Sam groaned as she picked up her holdall full of clothes. SG-1 had returned three hours previously and she was heading off home. There had not been much to report in the mission debrief other than Daniel’s recommendation that SG-9 be sent back to the planet on a longer term basis to explore the ruins. Daniel, Teal’c and Janet were all off out for the evening, Sam knew, but she had declined their invitation. Preferring the idea of seeing her daughter after four days apart, Sam had decided it was better to head home than choose to go out and socialise. It tended to be after a mission that she would have the slight thought that it would be a much simpler life if she took a desk job. The hours at a Pentagon or SGC research position might be long on occasion, but she would rarely have to spend two nights in a row away from her child. Whilst Sam’s career was still important to her, it was beginning to become second place to Daniella. She was aware that even a desk job at SGC did not give an absolute certainty of being home every night, but it was more of a guarantee than in her current job. Daniella had been born just after SGC had come under attack by an alien foe from P5T-597 and there were countless examples of aliens, viruses, electrical life forms, time loops, time distortions and many more which would prevent Sam from getting home in time for Daniella’s bed time. She could not help it if she had the knowledge and experience to be depended on a lot of the time and that the only other people that had the knowledge to replace her did not have the necessary military skills or the past seven years’ experience of going through the Stargate. Although the thought of someone like Rodney McKay on SG-1 with Jack made Sam smile.
Sam was not sure what Jack was up to that evening, but as long as one of them got home by seven pm so that the nanny could have the night off, it did not matter. Their nanny stayed with them seven nights a week to provide some stability and a constant for Daniella. Sasha tended to look after Daniella alone in the house whilst Jack and Sam were on missions, with Janet and Cassie popping in to visit their favourite toddler on many occasions and that was not including the Air Force personnel who would covertly watch them from afar. When either Sam or Jack were at home, Sasha was allowed time off in the evenings as she had to still look after Daniella during the day when Sam worked on base. Sasha had no idea about Sam and Jack’s work, knowing only that they worked for the Air Force. She never questioned their long times away or the numerous scrapes and bruises they would often return with. It would undoubtedly be only a matter of time before Sasha would learn something confidential. Sasha had been vetted by the Air Force so that if the time came, she could be told about the Stargate Program. Sam had no idea what the poor woman thought half the time, but it did not seem to bother her too much.
Luckily neither of them would be returning with any scrapes or bruises this time. Sam was not sure why, but she did have a shooting pain in her shoulder. She pushed the locker door closed and picked up her keys, wincing in pain. The only thing she could think was that maybe she had slept funny the night before.
“You all right?” Sam looked up and saw Jack standing in front of the door, leaning against the locker room door.
Sam nodded, trying to ignore the flashes of memories of more recent occasions in the locker room with Jack. “Just some shoulder pain.” He removed his hands from his cream trouser pockets and took her bag from her. She did not object to his act of chivalry. He slung the bag over his shoulder without a word. “Thanks.”
“Mine’s in the truck,” he explained as they began their walk to the elevator.
“Are you going out with the guys tonight?” she enquired.
He shook his head. “Wanted to spend some time at home.”
Sam nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. The simple act of being at home and spending time with Daniella was all either of them ever really wanted to do with their free time, especially as it prevented them from being alone. Everything was going so well at home – the three of them really were just like any ordinary family, except for the small fact that Sam and Jack were in separate bedrooms and the uncomfortable tension that arose anytime they found themselves alone in a room. Sam had had deep feelings for her commanding officer for years whilst under his command and she still did, which had become more and more of a problem since living with him. Sometimes, Sam questioned what was truly keeping them apart.
There had been many lies between the two of them, many misunderstandings and both had hurt the other unintentionally. She still felt greatly for him, but she was not willing to ruin their happy family and its successful balance with their work. Sam had no idea what would happen if she admitted her love for him. He could reject her and their relationship would rapidly go downhill, affecting their family and daughter significantly for the worse. Or he could take her in his arms and kiss her like never before. Unfortunately, after that the regulations would be broken and SG-1 would be significantly altered again with both Sam and Jack being court martialled. Or they could manage to escape the court martial, have Sam removed from SG-1 and live happily ever after as a completely normal family. Or the relationship, which had never proven successful before, could disintegrate and Daniella would be caught right in the middle. Sam could not risk any of those options and she did not have enough faith that they could both escape court martial and live happily ever after. Sam had never really been one for fairy-tales.
