Sam sat at her kitchen table, staring at her laptop screen. She was bored, which was unusual in and of itself. She had been specifically ordered by General Hammond to not do anything concerning work today. He even took away her pager and cell phone and gave the guards specific orders to not let her on base today without his permission.
'I bet the Colonel had something to do with this.' She thought to herself. 'He just can't understand that I'm most relaxed when I'm trying to figure out the naquada reactor.' She had already cleaned her apartment and had nothing else to do.
She could go shopping but it was still three hours till she was supposed to meet Janet and Cassandra at the mall for lunch. She quickly dismissed the idea of starting her shopping early. 'Who wants to take care of shopping bags while trying to eat lunch?'
She looked down at her body. 'Already showered and dressed. I've cleaned out the fridge, reorganized the plastic storage container cabinet. The pantry is organized by food groups. Floors got mopped last night. Everything's been dusted.' She slumped back into the chair in front of her laptop computer.
'Hmm, Cassandra has been after me to check out some website and since I'm going to have lunch with her today - now would be a good time to do it. Where did I put that address?' Sam thought for a moment and then went over to the hall tree and carried her briefcase back to the table with her. After opening it and rifling through some papers, she found the post it note with the web address on it.
She turned her attention to her laptop and bringing up her web browser, she typed in http://www.emode.com and decided to sign up. 'What the heck. It can't hurt to sign up for even more junk mail' she thought.
"Wow!" She didn't realize that so many personality tests were possible. "Which one should I do first?" She wondered aloud. "Romance and Relationships - this could be fun." She briefly realized that she was talking out loud to herself. She sighed. 'Perhaps I do need a day off.'
A soft laugh escaped her lips as she read down the list of tests to choose from. She saw one towards the middle and thought 'Oh this should be fun - NOT!" as she chose The Relationship Satisfaction Test.
She read the opening sentence to herself.
'Is your relationship a match made in heaven, or is it time to move on? Find out if you and your sweetie are really meant to be with our all-seeing Relationship Satisfaction Test!
But first, tell us whether you prefer: Men or Women'
"Hmm, choose male or female. Well this one's a no-brainer." She quipped as she clicked men. She continued reading.
'Do you feel lucky to have found your significant other, or do you feel like you might be settling for something less than your ideal? Different people are looking for different things in their relationships. But what's important for everyone is that you're happy with the one you've got! Are you fulfilled by your relationship? Take this test and find out just how satisfied you really are.'
She snorted. "Fulfilled by my relationship? Oh puh-leeze!" She chuckled and continued on.
1. Complete the following sentence: My man feels ________ to be with me.
Blessed
Pretty damn lucky
Fine
Not so psyched
"Well, if that grin he gave me after he and Teal'c figured out how to stop time from looping back on itself, I'm thinking we did something so I'd say he's pretty damn lucky." She clicked on the second choice and moved to question 2.
2. Do the two of you communicate well?
Yes - good communication is very important to both of us
Yes - we both agree that it's easier to drop it than to deal with it
Pretty well
We leave a lot to be desired
Nope
"Oh yeah - we both agreed to leave it in the room instead of deal with it." She vaguely wondered if the test was going to consist of constantly choosing the second option as she read question 3.
3. Rate your man in the romance department:
A
B
C
D
F
"Rate my man huh. How can I rate him when I haven't even kissed him?
Well, at least voluntarily kissed him." She thought for a moment. "He was very charming with Thera so I'll give him a B." She laughed at how embarrassed she felt. 'I'm here alone with no one around and I'm getting embarrassed over a silly online test that means nothing. I need help!'
4. True or false: When you've got a case of the blues, being with your man makes everything a little brighter.
True
Sometimes true
False
"Oh yeah - that's true!" She wasted no time in clicking the response and moving on to the next question.
5. The picture of your life without him looks like:
A bird taking flight
A train chugging along
Road kill
"Road kill? Who comes up with these choices?" She took a sip of her water. "Well, it would be sad to live without him but I would be able to eventually move on so the answer is a train chugging along." She looked at her watch. She had only spent 15 minutes so far. She still had another hour and forty-five minutes before she had to leave to go meet Janet and Cassandra. She liked to make sure she left herself enough time to find a parking place and find this new restaurant they were going to.
She took another sip of water as she clicked on the link to take her to the next page of the test. When she saw question 6, she laughed so spontaneously that she spit out the water.
6. Your sex life is as satisfying as:
A home-cooked meal
A Snickers bar
A side salad
A glass of expired milk
"Oh gee, I'm going to have think about this one." She continued laughing while she clicked on the last choice. "I'm so pathetic! I really need to find a guy that it's not against the rules for me to date. Or perhaps convince him to retire." She quickly imagined life in SG-1 without the Colonel. "Nah! Can't have him retiring. Daniel and Teal'c are good friends but…they just can't make me laugh."
