PROLOGUE
"So Sam.....truth or dare?" Daniel asked.
"Truth," Sam replied, reaching over to steal her commanding officer's beer.
"Hey!" Jack complained.
"Sorry sir, I thought you were finished with it."
"Or is it your not so subtle attempt to make me get you more beer?"
"You read my mind."
Daniel sighed to himself. It was always the same when they'd had a few drink, the flirting reached an almost embarrassing level......which gave Daniel a really evil idea. He looked at Jack, he looked at Sam then phrased his question,
"So, Sam.......tell us exactly how, where and with whom you lost your virginity."
Sam immediately choked on her beer, liberally spraying the Colonel,
"Daniel!" she exclaimed, "I'm not telling you that!"
"You have to," Janet added, "it's the rules."
Sam cast a panicked look at Jack, then at the rest of her friends. Daniel smiled to himself, he'd obviously hit a nerve.
"Was it really that bad?" Daniel pushed.
"No, not at all, it's just......a very special memory that I don't want you guys making fun of."
She seemed to have regained a little more of her composure.
"So what do you say, Jack? Order Sam to tell us."
"You've got no support on this one Danny-boy," O'Neill replied.
In fact, Jack was taking this all very calmly. He didn't seem at all interested, which Daniel found surprising. If anything the older man looked almost.....smug?
"Was it fireworks and flashing lights?" Janet asked.
"More like rockets and shooting stars," Sam replied. For a second her gaze locked with Jack's, then she continued speaking, "All right, I was seventeen and he was one of the airmen on the base where Dad was stationed. That enough details for you?"
"No....."
"Enough, already. It's Daniel's turn," Jack interrupted. "Sam give me a hand, a second."
"Yes, sir."
The two of them disappeared into Jack's kitchen.
"What was that all about?" Janet questioned.
"Don't know.....but I'd love to be a fly on the wall in there right now. I bet you anything he's trying to wring the information out of her," Daniel replied.
"It seemed to me as if O'Neill already knows the answer to your question," Teal'c announced.
He had remained silent during the previous conversation. Daniel had assumed that was because he didn't understand it.
"What are you saying, Teal'c?" Janet asked.
Teal'c just raised an eyebrow.
************************
"What the hell were you thinking, Samantha!" Jacob Carter yelled.
His daughter remained silent.
"You were damn lucky they let you stay and finish your exams!"
They only did that to keep their pass rate up. Sam had never failed an exam in her life. If she had really applied herself she could have been in college by now. Didn't seem worth the effort, though. It wasn't as if anyone was going to notice that she was a genius.
"Have you anything to say for yourself?" Jacob pushed.
"No, sir," Sam muttered.
"Get upstairs. I don't want to see you again tonight."
"I was going out...."
"You will not leave that room, understand!"
Sam didn't reply. She turned away from him, walking out of the living room, slamming the door with enough force to shake the house. First stop was her brother's room, to filch the packet of cigarettes she knew he had hidden under the floorboards. Seeing he'd also stashed some beer, she took that too. Mark wasn't due home until the weekend, she'd pay him back then.....assuming she ever got her allowance. Sam used the time honoured climbing out of an upstairs window technique to leave the house. It would be hours before her Dad would think to check on her.
It was going to be a long, hot summer, she decided. Sitting on a small grassy bank above the athletics field, Sam Carter took a sip of her beer, another drag from her cigarette and tried to imagine that she was a whole universe away. She stripped down to her tank top, enjoying the feel of the wind on her skin and the grass on her back. She was seventeen years old and annoyed as hell. Even the sight of a group of airmen shooting hoops did nothing to lighten her mood. She tuned out their shouts and lay back on the grass, looking up at the stars. It was getting late, but the air was still warm.
That's where she wanted to be, up there among the stars. It had been her dream ever since her mother had given her that Matt Mason doll. If Mom was here now......But Sam quickly pushed those thoughts away. If she allowed herself to think too much, her anger might disappear, and she didn't want that. She couldn't afford to stop hating her father, not yet. That would mean admitting that he was right and she was going to make a mess of her life.
Sam broke open a second beer. Sooner or later she would have to go home, but she was going to make certain that she was numb enough to deal with it.
"Hey!"
The shout broke through her melancholy thoughts. Sam looked up into the face of one of the airmen who had been playing basketball.
"Got a light?" he asked her.
"Sure."
Sam handed over her lighter. The rest of the players called out to their team mate, enticing him to return to the game.
"I'm gonna sit this one out!" he shouted back.
His reply was greeted by numerous comments from the field, but he ignored them, turning back to speak to Sam.
"So, you just outta basic?" he asked.
"Something like that," Sam replied. "Why?"
"Just I haven't seen you around here before."
He obviously thought she was older than seventeen and Sam didn't see any reason to tell him otherwise. In the dim light it was possible that he could make that kind of mistake. Besides, being charged with underage drinking wasn't something she wanted, not on top of everything else. The real clincher was the fact that he was drop dead gorgeous. He must have been in his early twenties, brown hair, deep brown eyes and when he smiled.....Sam felt her heart give a little jump.
"Jonathan," he introduced himself.
"Samantha."
Sam didn't really know what to say next. She looked down at the grass, hoping to think of something that sounded witty and intelligent. With an IQ in the genius level, she should have been able to come up with a coherent sentence.
"So, how long you been here?" he asked.
"Shipped in today," Sam replied, it was the truth....kinda.
"Anyone given you the grand tour yet?"
"No."
"Cool, that means I get to do it. Wanna go for a walk?"
"Sure."
Feeling unexpectedly shy, she took the hand he offered and let him help her up. Wolf whistles accompanied their departure and Sam felt herself blush. She hoped that no one had recognised her. The last thing she wanted was for some brown-nosing airman to go running to her father.
They walked slowly across the base, Jonathan pointing out landmarks that Sam knew only too well. They ended up sitting together in a secluded corner by the perimeter fence, finishing off Sam's beer and the last cigarettes. Sam didn't object. It wasn't often she got to be in the company of any guy, never mind one that was this good looking. Her Dad had managed to frighten off the only boys she had ever dated. Not that there's been many. There had been a time when she had been far more interested in her studies than the opposite sex.
"So what made you want to join up?" he asked.
Sam thought for a moment, wondering what was the most plausible reply. For some reason she decided on an answer close to the truth, "Promise you won't laugh."
"Cross my heart."
"I wanna be an astronaut."
Jonathan smirked.
"You're laughing!"
"No, I'm not! I think it's cool."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
He seemed genuinely impressed. Again, Sam felt her face burning.
"What about you?" she asked, wanting to divert his attention.
His smile faded, "A story for another time."
"Oh, OK."
Another time! Sam couldn't stop herself smiling. He wanted to see her again! Didn't he? Sam didn't even consider the fact that he was several years older than she was....or what her father would do to Jonathan if he ever found out.
"Look, I better be going," she said.
"I'll walk you back....." he offered.
"No, it's OK."
That was one thing she couldn't let him do. She hesitated a little, hoping that he'd say something else before she walked away.
"So.....Thanks for the tour. I guess I'll see you around," she began.
"You're welcome."
Another pause.
"I don't s'ppose...." he started.
"Yes?"
"Wanna catch a movie or something?"
"I'd like that."
"Saturday night? Pick you up at eight?"
"I'll meet you at the gatehouse."
***************************************************************************
"It's her, isn't it?" Kawalski whispered.
"Shut up," Jack replied through clenched teeth.
"I mean the short hair had me fooled for a while....."
"Can it, Charlie."
The briefing room was more or less empty, but Jack didn't want to take the chance that someone would overhear them. Kawalski, however was not to be distracted.
"How many years has it been?" he went on. "Fifteen, twenty?"
"She ain't that old," Jack protested.
"Ha, so I'm right!"
"I didn't say that."
Jack's pretence at ignorance wasn't working, maybe with someone other than Kowalski......But Charlie had been there. He had known this woman, however briefly, and he was not the kind of man who forgot easily. Neither was Jack. She was older now, she had to be right? That much made sense. Her hair was almost as short as when he'd last seen her, carefully styled. She wore a little more make up than she used to. But her smile was as heart stopping as ever.
"Remember the first time you saw her?" Kowalski asked. "Man, you were across there so fast I thought you were going to bust something."
"Lookin' like that, did you blame me?"
"Guess not. She's still pretty hot."
