His and Hers 08: His Cabin and Her Cactus
*Monday, 15 July 2003*
05.40 : Sam Carter
Good morning, Sir.
05.43 : Jack O'Neill
Morning, Carter. What's up?
05.43 : Sam Carter
Nothing's up. I just want to tell you that I'm coming in late today. I have something to take care of. I'll call the General later on, but I just want you to know too, in case you were looking for me.
05.43 : Jack O'Neill
What is it? Nothing too serious, I hope.
05.44 : Sam Carter
No. It's just that Newton doesn't look good. I'm going to take him to the Botanic Centre today, to see if they can help him.
05.44 : Jack O'Neill
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn't Newton the name you gave to the cactus that I gave you last year?
05.44 : Sam Carter
Yes, that's him.
05.44 : Jack O'Neill
And again, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't cacti the easiest plants to take care of? That's why I got it for you in the first place, seeing as we spend a lot of our time off-world.
05.44 : Sam Carter
Yes, you are correct.
05.44 : Jack O'Neill
And just one more thing, you have bunch of other plants that need special care for them to stay alive, don't you? Like bonsai or something like that.
05.44 : Sam Carter
Yes, I have.
05.44 : Jack O'Neill
So, how come out of all those plants that you have, it is the cactus that has a problem? Do you have some personal grudge against me and you're taking it out on my gift?
05.45 : Sam Carter
Don't know. My best guess is that I think he was mad at me because I kept ignoring him.
And no Sir, I don't have any grudge against you. At least, not now.
05.45 : Jack O'Neill
Excuse me?
05.45 : Sam Carter
Well, because all the others need special attention, I spent quite a lot of time with them. And, because Newton only needs watering every two or three days, he was jealous of the others.
05.45 : Jack O'Neill
You're making fun of me, aren't you? I know the whole deal about the 'talking to your plants' thing, but this is taking it too far, even for you.
05.45 : Sam Carter
Not too subtle, huh? I guess I need more practice in that area.
05.45 : Jack O'Neill
Carter!
05.45 : Sam Carter
Sorry, Sir. But I honestly don't know what's wrong with him, that's why I need an expert's help. Hopefully, he hasn't caught a disease.
05.45 : Jack O'Neill
I see. You take good care of him. I think the SGC could afford to let you come in late for work today.
05.45 : Sam Carter
Thanks, Sir.
05.45 : Jack O'Neill
You're welcome.
***
11.08 : Sam Carter
Sir, what's all the fuss about? I came in here and to be honest, I haven't seen the SGC in such a good mood in ... well, a long time. People are smiling, for no good reason, and it's started to scare me a little bit.
11.09 : Jack O'Neill
Oh, nothing important really. But rumours have said that because of the good jobs we've been doing, a raise is in order. Prez's order.
How's Newie, by the way?
11.09 : Sam Carter
Really?
Newie? That's an awful nickname, if you don't mind me saying. I'm not sure about Newton, but hopefully Dr. Spencer could do something about him. She said that she needs to have him in observation for at least a week.
11.09 : Jack O'Neill
Hammond hasn't said a word just yet, but you know how people get excited just hearing this kind of gossip.
Sorry to hear about your cactus.
What's wrong with Newie?
11.09 : Sam Carter
And it doesn't excite you?
I'm sure Newton will be OK, Sir. Dr. Spencer is very good at what she does.
And as I said before, Newie is an awful nickname.
11.09 : Jack O'Neill
Well, I would prefer downtime. A chance to put my feet up for a while, the whole saving the world thing is tiring.
Would you rather me call him Spike?
11.09 : Sam Carter
You just want more time to fish, don't you?
No, thank you. Newie is fine.
11.10 : Jack O'Neill
That too.
And Carter, you don't have to make it sound like an accusation. There's nothing wrong with fishing.
See, Newie is not so bad after all.
11.10 : Sam Carter
Why do you like fishing so much, if you don't mind me asking, Sir?
11.10 : Jack O'Neill
Well, it's not about the fishing itself, but the whole package. The silence, nature, and a chance to be alone.
11.10 : Sam Carter
To be alone? Is that really what you want?
11.10 : Jack O'Neill
Well, sometimes I do. You know how private I can be.
11.10 : Sam Carter
So private that you went somewhere with nothing but fish?