7. Is he able to admit when he's wrong?
Yes
Most of the time
Every so often
Never
"Jack O'Neill? Admit he's wrong? Define admitting that you're wrong. If by chance they mean 'Okay - bad example.' Then yes, every so often he does admit that he's wrong."
8. When it comes to making decisions:
We both always have a say
We take turns in the driver's seat
It's usually my call
It's usually his call
"Depends on how bored he is. But he is the Colonel so it's usually his call."
9. How much do you trust him?
As far as I can throw him
Not too much
I'm working on it
Completely (well, almost)
With my life
"How much do I trust him? I trust with my life beyond a shadow of a doubt." She briefly thought the recent experience with the entity that inhabited her body and put her into a computer. He wouldn't let them give up hope for recovery. He had yet again saved her life. "Oh yeah, definitely trust him with my life."
10. When it comes to expressing your feelings to him, you're as comfortable as a:
Down comforter
Hotel bed
New pair of shoes
Gynecological exam
'Who's comfortable with one of those exams?' She briefly shuddered as she suddenly realized that her appointment for it was fast approaching. "I'm pretty comfortable expressing my feelings to him but not about some things. Oh gee whiz! My two choices are hotel bed and down comforter. Well, I'm not going to choose a hotel bed over a comforter." She clicked the first selection and then hit the next page link.
While she waited for the page to load, she decided that she'd hurry up with the test and then go to the mall early. There was a new book out about quantum theories and she wanted to see if it was any good.
11. The amount of time you spend together is:
Way too much
A little excessive
Just right
Not enough
"Is a minimum of 12 hours a day considered excessive?" She joked out loud. "Well, they may consider it to be so but I consider it to be not enough so I'm clicking on that one."
12. Your emotional needs are:
Completely fulfilled
Generally satisfied
Suffering a bit
Starving for attention
"Emotional needs? Who has emotional needs in the Air Force? Don't these people know anything???" She clicked the last one and continued on.
13. Do you feel like a top priority in his life?
Oh yeah - I'm #1
I'm definitely at the top of his list
I make the top 10
I think I come between watering the plants and taking cooking classes
"I better be in the top 10 and no higher than that for right now. Can't risk the team for my fantasies…"
14. In this relationship, you're as secure as:
The Pentagon
A locked door
A bra on a date
A rowboat in a storm
"Definitely a locked door. Always room for improvement though." She laughed as she felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment again.
15. Can you say "He totally appreciates me!" without flinching?
Yup
Depends on the day
Uh, no
"Oh yes, he definitely appreciates me. Of course, I didn't know this until after the whole Makepeace incident and that cruel comment. But like they say, making up is half the fun. Now if only it could be physical!" Sam sighed. She hoped she didn't have too many more questions to go before this was over. She really wanted to check out that new book.
16. When you're having a "disagreement," what usually happens?
I give in
He gives in
We compromise
We fight like cats and dogs
"He is the CO so I guess that means that I give in."
17. How attracted to him are you?
I can't control myself around him
I find him pretty damn good-looking
I think he's cute
Well, looks aren't everything
Actually, he's quite repulsive
"Definitely the second choice. He is damn good-looking!" Sam shook her head as she clicked on the second choice.
18. Are you compatible when it comes to financial issues?
Not in the least
Somewhat
Pretty much
We're cut from the same cloth
"I have no idea what his financial issues are. Except that he likes to buy me coffee. Somewhat should be a safe choice."
19. Is he as affectionate as you'd like?
A little too touchy, actually
He's just right in that department
I could handle a little more
You'd think he was allergic to me
"Oh I could definitely handle more but that would be against regs so it's back to choosing the second option. Gee whiz I'm boring!"
20. Do you want the same things in life?
Yes
Most things
Some things
Not really
Not even close
"I've never really thought about that before. I'm not sure that we do now that I think about it. Pretty soon he's going to want to retire but I love what I do and can't imagine just walking away from it. But we both want the Earth to be safe and to help free as many Goa'uld slaves as we can." She thought about her choices for a minute and decided to go right down middle. "We want some things to be the same in life so that's an honest answer."
She clicked on the link for the next page and was happy to see that instead of more questions, it was the results of her test.
"Alrighty then. How did I score?" She started reading the results.
