samandjack.net

Story Notes: Author's Note: this story has been sitting in my hard drive since The Lost City. I finally finished it! Special Thanks to my beta SA. It's long so you have been warned. Hope you enjoy.


Godspeed


Part 1

There's a voice speaking to me and it sounds familiar.

"Sir wake up. Come on sir you've been asleep too long. It's time to get those big brown eyes open."

I begin to stir. I grab the blanket cover my head and turned over to my side and moan, "Come on Mom 10 more minutes."

The voice persisted and its tone is getting very agitated with me.

I know I've heard that voice before but I still can't place it.

The voice is nudging me now. Wait, how can a voice nudge me?

"Sir you've got to get up. Did you hear me or do I have to make that an order?"

Order? The voice was issuing orders?

I finally poked my head from under the blanket and look groggily at the voice.

I'm startled awake and almost fall out of the bed. I try to get my bearings and closed my eyes again hoping that this is all a dream. I hear my name called out again.

I rub the sleep from my eyes and try to focus only to see Janet Fraiser in front of me.

Pulling the blanket over my head I moan, "Okay Jack no more eating two month old salsa and chips for you. I definitely have to clean out that fridge."

I feel the bed dip and she's sitting next to me. She's pulling the blanket and I'm holding on for dear life. It comes off and she says, "Boo" and starts to laugh.

I sit up and look at her and touch her. I swallow and opened my mouth but shut it again. Either I'm dead or this is a really bad dream.

She smiles and says "it's me sir or should I call you Jack since I'm no longer in the military and I don't have to `Sir' you anymore?"

I'm still speechless. I'm in my bedroom in the midst of a dream with Janet Fraiser sitting on my bed.

This is wrong in so many ways.

In my mind I shouldn't be in my bedroom I should be with my team on in the ice in Antarctica.

My team, hey where was my team? And why am I at home in my bed with Janet sitting next to me pulling the blankets off of me?

Oh boy. I take a deep breath and try to figure out what the hell was going on. But nothing is clear. Everything is upside done.

The only thing I am sure of is that Janet Fraiser has been dead for 6 months but was now sitting on my bed asking me to wake up.

I speak to myself. Okay O'Neill this is definitely very weird you need to snap out of it. I shut my eyes and open them and but she's still sitting next to me.

I needed answers and I needed them now.

"Doc what's going on? What are you doing here? Where am I? Better question what am I doing here?"

Janet smiled and said, "Jack calm down I need you to tell me what the last thing you remembered was."

I take a deep breath and start to think.

"Last thing I remembered was going off world receiving another download of the Ancients' greatest hits, me asking for time off to get my affairs in order. Being on a ship with the gang and Bra'tac headed for the Lost City, getting there and finding out the Lost City was back on Earth in Antarctica. Arriving just in time to find the technology needed to kick Anubis' ass and his super soldiers, feeling extremely tired and being made into a human Popsicle. But now I'm at home in my bedroom talking to you. Okay definitely going to have to clean out the refrigerator more then every three months because if this is a bad dream then I am going to need someone to pump my stomach."

Janet shook her head and said that she was here to help, and that she was in here and touched my head.

I touch my head and joke that there's plenty of room up there.

She rolls her eyes and sighs. She looks at me and I ask the obvious.

She nods and says yes she's dead, and no she had not ascended, and yes she was here to help me.

She smiles and quips, "I leave and the whole place goes to crap."

I miss her wise cracks. Hell I miss her. But how was she going to help me?

I agreed with her. "You're not kidding Doc. It's been hard without you around. It hasn't been the same. We all miss you so much. It shouldn't have happened."

She squeezes my hand and tells me how much she's misses all of us but there's nothing that can change what happened, that what was done was done. She said there was another reason for her being here.

"Jack, I'm here to make sure you're okay. I'm answering some very special people's prayers. They're asking me to keep you safe and to watch out for you."

I'm surprised and ask who was praying for me? Janet smiles and starts to name off names.

"Well there's General Hammond he asked that you come back he misses you and wants you home. A Dr. Weir never met her but your name came up during her prayers asking for the knowledge to unlock you from your current state. President Hayes sent a prayer of thanks and asked that a way can be found to find your way back to the SGC he's got some news you'd be very happy with."

I raised an eyebrow and asked what news?

Janet smiled and said "well let's put it this way you're no longer going to be called Colonel and you should get use to being called General as soon as you get back".

I smiled back "Really me? No you're pulling my leg. I have more negative entries then positive in my file. They're only doing that because they think I'm not coming back to the land of the living."

Janet said, "Are you every going to stop with the dumb Colonel act? You deserve it and I'm going to do everything in my power to get you back there to get your much deserved stars."

She went on to name others praying for my safe return and then she started with my team.

"Daniel asked that I watch out for you because he misses you and wants me to keep you safe. Jack, he's lost without you and I need you to go back to help him for me. He feels that he's lost me and now you too. It's causing him great pain and I can't tolerate him going through this again."

I took her hand and said I understood. I was there when we had buried Janet and had to pry Daniel away from the grave. He was inconsolable saying he wished he had told her everything that he had held in his heart for her. Janet nodded saying she knew, that she was there after the first couple of days to make sure he'd survive this blow to his life. Daniel was special to her and she said he would always be. He was the man that held her heart and how she regretted they never acted on these feelings.

"Teal'c asked me to keep his brother-in-arms and life safe and to deliver you back to them since there were still battles to be fought and he needs you by his side."

Janet stood and walked over to the window and she whispered, "Cassie's pleaded with me to please return you to her safely. She misses you so much it kills me to hear her cry out at night screaming for you not to leave her. She says she lost me and can't bear to lose you and Sam also."

That got my attention.

I asked, "What do you mean lose Sam? Janet, what's wrong with Carter?"

Janet turned around and said that since I had been in stasis, Sam had been working night and day to find a solution to the chamber. She said Sam was obsessed in finding the answer to get me back to them. The Tok'ra had not contacted the SGC, and Sam had gone off world daily to try and find the Asgard with no luck.

"Jack she's run into one roadblock after another and there's no one there to tell her it's going to be all right and to watch out for her. It's like Edora all over again. She's not eating, sleep eludes her and when she does nod off, she berates herself when she wakes up saying that she's letting you down by not trying hard enough to find a solution. Then there's that man who shall remain nameless. He's nothing but a thorn in her side. She doesn't even go home anymore dreading that he'd be there to berate her and to make her feel guilty for not being there for him. He makes her life miserable asking why she doesn't come home, and questioning her about her feelings for you. He's taking out his jealously on her. She lets him because she feels it is her punishment for not saving you. I'm afraid she's at her breaking point Jack and there's no one there for her to lean on or to catch her."

I whispered what about Daniel and Teal'c?

Janet nodded her head. "Sam's pushed them away telling them to leave her alone with her work, that she needs the quiet to concentrate so she can find the answers she seeks. They've tried, but they're dealing with their own grief over your loss and think she's fine."

"They are all falling apart without you, Jack. They need you. You've got to look inside of you for the solution. It's there, you've just got to trust me and look within yourself."

She was asking me to find my way back home?

"I don't know how, Doc".

Janet stood up and started to pace, and stopped, and put her hands on her waist and started her tirade.

"I came back because my baby is hurting as well as everyone you hold dear. I'll be damned if she's going to go through that type of heartache again. It shook me to my core seeing her cry. Hell, seeing all of you grieve for me was devastating. You helped them through it, Jack, and that's why they need you to go back. Wait, you do want to go back don't you?"

I put my head in my hands and let out a big sigh. She had to have read my mind.

"I'm not a big part of their lives anymore, Janet. They will survive. They'll pull together and move on with their lives."

She looked at me and threw her hands up. She was upset and she was going to let me have it.

"What do you mean they'll move on? They can't move on. Did your brain suffer freezer burn? What ever happen to the O'Neill motto `no one gets left behind'? Was that a crock of crap or only when it's convenient? You think they'll move on? Well listen up to how well they've adjusted so far to you being gone.

"Daniel can't translate anymore. He's distracted by your absence. He's not sleeping and he's beating himself up because he thinks he's missed something and that he's letting you down. He keeps saying it should have been him. No one would have missed him. He's lost without you Jack, and can't find his way back. He's closing into himself and you know this will destroy him. He feels that without you around there is no reason to stay with the program."

I look away. Daniel always wore his heart on his sleeve. This would destroy him, he had few people he called friends and I was one of these few.

"Teal'c is contemplating leaving the SGC also. He feels helpless not being able to help get you out of that block of ice. Teal'c's a man of action and his hands are tied, and you've worn off on him, since he has little patience with anyone or anything. He thinks he's failed you by not keeping them safe. He wants to join his fellow Rebel Jaffa off world to fight against the remaining Goa'uld. He's running away Jack; he can't deal with what he thinks is his failure to keep you safe."

That did sound like Teal'c, everything but the running away part. I thought he would be the one to keep them together if anything ever happened to me.

"Then there's Sam. She's on the brink of a nervous breakdown. She's neglecting herself and is in an unhealthy relationship. She's losing control of herself Jack. Pete has literally taken over her life. He's making her chose between her career, family and friends, or him. He's turned out to be as big a psycho as Jonas. He berates everything she does. She could do no right in his eyes. He's breaking her down mentally and Sam doesn't have the strength, or maybe she doesn't care anymore, that he's treating her like this. I'm afraid he might get physical with her, Jack and no one will be there to stop him."

That made my blood boil. If he laid a hand on her there would be hell to pay. Just thinking of him yelling at her and making her unhappy made me wish I was there to knock some sense into him.

I looked up Janet had stopped when she saw the anger in my face. I whispered to her to go on and she did.

"Then there's my Cassie, she's losing the family that I asked to look out for her. She can't get through to any of them and she feels like a burden. Thinking it would be better if she just disappeared and left so no one would have to be responsible for her. She's lost ,Jack She needs you. She needs all of you."

Janet sat down next to me and started again.

"Jack you have the knowledge of the ancients up in that so called empty head of yours. Use it find away to get yourself out of this mess."

I shook my head and said, `I can't Janet. I don't know how I'm just…'

"Just what Jack, what were you going to say?"

I looked at her and said, "I feel like I'm in their way Janet. There, I said it. No one wants me around, sure maybe Teal'c and General Hammond, but the rest all have lives now. Did you know that we have been growing apart for the last couple of months? The only reason we're together is because of all the tragedy that we've gotten ourselves into lately. The only reason they came over was because they knew it might be the last time they see me as Jack, not the walking talking Latin library spouting out the Ancients' greatest hits. Sam has Pete. He might not be what we want for her but she does love him, right?"

Janet looked at me and asked how I knew that. I looked away and told her that I had touched her and with the upgrades in my brain, I could feel she did care for him. Janet prodded me for more.

"So if you can read her thoughts then you know that she cares more for you then she's letting on. Jack I've been there when you two expressed your feelings for one another. She does care. Hell, she loves you."

I sighed and told her that I did feel her love for me. It had me awe struck that she would care so much for me. I wasn't worthy of her love, that she deserved someone that could make her happy, and maybe she wasn't giving Pete a chance.

Janet snorted and said, "this coming from the man that nearly wanted to go tear him a new one for almost botching your stake out, and did you forget he had a background check done on her? Yeah Jack, keep telling yourself that. What makes you think you're not worthy of her love? She's right there. All you have to do is ask."

I didn't say anything and Janet just shook her head.

I continued my argument.

"Daniel has his work to get him through this, he's also been taking care of Cassie. so he's her rock, he'll be there for her and get her through this. I'm not so important to her since she's gotten older. I have confidence that they will both survive."

She shook her head.

"So, what, you're not going back because you think there's no reason to?"

She waited for me to answer.

"I don't know, Doc, if I have the fight in me anymore. We defeated Anubis; he was the biggest threat to our planet. I did my job and what do I get for being the perfect soldier and following the regulations instead of my heart? I'm all by myself just like when I started this journey. I'm older and a little more worn around the edges. My knees are shot and I have nothing to show for it. The woman I care for is with another man, and all I have is a career that looks to be at the end and a cabin with a pond with no fish to retire to."

Janet listened to me as I told her of what I wished had happened, but knowing it couldn't.

She nodded and said she understood and wished that things were different.

"What about you, Doc, why are you really here? Did you ascend like Daniel?"

She shook her head.

"No, I could have, but thanks to Daniel, the rules have changed. My memories of all of you would have been erased so I couldn't interfere with your lives. There was no way I would lose my memories of all of you. I cherish them too much, and it's all I have left. So I told them politely to shove it up their..."

I chuckled and said I got the picture.

Janet smiled and said that she was sent here on a mission.

"I'm here to help you decide what you want to do. Jack do you trust me?"

Without hesitation I said, "Without a doubt."

"Good take my hand I'm going to show you what your absence has created in everyone's lives."

Janet grabbed my hand and told me to close my eyes. I cracked if I should click my boots three times and say there's no place like home?

Janet moaned, "jeez wise guy I'm trying to help you and all I get is jokes? How Sam puts up with you, I'll never know."

I chuckled and did what I was told. I held her hand and waited to see what she would show me.

*

Part 2


She told me to open my eyes and I saw we were at the SGC. I couldn't believe it; she had gotten me home. In my excitement I picked her up and swung her around.

"I'm back! Let's go tell Danny, T and Carter!"

I ran down the hallway and Doc called me back. "Jack you're not entirely back, they can't see you or me. I wanted you to see what havoc your absence has caused."

I stopped and turned around and looked at her. She took my hand and said, "Let's go see the General first."

We got to his office and spied General Hammond looking at paperwork. We looked over his shoulder to see they were his retirement papers that had been rejected by the President. Next was my paperwork for my promotion to General. He let out a long sigh and rubbed his face with his hand and said out loud, "Son I wish you were here so I can tell you how proud I am of you. You deserve this for serving your country and for saving the earth once again."

Taking the box with my stars he outlined them with his fingers and I could see he was fighting back tears. "Jack you're like the son I never had. I never got to say that to you and I wish to hell I had. Hold on son we will find a way to get you back."

Closing the box he put the paperwork away and got up from his desk to go back to the control room.

I was moved and Janet reached for my hand. "I told you you're a big part of this place Jack. Let's go see Teal'c."

Teal'c was meditating. Janet took my hand and placed it on Teal'c's head. I could hear him thinking. He was wondering if he could have somehow saved me. He was contemplating where else he could search for the answer to free me, wondering if I would ever be saved from this fate. Knowing he could not leave his friends to go fight with the Rebel Jaffa because he felt responsible for Carter, Daniel and Cassie. I felt the heaviness in Teal'c's heart. Teal'c opened his eyes and went to his desk and pulled out a picture of SG1 and another of just him and me.

"My brother, I feel you near. I ask you to show me the way to free you; we grow weary of this losing battle. Major Carter, Daniel Jackson and I miss your presence. I feel I am losing them. They have started to pull away and withdraw. I can't seem to help them like you do. O'Neill show me the way to free you from this nightmare".

This was wrong. I stepped back and walked out. Janet followed when the klaxon's started to ring signaling an off world activation. Teal'c raced to the gate room and we followed closely behind.

Daniel and Sam were already there and I stopped in my tracks when I saw the rest of my team.

Daniel looked older and worn out. I could see the dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. He held a cup of coffee and I could see the slight shake in his hands. He had lost weight and if a strong breeze came by it would surely knock him down.

I gasped at the sight in front of me.

Sam.

She looked like she was ready to fall. She looked paler and had dark circles under her eyes too. She tried to hide her weight loss by putting on extra clothes and a bigger size jacket. But I knew she had lost lots of weight due to me. She looked like she'd been run over. She didn't care about her appearance. Her hair was sticking out like mine used too.

I left Janet's side and went to stand next to her and tried to touch her face. She turned and seemed to be looking at me, I held my breath but she turned around when the iris opened.

A communication came through from SG3 informing them that they were coming in hot. They were being chased by a troop of Jaffa. Staff blasts started to rain through the gate. The blast doors came down and everyone took cover except for Daniel and Sam.

One blast almost hit Daniel. Teal'c pushed him down but Sam didn't flinch.

I yelled, "Sam get down!" She didn't hear me, how could she, I wasn't there. Another had just missed her when I barked.

"Damn it, Major get your ass down on the floor now that's an order."

It looked like she wasn't paying attention. Enthralled by all the explosions and the staff blasts that where streaming through the wormhole.

