"So, any more business?" I asked wearily, as we finally finished the last debriefing before Christmas. Hammond had left hours ago, and I'd been trying to do the same thing, but Daniel just would keep talking and talking and talking....
"I've got just one more thing." Sam said. I groaned, and put my head in my hands. No sooner had I managed to get one scientist shut up then another one started.
"I've got Janet and Cassie coming over for Christmas," she said hesitantly, "and I wondered if you guys would like to come too?"
That was the best idea I'd heard all day. I glanced around at Danny and Teal'c, who nodded. "You're on...on one condition." I said.
"What?"
"We're cooking." She opened her mouth to protest, but before she could say anything, I interrupted. "I mean it Sam. This isn't a favour for you, its for the rest of us."
"You're a terrible cook Sam." Daniel added, then flinched as she glared at him.
"Did you not burn down your kitchen when you tried to boil a egg?" Teal'c added.
"I...I...okay, I give in, you can cook." she said, trying to hide her self-satisfied smile.
"Which was your plan all along." I whispered to her as we left. She merely smiled enigmatically. "Oh,and when we're done cooking..." I added, "you can tell me exactly what Sara said to you."
**********
DECEMBER 25TH 1999
Christmas was good. All the men piled into the kitchen early on and set about creating the best Christmas dinner ever. (Teal'c makes the best stuffing, surprisingly), while all the women relaxed with a drink and watched television. So, okay, it was a kinda switch on tradition, but I always did like cooking. And talking about drink, I noticed Sam was knocking back a fair few. Every so often, she would glance at me, and look apprehensive, then knock back another eggnog.
But she stayed sober long enough for dinner, and present opening. It was the first time we'd swapped Christmas presents,and she looked a little worried as she handed her gift to me.
"Do you like it?" she asked.
"Oh yeah." It was a book, 'The Mythology of The Wizard of Oz', all about the film, and the stories behind it, and its significance in modern life, and it was great. I mean really great. I'd expected...I dunno, some joke thing, but she'd got me this intelligent, thoughtful present, and I was grateful.
"So what did you get Sam?" Cassie asked, sitting on my knee, flicking through the book. I nodded to where Sam was opening her present, a small box. She held up a small silver celtic cross, on a silver chain. She didn't say thanks. She just smiled. That was thanks enough.
**********
Well, you get the picture, a perfect Christmas day. But all the way through, I kept wishing everyone would just go, and leave Sam and I alone, so I could find out what Sara had said. It was eating away at me. Was it good, or bad? What was it about? And why was Sam so bothered about telling me that she was getting drunk? (Not very successfully, contrary to all rumours it takes a LOT to get Sam drunk.) I knew what I hoped it was, but then that worried me too. And what if it wasn't? It was giving me a headache.
Everyone did leave eventually. I think I scared Danny away by glaring at him when he suggested another game of something, because he practically ran out of the door. I'd have to remember to apologise to him later. I followed Sam into the kitchen, my stomach tightening at the thought of what was coming.
"Good party." I said, trying to be casual. She just nodded. She couldn't reply, she was drinking the last of the wine.
"Do you want any help washing up?"
"No," she replied. "I've got a machine, it just needs loading." She stepped forward, and then the alcohol must have caught up with her, because she fell straight in to my arms.
"Woah!" I said as I caught her. "You're just a walking bottle of wine right now, aren't you?"
She nodded, staring up at me, like a child who's been caught doing what she shouldn't have. There she was, in my arms, leaning against me, staring up at me with those big blue eyes, and all I had to do was bend forward and I'd be kissing her, finally.
But I didn't. Hey, I know I can be a bastard, but I'm not so much of a bastard that I'd kiss my major while she's so drunk she's forgotten which way is up.
But I think she guessed what I was thinking, because she suddenly stood up straight, and moved back a little, away from me. Her hand was still on my arm though, and I was very aware of it.
"Sir."
"Major?" I asked, trying to keep the tone formal.
"Sir, I promised to tell you something today."
"Okay." I was aware I was holding my breath, hardly daring to move, waiting for it.
"Okay." She took a deep breath. "Right. Do you remember when I was upset over Simon, you told me that you had loved Sara from afar for ages, that she never knew, how agonising it was for you to love someone that much, and never have them?"
I nodded. I was beginning to realise what was coming. I half-dreaded it. But the other half was overjoyed that it would come out at last.
"I told Sara this. She said it wasn't her. And she knew it wasn't any of the women before her. So, Sir, I had to get drunk so I could have the courage to ask...who? I don't believe you lied to me, so who is she?"
I could have said I was lying to make her feel better...but I've never lied to Sam, and I wasn't about to start now. Now was the moment to tell her, for better or worse, no matter what happened after tonight, no matter if she woke up and didn't remember a thing, I had to tell her now.
"Sam....." I started to say.
Then the doorbell rang.
It didn't ring just once though. It kept ringing and ringing. Sam noticed only when she realised I'd stop talking.
"It'll be Daniel. He forgot his glasses." She walked towards the door. I stayed in the kitchen, amazed at what I had been about to do. Should I have done? Was I being selfish, only thinking of me? But, if she didn't feel the same was, why was I asking.
I slowly became aware that the voice answering Sam's wasn't Daniel. I peeked round the door. I recognised her visitor, though I'd never met him. I'd seen him in a crumpled, tear-stained photo once. Simon.