He remembered. How could he forget? It had been dusk on a warm night at the start of summer. She had been sitting on a small rise watching them play basketball, smoking and knocking back beer....despite the fact she hadn't been old enough, but he hadn't exactly known that at the time. She had looked older than her years. Dressed in a sweet little tank top number and a pair of shorts that had left very little to the imagination; tall, slim, gorgeous body, great legs. Her hair had been long then. She hadn't cut it until later on that summer. It was only as he started talking to her that he noticed something about her eyes. He recalled thinking that somehow, she already knew too much about pain.
And he'd only managed to bring her more.
Perhaps that's why he had been drawn to her. He'd just come back from a really lousy mission to East Germany. Close friends had died.....If he had been honest with himself, there was only one reason he had been so eager to make her acquaintance. He had wanted to forget and he saw her as a means of doing that. Luckily, he'd come to his senses fairly early on. He should have asked her more questions at the start and not assumed so much. Could have saved them both a lot of trouble.
Samantha Carter was the last person he had expected to walk back into his life. He'd felt his heart give an uneasy lurch as she come into the room. It was obvious that she didn't recognise him. Maybe she didn't remember. No, that couldn't be true. She just didn't relate him with the man she had known so many years ago. After all there was more than one Jonathan O'Neill in the USAF.
"So, you two gonna pick up where you left off?" Kowalski asked.
"What, you wanna get us Court Martialled before we even get through the damn gate."
"Since when have you been so keen on the regs?"
"Can't afford to make the same mistake twice, Kowalski. Now shut up and get your butt in gear.... that's an order."
Walking out of the briefing room Jack found himself wondering exactly who was sharing her life now? There had to be someone....right? Hell, he shouldn't even be thinking this way. For the duration of this mission she was under his command and hence out of bounds. Besides, she was too young for him. That was one thing he couldn't allow himself to forget.
****************
"The Wizard of Oz?" Sam questioned.
She could honestly say that this was the last film she had expected.
"You seen it?" he asked.
"Only on TV," she admitted.
"This'll make a difference, I promise."
Sam shook her head in bemusement. And to think she had been worried in case he wanted to see an R rated movie. He took her hand as he led her into the darkened theatre. They were almost late, due to Jonathan's insistence on buying them popcorn and sodas.
This date was turning out to be less stressful than she had anticipated. After a long time agonising over what she should wear, Sam had settled on a T-shirt and jeans, hoping that she didn't look too young. She was happy to note that Jonathan was dressed in similar style. His smile when they met was enough to give her some reassurance. She must look OK, she reasoned. He kept up a steady flow of conversation as they drove into town. He was really funny, Sam realised, she couldn't stop giggling. Jonathan obviously didn't mind, in fact he seem encouraged by her appreciation of his sense of humour. She got the feeling that he hadn't had much cause to laugh recently.
There were only about half a dozen people in the theatre. The Wizard of Oz obviously wasn't very popular with the late evening crowd. But in Sam's mind it was perfect. As the familiar opening credits rolled, Sam actually felt herself relaxing. This was fun. For the past few years, her life had consisted of nothing more than school work, arguments with her father.....locking herself away from the rest of the world. It seemed to have been a very long time since she had been able to take pleasure in anything as simple as watching a movie. Maybe things would have been a little better if her brother had been around more often? But he wasn't. Mark barely stayed in the house anymore. He couldn't see that his little sister needed him.
"Hey," Jonathan whispered, "Are you OK?"
"Yes, fine...why?"
"You seemed to zone out for a second there....either that or you wanted me to eat the rest of your popcorn."
Sam giggled, and moved the remains out of his reach. He wasn't so easily fooled. Stretching his arm over her shoulders, he managed to snatch a couple more kernels. His arm stayed there for the rest of the film. Came in useful when the movie came to an end, and Sam started sniffing in a suspicious fashion.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I always cry at the end," Sam had admitted, "when Dorothy has to leave the Scarecrow. Doesn't seem right somehow......now you're laughing at me!"
"No, I'm not, honest."
While they had been talking, the theatre had emptied. Sam was a little disappointed that it had ended so soon. Now all she had to look forward to was a short drive back to the base.....that and trying to sneak back into the house. There were only so many trees one could climb of a weekend. If Jonathan ever asked her anywhere more up market, she was screwed. She could just imagine shimmying down from the second floor in a dress and heels. That was assuming he ever asked her out again.
"You up for something to eat?" he asked as they stepped back out into the street.
Sam hesitated for a second. She should really get back. The less time she was away the less likely she was to get caught. On the other hand she did want to spend some more time with Jonathan......if he wasn't just asking her in order to be polite. What if he did want to get rid of her but was too nice to say so?
"Samantha?" he asked.
"Sorry, I was just thinking....," she mumbled. "I do that too much sometimes."
"I asked if you wanted to stop for something to eat?"
"If you want the truth....I'm starving."
"I know a great place."
He took her hand and led her across the road. At first she was a little worried about the amount of food she ordered. She had been too nervous to eat earlier. Jonathan didn't seem offended, even though he was picking up the check. They ate, talked, drank numerous cups of coffee....It was gone midnight before they finally left. The night air had cooled sufficiently to make Jonathan's arm about her shoulders doubly welcome. Sam didn't want the evening to end, but all too soon they were saying goodnight. He let his lips gently brush against her cheek before he headed back to the barracks.
Sam ran most of the way back to the house, but when she got there she realised that she needn't of bothered. She heard the shouts a hundred yards down the road. Mark was obviously home. No one would have noticed if she tap danced through the living room naked. Even so, she used the tree to gain access to her bedroom. It sounded as if her brother and her father had been at it for hours. They had degenerated to name calling. If things ran to plan they would run out of insults fairly soon. Sam crawled into bed, pulling the pillow over her head in an attempt to drown out the noise. Despite her own arguments with her father, she hated it when he and her brother fought. It seemed worse somehow. There was a deep seated hatred that hadn't diminished in the years since her mother had died. The very thought made her want to curl up in a corner and cry her eyes out. But she couldn't do that. Samantha Carter had always been taught that there was something shameful about tears. So she bottled it up inside, trying to ignore the fact that her family life was falling apart without her mother's guiding light. It made her time with Jonathan seem doubly sweet.
Samantha wasn't certain about her feelings. If she didn't know better, the first stirrings of deep emotion were welling up in her heart. Jonathan seemed to be the first person who had showed her any kind of affection in a very long time.
***************************************************************************
"Sam?"
Jack handed her the glass of punch before turning his attention to the two men who were standing with her. Oh shit! He looked at the General and a flash of recognition passed between them.
"Thank you, sir," Sam replied.
"Colonel Jack O'Neill, General Jacob Carter," General Hammond made the unnecessary introduction.
"Carter? As in?" Jack questioned, his voice going up an octave. This was one General he had hoped never to see again.
"My father, sir. Yes," Sam replied
"Get outta town! Sam's Dad? I've heard nothing about you, sir."
Great move, Jack. When in doubt act dumb. It was a technique that had served him very well over the years....although he suspected that Jacob Carter wasn't fooled for a second. The two men shook hands.
"What is there to say about an old General waiting to retire," Jacob returned.
"I talk about you all the time, Dad," Sam interrupted.
That wasn't true, Sam had never mentioned her father in the year they had been serving together and Jack had never asked. But he could tell by the tone of her voice that she was uncomfortable with the whole situation. She sounded like she was about to argue with her father, so Jack spoke again.
"Retired myself one time, just couldn't stay away."
"From your analysis of deep space radar telemetry?" Jacob returned.
"Well, it's just so damn fascinating."
"I'm sure it is....otherwise you wouldn't be receiving the Air Medal."
Her father obviously didn't believe a word of their cover story.
"We have our moments."
Jack couldn't stop himself glancing across at Sam and smiling at her. She grinned back with open affection. His expression softened a little at the sight. He loved it when she looked like that. God, how was he supposed to convince her father that he was being a good commanding officer if he couldn't stop himself acting like a schoolboy in her presence. It was probably time to make a smart exit.
"Ah...will you excuse me. We just don't get out of Cheyenne mountain enough. I'm going to grab some air....outside.....General....Captain...General....waiter!"
He found himself unable to leave fast enough, and ran up the stairs despite his protesting knees. After all this time he was still more than a little intimidated by Sam's dad. It wasn't like they were doing anything to break those damn regulations. Not that he didn't want to. The grown-up Sam was just as beguiling as the girl had been....more so if that was possible.
