Jack sat back on his sofa after just opening his beer. He took a long swig, reveling in its taste and its ability to block certain thoughts. He was upset at what he had just done. He realized that he had gone overboard, but knew it was necessary in order to distance himself from SG-1. He had a job to do and the only way he could do it was if he didn’t have to worry about his friends.
He took another swig from the bottle of beer, feeling the cool liquid as it bubbled in his mouth and then he swallowed it. He hated the silence in his house; it made him think about what he had just done to his team. His team he thought and then chuckled at that thought. He had a team, with the operative word being ‘had’. He had just burned that bridge; he no longer had a team. He was no longer military; he had just retired again.
Jack couldn’t stand the silence so he put on some music. He first chose an opera but changed his mind. He thought about the music that he use to listen to when he was in Black Ops, and knew that was the type of music he needed to listen to in order to put him in the right mood for his next task. He loaded up his CD player with rock ballads from the 60’s and 70’s. He could use those songs and the beer to numb him; he was falling into his old habits.
He remembered another living room and another time in his past when he use to sit on the sofa as he was doing now, drinking beer and trying to forget what he had just done. He had convinced himself that what he had done was necessary to safeguard the freedom and safety of his country, but that didn’t make it any easier for him. Several beers later, he felt as if he had almost reached that happy numb feeling. Jack took a long swig from his beer bottle, downing the remaining contents. He went to his refrigerator, pulled out a couple more beers and brought them back to the living room.
As the music played on Jack drank his beer and sunk deeper into himself. He began to remember in more detail how he use to close himself off, turning away from Sarah until he hid the memory of the mission he had returned from in recesses of his mind. Those days were rough on their marriage and the only thing holding the two of them together was Charlie. Jack was impossible to be around for a week after he returned from a mission; he would let no one near him except for Charlie.
He opened the last beer and quickly emptied it. He got up, locked up the house, turned off the stereo and went to bed. He hoped that his mind was fuzzy enough so that he wouldn’t dream. Now was not the time for old demons from his Black Ops days to appear.
Jack awoke just as the sun was starting to rise. He had been in a deep sleep, but not a peaceful one. He cleaned up from the night before and checked for listening bugs while cleaning. He figured that they were probably going to bug his house; he just hoped that they hadn’t done that yet. After assuring that his house was not bugged, he went about his normal routine. Jack knew he had to behave as a retired person did, so he started doing work around the house that he had put off because of his job.
It was early the next afternoon when Jack heard a knock on the door. He looked at his watch and shook his head. It only took Daniel two days and several hours to come over for their talk. Jack thought that it was a good thing he didn’t bet on how long it would take Daniel to confront him; he would have lost money on that bet. He thought Daniel would have been here sooner or called sooner than this.
Daniel and Jack had their conversation and Daniel left. Jack didn’t like what he told Daniel, but knew that he had to himself from Daniel and SG-1. Jack could not risk dragging down any member of the team if things didn’t work out right nor could he risk dragging the military into this. He had to do this on his own, which was why he had to officially retire. He was taking a chance trying to do handle this on his own, but the Asgard had put so much faith in him that he couldn’t say no.
*~*~
Daniel returned to the SGC and met with the rest of SG-1. He told them about the conversation that he had with Jack and how Jack pushed him away. Daniel threw up his hands and said if that was what Jack wanted, then that was what Jack would get. Daniel left the room, went to his quarters and punched out his pillow. He realized that he had a lot of pent up anger so he went to the gym to go work out his frustration on the punching bag. He had seen people release their stress on the bag and he hoped that it would do the same for him.
Teal’c and Sam remained behind talking to one another. Teal’c told Major Carter that he was very surprised by Colonel O’Neill’s actions. He commented on this being very unlike Colonel O’Neill. He told Major Carter that Colonel O’Neill was acting as if something foreign had infected him; however, according to Dr. Fraiser, Colonel O’Neill did not have an alien disease so he could not say what was wrong with O’Neill. Teal’c then excused himself and went to his room.
Major Carter was fuming, how could Colonel O’Neill have done that. She wanted to go over to his house and punch his lights out. She couldn’t be court-martialed; after all, he had retired so she would not be striking a superior officer.
Sam realized that the problem between Jack and Daniel was not what was really upsetting her; it was what Jack told her earlier. It was Jack’s comment about him not being himself since he met her that was what was upsetting her. She never had a chance to talk to him about his comment because he retired and left the base. She wondered, if that was how he actually felt about her, then why had he recommend her to be promoted to the rank of Major. So many thoughts started running through her mind and the more she thought about the situation, the angrier she got.
Sam went up to the gym to work out her anger. She looked in and saw Daniel working out on the punching bag. She was shocked at the power Daniel used when hitting the bag. She figured that he was just venting his anger and she left him to work out his frustrations. Sam packed up her stuff and decided that she would go home where she could work out her own anger.
*~*~
Sam pulled out of the parking lot and traveled down the mountain wondering how she could have misjudged the Colonel so badly. She heard a horn honking at her and she slammed on the brakes just in time to avoid an accident. She went through the intersection when it was clear and pulled over to the side of the road. She was confused for a moment; this didn’t look like the way to her apartment. Sam realized where she was; subconsciously she was driving to the Colonel’s house. She continued her trek to his house having decided that she was going have it out with him. She was going to tell him how wrong it was to do that to Daniel. What Sam really wanted to do was to question him about his comment, but decided it was best to leave that subject alone.
Sam pulled up in front of the Colonel’s house and took a moment before getting out of her car. She went to the front door and knocked very hard on the door. O’Neill opened the door and Carter walked right past him.
“Ah, … come on in Carter. Oh wait you already are in,” O’Neill said in a sarcastic tone.
“What gives you the right to say what you did to Daniel?” Carter shouted at O’Neill.
“Excuse me, but can I help you with something?” O’Neill asked with a sarcastic tone.
“Don’t give me that glib shit, sir. It isn’t going to work with me. How could you say those things to Daniel? Just who in the hell do you think you are? Daniel is a good friend and deserves better than that,” Carter said as O’Neill entered the living room to face her.
He motioned for her to take a seat but she stood defiantly in front of the chair instead of sitting. O’Neill shrugged his shoulders and took a seat on the sofa. He then asked her what she was doing here. Carter began to yell at him again, saying that he had no right to be mean to Daniel and that Daniel was the best friend he could have. She continued this one sided conversation for a couple of minutes before O’Neill spoke.
“I think it’s time for you to leave Carter,” O’Neill said as he rose from the sofa.
“To hell with that sir. You’re going to listen to what I have to say whether you like it or not,” Carter said.
“Drop the sir Carter, I’m retired remember,” O’Neill stated.
“What’s really happening and why did you retire? Why won’t you tell us the reason? We know you’re not acting like yourself and there must be something wrong. Why won’t you let us help you sir?” Carter stated
“That is enough Carter! I think it is time for you to go,” O’Neill stated as he stood up from the sofa. He reached out and took her arm to escort her out of his house.
“I’ll leave when I’ve had my say sir, and not until then,” Carter shouted.
“Well you’ve had your say Carter. I’ve had it up to here (motioning a couple of inches above his head with his hand) with what you’ve have to say,” O’Neill said in a hostile tone.
“No sir, I’ve just started,” Carter said as she moved her arm to escape his grip.
“No you’re through right now Carter! God, no wonder you and Jonah never made it work. You must have talked him to the brink of insanity. Well I’m not your commanding officer, and I don’t have to listen to your talking anymore,” O’Neill said in a harsh tone.
Upon hearing what O’Neill said, Carter’s eyes got big. She was shocked at what she had just heard. Not only had he insulted her but now he was attacking her personal life. He had no idea what happened between her and Jonas, he had no right to bring up her past. She was still in shock when O’Neill reached out for her arm again.
O’Neill took her by the elbow and walked her up to the front door. She put up little resistance as she was still in shock.
“Now Major Carter, you’ve had your say and now its time for you to leave. Good Night and Good-Bye!!” O’Neill said as he ushered her out the door then slammed the door.
