Fear
~~o0o~~
Jack walked up the path to the brightly lit home, wondering at the reception he would receive. Sam had been distant, almost cold, with him since their return from K'tau and he was at a loss as to why. Had he forgotten some special date or something? He didn't think Sam was the type to go for anniversaries - at least not those monthly ones that some women seemed to want to celebrate - but then again he'd been surprised by her before.
He grinned as he recalled the first time he'd discovered her love of sexy lingerie. She'd greeted him in his bedroom wearing nothing more than a scrap of lace and a smile. That had definitely been a good night. The smile slid from his face as he remembered that he probably wouldn't like this surprise nearly as much. Pausing in front of the door, he finally plucked up the courage to knock.
She opened the door a few moments later, dressed in sweats and looking surprised to see him. "Jack, I wasn't expecting you."
He nodded. "I know, but I think we need to talk."
Her eyes flittered away and she suddenly looked nervous. "Talk about what?" she asked, her ignorance obviously feigned.
"I think you know what."
She said nothing, but stepped back and allowed him to enter her house. She closed the door behind him and then they walked down the hall and into the living room. "You want coffee?" she asked, already heading for the kitchen.
He caught her wrist, stopping her retreat. "No, Sam, I don't want coffee. I want you to sit down and talk to me."
"Since when do you talk?" she asked, the sarcasm just a little too forced.
"Since you've been ignoring me for three days," he replied. He tugged her over to the sofa and made her sit, taking the seat beside her.
"So talk," she muttered, looking anywhere but at him.
He let out a loud sigh, reaching over and pulling her chin to face him. "What is going on with you?" he asked. "Ever since we returned from K'tau you've been avoiding me. What have I done?"
"It's nothing, Jack. Don't worry about it."
"It's not nothing, so don't lie to me. I want to know what I've done. I know I was an ass, but that Malchus guy deserved it."
"He didn't deserve you shoving a gun in his face," she replied.
He looked at her for a moment. "Is that what this is all about? Because I pulled a gun on that guy?"
She sighed, wringing her hands in her lap and refusing to look up at him. "You scared me, Jack. I thought you were going to kill that man and... it scared me."
He resisted the urge to touch her after her confession, instead trying to figure out how to make her understand what had motivated him to behave like he had. "It could have been you we were taking back in a body bag. It was sheer luck that they sabotaged it while you were back at the SGC. It could have easily blown when you were down there and you could have been one of the ones that were killed." He swallowed hard. "I could have lost you that day and *that* scares the hell out of me."
She said nothing and he sighed, looking down at his hands. "When Charlie died, I was in a very dark place. It was hard to come back from there and I don't think I could do it a second time. I think if I lost you, Sam, it would kill me."
"I don't want you to need me that much," she whispered, and he saw tears glittering in her eyes.
"Don't you think I've tried not to? I can't help it." He reached out to grasp her hand, but she moved away from him. "Sam, what's this really about?"
She sighed, wiping at her eyes. "All my life I've been attracted to a certain type of man. A little rough around the edges, a little emotionally scarred. Jonas called me the healer of the emotionally wounded."
He watched her for a long moment and then something clicked. "Sam, you know I'd never hurt you, right? I mean, I could never--" He broke off, unable to finish. Did she think he could be violent toward her? Is that what this was all about?
She looked down at her hands. "In my head, I know you wouldn't, Jack. I just... You put a gun to that man's head and all I saw was Jonas before he died. I swore I'd never put myself in that position again and it just feels like I am."
He swallowed hard. "So, what do you want to do?"
She looked at him for a long moment. "I can't walk away from you. No matter how terrified I am, I can't give you up."
Jack's heart finally started beating again as he reached over and pulled her into his arms. "I'm so sorry for scaring you," he murmured, his eyes closed tight. "I'm sorry for needing you so much."
She shook her head against his chest. "I'm sorry for being so scared."
He chuckled dourly. "We are both royally screwed up, aren't we?" He heard a muffled sob and sighed, hugging her tightly. "It's gonna be okay, baby."
She didn't reply, just buried herself deeper in his embrace. He held her tighter, vowing to himself that he would do what ever it took to assure her he would never become another Jonas Hanson; that he would be the kind of man she deserved.
THE END
Story Notes: SEASON/SEQUEL: Season 5. Post ep for 'Red Sky'
SPOILERS: "Red Sky"
AUTHORS NOTES: Just a little something to kick-start the muse (I hope!). This was inspired after reading one of Sue Corkill's stories. I can't for the life of me remember which one, but go and check out her stuff, you won't be disappointed. Thanks to Jenn and Kes for beta'ing!
FEEDBACK: Yes Please! I love to know what you think.
jez80@ozemail.com.au
Copyright © Jez, August 2003.
SPOILERS: "Red Sky"
AUTHORS NOTES: Just a little something to kick-start the muse (I hope!). This was inspired after reading one of Sue Corkill's stories. I can't for the life of me remember which one, but go and check out her stuff, you won't be disappointed. Thanks to Jenn and Kes for beta'ing!
FEEDBACK: Yes Please! I love to know what you think.
jez80@ozemail.com.au
Copyright © Jez, August 2003.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]