Major Samantha Carter stared at the ceiling. She had done nothing else for the last twenty minutes, but she didn't even realise it. Lying on her back, arms folded behind her head, she was still waiting for the tears to come. But they didn't. She was still waiting to feel
the pain. But she didn't. Her body, her mind, her soul all felt numb. The tears still wouldn't come, so Sam started waiting for something else. Sleep. Darkness. Oblivion. Anything to make her forget that horrible day for a while.
He was gone.
The thing that Sam had feared most for the past years had finally happened. Jack O'Neill was gone before she had had the chance to really talk to him about how she felt.
And now it was too late.
The To'kra were pretty confident that the symbiont could heal the colonel. But would the man returning to the SGC still be the same man she fell in love with? Sam closed her eyes, the first conscious movement she had made in over a quarter of an hour.
She tried to tell herself, that he would be. After all, her own father was a To'kra and he hadn't changed a bit. Well, at least not much. But this was different. Jack hadn't wanted to be blended. In fact he would have rather died than to be saved by a "snake". The only reason he had agreed to this had been her plea not to leave her alone.
But maybe he had after all. Maybe the moment he had agreed to do this had been the last moment Sam Carter and Jack O'Neill would ever share in the way they used to do so often. Intense moments. Private moments. Moments when they were almost sure they would be able to read each others thoughts, if only they tried hard enough. Maybe by saving his life, Sam had lost him. She almost couldn't bare to complete that thought.
Sam slowly got up. Her joints were aching but she didn't care. She went over to the table and switched on the radio.
A lonely guitar started playing what seemed to be just the kind of song, Sam knew she should totally avoid right now. But she couldn't help it. She was drawn to that sad melody like the moth to the flame. So she turned up the volume a little bit, as Michelle Branch started singing.
One less call to answer
Feeling full of despair
Don't think I can get through it
Just one last prayer
Sam closed her eyes, as the words reached her soul and the tears she had been expecting for the better part of the day finally started flowing.
And it's a leap of faith
When you believe
There's someone out there
It's a leap of faith
When you believe that
Someone cares, oh
And when I call out to you
Will you be right there?
Sam cast her eyes to the ceiling as if she could see all they way into space. To the planet where that someone was on right now. So far away. He was so far away. For the first time, he wouldn't be there if she called out to him.
Searching for the answer
Nobody seems to care
Oh how I wish that
You were here
Beside me
To wipe away my tears
God, I should really turn off the radio, Sam thought, while she started sobbing. She wanted to scream to release the pain that burned itself into her heart.
And it's a leap of faith
When you believe
There's someone out there
It's a leap of faith
When you believe
That someone cares, oh
And when I call out to you
Will you be right there?
She couldn't bear it anymore. Sam reached out for the radio to turn it off, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it even though this song made her cry harder with every second.
Waiting for the answer
Remembering times
We would share
Somehow I feel
You here beside me
Even though you're not there
Sam closed her eyes, holding on to the image of the man she loved.
And it's a leap of faith
When you believe there's
Someone out there
It's a leap of faith
When you believe that
Someone cares, oh
And when I call out to you
Will you be right there?
Sam clenched her fists. She knew she was about to give up, but for crying out loud, she just had to be stronger than this. She had to believe that he was coming back. That everything would be okay in the end. She couldn't give up now. She wouldn't give up now.
And I'll be waiting
By the window for
Your smile to come through
And I'll be waiting
In the darkness when
I call out to you
And I'll remember
When you told me
I could trust in you
I can trust in you, Jack. And I will trust in you. Trust in us. I take that leap of faith, Sam thought. And suddenly, through the pain, she felt something else. Hope.
It's a leap of faith
And I believe that
You are out there
It's a leap of faith and
I believe you truly care, oh
And when I call out to you
I know you'll be right there
And as the song ended a single word drifted through the darkness.
"Jack."
The end
Story Notes: EMAIL: samcole23@aol.com
SEASON: 6
SPOILERS: Frozen
CONTENT WARNING: this one's pretty sad - is that a content warning?
ARCHIVE: SJA, Heliopolis, everyone else please ask, I won't say no
FEEDBACK: highly appreciated, would make my day
AUTHORS NOTE: This story contains spoilers for the episode "Frozen", so if you haven't seen the episode yet,you might wanns skip this one. By the way, the song is called "Leap of faith" and it's by Michelle Branch, I think.
SEASON: 6
SPOILERS: Frozen
CONTENT WARNING: this one's pretty sad - is that a content warning?
ARCHIVE: SJA, Heliopolis, everyone else please ask, I won't say no
FEEDBACK: highly appreciated, would make my day
AUTHORS NOTE: This story contains spoilers for the episode "Frozen", so if you haven't seen the episode yet,you might wanns skip this one. By the way, the song is called "Leap of faith" and it's by Michelle Branch, I think.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]