It started with a fishing trip, with an attack, with us being stranded on P3X234.
Jack had two suggestions for what we could do if we never got back to Earth. The first involved kissing me breathless and the second....no prizes for guessing that one. If we hadn't been rescued..... My whole relationship with Jack O'Neill has been plagued by bad timing.
I look at him now, across the room and I smile to myself. He's talking to Freya. I can tell that he likes her, even if he isn't so keen on the Goa'uld she carries. He feels my gaze and grins back at me. We've always been like that, able to know what each other's thinking and that aspect of our relationship hasn't changed. In fact we seem to have grown more in tune with each others thoughts. Freya frowns slightly, but I allay her fears by reaching out to take Daniel's hand.
Danny knows what happened between myself and Jack. I think he's come to terms with the fact that he's my second choice. He accepts that. After all he knows very well that Jack and I are in no position to continue what we started. It was a mutual decision. Neither of us were prepared to give up our rank or our positions within the SGC. The work we do is far too important. In a strange sort of way we need to be together professionally more than we do physically. Jack has to work with people he trusts and that means SG1. He knows that every time he turns around I will be covering his back....something I couldn't do as a civilian or if I was assigned to another team. Besides I wouldn't trust anyone else to do the job. Being in the airforce has defined our relationship. It is who we are......and why we love each other.
There's alot of love there. Which is why we both let go. We loved too much to endanger the other by being unable to face the unknown together. Outwardly I don't think anyone would realise how intimate we became. Perhaps we touch each other a little more than we used to.....hugs....brief chaste kisses. It's safer now, we know that nothing is going to happen. And I call him Jack when we're alone, he calls me Sammie....which I forgive him for.
I watch him with Freya. He's said something funny, which she doesn't quite understand, but he perseveres in trying to explain. I can almost see the sparks of attraction that fly between them. Jack won't be sleeping alone tonight and neither will I. Danny and I make our goodbyes, leaving Jack and Freya to do what they must. She won't be disappointed. I think about those other Samantha's, the ones who could be with Jack and maybe I get a little jealous. Not jealous a such, but there's a strange ache in my heart, one that I know will never leave.
A small sigh escapes me and Danny pulls me into a hug. Occasionally he can be nothing but a petulant little boy, but this isn't one of those times. He understands that, while I don't have any regrets, I sometimes catch myself wondering, just a little. I'm sure he does too. You see we're both replacements in a way. He's my Jack and I'm his....the dream woman he lost so cruelly. We both have a lot to live up to, but Danny and I are actually very compatible. If I disappear into my lab. for a couple of days, he knows better than to try to drag me out. We talk long into the night, discussing our latest discoveries. I'm starting to understand archaeology almost as well as I do astrophysics....and he's trying to teach me how to speak Abydonian or whatever. It's a slow process. I've finally discovered something that I'm not good at. Languages don't seem to be my strong point. In summary, we have fun together, we compliment each other....we love each other. Which is all I could possibly want.
******************
It ended the same way it began......with the stars.
I sat on my roof with my 'scope, half expecting a visitor. No one comes. I guess it's third time lucky as far as retirement goes. Our trips through the 'Gate are over and the project has been closed. We are earthbound once more. Sometimes I miss it, but really I'm happy to be here. Hell, I'm happy just to be alive. There were times when I thought that none of us would survive.... and this planet would be blown to hell. Despite everything we've survived, I don't know what that says about the human race in general, but as for me. I guess I'm like Danny....surprisingly difficult to kill.
Thinking of Daniel turns my attention back to the heavens. He's out there....somewhere. The saviour of the human race. Probably up to his neck in some artefacts or rocks or somethin'. I hate to think that part of him would have changed. I'm certain he turns his attention to Earth occasionally, watches over his children. I mean what exactly does a superbeing do with his life, on his days off? Maybe Danny'll stop by and let us know some time.
And my Freya, my beautiful Freya.....she went back to those same stars. She couldn't bare the thought of being confined to a single planet. Saying goodbye was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. She was, for a time, the love of my life. I look for her star, the one I know that she went to. She won't be there now, of course. It's been three years, the Tok'ra will have moved by now. I still stare at it, though, thinking of her and everything she brought to my life. Over the past few years, there's only one woman who meant more to me.
So our friends have gone, our planet has been isolated. What does that leave us? A home, peace and one other thing. It's getting late...or is that early? I look at my watch. I've been up here longer than I thought. I lock down the 'scope and start to make my way indoors. My house is quiet and a single light burns in the hallway. I move through the rooms, checking that everything is locked up for the night. It's not like I can get my hands on an MP5 anymore. Retirement gets easier every time I do it. People wonder what I do all day, but I keep myself busy. There's still alot about this planet I don't know. I follow the space program. They left us that much. I don't think they realised what the human race can achieve if we have a goal that we know is attainable. I mean we know that there are others out there and if we can't use the 'Gate to get to them we'll do it on our own. Hell, give us a few years and we'll make our own Stargate. My Sammie's working on that project. If she can't do it no one can.
I turn out the last light and walk into my bedroom, shedding my clothes as I go. Some bachelor habits die hard, I guess. The bed is warm and I can't help snuggling up to my partner in an attempt to eliminate the chill of the night. She protests both verbally and by kicking me.
"Hey, do I complain when your feet are cold?" I admonish.
Her reply is incomprehensible as she mumbles into the pillows. Eventually, she relents and allows me to hold her close. She's a little grumpy, but what can I say.....the first trimester's a bitch.
THE END
Story Notes: SPOILERS: Nemisis....and for the Fourth Season (possibly).
NOTES: This ones for Avril :):) Who'll know why. As for everyone else, please don't kill me.
NOTES: This ones for Avril :):) Who'll know why. As for everyone else, please don't kill me.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]