His and Hers 09: His Dream and Her Prank
*Tuesday, 16 July 2003*
05.51 : Jack O'Neill
Are you awake yet?
05.52 : Sam Carter
Yes. Good morning, Sir.
05.52 : Jack O'Neill
Morning.
I had a weird dream last night. About Newie, your cactus.
05.52 : Sam Carter
You're joking, right?
05.52 : Jack O'Neill
Nope.
05.52 : Sam Carter
And you're telling me this, why?
05.52 : Jack O'Neill
Because you were in it.
05.52 : Sam Carter
What could you have possibly dreamt about with my cactus and me in it?
05.52 : Jack O'Neill
Well, do you remember the reason why I gave you the cactus?
05.53 : Sam Carter
You said that the cactus shape reminded you a little bit of an apple (that was the reason why I named him 'Newton'). And because I explained wormhole theory to you using an apple once, you think it was only prudent for me to have it. If I don't have an apple lying around, you said that I can use Newton instead. Come to think of it, it was very thoughtful of you, Sir.
05.53 : Jack O'Neill
Oh well, anything for my favorite scientist.
Anyway, in my dream, I was strapped to a tree, and you were climbing to the top of it with Newie in your hand. You were threatening to recreate Isaac Newton's discovery of the Theory of Gravity, using your beloved (your word, not mine) cactus, if I didn't give you what you wanted (I'm not sure what that was). What were you doing in my dream? And a weird one at that.
05.53 : Sam Carter
Your favorite scientist? You're being too kind, Sir.
Why are you asking me this? It's *your* dream, not mine. Besides, I will not do such cruel thing to Newton. The poor thing wouldn't survive that terrifying experience.
05.53 : Jack O'Neill
You care more about your plant than me? *I* was the one whose head was going to be 'dropped onto' with that spiky plant.
05.53 : Sam Carter
Newton *was* the one who was going to lose his spikes. Poor him.
05.53 : Jack O'Neill
I should have known that you would think that way. I wonder why I bother telling you these things in the first place. You would only use it as an opportunity to make fun of me.
05.53 : Sam Carter
Are you accusing me of being insensitive where it concerns you, Colonel?
05.53 : Jack O'Neill
Do you even have to ask?
05.53 : Sam Carter
Nah, I guess not.
05.54 : Jack O'Neill
Times like this make me wish that hundreds of years ago, that Newton guy was sitting under a coconut tree, instead of an apple one, when the tree dropped it. He would've got a concussion, I could've passed physics with flying colors in high school, and you wouldn't be threatening me with a cactus in my dream. A better world for all of us to live in.
05.54 : Sam Carter
I think I like this world better.
05.54 : Jack O'Neill
I'd be surprised if you didn't.
05.54 : Sam Carter
If there's nothing else, I'll see you in the mess hall for breakfast, Sir.
05.54 : Jack O'Neill
Wait, there is one more thing. How's the power bar going?
05.54 : Sam Carter
Don't worry about it. I borrowed one of Janet's biggest needles. It was perfectly done.
05.54 : Jack O'Neill
Have you told SG-6 to bring their own camera?
05.55 : Sam Carter
Yes. They promised they'll get the best pictures for you.
And Sir, I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid you'll have to plant the power bar yourself. I really want to take a good look at those machines that are currently on my lab bench right now. I won't be able to see them for at least 72 hours (that is, if our mission runs smoothly, which I very much doubt).
05.55 : Jack O'Neill
Fine. Hand it to me during breakfast, I'm sure I can slip it in his vest pocket when he gears up. Daniel is scheduled to depart earlier than us, at 11.00. It should give us enough time to complete the 09.00 briefing and catch him before then.
05.55 : Sam Carter
OK. I'll see you there.
***
10.48 : Jack O'Neill
The power bar is in place. Daniel is departing any minute now.
10.50 : Sam Carter
How long do you reckon before he's feeling peckish?
10.50 : Jack O'Neill
10-20 minutes?
10.50 : Sam Carter
Yeah, that was my estimate too.
Do you think Daniel will know that you're behind this, Sir?
10.51 : Jack O'Neill
*We*, Carter, *we* are behind this. Don't try to lay the blame solely on me. *You* are as responsible as me in this. You are the one who injected those Marmite into the power bar. Those Brits sure are strange, who ate that stuff anyway? I had a try and it tasted awful. How do you managed to get it?
