else to leave her, even then it had been as rare as possible. Once she had started walking and talking General Hammond had requested, with good reason, that they avoid taking her to work with them, and until this moment that had never been a problem. `I want to see him.' Kate's eye began to fill with tears. `I'm sorry honey.' Sam tried to pull Kate into a hug. `I want my Daddy.' The little girl burst into tears and ran to her bedroom. Sam blinked her own tears out of her eyes and picked up the phone to call the General. It wasn't fair to stop Kate from seeing her Father.
Sam sat down by Jack's bed with Kate on her lap. He was still unconscious. Kate reached out and gently touched the tube that led up to Jack's mouth. `What's that for Mommy?' she asked with her eyes wide. `It's a ventilator,' Sam explained. `It's to help Daddy breath while he's asleep.' Kate nodded her head and thought for a moment. `Will he always have to have that when he sleeps now?' she asked in concern. `No, no,' Sam assured her. `Just this time.' `Will I hurt him if I touch him?' Kate asked, pausing with her hand half way towards Jack. `No,' Sam replied. `I'm sure he'd like to know that you're here.' Kate reached out and touched Jack's hand. After holding it for a moment she climbed off of Sam's lap and up onto the bed. She laid a hand on Jack's face and a tear escaped from her eyes. Kate turned to look tearfully at her mother. `He looks very sick Mommy.' `Well he had to have a little operation,' Sam explained. `But when he wakes up I'm sure he'll look better.' `Is he going to die like my other Mommy?' Kate climbed back onto Sam's lap and looked up at her. `No,' Sam stated firmly. `He'll be fine, and he'll be home before you know it.' Sam had never been sure how to explain to Kate about the parental situation in her family. It was something she had been worried about from day one. She had left a picture of Lucy by Kate's bed from the very beginning and had told Kate about her as soon as she was old enough to listen. Kate had seemed to understand straight away. Knowing that even though Jack and Sam weren't her real parents that they loved her. Kate had always called Lucy her `other Mommy.' Sam didn't mind at all. She was relived that Kate understood so well. Kate buried her tear-streaked face in Sam's shoulder. `Can we take Daddy home?' she pleaded, gripping hold of Sam's shirt in her fists as if afraid that she would get hurt too. `Soon,' Sam soothed her, rocking her gently. `We'll take him home soon.'
`Janet?' Sam stuck her head into Janet's office. `Sam, how are you feeling?' Janet rose to her feet and walked to Sam's side. `Would you watch Kate for a while?' Sam avoided the question. `I have to go and get Danny. He probably hasn't been walked since the mission started.' `Why don't you take Kate with you? It would probably do her good to get away from here for a while,' Janet suggested. `She won't leave him,' Sam stated. `And I'll have to go and get Danny from Jack's house. Going there will just upset her.' `Sam…' Janet started, laying a hand on her arm. `I'm fine, Janet.' Sam blinked tears out of her eyes. `Sam listen to me. There's no brain activity. The machines are all that's keeping him alive.' Janet told her sadly. Sam shook her head. `No Janet. He'll be fine. He can get through this.' `Sam, he's brain dead,' Janet said a little more firmly. `No!' Sam almost screamed. `He's stronger than that Janet. He wouldn't give up like that.' `It's not giving up Sam.' Janet stepped back. `He had really bad injuries; he lost a lot of blood. He can't fight his way through this because there's no fight left.' Sam shook her head. `We'll have to let him go you know.' `I promised Kate that he'd be ok. She already lost a mother, how can I take her father away too?' Sam blinked, causing tears to cascade down her cheeks. `I'm sorry Sam.' Janet was about set to cry herself. `My suggestion is don't make any more promises.' Sam took a deep breath. `Don't let him go while I'm gone.' `No more promises Sam,' Janet reminded her. `Just…look after them both until I get back. Then I'll talk to Kate,' Sam pleaded. `I'll do my best,' Janet promised Sam left the room. `Sam?' Janet called after her. Sam turned around and looked at her with glassy eyes. `What if Kate asks for you?' `I told her. If she forgets just say that I went to get Danny and that I'll come and pick her up later,' Sam chocked through her tears. Janet nodded and went back into her office. Sam continued to the elevator, blinking furiously to stop herself from crying as the news sunk in. She couldn't lose him, not now.
