Once upon a time in a country far, far away, there lived a King with his Queen in a castle. The King was brave and smart and the Queen was gentle and well loved throughout the kingdom. They were very happy together, only one thing was missing: a child to fulfil their love. But one day their happiness was made complete when a child was born. They called him Jackwhite.
The first years in Jackwhite's life were perfectly happy, he loved the King and the Queen and they loved him. But then a tragedy happened. The King died of a heart attack when he tried to chase a deer. Jackwhite and his mother cried very long, because they missed him very much. But life goes on and Jackwhite started to like his life again, playing and learning how to become King himself.
But then his mother decided to marry again. She explained to him: "You have to have a father, Jackwhite, and the Kingdom needs a King too." He understood that. What he didn't understand, was that she chose the evil King Maybourne as a husband. After that life was hell for the young prince. King Maybourne disliked the good-looking Jackwhite very much, because he was very plain himself. Everyday he asked his magic mirror: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the most beautiful eyes of them all?" And everyday the mirror answered: "Prince Jackwhite has the most beautiful eyes of them all. Do you really think that will change overnight?" The mirror didn't like King Maybourne, it thought the King was plain *and* stupid, and didn't have beautiful eyes at all.
King Maybourne spent most of his time thinking of ways to get rid of the beautiful prince and he finally had an idea. He was going to kill Jackwhite. Well, not he himself, Jackwhite was after all a well built young man by now. He would ask the giant Daniel to take Jackwhite to the great forest and then kill him. As proof the giant Daniel had to bring back Jackwhite's heart and liver.
When the giant Daniel heard that, he paled considerably. He pushed back his giant glasses and said: "Umm, I don't think I can do that, King Maybourne, I faint when I see blood. Besides, Jackwhite is my friend." King Maybourne thought this over and decided: "Ok, you will bring back Jackwhite's shirt then, and you will kill him, because I'm the King, and thus I'm the one saying what's going to happen."
The giant Daniel was a giant coward and thus he agreed to take Jackwhite to the forest. The next day the giant Daniel asked Jackwhite to come and walk with him. Jackwhite complied happily, he really liked the giant Daniel, even though the giant tended to talk a lot, and boring too. When the arrived in the middle of the great forest, the giant Daniel asked Jack to take of his shirt, "because I have to kill you and bring back the shirt as evidence," he explained.
Jackwhite was shocked. "What!" he exclaimed, "you can't kill me, we're friends. And besides, you can't stand the sight of blood, you know you faint when you see blood." The giant Daniel agreed. He told Jackwhite that he only obeyed King Maybourne, because he was afraid of him. But now the giant Daniel had an idea: "I'll just take back the shirt, and you will walk in that direction until you're past the seven mountains."
Jackwhite agreed, hugged the giant Daniel goodbye and left in the direction of the seven mountains /sans/ shirt. He walked all day and finally arrived at the other side of the seven mountains. It was getting dark by then and Jackwhite looked around for a place where he might find a bed to sleep in. Not far away he saw a neat little house. He walked in that direction and knocked on the door. No one answered and he knocked again, harder this time. Still no one answered, but the door had opened slightly. Jackwhite pushed it open wider and walked inside, calling: "Hello, anyone there?"
Still no one answered and Jackwhite explored the neat little house. It was nicely decorated, but there were no people in it. When Jackwhite came to the bedroom, he saw seven neat little beds lined up along the wall. He was curious, but he was really too tired to care. He curled up in the first bed and promptly fell asleep.
A few minutes later the front door of the neat little house opened again, this time to let the owners in. They noticed immediately that something was wrong, that someone had been there. They searched the house quickly and found Jackwhite, sleeping in one of their beds. They stood looking at him, but he didn't wake up, he was simply too tired. The owners of the neat little house saw the exhaustion on Jackwhite's face and decided to let him sleep, they could talk with him in the morning.
The next morning Jackwhite woke early. He wanted to stretch, but there was no room. He looked around, a bit dazed, where was he? But then it started to come back to him. Still he didn't see the owner of the neat little house, so he decided to leave quietly and leave a note to explain what had happened.
