"I don't believe I'm even getting into this with you." groaned Sam Carter, as she leaned back in her chair, across from where Janet Frasier was sitting behind her desk.
"It's all in good fun," said Janet with a grin. She tapped the notepad on her desk with one end of her pen. "And besides, it's not like you or I have anything better to do."
"Apart from gossip about all the men in our lives?"
Janet grinned. "Exactly. And besides, which do you think is more fun? Reviewing the results of your last physical, which you already peeked at - don't look at me like that, I /know/ you did - or gossip?"
Sam folded her arms with a sigh shaking her head. "Fine, fine. Whatever!"
"Great," Janet leaned back in own chair, kicking her feet up on her desk, on a spot that was relatively clear of paperwork. Sam sometimes thought that the Doctor never cleared up her desk, simply rummaging through the mounds for whatever she needed.
"Who shall we start with?"
"Um..." Sam stared into air for a moment. "I don't know. Pick someone."
"Uh... Hammond?"
"Janet! Pick someone else."
Janet grinned mischeivously. "Ok... Jack O'Neill." Janet drew a line down the middle of her notepad, labelling both columns. "Pros."
"Good sense of humour."
Janet made a face. "Which only you appreciate." she pointed out.
"Not bad looking."
"'Not bad'?"
"Ok, good looking."
Janet grinned and jotted that down on the paper underneath 'GSOH'.
"Great with children."
Janet glanced up with a grin at Sam rapid reeling off of the characteristics. "You've been making a list at home, haven't you?"
Sam ahemed to herself, blushing slightly. "Moving on Janet?"
The Doctor sighed. "You're no fun to tease. Cons."
Sam sighed. "He's my CO, there's that whole regulations thing."
Janet tilted her head in a 'just-so' gesture. "Nothing like a court martial to put a dampner on a relationship."
"Yeah, the 'we were under the influence of an alien virus' excuse only works so many times." Sam ignored the sudden sharp look that Janet gave her.
"You've used it before?? Sam... you didn't tell me about that."
"He's older than I am."
"Hmm..." Janet murmured as she wrote that down. "There was that 'alien virus' incident where he volunteered as a test subject. Sign of a self-sacrificing personality."
"Right... put that in the pros column."
"Already done." Janet hmmed softly. "Daniel... pros." she and Sam looked at each other.
"Cute." they chorused and chuckled to themselves.
Sam tilted her head. "He actually understands what I'm talking about sometimes, rather than getting that glazed over look so many men get when I'm talking about astrophysics."
"Or the finer details of the complex relationship between host and symbiote in a variety of life forms such as Ja-" Sam was getting that glazed over look, so Janet frowned, snapping her jaw shut. "Look, I've gotten that too, ok?" she said, putting 'all men are imbeciles' in the margin of the page out of spite.
"Let's see... his cons... he's a geek."
"It's the computer age, Sam," Janet said, waving the end of her biro in Sam's direction. "Geeks are in."
"How many computer geeks speak twenty three languages? Not to mention specialise in anthropology, linguistics and egyptology."
"Ok, stop there, you're frightening me off the guy my nurses affectionately refer to as the 'cute mummy'."
Sam stared in complete bafflement at her friend for a long moment, so Janet felt compelled to explain.
"Cute, that reference is obvious. Mummy, is a reference to his egpytology and his tendency to wind up wrapped in bandages."
There was a long moment, then Sam's face lit up.
"There you go, you got it." Janet said, leaning back. Maybe she'd make up a dictionary of all these little terms for all the new people in the SGC. They all seemed to ask her about it eventually...
Sam leaned forward, resting her elbows at on the desk. Unfortunately, her motion dislodged several files and sent them fluttering to the floor.
"Janet, don't you ever do anything about this desk?" she asked rhetorically as she bent to pick up the files.
"Actually, I've found that the older stuff tends to gradually move outwards. If you position a bin at the end of the desk, well, it saves messing up the floor. Who's next?"
Sam thought for a moment. "Martouf."
"Ok, then. Cons."
"The voice and the eyes are a little off-putting."
Janet hmmed for a second. "Actually, that's more Lantesh's doing."
"They come under the same heading." said Sam dismissively. "I have very... confusing feelings and vivid images left over from Jolinar about him."
"Confusing is right." Janet said. "Here's another confusing thing: if you were going out with him, you'd be going out with two people."
"My life is complicated already, Janet."
"Pros." said Janet, absently drawing fluffy bunny rabbits on the legal pad.
"I have very vivid images left over from Jolinar about him."
Janet frowned. "But you put that in the Cons col-" She saw the way in which Sam was looking at her and comprehension dawned. "Ah... I see."
"Ditto with the intelligence thing I said about Daniel."
The Doctor pressed a little harder with her pen to do the whiskers of her rabbits. "The Tok'ra seem to think the Tau'ri are a little primative."
"Good for the Tau'ri." Janet threw her an amused look. "Ok, put it in the cons column." Sam tilted her head to look at the header of one file. Ooh... her psychological evaluation... Janet saw her gaze and gave her a slight shake of the head.
"So, Doctor Carter," said Janet, tossing down the pad and giving Sam her most professional, cool, gaze. "What conclusions can we draw from this data?"
"That if we can only think of three men, then we really need to get out more."
-Fini
= Jewels = http://jump.to/jewels.realm
Story Notes: Title: Pros and Cons
Author: Jewels
Email: jhantor@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: Humour, reference to various pairings
Spoilers: Nope.
Archive: SJA, Heliopolis, go ahead, anyone else, ask me first please.
Summary: Janet Frasier and Samantha Carter draw up Pros and Cons lists.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. They're not mine, never have been mine, even though I wish they were.
Notes: Don't know where this came from. Don't kill me for the Marty references, S/Jers out there... please?
Author: Jewels
Email: jhantor@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: Humour, reference to various pairings
Spoilers: Nope.
Archive: SJA, Heliopolis, go ahead, anyone else, ask me first please.
Summary: Janet Frasier and Samantha Carter draw up Pros and Cons lists.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. They're not mine, never have been mine, even though I wish they were.
Notes: Don't know where this came from. Don't kill me for the Marty references, S/Jers out there... please?
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]