They had never discussed their previous relationship. At first Jack had thought that she simply didn't want remember....but he knew that wasn't quite true. Sometimes, she'd say something or look at him a certain way....And she was still under his command, which made the situation even more frustrating. Oh, he could have arranged for her to be transferred, but Sam would have never forgiven him. SG1 was the best team on the base and she needed that. So Jack had locked his feelings away and contented himself with just being her friend.
***************************************************************************
"What's that one?" Sam demanded sitting up and pointing upwards.
"Vega," Jonathan replied, promptly.
"And that group of stars, the bright ones?"
"Cassiopeia."
Sam lay back in the long grass, narrowing her eyes as she tried to judge the interstellar distances involved. Jonathan rolled onto his side and smiled down at her. He placed a finger on her mouth.
"You definitely think too much."
Sam held her breath as he traced the contours of her lips. His fingers slid down her jar as he gently tilted her face to meet his own. Her eyes fluttered closed and a shiver ran through her body as he deepened the kiss. His tongue slipped deftly between her lips, sliding against hers for a brief tantalising second before he broke away. It wasn't quite her first, but previous adolescent groping didn't really compare. This man really knew what he was doing, she decided. She smiled shyly at him, hoping that he'd kiss her again, but he just drew her close to his side.
"Now just relax, or you won't see anything," he told her.
Sam did her best, but she found it difficult to concentrate on the stars when Jonathan was holding her. The warmth of his body flooded through to her own. They were both wearing shorts, and she could feel a layer of sweat forming where their legs made contact. His hand was tracing absent patterns across her back, adding a further distraction. She squeezed her eyes tight shut, attempting to shut out the new sensations he was arousing. It wasn't even overtly sexual, more of a feeling of being safe and cared for.
"Woa.....did you see that?" he asked.
"No," she had to admit, opening her eyes again.
"Keep your eyes on ...... That's where they're comin' from."
He was right, a couple of minutes later a trail of fire arced across the sky. Sam found herself gripping his arm. There was something almost frightening about watching a heavenly body fall from the sky.
"How fast do you think it was going?" she asked.
"Sammie, stop sucking the fun out of this."
But he was smiling at her, already used to her desire to understand everything. It was only as a result of her relationship with this man that she was again feeling the need to learn.....almost as if she was rediscovering herself.
"So, I was thinking...." he began.
"'bout what?" Sam replied.
"Taking a little road trip."
Sam sat up, surprised and slightly hurt that he was thinking about leaving.
"When?" she demanded.
"I've got some leave coming up next week."
"Next week?"
"Yeah, and I was wondering about going down to Florida."
"Why?"
She couldn't stop herself snapping at him. When he tried to put his arm about her, she pulled away, scrambling to her feet.
"Samantha? What's wrong?" he asked.
"You're going away."
"I was asking you to come with me."
"With you?"
The words didn't register at first. In a few seconds she had convinced herself that he was just going to leave her, and this was his way of saying goodbye. Jonathan stood up, grinning.
"Yeah. I've got some friends over at NASA and Challenger is due to launch.....I thought we could go."
"Really?"
"Yes, really!"
He was laughing at her, but Sam didn't care. She flung herself at him with enough force to send them both crashing to the ground in a tangle of arms and legs. Jonathan rolled them both so her body rested beneath his.
"A take it that's a yes?"
"Yes."
"Good."
He pressed a brief kiss to her lips before moving off her, returning to his previous position at her side.
"Now watch," he told her, "And the next shooting star you see, make a wish."
***************************************************************************
She was gone.
Jack lay helpless on the floor, writhing with agony. He was vaguely aware of Daniel at his side, binding his leg.
"Most of the wound appears cauterised but there may be bleeding beneath the surface," Martouf advised.
Daniel pulled the tourniquet tight, sending a flash of intense pain directly up Jack's right side.
"Easy!" O'Neill heard himself hiss.
The archaeologist took no notice and gave the makeshift dressing another tug.
"Son of a......," Jack began, his voice fading to a whisper, "Sam.....God...."
Sam was gone....God only knew what that bastard was doing to her.
"We need to move him," Daniel said. "Over there, next to Jacob.....Jack, we're going to try and make you comfortable."
He nodded his acceptance. The two able bodied men dragged him over to the wall. Someone placed a jacket under his head but Jack was having none of it. He struggled to get up, only to have Daniel push him back down.
"Sam?"
"There was nothing you could have done, now try to lie still," Daniel said, gently.
"'kay."
Jack agreed with him, hoping that he gather enough strength to go after her. He'd fallen out of a plane, been shot, frost-bitten....a whole list of injuries but nothing hurt like this. His whole leg felt like it was on fire.
"Drink this, it will help," Martouf said, placing a plastic capsule to his lips and squeezing the contents into his mouth.
The taste was almost enough to make him throw up, but Marty was right, it did dim the pain a little.
"Taste's like crap," he muttered.
"I know."
Jacob Carter was barely conscious, but he managed to reply to Jack's throwaway comment. Jack turned towards Sam's father. It was almost ironic. Who'd have thought that they'd be dying together?
"Jack?" Jacob asked.
"Yeah?"
"I don't think I have much longer."
"Crap, we'll get you out of here....or make that Sam, Daniel and Marty..."
"This isn't the first time I've been dying. Where's Sam?"
"Just gone to find some food."
Lying to the man was probably the least Jack could do for him. He didn't need to know what had happened to his daughter.
"If I don't make it....look after her for me."
"Sir..."
"Promise me, Jack."
"You know I will."
"Good......"
"So you finally forgive me, huh?"
"If you hurt my daughter again, I'll come back and haunt you."
The man's words faded as Jacob Carter lost his battle with consciousness. Jack was only remaining awake by a supreme act of will. He couldn't allow himself to pass out....not while Sam was in danger. Although what he could do if the opportunity arose......
They kept her for almost an hour and dragged her back unconscious. She was dumped down close to him. Jack reached out, groping for the pulse point in her neck. There was a welcome flutter under his fingertips. He let his hand drift down her smooth throat, then back upwards, gently caressing her cheek. Thank God she was alive. He didn't know what he would have done if......
His thoughts were interrupted by another flash of pain at the guards pulled him to his feet. He immediately collapsed again.
"Walk!" one of them snapped.
"Not that I want to be uncooperative but we may have a little problem here. If you remember I'm the one you shot...under no provocation whatsoever.....," Jack replied.
"Kill the woman."
"No!"
The staff was raised, but Jack managed to drag himself up and placed his body between the weapon and Sam's prone form
"I'll come....but I don't promise to be quiet about it."
***************************************************************************
Sam told her father that she was going to visit a school friend. For once he hadn't made any objection....which made her feel doubly bad about deceiving him. Then again, there was no way that she could tell him who she was really going away with. He must have been in a good mood because he actually asked if she wanted a lift to the bus station. Either that or he was trying to find out exactly why his daughter was spending so much time out of the house. Whatever, Sam tried to forget him the second she was out of view of the base.
Now they were actually on the road, Sam started to feel nervous. She wasn't quite certain exactly what Jonathan was expecting from her. Her entire experience stopped at a few kisses and she was scared that he might want more than she was able to give him. After all, Jon, as she taken to calling him, was far older than she was. What would he do of she said no? She kept telling herself than he was a good guy....even so.....
"Mind some music?" Jon asked her.
"What?"
"Music?"
"Sure."
He was going to think that she had gone nuts, Sam realised. She shook herself mentally. After all, she was here to have fun. Jon was fumbling with a tape. Smiling, Sam took it from him and inserted it in the machine. Strains of Bizet flooded out of the speakers, causing her to look at him. Attention on the road, he didn't notice the way she was staring. This man was continually surprising her.
By the time they stopped for the night, Sam had allowed herself to relax a little. They went out to eat, had a couple of beers, and generally enjoyed each other's company. Even so, she found herself taking an extraordinarily long time in the bathroom, to put off the moment when she'd have to face Jon in the bedroom. She looked herself in the mirror. Shorts and a rather scruffy looking T-shirt, what had she been thinking? He was going to take one look at her and fall about laughing.
"Sammie, you OK in there?" he shouted through the door.
"Just a minute," she yelled back.
Great, now he was going to expect something special and what he was ending up with was a kid who was scared out of her mind. There was nothing for it, she couldn't spend the night in here. Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the door and stepped out.
"'bout time," Jon grinned. "I was just about to break down the door. "
He moved past her, sliding a hand across her waist as he did so. Sam jumped slightly at the contact. But his disappearance gave her time to crawl into the bed. She rolled on her side facing away from the bathroom door. Maybe, if he thought she'd gone to sleep....... With her eyes tight shut, she heard him come out of the bathroom. The mattress dipped as he climbed in beside her and she tensed as she felt him move closer. His chest was touching her back and one of his arms was draped over her. Sam felt her body start to shake.