I closed the door. It looked like my decision was made. Through the door I could hear them talking. I could hear him saying that he'd left his wife, and come back to her. I couldn't hear Sam's reply, but I knew he'd been the love of her life. I remembered how devastated she'd been when he had left her before. I'd left it too late. I'd lost her.
I picked up my coat, and walked out into the other room. They were standing talking. Simon looked not a little bit surprised to see me come out of the kitchen.
"I didn't realise you weren't alone." he said, an edge of peevishness in his voice.
"Don't worry." I said, before Sam could say anything. "I'm just a friend. I'll see you, Major." and I left, without turning round.
**********
DECEMBER 31ST 1999
30 MINUTES BEFORE MIDNIGHT.
I looked up at the house. No signs of life. Not even a light on, but that didn't mean anything. I knocked, several times, very hard, until my knuckles hurt, but there was no reply.
We'd all swapped keys long ago, in case one of us was hurt, or dead, or just overslept. They were strictly for emergencies, but I considered this an emergency situation. I unlocked the door, and walked into the cold dark house.
I searched the rooms methodically, carefully, as I had been taught. I didn't switch the lights on. I'd been here enough times to know my way around. I moved up, right to the top of the house, and there my search ended.
"Sir?" I asked quietly. He jerked up sharply, then squinted at me.
"Carter?" he asked, incredulous.
"Yes Sir."
"You made me jump. How the hell did you get in?"
I held up my keys.
"Carter, that's breaking and entering." His face was in shadow, and I couldn't tell if he was pleased or not.
"Actually, its illegal entry." I said. I felt oddly calm. I had done since I had made my decision to come here an hour ago. My thoughts and feelings had been in turmoil for a week now, but a long talk with Daniel had finally sorted things out, and I had dashed over here as fast as I could.
He nodded. "Would you like a hot chocolate?" he asked.
"Yes please."
He brushed past me to go downstairs, and I moved to his telescope. It was trained on Neptune, and I watched it, silent, unknowing, for ages. I'd been like that. Unaware of his scrutiny, of his eyes on me, of the gentleness in his voice when he spoke to me, of our unspoken communication, unaware of the feelings that were so obvious to everyone else. Or rather, I'd refused to be aware, refused to acknowledge them. It's difficult to believe when your greatest wish comes true, so slowly you don't realise its happening.
He returned with the hot chocolate, keeping his face down, so I couldn't see his eyes. I could see his hands though, and they were moving, fiddling, with the cup, with the telescope, anything.
"Did you know it rains diamonds on Neptune Sir?" I asked, more to get him talking then anything else.
He looked up, surprised. "Yes, I heard, the chemicals cool as they fall..."
"And become diamond dust. See, we do have things in common, Sir."
He moved round, behind me, so I couldn't see. "Shouldn't you be out celebrating the millennium, Carter?" he asked gruffly. I smiled. This was reviving an old argument we'd been having for months.
"It's not the millennium." I said, as expected. He nodded, and I think I saw the faintest smile cross his face.
I hadn't seen him since Christmas. The SGC had been on stand-down for the week, and Hammond had told SG1 to get out and have some fun, we deserved it. Still, I'd expected to see him, as we always spent a lot of down-time together, but I didn't. I'd missed him. A lot.
"Simon's gone." I said, answering the question I knew he'd never ask. He didn't say anything, but his hands became still. "I'll admit I was pleased to see him." I continued, and I saw Jack blink sharply a few times, "but that lasted all of ten seconds. I suddenly thought, what kind of bastard leaves his wife and kids on Christmas Day? So I threw him out. I got a call from Mark the next day. It turns out that SHE threw him out."
"You did the right thing then." he said, looking me straight in the face.
"Oh yeah." I continued. "You see, thinking about it, all I felt for him was what I'd felt for him when I was sixteen. And I'm not sixteen any more. I don't love him. I just thought I did. I loved a fantasy figure I remembered. It turns out that that particular fantasy is wrong." I stood up, and moved close to him, looking at my watch.
"We never finished our conversation in the kitchen, Sir."
He looked up at me, straight into my eyes. "I think you know what my answer is, Sam."
I did know. And it made me feel warm inside, a glow that started deep and spread to my fingertips, and I found I couldn't stop smiling. I took Jack's hand, and glanced at his watch.
"Two minutes to go Sir." I whispered. "Then its a whole new year."
"A new century. The 21st century." he agreed, his hand stealing round my waist.
"All the mistakes of the past wiped out."
"Whole new ones to make."
"I don't think this is a mistake, Si...I mean Jack."
"Good."
Midnight struck, and the fireworks in town exploded, but we never saw a thing. All we saw was each other.
**********
The End
Story Notes: SEQUEL TO SAM AND SARA WHICH WAS A SEQUEL TO ANOTHER STORY WHOSE NAME I'VE FORGOTTEN.
DISCLAIMER;THE USUAL
ARCHIVE;SAM AND JACK, HELIOPOLIS PLEASE
AUTHOR'S NOTES. IF ANYONE'S INTERESTED, SIMON LOOKS LIKE THAT TALL GUY IN PREY.
DISCLAIMER;THE USUAL
ARCHIVE;SAM AND JACK, HELIOPOLIS PLEASE
AUTHOR'S NOTES. IF ANYONE'S INTERESTED, SIMON LOOKS LIKE THAT TALL GUY IN PREY.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]