There had been an accident. A huge explosion had ripped through the gateroom, tossing bodies everywhere. Most of them were unharmed, suffering only minor cuts and bruises. Others though, like Major Samantha Carter who had been nearer to the blast, had serious burns to her neck and shoulder.
The SGC was suddenly awash with doctors tending the wounded. Sam had been put on a trolley and moved to the infirmary, flanked by three worried men, Jack, Daniel and Teal'c. Once inside, they moved away so Janet could deal with the burns on Sam's neck, which seemed to be worse than those on her shoulder. Laying on her side, Sam bit into her lip as Janet slowly moved her to sit on the bed.
"I know it hurts, Sam, I'll try to do this quickly." Janet looked down at her friend who was trying to control her breathing. Trying to distract her, she said, "Did it hurt when it happened?"
"Well, of course it hurt," came a voice from the door. Daniel came to stand in front of Sam who was looking beyond him into open space. He bent to touch her face with his hand. Slowly, her eyes came up to meet his. She knew he cared about her. He loved her, and she loved him, she adored him, but he wasn't Jack.
"You gonna be OK?" he asked softly.
She had heard him say these words before right after the memory device had made her experience Jolinar's pain. "I will be," she whispered.
"Do you want me to stay with you?" he asked her, wanting to remain close.
She smiled slightly. "Talk to me."
"OK," he said, moving to sit beside her, "what shall we talk about?"
"Anything." She drew in a sharp breath as Janet cut the material away from her shoulder.
"Sam," she said, "I've seen burns in my time, but this looks like an electricity burn, like Teal'c's staff weapon would make."
"I saw a bolt, like lightning, hit her," Daniel offered.
"No, this is different, it runs deep."
"Will you guys finish already!" Sam's voice was rose higher than normal, her teeth gritted.
"I'm sorry," Janet said softly. "I'll give you something for the pain." She went to get the injection.
"Does it hurt bad?" Daniel asked.
"Could say that," she hissed through her teeth.
"Look," he said softly, taking her hand. She brought her eyes up to his, finally letting painful tears fall from her eyes. Daniel's breath caught in his throat. He tried to swallow the lump that constricted his breathing. "If it hurts, squeeze my hand."
"It hurts, Daniel," she said softly. "I can't take this any more."
He moved in front of her. "It's OK Sam, I'm here." She didn't look at him, just moved forward to hold him. He held her, careful not to hurt her. She closed her eyes against his chest, grateful that he cared enough to stay.
Jack came into the medical centre and froze in his tracks as he saw them. He was hit by a wave of jealousy. He had always thought that he and Sam were connected, and was comfortable with the way things were, but seeing Daniel holding Sam, he felt betrayed by his best friend. It wasn't until he approached them that he saw that Sam was crying softly. Concern clouded his mind as he strode quickly forward. "What's up, Sam. You OK?"
Daniel nodded at him to look at her neck. He did so, gasping at the sight. Janet came back in, carrying a syringe. Suddenly, Sam's arms that had been holding Daniel, went limp. "Sam!" he blurted. "Sam!"
Jack came over to move her hair from her eyes. "Jesus, she's unconscious."
"Get her on the bed," Janet said urgently. Both Daniel and Jack moved her so she laid on her side.
Jack felt her neck. "She's alive." Both he and Daniel sighed with relief. Janet got to work and took blood samples. She put clean dressings on her neck then connected her to monitors. By now, the med lab was swarming with medical staff. Jack and Daniel were ushered out of the way as the nurses attended to Sam.
"She said she couldn't take it any more." Daniel swallowed the lump in his throat. "She was so upset, I've never seen her so upset before."
"I have," Jack sighed, his eyes never leaving the woman on the bed, "but she never let it show. She swallowed hard, and carried on, afraid to show a moment's weakness."
"When was that?" Daniel asked.
Jack took a moment to answer. "When we were in the Antarctic." He moved towards Janet. "Doc?"
She looked up from Sam, her face worried. "Her temperature is rising, she's burning up I'm afraid." She looked up to see Jack's shocked face. "Colonel, I'm afraid that if we can't get her temperature down we'll lose her."
"No!" Daniel came forward. "Don't ever say that. We can't lose her, there must be a way."
