I Can't Be With You
Lying in my bed again
And I cry cause you're not here
Crying in my head again
And I know that it's not clear
Put your hands, Put your hands
Inside my face and see that's it's just you
But it's bad and it's mad
And it's making me sad
Because I can't be with you
Baby I Can't Be With You
Thinking back on how things were
And how we loved so well
I wanted to be the mother
Of your child
and now it's just farewell
Put your hands in my hands
And come with me,
We'll find another end
And my head, and my head
On anyone's shoulder
Cause I can't be with you
Baby I can't be with you
Cause you're not here, you're not here
Baby I can't be with you
Cause you're not here, you're not here
And baby I'm still in love with you
………………………………………………………………………………….
Why do I feel this way? Why do I have to love him? Why can't I just be with him? Why do these questions keep on running through my head? Grrr! I'm sick of it! All I think about is him! Him, him him! Why did I have to fall in love with him? Why do I listen to this song on repeat? … I know why. It's because it says most of what I feel. I'm still in love with him, but I can't be with him. It's so complicated. I'm in love with my commanding officer, my CO, Colonel O'Neill, Colonel Jack O'Neill… Jack… I'm in love with Jack! There, I said it. I finally said it. I can't stop thinking about him. I lay in bed at night imagining his arms around me. In fact, anywhere I go I imagine his arms around me, even when he is right in front of me. He's all I think about. I wonder if he thinks of me. He did admit to caring about me more than he should. But I wonder if he loves me, as much as I love him. I wonder if he imagines his arms around me, his body spooned against me at night. I hope so. But in a way, I hope not. If he does think of me, it might be driving him mad too. The "Crazy Colonel" would not be a good thing. Goa'uld beware!
I've got to leave in 5 minutes to get to work. Janet has scheduled a physical examination for SG-1… Jack topless… must focus mind on the task ahead… Jack topless… Damn! It didn't work! OK, first I just want to listen to this song one more time. Then I can go. Just one more time… I love the beat to this. This song makes me cry sometimes, I cry cause he's not here… with me. The different instruments playing sounds good… I heard somewhere that it would sound even better if a xylophone plays the melody…
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