His and Hers 07: His Plan and Her Project
*Sunday, 13 July 2003*
23.10: Sam Carter
Sir? Are you still alive?
How did the plan go?
Did you asked for Siler's help?
Did Janet find out?
Is Daniel alright?
23.11: Jack O'Neill
Oh, hello Carter.
Nice to hear from you too. How are you?
How's the ride?
23.11: Sam Carter
I'm fine. Great in fact. The ride was perfect; I had such a good time.
Now I've answered your questions, it's your turn to answer mine.
23.11: Jack O'Neill
Bossy.
And don't worry. Daniel is fine, Janet didn't find out and Siler had nothing to do with it. And oh yeah, I'm still very much alive.
23.11: Sam Carter
So? What happened?
23.11: Jack O'Neill
Nothing.
23.11: Sam Carter
Sir, please. You cannot expect me to let it go just like that. So, please do tell.
23.11: Jack O'Neill
No Carter, you don't get it. Nothing happened. I figured that Daniel had just bothered me and he knew it. If I took any action today, he would know that it was me, with or without evidence. So, I decided to lay low for a few days and then when he least expects it, I'll strike.
23.12: Sam Carter
Good thinking.
23.12: Jack O'Neill
Yeah, besides I need your help after all. Janet trusts you, a lot. Better you than Siler. Easier too.
It should be a walk in the park.
23.12: Sam Carter
I've said it before and I’ll say it again.
No, I will not help you.
23.12: Jack O'Neill
Carter, your bike is still not safe, you know.
23.12: Sam Carter
Well Sir, you can't blackmail me with that, you already did that yesterday.
23.12: Jack O'Neill
So?
23.12: Sam Carter
You can't use the bike to threaten me again. You already used it once.
23.12: Jack O'Neill
So?
23.12: Sam Carter
Fine, if that's how you want to play it, then I won't fix any of your toys anymore if they got broken.
23.12: Jack O'Neill
You can't do that. If I have nothing to occupy me then I'll bother you. See, your threat will only backfire.
23.13: Sam Carter
Damn it.
I never thought if that.
23.13: Jack O'Neill
Well, you should.
Anyway, I'll tell you more about my plan when I finish plotting it.
23.13: Sam Carter
Sir, I'm not going to help you.
23.13: Jack O'Neill
Sure, you're not.
23.13: Sam Carter
I mean it.
23.13: Jack O'Neill
Yeah, yeah. You can say what you want, but when the time comes, you'll be by my side, helping me with this plan.
23.13: Sam Carter
Colonel, don't you know the meaning of the word 'no'?
23.13: Jack O'Neill
Of course I do, but not if it come out from you. I'm going to sleep.
Goodnight Carter. See you tomorrow.
23.13: Sam Carter
Colonel O'Neill, Sir, please. I said 'no'.
23.13: Jack O'Neill
Night night.
23.13: Sam Carter
Colonel! I'm not going to help you with this.
23.14: Jack O'Neill
Don't let the bugs bite.
23.14: Sam Carter
Sir! I'm serious. You're on your own.
23.14: Jack O'Neill
Carter, you'll leave this poor Colonel alone? How could you? You're not that mean, are you?
See you tomorrow.
Sweet dreams.
23.14: Sam Carter
'Poor Colonel'? Are you kidding me?
23.17: Sam Carter
Sir? Are you there?
23.19: Sam Carter
Damn it Colonel. You're not getting away with this; I'll talk to you tomorrow.
***
Monday, 14 July 2003
05.38: Jack O'Neill
Rise and shine.
And how are you this morning, Ms. Carter?
05.39: Sam Carter
Ms. Carter? No offence but, are you drunk?
Isn't it too early in the morning to start drinking? And don't forget that we have a briefing at 09.00.
05.39: Jack O'Neill
No, I'm not drunk. I'm just in a very good mood.
05.39: Sam Carter
Should I be afraid, Sir?
05.39: Jack O'Neill
You should.