The sound of the door slamming brought Carter back to reality. The Colonel had just snubbed her. ‘How dare he make accusations about her relationship with Jonas’, she thought. She was furious at him.
He told her that he was tired of listening to her talk so much. If that was the case then why was he always asking her questions at work when it was obvious that he wouldn’t understand what she was saying. She thought he was asking the questions just to be close to her. She thought that deep down inside he cared a little bit more for her than just a comrade in arms. She could not believe that she misjudged him. She stormed out to her car and peeled out as she left his house. She wanted to separate herself from him as fast as possible.
Jack had a hard time swallowing the lump in his throat, he felt so bad about what he said to Carter. The things he said were extremely harsh. He hated saying them and wanted to cut his tongue off for saying those things to her, but he knew it was necessary. He had to distance himself from her so that he wouldn’t ruin her career. He couldn’t risk anyone else getting involved for fear that his actions could tarnish the program. He didn’t care about himself, he had done things like this before in Black Ops, but he never remembered having to hurt his friends like this. He had isolated himself from his team, co-workers, and his friends. They were like his family and he hated himself for having to do that, but it was necessary. That still didn’t ease the pain of what he had done.
Jack walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. He twisted off the top, gulping it down. He finished almost half the bottle with that gulp. He walked into the living room and plopped down on the sofa. He took another long swig from the bottle finishing it off then just stared at the empty bottle.
Moments later Jack got up and grabbed another bottle of beer from the refrigerator, opened it in the living room and took a long swig. He held the bottle in front of him, looking at the foam inside the bottle. Suddenly he threw the bottle into the fireplace, shattering it all over the fireplace and hearth. He sat down on the sofa putting his feet on the coffee table as he leaned back, gripping his head with his hands. He was angry at himself for what he said and what he had done. He didn’t know what hurt worse, the look in Daniel’s eyes when he told him off or the hurt he saw in Sam’s eyes just a few minutes ago. He thought about it and realized that he had hurt two very special people in his life. He wanted to take back every mean thing he said but he could not, he had to make sure they would stay away from him.
Jack cleaned up the mess at the fireplace and put a frozen dinner in the microwave. He picked at his dinner, barely eating it; he had lost his appetite. He drank iced tea with his dinner; he figured he had more than his fair share of beer lately. He dumped what was left of his dinner in the trash, and then went into the living room. He sat there thinking about what he had done to his friends, he was oblivious to everything around him.
*~*~
Sam was fuming the entire drive home. She remembered when she wanted to move to a new apartment closer to the base, the Colonel had helped her find a place. The location turned out to be closer to him and not actually closer to the base. Of course, she didn’t mind the location especially since it was only about five miles away from the Colonel. She went inside her apartment and angrily threw her keys on her bed. Instead of calming down, Sam got madder with each passing moment.
How dare the Colonel make any kind of comment about her and Jonas, he had no right to do that. If he was so tired of hearing her talk then why was he always asking her questions? She went to the kitchen to fix dinner, but she didn’t have an appetite. She knew that she had to work this anger out of her so she changed into her jogging clothes.
She figured a long hard run would work the rage out of her. She had a route that she usually ran that included a path leading pass the back of the Colonel’s property. It was a serene route, but taking that path meant that she might see him outside and seeing him was the last thing she wanted to do. She started her run at a fast pace in the opposite direction of her usual route and away from the Colonel’s place.
*~*~
Sam jogged in place waiting for the light to change so she could cross the street. She looked around and realized where she was; she had again found herself by the Colonel’s house. She turned down the side street and then turned onto the jogging trail that passes by the back of his property.
As she jogged by his place, she noticed a light on in the Colonel’s living room. She was still angry, not even the run had helped calm her down. She decided that she was going to have it out with him once and for all. Since he wasn’t military anymore, she could punch his lights out without fear of being court-martialed. She reached for her towel in her fanny pack, pulled it out and wrapped it around her hand hoping to keep her hand from being injured. She went up to the back porch and pounded on the patio glass door.
Jack was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of someone pounding on his back door. He figured it was them, how cliché he thought. They were coming under the cover of night and were at his back door. He opened the door and was surprised to see Major Samantha Carter standing there. He opened the door and motioned for her to come in. He looked around outside to see if there was anyone watching before closing the door.
Jack locked the door behind her and closed the curtain. He turned to ask her what she was doing here when he was greeted with a right hook to his jaw. It spun him around, knocking him off balance. He regained his balance, stood up facing her and noticed Carter in a boxer’s stance.
“Put’em up Colonel,” Carter said defiantly.
“Knock it off Carter. What the hell was that for?” O’Neill asked.
“How dare you make accusations about something you know absolutely nothing about! I came here to defend his honor since he’s dead and can’t do it himself,” Carter stated.
“Do you still care about him?” O’Neill asked.
“No sir I don’t. I just won’t put up with your snide comments about my relationships with men. You have no right to do that,” Carter stated. She then stepped forward faked a punch with her right and threw a left jab into O’Neill’s stomach.
He took that punch and several more before he tried to stop her. He felt that he deserved some of the punches for the things he said to her. After she hit him a few times, he caught her right hand and spun her around, pinning her arm behind her back, pulling her backwards up against his chest. He then put his other arm around the front of her, pinning her left arm so that she could not swing it to hit him. Carter then started moving her feet to make a backward heel strike against his shin and foot.
In a sudden move O’Neill pushed Carter away from his body while still holding onto her right arm, sweeping her feet and knocking her to the ground. As Carter fell to the ground O’Neill was instantly on top of her, pinning her arms and legs.
“Carter, enough already. You got in those shots only because I let you. I’m not going to let you hit me any more,” O’Neill stated. “If you promise to calm down a minute I’ll let you up and we can try to discuss this in a civilized manner.”
O’Neill could tell by the way her body relaxed that Carter was not going to fight him any more. He stood up and then offered her a hand up which she ignored and stood up on her own. He motioned her to take a seat on the sofa as he sat at the opposite end of the sofa; instead, she stood in front of the chair.
“So talk already. I’m waiting to hear what wonderful excuse you’re going to make now,” Carter stated.
O’Neill sat down on the sofa and just looked at Carter. He noticed tears welling up in Carter’s eyes and he sat there wondering how he could have been so cruel to her. Carter waited but O’Neill didn’t say a word.
“Well fine, I see you have nothing to say. I’m leaving. Enjoy your retirement, just don’t expect a retirement party from us, Colonel” Carter stated.
She then walked around the coffee table to the back patio door. She struggled with the door lock; she was having a hard time seeing straight. Tears were filling her eyes and she was struggling to keep her emotions under control. Her frustration level continued to rise as she struggled with the lock. All she could think about was escaping this place. She could not let her defenses down around him; a good soldier would not do that.
She started shaking the door handle hoping it would loosen the lock; she had to get out of there right away before she lost it. She was beginning to panic because she knew that she was about to loose control of her emotions and start crying. She couldn’t do that in front of him.
A hand covered her hands as she struggled with the lock. She could barely see the image of the hand covering her own hand when it happened. A tear that she had been struggling to keep at bay leaped from her eye and splashed on the hand of the very man she was trying to hide it from.
He was momentarily in shock; a tear had just fallen on his hand, followed closely by another tear. The tears rolled down his hand, causing him to become distracted for a moment. The patio door being opened brought Jack’s attention back to the situation.
Sam had freed the lock by shaking the door a little more. She then pushed the door open and stepped outside. She ran down the steps of the patio deck, and turned to go past the patio deck so she could get back to the trail. She managed to get half way past the patio deck when suddenly something jumped in front of her.
Jack had jumped off the deck in front of her and grabbed Sam around her upper arms to keep her from running into him. He then pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug. She pounded on his back with her fists in frustration. When she hit him this time, there was little strength behind the strikes.
“No,” she said as she sobbed into his shoulder. “You don’t have the right!”
He held her until she stopped hitting his back. He then eased his hold on her and stepped back. Jack released her and lifted her chin up so she would look at him. It pained him to see tears in her eyes and tears running down her face.
