Well my options are limited. Two to be exact. And I have to say neither was all that appealing. I can either let them strap me to a bed and drug me senseless or I can under go Anise's procedure. Well Lt. Astor tried the procedure and it didn't turn out to well. In fact the General will be writing one of those 'I regret to inform you' letters. And after the whole armband thing, which by the way is the cause of this, I just don't trust Anise. I don't trust the Tok'ra, they've proven time and again that they are only interested in their own gains and their own agenda.
So I sit here waiting for Janet to arrive. So I can be strapped to a bed and hang out in la la land while the President and the Tok'ra sign the treaty. Not the best choice but better than the alternative. I saw Astor go psycho, a danger to herself and others. I don't want that. Then she blew her brains out. Now there was a time in my life when I contemplated that, but that time has long since passed.
Who would have thought that Carter and I would have been brought down by Goa'uld brainwashing. I mean we've survived alien viruses, being stranded in what we thought was an ice planet, suicide missions to blow up mother ships, we've even been to Hell and back together. And while we weren't always unscathed we did survive. Now, we'll just be two drugged bodies.
Daniel and Anise come in and are shortly followed by Janet with the equipment. There it is, my choice, I get to be a drugged out zombie. Teal'C comes in to see if I require anything. I just want another option. Anise goes on about her procedure again, as if I'd agree to that. I may not be as smart as Carter, but I'm not that stupid.
Carter, I can't stand the thought of her spending the rest of her life as a zombie, in a drugged out stupor. Her eyes glazed and her mind dulled by the drugs. She deserves so much more; she deserves a real life. The thought of her like that pains me. I see her smile and the twinkle in her eye, she is so full of life. This is just wrong. Then something Anise said earlier finally clicks. She needs more information. And she needs to try the procedure again to get that information. Whether the procedure is successful or not is not the issue, she'll get more information either way.
"I'll do it." I hear myself say the words and I know that I'd do anything if it would help Carter, if it would keep her safe. I can't let them keep her drugged out strapped to a bed. She's too important. Daniel and Janet are shocked. They argue with me, but I tell them it might help Carter and finally they agree. Daniel holds back a moment. I can tell he understands why I'm doing this. That he knows.
"Daniel," I start, "don't tell her why. Tell her I'd rather take the risk. Tell her anything, but don't let her blame herself or feel guilty. This is my choice. I have to do it."
--
I'll Do It by Lola
Story Notes: AUTHOR'S NOTE: My take on Jack's thoughts for agreeing to under go the procedure.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]