"Sammie?" he questioned.
She stayed quiet.
"Hey," he whispered, "this bothering you."
"A little," she admitted.
"Look at me, Samantha."
Obediently, she rolled over to face him. He reached out and tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. There was no laughter in his eyes, only concern.
"I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to," he reassured her. "If you like, I could sleep on the floor."
"No."
She didn't want him to stop holding her. That much she was sure of.
"Good....coz it looks damn uncomfortable," he joked.
Sam giggled, burying her head into his chest. Jon's arms tightened around her and his tender touch soothed her into sleep.
***************************************************************************
"I made a wish, sir," Sam said to him as they walked off of the base. "When that meteor was coming towards the gate."
"What?" Jack replied a little curtly.
He couldn't help himself. Just when he'd thought that he'd got Sam out of his system she'd come bursting back into his life to 'rescue' him. He was beginning to think that she did it on purpose.
"Bad luck to tell," she went on.
She gave him a nervous smile. Jack wasn't really in the mood for this. He didn't appreciate her attempts to cheer him up. Her gentle teasing wasn't what he needed right now. What he needed was.....? Laira? No what he needed was a woman who was free to love him. Sam would always remain elusively out of reach. That was what was making him cranky. Now he had to go back to seeing her every day.....and knowing exactly how much he was in love with her.
He was going home for the first time in three months. It was difficult enough without......
"I got you something," she said.
The package she handed him was obviously a CD. He ripped open the packaging; it was a copy of Carmen.
"Sam?" he questioned.
She just shrugged, unwilling to offer any more explanation. Jack turned away from her only to be stopped by her voice,
"I missed you, sir."
"You did?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Oh."
As conversations went, this wasn't one of their best, but Jack couldn't stop the thread of joy that wormed its way into his heart. He knew he should say something else, but he didn't know what.....or maybe he did.
"So what were you trying to tell me earlier on.....'bout the gate being horizontal or something?"
It was his way of apologising for his behaviour and Sam knew it. She actually flushed with pleasure as she started her explanation again. Jack nodded in what he thought were appropriate places. Listening to Sam was the least he could do. It wasn't her fault that he hadn't needed rescuing.
".....then Teal'c went through and we waited. Must have been a close run thing, though. By my calculations he must have almost been out of air."
"Wait a second," Jack stopped her.
Something wasn't right here. Teal'c hadn't mentioned that his oxygen had been running out.
"What time did you close the gate?" he asked.
"0900 Earth time, why?" Sam asked.
"Which is about 0700 on Edora. .....Dammit to hell!"
Jack slammed an angry fist into the concrete wall, barely registering the pain.
"Sir?" Sam questioned, concerned by his behaviour.
Taking a deep breath, he calmed down enough to offer he an explanation.
"Laira didn't tell me until lunch. Teal'c was stuck in that hole for four hours, when he needn't have been. He coulda died for cryin' out loud."
"Maybe she didn't understand what was happening?"
"No. She saw us use the radios often enough. Hell, you even showed her how ......"
"Oh."
"Exactly.....ow shit!"
He'd hit the wall again and this time it hurt.
"Sir....," Sam said again. Jack really wished she'd stop using that damn word. He was angry because he'd let himself loving another woman, only to find out that she'd betrayed him. And now his hand hurt. Jack shoved the bruised flesh into his mouth and tried to suck the pain out. Sam took his hand in hers and examined it for damage.
"She cared for you," she began, "she was scared of losing you."
The explanations did little to curb his anger. A nagging voice was asking him what he would have done if it had been Sam trapped down there.
"Say that was true.....what would you have done? I mean when that double of me went to Sara, you told me about it. How long did you have to think?"
"I didn't," Sam admitted, "but the situation is hardly the same."
"Isn't it?"
Sam's eyes became troubled. She knew that her reaction would have been different, even so it wasn't something she would ever let herself admit to him. Jack took a step towards her, cupping her face with his good hand. At first she leaned into the caress, relishing the contact. But the moment was over far too soon and Sam tore herself away from him.
"You'd better get that hand looked at," she told him before walking away.
***************************************************************************
"One day, that'll be you," Jon whispered in her ear.
Sam didn't reply, her were eyes fixed on the diminishing speck that was Challenger.
"Oh God, Jon.....That was...."
She couldn't find the words. It had to be the most awe inspiring sight........ Television was no substitute for seeing the shuttle launch with her own eyes. If there was a future for man, Sam believed she had just seen it leap towards the heavens.
"Thank you," she told Jon, when she had breath to speak.
"You're welcome," he returned, placing a tender kiss on her neck.
Sam stood there long after the vapour trail had vanished, in some kind of golden dream. She wasn't just travelling into space, she was going to other planets. It was a stupid, childish even, but somehow she couldn't stop herself becoming lost in the fantasy. The really weird thing was, she couldn't get the image of Jon out of her mind. Wherever her imagination took her, Jon was always there; making some joke or a sarcastic comment. The thought made her smile. It was as if their futures were bound together in some way.
"Hey," he said, gently. "You got gum on your feat or something?"
Most of the crowd had drifted away, Sam realised, slightly embarrassed. How long had she been standing there gawking at the sky?
"Sorry," she mumbled.
"No sweat," he told her.
There was understanding in Jon's eyes....as if he sometimes had wonderful dreams of his own. When she'd first met him, his eyes had been clouded with pain.....as her own had been. Despite his relative youth, Sam had the feeling that he'd seen far too much in his life. Their time together had been cathartic. She barely understood what was happening between them, but she knew it was something special. The word love had crossed her mind, but she dismissed it. They had only being seeing each other for six weeks, it just wasn't possible that she should care so much about him.
"Ready for the tour?" he asked.
Sam nodded. This was fast turning out to be the best day of her life. Jon definitely had the right connections, she realised as they were escorted round the facility. He kept quiet alot of the time, just trailing after her and a their guide, listening as she asked a million questions. In fact, she felt a little embarrassed, but he didn't seem to be left out. He obviously found the actual mechanics fascinating and she had to laugh when he was caught touching something he shouldn't. Sam found herself getting immersed in the technical discussions, understanding far more than she thought possible. Even so, she was going to have to work a darn sight harder at school to even have a chance of getting here.
"Still wanna be an astronaut?" Jon asked when they managed to tear themselves away.
"Absolutely," she grinned back.
"Good."
"Don't you think it would be amazing?"
"Sure, I thought about getting reassed to NASA.....but I don't really like the strapped to a rocket thing."
"What, you just wanna get there by stepping through a doorway?"
"Hey, someone builds it, I'll walk through it!"
Sam laughed, it was a pretty far fetched notion. She reached over and laid her hand on his thigh.
"Thank you, for today. It's the best thing anyone's ever done for me."
"Hey, it's not over yet, tomorrow we go to Disneyland."
He grinned at her. If she didn't know better she would have thought that he was more enthusiastic about that aspect of the trip than their day at Kennedy. Sometimes, he didn't like to give the impression that he got as excited about space travel as she did. It was a habit she actually found endearing.
She kept her hand on his leg as they drove back to Orlando.
Jon had booked them into a hotel close to the airport. They took a swim in the pool before eating dinner in the restaurant. Sam was now feeling a lot more relaxed around him and she was so buzzed by the excitement of the day that she let the goodnight kiss become more intense than usual. They were both breathing heavily when he finally drew back.
"Sammie?" he questioned.
Sam found herself smiling at him. Dammit, but she loved this man. There was no other word to describe the way she was feeling. He ran a finger from the nape of her neck to her hip, eliciting a shiver of pleasure. When his hand travelled back it slipped under her shirt, leaving a trail of fire on her skin.
"Tell me what you want, Sammie?" he whispered.
"I just want you," she returned.
Sam surrendered herself to his slow seduction of her senses.
***************************************************************************
"Sir, radiation is spiking, it's at 300%," Sam called out, her attention focused on the meter.
"What?" Jack he snapped, crossing over to her side. Was it his imagination, or was there some kind of light emanating from the crystal skull? Whatever? Standing closer to Sam, he found the feint trace of her perfume far more distracting. Was that lavender he could smell? It was a very subtle fragrance....distinctly Sam.
"400," she continued.