Daniel looked up and yelled, "Sam get down!"

Teal'c looked up and was shocked to see that Sam was not listening. She was paying too much attention to the blasts coming through the wormhole. He leapt and brought her down, a blast barely missing her. A blast that would have taken her life.

SG3 came through and yelled to close the iris. I ran up to Teal'c and saw that Sam's eyes were closed. General Hammond came through the room to assess the damage and ask what had happened.

He saw Sam's condition and motioned to Teal'c to take her to the infirmary and told SG3 that they would debrief in 1 hour.

We followed Teal'c to the infirmary and I was beside myself. Janet had not said anything. I turned to her and asked, "Janet what's wrong with her? She could have gotten killed back there."

Janet pulled me away from them and said that she had never seen Sam look so lost. "I think we might be too late Jack, she doesn't care for her own life. She feels like she has nothing left to live for. Come, I'll show you what I mean."

Pulling me through the infirmary doors and we went to Sam's side. She was still unconscious and Janet took my hand and placed it on her forehead.

I could feel the hurt she was feeling. I saw a glimpse of what her life had been like these last couple of months. I felt her frustration in not being able to figure out the chamber. Her anger and disappointment towards the Tok'ra and Asgard was evident in her mind and her inability to contact them for help. I cried out in anger when I saw what Pete had been putting her through and then I heard her whisper my name.

I pulled my hand away and looked down at her she was awake. Daniel and Teal'c took her hands and I started to walk out.

I went to Sam's lab to think. Janet came up to me and I waved her away. She persisted.

"We're not through, you still have to see what your absence has done to Daniel and Cassie."

"No, we're done. I don't want to see anymore Janet, get me out of here. You have some kind of power show me what to do. Help me help them Doc."

She shook her head and told me that I had the answers all in my head and I needed to try to access them.

I yelled at her that I couldn't. I didn't know what I had in my head that would release me from this sleep. That she was the all knowing, that she was here to help me so help.

I was lashing out at her. I could feel Carter's pain in me and I needed to get back to her to stop this madness.

I stood up and told Janet I felt Sam's pain. "It's like she knows I'm here. I can't explain it doc but back in the Gate room she stared at me before the iris open and at the infirmary she called out my name.

Janet grabbed my hand.

"Are you sure Jack? This might be a good thing, we could find out the way to free you from this nightmare and then you can communicate with her and tell her what to do to get you back to them."

I looked at Janet and nodded yes. Hope sprung up in me. I might have a chance to get back to my life with the help of the one person that I saw needed me as much as I needed her. She grabbed my hand and dragged me back to the infirmary.

*

We got to the infirmary and saw Sam being checked out by the doctor. Janet tried to look over his shoulder but couldn't. I rolled my eyes and picked her up from the waist so that she could see what he was writing onto Sam's chart.

Janet read and made comments out loud. She asked me to put her down, that she had read enough and turned to me and said I must have really enjoyed picking her up like some rag doll, and if I ever referred to this she would make me pay with needles that would make even Teal'c cry.

I coughed and said not a word would pass my lips and who would believe me? I asked what the doctor had written on Sam's chart.

"She's exhausted and her body is shutting down on her. She hasn't eaten and they're keeping her hooked up to an IV for the night since she's dehydrated. He's treating her all wrong there's other ways. God Jack where did you guys get this doctor?"

I walked over to Sam's side. She was turned towards the wall and was pretending to be asleep. I wanted to touch her and to reassure her that I was here when I heard a sniff.

I pulled back my hand. She was crying. It broke my heart to know she was in so much pain. Janet came next to me and said to give her a minute she would be asleep and it would be easier to try and communicate with her then.

Daniel and Teal'c came into the room and asked the doctor what was wrong with Sam. He told them exhaustion and lack of eating. He said that he had warned all of them that he would not be responsible if they collapsed after he had told them all to go home and rest.

He said he needed to update General Hammond and he would probably order her home.

Daniel agreed that would be a good ideal as did Teal'c.

I shook my head didn't they know she was avoiding going home?

Didn't they see she was crying out for help? Were they so blinded by what was in front of them or were they afraid she would not like them interfering with her life?

I clenched my fist and fought to let out the curses that were threatening to come out of my mouth.

I needed to get back, if she was sent home he would be there. There would be no one to stand up for her. He would hurt her with his words and from what I had witnessed he might step over the line and hurt her physically. No she would not have to deal with that jerk anymore.

Janet saw the turmoil in my face and I voiced my thoughts. I told her there was no way in hell I would let her go back to him. He didn't deserve her and as soon as I got back I would be paying Mr. Shanahan a visit.

She agreed and we waited for the doctor to leave. I looked at Sam and could see she was finally asleep.

Daniel had decided to stay, Teal'c promised to relieve him in a while and left. He took her hand and spoke.

"Sam, I'm sorry. I should have seen you killing yourself to find the answers to that chamber, its killing me that I can't find the translation that will set him free. But I was so blind to what this was doing to you. Jack would kill me if he saw how bad of a shape you are in. Please Sam I need you to be okay I can't lose you too."

I dragged my hand across my face. I didn't know why I thought I was not needed. There was my proof in front of my face. I would not fail them.

I stood back and watched them. Daniel started to nod off but still held onto Sam's hand.

I told Janet I was ready to try again. I needed to do this I needed to save my family.

She took my hand and placed it on Sam's forehead. She told me to concentrate and close my eyes. I did this and felt Sam all around me. I was in her subconscious; I could hear her breathing and the beat of her heart.

I opened my eyes and I was by a lake. I closed my eyes and opened them again and I heard a gasp. I turned around and found Sam standing in front of me.

She covered her mouth with her hand. I just stood and looked at her. She started to reach out to me but was hesitant and spoke instead.

"Are you real? Is it truly you? Am I dead?"

I reached out and took her hand. She let out a cry and threw herself at me and held onto me as she cried.

I held her tightly. Loving the way she felt in my arms. I could stay like this forever. She was mumbling and I pulled her face to me and she smiled.

"I've missed you so much. I thought I'd never see you again. You don't know the pain I've been through, but now you're here and it's all going to get better. Jack is it really you?"

I said it was me. I asked her did she know where we were at. She looked around and said at my cabin.

I nodded my head no that this wasn't my cabin. She said this was how she had imagined it was and it all became clear to me. This was what was in her mind we were both connected through her sub consciousness.

"Sam did you see me in the gate room," I asked.

She looked at me and nodded no.

"I felt you there I caught a whiff of your aftershave. I was so distracted by this I thought I was finally losing my grasp with reality. But I did see you in the infirmary you were in pain that's why I called out your name and then you left me. I thought it was my imagination. It is you Jack right? Please tell me I'm not losing my mind."

I cupped her face and told her no that it was me, and I was here for her. She pulled me close to her and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I need your help Sam. I need you to help me get out of stasis. I don't know how much time I have, but Janet told me I have the answers in my head on how to get out of this mess."

"Janet? Is she with you? Is she all right? Did she ascend?" She started to ask me and I was about to answer her when she jerked and whispered no.

She started to fade. I grabbed her hand and heard her cry out my name and in a flash I was back in the infirmary with Janet holding onto me.

I looked to the bed to see Sam being woken up by Daniel. The connection was broken when she woke.

"Doc what happen? I was talking to her I was holding her and the next thing I knew she was fading away and was gone."

"Her heart rate started to increase and she started to thrash in the bed. The alarms went off; Daniel panicked and tried to wake her up. What did she say, does she believe you're real?"

"Yeah she believes me. She felt me in the gate room and she saw me here in the infirmary. I didn't get a chance to ask her how she can help me get the information I need to get out of stasis."

The doctor walked in and started to examine Sam. I walked over and heard her cry out my name and not to leave her to please comeback. Daniel was trying to calm her down but she was getting more agitated. She woke up and looked all around the room she yanked off the IV and the heart monitor. She jumped off the bed and started to call out my name.

They tried to restrain her but she fought them saying over and over that I was there she could feel me and why couldn't they.

Daniel asked what was wrong with her, and the Doctor pulled out a syringe and said the exhaustion was making her imagine that I was here and if they didn't sedate her she could do herself more harm.

She ran up to Daniel and asked if he believed her. That I was here and all he had to do was open his mind and I would come to him.

Daniel pulled her into his arms and nodded at the doctor. He gave her the sedative and she started to fall and the last words out of her mouth were my name and pleading me to take her with me.

I watch them put her back into bed and put her in restraints. Daniel asked if that was necessary and the doctor said yes. She could become violent when she started to suspect that they did not believe her that I was real and she might try and run.

They thought she was crazy and it was my fault. Janet came next to me and said it was going to be okay. We'd get through to them. Sam would wake up and tell them how to save me. I snorted and asked how.

"They think she's a crack pot talking to an imaginary colonel. Come on doc, you'd be sending her to a padded cell by now and you know her. This new guy doesn't and I bet my yo-yo that he's going to have her shipped out of here so fast she won't be able to help me get back to her. She needs me doc. Hell I need her she's the only thing worth anything in my life and now I've made it worse, they think she's gone off the deep end."

Janet put her hands on her waist and grunted in disgust.

"No, don't talk like that. We will get through to them we will make them see the truth. Nothing is taken lightly here you know that if she says she sees you they will believe her. She just has to show them something to validate what she is saying. Come on Jack concentrate, her safety is in your hands and if you can't find a way to wake up in that head of yours then you're right they will take her away and lock her up and chalk it up to stress in losing a very close friend. Do you want that to happen to her? It's all up to you, your fate and the fate of your family is in your hands."

She was right. I had to put my doubts aside and really look into myself. What I didn't tell her was that I was scared what I would find. The knowledge of the Ancients was overwhelming and it had almost killed me. It took over me in the ship and one thing I hate is not being in control. It was almost like being taken over by a gou'ald. Helpless and you can do nothing but stand off to the side and watch your self function.

I looked at Daniel sitting next to Sam. He had tears in his eyes and held her hand and whispered that he did believe her, that if she said I was here then I was. He would not let the doctor take her from him. He pleaded for me to come to him so he could help in getting me back to them.

Janet tried to hold back her tears but couldn't. I put my arm around her shoulder and she cried. I comforted her knowing this was just as painful to her as it was to me.

"You see why you have to go back. I can't, God I wish that I could but can't. But you can. Come on Jack our family needs you."

Why couldn't she just show herself to him?

"You can't let him know you're here Doc? He was so lost when you died. He wouldn't admit how he felt but I really think he loved you."

"We did love each other I just never told him. We started to see each other but stopped when Sarah was brought to the infirmary after having Osiris taken from her. He said she needed him and felt it was his fault for involving her in this, that if he never had asked for her help then she would never have been taken over as a host.

"We stopped seeing each other after that and I tried to move on but knew I couldn't. I was thinking of leaving, going to go work at the Academy Hospital, but he came to me and asked if we could try again. We were going to go out the night I was killed. He said he had something important to tell me."

I gave her a squeeze as we watched the two people we cared for in front of us in pain.

I told her I was sorry she didn't get a chance at happiness with Daniel. They both deserved to be happy but now it was too late.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and said "it might be too late for me and Daniel but not for you and Sam. Come one lets get you back home so you two can be together."

I gave her a kiss on her cheek and said yes ma'am.

She pulled me to the bed and we could see Sam was sleeping. I placed my hand on her forehead and waited.

We were by the lake again but I could not feel her. I opened my eyes and looked for her. She was sitting by the lake with a fishing pole. I went to her and towered over her.

She looked up and smiled.

"I knew you'd come back to me. Come sit next to me Jack. You take over the fishing and I'll rest. We can catch up on what you've missed at the base and you can tell me what Janet's been up too."

As tempting as it sound I knew I couldn't do that. I shook my head no and she asked why I sat down and pulled her into my arms. She wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest.

"Sam I still need you to help me get back. We have to make them believe that you are not crazy that you have spoken to me and to let you go to Antarctica to work on getting me out." She shook her head.

"How am I going to convince them you're real? They think I'm crazy that I can see you but they can't its hopeless Jack. I don't want to wake up anymore I want to stay here with you were its safe. You'll keep me safe. You'd never hurt me so I have no reason to wake up any longer I have everything I want here."

She sound so tired and I just squeezed her tighter. I didn't want her to be hurt any more; she had been put through a lot since I've been gone. With trying to contact the Tok'ra and Asguard and having everyone expecting her to find a solution to getting me out of the deep freeze it was a pressure she could do without. We always looked to her for answers, it was what she did fix our problems, but we never realize the toll it took on her. We expect her to always come through and pull ideas out of her butt.

I lifted her chin and smiled.

"I know it's been hard on you these last couple of months. It will get better you do believe me right? You're my only hope of getting out of this mess and back to you and everyone else. I can't do this alone Sam, you're going to have to help me."

She nodded and closed her eyes. She held back a sob; I cupped her face and asked her what was wrong. She tried to pull away but I held her still. I pulled up her face and she opened her eyes and spoke.

"Did you know I wanted to tell you that I loved you when I came to your house? I was so nervous but I knew it was right I needed you to know what was in my heart. I never got a chance to tell you and in the ship you didn't give me a chance either. I was going to tell you I was going to break it off with Pete and if you and I could try for happiness? It's all I ever wanted Jack to be happy and you make me happy."

She was telling me what was in my heart. I pulled her to me and kissed her. She pulled away and had a surprised look on her face and put her fingers to her lips.

"Wow I always wondered what kissing you would be like but its wrong. No not wrong but the rules and regulations the Air Force you're my CO…"

I put my hand to her mouth and came close to her and whispered, "Did you forget I retired? On the ship remember when you were going to profess your love for me. I couldn't let you do it Sam it would have hurt too much to know you were within my reach and not be able to have you. I didn't know what was going to happen to me and I wanted you to be happy, and if I didn't make it I didn't want you to feel guilty for not saying it sooner. I love you too more then you'll ever know. You have made me complete Sam. I never thought I'd have a second chance at love but you've made that possible, thank you for loving an old goat like me."

She smiled.

"You're retired? I had forgotten. I put it in my report that you retired but the guys didn't. We can be together and not feel like we broke any rules and..."

She stopped and pulled me towards her and kissed me again and I didn't stop her it was something I wanted to remember for the rest of my life.

She pulled back and suppressed a yawn.

"Jack these drugs are dragging me down I want to help you, please tell me what to do before I pass out. Please the faster I get you out of stasis the faster you'll be by my side again."

I sat her down and told her what Janet had told me that the answers were in my head. She said of course the Ancient knowledge would be able to set me free. I told her I didn't know how to access this knowledge. She said I had to.

"How are you speaking to me Jack right now? The last time you could only speak ancient remember? You found a way without even trying, you have all the answers in your head Janet is right."

I opened my mouth and closed it shut. She was right how did I communicate with her? She tapped my head and said the answer was there.


She asked me to concentrate and try to look into myself to see if I could try and find something pertaining to the chamber.

I tried to hide my fear and she took my hand and asked me what was wrong. I needed to be honest with her but how would she react if she knew I was scared? I always kept my fear hidden from my team not wanting them to sense this feeling; it would undermine their trust in me I always had to be confident.

I blurted out I didn't like accessing the ancient knowledge. I didn't like how it took over my brain and my body. It was like being possessed by a gou'ald. I whispered the last part.

"I'm here Jack, we're linked for some reason and I will not let you get taken from me again. I'll be here when you go on your quest and I'll be here when you wake. If it's too much for you come back don't play hero and we will try again. I knew that was hard for you to admit but I'm happy you felt you could trust me with this."

"Sam I trust you with my life and my heart. I know I can do this now knowing you'll be here when I comeback. You're the reason I'm still alive you are my life."

She kissed me gently and said to start she was fighting a losing battle with the drugs and she wanted to be here when I found out my solution.

I closed my eyes squeezed her hand and she squeezed it back. I needed to get this done. I had to find my answer and then come out of this. My life had been put on hold for too long and I was needed.

I was needed just thinking that made me smile. I had thought I would be better off as the human Popsicle but in reality they needed me as much as I needed them. I would right the wrong that had befallen my team.

I took a deep breath and started to concentrate. I started to repeat chamber over and over in my mind. My mind responded it came awake and I was taken back to Antarctica to the cavern.