“Please come back inside. I really would like to talk to you,” he said very calmly. Jack stepped to the side and motioned with his hand for her to walk with him, which she did.
They walked back into the house and he closed the patio door behind them, locking it. Jack stepped into the living room and took the chair, giving her the rest of living room to wander about. She started walking back and forth like a caged animal. Jack knew that she was about to flee and thought that she was going to do just that when she looked at the front door.
“Carter, I need to …” he started saying in a stern voice. He saw her flinch at the tone of his voice and she turned her back to him. He cleared his throat and decided to take a softer approach.
“Sam, I’m truly sorry for the things that I said. I wish there was something that I could say to you that would make you believe that I’m telling you the truth right now,” Jack said.
“Tell me why,” Sam said still facing away from Jack.
“I’ve destroyed my career. I was lucky that they didn’t court-martial me. I know that you guys would be brave friends and would stick with me through thick or thin. I couldn’t let you do that. None of you,” Jack said. He let out a sigh and then hung his head.
Sam turned and saw his body posture and realized that he was telling the truth.
“Why me? Why did you have to say those things to me? You know that Jonas has always been a sore spot for me. Why did you choose to throw that in my face? Why?” Sam said almost sobbing.
She tried to control her feelings and wondered why she couldn’t do that now. She had always kept her feelings in check when she talked with him before. She turned away from him, still trying to conceal her emotions.
“Sam, you’ve seen me through the some of the roughest and best times as a team member. During those times, you displayed the best qualities in a solder and a friend,” Jack stated.
A ‘friend!’ she thought. She was a good soldier to serve with. In that instant, she realized her dreams of any special feelings between them was just that, a dream. He saw her as a good soldier and a friend, like a comrade in arms.
“Sam, you didn’t leave me alone to die in Antarctica, and you worked endlessly to get me home from Eudora. You’ve done more for me than any soldier or friend could have ever done. Hell, you’ve been more than a friend; you’ve been a good companion,” Jack said in a somber tone.
‘Great’ she thought. ‘Good companion? Dogs are good companions.’ She sniffled, wiped her tears and decided that she needed to leave. She didn’t want to hear anything else about her being a good friend nor about her being like one of the guys, she didn’t want to be thought of as just one of the guys, she was different from them.
“I had to say those things to get you to hate me. I’ve destroyed my career; I couldn’t risk you destroying yours because of your feelings of loyalty to me. You’re too good of a soldier and a scientist to risk it all on me; you shouldn’t support a lost cause like me. I had to get you mad enough at me so that you would have nothing to do with me,” Jack stated.
Sam turned to look at him and saw that his eyes looked moist, as if he was holding back some feelings. She walked towards the end of the sofa by him.
“Couldn’t you have said something else though? Why did you have to have to bring up Jonas?” Sam asked.
“That was the only thing that I could think about at that moment. Any time the subject of old relationships was brought up you always got uneasy. I know you Sam, and relationships are your Achilles heel. I had to do something desperate and quickly. I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you in that way,” he stated.
She sat down on the sofa and watched him. He had exposed his inner self, making him vulnerable. She knew that this was her chance to hurt him just like he had hurt her earlier as well as for all of the other times in the past. Sam knew that he deserved to be hurt for everything that he said and had done. She was going to finally vent all of her pent up anger she had been carrying around inside her. She was about to speak when she saw something wet on his hand. There it was, one single tear had fallen onto his hands that were clasped together below his bowed head.
“It killed me to say those things Sam, but it was necessary. I would never have forgiven myself if I had destroyed any of your careers, especially yours. You’ve worked so hard to get where you are in the military and if anything bad had happened to you, I would have felt responsible. Admit it, you would have risked it all if I ever asked for any help, right?” Jack asked.
Jack looked up and saw Sam nodding her head in agreement with him.
“You need to hear this so please listen carefully. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the opportunity to say it again. Major Samantha Carter, you have been the best thing in my life and have saved my rotten hide so many times that I’ve lost count. I’ve never said thank you enough for all of the times you’ve rescue me. You’ve literally been my lifesaver, and a very important part of my life. Thanks for always being there. You’ve saved me in more ways than you’ll ever know,” Jack said.
After saying that, Jack went to the bathroom, brought back a box of tissues and placed them by Sam. He had already wiped away any tears that might have been forming in his eyes. He told her that he appreciated that she gave him the chance to speak his peace, and said that he would miss her friendship.
Jack walked to the patio door, unlocked it and stepped out into the coldness of the night. He stood there on the deck looking out into his backyard wishing that he could tell her everything. He wondered if she would ever forgive him or if she would hate him if she found out why he was doing this. He turned to walk back inside figuring that he had given her enough time to compose herself. He stepped inside the house and didn’t see her in the living room. He immediately went to the front door to see if she had left, but it was still secured from the inside. Sam then exited the bathroom with a freshly washed face.
“Jack I want you to know that if you ever need a favor, you can always count on me. I still consider you a friend,” Sam said with a smile.
Jack thanked her and opened his arms so he could give her a hug. She walked to him and embraced him and they gave each other a big hug. He then told her that the things he will remember most about her is her energy, enthusiasm, and that dazzling smile of hers. He stated that he would miss her smile the most.
Sam smiled into his shoulder as he said these things in her ear. She then leaned her head back to look at him so she could give him one of her smiles that she reserved just for him. They hugged each other again and remained in each other’s arms.
She liked being in his arms, it felt wonderful. She could smell his cologne and how it mingled with his body chemistry, making it his unique smell. She inhaled deeply thinking that this would probably be the last time she would be able to do this. She knew that they would promise to keep in touch, but that would not happen for security reasons. She inhaled his scent again and let out a soft moan.
He felt the moan against his throat and it sent chills throughout his body. This was wrong, he had to stop. There it was again, she uttered another soft moan. The sound and feel of it was making it difficult for him to remain professional. Subconsciously his hands started moving slowly up and down her back.
Sam felt his hands move over her back and she felt herself loosing control. She snuggled in closer to his neck and placed a soft little kiss on the side of his neck. She didn’t know why she did it, she just felt like doing it so she did. He adjusted his stance, pulling her closer to him. She then stuck her tongue out and lightly licked his neck. She wanted to taste him; she felt herself loosing control and continued her actions. She made a small circle with her tongue and then kissed the spot. Sam then started sucking lightly on this part of his neck.
Jack’s closed his eyes, enjoying her wonderful torture on him. His brain was telling him to release her, but he didn’t. His brain was telling him to calm down, she was just another woman and he had resisted this type of temptation in the past. He kept telling himself to calm down, he couldn’t calm down. This was Sam, the woman he had secret fantasies about for such a long time. His brain was struggling to make him see reason, but things were becoming very fuzzy to him. He was lost in this feeling, it was fantastic and he didn’t want it to stop.
Sam felt him responding to her sucking on his neck in a positive fashion. She moved up his neck with soft kisses and then lightly brushed his lips with hers. She softly kissed his lips hoping that he would respond. At first, there was no response, then she felt him responding. He was kissing her back, letting his passion become evident in his kisses. Sam felt Jack pull her very tightly up against him. His arms were wrapped around her, blocking out the world. She felt like they were the only people existing in the world at that moment in time.
Jack heard a voice in his head screaming and he stopped. He stepped back and opened his eyes. He saw Sam standing there with her eyes closed and her lips were puckered to kiss him. He then released her, walked a few steps to the sofa and took a seat. He was shaking his head thinking that it was wrong. He wondered how this could be so wrong when it felt so right.
Sam was surprised by Jack’s actions and wondered what she did wrong. She saw him looking down towards the floor and how he avoided looking at her. Sam felt that she had gone too far and she had ruined their friendship.
“Jack…I’m sorry. I’ll let myself out,” Sam said softly.
Jack looked up and saw Sam walking to the patio door. He quickly got off the sofa and grabbed her hand gently. Sam turned and looked at Jack, she didn’t understand his actions. He had just rejected her advancement and so this touch confused her.