11.10 : Jack O'Neill
Hey, don't forget about the lake and the cabin. It's not all about the fish!
11.10 : Sam Carter
I bet they are beautiful.
11.10 : Jack O'Neill
Huh?
11.11 : Sam Carter
The lake and the cabin. I bet they are beautiful.
11.11 : Jack O'Neill
They are. There are just no words to describe it. You have to see it for yourself.
The invitation is still there, you know.
11.11 : Sam Carter
I know. I'll say 'yes' someday.
I promise.
But not today.
11.11 : Jack O'Neill
I know you will.
11.11 : Sam Carter
All right, I had better get back to work then.
11.11 : Jack O'Neill
I'll see you in the mess hall for lunch?
11.11 : Sam Carter
I'll be there.
11.11 : Jack O'Neill
12:00 sharp.
11.11 : Sam Carter
Yes, Sir.
***
15.54 : Jack O'Neill
Hey, can you come to my office tonight?
15.56 : Sam Carter
Sure. Is there something wrong?
15.56 : Jack O'Neill
It's our first briefing on Operation 'Make Daniel Suffer'.
15.56 : Sam Carter
Operation 'Make Daniel Suffer'?
Is that the best you can do, Sir?
15.56 : Jack O'Neill
Hey! I focused all my attention on the plan itself; I didn't have time to think of some fancy name for it.
15.56 : Sam Carter
Makes sense. But I think we need a new name. We need to be more tactful.
15.56 : Jack O'Neill
Since when do I care about anything but the planning, the execution and the results of an operation?
15.57 : Sam Carter
You got me there.
What time do you want me in your office?
15.57 : Jack O'Neill
Around 20.00. I hope you haven't got anything planned.
15.57 : Sam Carter
I'm free at that time. I'll let you know if something comes up, though.
15.57 : Jack O'Neill
Cool. I'll see you there, then.
***
17.42 : Sam Carter
Colonel, Daniel is looking for you. He has something to say about our mission tomorrow.
17.43 : Jack O'Neill
What's wrong?
17.43 : Sam Carter
He said that he wants to pass on this one. He prefers to go with SG-6 instead - they were investigating the dig site that we found in P86 745.
17.43 : Jack O'Neill
That little traitor. Any mention of a 'dig site' and off he goes, bailing out on us. Where is he? I need to talk to him about togetherness and teamwork.
17.43 : Sam Carter
Er, General Hammond has already said 'yes', so there's not much that you can do. Besides, our mission doesn't really need his expertise. I'm quite sure Daniel has already seen a lot of rebel Jaffa in his lifetime.
17.43 : Jack O'Neill
Damn him.
And you better not go following his example, Carter. You know how Teal'c is when he was around those Jaffa. Honestly, you would've thought that they were some sort of long lost brothers or something. I'll need good company to pass the time with. I don't care how important the experiments in your lab are; I want you there, with me.
17.43 : Sam Carter
You sure know how to make a girl feel wanted.
17.43 : Jack O'Neill
Hey, we're talking about you here, not any girl. I think honesty is always the best policy when dealing with you. At least you know that I don't have any ulterior motive.
17.43 : Sam Carter
You? No ulterior motive?
Are you feeling well, Colonel? No fever? No headache? How about voices in your head? Want to see Janet? She can fix whatever needs fixing.
17.43 : Jack O'Neill
This is what I get for being honest? It makes me wonder what you would say if I lied.
17.44 : Sam Carter
Well, if that ever happens, you might want to be more cautious about what I will *do*, rather than 'say'. But then again, it's not like you haven't lied to me before.
17.44 : Jack O'Neill
I had a very good reason for that; I was just following orders.
17.44 : Sam Carter
I understand. But that still didn't change the fact that it hurt.
17.44 : Jack O'Neill
It's not like you never lied to me, too.
17.44 : Sam Carter
I'm no angel. But I only do that if I have a profound reason.
Or planning a prank.
17.44 : Jack O'Neill
Planning a prank? This is new.
Tell me, what kind of prank?
17.44 : Sam Carter
You remember Ferretti and his new hair-do last month?
17.44 : Jack O'Neill
That was you?
17.44 : Sam Carter
Yes.
17.44 : Jack O'Neill
How did you manage to do that?