I saw myself against the wall being examined by different scientist. My mind directed me to the opposite side of the wall. I reached out to it and a panel came out of the wall I turned to see if any one could see it. Dr. Lee walked right by me and did not acknowledge the panel. I looked at it and it the control panel was in ancient. I chuckled, it said off and on and a word I had deciphered as saying 'defrost'.

I had found my solution it had been in the cavern all this time I was as good as home and all I needed to do was get back to Sam to tell her the good news.

I started to leave but was stopped. The knowledge was becoming overwhelming I needed to get out before it over took me. I started to see images and writings and diagrams. I tried to stop it from over taking me but it held me in its grip. I was losing control. The darkness was consuming me. I reached out to try and lift myself out of the darkness. I started to thrash about. I was lost I had found my answer but would be too late to help myself.

*

I was drowning in the knowledge that was inside my brain. I was losing my battle when I heard her voice calling to me. I looked around but saw nothing. I want to call out but no words came. I heard my name and turn to see the distant ray of light.

I started to run towards it. Light was good. The closer I got the louder her voice got. She was pleading with me to come to her. I didn't respond just kept running towards the light.

Her voice was strained she keep calling out to me. I was almost to her when I felt someone grab my hand and pull me to the light.

I opened my eyes to find me on top of her and holding her hand.

"Jack? Jack, are you okay? Please say something you're scaring me."

Two very frightened blue eyes waited for me to respond. I let out the breath I was holding and rested my head on her chest. I was safe she had guided me from the dark to the light.

I disentangled myself from her and she was next to me caressing my face and asking me to please talk to her.

"I'm fine just almost lost it. You saved me Sam you helped me through the darkness. You were my beacon of light."

She gathered me into her arms and soothed my back. She said she would always be here for me. I held on to her knowing she was telling me the truth. Once I was back with her nothing would stand in our way of being together. We both knew this. I pulled back and cupped her face and kissed her. She pulled me down with her and we started to let our hands roam.

This felt so right like it was meant to be. I started to pull away but she wouldn't let me. She snuck her hand under my shirt and I groaned to feel her touch my bare skin with her hand. I reached under her shirt and she hissed when I brushed her skin with my hand.

I stopped and asked her if this was what she wanted; she pulled her shirt off of herself and did the same to me. She said she wanted this more then life itself.

"I love you. I've always loved you. Pete was a mistake that I will remedy as soon as I have you back. Please Jack make love to me."

That's all I needed to hear. She loved me? When had this happened? I had loved her since she had kissed me in the locker room ruining me from ever trying to establish any type of normal relationship with any other woman. She loved me. Sweet!

I kissed her and said okay. She started to undress and all I could think about was I couldn't wait till I was truly home.

It was mind blowing. I was lying next to the woman that had saved my life countless times and we had just made love. Not sex, this was love. It was an intense experience and my body was still tingling.

She stirred in my arms and I kissed her shoulder. She opened her eyes and smiled thinking it had all been a dream. I told her no but we were still in her subconscious and we needed to get back.

"Jack did you find your solution?"

I smiled and said yes that the answer was back in Antarctica. I had found a panel that held the controls to unfreeze me. I went into detail where the panel was and what the buttons said. She listened intently and I could see her making mental notes.

"Then what are we waiting for. I want you back by tomorrow night. I can't believe you're coming home to me."


I looked at her and kissed her cheek and murmured, always.

We dressed and kissed and finally finished getting ready to leave her subconscious.

"I'll be there with you Sam. This next part is up to you. You're going to have to make them believe you are not crazy."

"I can do this Jack knowing you will be there when this is all over, I will get you out I promise and then we can finally be together. I'll retire I just want to know you'll be there that's all I want."

"We'll talk about this when I get back l love you and I'll be here for you. You are my life now and now that I've tasted your lips felt your skin next to mine heard you moan and heard you scream..."

"Jack stop, you're making me blush and I wasn't the only one that was vocal. I never knew you could say my name that fast and I never pegged you for a screamer."

I held her hand and kissed it.

I asked if she was ready. She pulled me to her and kissed me lightly on the lips then nodded yes.

She said the drug was no longer keeping her there that she would be able to wake. I nodded to her and said I would be waiting for her. She smiled and I held her hand. She started to fade and I felt an emptiness grip me. I reached out for her one last time but she was gone.

*

I woke up to find myself back in the infirmary. Janet was there next to Daniel who had fallen asleep. She was caressing his check and brushing away the hair on his forehead.

I was going to speak when Sam stirred. Janet jumped back when Daniel grasped Sam's hand and called out to her.

Sam woke up slowly and tried to get her bearings. She looked around the infirmary. She was looking for me.

"Sam are you okay? God I was so worried about you. Ah Sam what are you looking for?" Daniel asked.

She sat up and squeezed Daniel's hand.

"Daniel I know how to get him out of stasis. He told me. Daniel he's coming home."

Daniel was stunned and speechless. Janet looked at me and smiled and I pulled her into a hug.

"You did it Jack you found a way to get your behind back home. Oh I'm so proud of you!"

Daniel was still not responding and Sam got off the bed pulled off her IV's, went to the phone and called General Hammond to please come down to the infirmary.

Janet started to ask me questions about how we had found my way out. I wasn't paying attention. I was just following Sam back to the bed, trying to seek me out. Daniel had finally gotten his voice back and started to ask question after question.

She was going to get me home it would be a matter of hours less then a day that I would be among the living once more.

General Hammond appeared, as did Teal'c and the doctor.

Daniel grabbed Sam's hand and whispered to her.

"Sam how could you have figured it out. We have gone through that whole cavern and we haven't found anything to indicate that the key is there."


I went to stand next to Sam, she closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her lips and whispered my name. She could feel me close by. I caressed her face.

She smiled and turned to them. She took a deep breath, and asked them if they trusted her?

They all nodded yes.

She started to explain how she had gotten the answer of unlocking me from stasis. She told them about feeling me in the gate room. Seeing me in the infirmary and actually speaking to me in her mind.

The doctor thought she was nuts and advised them to send her to the nearest mental institution since she had lost all touch with reality.

"Major Carter is living in a fantasy and you are all contributing to this, I am concerned for her mental state and I will not be responsible."

I was so going to kick his ass when I got back to the land of the breathing. I couldn't wait to walk into the room and ask him who was crazy and that he was a sorry excuse for a doctor.

Daniel stood up for her. He said no, she was not nuts.

That she would not lie about my life, if she had said she had seen me then it was true. Teal'c defended her also and claimed to have felt my presence earlier but did not want to give the rest of his friends hope.

Janet came close to me and we held our breath it was all up to the general.

They all turned to General Hammond.

I whispered, "Come on George, Carter never lied to you why would she start now? I wish I could appear so she wouldn't have to face this alone."

"Have faith in our family, Jack. They will come through we've believed weirder things."

The General took Sam's hand and spoke.

"Major Carter you're telling me that you have been in contact with Colonel O'Neill and he told you how to get him out of stasis?"

Sam nodded yes. "I know how to get him back home sir. Please let me go to Antarctica. If I'm wrong you can relieve me of duty and I'll go get help for talking to imaginary colonels."

The doctor objected again saying she was in no condition to travel that the strain of not finding the answers might push her over the edge.

Daniel said he would go with her and Teal'c said he would make sure she would not step close to any ledges so she would not go over.

I chuckled. T had a way of interpreting words.

"Well sir, do we have a go?" Sam asked.

General Hammond turned to the doctor.

"Doctor I understand your concern and I will note it down that you were against Major Carter going. SG1 you definitely have a go bring back the colonel. It's been too quiet around here."

I let out a whoop and twirled Janet around.

"I'm going home. Thanks doc, I couldn't do this with out you."

We watched as Daniel helped Sam off the bed and Teal'c led them to the commissary. He was making sure they ate before going. Sam said she was not hungry, but Teal'c said he would call General Hammond and call the whole thing off.

Sam rolled her eyes and muttered "yes dad".

"SamanthaCarter I am not your father. Your father is JacobCarter host to Selmac. DanielJackson is it wise for Major Carter to accompany us on this mission she thinks I am her father?"

Sam started to laugh, as did Daniel. Everyone turned to watch them try to catch their breath and fail miserably. Teal'c raised an eyebrow and Daniel finally calmed down enough to explain to Teal'c why they were laughing.

I smiled. It was good to see her laugh. All the tension on her face was gone and her smile was back. She still looked tired, but she had her spark back.

General Hammond came to find them and informed them that their transportation would be leaving within the hour. Sam got up and Teal'c nodded his head no. She sat back down finished her soup and showed him the empty bowl.

"I'm going to go get my stuff and I'll meet you by the elevator in 10 minutes."

Daniel said he wanted to get his camera and stuff and Teal'c said he would be waiting by the elevator.

I followed Sam to her lab. She walked in and closed the door. She leaned on it and whispered, "You're almost home Jack just a little longer and you'll be back with me. I was so scared that they wouldn't believe me and I would have had to hijack the ship. Hold on sweetheart, I'm coming to bring you home."

I wanted to hold her so badly but I could wait. We had our whole lives in front of us.

She gathered her laptop and her jacket. She turned off the lights and ran to the elevator.

Daniel was already there and they filed into the elevator. I was her shadow never letting her out of my sight. I could see her looking around to see if she could see me. Daniel caught her eye and asked, "Sam is Jack here with us now?"

"I don't know, Daniel. I can only see him when I'm unconscious but he's well and just wants to come home."

"Indeed. O'Neill must dislike not being able to leave that ice prison but we will free him and we will have our friend and brother back to fight another day."

Sam smiled and agreed.

"Yeah I miss him more then words could say and I want to apologize to both of you for not letting you help me with my problems and grief. I'm sorry guys but I didn't know how to deal with his loss."

Daniel pulled her into his arms and said that he was sorry for not noticing how much losing me had affected her.

"We need him so much. Not just us but the whole base. Like he says no one gets left behind and we're finally bringing him home Sam and its all thanks to him. Leave it to Jack to rescue himself."

I was overwhelmed with what was said about me. They were my family and I had thought I was not needed. How wrong I was. I would make sure I let each one of them know how important they were in my life. That would be the first thing I would do.

They arrived at the site and were greeted by Dr. Weir. She was surprised to see Carter thinking the doctor would not allow her to come along. Carter said she had the key to unlocking me from my deep freeze. She was ecstatic and called them over to a table to hear the details. I listened into what was being said and realized someone was missing.

Where was Janet?

I looked around. She was with me on the base and when we boarded the plane but was gone now. I closed my eyes but could not feel her. She wouldn't have left me. Would she now that I was almost home?

I was going to go look for her when she appeared next to me.

I asked her where she had been.

She looked like she had been crying. I pulled her away from the others and wiped away her tears.

"Doc, what's wrong? I thought you wanted me to get back home? I'll miss you. Hell we all miss you but you helped me get back to our family and I'll never forget this. I'll tell Daniel that you are always close by, Cassie that you are her guardian angel and everyone else that you helped me get home."

The pain in her eyes was unbearable. I grabbed her and asked her to please talk to me.

"Jack I'm happy you're going home but there's one draw back that I was just told about. Jack once you're out of stasis you will not remember anything you have heard, seen or done. You won't have any memories of me or of how you got out of this mess. It will be wiped clean."

I closed my eyes and nodded my head no. I couldn't forget, it would kill Sam knowing I would not remember what we had shared in her mind. The feel of her lips on my skin, the caresses we shared or her lips on mine. The whispered promised we made when we finally came together as one. All would be gone.

I let her go and said it wasn't going to happen.

Janet looked devastated and nodded her head.

"I'm sorry, Jack. It has to be this way or you can't go back."

I wanted to hit something, I screamed no and Janet just hung her head and whispered sorry.

"Janet, I can't go back and not remember anything. This will destroy her you don't understand. I need to remember I don't want to forget what we shared and if I go back with out any knowledge of what happened between us... Janet we made promises. We..."

Janet pulled and turned me around.

"What exactly happen between you two? Jack I thought you just showed her how to get you out of stasis? Why do I have a feeling you two finally confessed what you've both been fighting all these years?"

My head dropped to my chest. This wasn't happening. I was going home, but with no memory of what had happened between Sam and myself.

This would destroy her. Sam's mental state would not survive this blow. It would send her over the edge and even with Teal'c there to catch her it was not going to help.

Janet took my hand and asked me again what had happened in Sam's mind. She held back her cries and listened to my confession and she understood my pain.

She shook her head and muttered it was unfair.

I pleaded with Janet.

"I've got to warn her I can't let her get me out of stasis until she knows what's going to happen. Janet help me get a message to her. I can't let her think that I don't remember what we shared. This will break her."

"I'm sorry Jack, there's nothing else I can do. I wish I could but the only way you can communicate with her is through her subconscious and she is not going to go to sleep any time soon. She wants you home, and look they're getting ready to go to the cavern. We're too late. Believe me Jack if I could I would change this but I have no power to."

I watched them get into the elevator that would take them down to the chamber I ran and yelled at Sam to listen to me. I begged and pleaded for her to hear me but she was speaking to Daniel and telling him it wouldn't be long that I would be back with them and things would be better for everyone.

I bit back the moan that wanted to escape. How was I going to stop this from happening? I'd rather stay in stasis then break her heart.

The elevator stopped and they got off. I watched her go directly to the wall opposite me. Daniel and Dr. Weir followed her and Teal'c went to stand by me.

She started to feel for the button that would release the panel from the wall.

Janet took my hand and I pleaded with her to stop her from releasing me. She said there was nothing she could do and said she was sorry.

The panel open and she smiled at Daniel. Daniel started to read the board but Sam knew which buttons to push.

I couldn't stop this from happening. I screamed at the top of my lungs and punched the wall and cursed the unseen gods for doing this to me and Sam.

I stood next to her and she whispered, "sweetheart, you're almost home."

I walked away I couldn't bear knowing what she would be going through once I was freed. I moved over to my frozen self and prayed for a malfunction or anything that would stop me from defrosting. I fought back the tears while looking at myself. Looking at the Jack that would wake from this dream into a nightmare and to be witness to the destruction of the woman he loved.

I had to remember I had to if not I would annihilate the only thing that meant more to me then life itself.

The pod lit up. I turned to see her turning the final knob that would release me from my frozen sleep.

Janet came next to me and said she was being called back since her job was done.

I turned to her and could not hide the tears that threatened to fall. She gathered me into her arms and apologized again.

"This was not the way I wanted to leave this Jack. Please believe me if I could I would do something to stop this from happening."

She let go and looked into my eyes.

"Have faith that this will all work out. Trust your heart it holds all the answers. I will be here for all of you. Take care of our family. I'll be watching."

I start to feel myself being pulled away. I turned to her and kissed her cheek and thanked her.

"Janet if you can help me when I get back I'll appreciate anything. Please think of Sam she will need all of us."

She nodded yes and whispered Good Luck & God Speed before disappearing.

I turned to see Sam walk next to the pod it was starting to thaw. I was coming home with no memory of our time together.

I kissed her cheek and whispered I was sorry before fading away.

*

Coldness is what I feel it surrounds me and I begin to shiver.

Why was I so cold?

I tried to open my eyes but the light was too bright. Where were my shades? Okay O'Neill where are you?

I hear voices. It was Daniel's and the other was T.

So I'm with my team that's a good thing. Don't have to worry I'm not in any danger.

Who was holding my hand? It was warm it felt good and it calms me down. It makes me feel safe.

My mind is trying to wake from the fog it is under. I start to put sentences together in my brain to make my body cooperate.

Okay O'Neill rise and shine time to get up and find out where you are and why you're freezing your mikta off.

I take a deep breath and opened my eyes again. This time the light wasn't as harsh I tried to focus. I turned to my side and see a familiar face.

Carter.

She's smiling at me. She picks up my hand and kisses it lightly.

"Jack you're awake," she whispers as she caresses my cheek.

Jack? Excuse me she called me Jack. My brain is screaming this over and over and I have to tell it to shut up.

Okay definitely dreaming here. She wouldn't do that in real life. She comes close and speaks again.

"Take it easy you're still feeling the effects of the stasis. I can't believe you're back, I'm so happy. If the guys weren't here I'd climb into that bed with you and show you how happy I am. I missed you so much."

She was still caressing my cheek I was speechless and my brain was going into overdrive.

I closed my eyes. Something was wrong. Carter wants to jump into bed with me. Yep something was definitely wrong.

The answer was simple. I was not in my reality.