Sam stood in front of the gravestone, the tears streaming down her cheeks mingled with the rain. "Jonathan `Jack' O'Neill" the headstone read, "Much loved. Much missed" "Forever free" "He saved the world." Sam hadn't wanted his birth and death dates on it. Those two pieces of information were the only things that didn't have any bearing on who Jack was. "1955-2008" didn't describe the man who had lived between them. Sam gripped tightly to Kate's hand. She couldn't see her face but she was sure that the child was crying. Sam realized that she couldn't see anyone's faces. The entire area seemed misty. The tears blurring her vision didn't help. Sam closed her eyes, trying to block out the feelings that shook her. Opening her eyes she saw Daniel standing in front of her. No one else appeared to notice him. `Save him, Sam,' Daniel pleaded. `You can save him.'
Sam awoke with a start. Tears from her dream were still coursing down her face. But he was still alive, she remembered. Still in the infirmary waiting for her to think of a way to save him. Sam got up and navigated her way through the corridors of the SGC expertly. She found what she was looking for and returned to the infirmary. `Sam, what are you doing here?' Janet asked. `What are you going to do with that?' she continued, noticing what Sam held in her hand. `I can save him,' Sam stated. `What if you can't?' Janet played the devil's advocate. `What if I can?' Sam countered. `I have to try.' `And what if it make him worse?' `How can you be worse than brain dead?' Janet sighed. `I've been practicing,' Sam informed her. `Since Daniel died. I didn't want to have to risk that happening again.' Sam put the healing device on and held it over Jack. A light emanated from the object as Sam ran it up and down his body. Nothing happened.
`I'm sorry Sam.' Janet laid a hand on her friends arm when Sam finally gave up and allowed herself to be led into Janet's office. `Why Janet?' Sam sobbed `Why him? Why now?' `He has a living will Sam. You signed it as his next of kin.' Janet brought up the unthinkable. `No,' Sam shook her head violently. `Sam, it's what he'd have wanted,' Janet reminded her. `I promised Kate that he'd live!' Sam shouted shakily. `I never told him how much…' Sobs cut Sam off mid sentence. `Sam, you have to let him go,' Janet told her, feeling guilty to push the fact and yet knowing that she had to. `I can't,' Sam whispered. `I don't think I can do this without him.' `You'll do it for Kate.' Janet slipped an arm around Sam's shoulders. `What's she going to do without him?' Sam wiped her eyes roughly. `She'll have you. And she'll always know how much he loved her.' `Why?' Sam allowed Janet to pull her into a hug. `Why does everyone I love have to leave me?' `I'm here Sam,' Janet added her tears to those shed. `I'll help you through this.' Sam tightened her grip around Janet. `I miss him already.' She sobbed harder. `I know.' Janet rocked her a little. `I'll get easier.' `I don't think it will.' `Trust me.' Sam pulled away from Janet with another shuddering breath. `You should take Kate and say goodbye,' Janet suggested. Sam nodded her head and walked towards the door. She thumped the closed door a few times. `No, no, no!' she screamed burying her face in her hands. Janet went to step forward and comfort her again but was stopped by Sam kicking the door and yelling, `No!' once more at the top of her voice. Sam took a deep breath and went to find Kate.