05.39: Sam Carter
Alright. I'm not going to ask why you're in such a good mood then.
05.39: Jack O'Neill
You do that. See you in the briefing, Major.
05.39: Sam Carter
You just called me with this journal to say that you're in a very good mood?
05.40: Jack O'Neill
Yes. Anything wrong with that?
05.40: Sam Carter
Nothing. See you, Sir.
***
13.59: Jack O'Neill
Boring.
14.03: Jack O'Neill
Carter, respond.
14.06: Jack O'Neill
Major?
14.07: Sam Carter
Sir, I'm up for presentation in about twenty minutes. Can you please leave me alone?
14.07: Jack O'Neill
Just answer this one question. Why am I here?
14.07: Sam Carter
To know the progress that we have made so far, to be the General's representative, to pass some time, to lend me a moral support? I don't know. Pick one.
14.07: Jack O'Neill
Touché.
14.07: Sam Carter
Sorry, Sir. But I'm just a bit nervous.
14.07: Jack O'Neill
You? Nervous? Come on.
14.07: Sam Carter
Sir, every project that I've done in my lab costs a considerable amount of money. If I can't convince them that I am able to juggle my responsibility as a member as SG-1 and my commitment to these projects, I'm doomed.
14.07: Jack O'Neill
Take a deep breath, Carter.
14.07: Sam Carter
How dare they! They didn't even give me a warning.
14.08: Jack O'Neill
Calm down, Carter. It's not only you that they're after; every scientist that works here has to do this.
Besides, that's the whole point, isn't it? To catch all of the eggheads off-guard.
14.08: Sam Carter
I'm sorry for blowing up like that, Colonel. But to tell you the truth, I'm worried.
14.08: Jack O'Neill
And why is that? It's not that they're going to fire you. Who's going to save our butts next time the snakeheads attack us?
14.08: Sam Carter
Sir, I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about them telling me to choose between SG-1 and my projects.
14.08: Jack O'Neill
I'm not going to let them do that. Hammond won’t either.
14.08: Sam Carter
But these men are not from the SGC, they won't listen to you or to the General. They don't know how important SG-1 is. They'll report straight back to the President. What if they decide that I'm not doing the job that I was paid to do?
They know what I can do. And we both know that developing the alien technology that we have so far to defend Earth from the Goa’uld is the main priority. So...
14.08: Jack O'Neill
Hey, the President likes me. Don't you worry; I'll put in a good word for you.
Now, smile! And don't frown like that; we're not in an imminent danger. We don't want you to have wrinkles so soon now, do we?
You'll do great. You'll impress those two men in black in record time so that they will recommend your promotion to the good ol' Prez. And when they do that, we'll make sure that your spot in SG-1 is not an option. It is a must.
14.08: Sam Carter
Men in Black? Good ol' Prez?
Are you sure you're not drunk, Sir?
14.09: Jack O'Neill
There you go. Nice smile, Major. But don't smile like that to any hot-blooded male; it could give you some troubles. And we don't want that, do we? But I know you can kick their butts, and if that ever happens, please let me know, I want to see it.
What's wrong with men in black? Those two Pentagon guys who assessed you wore identical black suits and sunglasses, and they are after aliens (sort of, indirectly anyway).
Me and the Prez go way, way, way back. We chat regularly on the phone.
Besides, this is only a ten minutes presentation, right? What could go wrong?
14.09: Sam Carter
Thank you, Sir.
For cheering me up and calming me down, I mean.
14.09: Jack O'Neill
No problem. I am famous of my calming effect on other people.
So, tell me why I am here again?
14.09: Sam Carter
I choose not to respond to your claim, Sir.
Well, the General wants you to make sure that those 'men in black' follow the rules; you are here to observe the assessment procedure.
14.09: Jack O'Neill
Oh, babysitting you mean?
14.09: Sam Carter
Well, yeah.
14.10: Jack O'Neill
And your moral support as well?
14.10: Sam Carter
If you don't mind, Colonel, I would very much like that.