They entered the elevator with Jack allowing her entrance first. Another chivalrous act, Sam thought. Once the lift was climbing the many storeys to the surface, Sam spoke, “So, is Carpenter going out with the guys tonight?”
“Don’t think so,” Jack shrugged. “She really doesn’t socialise with them much.” They both knew that they had started on this conversation a lot earlier during the mission, but now that they were heading out of work Sam could go down a different avenue with it.
“Or so you think.” Sam knew that her comment would make Jack want to know more. She repressed a grin when he dutifully turned to her.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Gossiping, Colonel?” She continued looking straight ahead so that she could fake innocence.
“Either I’ll make it an order, Major, or I’ll just ask you again when we’re in the car.” He had emphasised her rank despite the fact that Sam knew she had intended to tell him anyway. As far as she was concerned they were on their way out of work in civilian dress and therefore could pass as Sam and Jack rather than Colonel and Major.
“Janet doesn’t really like her,” Sam spoke slowly in an effort to word her sentence correctly. Her friendship with Janet had been strained for a long time because of Sam’s decisions concerning Jack. Sam’s best friend had tried her hardest to still be there for Sam, but had found it very difficult with regards to how badly Jack had hurt her friend. They had reached a new mutual agreement whereby Sam never discussed her non-relationship. It upset Sam that her closest friend was so unhappy with her, but she could understand why Janet was not yet ready to forgive Jack. On one of their more recent ‘girlie’ days, Janet had informed Sam that she did not know the lieutenant very well, but something about her grated against Janet and so she would sometimes try and purposefully not invite the younger lieutenant.
“Really?”
“You can’t say anything to anyone,” she said, trying to make him promise to not to.
“Then maybe you should’ve told ‘Jack’,” he joked.
Sam laughed slightly. Sometimes she really felt like she had a split personality. They continued their journey in the elevator and the second one to the surface in silence with Jack pausing to collect a newspaper from an airman who always got them one when they were finishing late on in the day. Jack paused looking at the front page of the newspaper but said nothing to Sam, passing it to her when they got into his car.
“Did you have any ideas about tonight or this weekend?” she asked over the quiet background noise of the radio. It was past dinner time, but Daniella would be unable to go to bed once she saw her parents. Sam wondered if the three of them should do something together. She was scanning over articles in the national paper, catching herself up with recent news whilst awaiting his answer.
“No,” he responded very shortly and Sam was slightly taken aback by his apparent sudden mood change, but she knew from experience not to question it. Even in their personal lives she left him to his slightly more sullen days. Sam would never be one to say that it was easy living with Jack O’Neill, but it was easier living with him than working with him. There had been occasions where she had gotten angry and become commanding at home, speaking to Jack in a way she never thought would happen and occasionally days had gone passed in silence because of his ‘mood’.
Sam left it a while longer before she tried again, hoping that his mood may have changed again. “Did you want to spend the day with Daniella and I tomorrow?” She hoped that he would not bite her head off because that, along with these moods, had increased in frequency ever since she had reinforced the regulations and lines between them.
“Dunno.” He shrugged his shoulders and did not take his eyes from the road ahead to acknowledge her. Sam continued reading the newspaper with a little more concentration, trying to ignore the silence and tension that now permeated the car. Normally he would jump at the chance to either spend the day together or at least arrange the day so that he got quality time with his daughter, so it was odd that he had become so non-committal and abrupt with his answers. Perhaps no one else would have noticed the slight shift in his body language and demeanour, but Sam had noticed the slight sagging in his shoulders when he had glanced over the newspaper and the stiffness that had followed. From the corner of her eye, Sam could see how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel and she knew that the rest of his body would hold the same tension. Her weekend was not about to play out how she had planned.
SG – SG – SG
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