“Wait a minute Sam. I’m the one who needs to apologize. I just got caught up in the moment and,” was all he was able to say before he was interrupted.
“Apology not accepted,” Sam said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
Sam made sure that her kiss would show Jack that this was not a mistake. Jack was stunned only for the briefest of moments by her kiss. He captured her lips and kissed her back hoping to express to her in the kiss how he really felt about her. Minutes later they stopped and slowly opened their eyes, staring into each other’s eyes.
Alarms were going off in Jack’s brain, telling him this was wrong. The alarm was loud when he first stopped kissing her; but as he looked deeper in her eyes, the alarm became more muted with every second that passed. Jack leaned down and kissed her again, opening his mouth allowing his tongue reach out and touch her lips, asking for consent to enter. Her lips parted and their tongues danced together.
The couple moved away from the door, back towards the living room. Sam put her arms under Jack’s sweater, gliding her hands over the span of his back. She started pulling the bottom of his pullover sweater up, she wanted to eliminate it from blocking her hands from touching his skin. Jack helped her by removing his sweater. He looked at her and saw that she had a feral grin that expressed exactly what she wanted. Sam kissed Jack’s lips then moved to his throat, where she kissed and nibbled on his neck. The low moan that he uttered let her know that he was enjoying this.
He decided that it was his turn. He raised her chin so that he could kiss her lips and then he quickly moved to kissing and sucking on her neck. He could feel the shivers going through her body, encouraging him to continue. He continued his actions while his hands wandered to the zipper on the front of her sweat suit jacket. He started to unzip it and paused, waiting for her to object. Instead, he heard her say in a lustful tone for him not to stop. He finished unzipping her jacket, and then removed it revealing her tank top. He kissed her skin that was exposed above the neckline of the tank top as she arched her back, thrusting her breasts up towards him.
Soon her tank top came off and he caressed her breasts through her sports bra. He kissed the newly exposed flesh, and then trailed wet kisses down to the waistband of her sweat suit pants. His kisses were leaving a fiery trail that was igniting Sam passion even more. His tongued licked the skin just above the waistband, testing to see if she objected. Then he let his tongue slip under the waistband of her sweat pants, licking down to the waistband of her jogging shorts. She arched her back thrusting her lower stomach and lower pelvis towards his mouth. She held onto him to keep from falling. She then reached down, pulling him up into a lust filled kiss. She left little doubt in his mind exactly what she wanted.
As they kissed, his hands reached down and lowered her sweat pants leaving on her jogging shorts. As her pants dropped, Sam stepped out of her shoes and kicked aside her pants. She leaned into him, pressing her stomach and pelvic area up against his groin, encouraging his actions.
Then she lifted up his T-shirt to his shoulders and he finished removing it for her. She rubbed her hands over the hairs on his chest, lightly squeezing his nipples as her fingers passed over them. She heard him let out a low growl, causing her to smile. He bent down and started kissing her upper chest before letting his tongue go below the neckline of her sports bra while his hands massaged her breasts through the bra. He was trying to stretch his tongue further in an attempt to reach her nipples, but her bra wouldn’t budge. He returned to kissing her lips, then suddenly stopped.
His actions startled her. She didn’t want him to stop. Sam started rubbing her hands over his chest to encourage him to continue his actions. He grabbed her shoulders and held her at arm length away from him, then took a few steps back.
Sam asked him what was wrong and he told her that this wasn’t right. It struck her that he was right and that they shouldn’t be doing this, but she didn’t want it to stop. She cautiously stepped closer and stood in front of him with only about an inch between their bodies. Using her hand, she guided Jack’s face so that he would look into her eyes.
“Jack, why is this wrong?” Sam asked.
“I’m you’re commanding officer Sam,” Jack said.
“Not any more. You’re retired, remember?” Sam stated.
After saying that, Sam wrapped her arms around his shoulders pulling his head down so she could kiss him. In between the kisses, she whispered that he was retired and this was not against regulations. Their kissing became more intense and again he stopped her and put her at arm length.
“Sam, wait a minute. Your associating with me could jeopardize your career and your future. It wouldn’t be fair to you,” Jack said.
“Jack, thank you for being concerned about me. My career is important but so are you. Right now I don’t want to focus on the future, I want to focus on the present,” Sam said.
“Sam you can’t ignore the future, I’m only trying to help you keep your career on track,” Jack said in a sad tone.
“Jack, soon you’ll be considered persona non grata. I’ll worry about the future in a little bit, but for now let’s just concentrate on this moment,” Sam said as she kissed Jack.
They were again lost in their kisses. Jack’s hands started exploring more and more of Sam’s exposed flesh. Jack then held her tightly in his arms as if he was shutting out the rest of the world.
“Persona non grata, eh? Are you sure about this Sam?” Jack asked as he held her.
“Jack, I’m very sure. I’ve had to cut myself off from most of the world because of the security risk to the project. Now at this moment, I have a chance to be a normal woman, a part of the real world without the security of my job being compromised. I need to feel like I’m a part of world Jack. I need intimate contact, …I need your contact,” Sam stated in a very soft tone.
“I need that type of contact too Sam. I’ve needed it for such a long time,” Jack stated as he picked Sam up in arms.
Jack carried her into the bedroom where he gently laid her on his bed. He then closed and locked the bedroom door, shutting out the rest of the world. He didn’t want to think about the world outside of his bedroom, he just wanted to focus on Sam.
Jack walked back to his bed where Sam had slipped under the covers. Sam extended her hand to him, asking him to join her under the covers as she moved over to make room for him. Jack lay down in his bed, pulling the covers around him as he slid next to Sam. Instead of rushing to finish undressing each other, they tenderly kissed and caressed one another. They were both committing this moment to memory, knowing that it would never happen again.
The last bit of clothing was removed from the couple, and soon they were doing an ancient intimate dance that was done by caring couples all over the world. The tenderness and passion they expressed to each other showed that this was more than just sex; they were revealing their feelings for one another in their actions. This was very important to both of them, because neither one could admit how they felt. Sated, they both eased into sleep in each other’s arms.
Later when Sam woke up, she turned over in bed only to find Jack watching her. She asked him what he was doing. He smiled and said that he liked watching her sleep, stating that she looked beautiful when she slept. Sam felt embarrassed by his comment and snuggled up close to Jack’s chest.
He held her in his arms, kissed the top of her head and told her that she was still beautiful. She lifted her head and kissed him. Soon they were in the throws of passion and when they finished, they again fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Sam awoke and reached out for Jack, but this time he wasn’t there. She sat up and found her clothes at the bottom of the bed. Then the aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted back to the bedroom. She got dressed and found Jack sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. He was going through a part of the paper almost frantically.
Her curiosity was peeked by his actions and so she asked him what he was looking for. He said that he was looking to see if there was an earthquake last night. Sam asked Jack what he was talking about. He told her that he was sure there was an earthquake because the earth sure seemed to move for him last night. Sam blushed at his typical ‘Jack’ compliment to her about their intimacy last night and swatted at the newspaper Jack was holding. She told him that it was probably an isolated incident to only his house. Sam then leaned down and kissed him.
Jack offered her some coffee and promised her breakfast in a few minutes. She reluctantly declined, stating that she had to get home and then get back to the mountain for a meeting later this afternoon.
Sam stopped speaking, noticing the look on Jack’s face. He told her that he was fine. He just missed the idea of getting up and going to work. He said that he was going to have to find a hobby. She wiggled her eyebrows at him and said that she was sure he could come up with some type of hobby. She looked at her watch, sighed and said that she had to leave.
Sam walked to the back door and Jack followed. He asked why she wanted leave the back way, and she said that she didn’t want to give his neighbors anything to gossip about. Sam gave Jack a quick kiss and sprinted off. Soon she was on the trail leading away from Jack’s house and back to her apartment. She got there in record time, she felt like she was jogging on air the whole way home. She liked the way she felt this morning and wished that it wouldn’t end.