The Major Samantha Carter in my reality was seeing another man dating, kissing, and not even going there.

She had moved on but still held my heart in her hands. So why was she telling me something I've wanted to hear for years and why was she holding my hand and why was she calling me Jack and did she say she missed me and was happy I was back?

She continues to talk to me and explains that we were back at the SGC that the trip from the Antarctica was uneventful and that I had slept most of the way.

I open my mouth but shut it again. Okay when did I go to the Antarctica? And why would I go to the Antarctica? Since I swore I'd never go back there as my last unforgettable visit was anything but pleasant.

Why was I in the infirmary and why hadn't someone turned up the heat in here?

I shivered and she apologizes and grabbed another blanket and tucks me in.

I could so get use to this Carter but the rules and regulations would frown upon two officers fraternizing blah blah blah. I had to get a grip I needed answers.

She calls Daniel and Teal'c over. They are both smiling.

Daniel takes my hand.

"Jack its good to see you back among the defrosted. Things haven't been the same since you've been gone look Teal'c grew hair he was so worried."

I looked at Teal'c and was taken aback. He indeed had a head of hair.

"O'Neill it is good to have you back. Your absence was felt not only at StarGate Command but also with the Jaffa Rebels. Bray'tac sends his gratitude and wishes to see you as soon as you are able."

They started to all speak at once but I still had no answers. I was about to yell when I heard an unfamiliar voice.

"Colonel O'Neill what a wonderful surprise I'm glad you are finally out of stasis. So how are you feeling?"

A woman that I had never met had just asked me a question.

I must have looked like I didn't recognize her because she smiled.

"My name is Dr. Elizabeth Weir, I had taken over the SGC for a brief period of time and I met you at the base. Do you remember meeting me?"

I nodded my head no.

Sam gasped and let go of my hand.

I turned to look at her and she had lost all of her color. Okay, the moment of truth. I cleared my throat and heard a sound. Good first step and started with my questions.

"Can somebody tell me what's going on? Am I in my reality because for one thing I don't know where I am, two I'm freezing my ass off, can someone turn up the heat, and three what the hell is going on here?"

They were all dumbstruck. I looked at each one of them and they had not said a word. I closed my eyes and muttered, "oh for crying out loud."

Daniel jolted himself out of his stupor and spoke, "Jack what is the last thing you remember?"

I looked at all of them and tried to remember.

What was the last thing I remembered? The cross word puzzle a mission briefing and....

I was starting to remember and then I winced.

"We found another ancient repository and me sticking my head in it, and us destroying it so Anubis couldn't get it, and that's about it. So guys what did I miss?"

Carter whispered no and started to move back but bumped into Teal'c.

Why was Carter upset? What was wrong with her? I was at the end of my rope and snapped.

"No? No what Carter? We did go to px whatever and I stopped Danny from taking the download, being fired on by Anubis troops and us getting back in one piece and waking up now."

She looked ill and gripped a chair to sit down in.

I turned to Daniel for some answers.

"What the hell's going on here? Daniel tell me what have I missed."

Daniel looked at everyone and they nodded.

He went into detail what had happen after the download.

He told me about the time at my house, General Hammond's arrival and his announcement of being relieved of command, Dr. Weir taking over the SGC, Master Bra'tac warning that Anubis was on his way to Earth. He continued and spoke of Kinsey's surprise visit to the SGC, finding the address to Taonos and the location to the lost city. He described how I started to let the knowledge over take me and made the ship faster. He finished by telling how I finally succumbed to the ancient knowledge and us finding the lost city, which was back on Earth. He told me about the battle in Antarctica and the defeat of Anubis and the super soldiers. He then told me I had been in stasis for months and I had been revived and brought back to the living by Carter.

I was going to thank Carter for saving my butt again. I turned to her. But she was looking away not being able to look at me. She looked so lost. Did I do something to cause her this pain?

I was trying to wrap my mind on what Daniel had just said but nothing was clear in my mind. How long had I been a Popsicle?

Okay it wasn't going to be easy to remember but I would. I looked at Dr. Weir and extended my hand.

"Hey Doc, I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill and I'm pleased to meet you again."

Dr. Weir smiled and said the pleasure was all hers and that she wanted to thank me for my bravery.

I shrugged and said it was nothing.

"No sir it is something. What all of you do and what you sacrifice here is beyond words. I've been working at the Antarctica with the other members of the SGC to find a solution to get you back. You are an important part of this program and just the dedication of your team and the people here show me what type of a man you are. So please accept my thanks in saving the world once again."

I didn't know what to say. So just nodded and looked at my team. They looked like they had not slept or ate in weeks. I felt guilty.

General Hammond walked in.

"Jack it's good to see you again. How are you son? It's been too quiet here and I'm glad to see my prayers have been answered."

"It's good to be back sir. Just hard to grasp that I've been asleep for so long and to think I missed all The Simpson's new episodes. So sir, are you back? Not to say Dr. Weir didn't do a great job I'm sure she did right? Well..."

General Hammond chuckled as did Dr. Weir.

"Dr. Weir has taken over the Antarctica project there is much to learn there and I'm sure she will be happy to have your assistance. I'm here temporarily till a replacement can be found. Oh and let me give you some good news. Vice President Kinsey is no longer Vice President. He had an illness that has forced him to not take the job."

I smiled at him and said, "sweet."

The doctor and nurse came over and said they needed to run some test.

I blurted out no needles and the nursed rolled her eyes and whispered, "he's back".


General Hammond chuckled as did Dr. Weir.

General Hammond asked the nurse to give us a minute so I was saved for a bit.

I tried to get off the subject and asked when I could get out of the infirmary back home and back to work. I joked that my refrigerator must be growing penicillin and I had been asleep for months so I really didn't need any rest.

General Hammond looked at me and said, "Jack you left a letter with me claiming you would retire yourself once you felt you were not competent to complete your duties. You gave your command over to Major Carter and that has been stated on the mission report. I know it's just a technicality but it is on report so I need to talk to the President. So I take it you want to come back for the third time."

I nodded yes and said I was sorry that I didn't remember retiring again.


He left saying he needed to get back to the President to let him know my status. Dr. Weir said she was happy I was back and needed to get back to the Antarctica to figure out where the lost city was.

"Colonel O'Neill uh umm Jack, I'm glad to know my prayers were answered. It is wonderful to have you back and I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels this way. Your team has worked day and night to bring you back and now I understand the true bond you 4 have. Your motto rings true. No one gets left behind. I would love for you to come to the Antarctic to see where you had been the human Popsicle these last couple of months."

She took my hand and squeezed it and I was speechless as she left.

Teal'c came up to embrace me saying he was please I had returned and would let Master Bra'tac and the rest of his brothers know that I would again fight by their side.

He said he would be back later and left.

Carter got up came close and said she was happy I was back and that she needed to check her lab since everything had been put on hold. She was about to bolt when I grabbed her hand.

I looked at her face and saw a tangle of emotions. She winced when I squeezed her hand and she tried to hide the tears that were threatening to fall.

I needed to say something but what? I didn't know why she was acting this way and I didn't want to have an audience when I found out what crap I had pulled with her. My mind was searching to see if I had done something inappropriate with her but nothing came to mind. I was at a loss.

"Carter, thanks again for getting me out of this mess. You have a knack of saving my butt. I really appreciate it."

I squeezed her hand and she yanked it free. She said it was nothing and asked to be excused. She bumped into Daniel in her rush to get away from me.

I looked at Daniel and asked what I did.

Daniel was at a loss for words. He knew something.

"Okay Danny spill. What did I do? Did I hurt Carter? Did I forget something? Ah hell, give me something here."

Daniel told me what he had witnessed at the house. He said he felt he was intruding when he and Teal'c had showed up. He said that she had come to me when I was in the middle of redesigning the warp drive on Bra'tac's ship and her look of despair when I was frozen.

"She's been working night and day to find a solution she's been back and forth to the site as we all have been Jack. It's hard to see your friend in stasis and not be able to help. We contacted all our allies and no one came. She was pissed even at the Tok'ra and we haven't heard from Thor in a long time. We grew apart Jack each blaming each of ourselves for not doing more. She shut us out but..."

"But what Daniel? What happened?"

He was about to answer when the doors burst open to the infirmary with Teal'c holding Carter in his arms.

"I am in need of medical attention for Major Carter. She collapsed in her lab and has sustained an injury to her head."

The doctor and nurse rushed over to tend to Sam.

He laid her down and she was bleeding from a gash to the side of her head.

Daniel rushed over to her and stopped in his tracks.

"Sam, no not now we just got him back. Come on please be alright."

The doctor pushed Daniel and Teal'c away and started ordering test and equipment to be set up.

I sit up but can't see what's going on. I can tell it's not good. They pull the curtain to hide what they are doing to her and I feel helpless.

Why do I feel like I'm responsible?

I start to get out of the bed. I needed to be there for her I was about to step on the floor when I realized my legs had no strength and I almost fell face first to the floor. I knocked the tray over and made a huge mess but stopped myself from crashing to the floor.

The nurse rushed over with Daniel and says I needed to stay in bed.

I grab Daniel's hand.

"What's wrong with Carter Daniel? Tell me what has been going on now!"

Daniel was about to tell me when we heard Teal'c roar.

This was a first. We both looked to the curtain. Teal'c had never raised his voice only in battle or against one of our enemies.

"I will not be responsible for my actions if you do not cease your complaining. You claim to be a healer? But all you have done is point fingers as to who is responsible for Major Carter's collapse? You can do this after Major Carter is stable. Tend to her now or feel the full fury of my anger. Do I make myself perfectly clear doctor?"

The doctor backed up and pulled the curtain open. He had just pissed off a Jaffa and that was not a good thing. He sensed this and wanted as many people around him when he starting his ranting again.

"I told you people she was on the edge and you over ruled me and went against my orders. She was not fit to go to the Antarctica but no one listened. Well I hope you are all happy her vitals are low she hasn't had a decent nights sleep for months and if she loses any more weight she will be only skin and bones. No I will not be responsible for her deterioration. If my warnings had been heeded this would not have happened. Nurse call General Hammond down here and call security I want him out of my infirmary."

Daniel asked me to stay put but I wouldn't.

"Help me get out of this bed and over to Carter. If you don't I'll do it on my own. Now what the hell is he talking about? Why did she put her life on the line for me?"

Teal'c refused to move from Sam's side she was still unconscious and had been put into a hospital gown and was hooked up to all types of machines. The gash on her head had stopped bleeding and the nurse was putting on the finishing touches to the stitches.

Daniel went to appease the doctor and I made my second attempt to get to Sam's side.

I needed her to know I was here for her. She had sacrificed herself to get me back and was now paying the price. I swallowed my pride and asked for a wheelchair. I didn't want chancing me falling onto her and causing more damage.

I pushed myself next to her and really got to look at her. I took her hand and bit my lip. She was so pale that the dark circles under her eyes were evident as was the hollow cheeks of the weight she had lost.

I sigh and whispered, "Why did you put your self through hell again Carter? Look at yourself the only person that suffers in this is you. If you did it for me then you wasted your time. I wasn't worthy of your effort when I was stuck on Edora and I'm still not worthy of that beautiful mind of yours trying to always save my ass. When will you ever learn, I'm expendable, you're not."

Teal'c had heard what I had said and placed his hand on my shoulder.

He then went into detail on what Daniel was going to tell me.

I was shocked how could this happen? And why couldn't I remember anything?


"She talked to me Teal'c how? Did she tell you how we communicated? What did I say to get me out of stasis? God, I wish I could remember. I know this is important but for the life of me I can't figure out what I did or tell her."

I pulled her hand to my face and cradled it next to my cheek.

Teal'c said she had spoken to me and pleaded my case to General Hammond and the doctor to let her and the guys go to Antarctica to bring me back home.

"She was excited to have found out the solution of saving you and did not worry if we believed her or not. What she spoke was the truth and she would not falter till she convinced us all. She did not have to convince me O'Neill you came to me while I meditated I felt your presences and knew you heard my offering to bring you back to us. You and Major Carter connected in your minds and hearts. This I am sure of. You both have a strong bond and that is the reason you chose her to communicate with."

It started to make sense why she was hurt and why she nearly bolted out of the infirmary when I told them I didn't remember anything from the time I downloaded the repository.

She had thought I would remember me speaking to her. This confirmed to me that something else had happened between us.

I didn't recall and it hurt me to know that I had been the one that had caused her this pain. Something happened and the only one that could enlighten me was lying in a bed unconscious from lack of sleep and food thanks to me.

"How am I going to fix this Teal'c? We can't lose her. It would be my fault. God why didn't you guys just leave me in deep freeze? She would be safe with Pepe, he would have made her happy and you guys would have learned to live without me, everything would have been okay. Why don't you all see that I'm expendable?"

Daniel came up to us and rolled his eyes hearing what I had said.

"You are an important part of our team and this base. You had everyone here looking for ways to get you back home safely so this rubbish that you're expendable is just that. You are not expendable. I for one missed you I'm not kidding it was too quiet and I understand what you and everyone else felt while I was gone. It's not a happy memory Jack. I need my family and you are a big part of it. I'm happy you came back but not as much as Sam. She over extended herself, yes she did but she wouldn't rest till you were home. I haven't spent a night at my house for over 4 months and Sam said she felt guilty that she was here and you weren't. That she thought you were cold and alone and only wanted to be there for you. No Jack, no one is expendable in my family."

I turned back to her and closed my eyes. Her hand was so cold I blew on it to try and warm it up.

Listening to Daniel admit that he missed me was touching but it still didn't change anything.

When I didn't respond he went on.

"Things have not been happy at home for her. She thinks we don't know but we do. Her main problem is Pete. He has been nothing but a pain in her side. She doesn't go home any more since he moved in and even though she would not admit it to us she's miserable. Cassie has moved out and in with me because it was becoming unbearable for her to stay and hear him complain about everything Sam does wrong and she says nothing. It's like she's punishing herself for having a life off base. Top that with the stress here. It finally took its toll. We all failed her Jack, and I feel doubly responsible because I was here to prevent it and did nothing but wallow in my self-pity of not being able to save you. So if you want to blame someone for this blame me."

Daniel wiped the tears from his face and Teal'c pulled him closer to Sam and me.

"O'Neill we are stronger together then apart. She needs us now so we must help our friend out of this darkness and bring her back to the light."

Teal'c was right we would not fail her again. I would do everything in my power to bring back the Carter I knew and loved and would find the courage to ask her what had happened between us during my time with her. I needed to know so that I could fix what I had broke.

General Hammond had walked into the infirmary and I told Daniel to push me over so I could talk to him and try to get Teal'c out of trouble with the doctor.

After assuring the doctor that Teal'c meant no harm and listening to what Daniel had revealed, the general agreed that we would help Sam recover.

"Jack, please come back."

My heart stopped. It was Carter crying out I turned around and came to her side she was thrashing in her sleep and drenched in sweat. I took her hand and whispered that she was safe and I was here. She was whimpering and tears started to flow down her face.

I knew what I had to do.

"Sir, about that paperwork it hasn't been sent in yet?"

"Jack are you having second thoughts?"

"I need to do something and I can't do it while I'm still on active duty. So can you delay this for a couple of days please?"

I still had Carter's hand in mine and I turned to look at the general and he understood why I wanted time.

"I will delay the paperwork till you are ready to return Jack. I'll go and stop Sgt. Davis from sending it out and I will see you later."

He walked out of the room and I let go of Sam's hand and turned to tell Daniel and Teal'c my plan.

Daniel was hesitant in agreeing but Teal'c said it would work. I would pretend to remember what had happened to get Carter better.

Carter started to thrash in her bed again.

We came close and Daniel took her hand and tried to talk to her. The doctor heard the commotion and came with a syringe and was about to inject her. I grabbed his arm and said no.

"Colonel, we need to calm her down before she hurts herself. Nurse get the restraints she wont lay still and she might harm herself."

I grabbed his hand and said, "NO! You will not restrain her she doesn't like to be restrained. If you would have read her file then you would know that. No drugs either. She needs to be clear headed. We will help her get better, but if you interfere, you will have to answer to me, and if you thought Teal'c was protective you haven't messed with me. So back off! "

The doctor mumbled something under his breath and put the syringe away saying he washed his hands of her care and would be talking to Hammond about asking for a re assignment.

Daniel came next to me and I asked him for his help.