That was it. Jack'd had enough. He didn't want to know about any great archaeological finds or changing the face of physics, he just wanted to get his team home safely.
"All right that's it, we're outta here.......Daniel?" he ordered.
If anything the pyrotechnic display was increasing in it's intensity and Daniel was standing right in front of the damn thing. What the hell was wrong with the guy? Didn't he have any concept of danger? Teal'c obviously agreed with the Jack's assessment of the situation, because he drew his Zat and fired at the skull. Daniel vanished.
"Where'd he go?" Jack heard himself demand.
"He seemed to disappear," Teal'c replied.
"Sir, these reading are of the scale now, if we don't leave soon we're......" Sam began.
There was something about her voice that wasn't quite right. Jack never did pinpoint exactly what that something was, but when she crumpled to the floor he was ready to catch her. Without ceremony he slung her over his shoulders and started to run back towards the Stargate.
"Teal'c get outta there!" he yelled.
On reflection it probably would have been better to let the bigger man take her, but Jack simply didn't think of it. His entire being was flung into the effort of getting Sam to safety. She wasn't that heavy....or so he thought at the start of the run, but his own body was rapidly succumbing to the effect of the radiation. Her perfume was definitely lavender, he realised, and then berated himself for becoming distracted. He also noted that she'd managed to keep hold of her beloved dohicky....even though she was unconscious. It was typical Sam.
Even after he'd got out of the pyramid, the Stargate seemed a very long way away. Teal'c came up close behind him,
"I will take Major Carter," he offered.
"No," Jack panted.
He didn't have the breath for any other words. Every muscle was on fire, but he would not relinquish his burden.....not even to his most trusted companion. His body might protest, but Jack kept on putting one foot in front of the other. It wasn't that he didn't trust Teal'c, but he trusted himself more, especially as far as Sam's safety was concerned.
When they reached the gate, Jack let Sam slide from his shoulders, supporting her against his side while Teal'c dialled home. She seemed to become slightly more conscious,
"What you doin'?" she mumbled.
"Shh...we'll...get you home," he reassured her.
There wasn't any reply, she'd blacked out again. Jack could feel his own consciousness fading as the Gate sprung into life. He ran towards it, pulling Sam along with him. Next thing he knew they were all back in the Gateroom, staring at General Hammond's shoes.
"Get a medical team in here," the General ordered.
Jack managed to raise his head, slightly.
"Where's Dr. Jackson? Hammond pushed.
But not one of the remaining members of SG1 was able to answer.
***************************************************************************
"It'll be OK," Jon reassured her.
He then slung his arm over her shoulders and guided her into the bar.
"Yo Jack!" a voice yelled from over by the pool table.
"Charlie!" Jon greeted the other man.
"Jack?" Sam questioned.
"The guys call me that coz there was another Jon on my team. C'mon I'll introduce you."
Sam found herself hanging back a little. This was a moment she'd been dreading.
"So this is the reason you've been neglecting your friends," the one called Charlie commented, looking her up and down. She felt herself blush at his scrutiny.
"You look great," Jon whispered in her ear. He ran a possessive hand down her body, just brushing the curve of her breast. Sam leaned into his touch, it was a promise of how the night would end. She smiled softly to herself in anticipation.
She wasn't so sure about how good she looked. In these new, unfamiliar surroundings, she felt like a gawky kid. Maybe that was because she was, she thought to herself. Jon had already bought her a beer and she gulped it down thankfully, hoping to find enough Dutch Courage to get through the rest of the evening. She regretted ever letting Jon talk her into this.
"Hey," Charlie was speaking to her, "you wanna play?"
Sam cast a desperate look towards Jon, but he was deep in conversation.
"Jack told me that you hung him out to dry. Let's see how you do against the master," he pushed.
Charlie seemed OK, so she gestured her agreement. If she was playing pool she would have an excuse not to involve herself in conversation. All of these men were under her father's command. She'd give fairly good odds that one of them might know who she was. Sam just had to hope that Jon's friends were as trustworthy as he claimed.
"How the hell did you do that?" Charlie exclaimed as Sam sent the eight ball into the corner pocket.
"It's a math thing," she replied.
She crossed over to Jon and helped herself to his beer. He kissed her in a fairly obscene fashion, pleased by her success. There was a rousing cheer as he did so and Sam felt herself blush bright red. She wasn't used to having an audience. Despite her previous misgivings she was actually having a good time. She had worried about being a lone woman in a crowd of men, but her worries had come to nothing. Sam found that she could talk about cars and hockey with the best of them. Jon was sitting next to her, his arm draped over her shoulders, giving the clear signal that she belonged to him. Anyone else could look but not touch. Sam had never really thought of herself as attractive, but by the appreciative glances she was getting tonight, she began to revise her opinion a little.
When she ducked out to go to the bathroom, she took a little time to glance at herself in the mirror. Her makeup hadn't smudged too badly...which was a surprise. She made the necessary repairs and prepared to rejoin Jon. As she left the ladies room, she felt a strong hand on her arm. At first she thought it was Jon, but the grip was too tight to belong to him. She turned in annoyance to face the man who was restraining her. Sam recognised him vaguely, she'd seen him on the base but he wasn't one of Jon's friends. She tried to pull herself out of his grasp, but he was too strong for her.
"You're General Carter's kid?" he sneered.
"Let go, creep!" she spat back.
"I knew it. Bet daddy don't know your here....."
"I'll scream."
".....or that you're screwing Captain 'hero boy' O'Neill."
"Fuck you!"
"That's what I had in mind."
Sam was getting scared and she couldn't seem to wriggle free. She'd already been ages, Jon would come looking for her.....or so she hoped. There was a fire escape at the end of the corridor and the man started to drag her towards it. Sam opened her mouth to yell, but he clamped a hand over it. Next thing she knew, she was outside. The night air cold against her skin, the wall of the building hard against her back. His hands were on her body, tearing at her T-shirt. Sam, experienced on terrifying moment of pure fear before she reacted. Luckily, the man was drunk and wasn't expecting her to fight back. A knee in his groin was all it took to loosen his grip and tear herself free.
She ran back into the bar, looking for Jon. He was still sitting where she had left him.
"Jon, can we leave please?" she asked.
"Why? Sammie, what's wrong?"
"Just get me out of here."
"Sure."
Jon could see that she was upset about something. He grabbed their jackets and escorted her outside. Sam leaned against him heavily, feeling slightly sick.
"Gonna tell me?" he asked.
"Some guy grabbed me while I was coming out of the bathroom," she admitted.
"What! Shit, Sam, are you OK?"
"I....think so....just a little shaky."
"Where is the creep? I'll pin his ass to the wall."
"Don't worry, I did it for you."
"We should go to the cops."
"No."
"Sam?"
"I said no. Just take me back to your place...please."
Sam couldn't report the incident, but not for the reasons he thought. Hell, she shouldn't have even been there. If someone found out that she wasn't twenty-one......
She wanted, more than anything, for him to make love to her. When they were back at his quarters Jon complied and Sam managed to lose herself in the physical sensations. Afterwards, she lay in his arms, feeling safe from anything that could harm her.
"What the hell?" she heard Jon mutter.
Sam was only vaguely aware that there was someone knocking on the door.
"Ignore it," she mumbled into the pillow.
"Can't do that, honey."
He dropped a kiss on the back of her neck and scrambled out of bed. She heard him blundering about in the dark, trying to find his pants. A couple of minutes later the door opened.
"What?" Jon's voice snapped, followed by a very respectful, "General? Something I can do for you, sir?"
"My daughter?" a very familiar voice replied.
Sam shot up in bed. Dad, here? How the hell? Whatever he couldn't see her like this. She made a move to get up but the sheets were tangled about her legs. Before she could manage to kick herself free the light had been switched on and she was looking into the face of a very angry man.
"Get up," he ordered.
"Dad....." Sam began.
"I don't want to hear it."
"Sir," Jon started to interrupt. "Permission to speak...."
"Denied! Now move it Samantha."
She opened her mouth to argue again, but one look at her father's face stopped any words. This would be worse for Jon if she refused. Sam pulled the sheet more tightly round herself and started to look for her clothes. Jacob grasped her by the arm and started to march her out.
"For cryin' out loud," Jon couldn't help himself, "at least let her get dressed....."
"Front and centre airman!" Jacob returned.
"Sir!"
"You will not see my daughter again, do I make myself clear?"
"With due respect, isn't that Sam's decision?"
"Not while she still lives under my roof."
"She's an adult...."