10.51 : Sam Carter
They sell it here, but only in certain shops. That stuff is so useful for harmless prank. Besides, I've already asked Janet to make sure that Daniel is not allergic to the ingredients found in it.
How long do your think before Daniel touches another power bar again?
10.51 : Jack O'Neill
A long time, I hope. That guy has a serious addiction problem to the power bar.
10.51 : Sam Carter
And coffee.
10.51 : Jack O'Neill
Yes, and coffee.
I wish I was there to see the look on his face when he takes a bite, though.
10.51 : Sam Carter
I'm sure SG-6 won't miss it, Sir. They're professional. The video footage should be a sufficient visual replacement.
10.51 : Jack O'Neill
Yeah. I guess that should do. For now.
Don't you feel good about it?
10.51 : Sam Carter
Well, I'll decide how I feel after I see the tape.
And the state that Daniel is in after he realises that SG-6 took nothing but decaf coffee with them.
10.51 : Jack O'Neill
Good. Good.
How did SG-6 take it when you told them to take no regular coffee?
10.51 : Sam Carter
They took some, Sir. They just won't share it with Daniel. I made them promise.
10.52 : Jack O'Neill
Which charm of yours did you use this time?
10.51 : Sam Carter
The 'I won't tell the General that you're the lot who trashed the rec. room last week if you do this for me' charm.
10.52 : Jack O'Neill
Blackmail, Carter?
10.52 : Sam Carter
No, Sir. It's my charm, not blackmail.
10.52 : Jack O'Neill
Whatever you say. The power bar and the coffee should be enough for now. We'll do more once he gets back.
Hey, maybe we should hide some of his rocks while he's away.
10.52 : Sam Carter
I feel like I’m back in high school. Hiding someone's book, just because I knew that it would get them into trouble.
10.52 : Jack O'Neill
Yeah, that might be a little bit too immature. But it'll be fun. A whole load of fun.
Think about it, Daniel won't suspect us. We're kinda above those silly things.
10.52 : Sam Carter
I'm not sure about the 'above' things. Look what we have just done with the power bar.
10.52 : Jack O'Neill
So?
10.53 : Sam Carter
Nothing. I'm going to check on our MALP. I'll talk to you later, Sir.
10.53 : Jack O'Neill
OK.
***
13.57 : Sam Carter
Sir, the General is looking for you. Where are you anyway?
14.04 : Sam Carter
Colonel?
14.05 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, give me a few minutes, will you? I'm in the men's room right now. And don't you dare ask why!
14.06 : Sam Carter
Oh. OK. Well, enjoy your stay there, then.
I'll let the General know that you are 'unreachable' at this moment. But you had better get to his office once you're finished whatever it is that you are doing.
I won't even ask why you have your Palm with you in there.
PS: Don't forget to wash your hands afterward.
14.06 : Jack O'Neill
Funny, Carter.
I'll go to the General's office as soon as I can.
14.06 : Sam Carter
Roger that.
14.06 : Jack O'Neill
And Carter, I know we're not face-to-face at this moment, but I bet there's a sick grin on your face right now. Lose it!
14.06 : Sam Carter
Aye aye, Sir.
***
14.49 : Jack O'Neill
Are you sure that we can't bring our Palms with us?
14.49 : Sam Carter
Positive, Sir. It would be like taking your GameBoy on a mission. It's against the regulations.
14.50 : Jack O'Neill
Since when do I really follow the regulations?
14.50 : Sam Carter
Do you really want me to answer that? And why do you want to bring it anyway?
14.50 : Jack O'Neill
With Teal'c hanging with his buddies, I need something to occupy my time. The Palm has some great games.
14.50 : Sam Carter
Are you implying that I'm bad company?
14.50 : Jack O'Neill
Of course not. You don't really care that I can be such a jerk sometimes, you translate all those cryptic or techno babbles into terms that I can understand perfectly, you know a lot about the Simpson's, and you're so easy on the eye. What is so bad about you?
14.50 : Sam Carter
Is this your way of apologizing?
14.51 : Jack O'Neill
Whatever floats your boat, Major.
14.51 : Sam Carter
Then I take it as an apology.
Hey, what did the General want?