17.44 : Sam Carter
Easy. Reynolds owed me a favour, so in return, I asked him to put something inside Ferretti's shampoo bottle. He knows how to pick a lock, and when SG-2 was off-world, well, you know.
17.44 : Jack O'Neill
That was so ... juvenile.
17.45 : Sam Carter
And because of that, no one would suspect me.
17.45 : Jack O'Neill
Damn, you're good.
Have you ever pulled a prank on me?
17.45 : Sam Carter
I rather not say.
17.45 : Jack O'Neill
We both know *that* was your subtle way to say 'yes'.
17.45 : Sam Carter
I'm not saying anything.
17.45 : Jack O'Neill
You don't have to. After I finish dealing with Daniel, you're next.
17.45 : Sam Carter
But Sir, if you don't know what I did to you, how can you know what you're going to do to me?
17.45 : Jack O'Neill
Oh, don't you pull that crap on me. You did something. That's all that matters.
17.45 : Sam Carter
But I'm helping you with your little operation on Daniel.
17.45 : Jack O'Neill
That doesn't change the fact that you did something. To me.
17.46 : Sam Carter
Can I buy my way out of this?
17.46 : Jack O'Neill
Interesting. What are you offering?
17.46 : Sam Carter
What about if I promise not to abandon you tomorrow?
17.46 : Jack O'Neill
Darn it Carter. You can't use that against me.
17.46 : Sam Carter
Why not?
Because, I happen to know that SG-9 will be back tonight, and I also know for certain, that they will bring some interesting gizmos with them. They said so in their last check-up. Isn't that wonderful?
What do you think?
17.46 : Jack O'Neill
Tell me, Carter; is Jacob really your father? Are you sure it's not the devil?
17.46 : Sam Carter
Why, Sir. This is between the two of us, I'm sure there's no need to bring up my father.
17.47 : Jack O'Neill
You know what, I'll ask Janet to run some tests on your DNA; she might find something interesting there. Something that connects you to the underworld.
17.47 : Sam Carter
You don't have to be so mean, Colonel. After all, I'm only using my brain to avoid your unjustified wrath; it's not a crime.
17.47 : Jack O'Neill
Unjustified wrath?
And it *is* a crime. Against my sanity.
17.47 : Sam Carter
Oh, that's right. Sorry, my mistake. I plead guilty on that one.
So, did I manage to get out of this predicament?
17.47 : Jack O'Neill
Fine, fine. I'll let you go this time. But don't expect me to be this lenient the next time. You caught me in one of my weak moments.
17.47 : Sam Carter
You seem to be having those weak moments quite often lately.
17.47 : Jack O'Neill
Hmm. You are the reason why.
17.47 : Sam Carter
Ah.
Permission to be proud of it, Sir?
17.47 : Jack O'Neill
Permission denied.
Go play with your gadget or whatever it is that you have in your possession at this moment. Leave me be!
17.47 : Sam Carter
If that's what you really want, then I'll leave you alone.
See you later, Sir.
17.47 : Jack O'Neill
Don't forget the 20.00 meeting in my office.
17.47 : Sam Carter
How can I? My bike is at stake here. I only agreed to do this because you threatened to do something to it.
17.48 : Jack O'Neill
I'm glad to see that you still have some respect left for me.
17.48 : Sam Carter
No comment on that.
***
18.30 : Sam Carter
Did you manage to find Daniel, Sir?
18.30 : Jack O'Neill
No, why?
18.31 : Sam Carter
He's in the infirmary, right now. Talking to Janet about his new allergy medication.
18.31 : Jack O'Neill
Not that I'm not grateful, Carter, but why are you telling me this?
What has Daniel done to piss you off?
18.31 : Sam Carter
Why are you assuming that?
18.31 : Jack O'Neill
Because you know how badly I want to give Daniel a piece of my mind about his little stunt, and I'm quite sure that you wouldn't want to see it happen if you were on good speaking terms with him. He is your best buddy.
Now, stop avoiding my question, and tell me what has he done to you? And you can forget about lying, I can see right through you, just in case you haven't noticed it yet.
18.31 : Sam Carter
Nothing. But please do me a favour, when you finish with him, would you let him know that he can't get his Palm until next week. And he shouldn't waste any more breath bothering me about it until then.
18.32 : Jack O'Neill
He asked for one?