As she had expected Kate was sitting beside Jack's bed again. `Kate, baby?' Sam caught her attention. `Mommy?' Kate noticed the tears on Sam's cheeks. `What's wrong?' `Everything,' Sam muttered under her breath. `Sweetie, Daddy isn't going to get better,' she said softy, sitting beside her daughter. `Why not?' Kate asked, her eyes wide. `Because he's much too sick,' Sam replied sadly. `So he's not going to be around anymore. Like my other Mommy,' Kate clarified. Sam nodded her head, biting back tears. `But I don't want Daddy to die.' Kate's bottom lip quivered. `Neither do I baby.' Sam put her arms around the child. `Then save him Mommy, please,' Kate sobbed into Sam's neck. `I wish I could,' Sam assured her. `Oh God Kate, I really wish I could.' `Where will I go when you're at work?' Kate cried. `And when I don't feel well or have a bad dream what will I do without a Daddy?' Sam's heart broke at Kate's words. Jack had been the perfect Father; she didn't know what they'd do without him. `You have to say goodbye,' Sam told her. Kate didn't question it. She knew what Sam meant. Kate climbed up next to Jack again. `Daddy? It's Katie,' she whispered to him. `I love you Daddy, so, so much.' More tears fell down Sam and Kate's cheeks. `I wish you didn't have to go because I really need you.' Kate laid her head on Jack's chest. `You're the best Daddy in the world,' she whispered against his chest. `I think that Charlie will be glad that he has you back though because you're his Daddy too and he hasn't had you for a very long time and if he loves you as much as I do then he needs you as much as I do and he has probably been very sad that you've been with me and not him,' Kate said all in one breath. Jack had told her about Charlie a few months before when he had gone to visit his son's grave. Kate had been quite excited that she had had a big brother and quite sad that she had never met him. `I miss you Daddy,' Kate finished, kissing Jack on the cheek because the ventilator obscured his mouth. Kate climbed back down and walked over to where Janet was standing by the door. Kate allowed Janet to gather her into her arms, leaving Sam space to say goodbye.
Sam sat on the side of the bed and brushed a hand over Jack forehead. `I'm sorry I couldn't save you,' she whispered. `I'm sorry that you're going to miss out on watching another child grow up.' She leant forwards so that her face was inches from Jack's. `You'll never know how much we're going to miss you.' A tear fell from Sam's eyes and landed on Jack's cheek. `I love you Jack.' A couple more tears fell, `I should have told you how much I love you.' Sam laid her head against Jack's chest, listening to the rather misleading beat of his heart. `He has two hearts and I have none,' Sam muttered the words of a poem she had fallen in love with. `I weep the past I dread the gloom, of sorrows in the time to come; when thou without a friend shall be, weeping on a strangers knee. My heart would break but it is brass, to see thee smile upon my face, to see thee smile at words that be, the messengers of grief to thee.' Most of the poem didn't fit with the situation but Jack had read her those lines once when they had spoken about Charlie. Sam had known at the time that years of loss had turned her heart to brass. Not anymore though, she'd allowed herself to love again and once again it had been ripped away. `Wait for me,' Sam pleaded with Jack's still form. `I'll never forget you.' Sam stood up and walked over to Janet, taking Kate from her. `We're going,' Sam announced. `Don't you want to stay while…?' Janet was cut off by Sam's answer. `I can't sit here and watch another one of the people I love die. We'll go, then you can do what you have to do.' `Sam.' Janet caught her arm as she tried to walk away. `You'll regret it.' `No.' Sam held her crying daughter a little closer. `I've said what I need to, I can't watch, not again.' Sam didn't give Janet a chance to reply. She walked straight to the elevators, ignoring Jonas as he tried to speak when she walked past.
`Well Colonel,' General Hammond took his turn to say goodbye. `I guess your luck had to run out in the end.' He sighed. `I've never known a better man than you, son. It's been an honor serving with you,' George ended as was customary. `We have fought side by side and one many battles my friend.' Teal'c gripped Jack's hand. `I shall ensure that your family remain well. You shall never be forgotten my brother.' Everyone in the room could hear how much was said in those few words. `I'm glad we got to be friends, Jack,' Jonas said solemnly. `It's been an honor to know you. Thank you, for everything.' Only Jack and Jonas would ever know what the everything was but no one was in any doubt that once Jack had accepted Jonas he had treated like a true friend. `Good bye Jack,' Janet took her turn. `Cassie and I will miss you. I'm sorry there wasn't more I could do.' Janet had exhausted words in the time she had been trying to save him. There was nothing really left to say and no tears left to cry. Janet reached out and turned the life support off.