14.51 : Jack O'Neill
Nothing too important. He just wants to have a BBQ party for the whole of the SGC next week. Something about us deserving a little break after a grueling year. Besides, we never really held a welcoming party for Daniel after he was descended. Even though it will be a few months late, I think we should go for it. Hammond wants me to organize the party.
14.51 : Sam Carter
Oh. I see.
If there's nothing else, I'll talk to you later. I'm in my lab right now, still 'playing' with the technology that SG-9 brought back yesterday.
14.51 : Jack O'Neill
I'll meet you in the Gate room then. We'll depart at 17.00. Don't be late.
14.51 : Sam Carter
I won't.
***
*Wednesday, 17 July 2003*
No entry recorded
***
*Friday, 18 July 2003*
No entry recorded
***
*Saturday, 19 July 2003*
22.20 : Jack O'Neill
I'm beat. I can't even find the energy to go home. I think I'll crash at the SGC tonight.
22.20 : Sam Carter
Me too.
Those Jaffa sure knew where to build their camp. It must be at least twenty clicks from where the Gate is.
22.20 : Jack O'Neill
ARGH!
Don't remind me of that. My feet and calves are still hurting. Or maybe my age has just caught up with me.
22.20 : Sam Carter
It's nothing to do with age, Colonel. Mine are suffering the same as yours. Even Teal'c is a little bit fatigued; I guess the tretonin shot will never be as effective as a real symbiote. And, it didn't help that the debriefing was as long as it was.
22.20 : Jack O'Neill
Well, the General really couldn't help but ask those questions. This allegiance is important, for us and the Jaffa. It didn't help that Teal'c is his favorite SG-1 member.
22.21 : Sam Carter
Teal'c? Are you sure?
22.21 : Jack O'Neill
Sure. Daniel always runs around in circles before he finally gets to the point. He’s tested Hammond's patience too often. Me, well, you know me, I’ve opened my big mouth in front of Hammond one time too many. He doesn't like that. Teal'c is the silent type; he never beats around the bush. Teal'c has ticked off the General the least. Just the kind of soldier that he wants under his command.
22.21 : Sam Carter
What about me?
22.21 : Jack O'Neill
You don't count. Even though you're an SG-1, your past relationship with Hammond has definitely clouded his personal judgment. Nothing that you do will make him like you less.
22.21 : Sam Carter
That's comforting to know.
22.21 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, that's what I call nepotism.
22.21 : Sam Carter
Nepotism? I don't think so.
PS: That's a big word to use, Sir. Are you sure that you want to reveal the fact that you're not as ignorant as you let on?
22.21 : Jack O'Neill
Oh yeah, what do you call it then?
PS: What's the point of pretending? You're not most people, and I'm sure that you've figured out that fact already.
22.22 : Sam Carter
I would call it 'Godparent's love'.
PS: I'm glad to let you know, that I am gloating right now.
22.22 : Jack O'Neill
In the real world, it translates into nepotism.
PS: I'd be surprised if you weren't.
22.22 : Sam Carter
I dare you to say that in front of the General.
22.22 : Jack O'Neill
Don't tempt me.
22.22 : Sam Carter
In that case, I double dare you to say it in front of the General.
22.22 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, I can be everything but a fool. What makes you think that you can make me do that?
22.22 : Sam Carter
Can't hurt to try, can it?
Anyway, I'm going to bed early, I think. Daniel won't be back until tomorrow morning, I've checked with Sgt. Davis. Apparently, Daniel has requested one extra day to study the ruins.
22.22 : Jack O'Neill
Oh well, what can you expect from our archaeologist? We'll do the big plan tomorrow then. Right before his post-mission examination.
22.23 : Sam Carter
You're the Colonel. I'm just a lowly Major waiting for your order.
22.23 : Jack O'Neill
You should be grateful that I am actually in sync with your sense of humor, you know. Or else, you'll be in a brig already, for insulting superior officer.
22.23 : Sam Carter
Insulting? Me?
22.23 : Jack O'Neill
I can't win this argument, can I?
22.23 : Sam Carter
You said it. Night, Sir.
22.23 : Jack O'Neill
Hey, Carter, wait a minute. We should have the results back from the shrink, right?
22.23 : Sam Carter
Actually, the General has them. He sent me a copy, but I haven't read it yet.