"Sam is seventeen years old, she doesn't know what she wants."
"Seventeen....?"
Jon looked at her. Sam tried to meet his eyes but failed. The fight was knocked out of her by his disappointment. Without another word she let her father take her out of the room.
"Did he hurt you?" Jacob demanded when they were back at home.
"No," Sam whispered.
"Good. Now go to bed. "
"What's going to happen to Jon?"
"He'll be transferred."
"Why?"
"I want him as far away from you as possible."
"That's not fair!"
"No, it isn't, but I will not stand by and watch him help you screw up your life. You're doing a good enough job by yourself. It's lucky for you that I found out when I did."
Suddenly everything clicked into place.
"Don't tell me, you got a tip off from a concerned airman in a bar in town?"
She knew by her father's silence that her words were true. Damn that little creep! Jon had been right, they should have reported him.
"Just for information, your concerned 'friend' threatened me, then tried to rape me.....and is probably going to be singing several octaves higher for the next couple of days."
With those words she turned and walked up the stairs to her room.
***************************************************************************
Jack looked down at Sam and smiled to himself. It didn't seem fair to wake her, she was obviously too tired to do much in the way of stargazing tonight. Bending down, Jack picked her up in his arms and carried her the short distance back to their rudimentary campsite. A fire was burning in the centre of the clearing and a crude shelter had been built in the shade of a group of trees. It was basic, but it was good enough to keep them alive until the gate to Earth re-opened.
"Is MajorCarter well?" Teal'c asked, as Jack laid her down in the shelter.
"Just tired," Jack whispered, "she spent a long time working on the DHD today."
"I did not realise that is was malfunctioning?"
"It wasn't, but you know Carter, she has to have something to play with."
Jack stripped off his vest and prepared to take his place at her side.
"O'Neill?" Teal'c voice was quiet, not wanting to disturb Sam.
"What?" Jack snapped back.
"Is this wise? You have told me many times that you and MajorCarter cannot pursue a relationship."
"So? We're just keeping each other warm."
Teal'c just raised his eyebrow, "You care about MajorCarter," he stated.
It wasn't something that Jack was in a position to deny, "Go and Kel Nor Reem, Teal'c, an' leave me alone."
Jack lay on his back, studiously ignoring his friend. Any man who would voluntarily grow that kind of facial hair wasn't really worth listening to. His own face had been scraped clean using a field knife....not the best way to get a close shave, but adequate.
Sam sighed from the depths of her slumber. From experience, Jack knew that she would soon shift from her back onto her stomach.....her favoured sleeping position. They were stuck here with minimal supplies and they were damn lucky that the local fauna was edible, and that the weather was clement. Even so the nights could get a little chilly. Teal'c didn't seem to be bothered, but Sam and Jack had taken to sleeping close together. Or had tried to. Every night they went to sleep facing away from each other.....By morning, he was on his back, Sam was flat on her front, one of her legs nestled between his and an arm across his waist. At least they were warm, Jack rationalised to himself. Perhaps he really shouldn't enjoy it so much....but he was only human after all.
As expected Sam shifted. With a delicious wriggle, she unconsciously flopped over, draping herself across his body. Life really didn't get much better than this, Jack decided. A little peace and quiet, good fishing and Sam. Right at this moment he didn't really care if they got back to Earth or not. Okay, maybe he'd miss Danny, but this would be harder to give up. After all he'd been through withdrawal once already, he knew what he was letting himself in for. Maybe, it would be different when they got back.
Reaching out he twined his fingers in strands of her hair. It was getting longer, making her face look thinner somehow, drawing attention to her gorgeous eyes. Those eyes were screwed up tightly as she slept. Sam always did that, and Jack found it incredibly cute. He knew all her habits far too well. If they were in a bed, she would have kicked the covers off by now. Jack found his thoughts wandering in distracting directions. Did she still do that? And wonder why she got cold in the middle of the night?
When she made love did she still cry out, intermingled with the softest of sighs?
***************************************************************************
Sam couldn't believe what was happening to her. Jon had gone and she'd never had the chance to say goodbye. There had been nothing from him, no messages.....nothing. Charlie had been the one to let her know....but even he had no idea where his friend had been transferred to. Either that or he was just keeping the information from her....That made more sense. Her father had probably ordered him not to say anything.
At first she had coped reasonably well. She went out and got her hair cut, new clothes, ate ice cream.....all the things a girl is supposed to do when she's had her heart broken. Six weeks later she began to suspect that something wasn't right. Her body was giving her signals that she didn't want to believe. They had been careful, that much she had made certain of. There was just the one time.....but that once was all it took, she reminded herself. What the hell would her father do when he found out? Although she admitted that it would probably be worse for Jon than herself. He had been painted as the bad guy in all of this. It wasn't his fault, Sam had told him so many lies that she no longer knew where the truth began. Which was probably why he hadn't called. Honesty was the one trait that Jon valued above everything else and Sam couldn't help feeling that she'd betrayed him.
Samantha Carter was seventeen years old. She thought she was pregnant and she was very, very scared.
She had tried everything she could think of, from violent exercise to carrying heavy weights.......anything to force this reality to change and had cried herself to sleep every night for a week. If her father noticed any change, he didn't comment. His daughter stopped arguing with him.....which should have been signal enough. In fact, he barely saw her. Sam convinced herself that he could no longer stand to be in the same room. If she ever needed his love and support it was now. As for Mark.....her mind flashed back to the conversation they'd had a few weeks back, while Jon had still been here.......
"So who is he?" Mark asked.
"What do you mean?"
Sam felt her cheeks burn at her brother's inquiry. Mark laughed as he came into her room. He took the make-up brush from her hand and waved it in front of her face.
"My little sister is suddenly all grown up."
Sam looked at her brother in horror. How the hell did he know? Had she really changed that much?
"You wear it well," he smiled. "Little Sammie is looking happy again."
"Are you going to tell Dad?" she asked.
"Not a chance."
"Thank you."
She hugged her brother.
"As long as he isn't one of those airforce jerks...." he continued.
Sam couldn't answer him.
"Sam....," he began, "tell me he's not."
"Jon's different from Dad..." she tried to tell him.
"Like hell he is! I can't believe you'd be so stupid. You know what'll happen!"
"No, it won't."
"Didn't Mom's death teach you anything?"
He'd walked away from her then. Leaving her pretending that she didn't care, that her brother's approval meant nothing to her.
It was a foul night. A late summer storm had hit three hours ago and showed no signs of abating. Sam sat in her room, head out of the window, beer and cigarettes her only companions.....she shouldn't have had either, but right now she didn't particularly care anymore. It wasn't as if she wanted this. The only part of her that desired children had left with Jon. The thoughts of her lover were disturbing, she couldn't believe that he'd just dropped off the face of the Earth. Of course, she could have asked her Dad...yeah right. If he thought her life was screwed up before......There was just no way that she could tell him. It was back to the same question. What the hell was she going to do?
Flicking the remains of her cigarette away, she drew herself back into her room. The beer was finished and she went in search of something stronger. Dad was away....again....he wouldn't notice if a little something went missing from his liquor cabinet. She would have probably have attempted to drink the entire contents if the phone hadn't chosen that moment to ring. Sam almost ignored it, but some part of her still believed that Jon might call.
"Hello," she answered.
"Sam? It's Kowalski," the male voice answered.
"Charlie? You've heard from Jon?"
"Yeah. Look, he didn't want me to tell you, but I thought you had a right to know..... He's down in Colorado."
"You have an address?"
"Sure."
With shaking hands, Sam found a pen and wrote down the information.
"Thanks," she told him.
"No sweat," he assured her. "I've known Jack a long time an' you were good for him. See you around kid."
Sam took several deep breaths, before going upstairs to pack a bag.
***************************************************************************
Whoever was in the locker room was making one hell of a noise. The crashing had to have been going on for at least ten minutes. With the sign indicating that the occupant was female, Jack didn't feel at liberty to investigate immediately. However, when the disruption didn't seem to show any sign of diminishing he felt that he had good reason to push open the door.
"Get out!" Carter's voice yelled at him, the second the door opened.
"Carter, you OK?" he ventured.
"I said, get out!"
Jack managed to dart back out of range before something large and heavy hit him. He waited ten seconds before daring to poke his head back around the door. Nothing happened, so he slid his body inside.
"Sam?" he questioned.