*
Sam pulled up outside her brother's Denver apartment. She had asked her neighbor to look after Zat and had taken Kate and Danny straight there. It was the only place she had ever stayed that she hadn't visited with Jack at some point. Her brother kept it for when they came to visit Sam or for when he had meetings in the city. He had given Sam a key once when she had had two days of lectures and hadn't wanted to drive home in between. No one would find her there and that was the plan. `Mommy, why are we here?' Kate asked, looking at the unfamiliar surroundings. `Just a little holiday.' Sam forced a smile. `A little break.' `What about Daddy?' Kate was still tearful even after crying solidly for two hours and then sleeping for an hour. `Daddy can't be with us anymore.' Sam switched off her cell phone and unplugged the landline. `Never again?' Kate was still desperately in denial. `No, baby, I'm sorry.' Sam flopped onto the couch wearily. Kate climbed up beside her and lay in her arms. Danny had gone to sleep in the corner, sensing and sharing the sadness in the air. Sobs wracked through Kate once again at another memory. `He'll never finish reading Charlotte's web.' Sam pulled Kate even closer, crying again as well. `I know,' she whispered. `I know.' Sam and Kate cried them selves to sleep in the quiet and unfamiliar apartment. Both wishing that Jack was there and both wondering how life could go on without him.
*
The steady beep on the heart monitor remained constant. George, Janet, Jonas and Teal'c all stood with bated breath waiting for Jack to slowly weaken and end his fight. Nothing happened. The strong and steady beep remained, not faltering and not slowing. Jack's chest continued to rise and fall with healthy breaths unaided by a ventilator. `I don't understand,' Jonas spoke up after an uncomfortable interval. `I thought that he couldn't breath on his own. I thought you said he was brain dead.' `He is. Well… he was,' Janet replied uneasily. `Well doctor, which is it?' General Hammond interrupted. `I need another EEG on Colonel O'Neill stat,' Janet ordered a nurse who was loitering nearby. Before the scan could be arranged Jack opened his eyes. `Janet?' he asked huskily, his throat still sore from the ventilator. `Jack?' Janet asked, amazed. `The one and only.' He coughed. `How do you feel?' she continued. `Throat's a bit raw. I'm a little confused. Pretty good though,' Jack replied. `How should I be feeling?' `Dead,' Jonas answered bluntly. `Well in that case I feel great.' Jack perked up. Then he froze. `Where's Sam?' All four of the other people present exchanged looks with each other. `I'll go and call her,' Janet offered, leaving the room before she could be questioned as to why Sam wasn't there. `I should go help her with that,' Jonas added hurriedly, also leaving. The General just slipped out silently without an excuse. `Teal'c? Where's Sam?' Jack pushed. `We believed you to be dead O'Neill,' Teal'c told him with an uncharacteristic hesitation. `Major Carter did not wish to sit and watch you die before her eyes.' `So she left me?' Jack asked sadly. `Her and Kate were very distressed at your apparent death, they required leave to deal with their loss,' Teal'c tried to explain. `But I'm not lost Teal'c,' Jack tried to shout, hurting his throat more. `I'm right here and I'm fine.' `It did not appear so this morning,' Teal'c informed him. `You appeared to be brain dead. Major Carter even attempted to save you with a Goa'uld healing device. Her attempt was however, unsuccessful.' `No it wasn't,' Jack told him patronizingly. `Cause I'm all better now.' `So I can see,' Teal'c said with a raised eyebrow. `What's that supposed to mean?' Jack threw back. Janet and Jonas re-entered the room. `She's not at home and her cell is off,' Janet informed them. `There's no one with her?' Jack asked in disbelief. `Only Kate. She wanted to be alone,' Janet replied. Jack sighed and began to pull of his monitors. `Not so fast Colonel.' Janet put on her best commanding voice, one that usually stopped even Jack. `Not this time,' Jack told her. `She's out there alone and she's upset. I'm going to go and get her.' `No.' Janet placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back onto the bed. `You don't know where she is and you are not leaving the infirmary until I'm sure you're ok.' `Do you have any idea where she might have gone. Somewhere where she didn't want anybody to find her,' Jonas joined in. `I don't know,' Jack sighed, allowing Janet to pull the sheets back over him. `Her brother's perhaps, or the cabin. Maybe the apartment if she really didn't want to be found.' `What apartment?' Janet asked. `Her brother keeps one in Denver,' Jack said calmly. `I've never been there but she's used it a couple of time before. The number's in my address book,' he told them without prompting. Janet and Jonas disappeared once again.