Janet was shaking her head sadly. "I'm sorry, I've done all I know how."
"Well, try something else," Jack demanded.
"Colonel O'Neill," a voice said from the doorway. Jack looked up to see General Hammond and Teal'c coming forward.
"Sam's sick!" Jack blurted out.
"What?" General Hammond rushed over. "But she was fine."
"No, she wasn't," Daniel said softly. Everyone looked over at him. "I mean, she wasn't fine, she was in pain and none of us picked up on it."
"She was quiet." Jack nodded. "A little too quiet."
"Those burns on her neck are like nothing I've seen before," Janet said. "I have treated her the best I can but I'm at an end."
Teal'c came forward. "You must bathe the wound in a salt solution. It will release the pain and eliminate infection."
"You know this?" Jack asked hopefully.
"I have seen it done, yes."
"Can you make her well?" Daniel asked.
"I can try."
"Tell me what you need." Janet took a pen over to him as he proceeded to explain. Meanwhile, Jack stood close to Sam, his hand on her hair, as if his very presence would make her well again.
They took it in shifts to sit with her throughout the night. At present, Daniel sat dozing at her side, book in his hands, snoring quietly. Jack smiled and looked over at Sam. She seemed more relaxed, her breathing had slowed into a steady rhythm. Jack nudged Daniel, who sprang awake. "Get to bed, I'll sit with her."
Daniel looked at her sleeping form. "Come get me if she wakes up."
"Sure," Jack said, the smile on his face more of a grimace. He watched Daniel leave, then sat down beside Sam. He studied her for a few moments, then reached out to stroke her arm. "You know," he said, "I really owe you an apology. You see, I never really knew how I felt about you until I saw you and Daniel here today." He sighed. "Guess I should be happy for him, but I'm not. I'm damned angry because he knows how much I care about you, he should have waited." He stroked her knuckles gently, then lifted her hand in his own. "I know what you're thinking, that I'll never tell you how I feel. Well, part of that is right but I would have told you eventually." He smiled and brought her hand to his lips. "You know, you are like no woman I've ever met. I have this rapport with you." He looked down at her, smoothing her hair from her face. "But when they electrocuted you with that thing I wanted to kill them. I thought I'd lost you."
He looked into her face. Her eyelids were flickering. "Sam!" He jumped up. "Doc!" he shouted, "Doc!" He looked back at Sam. "You're OK!" He was laughing. "You're gonna be fine."
Her eyes tried to focus on him as he shouted for someone to help. "Jack," she whispered through dry lips, the words barely audible.
He looked at her, his eyes brimming with tears. "I'm here." He squeezed her hand. She smiled, then closed her eyes and drifted back off to sleep, her hand still clasping his.
Janet came rushing over to him, still half asleep. "What happened?" Jack didn't hear her. He was still looking at Sam, not daring to take his eyes off her. "Colonel, what happened?" Janet asked again.
He smiled, still looking at Sam. "She said my name."
Janet went around the bed and shone a light into both of Sam's eyes, lifting the closed lids. "Her temperature is still a little high but she seems to be doing fine now." She smiled at Jack. "Do you want me to take over for a while?"
He looked up at her. "No."
Janet grinned and walked away. It was funny, that was the answer she'd been expecting.
The hours passed slowly. Jack had his head laid on the pillow next to Sam's, his hand entwined in hers, asleep. He sat in a position that was going to make him think twice about sitting in this position again. It was a little after 4am when Sam's eyes began to open slowly. She could feel Jack's breath on her face. When she opened her eyes, she could see him. He was sound asleep, snoring softly. A powerful surge of love hit her and it was all she could do not to tell him right now, even in a whisper. She looked down to see her hands in his, then her eyes slowly came back up to his face.
She moved her free hand to gently touch his face, feeling the texture under her fingers. Stirring slightly, she thought about pulling her hand away but she didn't. He leaned his face into her hand and whispered her name, so soft she could hardly hear him, but it was her name.
His eyes slowly came open and she was rewarded with his beautiful hazel eyes. She smiled. Suddenly realising where he was, he became more alert. He slowly sat up, wincing as his body stretched. He held her hand to his face, smiling down at her, making her feel so alive. Then, as she thought this could get no better, he kissed the palm of her hand.
"You're awake."