She had to be in here somewhere. He looked around, several of the lockers had suspicious boot shaped dents in them. Today had been a bad day....Jack shook his head. That was an understatement. Bad didn't quite cover the shit they'd been put through. Especially Sam. She had disappeared the second someone had managed to take Martouf's body away from her. God, she hadn't wanted to let him go, they'd almost had to force her hands. Jack knew that it wasn't just Sam...... Jolinar was in there too, mourning her lost love. After all they had been through, Martouf had been the one to pay the ultimate price. Didn't seem fair somehow. Despite everything, Jack knew that the Tok'ra had been a good man.
"Sam?" he called out again. "It's me."
There was silence for a few seconds, before a very quiet voice answered him,
"Over here," she said.
Jack approached her carefully, not wanting to receive a blunt object in the face. She was sitting on the floor at the back of the room. Somehow she had managed to squeeze her body into the space between the last row of lockers and the wall. Jack dropped to his knees in front of her.
"Hey," he said, gently. "You OK?"
"Stupid question."
True enough. She looked like hell. It had been almost twelve hours since Martouf had died and she was still wearing her bloody fatigues. Her hands and face were also stained.
"God, Sam....Do you want me to get Janet?" he began.
"Please just go away," she sobbed.
"You know I can't do that. Come on."
Reaching forward, he took her hands and drew her to her feet.
"Let's get you cleaned up," he told her.
There was blood everywhere, even in her hair.
"Sam, I'm going to get Janet," he repeated.
"No."
She started to pull away from him and Jack realised that he was going to have to do this alone.
"Sam, don't.....look I'm going to have to take you into the shower, OK?"
"OK."
If anyone came in here right now nothing was going to save them from a court martial. On the other hand he couldn't leave her like this. He had to get her clean, take her home and force her to get some sleep. It had been an emotionally draining day for all concerned, but Sam had to be hurting the most. Jack would never truly comprehend the relationship Sam had had with Martouf, but he understood loss all too well.....and what its effects could be.
Sam didn't complain as he removed her outer layers of clothing. He stripped down to his own underwear before leading her into the shower. Once under the warm water, he took soap and a sponge and started to clean her body. He tried to ignore the fact that, for a few seconds, the water ran red. This was the first time in fifteen years that he had seen Sam's almost naked form. He was surprised by the changes time had wrought. There were scars, one on her stomach, another on her shoulder, a thin line that stretched the length of one calf....he traced them all.
When she was clean, he wrapped her in a large towel and sat her on one of the benches. Her locker was open and he managed to sort out her civilian clothes.
"Sam, you'd better get dressed and I'll take you home, OK?"
"OK."
She took the clothes from him. Jack turned his back on her as he attended to his own garments, allowing her a little privacy. He'd already seen more of her than was good for him. The vision of Sam standing under the water clad only in black underwear was one that was going to warm his dreams for months. Damn, he wasn't supposed to be thinking that, he was supposed to be helping her for cryin' out loud!
"You ready?" he asked.
"Yeah."
He turned round to see her dressed and waiting for him. She looked a little more composed now, more like the Sam he knew. They would have to talk about what they had both been forced to reveal, but he had the sense to know that now was not the right time. All he could do for the time being was to take her home....and not scare her away by trying to be more than a friend.
***************************************************************************
Sam was obviously the last person Jon expected to turn up on his doorstep. He just stood there and gaped at her.
"You're wet," he observed.
"It's a long walk from the bus station," Sam explained.
Water was dripping off her hair, her clothes...even the end of her nose. She gave him a nervous smile. He didn't look overly pleased to see her.
"You'd better come in," he said.
Sam, gratefully stepped through the door and into his apartment. She stood in the hallway, dripping on the rug.
"Dad know you're here?" Jon asked. It was probably a fair question, but Sam couldn't shake the feeling that this was all going badly wrong somehow.
"No. He was away and....I.....I had to see you," she stammered
"Sam...I was damn lucky he didn't press charges....God knows what he'll do if he finds out you're here."
"Jon, please."
She hadn't expected this reaction. Tears were starting to run down her face....mingling with the rain water. Maybe she should just go. She didn't know where. Not home that much was certain.
"I'm sorry," she said, and started back towards the door. "I shouldn't have come."
"Wait a second....."
"I should go."
"Sam, you're soaked, you'll catch your death."
He caught hold of her arm, gently restraining her.
"C'mon, I'll get you some dry clothes."
Half an hour later she was dressed in an old pair of his sweats and a T-shirt, eating the pizza he'd ordered while she had been in the shower. She felt alot better about being here. For a few moments there, she had thought that he was going to throw her out. Now she was dry, warm and had eaten, Sam was starting to feel sleepy. She rested her head against Jon's solid shoulder.
"You cut your hair," he said, running his fingers through the short strands.
"It.......got in the way."
"Sammie...why are you here? You have to know that we can't do this again."
His words brought reality crashing back and Sam found herself drawing away from him.
"I'm going to call your Dad," he said, gently.
"NO!"
"Sam!"
"You can't....you said yourself that he'll press charges this time."
"Which is nothing to what he'll do if I don't. Sam this is my career, my life on the line here..... "
"What about me?"
"Jeez....will you quit? Listen to yourself, this isn't just about you!"
"You don't understand!"
"Believe me, I do. Your Dad's going to be worried sick. So stop acting like a spoilt brat and....."
Sam hit him. Putting all her strength behind the blow, it was enough to send his head snapping back. Before he had a chance to say anything else, Sam blurted out the words that had brought her back to him, "I think I'm pregnant!" she shouted.
"What?"
She couldn't bear to look at him anymore. Grabbing her bag, she headed towards the door. If he didn't want to be involved she'd do this by herself. It wasn't like her situation was unusual. There were places and organisations that could help her. She'd go somewhere else, somewhere no one would ever be able to find her. She have the baby and raise it alone.....give it the family she no longer had. If Jon thought he'd ever have any kind of access he was sadly mistaken.
Her hand was on the latch when she felt his arms go about her waist. Despite her intentions, Sam found herself melting back into his embrace. He rocked her gently,
"It's OK, baby," he whispered, "everything's going to be OK."
Those were the words she had needed to hear. Sam started sobbing into his chest, grateful for the emotional release. Without ceremony, he led her through to the bedroom, tucking her into his bed. He slipped of his shoes and climbed in beside her, holding her close until she finally let herself sleep.
When she woke the other side of the bed was empty, but not quite cold. Sam felt pretty terrible. All that walking about in the rain hadn't done her any good and she felt the beginnings of a sore throat. She coughed a little. Great, this was all she needed. She threw the covers back and went to find the bathroom.
Jon was in the kitchen, making coffee. He looked up as she walked in and treated her to a wide grin.
"How you feeling? Not too sick for pancakes I hope?"
"No....Jon...."
"Look, I've been thinking. This could work out great...."
He sounded happy, Sam realised....and more than a little excited. She hated to be the barer of bad news, but she'd had enough of lying to him.
"It was a false alarm, " she admitted. "I'm not pregnant."
"Oh."
"Jon, I really thought I was."
"It's OK."
"Are you going to call my Dad?"
"Sam...I already did."
"You didn't tell him..."
"No. I just said you were here and we had a few things to work out."
"Thanks."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I don't know. Part of me wants to stay with you."
"And the rest?"
"Still wants to be an astronaut."
Jon laughed. He then crossed to her side and pulled her into a hug.
"That's my girl," he grinned. "Listen. I want you to promise me something. Promise that you won't give up your dreams, not for me, not for anyone. Go to the stars Sam, it's what you were born to do. I can see it in your eyes, every time you look at me."
"I promise."
Sam sniffed and wiped her hand across her face. Jon was right, she had to go. A last breakfast together, one more sweet kiss.....and then home.
***************************************************************************
"A bomb sir, a huge kick ass bomb."
General Hammond raised his eyebrow. Maybe it wasn't the most conventional way to give the report, but Jack couldn't think of another way to describe it.
"Carter," he said to Sam, encouraging her to back him up.
"Expletives aside, Colonel O'Neill's report is more or less correct," she agreed.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome, sir."
"And your assessment of the threat Apophis now poses?" Hammond continued.
"It's difficult to say," Jack continued. "I guess it depends on how many system lords he decides to eliminate before he turns his attention to Earth."
"Dad seems to think he may be here sooner rather than later," Sam said.
"If nothing else we're the only link he has with his son," Daniel added. "And he wants him very badly...trust me on this."
"I'll have to inform the President. Very well SG1 you are dismissed," Hammond ordered, before disappearing into his office.
"At least I got to fly Dad's cool ship," Jack offered, trying to lighten the mood a little.