But when he walked into the kitchen seven pairs of eyes looked at him. Jackwhite smiled and introduced himself. The owner of one of the pairs of eyes smiled back at him and stretched out a hand. "Hello," he said, "We are the seven tiny Teal'cs. What are you doing in our neat little house, sleeping in one of our neat little beds?" Jackwhite looked a little embarrassed, and explained quickly what happened.
The seven tiny Teal'cs nodded in understanding and one of them said: "We know the evil King Maybourne and we know nothing good of him. As you are one of his victims you can stay here as long as you want to. There's only one condition: you will have to build your own bed." Jackwhite eagerly agreed, he liked the seven tiny Teal'cs. Jackwhite built his bed and lived very happily in the neat little house.
Meanwhile on the other side of the seven mountains, in King Maybourne's castle, the giant Daniel had brought back Jackwhite's shirt and the evil King was very happy. But that happiness passed real quick. King Maybourne immediately went to ask his mirror again: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the most beautiful eyes of them all?" And the mirror answered: "Prince Jackwhite has the most beautiful eyes of them all, just as always. Did you really think the giant Daniel would kill his best friend?"
But King Maybourne didn't think that much, that was his main problem. He was really mad at the giant Daniel and immediately summoned him to the castle. He shouted at him and threatened to kill him. But Daniel just shrugged his shoulders and said: "I don't think you can kill me, I'm a giant, remember. And even though I can't stand the sight of blood, I could always just sit on you, now, couldn't I?"
King Maybourne got scared and sent the giant Daniel away. But what could he do now? He had to get rid of that Jackwhite, no girl would look at him as long as Jackwhite was alive, even though he was King and Jackwhite wasn't. Suddenly a ring-formed decoration in the castle wall came to life. A lot of water came out of it and then went back in. Out of the ring, now filled with water, came a person with yellow eyes.
"HI," it said, "I'M YOUR EVIL FAIRY. MY NAME IS APOPHIS. WHAT IS YOUR WISH?" King Maybourne was so scared, that he had hidden behind a table. He peered over it and squeaked: "I want prince Jackwhite killed, because he has more beautiful eyes than me." Apophis grinned his evil grin and said: "IT WILL BE AS YOU WISH. HERE YOU HAVE A POISONED APPLE. GIVE IT TO HIM AND HE WILL DIE. YOU WILL DRESS UP AS AN ALIEN, THEN HE WILL NOT RECOGNISE YOU."
Apophis grabbed behind him in the ring and took out a rotting apple and his last year's Halloween costume. King Maybourne smiled delighted. He immediately started to take off his clothes, so he could try on the costume. "WAIT," Apophis bellowed, "I DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS. I WILL GO BACK TO FAIRYLAND NOW." Maybourne waved at him and tried on the costume. It was a nice fit and he started towards the forest immediately.
It was a long walk through the forest and past the seven mountains, but King Maybourne managed it. He knocked on the neat little door of the neat little house and Jackwhite opened the door. He saw wrinkled alien offering him a rotting apple. The alien said: "I want to offer you this precious fruit in the name of interspecies' friendship." Well, thought Jackwhite, I really don 't have a choice here. After all, I don't want to start an intergalactic war. And thus he accepted the rotting apple and took a bite.
Immediately he fell down. King Maybourne, a.k.a. the alien, cackled an insane laugh and went back to his castle. At last the mirror answered what he wanted to hear after he asked it: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the most beautiful eyes of them all?" The mirror said: "You, you ugly, evil King. Are you happy now?"
At the neat little house, in the meantime, the seven little Teal'cs were in a state of shock, because they had come to like Jackwhite very much. "He must have fallen victim to the evil King Maybourne after all," one of them said. "Yes," agreed another one, "I suggest we put him in a glass coffin and put him at the top of the mountain so that we will never forget our beloved friend Jackwhite and also will remember to revenge him and everyone else."
