"No, no, look, if you do that..."
"Jonas."
"Oh. Sorry. That counts as being irritating, doesn't it?"
"It certainly does."
Jack frowned into his sleeping bag. The whispered conversation was doing exactly the opposite it had apparently intended: it was waking him up.
"Sam, really, I don't think you should..."
"Jonas."
"Right, right. I'm sorry. Not a word."
Slowly, Jack dragged his wrist into view to look at his watch. Half past five - ooh, a good three hours sleep. There was no way he was waking up now.
Pushing his face back into the sleeping bag, he tried to drown out the noise.
"I'm sorry to do this, Sam, but..."
"Oh."
"Tell you what, we can go back..."
"No, no, that's fine."
"Are you sure? It's not really fair."
"Of course it's fair, Jonas. Just shut up and take your turn."
What the hell were they doing? Jack wondered sleepily. No, he didn't want to know. He wanted to go back to sleep. Go. Back. To. Sleep.
"I'm really glad you taught me how to do this."
"Oh yeah. Me too. Just thrilled."
Jack almost grunted. When she put her mind to it, Carter did the best sarcasm. He smiled into his sleeping bag helplessly.
"You're not being serious, are you?"
"No."
"Oh."
"Sorry."
"No, no, that's okay."
There was silence for a little while and Jack's brain stopped trying to comprehend what they were talking about. He sighed and his mind started to drift towards sleep once again.
"You *bastard*."
His eyes pinged open. Carter? Swearing? Carter *swearing*?
Those words *so* did not belong in a sentence together.
"MajorCarter, are you well?"
Huh. Just what he'd been thinking.
"Oh, hey, Teal'c. No, I'm fine. It's nothing. Go back to meditation."
Judging from the silence, Teal'c had been assured Carter was fine and had done as she'd suggested. But Jack was now almost completely awake and he was just dying to know what was going on behind him. Unfortunately, he knew that if he made his waking state clear, whatever was happening would stop. Carter would revert to Major mode and this would stop being entertaining.
So maybe if he just lay there...
"Sorry, Sam."
"Would you *stop* apologizing?"
"Right. Okay. Um... Sam?"
"If you're about to offer me any suggestions I'm gonna shove my P-90 so far..."
Jack bit down on some material, trying not to laugh.
"No! No!," Jonas interrupted hurriedly. "There's this bug in your hair, that's all. Here, look. It's kinda cute, isn't it?"
"It's a bug."
"But it's pink."
"Jonas. Put. The bug. *Down*."
"Yes, Sam."
Hell, they were practically a comedy duo. One of these days he oughta bring a tape recorder or something. Be great for blackmail purposes. The Christmas party. Putting over the PA system on her birthday.
"Hey, you did that on purpose."
"Did what?"
"Go back and take your turn properly. I won't have you making this easier for me."
"I didn't do anything..."
"I'm warning you..."
Jonas muttered something that Jack didn't catch.
"What did you say?"
Apparently Carter didn't catch it either.
"Nothing."
"*Fine*"
Man, Jack had never consciously noticed this before, but Carter was scary.
There was more silence again. Clearly, whatever it was that they were doing required some serious thought. He suspected it was some kind of game. Checkers or something. Chess, maybe. Carter had that chess board, after all, though he only got to see it in the infirmary when they were both suffering after a disastrous mission.
And, by the sound of it, Jonas was kicking her ass.
Screw the tape recorder - next time he was bringing a video recorder. This was *priceless*.
"Right - that better for you?"
Was... was *Jonas* being sarcastic now?
"Yes. That's better."
"Can I make a small suggestion?"
"No!"
"Sam, really, you're obviously not enjoying this..."
"Only because you keep on talking!"
"I've seen you and the Colonel play in the infirmary. You talk with him."
"Yes. That's different."
"Why? Because it's the Colonel?"
"Essentially, yes."
Jack's ears were straining, desperate to not miss a word of what was being said. It had been fun before. Now it was interesting.
"When are you going to teach me lock picking?"
"Was that next on the list?"
"Yes."
No, no! Go back to talking about me! Jack thought.
He nearly said it too.
"Next time we're at the Colonel's, I'll show you how to get into his house through the back."
Was she kidding? She had better be kidding. He was getting a new lock on that back door the moment they returned to Earth.
"Is that easy?"
"Yeah, actually. You wouldn't think it... You know, actually, the best person to teach you lock picking from scratch would be Lieutenant Simmons."
Jack narrowed his eyes. Lieutenant Simmons knew how to pick locks? Were they talking about the same guy? The one with the crush on her? And how did she know he could pick locks? What was more... how come Carter could pick locks?
"The guy who has a crush on you?"
"Why does everyone say that? He does not, and if he did, he's over it. God."
"Sorry."
"Jonas!"
"I can't help it!"
"It's really, really irritating."
"Okay, I'm sor... okay. Your move."
"Not again."
Jonas snorted. "If you like I could have another go...?"
"Shut up." But it was said with laughter. "There. How's that?"
"That's fine. There isn't much you can do anyway."
"Oh, thank you *so* much."
"Do you, um, know anyone else who can play this game?"
"Is that your subtle way of asking if there are people who can play this better than me?"
"Er... maybe."
"The Colonel's pretty good. Definitely better than me."
Gee, thanks Carter! Jack thought, rolling his eyes.
"He always beats you in the infirmary."
Heh.
"Thank you, Jonas. So, yes, Colonel O'Neill. Captain Freeman, she's on SG-14, and she's the reigning champion of the SGC. You should play her."
"She's the woman with the red hair, isn't she? Always wears it in a ponytail."
"Yeah, that's her."
Jack's mind stretched over the base personnel. Freeman... red hair... oh! Oh, her. She was born in Chicago, too, if Jack recalled correctly from her file. Daniel used to talk about her. She whipped him at chess one morning and Daniel never quite recovered.
"Do you think she'd mind if I asked her to play with me?"
"No, Jonas. She's very friendly. Not like me."
He sighed with obvious relief. "Oh good."
"Jonas!"
"Sorry, sorry..."
Someone chuckled.
For a horrible moment, Jack thought it was him.
But it wasn't.
"Teal'c, have you been listening in?"
"I am very sorry, MajorCarter, JonasQuinn."
Whew. Close one, Jack thought, closing his eyes.
Story Notes: E-mail: randomleaves@yahoo.co.uk
Archive: SJD yes!
Spoilers: Season 6 merely because of Jonas's presence and Daniel's lack-of.
Feedback: Oh please... go on... you know secretly you really, really want to.
A/N: Thanks to Debbie, Emry, Kat and Sandy. They rock the beta-ing world.
Archive: SJD yes!
Spoilers: Season 6 merely because of Jonas's presence and Daniel's lack-of.
Feedback: Oh please... go on... you know secretly you really, really want to.
A/N: Thanks to Debbie, Emry, Kat and Sandy. They rock the beta-ing world.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]