"Danie,l help me into the bed."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow and Daniel started to stutter.

"Oh for crying out loud why do you think I delayed my re-instatement. I couldn't do what I need to do to help her if I was still her commanding officer so Daniel a hand here."

Teal'c stepped forward and helped me into Carter's bed.

I tried to get comfortable but she was still thrashing around.

"Sam, it's me stop it you're hurting yourself, and you're pulling the IV out and then Doctor Killjoy will come back and we don't want that. I need you to listen I'm here I won't leave ever again. Okay come on Sam, open your eyes."

Her eyes flew open and she tried to focus. I smiled at her and whispered she was safe and I was here.

She burst into tears and clung to me and cried. She whispered over and over that she missed me and to never leave her side again.

I soothed her by rubbing her arms and back and kissing her forehead and whispering I would never leave her again. She started to relax but still gripped my hospital gown. She nodded off and settled into my side.

Teal'c and Daniel had witnessed the whole exchange and I waited to see what they would say.

I hope they would understand and hopefully my feelings for Sam would not be evident to them. I hope they would think I was just being her friend.

Teal'c said he would keep watch outside of the room so that we would not be disturbed. He came to the bed and squeezed Sam's hand and bowed to me and left. Daniel pulled up a chair and sat.

He was looking at Sam and wiped the tear that fell down his face. She started to whimper again and I whispered to her to sleep she gripped my gown and nestled onto my chest and settled in.

Daniel whispered, "Jack, I think this is the way to get her to eat and cooperate. She's responding to you but what happens afterwards when we tell her you don't remember. Come on Jack there has to be some flashes of what you said to her or how she figured out how to get you out."

I wish I could tell Daniel what I remembered but I was as much in the dark as he was.

"We can't worry about that now Daniel. First thing is to get her stable and back to us. She's not Carter, she's the shell of the person that was bright beautiful and a top notch soldier and it's my fault. I won't fail her Daniel."

I yawned and Daniel stood up and said he'd let us sleep and would be in the next bed if I needed him, I nodded and before he disappeared behind the curtain I told him thanks.

"For what?" he looked puzzled when he responded to my thanks.

"For everything. I want to remember Daniel. It's like everything has been reset but I know deep down in my gut something happened but I can't grasp what went down. It's killing me Danny I have to find out. For her sake and my sanity."


"Sam won't tell you I could bet every thing I have that she won't spill. But we won't push. Okay how about you getting some sleep since I'm about to pass out myself. Good night Jack and welcome home."

Daniel left me to ponder what he had said and what I was feeling. She was in my arms and it felt right. I moved a little to adjust her and she gripped my gown and I grabbed her hand, unclenched it and intertwined my hand with hers. She gave my hand a squeeze and sighed and went back to sleep.

I pulled her close and could hear her breathing and the beat of her heart.

"Sam, I won't fail you. You saved me and I will save you if it's the last thing I do. You are the best thing in my life and it's killing me not knowing what happened between us. I'll be here for you always. This is one thing I will never forget. We'll get through this I know we will."

I kissed her softly and closed my eyes and tried to get some rest. Sam would need me tomorrow and I would not disappoint her.


*

I was running through the desert. I had escaped and was trying to get home. I needed to keep going but it was no use I could hear them behind me coming close but I couldn't get away.

I felt the sweat dripping down my face and cling to my clothes. Escape was my only plan.

I felt hands on me and I started to struggle. I heard a voice and knew I was safe.

I opened my eyes to see her looking at me and telling me I was safe.

I pulled her into my arms and she held me.

"It was just a dream Jack nothing more. We're at the SGC and you're safe."

I was trying to catch my breath and I let her go. I was still in her bed and everything came back to me as to why I was in here.

She had comforted me when I was here to comfort her.

I was about to speak when we heard Daniel moan.

Could we not catch a break? We had been put through the ringer and couldn't even be at peace in sleep. I tried to get up but Sam wouldn't let me go.

"Sam come on I need to go see to Daniel. I'll be right back."

Daniel moaned no and she let me go. I tried to get up but had forgotten about my legs not wanting to cooperate. I knocked the tray over by the bed and Teal'c came in to see what was wrong.

He helped me into the chair and Sam sat up and followed me with her eyes.

I came to Daniel's side and shook him awake.

"No Janet, please don't go", he cried out.

I let him go and looked at Teal'c.

Teal'c shook him awake and Daniel sat up trying to throw off the arm that had awoken him. He looked flushed and grabbed his glasses from the table.

He turned to us and asked, "Jack? What happened? Why are you out of bed?"

He was hiding something but wouldn't look at me or Teal'c in the face. I asked him if he was okay.

He nodded and whispered yeah that he had a dream.

He asked for Sam and Teal'c pulled the curtain to reveal Sam sitting up in her bed.

She looked scared and asked if he was okay.

He nodded yes. I had to watch both of them they were very fragile and needed help. They had been through hell and back and I was at fault. Teal'c caught my eye and nodded his understanding. We would be there for both of them.

That was one thing I could always count on, Teal'c being there to help out when I needed him. I would ask him when we were alone how he was coping. He maybe strong on the outside but inside he hurt just like me.

We were warriors first but we also had to cope with the emotions that raged inside us. I nodded back at him and we turned to our friends.

The doors opened and General Hammond came in and asked how we had slept. We all said okay and he informed us that the doctor would no longer be part of the SGC saying he wanted to be reassigned back to Academy Hospital.

Teal'c smiled and I did too.

"Yes Jack I know what happened last night and I was thinking of having him transferred out of here. He needed to be more open minded like Dr. Fraser was. He was just here on probation I didn't think he'd work out and what transpired yesterday just confirmed what I thought. The new doctor is being briefed and will be here shortly."

I looked at Daniel and he looked away when doc's name was mentioned.

I asked if we could get something to eat.

Teal'c said he would bring down trays for us and we could eat in the infirmary together.

I told him I would go to help him out. I was about to go when I looked at the frantic look on Carter's face.

I closed my eyes she thought I was leaving. I stopped by her bed and asked what she wanted for breakfast.

The General corrected me and said late lunch. I looked at the clock and figured we had been asleep for 12 hours straight.

I shrugged and corrected myself and asked her what she wanted for lunch.

"I'm not that hungry...'"

"Okay that's one of everything and a double order of blue jell-o. Daniel I take it you'll have the same right but pumpkin pie for you."

Sam started to nod no as did Daniel.

"You two will eat or else..."

Sam sat back in bed and Daniel said he'd come along to make sure I only grabbed one of each. The general said he'd be back later and left happy to know his elite team was on the road to recovery.

We were about to leave when Sam spoke up.

"Jack."

I turned around. She was on the edge of the bed trying to get down.

I wheeled myself over to her and stopped her.

"No Carter, stay in bed. I'll be right back."

She hesitated and whispered so the guys wouldn't hear, "I'm going to be alone, please don't go."

I turned back to the guys. They had heard what she had said.

I took her hand and said, "you are never alone Sam. We are always with you. Remember that".

Daniel said I should stay and he and Teal'c would bring us our food. They left and I squeezed her hand.

I sat by her and she turned away. I called out to her and she turned back to me. She had her eyes closed and opened them and gave me a small smile.

She sighed and squeezed my hand.

"You must think I'm silly not wanting to be alone, I'm sorry Jack but I just don't feel like being alone right now. I don't know what's right or wrong. All I know is that your back and that's all that matters."

She caressed my cheek and came close to kiss me.

I stiffened, not expecting this and tried to relax but it was too late. She pulled back.

"Jack, what's wrong ? you said you remembered, but you're acting strange. Did I do something wrong?"

I blurted out, "no its not you it's me I'm still trying to get use to being out of ice. I'm sorry it's just hard to grasp everything that's happened."

She smiled and kissed my hand. My throat went dry and I was speechless. We must have shared more then a kiss and I couldn't remember. Life could be so cruel at times.

I asked her how she had coped for all those months with me in the Antarctica and having to go back and forth.

I was prying I knew but I needed to see if anything would jar my memory and kick start the memories.

She said it wasn't that bad that she and the guys had been up there for two weeks straight till they were ordered back to the base.

"I wasn't happy that I had to leave you there. I tried everything I could to stay but I was needed back on base. Dr. Weir said she'd take care of you and if anything happened she would call me immediately.

"I'm sorry I left you Jack but if I didn't follow orders I would have been thrown in the brig. Those were the general's words to me. I knew he was just concerned about us, but I blurted out over the phone that we never leave anyone behind. He made me see that I wasn't leaving you behind but trying to find other avenues to try to bring you home."

A tear fell down her cheek and I wiped it from her face. She leaned into my hand and I kept it there her eyes were closed and I caressed her face and she smiled.

She went on to tell me how she tried to contact the Asguard and the Tok'ra and how helpless she felt when neither of them would return her calls for help.

"I went back to the planet with Thor's hammer and was told they were too busy fighting the replicators and that there was no way they could contact Thor to help. I told them you had helped them with their problems, had saved Thor and they couldn't spare anyone to help me find a solution? They said they would send someone when they had the threat handled. I told them not to bother since they couldn't be bothered not to ask for our help when they needed it".

"You told them that? Aw Carter I told you guys not to fuss with me. I'm just part of the team. If it was you, then I'd understand, but me no, that was wrong Carter. The replicators are a big problem and they need to be contained."

She looked away. I shouldn't have been so harsh with her but she had to understand that I was expendable while she, Daniel and Teal'c weren't.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Why do you continue to call me Carter? I thought with what happened between us? You do remember don't you Jack?"

I had forgotten about the plan to make her think I knew what had happened between us and tried to play dumb. "I called you Cater? Sam I'm sorry sweetie my brain is still scrambled give me time to get use to this."

She wasn't convinced. I tried to change the subject and asked her, "so tell me more".

She looked at me and I caressed her face she closed her eyes and leaned into me. She smiled and took a deep breath and whispered she had missed me and to never leave her again. She threatened to chain me to a desk so I couldn't get into any trouble. I chuckled and told her that was punishment in itself.

She opened her eyes and told me what had happened with the Tokra.

"Our alliance with them is almost past the point for it to be beneficial for either of us. We don't trust them they don't trust us. I actually went to the high council to see if they would help but they were nothing but arrogant and said their resources were stretched and why couldn't we go and ask the Rebel Jaffa."

I could see the strain this whole ordeal had caused her.

She smiled, "you would have been proud of me. I told them that it was us that had saved them from almost being destroyed. That we had discovered the way to stop the super soldiers with the help of my father and that we had done more these last few years then they had since their war with the gou'ald."

I tried to hide my smile but I could see her yelling at those snakeheads and giving them a dose of truth. God I loved this woman.

"Needless to say they declined to help and I left the room telling them not to call us when they were in trouble."

"Sam your dad is a Tok'ra and they're not all that bad."

She snorted and agreed. "I was just so angry that I couldn't find the solution to save you and it was in the chamber all this time. Can you forgive me for making you wait so long?"

She sniffed and I pulled her close told her if it wasn't for her I'd still be waiting.

"I think I pissed off half the universe but I'd do it all over again just to have you here with me now."

I was going to answer when Teal'c and Daniel wheeled in our brunch.

I pulled Sam into my lap and she held on tight as I wheeled us over to the guys.

They had all my favorites, meatloaf, Tacos ...and Pizza?

"Daniel where did you get the Pizza?" I asked as Teal'c helped Sam into a chair. She made room so I could sit next to her.

"Compliments of the ladies in the commissary, they missed you Jack, and when they found out you where awake they started to cook up all your favorites. Corn beef and Cabbage will be ready in about 2 hours so you better have lots of room left. They're also making a 7 layered cake just for you."

Sam nudged me and said that she didn't know I had a thing for the commissary ladies.

I took a slice of the pizza and quipped that a way to a man's heart was through his stomach. She rolled her eyes and whispered that she didn't stand a chance then. I took her hand and kissed it and said she was the exception.

She blushed and turned away aware that Teal'c and Daniel were smiling and trying not to stare at us.

We ate and laughed and teased one another. It was like old times, but without the beer.

I looked at all of them in front of me and sent out a silent prayer thanking who ever it was for giving me the opportunity to live and be loved by these special people.

Sam yawned and said she was through. I looked at her plate, which was empty but for two crust ends of pizza. The pie was gone as was the two bowls that had held her blue jell-o.

She stretched and said she was going to retrieve her messages from home then take a nap.

General Hammond came in with the new doctor. He introduced her as Dr. Dana Garrett.

She asked if she could examine me when I was done and I nodded yes but only if she wouldn't use any needles. She said she'd only use little ones and had everyone laughing.

Teal'c wheeled out our brunch with Daniel's help. Dr. Garrett asked Sam how she was feeling and she said okay. I wheeled myself over to her bed and said she should check her out. She glared at me and Dr. Garrett nodded saying she had skimmed through her file and wanted to check out the wound she had received from the fall. I smiled and said that was an excellent idea. She pulled the curtain between us to start her examination.

I wheeled myself to the bed. I stood up and felt my legs taking most of the weight they seem to want to cooperate. I pushed the chair back and tried to take a step. I took one then two with no problem but knew it would be a long road to recovery. The doctor pulled the curtain open and Sam gasped.

"Mr. O'Neill do you want me to pull out my big needles? you've been awake for less then 24 hours and you expect to be walking? Come on sir I'll help you into bed before you hurt yourself."

Sam smirked and stuck her tongue out at me. I was in shock and my face must have been priceless since she started to giggle.

I shook my head as the doctor turned around to see Sam on her back laughing hysterically.

I knew she would be all right all I had to do was remember and everything else would fall into place.

*

The doctor started her examination and took some blood to see how I was doing. Sam watched from the other bed. I insisted that the doc keep the curtain open so that she would not feel alone. After she took her sample Dr. Garrett said when she got the results back and if everything looked good I could be discharged and sent home to recuperate.

Doc looked over at Sam and said she might have to stay a couple of extra days for observation. The doc said she didn't like head injuries. That something always popped up days later and she'd rather be safe then sorry. She asked if she could do a CAT scan and Sam agreed.

I liked this doc more and more. She cared about her patients and seemed to have a good bedside manner not like the last doc. I looked over to Carter and she was biting her lip. That usually meant she was thinking and she was probably wondering how she was going to get herself out of the infirmary and home. I needed to step in and help spring her. She had spent enough time down here and needed to get back to the land of the living.

"Doc if Major Carter's scan is okay and she eats will you let her go home?"

She looked at me and back to Carter.

"She needs someone to keep an eye on her and it can't be you you're going to be on the mend yourself."

She turned to Carter and asked, "Major do you have anyone that can tend to you while you're off?"

Carter paled and started to fidget. She said no. I stared at her and wondered why she didn't say Pete would nurse her back to health. I was about too open my mouth when I thought better. I didn't know what had happened and maybe my luck was changing. Maybe she'd finally dump that stalker. I hid the happy thoughts that where dancing in my head and was interrupted by doc.

"I'm sorry. I don't think it will be a good ideal for you to go home. You might have a relapse and no one will be there to help you. So I'm going to have to insist that you stay till you're cleared, and Mr. O'Neill's right, you need to get some meat on those bones."

As much as I wanted to go home I wouldn't leave her. She whispered she understood but I could have sworn I saw relief cross her face.

The doctor went to call the interns to have Carter moved to the room with the CAT scan machine. I hopped out of bed and made my way over to Carter.

She took my hand and said she was happy to see that I was on my feet again.

"Not dancing a jig yet Sam, but give me time."

She snorted and asked to be around when I wanted to try out the jig.

Daniel and Teal'c came back in to the room and were surprised to see me standing.

I explained to them what the doc had said about waiting to see what my test results were and about Sam getting a CAT scan to see if there was anything more to her injury. I told them that we would be here for a couple of more days since doc wouldn't release Carter as no one was there to tend to her and I was not able to watch her since I was in need of watching myself.

Teal'c and Daniel both blurted out that they were on downtime till we were both better and wouldn't mind watching us.

I looked to see Sam's face brighten and she squeezed my hand.

Teal'c asked why Sam could not go home and have Pete take care of her.

She blurted out that he was in Denver working on a case for the Colorado Springs Police and would be gone for a couple of weeks.

She didn't look us in the eye and I felt she was hiding something. Daniel looked at her and nodded and said that it was Pete's loss and to get use to ordering him and Teal'c around since she would not be lifting a finger to do anything till she gained the 20 lbs.

