One of the Girls
It started as a normal night out. Jack O'Neill had talked his teammates - most of them - into heading to a bar at the start of their downtime. His Second, Major Sam Carter, had declined the offer, saying she had "other plans." He hadn't been given the opportunity to dwell on what those plans were as Teal'c, Jonas Quinn and Daniel Jackson had taken it upon themselves to keep his mind from wandering - by inviting as many male colleagues as they could find to join them.
Jack hadn't expected to enjoy himself but after several beers and a few conversations that wouldn't have taken place in the presence of a female - Air Force officer or not - he started to relax and get into the swing of things.
And then he heard it.
Familiar if not a little hysterical-sounding. Laughter. Laughter he recognized combined with laughter he hadn't heard for years.
Excusing himself from the tables the SGC men had congregated around under the guise of getting another drink, the sixty-percent sober Colonel did his best to slip into special ops mode and started to investigate. He managed to bump into three people, knock over one stool and spill two drinks during his "discreet" exploration of the crowded bar but finally, he located the source of the disturbing sound.
Both of them.
The world stopped turning, time stopped passing by and Jack stood there frozen in the middle of the bar. Everyone else faded from existence; everybody but them.
Had the world gone mad when he wasn't looking? Had the Goa'uld taken over when he had his back turned? Had he fallen and hit his head in a drunken stupor or touched something he shouldn't have and managed to send himself to an alternate reality?
Sam Carter *and* Sara O'Neill?
Sitting at a table *together*?
Leaning close and laughing like old friends?
*What* the hell..?
He debated briefly whether he should leave them alone and let his mind believe it was a semi-drunken illusion even though he'd had very little to drink or whether he should go over and do the polite, small-talk thing and try to subtly find out what they were doing together.
His legs decided not to bother waiting for his brain to make a decision, taking him over to the small table the two women were sitting at, leaning into each other and giggling about something he wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"Hey." It wasn't the most original start to the conversation but it was enough to get them to look at him. Now what? Shoving his hands in his pockets, Jack looked from one blank face to the other, noticing the unmistakable drunken haze clouding their eyes. "So did I miss a memo or something that said you two know each other?"
Sara looked at Sam and Sam stared back. Then they looked at him.
"What are you talking about, Jack?"
"What do you mean, Sir?"
The two women once again glanced at the other, lopsided grins spreading across their faces. They looked back at him, then at each other and started giggling as though they'd realized something hilarious - and weren't about to let him in on the secret.
"He's.. Jack's..?"
"And your..?"
The giggles started again, making Jack feel decidedly uncomfortable standing in front of their table, convinced that the eyes of most of the bars patrons would be upon them.
"Maybe I should go and leave you to your evening.."
"No!" Sara managed to get out between giggles, motioning enthusiastically to the spare seat and almost knocking over one of the bottles of beer at the same time. Only the quick thinking action of Sam saved it from being spilt over the table, the Major clutching it a little too protectively. "Pull up a seat. Have a drink. This is fun!"
She started giggling again, just as Sam stopped. "Hold up." She pointed at the Colonel, apparently not noticing that her drinking had impaired her sense of direction, missing him by inches. "*He's* your ex-husband?"
"Yesss.." The smile that spread across Sara's face could only be classed as sly. "He's your commanding officer?"
Jack watched Sam's reaction carefully, intrigued when her flushed cheeks grew redder and a small groan escaped her lips as she let her head drop against her hands. " Yes," came the mumbled answer.
Sara's grin widened, her eyes sparkling mischievously as they locked with Jacks. "This could get interesting." She patted Sam on the shoulder in a gesture of mock condolence "This could get *very* interesting." Fluttering her eyelashes at her ex-husband, she gave Sam's shoulder a squeeze. "Since you seem to be joining us, Jack, it's your round. Two glasses of white wine, please."
"Big glasses," Sam added, her words still muffled. "*Huge* glasses."
"Right. Two *huge* glasses of wine coming up." Shaking his head in bewilderment, wondering if he was indeed in an alternate reality - or maybe he'd been hit really hard on the head and was hallucinating, that would work - Jack headed for the bar.
Three strides away from the table and he was out of earshot.
He was sure that had to be a good thing when the laughter started up again.
=*=
Glancing around to see if anyone was watching - and surprised to see quite a few were - Sam tried to speak through her giggling, something that wasn't easy when all she had to do was look at Sara to find something uncontrollably funny. What the something was, her alcohol-addled mind still didn't know. "We're so gonna get kicked out of here. That guy keeps giving us funny looks."
Blinking, Sara stopped giggling long enough to look around, her brow furrowing as she tried to see with blurred vision who her friend meant. "Which guy?"