"I am." She smiled sleepily.
"How do you feel?"
"Sore, but OK." She watched as he tried to sit straight but couldn't move. She sighed. "You look tired."
"No," was all he said.
"No?" she asked.
"I'm not leaving you, even if I have to sleep here in this chair all night. I'm not going."
Sam felt her eyes fill and swallowed the lump in her throat. Silently, she shuffled over and patted the bed. He looked around to see if anyone else was around, then after gentle persuasion, he climbed onto the bed and laid next to her. As soon as he lay down, she moulded herself to him, wincing as the burn on her neck began to sting. She shifted into a more comfortable position and settled down her head on his shoulder, just below his chin and she met his hand with hers on his chest. They were both asleep in minutes.
Jack was woken by someone shaking him. Groggily he opened his eyes to see Daniel. He looked at Sam who was still asleep beside him. "Jack, get up!" Daniel whispered. "General Hammond is on his way down. If he sees you two......"
"Oh," Jack grunted, then tried to sit up. Sam stirred next to him, trying to pull him back down. He gently pulled his arm from around her waist, and moved her off of him, then fell in a heap on the floor.
As he stood up and dusted himself off, both he and Daniel looked to see Sam quietly giggling to herself. "Oh," said Jack, "So you think that's funny, huh?" She put her hand over her mouth to hide the chuckles, shaking her head unconvincingly. Daniel looked from one to the other, seeing at once the new closeness between them. Jack seemed to be more and more at ease with himself and her.
At the door, Janet Fraiser stopped the general. "Um... General... I'm afraid I can't let you in there."
"And why not?" he asked indignantly.
"She's um.... she's not...." She thought for a minute. "She's not decent."
"It's OK!" Daniel came rushing forward.
"It's OK?" She looked at him, then at General Hammond. "It's OK."
He looked at the pair of them questioningly, then, sighing, followed them into the infirmary. Jack now sat on the bed, talking to Sam. The general came around to see that Sam was on her side, her hands holding Jack's.
"Morning." He smiled. "How are you feeling?"
She smiled. "A little sore and tired, that's all."
"Well, it's good to see you're doing OK." He smiled, then looked at Jack.
"Colonel, I need to see you in my office at 0900."
"Yes, sir." Jack nodded. "I'll be there."
Before leaving, the general turned to Janet. "Not decent?" Janet nodded nervously. "Doctor Fraiser, when you have time, my office?"
"Yes, sir!" She shook in her boots, and tried not to sound nervous. "I have time now, sir."
"Very well." Hammond chuckled to himself, these people couldn't fool him.
Janet followed him into his office and stood waiting for him to end her career. Instead, she was surprised by what he said, "Doctor, how long before Major Carter can be discharged from the infirmary?"
"A few more days, at least, sir," she said.
"May I suggest that you move her to a private room." He started to smile. "I am aware of the colonel's fondness for the major, and I am also aware that he is crucial to her recovery."
"Sir?"
"I know what occurred last night, Doctor. All I ask is that you keep it quiet and keep it to yourself." He stood up and winked at her. "Decent indeed!"
She grinned and walked out of his office.
Daniel stroked Sam's hair as she dozed. He sat perched on her bed, her head resting against his thigh. Jack had reluctantly left to go get a shower, leaving Daniel to sit with her. Teal'c stood with Janet, having an in-depth conversation. Daniel smiled down at her, as she slowly opened her eyes. "Hi, how are you feeling?"
"Tired," she whispered, "so tired."
"Yeah," he said, resting his hand gently on her head.
Janet came over to them. "How is she?"
"She says she's tired."
"That's understandable. Her body's been put under a tremendous strain." She looked down at Sam. "Sam, we're moving you to a side room. Just until you're better." Janet wasn't sure if Sam had heard her or not, but she began unclipping wires and instruments from the various machines.
When Jack came out of the locker room, General Hammond was waiting for him. "I'm putting SG1 on stand-down until Major Carter is well enough to carry on."
"Thank you, sir." Jack smiled. "She'll be pleased."
"I know she will." Hammond nodded. "May I suggest you help her recovery by keeping close by?"
"Most definitely! Thank you, general."
When Jack entered the infirmary, Teal'c came to greet him. "Major Carter has been moved to a private room to enable her to rest."