22.23 : Jack O'Neill
You're not even a little bit curious about it?
22.23 : Sam Carter
No. For all I care the shrink could say whatever he/she wants and it will not change a thing between the two of us. The General had promised that no matter what the result is, he would not compromise his best team. Besides, what does a stranger know about us?
22.23 : Jack O'Neill
I understand your point, I really do. There's no way that I would let someone dictate what I should and shouldn't do with my team, but I want to know what other people think about us.
22.24 : Sam Carter
And kick their asses if they said something bad about it, Sir?
22.24 : Jack O'Neill
I'll be damned if I don't.
22.24 : Sam Carter
Alright then, I'll take a look at it now. I guess I could stay awake for another half an hour or so.
22.24 : Jack O'Neill
Thanks, Carter.
22.24 : Sam Carter
Anything for you, Sir.
22.24 : Jack O'Neill
If only.
***
22.43 : Sam Carter
Right, do you want the short version or the long version of the results?
22.44 : Jack O'Neill
Both, please. The short one first.
22.44 : Sam Carter
Short version: Subject A (that's you) and Subject B (that's me) are OK together. They won't kill each other in the near future.
Long version: Subject A and B have a healthy working relationship. And in a non-job-related environment, they have settled to become more like friends rather than comrades. The trust and bonds that exist between them, come from the mutual respect that they share for each other. Blah, blah, blah (I'm tired, I want to go to sleep, the rest are nothing too important, therefore I couldn't be bothered to write it down. Honest, nothing too important.) In conclusion, the two subjects will work well together as a team.
There you go.
22.45 : Jack O'Neill
What do you know, huh? A shrink who actually knows how to do his job.
Hey, is everything that he says positive?
22.45 : Sam Carter
Well, he/SHE did express some concern about us getting too close, knowing our background as military officers, he/she is afraid that our close affiliation will affect our judgment in a combat situation. Nothing new.
22.45 : Jack O'Neill
Yeah. I really hope that the military was not that narrow-minded. How can they expect us not to care about the people that we work with?
22.45 : Sam Carter
They have their reasons, Sir.
22.45 : Jack O'Neill
If you're asking me, I don't think that the reason is good enough.
22.45 : Sam Carter
It's just the way this world is.
22.45 : Jack O'Neill
Well, this world sucks.
22.46 : Sam Carter
I agree.
However, I'm afraid that there's not much that we can do about it.
22.46 : Jack O'Neill
Yeah. But you know what, no matter how sucky this world is, I wouldn't want it any other way.
22.46 : Sam Carter
Because you prefer to fight for a better world to live in, rather than turning your back on it.
I know.
22.46 : Jack O'Neill
Get some rest, Carter. I've depressed you enough, tonight. And I'm sorry about that.
22.46 : Sam Carter
You did nothing but point out the truth, Colonel. And for that, I'm not sorry.
22.46 : Jack O'Neill
I knew you were going to say that.
Goodnight, Carter.
22.46 : Sam Carter
Night, Sir.
***
Note: Marmite is yeast extract, usually eaten with toast. Well, like the manufacturer said, you either love it or hate it. And I happen to hate it. The next one does not have a fixed title yet (the temporary one is 'His Intergalactic Stalker and Her Assistant', if you think that I'm weird, don't worry, I think the same). Anyway, for the next one, Daniel does suffer (in a good way). Feedback and bloopers are welcome.
22.22 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, I can be everything but a fool. What makes you think that you can make me do that?
22.22 : Sam Carter
Because if you don't, you'll sleep on the couch tonight.
Story Notes: His and Hers 09: SPOILER: A Matter of Time
SERIES: 9th story in 'His and Hers' < www.geocities.com/bluetopazfic/index#hah >
Note: Thanks to Aud who beta-read this story.
URL of this story (for better formatting):
www.geocities.com/bluetopazfic/hisandhers9.htm
http://fly.to/bluetopazfic/
EMAIL: blue-topaz@lycos.com
SERIES: 9th story in 'His and Hers' < www.geocities.com/bluetopazfic/index#hah >
Note: Thanks to Aud who beta-read this story.
URL of this story (for better formatting):
www.geocities.com/bluetopazfic/hisandhers9.htm
http://fly.to/bluetopazfic/
EMAIL: blue-topaz@lycos.com
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]