"The one behind the bar." Sam leaned closer so she didn't have to say it too loud, causing them to start giggling girlishly again when she almost toppled off her seat and onto Sara's lap. "Oops. Sorry."
"Ah, doesn't matter." Sara stared at the man behind the bar, going so far as to wave at him when he continued to stare blatantly at their table, grinning inanely when his cheeks turned bright red and he ducked his head. "We'll just have to have a girls night in instead."
Momentarily confusion caused Sam's amusement to fade. "But we're out already."
"Actually we're in.." Sara corrected, swirling what was left of her wine in the glass moments before downing it all and motioning to the room, glass still in hand. "Just in here, not in.. somewhere else."
"Oh. Okay." Running the answer through her mind, Sam couldn't find anything wrong with it. So she shrugged and turned to Sara, waggling her finger determinedly. "But we're unplugging the phone before we open the wine next time we're in-in."
Pouting, Sara put the glass down. "Why?"
Waving her beer bottle around to punctuate her point, Sam shook her head vehemently. "Making prank phone calls to exes is not a good idea." The smallest of giggles escaped her. "Especially not when your ex is my CO!" As the memory sank in, amusement turned to mortification. "Tell me we didn't do what I think we did?
"When? What'd we do?" Frowning, Sara stared at her blankly, her eyes becoming slightly glazed as she tried to get her mind to think.
"A while ago now," even as she said it, a light blush spread up her neck and coloured her cheeks. "The fake chat-up-thingy."
"Oh.. Yeah.. Hee.." A very big, very wicked smile spread across Sara's face as she remembered the event in question. A night that included them taking turns in flirting outrageously with the others chosen exes. "Forgot about that."
"Oh, I so wish I had.." Sam's eyes darted over to the bar where one of the exes in question was paying for their drinks before starting to head their way. "Please promise me you won't ever *ever* tell him that was me?"
The look she got in return was mischievous at best. "I promise.. But.. it does make it funnier somehow!"
Choosing that moment to return to the table, Jack set their drinks down in front of them and sipped his own plain orange juice. "Make what funnier?"
He couldn't have known how they would react to his innocently asked question.
Sara burst into hysterical laughter, her shoulders shaking violently as she covered her face with her hands. Sam, interestingly, turned bright red, letting her head fall to the table with a thump as she groaned again.
=*=
Composing themselves, Sara and Sam found themselves able to carry on a relatively sensible conversation several minutes later. "So what were we talking about before he joined us?"
"Hey," Jack stared at his ex-wife, his eyebrow raised. "I am still here."
Completely ignoring him, Sam paused thoughtfully in sipping her wine. "We were talking about Tom.." She remembered, her brow creasing as she tried to think of what else they'd been discussing - that didn't involve the man sitting opposite her. "And those guys over there."
"Yeah! I remember," Sara's smile took on a dreamy quality as leaned her elbow on the table and tried to rest her chin against her hand. The first time she missed, the second time she managed to get her chin in her hand but her elbow slipped off the table. Deciding to abandon the idea, she let her hands rest on the table. "Tom's nice."
Sam nodded, letting her enthusiasm speak volumes for her agreement. "Very nice. I approve."
"You only approve because he bought you ice cream!" A laugh took the edge off her accusing tone. "You're too easy, sweetie."
"Hey!" Folding her arms over her chest, Sam scowled at her. "I am not!"
"In a non-easy-easy way!" Realizing her mistake, Sara hurriedly corrected herself. She looked at Sam, only to find a smile playing on her lips. Following her friends gaze, she found herself staring at Jack, whose confusion was clearly written across his face.
Biting on her lip, Sara did her best to stifle her amusement but only succeeded in snorting. One glance at her was all it too for Sam to catch the urge to laugh and the two of them were once again leaning into each other, giggling as if they'd been told the funniest joke anyone had ever heard.
"Okay.." Watching them, Jack decided he didn't want to know what was so amusing. Instead, he thought changing the topic of conversation might instil a little sanity into his companions. "Am I allowed to know who Tom is?"
"Tom's my boyfriend," Sara blurted out a little breathlessly. She had her arms wrapped around her stomach and wobbled atop her stool.
"Her *new* boyfriend," Sam added matter-of-factly. "Way better than that other guy.."
Sara stopped giggling and tilted her head to the side. "Which one?"
"Gary..? No.. Graham?" Clicking her fingers impatiently, Sam's brow furrowed as she tried to remember the name that lingered on the tip of her tongue. From where he was sitting, Jack had to stifled a snicker at the befuddled expressions on their faces. It was a nice change. "Gavin! That Gavin guy!"
"Oh yeah!" Grinning, Sara shook her head in disbelief. "He was a really, *really* low point."