`Hello Samantha,' Mrs. Harding from the apartment next door greeted her. `I haven't seen you here for a while.' `No,' Sam replied distractedly. `I've not been here.' `I knew you were here though.' the old lady continued. `I'm sorry if we've been making to much noise.' Sam turned to walk away again. `Not at all dear,' she insisted. `I got a call from one of your friends. Must have been given my number by that nice husband of yours.' The words brought tears to Sam's eyes again. `Excuse me?' Sam asked, turning pale. `I spoke to him last time you were here, gave him my number for emergencies. He has such a nice voice. Mr. Quinn called this time, asked if you were here.' Sam couldn't help but feel haunted. Only her and Jack had known that the apartment even existed. `Did he say why he phoned?' Sam pressed. `Just said to tell you that you should have waited. That's everyone's fine and Jack's waiting for you. Such a nice voice.' Sam nodded her head, completely confused. `You should get going dear, if he's waiting.' `Yes, I will. Thank you,' Sam breathed. She hurried back into the apartment and packed up their things. She didn't know what was going on; obviously Mrs. Harding had gotten confused. They drove home anyway, faster than Sam usually would have. She needed to know what was happening. She shouldn't have left him; she knew that now.
Sam all but ran into the infirmary, Kate could hardly keep up. There was Jack, standing, a picture on health in the middle of the room. Sam threw her self at him, her eyes narrowing into a glare as she started beating her fists against his chest. `You bastard!' she screamed, forgetting that Kate was in the doorway. `You stupid, selfish bastard!' Jack caught hold of her wrists to stop her from hitting him. `Ouch,' he muttered. `How could you put us through this? We thought you were dead.' Sam was breathing heavily. `Surprise.' Jack tried to make light of the situation. Sam shook her head. `No.' She looked away and then back again. `We thought you were dead,' she repeated more slowly. `It nearly killed Kate to lose you.' Jack hung his head. They both knew that it wasn't his fault but he understood why Sam was angry. `Just…don't ever do that to me again, ok?' Sam fell into his arms and held on tight, not willing to let him go. Seeing her Mother relax, Kate entered the rest of the way and allowed Jack to pull her into a hug. `We knew you wouldn't go Daddy,' she said cheerfully. `Not until you read the end of Charlottes Web.' Jack grinned and thanked whatever angel was smiling down on him for letting him live to make his baby girl smile again.
*
Sam rubbed her hands together as they waited for the carnival procession to start. `Cold?' Jack asked, taking her hands in his and rubbing them to warm then up. `Not any more.' Sam smiled. `My legs ache Mommy,' Kate complained. Sam sat down on the wall behind them and lifted the seven-year-old up onto her lap. Kate teeth chattered in the cold. Sam unzipped her own coat and wrapped it around Kate as well. `It'll start in a minute,' Sam promised the child. `And you'll be able to feel the heat from all of the lights.' Kate tucked her own, gloved hands inside Sam's jumper as well for extra warmth. Jack noticed that Sam was still shivering and sat down next to her putting his arm around her. `Better?' He asked. `Always,' Sam replied, leaning against him. Both of them had accepted a long time ago that they couldn't have a relationship while they worked together. The mutual acceptance had made them a lot more comfortable around each other. Neither one worried about what others would think if they held hands or kissed on the cheek like most good friends did, especially good friends who were raising a daughter together. This comfort made them look, to the rest of the world, like a happily married couple. To anyone who cared enough to be looking for broken regulations, there was nothing in their actions that could be considered inappropriate.
A firework exploded in the sky, signaling the start of the procession. `I never knew that this town had a festival you know.' Sam spoke loudly to Jack over the noise of the floats. `It's not very well advertised,' Jack informed her. `But it's defiantly worth the trip. There's enough light bulbs here to light every house in Colorado.' Sam laughed and hooked her arm through his as they watched the brightly lit, themed floats begin to pass.
`Look, it's the mermaid,' Kate pointed out to her parents as a Disney float with water images and all of the characters from `The Little Mermaid' came into sight `Wow.' Sam smiled. `Isn't it good?' Then precession went on for two hours. Having jumped up and down excitedly every time she saw a theme she recognized Kate was very tired. `Can we go home now Mommy?' Kate rubbed her eyes sleepily. `Come here Katie.' Jack lifted Kate into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him neck and was asleep within seconds. Sam pulled Jack's coat around both of them and zipped it up so that the little girl wouldn't get cold. `It must be absolute zero out here,' Sam complained as they walked back to the truck. `I can't remember the last time it was this cold. `I'd say it's about 45°F,' Jack reasoned, causing Sam to roll her eyes. `I was kidding Jack,' She laughed, shivering a little. Keeping one arm around Kate and holding her sleeping form in his arms her wrapped his other arm around Sam's shoulders. `Time to go home I think,' he muttered, absentmindedly rubbing his hand up and downs Sam's arm to warm her.