14.10: Jack O'Neill
Hey, that's what superior officer is for.
So, what are you going to talk about to these fine gentlemen?
14.10: Sam Carter
My current projects I suppose. That's what they wanted us to do anyway.
14.10: Jack O'Neill
What happen of you fail this evaluation?
14.10: Sam Carter
I honestly don't know. You could get a warning, or you could get sack straight away. It depends on how productive you are, I suppose.
14.10: Jack O'Neill
That will explain those long faces in this room.
So, why are they doing this again?
14.10: Sam Carter
To see if all the money that have been put into their project are really paying off.
14.10: Jack O'Neill
How much is that exactly?
14.10: Sam Carter
I know my budget, but I'm not sure about the others.
14.11: Jack O'Neill
How much is your budget?
14.11: Sam Carter
A lot.
14.11: Jack O'Neill
You're not going to tell me, are you?
14.11: Sam Carter
I can divulge that information. Sorry.
14.11: Jack O'Neill
Nah, it's OK. I'm just curious, that's all.
14.11: Sam Carter
I'm going to do a last minute reading now; I'll talk to you again after the presentation.
14.11: Jack O'Neill
You'll be alright, Carter.
14.12: Sam Carter
Thanks, Sir.
***
14.51: Jack O'Neill
See, I told you that you would do great. You amazed them.
14.51: Sam Carter
You didn’t understand a word that I was saying up there, do you, Sir?
14.51: Jack O'Neill
Yes, and that's the indication that you were doing great.
14.51: Sam Carter
Thanks, I think.
14.52: Jack O'Neill
Carter, what did I said about your smile? This is a room full of Carter's fan club, don't do it too often.
14.52: Sam Carter
You're the one who made me smile.
PS: Carter's fan club?
14.52: Jack O'Neill
I'm starting to regret it.
PS: Yes. Didn't you know that most of the geeks here have a thing for you? And I don't mean your brain, I mean 'you', in flesh and blood.
14.52: Sam Carter
Really? You prefer me frowning than smiling?
PS: Really?
14.52: Jack O'Neill
Well, maybe not. But don't do it in a room full of your admirers. It'll only encourage them more.
PS: Yes, so stop smiling already. You could give us away.
14.52: Sam Carter
OK Boss.
PS: I'll try. But I don't think I could give us away, I could always say that someone sent a very amusing email through my Palm.
14.52: Jack O'Neill
And who will you say sent this email?
14.52: Sam Carter
You, of course.
14.53: Jack O'Neill
I see that you have your spirit back. Well done.
We should concentrate more on this assessment process.
14.53: Sam Carter
I think you're right.
14.53: Jack O'Neill
We'll talk again once this is finished. It's starting to get difficult to hide this Palm from the others.
14.53: Sam Carter
OK.
***
19.44: Jack O'Neill
Man, I'm so tired. I never knew that assessments could last this long. All you guys do is just talk and talk and talk and talk. But how can this feel tiring just to hear you talk?
19.44: Sam Carter
Maybe because you’ve heard us for a total amount of almost six hours, Sir.
19.44: Jack O'Neill
Six hours?
How did I manage to sit there for six hours doing nothing but listening to some geeks talking?
19.45: Sam Carter
Actually, Sir, you were having fun at their expense.
And don't bother denying it; I know that you were enjoying their nervousness.
19.45: Jack O'Neill
Maybe I was.
But it still didn't explain the tiredness part.
19.45: Sam Carter
You were trying your best not to laugh or snicker, Sir. That took a lot of effort. And that is so considerate of you, Sir.
19.45: Jack O'Neill
I guess you're right.
Hey, I saw one of the men in black talk to you after we finished, what did he want?
19.45: Sam Carter
Dr. Jenkins had been asking me about the naquadria. He's been studying it for a while now.
19.45: Jack O'Neill
That's it?
19.45: Sam Carter
That and he was wondering if he could buy me a drink afterwards.
19.45: Jack O'Neill
Oh, and what did you say?