Just then, Daniel drove up. He said that he tried to call her earlier but he figured she was out jogging. He held up a box of doughnuts and said that he brought breakfast. She told him that she needed to get cleaned up and told Daniel that she would meet him at work. He then left and Sam started up the stairs to her apartment. Suddenly Sam’s legs felt very heavy as she walked up her stairs. It was as if they were objecting to her actions of going back to work. She felt sad because she was coming off her emotional high she had been on since this morning.
*~*~*~
At the meeting General Hammond had just made the announcement that SG-1 would be led by Colonel Makepeace and the signs of disappointment was evident on Daniel’s face. He had been hoping that Sam would replace Jack. He knew that with Makepeace in command, things would be very different. He felt as if a dark cloud was looming above him as he left the meeting.
*~*~*~
Days later Sam heard that Jack was on base. She was looking all around the base for him but could not find him. Instead, she ran into Daniel. He then informed her that Jack had just requested to go off world to Eudora and live out his retirement there. Sam felt her heart breaking. She knew that they hadn’t professed their love to one another, but she felt as if there was something special between them. She now felt as if she had been betrayed. She knew that he was going off world to live the rest of his life with another woman. Sam was devastated.
She got on the elevator to go up to the surface for some fresh air when the elevator stopped on level 25 and a familiar face got into the elevator. Things were so quiet in the elevator that you could have heard a pin drop. Upon reaching the surface, Sam informed the guards that she was going out for some fresh air and signed out. Jack stepped out of the elevator and handed the guard a note from General Hammond. It allowed Jack O’Neill back down to level 28 after he gathered his personal affects. Jack then signed out and stepped out into the fresh air.
Jack spotted Sam taking a trail that was off to the side of the mountain’s entrance. He followed her until she stopped in an open area. She heard Jack coming up behind her. She knew it was Jack, she recognized the sound of his gait from all of the missions they had been on.
“So you’re going off world to be with her, huh,” Sam said in an angry tone with her back to him.
“I don’t have much of a choice Sam,” Jack said quietly.
“Yes you do. You could stay here. No one is making you go,” She stated.
“Yes, they are. I was approached by someone and informed that I am now persona non grata to all SGC personnel. They advised that if I had any additional contact with you, Daniel, or any other personnel from the SGC, that person would be removed from the program. I can’t risk ruining anyone else’s life because of their association with me. I’m leaving because of the inherent danger to you and everyone else if I stayed,” Jack stated.
Jack then explained to Sam that it would be wrong for him to hurt them just by talking to them. He said that since they were friends, they would still want to talk to him on occasion and he couldn’t risk that. He touched the back of her shoulders and said that he never intended to hurt her. She could feel her eyes tearing up and she struggled to hold them in check. Jack told her that she meant so much to him that he couldn’t risk endangering her career.
He stated that she was important to the Stargate program. Jack told her that he would have died several times if it weren’t for her and her brains. He said the project needed her. He stated that his time had come and gone, now he was stepping down for the new era of leaders. Sam turned to face him, and he told her that she was a part of the new era.
He could see the tears in her eyes. He hugged her and kissed the top of her head, telling her that this the way it had to be. He said that the SGC needed her. Jack said that he would be doing a dishonor to her and his country if he stayed here risking her career. He told her that he would miss the way she would explain all of her scientific doohickeys, which caused her to chuckle for a moment.
She cried into his sweater and then wiped her tears away. Jack turned, leaving her alone while he retrieved his gear. Sam dried her eyes, entered the mountain and took the elevator back down to the level 28.
An hour later, Sam along with the rest of the crew at the SGC saw Jack O’Neill off at the gate room. As Jack walked up the ramp General Hammond called them to attention and they saluted Jack O’Neill as he stepped through the gate. The wormhole disengaged and they exited the gate room.
As they exited the gate room Janet invited Sam to join her for a cup of coffee. Reluctantly Sam went with Janet to the cafeteria. Janet could see the pain in Sam’s eyes. She knew that there had been something special between Colonel O’Neill and her best friend. Janet had some suspicions about how they felt about each other, but she decided not to push the issue.
Sam knew that there was no reason why she couldn’t talk to Janet about what had happened between her and Jack now that he was gone, but she didn’t tell Janet. She didn’t want to share her special memories of Jack with anyone; they were all she had left of him.
*~*~*~
A wormhole was activated and the team ran to the control room. Out of the wormhole popped Jack O’Neill, but he held his arm in the wormhole to keep it from being disengaged. Soon several people, many whom were recognized as being military personnel, came through the wormhole. Colonel Makepeace was handcuffing suspect Newman when the rest of SG-1 reached the gate room. Jack then handcuffed Makepeace, surprising the group. At that time, General Hammond advised the handcuffed subjects that they were all under arrest and he explained what had happened.
SG-1 and General Hammond then exited the gate room. General Hammond told Jack they would debrief after his post mission exam. As Jack walked to the infirmary, Daniel then told Jack that he had gone to the house to talk with him because he drew the short straw. The team laughed as they walked pass Jack.
*~*~*~
General Hammond’s debriefing with Jack took longer than expected. General Hammond advised Jack that he would be officially recalled to active duty and would be reinstated to the rank of Colonel, resuming command of SG-1. He advised Jack that this would take effect Monday when the paperwork goes through. Jack thanked General Hammond and exited the room.
Jack went in search of his team to try to mend fences. He found Teal’c and explained the situation. Teal’c replied that he did not believe that the Colonel was the type of person who would do wrong. He stated that he was glad that the Colonel validated his beliefs.
Next Jack went looking for Daniel. A couple of hours later Jack and Daniel were in the cafeteria enjoying a cup of coffee and laughing about something that happened in the past. They were off to a good start to patching up their friendship.
Two down and one more team member to go Jack thought. The last one was the most important one of all. He went to his old office and started jotting down notes on paper so that he would remember the right things to say. Several hours had passed before he exited the office and he went in search of Carter. He looked all over the base but was unable to find her. He decided to take it up with her later and went home. As he signed out, he saw that Carter had left over an hour ago.
Upon getting home, Jack checked the place for listening devices reassuring that they had not reinstalled the bugs. Jack had removed the bugs before closing up his house and leaving for Eudora. He then ascertained that that his house was clear of the listening devices, so he could speak freely.
Jack tried to call Sam and her answering machine picked it up, so he hung up the phone without leaving a message. After several more attempts to contact her, Jack decided to leave a message asking her to give him a chance to talk to her. He stated that he needed at least 5 minutes of her time.
He grabbed a beer, went into the living room and started to watch television. He had the cordless phone with him so he could quickly answer the phone in case she called. He got bored with the shows because he was restless. He stepped out onto the patio deck hoping that he might see her out there, but there was no sign of Sam.
Jack went back in, turned on the DVD and started watching a movie. It was stuffy in the house since it had been closed it up before leaving for Eudora. Jack went to the patio sliding door and opened it a crack so the air would circulate in the house. He sat back on the sofa, enjoying his beer while watching The Wizard of Oz. He had to watch something to take his mind off Sam and he figured that this movie would do the trick.
He heard a noise that made him jump. At that time, he realized that he had fallen asleep during the movie. He checked the caller ID on the phone and no one called. He put the phone back in its charging cradle, closed the patio door, locked it with the key lock and then went about the house turning off the television and lights.
He went into his bedroom that was partially lit by the moonlight shinning through his window. He undressed and got into the bed wearing only his briefs. He set the alarm on his clock for later than usual. He was looking forward to sleeping in since SG-1 was on stand down for the next few days.
He lay on his back as sleep started to overtake him. He caught a slight whiff of a scent that he knew to be uniquely Sam. He inhaled deeply so he could fall asleep with her smell in his nostrils. Jack then turned over on his side glancing up at the clock.
“Sam, why didn’t you call? I wish I had the chance to talk to you,” he said barely above a whisper.
“Be careful what you wish for because it just might come true,” she said as she kissed the back of his shoulder.
“Sam, what are you doing here? I mean why are you here?” Jack said as he turned around to face her in his bed.
“You know, you really should learn to lock that patio door of yours. You never know what could get into your house,” Sam said mockingly. She then leaned over and kissed him soundly on the lips.