`I think I could do with taking a leaf out of Kate's book and going to sleep.' Sam yawned as they drove towards her home. `You? Sleep? I didn't think you knew the meaning of the word,' Jack mocked. `You want me to drop you home or do you want to stop at mine?' Jack asked the ever-present question. `We should go home,' Sam apologized. `Janet's stopping by in the morning.' `Ok.' Jack turned his attention back to the road. `You're welcome to stay,' Sam offered. `That'd be good,' Jack thanked her. `But only if you let me take the couch.' Sam yawned again. `No argument from me.' Jack chuckled, the lack of a debate proving how tired Sam was. Sam smiled softly. `This was great,' she told him. `It was beautiful.' `I'm glad you liked it,' Jack grinned back, keeping his eyes on the road as he steered the truck around a bend. Sam leant her head against Jack's shoulder. `I'm glad we have you. I couldn't do this Mom thing on my own,' Sam sighed. `I'm pretty damn glad that you've got me too,' Jack grinned. `You have no idea how much…' Sam was cut off as a car drove straight in front of a lorry, causing the lorry to drive into the side of Jack's truck. The impact forced the truck to the edge of the road and onto its side. Within seconds it had tipped onto its roof. The car sped out of sight.
`Jack?' Sam called as she tried to take her seatbelt off. `Jack?' She undid the buckle and fell awkwardly onto her back on the roof of the truck. She shook Jack a little to try and stir him, there were no obvious signs of injury. `What…?' Jack opened his eyes. `Ouch,' he finished. `Can you get out?' Sam asked. `I don't think so.' Jack squirmed a little. `Can you smell…? Sam, get Kate out of the car now!' `Just let me help you…' Sam tried to find where he was stuck. `Now Sam!' Jack shouted urgently. Sam pulled away in shock and did as she was told. Climbing into the back of the truck she unclipped Kate and pulled her through to the front. She then wound the window down and pulled Kate through it. Carrying her to a safe distance Sam placed the little girl on the ground. `Mommy?' Kate asked through shocked tears. `It's ok baby. I just have to go and get Daddy ok. Stay here,' Sam instructed. Kate dropped to sit huddled up on the floor and nodded her head slightly. Sam ran back and climbed into the truck again. `Come on Jack, help me here,' she prompted as she tried to free his feet. `Sam, get out of here,' Jack said forcefully. `Not without you,' she insisted. `Wake up and smell the gas Sam,' Jack fumed. `This truck is gonna blow.' `Which is why we have to get you out,' Sam replied stubbornly. `Not at the risk of both of us dying in here,' Jack threw back. `Neither of us is going to die.' `We will if the truck explodes.' `I am not leaving you.' Sam felt tears in her eyes. `Sam.' Jack used a hand to pull her face towards his. Looking directly into her eyes even though he was still upside down he said. `Kate can't lose us both.' `We can't lose you,' Sam argued. `I can't lose you.' Sam returned to her task of freeing his feet. `I'll get myself out, Sam,' Jack tried again. `Please don't leave our baby girl all alone.' Tears of fear for Jack and guilt at what she was doing to Kate coursed down Sam's cheeks. `I can't go through this again, Jack,' Sam sobbed. `Please.' `You have to go.' Jack kissed his fingertips and pressed them against her lips. Sam gave one last pull on Jack's leg. His foot slid easily out of the boots which she had just finished unlacing. The remaining weight on the other foot was enough to pull it free. Jack landed painfully on his head. `Are you ok?' Sam asked. Jack didn't reply, he just grabbed Sam and pulled them both out of the truck. Sam picked up his pace. The truck exploded behind them throwing them both the last few feet just as sirens were heard approaching.