Sam offered him a tired smile, but Daniel didn't even acknowledge the comment. He had that look on his face again. The one that told them all he was missing Share.
"Hey, I'm going down to see Teal'c, anyone else comin'?" Jack suggested, changing the subject.
His two other team members nodded, both concerned about their friend.
Teal'c had been lucky. His physical condition was improving, thanks to his larva. On the other hand he wasn't talking about his ordeal. Not unexpected, the man rarely spoke about anything personal. One look at Janet's face told everyone that she was worried about him and Jack only knew one cure he could offer,
"Hey, Hammond's put us on standown until you're fit for duty, what do ya say we take another fishing trip?" he suggested.
"Again?" Teal'c questioned, obviously less than thrilled with the idea.
"Sure. Tell you what, we'll all go, right Daniel?"
"Why not?" Daniel replied.
"Carter....?"
Sam hesitated and an uncomfortable silence settled over the room. Jack shuffled his feet a little, trying to think of something to say. He'd been certain she'd take up his invitation if she didn't have to go there alone.
"How about you, Janet?" Sam asked, suddenly. "You must be due some leave."
The doctor raised an eyebrow and Sam nodded in return. The two women seemed to be communicating in some strange silent way, and Jack didn't even attempt to guess what it meant. Whatever, Janet came up with the answer he wanted to hear.
"Sounds like fun," the Doctor agreed.
"When do we leave?" Sam added.
"ASAP," Jack told them. "Meet me in the parking lot in...say...two hours?"
"We'll be there, sir."
***************************************************************************
TWENTY FOUR HOURS LATER
Jack and Sam stumbled into the kitchen, desperately trying to contain their laughter.
"Rockets and shooting stars?" Jack teased.
"Oh yeah," Sam grinned back.
"You never told me that before."
"I figured your ego was big enough already."
"Thanks."
They looked at each other, a little shyly. This was the first time they had openly discussed past events and it all felt very strange. Sam smiled at him, shaking her head. She crossed the distance between them and placed her hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating strongly beneath her fingers.
"I know where this belongs, sir."
"Always, Sam," he whispered.
He placed his hand over hers. Sam rested her head on their folded hands and his free arm went about her shoulders. New boundaries had been drawn, he realised. The acknowledgement was somehow deeper than that which had been made under the influence of the Tok'ra device. This admission had been made freely. In that moment he knew that he could have kissed her....could have done, but didn't. He settled for letting his cheek rest against her hair.
"So, glad you came?" he asked.
"Mmmmmm," she mumbled.
As much as he thought this was nice, if they stayed out here much longer someone would wonder what the hell they were doing.
"C'mon Sammie, we'd better grab those snacks."
"Yeah.....and Colonel? "
"What?"
"Call me Sammie again and I'll shoot you."
"Yes ma'am."
They broke the hug and busied themselves collecting chips and dips.
"O'Neill...Will you tell me the truth or accept my challenge?" Teal'c asked when they were all settled again.
Jack rolled his eyes at Sam, who broke into a fit of giggles.
"That's truth or dare, Teal'c!" Jack protested. "And I'll take the dare. We don't want any other 'truth's' tonight."
He got the feeling that Janet and Daniel were disappointed by his answer. Well, too damn bad. He wasn't about to let them in on his little secret. They'd make his life hell.
"Very well. O'Neill....I wish for you to swim across the lake....without the benefit of your clothes."
***************************************************************************
Jacob Carter was sitting at the table, eating breakfast and reading the morning paper. He barely looked at Sam as she walked into the room. She took the seat opposite him, helping herself to toast and coffee.
"So you decided to come home," he said.
"Yeah....Jon talked me into it."
Jacob looked up from his newspaper, obviously surprised.
"And what words of wisdom did Captain O'Neill have that your father didn't?" he asked.
"He told me to stop acting like a spoilt brat," Sam admitted.
A smirk crossed her father's face and she tried to return the smile. This was proving to be easier than she expected. She'd thought they'd be fighting by now.
"You OK? You look like you're going down with something."
"Just a slight cold. My fault.....you know you've always said I never had the sense to come in from the rain."
Jacob laughed out loud, then he placed a fatherly hand on her forehead.
"Feels like you're running a fever. You'd better get yourself to bed after you've had something to eat," he told her.
"There's something else, Dad."
"Yeah?"
"I finish at school next year and...."
"Sam, if you're going to tell me that you're going to some crappy little college, forget it. You're way smarter than that....."
"No, Dad....I'm going to join the airforce."
"Really?"
For a second Sam thought that her father was going to burst with pride.
"Yeah. Look, I want to be an astronaut, and this'll give me all the background I need to get into the program....Dad....what's wrong?"
"Ever since you were a little girl...Your Mom would be so proud."
A strange expression had appeared on her father's face. If she hadn't known better, Sam would have thought she saw tears in his eyes.
"I'm doing this for me, Dad. Not for you....not for Mom...."
"Whatever....eat your breakfast, take some aspirin and go to bed......there's a couple of people I have to call."
Sam sighed to herself. This was just typical of her father. He'd probably go all the way up to the Joint Chiefs to make sure everyone heard that his little girl was going to join up. At least she'd made him happy, she thought to herself. No doubt Mark would have a great deal to say about the subject....either that or he would never speak to her again. Whatever, this was her choice, her decision. Maybe one day Jon would be watching her shuttle launch. Yeah, right....in her dreams, but Sam allowed herself a smile, glad that she felt free to have hopes for her future.....scary though that might be. She had a long way to go before she achieved her goal, but she'd get there. After all, she had made a promise.....
***************************************************************************
Jack leaned on the rail of the deck, looking out across the darkened garden. Behind him, through the open door, he could hear the sounds of the party; voices, laughter, music. Yet Jack was out here, drinking his beer alone. He should have been happy, but somehow that emotion remained elusive.
"Sam's done pretty well for herself," Jacob began.
"Yes, she has.....in spite of me," Jack replied.
He couldn't stop the bitter addition. At the back of his mind he had never stopped wondering what would have happened if he and Sam had never been separated. If he hadn't done the 'right thing' and called her father...... forks in the road stuff.
"Don't sell yourself short Jack.....I think it's because of you. There was a time when I wasn't a very good father to Sammie. I mean this was the girl who got herself suspended from school for selling beer.....You gave her to courage to believe in herself again."
The honest compliment caught Jack a little by surprise. He knew those words could not have come easily to a man like Jacob Carter.
"Thanks," Jack replied and took another mouthful of his beer.
Through the open door he could hear Sam laughing. The clear sound disturbed him for some reason. He found himself wondering who was making her happy.
"So what are you going to do?" Jacob asked.
"'bout what?"
"My daughter. Your former 2IC."
Jack just shook his head. Sam needed to make the first move. If he'd had his way, they would have been breaking those frat. regs months ago.... She hadn't been ready and he'd understood that. Even now their situation had changed, he wasn't going to push the issue. He didn't think he could bear to be turned down again.
"You might be surprised, Jack."
With a friendly slap on the shoulder, Jacob left the man to his thoughts. Jack's gaze automatically drifted towards the stars.
"Wishing?" Sam's voice interrupted his contemplation.
"Something like that," he replied.
Jack turned to face her, smiling at the image she presented. She was only dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt, but her features were softly highlighted by the lights from the house. The only time she had looked as beautiful was that first time they had made love. Her face had the same timeless glow. Sam blushed at the intensity of his gaze, knowing instinctively what he was thinking. Jack turned away. He couldn't help feeling embarrassed by the strength of his emotions.
"It's late, everyone's about to go, I thought you should know," she said, breaking the silence that threatened to overwhelm them.
"And you?" Jack heard himself ask. Then kicked himself for setting up another disappointment.
The years had changed them too much, he decided. Mature adults stood in the place of the young man and the child.
"That's up to you," Sam replied. "I have my own team now......you're not my CO anymore..... I kept my promise," she said.
"And now?"
"I have a new set of dreams and they include you "
"Stay," he told her.
Her smile was all the answer he needed. Jack stepped towards her and, taking her face in his hands, kissed her gently.
***************************************************************************
THE END
Story Notes: ruth@snowqueen.demon.co.uk
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, Sam and Jack, anyone else please ask
SPOILERS: Children of the Gods, Secrets, 100 Days, Divide and Conquer.
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, Sam and Jack, anyone else please ask
SPOILERS: Children of the Gods, Secrets, 100 Days, Divide and Conquer.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]