"Open it."
Sitting across from me, Sam looked up and met my eyes before dropping her gaze back to the small, glitteringly-wrapped box in her fingers.
"What is it?"
I grinned and raised my eyebrow at her. "Now that would ruin the surprise," I said mock-scoldingly. I saw her lips twitch into a grin and her eyes laugh.
I still have trouble believing that I am where I am now. Well, perhaps it would be more accurate to say I have trouble believing *we* are where we are now. It's been about three years since I officially, and perhaps some would say finally, retired from active duty with the SGC, and from the Air Force in general. While I'm still employed there as a 'technical advisor', after I did some serious damage to my right knee which just never healed properly I decided I may as well call it quits. I had a choice: I could sit around all day tied to a desk as a colonel and watch the interstellar travellers, or I could sit around all day tied to a desk as *me* and watch the interstellar travellers.
I chose to be me.
Retiring from the Air Force had, and still does have, its upsides. Retiring gave me the opportunity to do things I'd been wishing I could do for years: take more time off to just relax and enjoy life, finish the new porch out the back of my house, and spend some quality time with my friends.
It's the last point which has had a *huge* impact on my life. Retiring removed several restraints from my life, most namely some all too binding regulations which had had more than their fair share of prominence in my life during my last few years of service.
Retiring allowed me to spend more time with Sam.
Ok, I'll admit that for a while there was an attraction between us. A strong one. She'd probably tell you the same thing. At least I hope she would. But neither of us jumped at the chance to take that anywhere. In fact there *was* no change in our dynamic for about three months.
That is, there was no change until her birthday - about three months after I retired. It was much like this evening - I was standing, offering her a present, we started laughing about something one of us had said, and the next thing I knew I'd kissed her. It's strange not knowing exactly play-for-play what happened, but it gave us a basis, a starting point.
Anyway, time moved on, our relationship progressed, and a year ago today we were married.
If you'd have asked me years ago whether I'd be content giving up the military life I knew, I'd have told you that it was a ridiculous notion. I *was* military through and through, and nothing could have changed that. I still am in most ways, but I seemed to have mellowed, and my priorities appear to have shifted ever so slightly. I still miss everything - it's difficult to watch people Gate across the universe and know that I can't be out there with them - but I wouldn't trade in what I have now.
Actually... given the chance, there is one thing I would change without a moment's hesitation.
When I'm with Sam, time seems to cease existing - the hours just become meaningless. I always thought I'd have forever. I always thought that once we worked around the chain of command issue *we'd* have forever. But I know it's not true. The truth is we have so little time left that is scares me.
She's dying.
Not long after we were married, she found out from some routine post-mission blood work that there was something wrong. It's anyone's guess what it is exactly. All Janet could say was that she has a virus - a virus which apparently no-one has managed to figure out how to treat, or at the very least, where it came from. And all the while it - whatever it is - is apparently munching its way through the tissue in her brainstem.
So for the last ten or so months she's been progressively having more and more problems with her breathing and circulation, and in the last month she's also had lapses of consciousness which Janet has stressed is *not* a good sign. The lapses have been increasing in length and frequency, and apparently there'll come a day when there'll be one she just doesn't wake up from. Janet also recommended that Sam stay under medical supervision, but she refused, preferring instead to just spend time outdoors, and I didn't have the heart to argue with her.
I heard on the grapevine that one of Sam's most recent projects has helped her to be considered for promotion. Hammond mentioned to me that the promotion has been unofficially approved, and should be announced within the week. She, of course, knows nothing about it, and my only wish is that she manages to hold on long enough to receive the honour.
Lieutenant Colonel Carter-O'Neill - has a nice ring to it, even if it's unofficial.
"You're sure you don't want to tell me first?"
"Not a chance."
Grinning at me, she slid her thumb carefully under the tape at one end of the wrapping and folded up the flap. Gently she tugged the paper, revealing the small jeweller's box. "Jewellery?" she asked, raising her eyebrow at me.
I tilted my head slightly. "Just open it."
I watched silently as she flipped open the lid to reveal a simple silver chain. She bit on her lower lip and swallowed, reaching out and fingering the small pendant near the rim of the box. "It's beautiful."
I scooted my chair over next to hers. "It's just a little something," I said, looking at the small shape. I'd had a jeweller create a silver pendant in the form of Earth's symbol, with a small diamond embedded at the apex of the pyramid.
She held the box towards me. "Can you..."
I nodded, unhooking the chain from the box, unclasping it, and reaching out to circle it around her throat. Brushing the ends of her hair aside so I could see, I refastened the chain. "There."
She leant over and kissed me softly on the lips. "Thank you. It's beautiful."
"Not a problem, milady," I replied, running my fingers lightly over her cheek.
"Would you..." she began tentatively. "Would you do something for me?"
"Mmm hmm. What did you have in mind?"
"Dance with me."
"Dance with you?" I asked grinning. "And here I was thinking you were gonna ask something difficult." I stood, reached down for her hand, and gently pulled her out of her chair. "So," I asked as she wound her arms around my neck, "any special reason?"
"Does there have to be?" she murmured into my shoulder.
"I guess not."
"Do you ever get scared?"
"It's been known to happen," I said, kissing her hair.
"I don't want to die, but at least then it'll be over. I hate the waiting."
I closed my eyes and blinked back a tear forming in the corner of my eye, feeling that all too familiar ache forming in my chest that happened whenever I thought about her not being here.
She lifted her head lightly from my shoulder and I looked down at her. "I love you," she said softly.
"I love you too." I ran a hand across her cheek. "Dammit, Sam, you're gonna make me cry," I said swallowing.
She stretched up and kissed me lightly on the lips. "Too late," she smiled, wiping away a small droplet which had begun to trail its way down the side of my nose, before settling her head back on my shoulder.
I closed my eyes and rested my head against hers, savouring the touch and smell of her hair. "Please don't leave me," I pleaded softly.
She didn't say anything, but her fingers threaded their way gently through the hair at the nape of my neck.
We stayed like that, wound around and supporting each other for who knows how long. I didn't realise anything was wrong until it occurred to me that Sam had been more of a heavy weight around my neck than anything else, and cursed my stupidity when I checked to find her not breathing.
I lowered her gently to the floor. "Dammit, Sam, don't go," I implored, checking for a pulse. "Please..."
I found nothing.
Lowering my head, I kissed her. "I love you," I whispered, resting my forehead against her cheek.
The shrill, insistent ringing of the phone interrupted my reverie.
Reluctantly standing, I made my way over to the offending device. "Yeah?"
"Jack?" I recognised Hammond's voice.
"Mmm..."
"Do you remember that promotion I mentioned..."
=====
ICQ: 62482342 AIM:nicolek228 http://www.geocities.com/nicolek_oz
Story Notes: EMAIL: nicolek228@yahoo.com
SPOILERS: none
WARNING: **** CHARACTER DEATH ****
ARCHIVE: SJ, Heliopolis. All others please ask.
FEEDBACK: Absolutely! :)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: it's sad and it's kinda sappy... you know, I think I've found a recurring pattern in my stuff...
Copyright (c) 2000 Nicole K
SPOILERS: none
WARNING: **** CHARACTER DEATH ****
ARCHIVE: SJ, Heliopolis. All others please ask.
FEEDBACK: Absolutely! :)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: it's sad and it's kinda sappy... you know, I think I've found a recurring pattern in my stuff...
Copyright (c) 2000 Nicole K
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]