`What's your name sir?' The paramedic asked, shining a light in Jack's eyes. `Jack O'Neill,' he answered blinking to get rid of the bright spots that were now in his vision. `Looks like you all had a lucky escape.' She smiled. `Looks like.' Jack turned his head to look over at Sam where she stood talking to a cop. `I'd like you all to come into the ER just to have a doctor check you over,' she continued. `No,' Jack answered matter of fact. `No?' She raised her eyebrows. `We're going home,' Jack told her. `We need to go home. We're just a little shaken up.' `You really should be under observation,' she insisted. `Look, I'll sign what ever you need me to ok. We're going home.' He watched Sam walk over, her arms wrapped around herself. `Kate's gone back to sleep in the police car. Detective Stephens said that he'd drive us home,' Sam told him quietly.
Sam cuddled against Jack in the back of the car as they were driven to her house. He slipped an arm around her shoulders, feeling her shake; although whether it was from the cold or the shock he was unsure. `You should keep an eye on Jack, Mrs. O'Neill,' the detective, who didn't look or sound old enough to have left school, suggested. `Uh huh,' Sam replied without really listening. None of then had the energy to explain to the other man that her and Jack weren't married. Sam turned and looked up into Jack's eyes. `Don't sleep on the couch tonight,' she whispered. Jack didn't answer except by pulling her a little closer. The detective gave them a strange look in the mirror but wisely chose not to respond.
Sam and Jack tucked Kate up in bed, both of them watching her intently, relived that she was ok and not too shaken up by the accident. `Kids bounce back fast,' Jack whispered, leading Sam into the bedroom. They both removed only their shoes and climbed into bed. Sam cuddled right up into Jack's arms so that they were practically only one person. `It's ok, Sam,' Jack said soothingly, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. `We're all ok.' They both fell asleep clinging to each other. Shocked and happy to have once again cheated death.
Sam woke up to an empty bed, almost panicking until she heard the sound of someone in the kitchen. Jack entered the room a few minutes later with coffee and toast made just how she liked it on a tray. `How do you feel?' Jack asked as he placed the tray on her lap. `Weird,' Sam admitted. `Shock,' Jack diagnosed calmly. `Kate's still sleeping.' `Ok,' Sam mumbled. `I made you coffee,' Jack reminded her, putting the mug in her hand. Sam looked up at his face. `Umm.' She smelt it. `I love you,' she muttered. Jack knew that although she did mean it, she hadn't meant it in an anything but plutonic way in that context. `I have an errand to run.' Jack touched Sam's arm lightly. `I'll be back soon ok?' Sam nodded half heartedly, not really wanting him to leave but knowing that she shouldn't stop him. `I'm just going to walk Danny.' Jack noticed the lost look that had passed over Sam's face. `Jack?' Sam caught his attention as he was about to close the door. `Yeah?' He turned back; looking set to do anything she asked if it would make her feel better. `Bring Danny here, huh?' she asked quietly. `So that you don't have to go home again tonight.' Jack understood how Sam was feeling. He felt it too. But she'd lost him before, or at least thought she had and it was clear that those memories had been recalled. The haunted look in her eyes told him that she was remembering her own mother's death as well. Any kind of accident was hard but to experience something that you've already lost someone to must be even harder. He smiled. `Sounds good.' When Jack had left Sam drank the coffee and turned on to her side. She curled up in a ball and pulled the covers tighter around her, trying to chase away the cold dread that was squeezing her heart. `Mommy?' a little voice asked at the door. `You ok baby?' Sam asked, sitting up a little. `Where's Daddy gone?' `Just to get Danny, he won't be long.' Kate looked unsure for a while. `Come here baby.' Sam held out her arms and Kate climbed into the bed beside her. `Everything's ok.' Kate hugged Sam and fell back to sleep in her arms.
`Jack told me what happened,' Janet said when she arrived. `How are you?' `Fine.' Sam smiled. `A little sick of being asked if I'm ok.' `Fair enough.' Janet smiled, then she noticed Kate hovering only a few centimeters behind Sam. `What about her?' Sam sighed. `She's gotten a little clingy.' `Understandable,' Janet assured her. `It's just the shock, she'll get past it.' `I hope so.' Sam smiled weakly. `Kids always bounce back.' Janet reiterated Jack's assessment. `Apparently.' Sam laughed, feeling more relaxed. The amount of things they had survived, there was no way that a little car accident was going to stop them.