She gasped and said she had not lost that much weight and if she did gain 20 lbs she would have to be wheeled up the ramp when we went off world.

Daniel laughed and said he was kidding and Teal'c bowed his head and tried to suppress a smile. I squeezed her hand and she said she was happy we were all together again.

Doctor Garrett came in with the interns and saw us all smiling and laughing.

"Laughter is always the best medicine and I see its being given in large doses here. That's wonderful. now what's so funny, and if you're making fun of the new doctor then I might have to pull out my large needles."

We all burst out laughing and Daniel went on to tell the doc of what had happened. He explained that Janet used to threaten us with large needles when we would not cooperate and just hearing her now had reminded us of our friend. He volunteered Teal'c and himself to take care of both Sam and me. She was satisfied with that, but only after she got the results for the CAT scan and my blood work would she entertain any ideal of us going home.

Sam said she wanted to use the phone to retrieve her messages and to contact Cassie it had been two days since she last talked to her and since she was out of town she wanted to check to see if she had left any messages to inform them when she would be coming into town.

Teal'c helped her to the doc's office and I watched her from my bed. Daniel was asking Dr. Garrett about her background and Teal'c had come over to give Carter some privacy I still had my eye on her and saw her flinch and press the button on the phone. She closed her eyes again and pressed another button. She opened her eyes and I could see she was shaking. I started to get out of bed and Teal'c tried to hold me down but I pushed his hand aside.

I got up and with all my strength made my way to her. Something was wrong. Her whole body screamed it.

She did not hear me coming or the guys behind me when we heard her gasp and drop the phone.

Daniel came next to her and I got down to her level. She was crying. Had something happened to Cassie while we all this was happening?

I picked the phone and heard cursing and someone yelling her name. She grabbed the phone from my hand and hung it up.

I looked at her as she wiped the tears from her face. Daniel had his hand on her shoulder and I was confused. But it dawned on me who the caller was.

Pete.

Daniel had mentioned they where having problems but the anger in his voice spoke volumes.

Dr. Garrett came to my side and said it was time for Sam's scan she looked up and nodded okay and stood.

She was put on the gurney and I whispered I would be here when she got back. Teal'c said he would accompany her but she didn't respond.

I was left in the infirmary with the urge to redial the phone to hear what the ass had left on her machine.

I whispered to Daniel how long had this been going on?

He said Cassie had told him a while. But had promised Sam she would not say anything.

I glared at him and he said he had just found out and if he had known he would have taken care of the problem.

I was about to speak when the General came in to see the doctor.

Daniel helped me back to my bed and I was trying really hard to keep my emotions in check. I didn't want Carter to be dragged into something that me and Teal'c could handle as soon as I got out of here and had gotten some answers from Carter I would take care of the problem.

I was distracted when I heard my name being called and Daniel nudging me to get my attention.

General Hammond asked what was wrong. I said nothing and Daniel blurted out that Sam had checked her machine and had been verbally assaulted by Pete.

I glared at him again. Did the man not know when to keep his mouth shut?

Hammond looked at me and I didn't flinch. He turned to Daniel who had placed his hands into his pockets.

"Gentleman would you two care to explain to me what is going on in Major Carter's life? She is not here and she will be returning soon so I need to know if this has anything to do with the incident that occurred a week ago."

We both looked up at General Hammond and asked what incident.

"We had an incident 1 week ago concerning a certain Detective Shanahan and our second check point. He got to the second checkpoint because of you Jack. You vouched for him and I gave him minimum access. He insisted on seeing Major Carter since she had failed to contact him and he claimed that we were holding her here against her will and that she would be coming home if she had a normal job instead of going through the gate to fight aliens."

I covered my hand with my face and saw how this decision to help Carter had backfired on me and how badly I wanted to hurt this guy.

What an idiot did he think they would let him waltz down and see his girlfriend? Something wasn't right and I was going to find out what was the root of the problem.

Daniel was not surprised. I tried to read him and he just rolled his eyes and muttered something in gou'ald that I understood. I nodded agreeing with what he had said.

Daniel asked what had happened to Pete.

"Mr. Shanahan was escorted to a holding cell and I went to talk to him to set him straight. He was uncooperative and I had to make him understand that I was more then Major Carter's Commanding Officer but a close friend to her father. He changed his tune and said that he was just worried about Sam and thought that you Jack were keeping her away from him since he is under the impression that you and Major Carter are seeing each other."

Daniel threw up his hands and started to rant that he was a jerk and to think Carter and I would cross the professional lines was ridiculous.

I was on the verge of breaking something to get the rage out of my system, but I kept my cool not wanting the General too see how much this was affecting me.

"Well Jack, why would Mr. Shanahan have the idea that you and Major Carter are involved? I know you, Jack. You would not do anything to harm Major Carter's reputation or career, but if this got out the NID or Kinsey would be more then happy to run with these assumptions."

I took a deep breath and said, "Sir ,nothing I repeat nothing, has happened between me and Major Carter. He is just making accusations that are not true. You're right I would not endanger her career so I hope you trust me when I say nothing as far as I remember has happened between Major Carter and I."

He smiled.

"I know son it's just something I needed to ask and I asked Mr. Shanahan if he had any proof of the allegation. He just stammered and said she would not have stayed away from him so long and blamed you again for keeping her away from him. I told him you were out of the country and that Major Carter was working on a special project so she was not with you. He demanded I let him see her and I told him she was not available. Needless to say he had no more accusations after that and I let him cool his heels in the room for a couple of hours. He left without incident."

Questions were swirling around my brain. Was this guy flipping out because of me? What had she had to endure while she was trying to save my hide?

If none of this would have happened Sam would have been home having a normal life not in a lab trying to figure out an ancient dialogue to help bring me home.

The jerk was taking his anger out on her for not being able to be there for him. Daniel spoke and said that Pete had never liked Sam working for the program and had tried to get her to quit. I looked at Daniel and wondered how he had known all of this and why he did nothing.

I was about to ask when Sam was wheeled back in with Teal'c beside her. I held my tongue and would wait to confront Daniel later.

She smiled and relaxed when she saw me. General Hammond said we would finish our discussion later and I nodded.

Dr. Garrett said the CAT scan was clear and that Sam just needed to get some much needed rest and to gain some weight, she was still weak and needed to have no stress put on her the next couple of weeks.

Daniel and I looked at each other and nodded. We would shield her from her Pete. She needed to recuperate and from her reaction to his phone call she could not handle him.

I wouldn't let him hurt her. She had been through enough and I would be damned if that jerk would ever make her cry again.

Daniel asked when we could leave the infirmary and Dr. Garrett said tomorrow if my test results were good.

Sam tried to suppress a yawn and everyone looked at her. She shrugged her shoulders and said she was sleepy after the big meal she had.

General Hammond said we were in capable hands and left. Daniel said he was going to go shower and take care of some loose ends and Teal'c asked Carter if she needed him any longer. She nodded no and he excused himself to get some sleep.

We were alone, she patted the spot next to her in bed and I walked over slowly.

I wanted to ask her about the phone call but knew it wasn't a good idea. I climbed into bed with her and she wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest.

I closed my eyes and inhaled. Everything I ever wanted was in my arms but I couldn't remember what had happened to get me to this point. She whispered she loved me and I held her tighter and kissed the top her head. I closed my eyes and searched the depths of my mind to see if I could remember, knowing that was the key to everything. I wasn't pretending anymore, I was letting my heart take over and I would show her that I did truly care for her and would protect her with my life.

*

I woke up with something heavy on my chest. I looked down to see Carter still sleeping and grasping my shirt. She was mumbling something and I tried to listen.

Her forehead was scrunched and she was gripping my shirt harder and she yelled, "no, stop you're hurting me" before waking up.

She was disoriented and looked at me and took a deep breath before laying her head back onto my chest.

She was shivering and I pulled her close to me.

"Bad dream," I asked.

"The worse, it felt so real and I thought I was there and I had to get away before he...."

"Before he what Sam?"

She was silent and I asked again.

"Nothing it's the past it's over with and nothing for you to be concerned about."

I raised myself up and she tried to hold me down. I pulled her up with me and gripped her arms.

"What were you dreaming about Sam? Did he hurt you? Why was he yelling at you on the phone and what are you hiding from me?"

I was angry and she pulled back. She bit her lip and closed her eyes. I was scaring her. She was trembling and I was being a jerk by doing this.

I let her go and got out of bed.

"Jack, don't go please, I'm sorry."

I turned to her and took her hand.

"Why are you hiding things from us? Has he ever become physical with you? He is unstable Sam. please let me help you."

She was being stubborn saying she was a big girl and could take care of her own problems that she didn't need me to fight her battles and this battle was over and done with.

I respected her but knew this idiot was not done with her. She did not know he had tried to storm the mountain looking for her. He was dangerous and she thought she could take care of herself not likely.

Daniel peeked in to see me sitting on a chair by Sam's bed and her turned away not wanting to discuss Pete any longer.

I was trying to control my anger but Daniel knew better and steered clear of me.

He went over to Sam and asked how she was doing, she shrugged and said tired but a little hungry. The nurse came in next and Carter asked her if she could help her to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

I turned and saw the nurse nod and Carter left without looking back. I had so screwed up with her and would have to apologize when she got back.

Daniel cleared his throat.

"Okay Jack what did you do because when I left you two yesterday Sam wasn't mad at you and today she's raring to be away from you. The tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife so spill".

I told Daniel about what had happened earlier. He listened and agreed with me.

"She's hiding something Daniel and she won't admit it. This guy is bad news we both know it and what General Hammond said just confirms it. So do we tell her or do we keep it from her?"

"You're right she is hiding something, he's been abusive mental and it's escalating too physically. We can't let that happen."

I looked at Daniel and asked; "if you knew it was getting this bad then why didn't you do anything?"

I saw him flinch, "like I said Jack it was a hard time for all of us when you were gone, we disintegrated as a team shutting each other out trying to deal with your loss and feeling helpless to help. It was bad I let her down I didn't believe her when she said she talked to you in her mind I thought she had gone over the edge. But now I believe."

"Believe what Daniel? I'm clueless here give me something stop talking in riddles because right now I want to hit something or someone. I'm one step from walking out these doors and finding that bastard and teaching him some manners on how to treat someone you claim to love."

Sam had walked back in and Daniel came close to me and whispered, "you have all the answers ,Jack. it's in there."

He tapped me on my chest right where my heart was and I looked at him and he nodded and moved away to help Sam into bed.

I looked at my chest and remembered someone else telling me the same thing.

"Jack I talked to Cassie she should be home tomorrow and can't wait to see you and Sam. So how are you feeing this morning Sam?"

She said she was hungry and felt better after her shower. Dr. Garrett walked in and said my all tests had been done and I was good to go.

"Carter could come home too right?" I blurted out.

Dr. Garrett smiled and said Carter could go also but she had strict guidelines that had to be adhered to or she would be back in the infirmary. Daniel agreed and followed her as she went to write up the guidelines so they would be understood and no excuses could be made.

"So we're leaving this place good news right Sam?"

She was fidgeting with her hands and I came close to her and stopped her. I cupped her chin and raised up her face. She was biting her lip and whispered, "I've got no where to go. He's going to be at the house and you're angry at me and I'm sure you don't want me around. I'll tell Dr. Garrett I'm staying. It would be better for everyone."

I stopped my self from shaking some sense into her. I had to show her that I was not like that jerk. That even though I was angry at her for hiding things from me I would never turn her away from me.

"Stop just stop I am not angry with you. I'm just upset that you had to hide what was happening to you. We will be talking more about this Sam, this subject is not closed, and what made you think I wouldn't want you to come home with me?"

I pulled her into my arms and she nuzzled close.

"I'm sorry I've told you this before but I can't say it enough. Pete was a mistake, something I needed to fill the need of not having you. But I have you now, and I don't need him any longer. You are my life now Jack, and I will not give you up. We agreed we would fight for what we both want."

Daniel walked in and saw me comfort Sam he turned around to walk out when I called to him.

"So are we ready to go Danny?"

"Yup all set you two have to just dress and we are out of here. Ah Jack is everything all right? Sam he did he make you cry again? Because I know this big bad jaffa that can take care of this problem just give the word."

We both laughed and said everything had been cleared. I looked at her and said not everything but that was for another time. I looked at Daniel and said we should tell her.

"Tell me what?"

Daniel was hesitant and I nodded my head.

"You do it, or I will Daniel."

Sam looked at both of us and asked again.

"Sam, Pete came to the base a couple of days ago and with his security clearance made it to the second check point and started to demand you be brought to him. He claimed that Jack was keeping you away from him and that you two were involved."

Sam gasped and covered her mouth. She pushed me away and covered her face with her hands whispering no over and over again.

"He was here? Oh my god he must have been infuriated when he didn't get to see me. I have to talk to him and make him see that it wasn't you that kept me away. I need to see him and try and calm him down. He could make trouble for us. Who did he talk to? When did this happen? Oh my god it must be all over the base? Sir I'm sorry for all of this it's all my fault I should have returned his calls. What have I done?"

She started to cry she rose up her legs and I pushed them down.

I could see the anger brewing in Daniel's face and I motioned for him to leave he whispered he would find Teal'c and meet us at the locker room.

I tried to hug her but she pushed me away, telling me to stay away from her that she had done enough and she had endangered my career thanks to the ranting of her obsessed boyfriend.

"Ex boyfriend right Sam."

"Yes ex-boyfriend. I thought I could handle him that what I thought was love was really obsession. I'm pathetic and if you don't want to see me anymore I'd understand. Just chalk it up to Samantha Carter never being able to be happy in love and my radar of attracting the lunatic fringe intact."

I snorted and said, "you're stuck with me till you get sick of me so lets get out of this place and get home."

She cupped my face and leaned into me.

"I'll never get sick of you silly. You're my life and my future. I love you Jonathan Jack O'Neill with two l's and I will be by your side till you get sick of me."

I hugged her and knew it was right. I had been given the best gift of all someone loved me as much as I loved them and no one or nothing will keep us apart.

*

We made it out of the infirmary and to the locker rooms. Sam with the help of one of the nurse got dressed while Teal'c, Daniel and I went to change in the men's locker room.

I told them what I had found out and both had suspected that Pete wasn't the nice guy he had pretended to be.

Teal'c said he wanted to personally go over and avenge our honors that he had tainted with his accusations.

"O'Neill you and Major Carter have been always fierce warriors and have followed the regulations and guidelines. There is no merit to these false lies and I would be willing to act on your behalf and have this man down on his knees apologizing to both you and Major Carter for his false accusations."

I thanked him and said I would be handling that problem on my own but if I needed back up I knew whom to call. Daniel piped in that he wanted to be included when I went to have a chat with Pete.

We decided to get to my house and then have Daniel and Teal'c go over to Sam's and get some of her things and to see what type of damage he had done. I wanted to go but knew Sam would object so we would tell her they would be going to get supplies.

We got out as Sam was opening the door. We made it to the elevators and were surrounded by Colonel Dixon's and Colonel Reynolds' team. They shook my hand and expressed how happy they were to see I was back and the team was back together.

Dixon and Reynolds caught my eye and motioned to the side I made my way over and listened to what they had to say.

They filled me in on the whole Pete fiasco. Both were upset that he had made the accusations and said no one on the base believed him.

"Yeah the rumor mill before was pretty bad but everyone knows you and Major Carter would never cross the line. You are the example all the other teams follow and we were just as hurt by his accusations as I'm sure both of you were".

I tried to remain calm but I couldn't do it. This had to stop and as soon as I had the chance I would take care of the problem.

Dixon and Reynolds asked if I needed help taking out the trash and I smiled and said they had to stand in line. Teal'c and Daniel were ahead of them. Dixon said his team would help as would Reynolds' team, the geeks in the lab, the computer techs and hell all of the base if necessary.

"This cop messed with the wrong team and we were just waiting for you to come back for payback."

The doors opened and I shook both of their hands and said I'd be in touch. I walked in and stood next to Carter.

She had withdrawn from the crowd knowing they knew what had happen concerning Pete.

The doors closed and I took her hand and whispered to her what Reynolds and Dixon had said. She closed her eyes and bit her lip trying to stop the tears. I pulled her close and said she was safe and everyone at the base did not believe the lies.

We made it to the final checkpoint and I looked around for my truck and remembered it had been months since I had driven it.