19.45: Sam Carter
I said thanks but no thanks. To be completely honest, Sir, he's not my type.
19.45: Jack O'Neill
Really? What's your type anyway?
19.46: Sam Carter
The perfect gentleman who has the combination of good qualities of Daniel, Teal'c and you. With a pinch of General Hammond's charm. That ought to do it.
19.46: Jack O'Neill
In other word, the extinct type, the one that you could only find in cheesy romance novels, Carter?
19.46: Sam Carter
That's one way to put it.
19.46: Jack O'Neill
Your standard is too high; you know that, don’t you?
19.46: Sam Carter
Well, a girl could dream, right? Is not like I'm going to find Mr. Right anytime soon. Might as well set a ridiculously high standard.
What about you, Sir? What's your type of woman?
19.46: Jack O'Neill
I'm not too picky like you. For me, as long as she appreciates my sense of humour, loves the Simpson’s, doesn’t mind my working on a highly classified project, understands my sarcasm, realises that I wouldn't put her above my team, puts up with my bad moods, and doesn’t ask questions about my past, that should do it.
19.47: Sam Carter
In other words, the 'too good to be true' type, the one that could only exist in your dreams, Sir?
19.47: Jack O'Neill
Yup, that's the one.
19.47: Sam Carter
We're hopeless.
19.47: Jack O'Neill
Oh well, what's new?
19.47: Sam Carter
Enough about this, I need something to eat. Want to join me in the mess hall, Sir?
19.47: Jack O'Neill
Are you sure about the mess hall? I think it's full already. Most of the geeks were there last time I check. I guess all the presentation makes them hungry too.
19.47: Sam Carter
Oh please, Sir. This is me you're talking too. You always pull rank to get a table there.
19.48: Jack O'Neill
Good point. I'll see you there in ten minutes.
19.48: Sam Carter
See you there.
***
23.49: Jack O'Neill
Oy, Carter. I just realise something. Why Daniel wasn't getting assessed today?
23.50: Sam Carter
Well, today is for the science department. His is in archaeology; I don't know when his version of the men in black would come.
23.50: Jack O'Neill
Oh. OK.
23.50: Sam Carter
Why the sudden interest?
23.50: Jack O'Neill
Well, I figure that maybe aggravating Janet in order to get back at Daniel would be a little bit of overkill.
23.50: Sam Carter
I'm glad that you finally have some sense, Sir.
23.50: Jack O'Neill
Shut it, Major. I'm thinking here.
23.50: Sam Carter
Shutting up now. Good luck with the new plan.
23.50: Jack O'Neill
You realise that you have to help me with this, don't you?
23.50: Sam Carter
Just let me know what the plan is first, Sir. Then I *might* volunteer to help you.
23.51: Jack O'Neill
Remember your bike, Carter.
23.51: Sam Carter
OK, OK. I’ll help you. Jeez, I never thought that my bike would be this much of a burden. Should've bought a scooter instead.
It's cheaper too.
And easier to maintain as well.
Damn, I bought the wrong motorbike.
23.51: Jack O'Neill
O'Neill's second lesson in life: Know thy enemy.
23.51: Sam Carter
You treat me as your enemy? That hurt, Sir.
23.51: Jack O'Neill
Oh, cut the melodrama. What makes you think that I'm going to fall for that?
23.51: Sam Carter
Damn. That obvious, huh?
23.51: Jack O'Neill
Anyway, I'm going to start plotting this new plan. Daniel will get what he’s been asking for.
23.51: Sam Carter
I'll leave you to it, Sir. But may I remind you that Daniel is our friend, and please take into consideration what a hassle it was to look for his replacement when he was ascended.
23.51: Jack O'Neill
Your concern is noted, Major.
23.51: Sam Carter
OK then, I'm going to bed now. I have a long day today.
See you tomorrow.
And be gentle with Daniel.
23.52: Jack O'Neill
Good night, Carter. Sleep well.
23.52: Sam Carter
Back at you, Sir.
***