*
`What time is Dad coming?' Kate asked, sitting beside her mother on the front door step. `He said five,' Sam answered distractedly, having been asked the same question a dozen times already that day. `Are you pulling an all nighter again?' Kate asked with a hint of disapproval. `Probably.' Sam smiled. `So I have to take all my stuff to Dad's?' `Your stuff is already at Dad's,' Sam pointed out. `I meant my homework,' Kate sighed. `Yes.' `Why can't you two just move in together already? It would save me a lot of hassle,' Kate complained. `Regulations,' Sam stated simply. `And I'm sure this particular situation is covered in those.' `Probably not,' Sam admitted. `Get Dad to retire. He's past it anyway,' Kate suggested. Sam laughed. `Don't let him hear you say that.' `Am I ever gonna get a little sister?' `Probably not,' Sam informed her. `Sapphire's parents just had one, and they're even older than you two,' Kate offered. `Thanks.' Sam pretended to be hurt. Kate sighed and groaned all at once. `I'm going to carry on sorting the attic.' `Ok.' Sam let her go. `I'll call you when your Dad gets here.' `
Hey.' Sam smiled from her seat on the front step as Jack walked towards the house. `Hey.' Jack grinned back, kissing her lightly once he reached her. They had given up with plutonic after the car accident the year before. It never went past brief kisses and comfortable hugs but it was a start. `Look what came home from school today.' Sam lifted up a school picture of Kate and showed Jack proudly. `Is Kate nearly ready to go?' Jack asked pushing another soft kiss against Sam's neck. `She's probably playing with the piskies.' Sam grinned. `Huh?' Jack asked, having never heard about the piskies due to being almost dead at the time. `Never mind.' Sam replied with a chuckle. `She was here a minute ago. Went up to the attic.' She moaned at his attack on the side of her neck. Sam was about to call out for Kate when a gunshot rang through the air, piercing the spring silence with a dark and dangerous threat. Sam jumped to her feet. `Kate!' she called out. Both her and Jack broke into a run, reaching the attic and seeing the sight that would forever plague them. Kate was lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood. Sam's Dad's old gun was lying next to her. Sam had forgotten it was even in the attic and she couldn't believe that it was still loaded. Jack switched into autopilot, his military side taking over and rushing them to the hospital.
Sam knew it was bad news the second she saw the surgeon walking towards them. He had a grim look on his face and wouldn't meet her eyes. He didn't get past saying, `I'm sorry.' Sam turned and tried to run for the exit but Jack grabbed onto her arm and wrapped his arms around her waist. It was just as well because at that moment Sam's legs gave out from under her. Sam and Jack both collapsed to the floor, hysterical sobs echoing from them and down the starched white corridors of the hospital. Jack couldn't believe that he had lost another child to the same god forsaken piece of technology. Fate was indeed cruel. But as he sat on the cold hard floor with his arms around the woman who would blame herself, he promised that he wouldn't let it rip his life apart again. He and Sam would survive it, together. Sam hated herself, hated herself for not knowing, for not stopping it. But as she felt Jack's strong, safe arms surround her she knew that they would survive. The near death experiences they had shared had not been enough to push them past regulations. This was. The only way Sam could think of to live though the death of her daughter was to do the one thing that Kate had longed for. Become a real family and give her a baby sister. Pain stabbed harder in Sam's chest as she realised that she had failed Lucy. She had made a promise and had failed to fulfil it. Carrying on fighting in her name was now the only thing that would constitute saving Kate.
The End.
(Don't kill me!!!)
Feedback!!Please!!!
Story Notes: Feedback- YES PLEASE!!!
Thanx to- Thank you soooooooo much to Jemma for betaing the second I gave it to her. I love ya girl. You are ace.
Dedication- For Cait, even though she'll never read it. For being the best sister in the world. For Jemma for the above reason, (the best beta in the world).
Authors Note- Kleenex warning in part 4 onwards. (ordered by Jemma)
Thanx to- Thank you soooooooo much to Jemma for betaing the second I gave it to her. I love ya girl. You are ace.
Dedication- For Cait, even though she'll never read it. For being the best sister in the world. For Jemma for the above reason, (the best beta in the world).
Authors Note- Kleenex warning in part 4 onwards. (ordered by Jemma)
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]