“But Sam, we can’t. Think of your career. I’m back at the SGC,” Jack barely managed to say before Sam kissed him again.
“Well officially you’re not back until Monday morning when your paper work goes though. So you’re still retired and not my commanding officer, but you’re also no longer considered persona non grata, Jack” Sam said and kissed him again.
“Sam, as much as I might want to, I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us to do this, you know that. Please Sam, this is killing me,” Jack said in a soft voice.
“Jack, please. I need to feel alive again; I need to be with you. If this is all I can have then I’ll take what I can get. Just once more let me feel like I’m a normal woman in the regular world. I just need…,” Sam said as her voice began to quiver.
Jack gently kissed her lips and felt a tear touch his face as it rolled down Sam’s face.
“I need someone to be close to right now. Jack, when I was with you before, I felt as if I just woke up after a long deep sleep. I felt more alive that night than I’ve felt in years,” Sam said in a quivering tone.
Jack just lay there unsure of what to do. He wanted to have her in his arms, but he knew that if he did that then he wouldn’t want to let go of her.
“Jack…I just need to feel alive one more time before I shut myself off from the world. We’re different from everyone else Jack. We have to keep secrets for the rest of our lives. I just wanted another special secret so the other dark secrets won’t over run the good ones. Surely you can understand that,” Sam said as she turned away from him in the bed.
Sam sat up on the edge of the bed, her back to Jack. This time she didn’t try to hold back her tears, she let them flow freely. She sniffled and wiped her eyes as she bent down to gather up her clothes. Jack then realized that Sam had been nude under the covers of his bed, waiting for him.
Jack lay there stumped, not knowing exactly what to do. A part of him wanted to stop her but he knew that it was best if she left. Then her words echoed in his mind. Have a special secret that would keep the dark secrets from becoming the dominant thoughts. He already had too many dark secrets shut up inside of him. All of his dark secrets were what made him shut down before the Stargate program started up. He was tired of all of the darkness; he wanted a ray of hope to hold onto.
Jack reached out and touched Sam’s back, “Sam, wait,” he said just above a whisper.
A shiver ran down Sam’s bare back when Jack touched her. It was killing her, she wanted him so much but it appeared that he no longer wanted her.
“Sam, I have so many dark secrets that I carry around that they have made me skeptical of everyone and everything. How could I do that to you by making you keep more secrets?” Jack asked.
Sam sat on the edge of the bed; her tears were now flowingly freely. She gripped the edge of the mattress tightly as she listened to him speaking. She decided not to hide her feelings, she was going to tell him what was in her heart.
“What happened between us is a secret that allows me to keep on going Jack. It reminds me that I’m more than a soldier and a scientist; I’m a warm and caring person. For one brief night, I was able to share that with someone very special. I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get a chance to share that part of me with anyone else because of my job. I need that intimate contact so I won’t loose my grip on reality. Jack, I need you,” Sam said and then sobbed.
Sam stood up with her clothes in the crook of her arm. She felt so exposed and embarrassed. It wasn’t her nudeness that embarrassed her; she felt embarrassed because she had exposed her most intimate feelings.
Sam walked around the bed en route to the bathroom so she could get dressed and leave. She extended her hand to open the bathroom door when Jack grabbed her hand.
“Sam, please don’t go,” Jack said softly pleading with her.
He cupped her face with his hands and softly kissed her lips. He then took her clothes from her arm and draped them across the dresser by the bathroom door. He then stood in front of her and could see her face that was being illuminated from the moonlight shinning through the window. He looked at her and saw the tracks of tears that laced her face.
“Sam, I carry around so many dark secrets inside me, and what we shared was a ray of light that is sustaining the balance within me. Our secret is the most treasured secret I’ll ever keep. I just don’t want to risk loosing our friendship over our secret,” Jack said while holding her hands.
“But Jack, that secret was what helped me to go on. I used that one bit of happiness we shared to keep me going despite the adversities I faced. I just wanted to feel special once more,” Sam said softly. She grabbed her clothes and ran out of the bedroom.
Sam went to the living room and quickly put on her clothes. She looked down the hallway but Jack didn’t come after her. She tried to open the patio door but noticed it needed a key to unlock it. She then tried the front door, but it too needed a key to unlock it. She sat down on the chair by the fireplace wondering how she had gotten herself into this mess, and how was she going to get out of this. She sat there thinking in the dark; suddenly she knew what she had to do. She got up and walked back into the bedroom.
“Jack I need the key so I can leave,” Sam said in a calm voice.
“Sam, I don’t know what you could see in a man like me who’s so ragged around the edges. I’m not the smartest guy around and this gray hair means that I’m not as young as I use to be. There are so many other guys out there who would fall over themselves just to be close to you. Why not give yourself a chance with them,” Jack said as he sat on the side of the bed.
“Do you think I’m smart Jack?” Sam asked.
“Yeah. You’re probably the smartest person I’ve ever known. Why do you ask?” Jack said.
“Where’s the key Jack?” Sam asked again.
Jack pointed to a key by the nightstand next to where he was sitting on the side of the bed.
“So why did you ask if I thought you were smart?” Jack asked Sam.
Sam didn’t respond. She just walked over to the nightstand and picked up the key.
“Do you think I’m attractive?” She asked him.
“Well yeah, of course you are,” Jack said without hesitation.
Sam then walked out of the bedroom to the front door, unlocked it and put the key down by the door. She set the doorknob lock, walked out the door and closed it behind her. Sam got in her vehicle and drove away.
Jack got up when he heard the door close and went to see what had just happened. He looked outside and saw that Sam had left. He picked up his key and went back to his bedroom. He lay down in bed wondering why she had asked him those questions. He rolled onto his side and extended his arm, feeling the side of the bed where she had been laying, searching for some sign of her. However, the sheets were cold and there was only the very faintest scent of her on the sheets and pillow. Jack turned onto his back waiting for sleep to overcome him.
Jack turned and looked at the clock, noticing it was almost midnight. He wished that he could go to sleep, but it was as if sleep was purposely avoiding him. He continued to check the clock almost every couple of minutes until he finally decided to get up. He realized that he couldn’t sleep because he was wondering why Sam had asked him those questions. She had never explained why she asked the questions and that part was bother him and keeping him awake.
He decided to call her and picked up the phone. He then hung it up figuring that she probably wouldn’t talk to him on the phone. Jack got dressed, grabbed his jacket, keys and went out the door. He was going to go talk to her in person; he hated the way that things ended this evening. He knew that they had to sort things out before Monday.
*~*~*~
Jack was driving over to Sam’s apartment when a vehicle cut him off, forcing him to miss the turn. He drove further down the street in order to turn around and thought he saw Sam’s car parked on a side street. He turned down the street and parked his vehicle. He heard music and followed the sound to a bar a block away from Sam’s car. Jack figured that Sam had gone there so he decided to check on her and make sure that she was okay. He knew she was upset and he was worried that she might do something foolish. He went into the bar noticed it was crowded and wondered if he would be able to spot Sam in this crowd.
Several ladies took quick note of Jack as he walked in. Jack felt like this was a meat market and he was a fresh piece of meat on display when he walked in. It was obvious that he was deliciously appealing to the ladies; they were practically drooling. Several women walked up and asked him if he was alone, he replied that he was looking for a friend much to their disappointment. Their good looks did not escape him, and he had to remind himself that he was here to find Sam.
Jack had circled the bar twice but still hadn’t spotted Sam. He was about to leave when a he noticed a very nice pair of lady’s legs that were crossed as she sat at the bar on a barstool. He again reminded himself that he was here to find Sam, not to try to pick up women. He walked past the pair of crossed legs but could not see rest of her; she was surrounded by several guys. He took another gander at those great looking gams and could now see that they were covered at the knees by a dark brown skirt. The music in the bar slowed and couples went to the dance floor. Jack was thankful for this because now he could move more freely around the bar. A brunette came up and asked him to dance. He told her maybe later; he was still looking for a friend.