'Good news - it looks like you're pretty darn happy with your relationship. Sure, you might want to change a couple of things - why can't he remember your anniversary for once?! - but overall, your answers tell us you're one satisfied customer. Surprised? It's normal to have doubts about how you and your guy are doing, but it's the big picture that counts. And we can see that, overall, you two are on the road to happiness. Of course, even the best relationships need work to stay in peak condition. It takes constant effort to maintain a good level of communication, keep your goals and hopes in sync (not the boy band ), and make sure you settle conflicts before they get out of hand. And all that labor can't be one-sided - both you and your partner need to be committed to putting serious time and energy into making your union work. That said, your odds of making it are better than most, so give yourself a big pat on the back and go give your honey a hug.'
"I'm happy with not having a physical relationship with him? I'm worse off than I thought!! I really do need help!"
She quickly shut off her laptop and picked up her purse and jacket and left her apartment. She wasn't watching where she walking so she surprised to feel herself start to fall down the stairs. As she braced herself for the impact of hitting metal and concrete, she saw a pair of male arms reach out and catch her across her shoulders and stomach. Her momentum carried both of them forward and her unidentified hero was slammed against the railing as she finally was able to get her feet underneath her before plowing into him and nearly knocking him over the railing.
The man now had his arms around her and was trying to help her stand up and regain her balance. She profusely apologized as she started to stand up and abruptly stopped speaking when she looked at whose arms she was in.
"You okay Carter?" Concern was evident in his voice.
"Huh?" To say she was experiencing a 'moment' would be one way of defining it.
Jack chuckled as he started to release her only to quickly grab her again when she started to sway. "Carter? You in there?"
Realizing that it wasn't a dream and was, in fact, very much real, she quickly blushed and stepped out of his embrace. "Yes sir. I must have missed a step. Thanks for catching me."
"Anytime Sam…anytime."
As she started to go down the last flight of stairs towards her car, she suddenly remembered that he lived nowhere near her neighborhood. She slowly turned around after realizing that he just called her Sam.
"Were you coming to see me Sir?" She asked as he walked down the stairs to her.
"Yep. Janet has been trying to reach you to let you know that she can't come to lunch today. She was called into work and she wanted me to be sure to tell you that Cas is with some friends at a party but she kept getting a busy signal and after paging you, remembered that the General had kept your pager and cell phone. So she called me and asked me to come over and tell you since you seemed to be otherwise preoccupied."
They had reached her car and now she slumped her shoulders. 'Oh well, best to not make a total waste of the day.' "Thank you for telling me."
"No problem." He turned and headed towards his vehicle when he felt an arm on his shoulder.
"Since you drove all the way over here to tell me, can I at least buy you lunch? I would offer to fix it myself but I was really looking forward to this seafood salad that I've heard so much about." She smiled sweetly and raised her eyebrows, trying to convince him to take her up on the offer.
"Is this the new restaurant at the mall?"
"Yep."
"I'll take you up on that offer. Danny is dragging poor Teal'c around the mall today looking for a birthday present for Janet. We can meet up with them and have lunch together. You wanna ride or drive yourself?"
'So it isn't the lunch date you wanted but at least this way, no one can say that you were sneaking around.' She quickly thought to herself. "I've got some shopping to do myself so I'll drive separately."
A look of disappointment quickly flashed across his face. "Okie dokey - suit yourself. Meet you there."
As he started to get into his vehicle, she yelled at him. "Call Daniel and tell him about it. I don't have a phone remember?!" He waved and showed her his phone and started to dial as he drove off.
As she got into her car, she reached over and opened the glove compartment box. She pulled a slim black box out and opened it up and pulled out her second cell phone. "Be prepared for anything is my motto." She said as she quickly started up her car and drove off towards the mall. 'Good thing I had gotten a new cell phone last week and haven't had the time to sell off my old one.'
"Dial Janet at work" Sam spoke into the phone and placed it up to her ear.
"You had this planned all along didn't you?" The sound of Janet's laughter was the only thing that could be heard.
The End
Story Notes: dgose@startrekmail.com
SPOILERS: Up through the end of Season 4
SEASON/SEQUEL: Season 4, before Exodus
ARCHIVE: SJA - yes, Heliopolis - yes, sg1fans.net - yes
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Answering a challenge (sort of) about answering the personality tests at emode.com in the voice of one of the characters. Feedback always appreciated and flames will be used to light my grill. :)
SPOILERS: Up through the end of Season 4
SEASON/SEQUEL: Season 4, before Exodus
ARCHIVE: SJA - yes, Heliopolis - yes, sg1fans.net - yes
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Answering a challenge (sort of) about answering the personality tests at emode.com in the voice of one of the characters. Feedback always appreciated and flames will be used to light my grill. :)
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]