'This has been one of the longest days of my life', I think as I start the long journey out of the SGC. We finally got rid of that Hathor though, I hope. I was so scared back on that planet. Not for myself, but for Colonel O'Neill. I was horrified when Hathor put that Gou'ald in him. I thought I had lost him forever. Thank God for those Tok'ra.
She saved him. Who would have know that if you cryogenically freeze a Gou'ald it dies? I was so happy to see him alive again. I let my feelings show. Not a lot, but still some. So what if we hugged? Friends do that, right? Well, not like we did, and he certainly didn't seem to want to stop. So maybe he cares for me to. No, he was probably just in shock. Yeah, that's it.
When we made it back, we had to go through those post mission exams again. I feel sorry for Colonel O'Neill. He had to go through all kinds of tests after they found out he had a Gou'ald in him. The doctor just had to make sure it wasn't there anymore. That the Colonel really was himself.
So, while he was still being checked out, everyone that could reported to General Hammond about what happened. He was there for part of it, but not for everything.
I'll admit, I never expected to see the General come out of that glider with Teal'c. Then he started complaining about all the things he has to do for us. Well, SG-1 does get into a lot of trouble, but we always find a way out. I guess we're just really lucky.
Finally I make it to my car. I put on some nice music to help myself relax. After the briefing, General Hammond gave all of SG-1 a week off. I can't wait until I get home. For most of the week, all I'm going to do is lay around and do nothing.
When I make it home, I stretch out on the couch and turn on the TV. I'm not really paying any attention to it though. I let my mind wander. I think about all the stuff we do. We've save the world, I don't know how many times, and no one will ever know it.
No one knows how close we've been to loosing the world. Then, I think about how close I've come to loosing the people I care about. That thought about how lucky we are comes back to me. I remember all the bad stuff we've been though and still survived.
Poor Daniel has almost died a lot of times, and did a few times. He's usually the one of us that gets hurt the most. Like when we thought he was dead, but later found out those memories were false. I felt so horrible, we had left him behind.
Then there was that time we were going to blow up Apophis's ship. He had been shot protecting us, and again we left him behind. Thankfully there was a sarcophagus that he managed to get to, and then he used the gate to dial out to the beta site. Then, there was the time he got hooked on the sarcophagus.
That was that princess's fault. She thought he was her destiny. Just recently, we went through that body switching thing. Machello stole Daniel's body. Then, Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill switched.
That was all very confusing. Daniel's been through so much. Plus the whole thing with his wife, Sha're. He should be able to be with her. After everything he's been through, he should at least get to be with her. He's not though.
Teal'c gets hurt the least of us. He has had a few close calls, though. Like when he was stung by that bug. I don't think he'll ever forgive Maybourne for that, and I don't blame him.
He was going to let Teal'c die just do he could see what would happen. Other than that, Teal'c hasn't been through anything very bad. He's had those few injuries along the way, but nothing serious.
Then I start to think about Colonel O'Neill. He's been through a lot too. Most of it even before I met him. The most horrible thing of all is his son dying. I wonder how he made it through that. Daniel told me once that when he first met the Colonel, he was nothing like he is now.
Then, after that first mission his wife left him. I don't think he ever really got over all that stuff. Then, on all our missions, he's gotten into a lot of trouble too. Like when Hathor almost turned him into a Jaffa. Luckily there was a sarcophagus, and we saved him.
Then, there was the time when he and I were send through the gate in the Antarctic. Every time I think about that time, I get cold. He was hurt pretty badly, and I wasn't very good at helping him.
I remember how I tried to set his broken leg, and I know it probably hurt a lot. We couldn't get out, and we were going to die. Daniel had figured out that we were actually on earth. He figured out where we were, and people came and got us out of there.
Then, when that orb thing had him stabbed against the wall. I thought he was gone. I still remember the feeling I had when I gave the order to shoot him. We had to. Teal'c hit the orb with staff blasts, and then the organism could talk with us. It went through the Stargate and then Colonel O'Neill was back to himself again.
Then I think about our last mission. They told me everyone was dead. When he came and woke me up that one time, I was so happy to see him. When I was talking to him, I noticed that his eyes began to wander. He didn't keep his eyes on my face. Then, out in the hall, when the memory thing in my head went off, I remember how close he held me.
We didn't pull apart, even after the guards passed. Then, Hathor put that Gou'ald in him. I was so scared, I thought I'd never see him again. I did see him again though, the Tok'ra helped him. That hug, oh, it felt so good to be held in his arms like that. I didn't want to let go, but we had to.
Before I could think about all the stuff I've been through, which I didn't really want to think about anyway, there is a knock at the door. I stood up and walk to the door trying to think of who would be here at this time. What time was it anyway? I glance at the clock, it's almost midnight. I open the door, and find Colonel O'Neill standing there.
"Sir?" He doesn't answer. He looked distracted. I wave my hand in front of his face. He then looks at me. "You looked kind of out of it."
"I guess I was."
I look at him worriedly. "What are you doing here?"
He thinks for a minute before answering. "I don't know."
"You don't know?"
He shakes his head. I motion for him to come in. He does and sits down. I go and sit beside him.
"I guess I just didn't want to be alone right now." He says.
"Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Being home all by yourself lost in your thoughts."
We sat in silence for a while. Watching the TV I had left on. Neither of us were really paying any attention to it.
I turn toward him. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"
He looks unsure for a moment. "I guess I should get it off my mind." He pauses for a moment then continued.
"I'm not really sure how to say this. I've never been really good with words. I was scared ,Sam. When Hathor said that Gou'ald had chosen me I was horrified. I wouldn't be myself anymore. Then she said I was going to kill you and Daniel. I didn't want to."
"You didn't. None of that happened. You were saved."
"But I would have. If that thing hadn't have died, if I wasn't saved."
"Don't think about what could have happened. Think about what did happen."
"All I could think about was that I'd never get to see my friends again, and that I could never tell you the thing I've wanted to for so long."
"What? What did you want to tell me?"
He reaches over and takes my hand in his. I look up into his eyes and see all kinds of emotions. Some of which are probably mirrored in my own.
"Sam, I care for you, a lot more than a Commanding Officer should feel toward his Second in Command. I think... no, I know... I love you. I was always too afraid to admit it before. I was afraid you would say you don't feel the same way, and that you would never want to speak to me again. I was afraid then, but not anymore. I'm in love with you, Sam, and nothing can change that."
I'm almost in tears. That was probably one of the sweetest things ever said to me. Coming from him it meant more, I don't know why. Well, actually I do. It's because I feel the same way and have wanted to hear that from him for a long, long time. I barely whisper, "I love you too."
He leans forward and kisses me. It's so soft and sweet, but doesn't stay that way for long. Oh my God, I don't believe this is happening. I'm here kissing Jack, and I'm loving every moment of it. Soon our passion grows, and I pull him up with me to stand. I try to lead him in the direction of my bed room, but he stops me.
"Are you sure about this?" He asks a little out of breath.
"I've never been so sure about anything before."
I pull him in the direction of my room to show him how much I want this.