He saw a head of blonde hair sitting at the bar and went to check it out. It wasn’t Sam and the female appeared disappointed that she wasn’t the one that Jack was looking for. He was about to leave when he spotted her.
Sam was wearing a snug fitting brown sweater with a “V” cut in the front, over a dark brown skirt. Jack’s eyes continued down to see that the legs he had admired earlier belonged to Sam. He stood there watching her, wishing he was the one dancing with her.
The dance ended and she returned to her bar stool and ordered a fresh drink. Jack went to the other end of the bar, got the bartender’s attention and paid the bartender for Sam’s drink. The bartender returned to Sam and gave her the drink. Several guys offered to pay for it, but the bartender said that a guy at the end of the bar had already paid for the drink. Sam looked down the bar for this man, but no guy acknowledged that he bought the drink.
A few songs later, the music slowed again and Sam went onto the dance floor with a different guy. When she returned she ordered a fresh drink, just in case someone had slipped something into her drink. When the bartender returned with her drink, Sam’s dance partner offered to pay for the drink but the bartender said that the same gentleman at the other end of the bar had already paid for the drink. Sam looked down the bar but again no male signaled her that he bought her drink.
An attractive man dressed in gray came up and asked Sam to dance but she turned him down saying maybe later. Sam got up and visited the ladies room then returned to her barstool where the guys were still waiting for her.
Sam got the bartender’s attention to order a fresh drink. The bartender smiled as he placed a fresh drink in front of Sam just as she got his attention. The bartender told Sam that the gentleman at the end of the bar insisted that she have a fresh drink when she returned; and he once again pointed towards the end of the bar.
Now Sam was curious, who would go to such great lengths to make sure she wasn’t thirsty. She strained her neck to see whom the bartender was pointing out, but again she couldn’t see who was the mystery man.
As the night wore on Sam was continuously looking down to the other end of the bar hoping that she would spot this mystery man who had been buying her drinks. The men had to get Sam’s attention several times so she could answer their questions, it seems that her mind was elsewhere. Sam would apologize to them and start to listen to the men as they talked. She acted as if she was listening, but her attention was soon at the end of the bar, hoping to spot the mystery man.
It was approaching closing time and the music slowed down. The man in gray returned and asked Sam if she wanted to dance. Sam informed the guy that she was about to leave. Sam turned around to the bar to get the bartender’s attention. She thanked the bartender for his service and then put several bills in his tip jar.
“Are you sure you don’t have time for one last dance lady?” the male asked.
“Thank you, but I really…” was all she managed to say before turning around to see the face of the person asking her to dance.
Standing before Sam was Jack O’Neill. He was wearing black slacks, a black pullover sweater and black leather jacket. ‘Wow, he looks fantastic’, she thought to herself.
“How about one last dance so you can have a good memory of this place, “ Jack said with a smile.
“Oh Miss! You were asking who had been buying your drinks earlier. That’s the gentleman who’s been buying your drinks,” the bartender stated pointing at Jack.
“This is a nice place that’s made even nicer by your presence. Would you do me the honor of dancing with me so that I will always remember this night,” Jack said as he looked directly at Sam’s eyes. He took her hand, lifted it to his lips and adoringly kissed her hand.
Sam’s face lit up and she left the barstool with Jack guiding her to the dance floor. The song was a little faster than Jack liked but it allowed him to dance close to Sam.
The next song was a slow song, allowing them the chance to dance closer. Jack held Sam in his arms and gently pulled her close to him. As they continued to dance, Jack pulled Sam even tighter against him. She rested her head on his shoulder while wrapping her arms around him. Jack could feel Sam melting into his arms and he never wanted the song to end, but it did end, all too soon.
Jack walked Sam back to her barstool. The bartender announced last call and asked if they wanted anything else to drink. Jack shook his head no and thanked the bartender. He handed the bartender some money, thanking him for the good service to the lady and for the music selection. The bartender winked and said he was glad to help.
Jack asked Sam if she was ready to leave and she said that she was. She stood up and he helped her on with her coat. They walked through the bar holding hands as they exited. Sam was smiling as they exited, and her smile got even bigger when she heard the comments being made. Sam overheard several women talking, saying how lucky she was to be leaving with that guy.
The guys who had been hanging around Sam’s barstool all night stood there with their mouths hanging open. They could not believe what had just happened. They had been doing their best to get the lady’s attention but she didn’t give them the time of day. They remarked about how that old fart came up and swept her away from them. They were all surprised at her choice.
One of the guys stopped the bartender and asked the bartender what that guy (pointing to Jack) did to get her when she wouldn’t give them the time of day. The bartender smiled and said that guy in black was just a classy guy who respected the lady. The bartender told the men that most women like being treated special, and from what he saw the guy in the black did just that. The men then made a few snide remarks under their breath about the guy in black. The bartender shook his head, knowing that the guys didn’t have a clue on how to treat a lady. He emptied his tip jar and walked away from the area he had just nicknamed the ‘looser’ end of the bar.
Jack walked Sam to her car and took her keys from her hand so he could unlock the vehicle for her. He then put her keys back in her hand, brought both of her hands up to his lips and kissed her hands. Jack then asked Sam if they could talk, she smiled and told him to follow her home. Jack opened her car door and after she was in, he closed her door. Jack then rushed over to his vehicle and pulled out waiting for her get in front of him so he could follow her home.
She pulled into her parking lot, turned off the engine to her vehicle and sat there waiting as Jack had asked her to do earlier. A few moments later, the car door was opened and a familiar hand was extended down to her to assist her in getting out of the vehicle. Jack said that a lady should always have doors opened for them and have proper escort home. Jack closed the car door after her and they walked up to her apartment.
Inside the apartment, Sam put on some soft music for background noise and got Jack the glass of water he asked for. When Sam entered the room Jack stood up and waited until she took a seat before he sat down. He was glad that she was sitting next to him on the sofa, especially after his actions earlier this evening. He took a sip of water and then put his glass down.
“Sam, there’s something that I’ve been meaning to ask you all night. I’m dying to know why you asked if I thought you were smart and if I thought that you were attractive.” Jack stated.
“Have you ever heard of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?” Sam asked. Jack replied that he had heard of Mozart. “Well that’s why,” Sam replied.
“Huh?” Jack stated. “I know about Mozart, but what’s that got to do with why you asked those questions earlier?”
“When Mozart was a child he did not wake up easily. His mother would wake him up by playing only a portion of a scale on the piano. The incomplete scale would bother him so much that he would have get up and finish the scale,” Sam stated with a broad smile.
Jack was just as puzzled at the answer, as he was when she asked him the questions. It was obvious that he didn’t understand her answer.
Sam told Jack that she knew that she was smart and she decided to use that to her advantage. She stated that she knew that the reason for her asking the questions would puzzle him and he would keep on thinking about it until he found out the reason for her asking the questions. Jack still looked puzzled and asked her what she was talking about.
Sam went on to say that when she left his house she went home, changed clothes and went to the club. She knew that her questions would bother him (Jack) and that it was just a matter of time before he came over to her place to ask her about the questions.
She stated that she was confident that he thought that she was smart, she was just a little nervous on how he would answer her question about her being attractive. She said that he had told her that she was beautiful, but his actions made her doubt his words. She stated that the trip to the bar was her way to reassure herself that she was attractive. She stated that she needed something to boost her ego after it had been so severely deflated earlier.
Jack looked her in the eyes and told her that he’s always thought she was attractive, but tonight his eyes were opened. Sam blushed at his comment. He told her that she looked beautiful right now, but not as beautiful as she did earlier. Sam then turned bright red knowing that he was referring to seeing her naked. Sam said that she was embarrassed a little about being naked in front of him earlier.
Jack then touched Sam’s jaw, bringing her eyes back to focus on him.
“Sam, I’m not talking about how beautiful you were tonight at the club or earlier when you were in my bed. I’m talking about how truly beautiful and radiant you were when you exposed your feelings to me. I’ve never seen you more beautiful nor found you more attractive than when you let me see the inner you,” Jack said, sealing it with a kiss.