Daniel motioned to the end of the parking lot and I saw my baby.

She was clean and I turned to Daniel and he shrugged saying some of the guys had decided to wash and wax it when they had free time.

Teal'c took Daniel's keys and said he would follow, I was still holding Sam's hand as we made it to the truck.

I helped her into the back seat and joined her. She said she was hungry and my stomach agreed with her.

Daniel said he'd get us something to eat but nothing heavy and we left the mountain hopefully for a rest but I knew things where brewing and I had to just wait. Daniel was right the answers were in me and I would find them and hopefully fulfill my dream of being with Sam.

She started to nod off and I pulled her closer to me to sleep. The dark circles under her eyes were starting to fade. The last two nights of sleep were doing wonders and her eating was helping also.

We made it home and I woke Sam up she stretched and yawned and apologized for falling asleep. Daniel said he'd take our lunch inside and I helped her out of my truck. I had my arm around her as we walked up the driveway and saw that my door was ajar. I stopped, saw that Teal'c was with Daniel and went for my gun that wasn't there.

Sam saw what I did and was about to question me when I motioned her to be quiet. I pointed to the door that was ajar and she started to back away and pull me with her.

I nodded my head no and she pleaded with me to come with her that if Pete was there he would hurt me and she could not live with the thought of me being harmed by him.

Daniel and Teal'c came and I pointed to the door being slightly open and I told Daniel to take Sam to my truck and call the SF's this problem was going to be taken care of now.

We went in to find out if he was as stupid as I thought he was, and how much pleasure I was going to get from pounding his head into every wall in my kitchen and living room.

I motioned to Teal'c to check the bedrooms and bathroom and I went to check the living room and kitchen. The dinning room was clear but I heard noises in the kitchen and slowly walked in when the door opened and I was the one surprised.

The screams brought Teal'c running from the bedroom and Danny and Sam running from outside.

I was on the floor struggling with my attacker and all I could do was laugh.

It was Cassie and she had screamed when she had seen me and knocked me to the ground when she went to give me a hug.

That's how my team found me with a very excited teenager yelling and screaming that I was back and me on the floor.

Sam looked relieved and came down to the floor to get Cassie's attention and she looked up and squealed again and launched herself on to Sam who fell back thanks to Cassie's momentum.

Teal'c helped me up and Daniel just stood to the side and watched. He was trying to hold back the tears of watching Sam and Cassie together again and caught me looking at him. He mumbled he was going to cancel the SF's and put our lunch in the fridge and left.

He was hiding something and I would get to the bottom of it. Watching Cassie wipe the tears from Sam's eyes I felt sorry that we had put her through this pain. She had suffered enough losing her birth mother to Nitri then losing her adopted mother a couple of months ago and almost losing all of us.

I stopped and felt a dizzy spell and the words you're all she has left and I'll be damn if she was going to watch her baby cry came into my mind. I gripped the chair and Teal'c asked if I was all right.

Sam scrambled up from the floor and touched my forehead I waved them both off saying I was fine.

I looked to see the concern on Cassie's face. I smiled and assured her that I was taken aback by her over enthusiastic welcome home and opened my arms and she came to me. She held on and whispered she was happy her prayers had been answered and to never pull a stunt like that again.

I mumbled yes and she pulled back and said she was in the kitchen because she was starved.

"I don't know what I was thinking, you haven't been here for months and I expected to find something in your fridge? Silly me so how about some pizza and some Simpson's. I know for a fact that the Tivo recorded them for you."

Teal'c said no pizza the doctor had both Sam and me on a strict diet and Daniel agreed. He said they were going to the market in a bit to stock the fridge with health food. He asked Cassie how had she gotten here so quickly.

"I was already on my way back when you called Daniel. I was about an hour away and I came straight here and used the key Jack gave me for emergencies."

I looked at all of them and thought how lucky I was. This was my family and why did I ever think they didn't need me.

I closed my eyes again. What was happening to me and where did that thought come from. Sam grasped my hand and pulled me to the living room and sat me down. She was concerned as was Cassie. I told them I was tired and really should get some rest. They all agreed.

My stomach rumbled and Cassie said, "eat first then rest. Your stomach is telling you something Jack, so sit and I'll get your lunch, you too Sam. Once you two have eaten, it's off too bed. If you thought my mom's bedside manner was bad you haven't seen mine. Put it this way she feared staying home and me taking care of her."

We both laughed and she got up kissed us both and went to the kitchen.

Daniel and Teal'c said they were going to get supplies and wouldn't be long. I looked at Daniel and he nodded. They were going to stop by Sam's to see if he was there.

Sam blurted out, "To the market Daniel, not my place, understand. I don't want to be worrying about you two. I have to deal with Pete on my own. I can handle him, trust me. He just has to blow off some steam and he'll be okay. He's just angry because he couldn't contact me. Please you two. I know you both mean well but I'm asking you two to trust me to fix this."

Cassie came in and placed the plates on the table and turned to Sam.

"NO! No he won't Sam and we both know it. This is beyond blowing off some steam. He's gone over the edge and I for one am afraid of him. He hurt you, you thought I didn't know. Well, I did and I'm ashamed that I didn't tell anyone. You should hear the messages he left on my voice mail. it's horrifying to hear the hatred he has for all of us. He's obsessed with you Sam and what he's done to your house..."

I stood up and pulled Cassie to me and asked, "what did he do to her house Cassie and how do you know?"

She closed her eyes and tried to change the subject saying she didn't want to spoil our homecoming.

I nodded no and told her to spill.

"Before coming over here I thought Sam might need some clothing and well I went over after I was sure he was not there and went in and found the place in shambles and, and..."

She tried not to let the tears fall but whimpered and held me tighter. Sam stood up and came over and pulled her from my arms and picked up her chin and asked.

"What did he do Cassie? He didn't touch you did he. Oh my god, I'll kill him, I'm sorry Cassie for failing you after I promised your mother I'd take care of you."

They were both crying but Cassie said no that he did not hurt her but what he did to Sam's house and the destruction he had left behind. The pictures he had torn up of her family and of all of them and the messages he left all over the house was frightening.

Sam reassured her that the house didn't matter to her that as long as she was safe everything else could be replaced.

I pulled Daniel and Teal'c over and tried to sound calm but they both were beyond being civil. I told Daniel to call Hammond and tell him what Cassie had said and call the Colorado Springs P.D. to tell them about the incident. It had to be reported it had gone to far.

I wanted to go and find this jerk and hurt him for hurting two of the most important people in my life.

Sam had sat Cassie down and held her she looked up to me and I came to her and caressed her cheek. He would not get away with this.

Daniel finished talking to Hammond and the police wanted someone at Sam's house to answer questions for them. They were inquiring as to why Cassie had not reported it when she had first discovered the scene. She blurted out she was afraid and knew we would be home and I would take care of everything.

"Your right kiddo, I will take care of everything. First things first Daniel go to Sam's and see what they find and ask how we can get a restraining order for Sam and Cassie against Pete. The phone calls should be enough for that. Teal'c you go with him and see what you can find out. We'll wait here and I'll call Hammond to send over some SF's to watch the house till they find this psycho."

The guys left and we ate lunch. Cassie caught me up on what was happening in her life and all the colleges she had been accepted to. She wanted to study medicine like her mom and said she wanted to go to school close by. I was happy to hear she wanted to stay close to home and promised myself that I would make a bigger effort in spending more time with her. She needed us as much as we needed her. Sam yawned and said she wanted to take a nap. Cassie gave Sam her medication and I took her to my room to sleep. The place was spotless and I asked who had done the cleaning. She shrugged and said she had come over some times and when she couldn't she had hired a cleaning service to do it.

"Couldn't have you come back to a dirty house, it wouldn't have been right."

I pulled out a pair of my sweat pants and a t shirt and she smiled and started to undress. I turned around and she called out.

"Jack it's not like you haven't seen me naked before? Why did you turn around?"

My mind was in overload. I had seen Carter naked, and I couldn't remember it. Damn ancient technology damn half-baked brain for not letting me remember seeing her naked and wait, if I saw her naked...

I blurted out, "we slept together?"

Sam came to me in my clothes and sat me on the bed.

"Jack. you're scaring me. Tell me the truth, do you remember anything that happened between us or have you just been pretending to get me to eat and sleep?"

She was too smart for her own good. It was hopeless when I heard a crash and a scream.

I got up and told Sam to lock the door and to call Daniel. She was in shock and said no, that she was coming with me that Cassie needed her. I yelled at her, no to stay put, and to get out.

I ran down the hallway to see Cassie on the floor in the dinning room and I looked around to see were this bastard was. It was going to end today here in my house. He had been above the law for too long and would finally pay.

I checked to see if she was all right and she opened her eyes and gasped before the darkness claimed me.

*

The yelling woke me up. I tried to rise only to find my hands tied behind my back and me on my stomach.

I heard a slap and open my eyes and tried to focus to see what was happening.

I was in my living room floor. Cassie was next to me she was gagged and the fear in her face told me all I needed to know. She made me follow her eyes and I did only to see Sam tied to a chair in her bra and underwear. She was bleeding from her mouth and tears were streaming down her face I looked up to see Pete standing over me and tried to get up.

He pushed me down with a kick to the ribs and came down to my level to gloat.

"Nice of you to wake up colonel I've been meaning to have a word with you but you are never around. Now that I have your attention I know the plot you and the rest of the Air Force have tried to keep my wife away from me. It will stop as of today. She's just agreed to quit and be a full time wife and mother to the children we will have. She no longer wants to work, so you can't keep her away from me any longer.

Like I had to reemphasize to her she is mine and no one else can come between us. Not you, the Air Force, that brat by you or the rest of her friends. She will abide by my rules and everything will be just fine."

He had lost it. He was talking nonsense and I was helpless to do anything.

Cassie whimpered and he turned his attention to her.

"As for you young lady some one should have taught you to mind your elders. I blame your up bringing on that no good mother of yours. She tried to influence my Sam to leave me and you were spreading the same poison she was spewing. So you are no longer welcomed to my house got that you lying little witch, your plan back fired she loves me she just said so didn't you honey you said you couldn't live with out me right?"

Sam caught my eye and turned to Pete.

"Your right Pete this is all my fault but now that I'm back by your side I will never stray again. Please forgive me for being so weak and listening to their lies about you. You're the only man that could ever love me."

He walked over to her and smiled. He cupped her chin and squeezed it till she cried out and kissed her.

I closed my eyes not believing what I was seeing. He was a dead man.

As soon as I got loose I would make him pay for what he was doing to us. I would kill him with out remorse.

He let her go and wiped his face and started to yell at her again.

"I should punish you for not coming home like you were ordered to do. Instead I follow you here to his house. I knew they were lying to me at the base. They are covering up your affair with him and trying to make me look like a fool. Well who's the fool now I'm in control I have the gun and he's tied up on the floor where he belongs. Then to find my wife in her lover's clothes yes I do believe you owe me an apology and you will be reprimanded for your behavior. You're nothing but a whore and I will beat it out of you."

That explained why Sam was in her underwear. Pete started berating Sam again and Cassie nudged me to get my attention. She motioned to her hands that were tied and I looked to see something shiny.

A knife she had somehow hidden a knife and was trying to hand it to me.

I moved to her side and missed the first time I tried to grab it but grasped it the second.

I had to flip over to hide what I was doing. I looked up to see Sam's eyes widen when she say the knife. I flipped over and she turned back to Pete.

He was towered over Sam and she snapped yelling at him that she was sorry... Sorry that she ever was crazy enough to go out with such a lunatic. That he was not half the man he thought he was.

I groan I knew what she was doing. She was distracting him so I could get free. She was ranting at him that she never cared about him and when did their marriage take place since she didn't remember marrying him or taking his name. She went on to say he was a sorry excuse for a man and that she should have listened to her heart when it said that he was not man enough to fill it.

He hit her hard. Her neck snapped back and blood flew from her mouth. He had knocked her unconscious and held the gun to her head saying he was going to stop the influences that were clouding her mind.

I could feel the ropes loosening and felt Cassie nudge me to see Pete coming towards us.

I moved to cover Cassie he would have to kill me before he would touch her.

"Ah touching Colonel trying to save the girl that ruined my Sam. She's nothing hell she was adopted even her own parents didn't want her."

The ropes weren't loose enough and I started to struggle with them. He kicked me off off Cassie and I crashed into the table. I turned to see him pull her off the floor and drag her over to Sam.

He picked up a glass of water that was on the table and threw it at Sam to revive her.

I had to get loose now or I'd fail Cassie and doc would kill me for doing that.

Janet? Why did that flash through my head?

I heard Sam scream no and looked up to see Pete hold the gun to Cassie's head.

I pulled with all my strength and the rope snapped.

My training kicked in my first objective was to get the gun out of the lunatic's hands and the second was to protect Sam and Cassie.

I launched myself straight at Pete. I knocked him down but he managed to pull Cassie and Sam with us. I batted the gun away and rolled us away from Sam and Cassie.

He was enraged that I had gotten loose and screamed.

"You are the reason she's turned on me you and everyone else that she works with in that mountain. I'm going to take great pleasure in ending your life and that brat's. Samantha will pay for her indiscretion with you, she will watch you die at my hands."

He barreled into me. He was stronger then he looked and he pushed me against the wall and started to bang my head against it.

I pushed him off and all the rage I had held back took over. I punched him over and over again and he still came at me. He picked up the lamp on the table and threw it grazing my head.

It stunned me and I stumbled backward. He tackled me to the floor and started pounding on my face when I heard a scream of no and he stopped.

Sam had gotten loose and was on Pete's back pulling him off me. I tried to raise my self but he still had the strength to kick me down.

I felt my ribs crack and thought Dr. Garrett was so not going to like me.

I looked up to see Pete pull Sam off his back and throw her across the room she fell in front of the fireplace and wasn't moving.

He turned and found the gun and picked it up. Cassie had crawled over to Sam and screamed to Pete that he had killed her.

We both stopped and turned to her. I closed my eyes and moaned no. I looked to Cassie to see if she was mistaken. Sam's head was cradled on her lap and she showed me her hand full of blood.

Pete looked stunned and fell to his knees next to her.

He pushed Cassie away and took Sam into his arms and begged her to wake up. He kept saying he was sorry that if she would just have listened to him and did what he asked that this would not have happened. It was her fault that she had let this escalate to this point.

Cassie came to me and I whispered for her to run. She nodded no but I gripped her arms and growled yes.

She whimpered and started to go for the door. Pete saw what she was doing and pointed the gun at her.

"Cassie duck!"

I yelled to give her that split second to get down.

I had to stop him but I knew I was too late when I heard a gun shot.

I had failed Sam I had failed Cassie and I had failed Janet all the women I loved were now dead.

It hit me. I heard Janet's voice, "Trust your heart it holds all the answers." She was right it did.

The mission off world, the ancient download, the time at my house, the time on the ship, the look on her face when I went into ice cube mode, Janet helping me find my way home to our family, the pain my team endured during my absences, the journey into my mind and Sam helping me find my way home. Our time together in her subconscious everything flooded back to me. It was clear to me now my memories were intact. She loved me and never gave up and now she was gone.

I didn't have anything to live for they were both dead and I dropped my face to my hands to try and wish this was not happening. That I would wake up and it would all be a dream.

I felt an arm on my shoulder and I screamed and launched myself at the man that had ended the life of the two women I cared for.

I felt arms hold me back and my name being called.

"O'Neill stop your struggling it is I, Teal'c and Daniel Jackson."

I stopped Daniel, Teal'c?

He let me go.

I looked up to see Teal'c motioning to Daniel who held Cassie in his arms. I turned to see Pete on the floor dead next to Sam.

I got up and pulled her into my arms and carried her to my couch I laid her down and checked her pulse. She could not be dead I remembered everything and I needed to tell her.

I found a weak pulse and I yelled at Teal'c to get an ambulance. Cassie came next to me and pleaded for me to tell her that Sam was not dead.

"She's got a weak pulse Cass, she's strong she'll pull through. Did you hear me Sam please you need to pull through. I remember everything it was all in my heart and in my head. Please sweetheart, come back to me. I need you. We need you."

I held her hand and started to weep begging Janet to hear me and to bring Sam back to me.