18.32 : Sam Carter
Yes. Apparently, he was a bit jealous that you got one.
18.32 : Jack O'Neill
Excuse me? He was jealous of me? What about you? You have one too.
18.32 : Sam Carter
Daniel said that he probably could put the Palm to better use than playing games. Basically, he was disappointed because he thought I chose you and not him to test the Palms. He practically accused me of favouritism. Yeah, right, like he wouldn't choose you over me if he wanted to play chess.
18.32 : Jack O'Neill
Well, you do like me better than Daniel, right?
18.32 : Sam Carter
No comment.
And may I remind you *why* we have these Palms in the first place, Sir?
18.32 : Jack O'Neill
It's still fresh in my mind. No need for the reminder, thank you very much. It brings back all the frustrations that you have heaped upon me.
18.32 : Sam Carter
Really?
18.32 : Jack O'Neill
Remember when you blew up 'The O'Neill'? I still hate you for that.
18.32 : Sam Carter
Would you rather the Replicators had taken over the Asgard's home world then?
18.33 : Jack O'Neill
No. But I still think that blowing up 'The O'Neill' was *not* the answer to that problem.
18.33 : Sam Carter
That might be true, but it was much more fun though.
Anyway, I have to get back to work.
Please don't forget to tell Daniel what I told you earlier.
18.33 : Jack O'Neill
Yes, Ma'am.
***
23.49 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, are you there? I'm staying at the base today. I couldn't be bothered to go home.
23.49 : Sam Carter
Oh. Me too.
23.49 : Jack O'Neill
Have you been working late again?
23.49 : Sam Carter
Yes. I wanted to have a good look at all the technology that SG-9 managed to bring back home, before we left tomorrow for our mission.
23.49 : Jack O'Neill
Don't pull all-nighters too often, Major; it's not good for your complexion.
23.50 : Sam Carter
I'm touched that you care about my complexion. But I still can't believe that you're going ahead with that plan. Poor Daniel.
23.50 : Jack O'Neill
You participated in planning it, Carter. And if I remember correctly, you gave some interesting suggestions.
23.50 : Sam Carter
I thought you were joking! How am I supposed to know that you were serious?
Any chance of me backing out from this?
23.50 : Jack O'Neill
Hey, your choice. Daniel or your bike.
I won't force you to do anything that you don't want to. Well, outside work, that is.
Anyway, I thought you were pissed at Daniel?
23.50 : Sam Carter
Damn it.
He's forgiven already. He brought a wonderful cup of coffee to my lab earlier.
23.50 : Jack O'Neill
I take it that you choose your bike?
How come you let him go so easily and yet when it came to me, you seemed to be milking everything that you want for all its worth?
23.50 : Sam Carter
Yes. I am.
You're much more fun to tease than Daniel.
23.51 : Jack O'Neill
Evil Carter shows her true colours.
Anyway, we have a mission tomorrow. Don't work too late, OK?
Goodnight.
23.51 : Sam Carter
Goodnight, Sir.
***
Note: So, I've been a bit busy lately, thus I don't know what the title of the next chapter would be yet. But Daniel will suffer, although the degree of the suffering still depends on my mood *g*. Feedbacks and reviews and bloopers are welcome.
PS: I'm planning to share all the bloopers later on, when I finished the series (or when I got so busy and don't have time to write anymore *eg*). Thus all bloopers from any chapters are wanted. I thank all the people who had tried their best (or worse, depend on the perspective *g*) and send me the bloopers. Keep them coming. To give you some encouragement, I gave you this one:
18.32 : Jack O'Neill
Remember when you blew up 'The O'Neill'? I still hate you for that.
18.32 : Sam Carter
That was not what you say last night when I tucked you in.
Story Notes: His and Hers 08: 8th story in 'His and Hers' < www.geocities.com/bluetopazfic/index#hah >
Note: Thanks to Aud who beta-read this story.
URL of this story (for better formatting):
www.geocities.com/bluetopazfic/hisandhers8.htm
http://fly.to/bluetopazfic/
EMAIL: blue-topaz@lycos.com
Note: Thanks to Aud who beta-read this story.
URL of this story (for better formatting):
www.geocities.com/bluetopazfic/hisandhers8.htm
http://fly.to/bluetopazfic/
EMAIL: blue-topaz@lycos.com
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]