They kissed and as they kissed Sam could feel her eyes filling with tears. She stopped kissing Jack and went to brush aside the tears. Jack told her that she looked so radiant right now. Sam blushed and Jack tenderly kissed her.
He asked her what she would have done if he hadn’t shown up at the bar. She said that she was planning to leave at closing time. Jack asked her what would have happened if she had found a man, brought that guy home, and found him waiting there for her. Sam told Jack that she had no intentions of picking up a man, because the guy she wanted would be waiting at home for her.
Then it occurred to Sam that Jack had showed up at the bar. She asked Jack how he knew that she would be at the bar tonight. He told her that he didn’t know. He said that he was going to her apartment to talk to her about the questions when a car cut him off, causing him to miss the turn off to her apartment. He stated that he drove a bit further down the road to turn around when he spotted her car.
Jack said he confirmed it was her vehicle and wondered where she was. He said that he parked, heard the music from the bar and he figured she had gone in the bar for a drink. Jack told Sam that he had been in the bar for quite a while before he finally spotted her.
He said that he had been looking all around and passed a pair of beautiful legs sticking out from a barstool. He said that those legs almost distracted him from his mission of finding her. Jack said that it took him a few minutes before he had a clear line of site of the female whose legs he had been admiring. He commented that he was dumbstruck when he discovered that it was Sam. He had forgotten how beautiful she looked. He also said that he had forgotten what a great pair of legs she had, he was so use to her wearing fatigues.
Jack said that he decided to hang around and watch over her because of the guys hanging around her. He said that it was obvious to him exactly what they wanted from her.
Sam asked Jack why he was buying her drinks and he said it was for her protection. He said that he wanted to make sure that someone didn’t slip something into her drink that could harm her. Sam smiled and asked him why he hid from her view when the bartender tried to point out who bought her drinks. Jack just smiled and said that he didn’t want to ruin her good time.
Jack thought to himself that Sam was not the only smart one. He knew that Sam would be curious about who was buying the drinks. He figured Sam would continue to look for the guy buying her drinks, and that would keep her attention away from the guys who were trying to pick her up.
Jack’s smile got a little bit bigger as he thought about his actions. Jack had tipped the bartender each time to assure that only he paid for Sam’s drinks, and he had arranged for the slow music to be played around closing time. He thought his surprise was going to be ruined when the guy in gray asked Sam to dance before he got there. He was thankful that she had turned down the bar fly Casanova.
Sam just stared at Jack wondering what was making him smile so much. Jack snapped out of it and turned his attention back to Sam.
Jack asked Sam what made her think that he would be waiting at her apartment. She said that she knew she was taking a gamble that he would be waiting for her, but she figured the odds were in her favor. Jack asked her how she came to that conclusion. Realizing that Jack didn’t really understand her first explanation, she decided to take a different approach.
Sam told Jack that she knew he was a curious man. She knew the questions she asked would peek his curiosity until he found out why she asked him the questions. She said that it was just a matter of time before his curiosity got the best of him. She figured he would come to her apartment to confront her in person. She said that it was just an educated guess that he would be there, but she figured with a Ph.D. and knowing what type of man he was, it was more of a sure bet than an educated guess.
Sam told Jack that the question about her being attractive would start making him think about her as a woman and not as a scientist and a soldier. She giggled saying that it was the first time she had to try to get a guy to like her for her looks and not her brains.
Sam smiled big because she could tell by the look on Jack’s face that he fully understood what she was saying. Jack stated that he knew that she was attractive the first day she walked in the briefing room at the SGC.
Jack smiled, tenderly kissed Sam and then stopped. He heard a song playing on the stereo and stood up then asked Sam to dance. She told him that it was okay; he didn’t have to do that. Jack took her hand, kissed the inside palm of her hand, and again asked if she would dance with him. Sam stood up and Jack led her to an open area in her living room where they danced to the music.
She asked him why he was doing this. He smiled and said that maybe she wasn’t as smart as he thought. Jack reminded Sam that she mentioned that she wanted to have a special memory to cherish. He said that he couldn’t think of any better memory to give her than to show her the way a special lady should be treated.
Jack said that tonight he wanted to make sure that there was no doubt in her mind that he thought that she was special and he wanted to show her that he appreciated her. He said that he would do what ever it took to make tonight memorable for her. He told her that he was sorry that he never showed her before this time how important she was to him.
Sam wrapped her arms tightly around Jack’s shoulders as they danced. Jack looked down and saw Sam’s eyes brimming with tears. He asked if he upset her. She told him no, he was doing everything just right. She gave him a soft kiss and rested her head on his chest as they danced.
“Jack, you asked me earlier why I was interested in a graying hair soldier that was tattered around the edges. I’ll tell you why. It’s because of everything you’ve done,” Sam said.
She leaned back to look at him. His confusion was evident in his face.
“I’ve never had anyone ever make me feel so special. From the very start, you gave me the chance to prove myself. You believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. But the other night and tonight you were my lifesaver. You did so much to make me feel wanted and desirable. Best of all you allowed me to share myself and those feelings with someone special, … you,” Sam said then sealed it with a kiss to his lips.
Now it was Jack’s turn to blush. He smiled and told her that he was sorry about earlier. Sam put her finger to his lips and shushed him. She told Jack she was creating a memory of tonight, starting when she was at the bar.
Sam said that when she couldn’t see the guy buying her drinks, she just pretended that it was her favorite guy buying the drinks and touched Jack on the tip of his nose. She was indicating to him that he was her favorite guy. Jack reminded her that it was him buying her drinks and she didn’t have to pretend. Sam smiled and said that he had made one of her wishes come true with his actions.
They continued to dance close until they just barely swayed together, still kissing each other. Sam eased out of Jack’s arms, holding onto his hand to guide him towards her bedroom. Jack hesitated, making Sam turn around.
“Sam, we can’t ignore regulations, no matter how much we want to,” Jack said.
“It’s not Monday yet Jack,” Sam replied in a hopeful tone.
Jack pulled Sam back to where he was standing, and asked her if she was sure about this. She stated that this was the only thing that she was sure of at this time.
“Then help me Sam. Let me know that you need me right now as much as I need you. I need a special secret, a ray of light to hold onto; one to keep the dark ones at bay,” Jack said. He was still afraid of being turned away from the woman who had unlocked his heart and sole, and allowed him to feel alive again.
Sam kissed Jack, reassuring him with that kiss that she needed and wanted him tonight. She asked him to lock the front door then moved to the hallway. He locked the front door then took her hand as she stood in the hallway. He followed her into her bedroom, locking that door, effectively locking out the outside world.
Jack and Sam were again living in the moment and not for the future. They both knew that come Monday this would be only a memory. It would be a special memory for both of them, a secret that they would never share with anyone else.
Jack woke as the sunlight started to creep into the bedroom. His arms were wrapped around Sam as she lay across his chest and her leg draped over his leg. He could hear the argument beginning in his brain about how this was wrong. He started to move out from under Sam when he heard her moan. She then kissed his chest, started rubbing her fingers through his chest hairs before her hand traveled further down his body. There was no longer an argument going on in Jack’s head. The blood that had been rushing through his brain making him think about his actions was being rerouted further south on his body; his other head was taking control of him.
Sam and Jack spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon dozing after their intimate incursions. That weekend Jack and Sam spent the whole time together, sharing casual as well as intimate moments together. They were enjoying every moment together, knowing that Monday was rapidly encroaching on their time. They both knew that come Monday they would return to their military rules and regulations, they would again be SG-1 ready to save the Earth at a moment’s notice. However, for right now, they were just Jack and Sam, living for the moment.
****
This story can also be seen at the below site. The site has an image of Jack and Sam’s attire at the bar.
http://babalouie.homestead.com/Secrets.html Thanks for taking the time to read this. Your feedback is appreciated.
Story Notes: AUTHOR’S NOTES: Different character points of view are used throughout the story. I want to thank my friend “R.I.P.”, for helping me in making the story flow. I hope you enjoy the story. Feedback is appreciated.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]