Sam bit down on her bottom lip but still couldn't stop herself from smiling. "You couldn't get much lower."
"Nope.." Pausing in the middle of shaking her head again, Sara pulled a face and smiled lopsidedly. "But that guy over there comes a close second."
Intrigued, Sam glanced around. "Which guy?"
"The one watching us!" Sara rolled her eyes and narrowed her eyes.
Wryly, Jack gave up trying to decide which of their many admirers she could mean. He'd only been sitting with them for ten minutes and he already felt as though he was on display. "Think you'll have to be a little more specific there, Sara."
Frowning at their inability to see what she could see, Sara pointed at the man in question, oblivious to Jack's embarrassment as he cringed and tried to sink further down in his seat. "The one over there! The one whose nose does this." She pushed the end of her nose down, sending Sam into a fresh fit of laughter.
"You're terrible, you know that, don't you?" For her commanding officers sake, Sam tried not to giggle. She failed quite spectacularly, though.
Smugness was the only emotion Sara let show in her smile. "Tom seems to like me."
"Speaking of Tom.." Sam glanced down at her watch, squinting so the fuzzy numbers became a little clearer. "He'll be here to pick you up soon."
"Yeah." Nodding again, Sara smiled dopily. "I called him, what, half an hour ago?"
"Think it was more like an hour.."
"Oops.." She grinned at Jack, blinking, appearing as though she'd only just noticed he was still there. "We're going now."
Unable to help himself, Jack returned her grin. "I see that." He stood and motioned for them to lead him from the table. "I'll walk you out." He watched them get to their feet, swaying a little. Shaking his head in bewildered bemusement, Jack followed them slowly as they linked arms and unsteadily supported each other from the dingy bar, bumping into more than a few people and inanimate objects on the way though neither seemed to notice.
When they got outside, Sara stopped and pointed at one of the cars parked near the exit. "Hey, there's Tom!"
She and Sam both started waving and calling out to the bemused man concealed by shadows in the midnight blue Mercedes. Turning to Sara after he'd waved back, Sam willingly went into her friend's arms. "We have to do this again soon."
"Definitely." Both women wobbled a little as they pulled apart, needing a few moments to regain their balance, smiling as they did so. "And talk Janet into coming next time, okay?"
"I will, I promise." They hugged again but when they parted again, Sara grinned slyly.
She winked at her ex-husband. "Hey, Jack, be a nice guy and make sure Sam gets home safely, okay?" Before he could reply, she started towards the car, waving over her shoulder and calling out to them in a singsong voice. "Have fun!"
Rolling his eyes, Jack glanced at his Second to find her glancing down at the ground, her cheeks slightly flushed.
Alcohol, he told himself. It was all because of the alcohol.
"Need a lift home, Carter?" A nod was her only answer. "Okay. Just promise you won't throw up in the truck."
"I promise, Sir." Her words were sluggish, slurred by the alcohol she'd consumed and the almost overwhelming sleepiness she felt. Sam was only partly aware of him leading her to his truck and ushering her inside.
Her head lolled against the seat as he turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking space. She was dimly aware of him asking her questions, vaguely aware of answering yes or no but wouldn't be able to recall in the morning just what exactly she'd been saying yes or no to.
Coming to a stop at some traffic lights, Jack glanced over at her, wondering why she'd lapsed into silence. He'd been trying to figure out just how long she'd known his ex and how they'd met but she wasn't being very informative.
Nor, he realized, was she going to be any further help.
Snoring softly, curled up as much as she could with the seatbelt restraining her, Sam Carter was sound asleep, a small smile playing about her lips.
Rolling his eyes, Jack turned his attention back to the road. He wondered why he was surprised.
After all, it was a fittingly strange end to what had become an utterly surreal day.
=*=
Story Notes: Season: Six or seven.
I blame this fic entirely on my loopy sister and a really, really weird conversation with Saffy. Not. My. Fault. But.. "Don't be fooled by the socks that I've got, I'm still, I'm still Jo/Saffy from the block.." It'd be best not to ask. *g*
Thanks to Saffy and Ruthie for reading.
Dedication: Ruthie. *hugs* Keep smiling, okay?
Email: Jo@ram32.freeserve.co.uk
I blame this fic entirely on my loopy sister and a really, really weird conversation with Saffy. Not. My. Fault. But.. "Don't be fooled by the socks that I've got, I'm still, I'm still Jo/Saffy from the block.." It'd be best not to ask. *g*
Thanks to Saffy and Ruthie for reading.
Dedication: Ruthie. *hugs* Keep smiling, okay?
Email: Jo@ram32.freeserve.co.uk
End Notes: Continued in One of the Girls: The Morning After which, I'm reassured, is better than this one.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]