*

Daniel came to pull me away. Dr. Garrett had arrived with her medical team and started to work on Sam. How had she gotten here so quickly? She took charge asking me question as to how Sam had sustained her injuries. I told them what I remembered. Dr. Garrett found the gash on Sam's head and grimaced.

The medics were treating Cassie. One came to help me when I waved him off telling him to help the doc that I would be okay.

I stood to the side and watch them as they placed her on the gurney with Dr. Garrett barking orders and yelling at one to call the Academy hospital that she was on the way with a patient that was critical condition in need of surgery and two others that needed care too.

I followed the gurney out to the ambulance and Dr. Garrett stopped me.

I pleaded with her.

"I have to be with her doc she needs to know I'm here."

She nodded but still held me back.

"Yes sir I was just going to give you a compress for the cut above your eye and to get a promise from you if I let you ride with us that I get to check you out when we get to the hospital."

I nodded and she went in first and I got to sit by Sam and watch them attach all these machines to her and hook up an IV's that she needed.

I held her hand and caressed her face. Bruises were forming on her cheek and on her chin. I asked the doctor what where her chances.

She had just pulled out her stethoscope and took a deep breath.

"I wont lie to you sir, its bad two head injuries in less then two days and her body is shutting down she's stretched herself to the limit. But you have my word I will do everything in my power to bring her back. I already called the best surgery team the academy hospital has to offer, they're just waiting for us to arrive and she will be whisked into the OR. From what I read of her file she's a fighter. I can tell she's got a lot to live for. Some advice, tell her sir tell her the reasons she should not give up and come back to you and her family."

Were we that transparent? I didn't care. I promised her nothing would stand in our way of being together and officially I was retired and would stay retired if it meant I got to be with her.

I nodded and started to whisper to her that she had to fight. That I was lost with out her that she was the only reason I came back. She needed me as much as I needed her. With out one the other was useless and that's what I felt. I picked up her hand and kissed it.

We got to the hospital in record time. Dr. Garrett was checking her vitals and ordered the staff to get her into the OR stat.

I followed and was held back at the OR doors. I called out to Dr. Garrett.

She turned and hesitated before letting me in.

"I'm sorry sir you can't stay in here it's against policy."

I nodded but asked if I could have a minute alone with Sam.

"I have faith in you doc but could I just have a minute alone with her please?"

She brought me to Sam and cleared the room.

"Sir you have one minute that's all I can spare so please make it quick."

She left and I took her hand kissed it and whispered to her everything that was in my heart and I promised her when she woke I would be there waiting.

"Please Sam fight for us. We've been through so much and to lose you like this. I don't think I could bare to lose you now after we've finally realize that we need each other and damn the regulations what is in our hearts was too strong, I love you and am not ashamed to say it. Please come back so I can show you for the rest of my life how deep my love for you runs. Please don't leave me now that we've found each other."

Dr. Garrett cleared her throat and I leaned down to kiss her on the lips. She then led me out of the room to wait to see if god would take away the only thing that made sense in my life.

Teal'c was at the door and he led me to the waiting room. I asked where was Cassie and Daniel and he explained that Cassie was being checked over and Daniel was being questioned by the police.

It all came back to me the gunshot Pete dead by Sam's side. Daniel must have shot Pete.

One question still puzzled me. How had they gotten to my house so quickly I asked Teal'c.

He explained that they were on the way to Sam's and Daniel had nodded off when he woke with a start and yelled that they had to get back to my house that we were in danger.

He had called Dr. Garrett, General Hammond and the police on the way to my house.

"O'Neill I still have not asked Daniel Jackson how he knew that you all were in danger. He had his weapon drawn before we got out of the vehicle like he was aware what he had to do."

"Teal'c, Daniel shot Pete?"

"Indeed, Detective Shanahan had not given Daniel Jackson much choice he was pointing his weapon at Cassandra Fraiser and I would have done the same. We are indeed lucky that Daniel Jackson did not miss."

I looked at Teal'c and nodded. How had Daniel known and then it dawned on me.

It had to be Janet. She had somehow gotten in touch with Daniel.

Dr. Garrett came into the room and my heart sank. It was too soon to have any news and I held my breath waiting to see if we would be denied our happiness.

Teal'c rose and asked if there was news.

Dr. Garrett looked at my face and apologized and said no that she had let the surgeons take over.

"I let them do their job I would just be in the way there. But it's still too early. Sir you did promise me I could look you over when we got here so come on I want to see what I get to add to your extensive file."

I was torn. But I did promise her that I would come along if she let me ride with Sam.

She saw the dilemma on my face.

"We will be down the hall. I've given the nurses specific orders if anything happens that I am to be paged immediately. Don't worry sir I got the bases covered. So come on let's get that gash stitched it looks like its going to be a long night."

I nodded my head and got up and followed her to the other room. Teal'c said he would wait in the room just in case Daniel came by to give them news of Cassie.

The adrenalin started to leave my body and I started to feel all the punches I had sustained. My ribs were sore and the gash over my head started to bleed again.

I sat on the examining table and Dr. Garrett started to clean up the gash. She took off my shirt and mumbled under her breath and checked my back and muttered some more. I waited to see what she thought. She picked up the phone to order x-rays and I was about to protest when she raised her hand to quiet me.

"This is Dr. Garrett I need the portable x ray machine to be brought to the OR department stat I need to see if some ribs are broken. Yes, room 214."

She hung up the phone and I waited for her to start ranting at me for letting this happen to me.

"Sir, I hope you got some good punches in for what he did to you, Major Carter and Cassandra. He's lucky he didn't survive. I would hate to see what you would do to him if you were 100 %."

I was speechless and she gave me a puzzled look.

"Did you expect me to scold you for getting these injuries? Sir you were defending yourself and I hate to say it not doing such a great job those ribs look broken you will definitely have a black eye and I still need to see to your knuckles. I understand when things like this happen and can sympathize, but if you ever come into my infirmary with injuries acquired during foolishness I will introduce you to my lovely collection of needles."

Janet had managed to send us a carbon copy of hers and I held back my laughter and winced. She was by my side and I waved her off.

"Thanks doc I'd laugh but it would probably hurt me more oh and thanks for patching me up and helping Sam. You'll make a great addition to our SG family."

She blushed and turned to greet the x ray techs.

After being checked out it turned out the ribs were just bruised and she recommend I did not get them bandaged up since it would limit my mobility but did suggest I not do anything strenuous. She stitched me up and I was free to go. She said she would go in to see how things were progressing and I thanked her again.

I made my way back to Teal'c and I told him about my ribs and the stitches to my forehead.

He said Daniel had come by and spoke to the police. It seemed that Pete had been on suspension for his odd behavior and for filing false police reports regarding Sam.

"O'Neill Daniel Jackson informed me that the police had been aware of his odd behavior for some time and had been concerned for Samantha Carter's safety. They were aware of his being escorted off the base and had contacted General Hammond who told them what had occurred."

"Teal'c, are they going to charge Daniel?"

He nodded no. "The detective handling the investigation said DanielJackson was protecting all of you from a man that had attacked two officers at Samantha Carter's house earlier that morning. O'Neill he was there when Cassandra arrived and if she would have stayed..."

I closed my eyes. How close had we come to losing Cassie. Teal'c finished by telling me that the officers were going to survive and it was unlikely Daniel would be charged with anything wrong doing.

I asked him were Daniel was.

"He said he needed so time and space but if anything happened he would be in the chapel."

I got up and said I'd be right back.

I found him in the front pew sitting with his head in his hands whispering.

I came next to him and sat down.

He looked over and his eyes widen.

"Oh god no, Jack please tell me that she's going to be alright. Please tell me I didn't kill Pete in vain."

I put my arm around him and said there was still no news. He slumped against me and tried to hide his tears.

I waited till he was in control again.

"She's here, isn't she Daniel?"

He looked up at me and had a puzzled look.

"Janet, she's been in contact with you right?"

"Jack you remember everything? Janet said it would happen. I thought it was going to take longer and with what happen..."

"She came to you last night, didn't she Daniel, in your sleep?"

He nodded.

"She was just like I remembered her Jack. I held her and told her everything I didn't get to tell her while she was alive. She told me you needed me to help you remember that it was vital. She said she missed us all and wished she could be here for us but you had promised to watch out for all of us. She told me you didn't want to comeback that you thought you were in the way. Jack you are the brother I never had. When you were gone I was lost and I let Sam down, you would never have failed her like I did. You are the glue that keeps our family together, never forget that."

I choked back the tears and promised him I wouldn't forget. I asked him if he was okay and he nodded yes.

"He tried to kill Cassie I couldn't allow that Jack that's why Janet came to me and warned me that Pete was at your house. She said she might not be able to come back but she didn't care your lives were in danger and she could not just stand by and watch all of you suffer at the hands of a mad man."

We sat there for hours lost in each others thoughts when he stood up and said he wanted to check on Cassie to make sure she was okay.

I told him I wanted to stay a little while longer. He said he understood and would stop by the waiting room to tell Teal'c where he was going and where I was.

He left and I bowed my head and thanked god for letting Janet get in touch with Daniel.

I opened my eyes and said, "or should I just thank you Janet."

I turned to see her sitting next to me.

"Thank me for what keeping my family safe from that maniac? No thanks needed but I'm going to need you to keep an eye on Daniel for me. He feels guilty that he killed without remorse and I do not want him to lose a night's sleep for what he did. I'm happy you got your memories back Jack. Like I said it was all in your heart."

I agreed with her.

"It all came back to me when I thought I had lost Sam it flooded my senses and I thought my heart would burst.

"So now what doc, how much trouble are you in with the glowy people for interfering?"

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "It was all worth it I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Jack he loved me. Daniel told me he loved me and promised me that he would take care of Cassie. That's all that matters to me. They can't hurt me my family is safe and the man I loved, loved me too."

"I would have done the same thing. I just wish..."

She shushed me and said what was done was done and that living in the past never solved anything.

The doors opened and I turned to see Dr. Garrett. I grasped her hand and she squeezed it back.

"Sir, the surgery is over and they did find swelling in the brain but they were able to decrease it. The next 24 hours are critical but her vitals are strong and she is responding to the medication given to her. I wouldn't be surprised if she wakes before then. It looks pretty promising so if you want to see her I can give you 2 minutes."

I picked her up and swung her around and ran out the door she was laughing when I remembered I didn't know where Sam was. She led me to the recovery room and I walked in.

She was hooked up to different monitors and they had shaven her head and her head was bandaged. Her face was swollen her lip cut and her neck had bruising.

I caressed her face and whispered to her. "Oh you're not going to be a happy camper when you wake up sweetie. But you're good looking with and without hair. You're safe and you came back to me. Thank you Sam for not giving up."

"Janet are you still here?"

I looked up to see Janet across from me.

"Right here Jack just wanted to make sure Sam was going to be okay."

I pointed at the chart and she nodded her head no.

"This doctor is a keeper Jack. She knows what she's doing and will keep you and all of you guys on your toes. She's perfect for the program. She cares."

I agreed with her and she placed her hand on Sam's shoulder.

"She'll be fine Jack, trust me I know."

"Always doc"

I got up and hugged her.

"Remember to tell her everything and not wait life's too short you two have been through it all and survived."

"So doc are you going to be around?"

She nodded her head no and said she was being called back. She took my hand and asked me to take care of everyone especially Daniel since he would need the most attention. I told her I would and she kissed my cheek.

"Well Jack I think this is it, Daniel said he'd put a good word in with Oma but I think I pretty much broke every rule that was put out there. I don't care. I didn't want to be an ancient and they told me you needed help so I improvised."

I smiled and nodded.

"Take care Janet you'll be in my thoughts and prayers."

She walked away and I whispered, "Godspeed Janet."

She turned, smiled and whispered "Godspeed and Good luck Jack."

*

Epilogue

She was trying to get my attention. But I still pretended to be asleep. I could feel her hair tickling my nose as she placed her head on my chest.

Her hand was over my heart and she then moved her head down on to my chest.

I tried to hide my smile and laid still.

I heard her sigh and get up. The bed dipped and I heard footsteps going into the living room.

I turned around I had gotten home late after working 24 hours straight and had collapsed into bed.

I knew she'd be back to try and wake me. She missed me as much as I had missed her. I smiled and turned around and looked up at the ceiling and sent out a prayer of thanks that we had finally gotten every thing we wanted.

I had almost lost her but thanks to Janet my guardian angel everything had turned out fine.

Janet was right. Sam did wake up and searched my face to see if I was still pretending to remember.

I recalled telling her how happy I was that she was safe and that I had remembered everything. From the time at my house to the time we spent in her subconscious.

She started to tear up and I caressed her cheek and told her we would no longer be apart. That I loved her and nothing or no one would keep us apart.

She gasped and looked around the room she whispered Cassie and I calmed her fears telling her she was fine we were all fine.

Her face was relieved but then looked at me. She wanted to know what had happened to Pete.

I told her what had happened after Pete had thrown her off his back. I recounted how Daniel had saved us and that Pete would no longer be bothering her.

She started to blame herself saying she should have broken it off with him after the Osiris episode. She should have followed her instincts and knew he was as controlling as Jonas.

I told her to stop that it wasn't her fault that he had made the choices that ended his life.

She recovered as did Cassie and I whisked them all away to my cabin to recuperate. Daniel and Teal'c came along also needing the much needed rest and relaxation. We bonded again and renewed our ties, it was time well spent.

I remembered waking up one morning with Sam next to me her hair had started to grow back and she still insisted on wearing my green cap. It had been two weeks since I had been defrosted and I sat up in bed and started to get up to start breakfast.

General Hammond had called the night before and asked when I would be returning to active duty. I told him I wasn't. That I would stay retired to have what I had now. He said the President had been in constant contact with him and would not be happy with my answer.

I told him I would not go back to the way things were. I had Sam in my life and I would not give her up. He said he was happy I had found my peace and that we deserved this happiness.

He called back with an offer I could not refuse my promotion to Brigadier General in charge of the SGC and Sam under the command of General Hammond so we could be together. I told him I'd call him in the morning with my answer.

She stirred and woke up with a smile on her face. I would never tire of waking next to her and hope she would never tire of me neither.

I gave her a kiss and said I wanted to start breakfast. I got up to go to the rest room and nonchalantly asked what she was doing Saturday.

She shrugged and said nothing. I pulled the ring out of my pocket left in on the dresser and said good because we were getting married on Saturday. I hid in the bathroom and waited.

I heard a gasp and her running to the dresser and a squeal. She started pounding on the door and I opened it.

She jumped into my arms and screamed yes over and over again.

Daniel, Cassie and Teal'c came running in and saw us. Sam turned to them and showed them the ring. Cassie screamed and came to give me a hug as did Teal'c and Daniel.

We got married by my pond with General Hammond and our family by our side.

That was three years ago and I lay here in bed thinking of the one person that made this possible.

I always wondered what had happened to Janet but knew deep down she was around us. When things at the SGC got hairy they would always clear at the last minute. I knew it was her performing her magic and bending the rules for us.

I hear the footsteps again and wait to see her walk back in.

She sees that I'm awake and jumps into bed with a squeal.

"Daddy you're awake!!"

"Janet Catherine O"Neill what have I told you about jumping on your father before he's awake? Young lady you are going to give him a heart attack."

My beautiful wife is at the door looking at me as I hold our daughter over me throwing her up and catching her. I bring her to my chest and hug her and kiss her forehead.

"Mommy daddy was awake when I came in and I haven't seen him in so long and I know you missed him too mommy you called out his name last night loudly."

Sam blushed and I smirked remembering that I hadn't been that tired when I had gotten home but after climbing into bed and getting reacquainted with my wife well...

Jeez these walls were thin and Janet was just too smart for her own good.

Sam came over to sit with us and kissed us both, saying breakfast was ready and to come and eat before it got cold. Janet scrambled off the bed and turned at the door

"Come on daddy we have a long day in front of us. You're taking me to the zoo and then to go get my new puppy. So come on sleepy head get up and get dressed."

Sam chuckled and I shook my head.

"I swear she's as bossy as doc was, she's been reincarnated into my daughter."

Sam took my hand and placed it on her stomach.

"So this one is going to take after whom?"

I shrugged and pulled her into bed with me and started to kiss her.

We were pre-occupied when we heard a sigh at the door.

"Oh for crying out loud mommy and daddy there is time for that later."

We turned and looked at our pride and joy and I whispered, 'yeah plenty of time."

End.




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DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]
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