"Thank you, Teal'c." Jack patted his arm.
"You are becoming very fond of Major Carter, are you not?"
"Teal'c, I've always been fond of her. You just never noticed."
Teal'c nodded, with just the hint of a smile on his lips as Jack went to find Sam's room.
When he got there, she was asleep on her side, looking so peaceful. Daniel looked up as he came in. "Jack."
"How is she, Daniel?"
"She's been sleeping most of the time."
Jack smiled down at her sleeping form and was hit by a wave of feelings. "Isn't she beautiful?" he said softly, not meaning to say it aloud.
Daniel smiled. "So you finally noticed, huh?"
Jack looked at him and grinned. "I have always noticed."
"I was going to offer to sit with her a while but I'm sure she'd want to see you." Daniel sighed.
"Oh? What makes you say that?"
"She's been calling for you in her sleep. Don't worry." Daniel put his hand up to silence Jack. "No-one else heard her."
Jack looked at his friend. "You don't approve of me being here, do you?"
Daniel smiled, shaking his head. "Jack, you're my best friend, she's my best friend. Nothing could make me more happy than seeing you two get closer to each other."
"Well, I'd like..." began Jack.
"She loves you," Daniel blurted out, cutting Jack off in mid-sentence. "She has been in love with you since she first met you."
Jack looked stunned for a moment.
"I know, because I've seen how she looks at you. I have seen her gaze after you even after you've left the room, and I could practically hear her heart breaking when she found out about Sarah." Daniel was intent on telling him everything. "She would do anything for you, and it breaks me up when I see how much she loves you and how you never acknowledge she's there."
"I never knew." Jack sat on the bed next to Sam and stroked her hand.
"Do us both a favour, Jack, and at least try to let her in, break the walls down and let her love you." Daniel sighed. "Because she desperately wants to." He stood and turned to leave.
Jack called him back. "I know how you feel about her, Daniel."
"I know." Daniel smiled. "So does she. Only problem is, it's you she's in love with." He turned again, and headed towards the door. "I'll call in later." Jack watched him leave, then turned back to Sam, who was still sleeping.
He gazed at her as she slept. He couldn't deny the fact that he did find her attractive, because he did, and when her alternate self came to him, wanting him, he'd had to admit to himself that he had feelings for her, the real Sam, his Sam. And when he'd kissed Doctor Carter, he'd wished she was Major Carter. Why hadn't he said something to her, why? Because he was afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of getting hurt, afraid that he couldn't give himself completely to her.
He stroked her knuckles gently with his fingers, then brought her hand up to his lips, planting a gentle kiss on it. Slowly, Sam opened her eyes to look at him. She tried to focus on him as her sight was still a little fuzzy.
"Hey there. How are you feeling?" he asked gently.
She smiled. "OK." She looked at her hand in his and squeezed his fingers. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"Why not?"
"Thought you'd have more important priorities," she whispered, "than sitting watching me sleep."
Jack moved his hand to cup her face. "You're the only important priority I have." He smiled. "And I like watching you sleep."
She felt herself blushing. "How long have I been here?"
"Since yesterday morning. We thought we were going to lose you." He looked into her eyes. "I have never been so afraid."
Sam saw his face looking so tender and knew he was speaking the truth. Silently, she brought his hand to her lips and kissed it. "I'm not going anywhere," she whispered.
"I'm glad," came his reply.
He knew then that when she was beside him he could face anything the powers threw at him.
At last, he had found his way home.
end
Story Notes: Email: amanda.hawthorn@talk21.com
Category: S/J romance, angst
Spoilers: minor mentions of Jolinar's Memories, Solitudes, Point of View
Season/Sequel info: third season
Content Warnings: none
Archive: "Heliopolis" and "Sam and Jack"
Date: March 2000
Feedback: Yes please, good or bad! No flames please.
copyright Amanda Hawthorn March 2000
Category: S/J romance, angst
Spoilers: minor mentions of Jolinar's Memories, Solitudes, Point of View
Season/Sequel info: third season
Content Warnings: none
Archive: "Heliopolis" and "Sam and Jack"
Date: March 2000
Feedback: Yes please, good or bad! No flames please.
copyright Amanda Hawthorn March 2000
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]