And they did just that. They put Jackwhite in a glass coffin and then tried to carry him up the mountain. This was not easy for the tiny Teal'cs because Jackwhite was a full grown man and they were, after all, only tiny Teal'cs. At that moment someone on a horse came to them. It was the lady Samantha, warrior princess, followed by her faithful squire Martouf. The lady Samantha took one look in the glass coffin and fell head over heels in love with Jackwhite. Puffing, Martouf came to the coffin as well, he had been lagging behind, he didn't have a good condition, which he definitely needed if he wanted to keep up with the lady Samantha's horse, which was named MALP for some strange reason. Martouf looked at the coffin as well and decided he disliked the dead guy.
Samantha in the meantime, had asked the tiny Teal'cs what was happening and they explained the whole story to her. She nodded in understanding and then ordered Martouf to help the tiny Teal'cs carrying the glass coffin. Martouf obeyed, muttering under his breath. Martouf burned with an undying love for Samantha, whom he liked to call Jolinar, and obeyed her every command and thus this one as well.
But he couldn't keep his eyes of Samantha and didn't look where he was going. That is why he walked into a tree, face first and as a result he dropped the glass coffin. The crash made the apple piece fly out of Jackwhite's mouth and he started breathing again. He opened his beautiful eyes and looked straight into Samantha's eyes. He immediately fell deeply and totally in love with her.
He sat up, took Samantha's hand and said: "Hi, I'm Jackwhite, will you marry me?" And Samantha answered: "Yes, I do. Oh, by the way, my name's Samantha." They decided to go to Samantha's father, Jacob, who lived in a castle, together with his invisible friend, Selmak. Jacob didn't object to the marriage between his daughter and Jackwhite and suggested that the wedding should take place the next day.
But Jackwhite didn't want that. He said that he wanted to finish the evil King Maybourne off first. Then he could bring his mother and his friend, the giant Daniel with him to come to the wedding as well. Samantha, warrior princess, and Jackwhite set out to the castle of the evil King Maybourne, accompanied by the tiny Teal'cs and the faithful, but desperate squire Martouf.
The fight was extremely short. They rang the doorbell and when King Maybourne opened the door, Samantha decapitated him with one blow of her sword. They went inside to find Jackwhite's mother and they saw the ring-formed decoration on the wall. The water inside it moved in slow waves and Martouf became curious about it. He put one hand inside and disappeared into oblivion.
Jackwhite's mother was extremely happy that the evil King Maybourne was dead and started packing right away. In the meantime Jackwhite found the giant Daniel and invited him to the wedding as well. "Oh, jolly," Daniel said, "What will I wear? Ancient Egyptians used to wear..." Jackwhite didn't hear what Daniel said, he sort of automatically turned deaf when the giant Daniel started talking like that.
They all went back to Jacob's castle and had a big party that lasted a whole week. Samantha's father and Jackwhite's mother hit it off extremely well. The tiny Teal'cs sang 'Row, row, row your boat' together and the giant Daniel found a new friend. In Jacob's kingdom, there lived a giant too, the giant Sha're and Jacob had invited her to meet the giant Daniel.
And Jackwhite and Samantha? They got married that day (week?) and couldn't stop kissing each other. And somewhere in another castle a mirror muttered: "And who has the most beautiful eyes, huh? Jackwhite of course, he always had the most beautiful eyes and he always will have. Thank God that Maybourne's dead. I couldn't stand that stupid question anymore. Like I don't know anything else."
And they lived happily ever after!!!
The End
Story Notes: E-mail: cbosman@pt.lu
Warning: Character death (sort of anyway)
Spoilers: none that I can think of, well perhaps a tiny one for Tokra II
Archive: SJA exclusive
Author's note: this story is supposed to be funny. At least I had a lot of fun writing it. My inspiration came from a story called Jack O'Nella. I just started thinking about fairytales in general and suddenly this image popped into my mind. And then I just had to write this story. Please tell me what you think. I discovered that I love feedback.
Warning: Character death (sort of anyway)
Spoilers: none that I can think of, well perhaps a tiny one for Tokra II
Archive: SJA exclusive
Author's note: this story is supposed to be funny. At least I had a lot of fun writing it. My inspiration came from a story called Jack O'Nella. I just started thinking about fairytales in general and suddenly this image popped into my mind. And then I just had to write this story. Please tell me what you think. I discovered that I love feedback.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]